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if you can calmly practice them together you disinhibit them and increase the probability they |
will arise together on their own |
Walk Confidently as if Your Genitals Were on Display |
In Chapter we discussed how submissive animals minimize the appearance of physical assets |
like horns claws and muscles This includes the genitals Your everyday posture and |
mannerisms reveal cues to others as to how comfortable you are naked Body language evolved |
during our history as unclothed apes so even clothed we often act as if we were naked Most |
people conceal their genitals during times of insecurity with their hands legs chairs or tables |
When a dominant person makes a power play it is quite common for other people of the same |
sex to place their hands in front of their sex organs The only time you should conceal or protect |
the genitals is to block a physical blow to the groin |
Most people walk in a way that hides or apologizes for their genitalia Walking like this |
involves hunching or crouching of the lower back Remember the lumbar lordosis and anterior |
pelvic tilt discussed in previous chapters We actually use these to withdraw our private parts |
from view They obscure the genitals like a dog hiding its tail between its legs You should do |
the exact opposite This means walking around with the back and hips open as if presenting the |
genitalia To do this flex your buttocks Thats right gluteal contraction puts your genitals on |
display by pressing your hips forward and rolling the top of your pelvis back as discussed in |
Chapter It is an entirely different style of standing and walking that comes across as much |
more sexually selfassured |
If you can imagine being comfortably naked in social situations you will project higher |
confidence The more time you spend naked the more comfortable it will become which is |
why strongly recommend sleeping naked when possible If you have never slept naked you |
may lose some sleep the first night because of how uncomfortable you feel But you will relax |
into it within a week also recommend spending time alone in your room in the buff as |
described next |
Sexual Activity Spend an Hour in Your Room Naked |
Make sure no one can see into your room and you wont be disturbed Lock the door |
Completely disrobe Place towels underneath you if uncomfortable sitting on the floor naked |
Spend a full hour reading watching TV meditating whatever you want completely naked It |
can help to have a mirror in front of you Use optimal posture Once you become |
comfortable try talking on the phone How do you hold your body when completely nude |
Do you tend to cover up or hide your genitalia Is your posture retentive or expulsive Notice |
these tendencies change as you become comfortable Experiment with pushing your pelvis |
out contracting your glutes and spreading your legs in different ways If performed with |
paced breathing this activity will transform your relationship with your birthday suit |
PROGRAM PEACE Self Care Exercises to Reprogram Your Mind and Body |
Masturbation Trauma |
Most of us were petitioned by our parents at a very young age to stop touching our genitals in |
the company of others We learned to feel bad for stimulating the area resulting in a subtle |
form of trauma recommend briefly touching yourself in a sexualaffectionate way at least five |
times a day This can be a graze stroke or reassuring grope Some people already do this |
regularly To others it is very foreign You can do it alone or discretely in public Even a second |
of selfcomforting can help decrease bracing of the pelvic floor |
used to worry that frequent masturbation could cause specific forms of cancer until used |
pubmedcom to look at the actual medical studies It does not There are no diseases linked to |
masturbation So give yourself carte blanche to be completely selfindulgent However there |
are a few important caveats to keep in mind Masturbating to pornography may desensitize you |
to real people potentially leading to sexual dysfunction Also masturbating with a lubricant can |
make it difficult for men to sustain an erection with a condom Also consider masturbating |
while standing up to avoid losing the ability to remain aroused while standing Definitely |
consider masturbating while paced breathing For some people it takes time and work merely |
to reach arousal while paced breathing But the process will steel and gird your sexuality |
Studies have shown that placing tiny vibrators near or on the genitals of mice can increase |
sexual response interest and the production of sex hormones Studies like these suggest that |
the external use of vibrators may convince the mammalian body that it resides in some kind of |
maximally optimal sexual environment and may in turn elicit an optimal sexual response from it |
involving changes in gene expression Keep in mind though that masturbating to orgasm with |
some sex toys may make it difficult to sustain arousal during regular intercourse |
The fascia and muscles nestled in the pelvis control the responsivity of sexual arousal |
Massage and myofascial release are probably beneficial for these muscles however there is no |
existing rubric to help people do this safely and effectively Moreover excessive pressure could |
damage your sexual organs or drastically change the tone of the muscles that regulate blood |
flow to them For these reasons will not describe a protocol for genital massage here If you |
decide to use compressive massage on the areas between your legs recommend using only |
very light pressure That being said you should also find that groin stretching and antirigidity |
can be helpful in conditioning these muscles |
Sexual Expressivity |
The antirigidity exercises for the lumbar spine from Chapter will help free up your hips and |
lower back making your sexual expressivity more sensual and enjoyable Try to incorporate |
previously dormant muscles into intercourse and use them to explore new movement patterns |
Use the next two activities to enhance the coordination of the muscles and joints involved |
Sexual Activity Bump Your Pubis Against the Wall |
Find some privacy and turn on some sexy music Stand with your feet shoulderwidth apart |
and your toes touching a wall Press your pubic bone into the wall to the beat of the music |
You can bump against it like a bouncing basketball or smear yourself into it with each thrust |
Contract your buttocks firmly as you advance Vary the curvature of your lower back the |
distance between your feet and the placement of each blow against the wall |
Chapter Stop Sexually Submissive Behavior |
After a few sessions you will develop the coordination to turn it into a dance You can move |
each advance from left to right or from top to bottom Doing this against a door jamb can |
give you the leg room you need to bend your knees and drop lower You can also try this |
exercise by bumping your butt against the wall instead of your pubis Bang everything from |
your pubic bone to your hips your sacrum to your sitz bones into the brick wood or plaster |
Focus on rhythm timing and bravado |
Good sex should provide a massage to the pubic bone and the muscles that surround it |
for both partners The friction between your pubic hair and your partners should make |
rhythmic crackling sounds Pubicboneonpubicbone massage increases arousal and is one of |
the best ways to stimulate the clitoris Just like the muscles in our lower backs muscles that |
surround the pubic bone can take the form of tense cords that form tense cords Teaching |
yourself to massage them during the act of sex along with those of the other person can be |
very sexually empowering |
Sexual Activity Hump Your Pillows to Music |
Put on some music or a music video Stack pillows on your bed to support your pelvis in |
different sexual positions You can straddle these pillows kneel squat or lie on top of them |
You can also fold a pillow over a couple of times to make a hard raised surface to nestle your |
pubic bone up against As you explore different arrangements lean your pubic bone into the |
pillows from different angles |
While propped on the pillows simulate sexual thrusting grinding and gyrating movements |
to the beat of the music for an entire song Experiment with reciprocal and circular thrusting |
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