post_id stringlengths 7 7 | post_content stringlengths 268 12.1k | post_title stringlengths 20 279 | verdict stringclasses 7 values |
|---|---|---|---|
10vsxbd | Throwaway because some of my social circle has Reddit too. My boyfriend and I were hanging out with our Pokémon Go friends the other day and he had a question about a Pokémon from the main series games. He said “(other girl’s name), you play the main series, right?” and she said yes and answered his questions about it.I told him I also play the main series games, a while ago, and sometimes send him screenshots of things like glitches and shiny Pokémon I catch. He doesn’t play the main series games - just Pokémon Go.I know people forget sometimes, but I’m just not sure about why he asked her, instead of me 🤷🏻♀️WIBTAH if I brought it up with him, or should I just let it go? | WIBTAH if I told my boyfriend that I got a bit upset inside when he asked a female friend of ours if she plays main series Pokémon games, instead of me? | YWBTA |
10vvcqs | Our research title defense is scheduled for tomorrow. Our class was divided into four groups with five members each, much to my dismay. I’ve already heard enough horror stories from other students online on how this usually goes. One doesn’t participate, and your whole group falls apart. My group consists of three girls (including me) and two other guys. Now, this is where it gets tricky. Those two other guys aren’t really “the smartest tools in the shed” and I might sound like an asshole for saying that… But the rest of my classmates agree with me on this one. Like… once we got grouped and started asking each other on who’s the other members on their groups, they’ll shake their heads once they heard mine. “So we already got two down… But at least I have the two other girls to depend on to carry the group for them :))” I said to myself, one week ago. Well… yeah I was dead wrong. The first few days went by fine, we’ll talk to each other and assign tasks and go with our merry way. I try to communicate with them about it as much as possible, which was pretty hard for me considering I don’t even talk much to anyone or even at all in the first place, but I try anyways. Our “meetings” usually consists of me trying to initiate and suggest things on what we should do with this other girl while the leader either just stares at us, or is fucking around with her boyfriend. Though the other girl really isn’t much better either, her boyfriend’s also fucking glued to her so we couldn’t really get much work done or even talk much about our research papers without me feeling awkward and just fleeing the scene as fast as possible. So, here I am now at my house, planning on how the fuck exactly are we gonna do this tomorrow. It really shouldn’t be that hard considering this is only the first chapter, but our research teacher has been hyping this shit up so fucking much that you just cant help but feel nervous. So yeah… AITA? | AITA for storming out on my groupmates? | NTA |
10vsvgx | (bit of backstory) .. i have a friend that I’ve known for years and in college we formed a “trio” with another person (ex friend). my friend and I ended up having a falling out with this ex friend for basically the same reason, except my friend had more of an issue with them due to the ex friend telling other people about some personal drama about my friend.my friend and I then agreed to not let this ex friend back in our life as it was becoming a pattern. after a couple of months, the ex friend messaged both of us and wanted to talk about her side of things. my friend was very adamant on doing so and would say that it’s her way of trying to become friends with us again. she would also make jokes about if I talked to her/became friends with her again that she would never talk to me ever againI’m the type of person who wants closure when it comes to these type of situations so a couple of months after, i replied to the ex friends messaged and agreed to talk about things. the conversation went well and I concluded that I wouldn’t hold any harsh feeling towards them. however, 4 months have passed and I never ended up telling my friend about the conversation between me and the ex friend and I woke up the other day feeling guilty about not letting her know, however I’m worried that if I tell her that I spoke with this ex friend, that she would immediately drop me as a friend. | AITA: lying to my friend | ESH |
10vv49v | Husband and I will be first time parents in April. It’s been a real challenge to agreeing to a name for our baby girl. We have made progress though and we are going with the nickname he wanted ‘CeCe’ but I am having issues with feeling happy in deciding a first name. Originally, back before we decided on the nickname, I had brought up the name Cassidy— not my first choice, but it is a name I like— but he shot it down, saying it was one of those ‘whitetrash’ names. It’s not a favorite of mine, just a name I liked enough. Months later though, when we were going through C names after deciding on the nn, I found another name I liked, Cleo. Clara was also in our list and was the decided first name for a while, but I just wasn’t happy with it as much either. Anyway, at the beginning I was just really excited that we were actually pregnant (we had gone through fertility treatment) and I was very open to sharing my name ideas with my husband’s parents. What I didn’t expect was how different and opposing our liking of names would be and with each dislike from my name list (for this reason or that), the more I felt that I was losing my privilege of naming my daughter. My husband, even though he’ll deny it, sides with what his parents like, and when we asked what they thought of Cassidy, and they said they liked that name, that name shot to the top of the list. His mother disliked the name Cleo and when my husband and I did a name ranking of our C names, Cleo was totally last lol. Clara was liked but I’m just not feeling it anymore, neither with Cassidy. I’m okay with Cassidy as a middle name and the nickname CeCe, I just would like to at least choose the first name. Is it me just being an ass for not settling or am I making some sense? What I know definitely is that if there is a next time, I do not want to ask either of our family’s opinions of our name ideas lol. I love my in-laws and they’ve been so good to me, but this has been a real challenge. | AITA for not being happy with our future baby’s name? | NTA |
10vv1qb | TLDR at bottom A few hours ago I went to the ER and while my husband was there with me every step of the way, the mini issue arose when we left. Essentially, my husband (24m) was hungry so we stopped for some pizza on the way back. Before he stepped out, I was reading something out loud (that he wanted me to read to him) he got out of the car and slammed the door in middle of my sentence. No, he wasn’t angry. He just didn’t think it was necessary for me to finish my sentence (he confirmed this). While this annoyed me, I brushed it off until my husband started to rush into the box of pizza to get a slice before we head home. Typically I don’t mind, but this man, this lovely man, smacks his gums and I feel annoyance to my core. I’ve asked him many times not to chew in the car if he can avoid it for short drives. Our apartment was down the road. He told me to stop controlling him, and he snatched the pizza from me and yelled. Okay. I can handle that. Then, my lovely husband decided to say that if I didn’t hold his hand while I was upset that he wouldn’t take the dogs out for their nightly walk (so the dogs can do their business). Mind you, considering I just left the ER and was under strict rules of lowering my heart rate and to not under ANY circumstances exercise or walk much, so I was really stressing out at this point and crying. He shrugged off me crying and rolled his eyes. I tried to say something later and he just held his hand up to my face and says that it’s been a long day so he doesn’t want to talk. For clarification, I was in class all day and he was at work prior to me heading to the ER (12-7). I know I’m just being dramatic and I’m not claiming this is some large issue. Yes, I’m sure we are immature and I’d really like avoid a lecture. My marriage was due to a unique situation, albeit I still love that man. No, the reasoning was not religious and I am from the US before anyone asks. I’d really just like to know if I’m being an ass for being upset and if it’s wrong that I’m semi avoiding him. (I’m still talking to him, just reduced). Also. I know this is minor in the grand scheme of things. I have difficulty understanding situations from time to time so I was just curious for input. TLDR I might be an ass for being upset because my husband cut me off and disregarded my doctor’s instructions | AITA for being upset with my (22f) husband (24m) after my visit to the ER? | NTA |
10vusmq | My partner and I have been together for almost two years, and we have been living together for the majority of that time. He moved in with me and my at the time roommate, along with my two cats and my dog, right after graduating college. Before that, he would visit, and he loved my animals to death, playing with them constantly and even buying them toys. Fast forward a year or so, and that is no longer the case. For the back story on my dog, she is nearly 7 years old and has been with me for 6 of them. She is a rescue, and I didn't have major issues with her until about 3 years ago. My roommate wasn't helping me take care of her as per our agreement, and she started a habit of soiling a specific corner of the apartment when she was left alone. I tried medications, cbd, diapers, everything, and even the vets weren't sure what exactly was happening. So I decided that I would use pee pads and clean after her whenever it happened, I've had special needs dogs before and didn't mind as she was always well behaved otherwise, but stress gets the best of her. Back to the present, my partner, who has not signed up for a special needs pup, though barely helps to take care of her as is, has asked me to rehome her. His reasoning is that he's tired of coming home to a mess to clean and shouldn't have to deal with an animal like that. I typically am home before him as he works nights, and I prefer mornings and I have expressed that I have no problem cleaning after her because I adore her, but he's decided that she's to leave by the end of the month, or he's letting her run out of the front door, and won't let me get a word in on the matter. She's also been slowly making progress. Her accidents have not been as frequent, and the messes she's had have been smaller, but he won't listen or see it at this point. I have told him that I want to keep her, that I love her, and that I understand that as a pet owner of an animal that has extra care attached to them that I accept the responsibility that comes with that. Every time that I bring up why I don't understand why that's an issue to keep her, he blows up on me and threatens the relationship. The conversation goes nowhere and leaves us angry and fuming with each other. I don't know what the right decision is at this point, and I'm so confused, but I also don't know if I'm missing something that he sees in this situation. Am I the asshole for wanting to keep my special needs dog that I've had longer than I've been with my partner? | AITA For wanting to keep my dog when my partner is adamant on her leaving? | NTA |
10vq4hf | My family moved into a bigger house about a year ago, which meant the cost of housemaids would be more expensive. My mom wanted to save money and assigned each person (including my grandparents) to clean different areas of the house. I was assigned to clean up the kitchen and windows every day and I would switch with my sister each week. My sister is a very lazy person when it comes to housework and she would do anything to not do it. She would make excuses about having lots of homework (which is true) but yet she pulls that same excuse on the weekends. Long story short, I have been cleaning up the kitchen and windows for about a good 5 months straight. Today, after dinner my mom said for my sister and I to help clean up, and once again, my sister pulls the "I have hw card". I finally got sick of my mom letting my sister off each time and letting her get away with housework, and just started yelling at her. I kept complaining about how I'm not a janitor cleaning up everyone's crap, toilets don't need cleaning like every week, and my sister had barely gone into the kitchen to help clean up. My mom kept pulling the same excuse I was sick of hearing, "Your sister is lazy but she is very hardworking. I will let her do the chores sometime later." (which is never)I then went on complaining about how not only do I have to now clean up windows but I have to clean bathroom mirrors, the sink, clean up the toilet (including the underside which is really gross cuz there is piss and poo under), and wipe down the shower mirrors. the thing is my mom checks every little speck of the bathroom and mocks/scolds me for not cleaning it well enough. During the argument, I asked my mom to clean up the toilets instead since she wants the area to be completely clean and she went hysterical saying how she is my mother, she has done so much for me, and I should learn to respect her. The fight turns physical and I ended up sitting down and crying. My mom just keeps going on a tangent I couldn't really remember because at that point I was zoning out. So AITA for refusing to clean up the restrooms? | AITA for not cleaning up the restrooms? | NTA |
10vlwem | am i the asshole? so this happened to me today and i’m still in disbelief. i (18f) tutor a kid that lives in my aunt’s condo. since it’s not that far from my house, when my parents can, they take me there and back home, and when they can’t i’ll grab an uber. usually my dad takes the car so i’ll call an uber to get there and my dad will pick me up. today though my dad didn’t take the car and instead left it home with my mom. since i’ll usually grab an uber to get there, mymom offered me a ride and i happily accepted it. during the car ride my mom told me she might pick me up late (i end the classes about 19:00 and she said she might pick me up at around 19:15). so after my class, i waited for my mom at my aunts apartment. it was 19:36 when my mom called me (already pretty upset) telling me she was already there and that i had to hurry because she had to pick up my dad. so in a hurry i left my aunts house, grabbed the elevator and walked all the way up to where the cars wait (it’s about a 5 minute job). i got in the car and she started yelling at me asking me what took me so long and why i wasn’t waiting outside for her already. mind you, whenever my dad picks me up, he’ll come inside or call me beforehand so i know when to get down. i told her that i didn’t know what time she was going to come so i expected a call from her when she was getting close, considering she told me she was going to be late (i had raised my voice at her and i understand that was wrong). she started yelling and telling me i NEVER knew when to admit i was wrong. she said i should’ve been waiting outside as soon as i was done giving the class because i knew she was coming and doing me a favor. she said that it was my job to call her and ask her where she was and then wait outside because that was common sense. i told her that i would have to wait outside in the cold for 36 minutes instead of waiting in my aunts house. i also said that i knew she was going to be late but i didn’t know HOW late so i couldn’t just wait outside and guess when she was going to come. she always tells me that if i’m going somewhere or going to meet someone I have to let them know when i’m coming so they’re prepared and not just show up, so whenever me and my dad pick her up we have to wait at least 30 minutes for her because we didn’t let her know beforehand. so i was in serious disbelief when she started yelling at ME and telling me that I never own up to my mistakes and accept that i’m in the wrong. i just don’t think i’m wrong this time. i could’ve done things to avoid the situation but i shouldn’t be held responsible and blamed for not doing them. i think she’s the one that doesn’t know how to own up to her mistakes. | AITA for not calling my mom before she came to pick me up | NTA |
10vocle | Someone sent me (40M) (I have a very similar email to my friends) a threat towards my friend's sister (45F). I called my friend (who for the rest of this story I will call Laura), and she (42F) told me that I was making it up, so I physically came to her and showed her the email yesterday... still thinks I'm faking it. Today she has threatened to take legal action against me for telling her that someone threatened her sister (had her address, phone number, name, private photos, etc.) Now, I can see her side in this, as I have done some stupid shit in the past, but that was about 20 years ago - this is something I would think someone would take seriously, which is why I brought it up to her. So, given the situation, AITA?By the way, please do not go easy on me. This may be my first post but I wanna know if I am truly the asshole or not. Thanks! | AITA For reporting something to a friend? | NTA |
10vo91z | I (Male) have been dating my amazing girlfriend for around 3 months. This girl is seriously my world and I wanna spend the rest of my life with her. She told her parents about us around 2 months ago. I however have not told mine. They are very quick to judge and they’re strict. I’m just trying to protect her but it really bothers her and makes her sad I haven’t told my parents because I think she thinks I’m trying to hide her. I don’t know what to do because I’m scared to tell my parents but I hate hurting her feelings. AITA? | AITA for not telling my parents about my gf? | NAH |
10vkms5 | This isn't the first time I've needed to travel on that date (this trip is somewhere between a vacation and an obligation, because I will enjoy the trip, but my sister could use a hand with her son and I'm more familiar with the destination). She is paying for a fair chunk of this, but not everything, so while I will spend money, it's not taking a lot out of family resources.I've been telling him about the likelihood for months, but it just registered that I'll be away on his birthday, which is at the very end of August, and a time when various scheduling conflicts are rife. We have occasionally gone away for his birthday, and I'm of course not planning to ignore the momentous occasion of his turning 58, but he's very upset that I will not be here on his birthday this year. He hasn't tried to "forbid" me, but there's a lot of carrying on and I think he's being silly. I have made it clear that I am not regarding my birthday as sacrosanct, and if he wants to go away by himself (which he keeps threatening to), that's entirely his own business.There is no way to move the date, and his big day is right in the middle of the trip. | AITA for traveling on my husband's birthday. | YTA |
10vukiz | I'm sorry for any weird sentences or mistakes, Eng isn't my first language So, basically. Me and my close friend (f and nb, 21 and 23) were in this online community for gamers and stuff. Most of the ppl there were women so we were comfortable. That until the admin of the group started being passive aggressive towards me. It was jokingly at first so I didn't pay too much attention, but the admin came to me and said that I was being too flirty and behaved like a bitch in heat. I wasn't offended, mostly confused since the admin also behaved like that but was, yk, trying to come off as a cold hot girl. She wasn't. I told her that. We disagreed. Then she came to me again with the same argument. I left the community but I wanted to return since I like the other ppl there (only my friend knew about the situation). I tried to talk to the admin, helped her understand that her behavior is just her being toxic to herself. She opened up to me and I discovered that she had a trauma. We talked more. Ig I wanted to help her because I was like her too. So... She said that she understands now and will work on her trauma without being hostile to others.A few days later I asked if I could return to the community and she said that her friends, other mods, didn't like the idea of me being there bc I was toxic — I wasn't , really. I cursed a bit, but not on her or them. She blamed me for the situation and said that it was my sensitivity that led to this problem, she also blamed me for being too friendly with everyone in the group. So I decided that it isn't worth it and blocked her. My friend, being aware of the situation, said that they will leave the community as well. And they didn't. When I asked why — they responded that I am being manipulative and toxic bc I make them choose. And this whole argument didn't involve them and they will stay and will communicate with the admin.But is it really toxic that I don't want my friend to be close with the one who slut shamed me?Mind you, we didn't have sex — just really flirty and suggestive.EDT: thank you all for being honest. I'll apologize to the friend for this. I didn't really think about it another way. I see how it felt from the outside now. | AITA for wanting my friend to stop being friendly to the ppl who offended me? | YTA |
10vuj55 | So I 15m let my friend 15m borrow my school laptop charger in English last Friday. He typically asks me during English class to borrow it and I do and he usually gives it back to me after class so I don’t have to ask him. Last Friday we were playing a game in English since we finished our work and I forgot to ask him for it back no biggie I had it at 100% anyway and I figured he would give it back to me on Monday. Well come Monday and I asked him where it is and now he is claiming he flat out doesn’t have it. I told him that he was the last one who had my charger and we argued back and forth but I didn’t want it to turn into a fight so we stopped there but I definitely know he has it. It’s fine if he took it home with him by accident cause that happens. I’m just confused because he is the only person who usually ever asks for my charger and no one else has. So I told my mom about it and she said I am too nice and need to be assertive. Also side note, me and my friend have been friends since Kindergarten but grew apart and are in different friend groups and don’t talk much and I am scared of confronting him and he is kinda bold and loud and I am scared he is gonna start getting mad at me and getting agressive and it turning into a full blown argument cause that’s what I feel like will happen since he can be like that sometimes. But WIBTA for trusting my gut instinct and going up and confronting him for this? I know that for a fact he was last to use it but I am just scared about how I should go about this. What should I do? note: I have always been a nice non confrontational guy I have not ever been assertive and I feel like I might be a pushover and I will always forgive him no matter what. We are human and make mistakes, I just want my charger back. | AITA If I try to confront him? | NTA |
10vpjj5 | I don't currently work due to my mental health problems but I do pay rent (in the process of being diagnosed with bipolar while already having severe depression and anxiety)So I am expected to cook, clean, wash up, tidy, do laundry, put clothes away and tidy bedrooms including my mother's as she doesn't pick up after herself. I don't have many issues with this as I understand with her working and me being home every day but if I have even one day where I struggle to just wash up, I'm made to feel like I've failed. The constant loop of cleaning and not even managing to get out and do things because I'm so panicked about getting everything done so I don't get the silent treatment or condescending comments has started to drain me even further than what my mental health problems are. Because of this I've started to resent my mother. I've found myself not caring about what she has to say, how her day went or if she asks me a question it boils my blood. I don't know how much worse it will become but I want to know if maybe its expected? Or maybe like you guys might understand why I feel this way? | AITA for starting to resent my mother? | NTA |
10vpay4 | Ok so for some context, I don’t exactly have the best writing skills so my fault if theres something that doesnt make sense. But my boyfriend and I been dating for almost 5 months now, in November or October last year my friend was telling me about this girl I should be worrying about because she was trying to go for my boyfriend. (keep in mind we are already dating between those times) And a week ago, my boyfriend told me about her and it sounded kinda familiar but I didn’t think much of it at the time. I realized who she was and I didn’t like her even more after that. Now the next day after he told me, me and my friend were talking about it and she had told me some stuff that he was doing with that girl. Lets say it was him being extremely super duper friendly to her flirting with him. Now of course I got upset, not jealous. I wasn’t jealous because I was more disappointed than jealous and upset. Now believe me, I have trust issues due to past experiences and people constantly mistreating me. So I ended up talking to him about it and we talked and I thought it was good, right? He told me he wouldn’t interact or talk to her at all. Okay well today I saw that girl walking with her friend and her friend was carrying a box of one of my favorite candies, Ferrero Rocher. At the end of the day my boyfriend gave me 2 of them and at the time I hadn’t even had time to think about what I saw this morning. I got in the car, ate them and then thought about it. I text him, “where did you get those candies?” “A friend” “which one?” “(class name), (girls name)” “I hate you”. I’m mad at him even more because my friend, the same one who told me to worry about that girl, told me that my boyfriend was talking to her. He was whispering across the class to her, walked up to her and was being super friendly. I don’t even know what to think now, it just makes me sick that he lied to me and I genuinely wanna throw up that chocolate. (Edit: I would like to say he has been blowing my phone up texting and calling me from all his accounts, his number and even his sisters phone. I think im wrong for not giving him a chance to talk but im too upset) | AITA for overreacting about my boyfriend giving me a gift that was offered to him by a girl i dont like | NTA |
10vrbpl | I recently just switched schools to go to a new highschool and I’m friends with this one girl (Sofia/not her real name) Sofia has three other friends who I never really fit into, but they weren’t rude and neither was I, even though they left me out a lot even if I tried to join in. About a month or so I told sofia that I felt like they were leaving me out and she was like “oh ok they’re just like that sometimes” and I was like “uh ok” a few days later she sends me a message about how she spoke to them about it and they all collectively agreed that I didn’t click with them, and that they think I’m different from them, but that she won’t change the way she is with me and that she thinks I’m a great person but I’m just not like them and that I shouldn’t take it to heart. I continued to walk with them even though friends (that I don’t go to school with) all said that I needed to find new friends and move on. And I really wish I had listened. Recently she has been talking very rudely about those same friends and tried not to say much since she could’ve just went around and told them and I wouldn’t know (which she did and I’m glad I was prepared) the only thing I said was that they were slightly rude and disrespectful towards others and she agreed but I said nothing more. Anyways a few weeks ago she sent me this paragraph about how her friends feel uncomfortable around me and the fact that I don’t like them. I responded back saying that I never felt this way? And she said well it seems like you do. All I said after was the only small problem I have is that they are very loud people in places where it’s quite obvious you should be quite but I had no problem and I had only mentioned it to her about two times. She had continued to bring up the fact that I thought they were too loud. She finished by saying that they would prefer if I go away during lunch because they don’t feel comfortable around me, mind you I mind my business and I’m just on my phone the entire time. I don’t know if I I’d anything wrong but I really like to know. Even though I don’t want to be friends with them anymore anyways. But was I wrong for telling them how I felt and is it bad that I feel that they are just collectively trying to be “mean” to me? I’ve never purposely done anything to make them uncomfortable I always smile and say hi even if I don’t engage in a conversation. Not looking for advice per say I would just like to know who was in the wrong here | AITA Did I mess up by telling my friends that I felt they were rude a disrespectful | NTA |
10vtuxj | so i have a really important science final coming up, it's the end of the semester and we haven't taken any other tests, so this could make or break my grade. my teacher has created a very long kahoot with everything we need to know to study from and a vocab packet that is for points. on top of that, she has assigned several other minor assignments that are also due the day of the final.​however, the vocab packet is extremely long and filled with words we don't need to know the exact definition of, just the general concepts. i can't not do it because the packet is worth points.​i had very limited time and many assignments to do for biology, along with a project from another class that was due the same day as my biology final. i wanted to be able to finish the project in time, as well as finish studying for the final, and i know that my teacher doesn't actually read our assignments when grading, she just makes sure they're done. so i did the vocab packet very messily and quickly (it was maybe eight full pages of straight writing - handwritten, so it took even longer). my mom came in and started yelling at me because my handwriting was so messy. i had spent the weekend working on my project and studying the kahoot, along with other homework/extracurriculars. she then questioned why i had not done the vocab packet over the weekend so i had time. i tried to explain to her that i wanted to study the material that would be on the test, not the vocab packet which would not have helped me very much and that i had a lot of work to do. she yelled that it wouldn't have taken very long and i should have done it neatly. i tried to explain again, but she cut me off. i was very stressed out about the finals, and i believe at some point i began crying and started raising my voice at her out of frustration. it turned into a screaming match.​i sometimes have issues with controlling my emotions. i feel like this could have been easily avoided if i had not raised my voice. my mom also does a lot for us - she works full time and cooks meals for us every day. she's probably under a lot of stress, despite not showing it, and i feel like i'm just adding to her stress. my mom says i need to stop being disrespectful and start doing my work properly and took away my phone (i hate when she does this, because she never takes it away for a set time, and just gives it back when she feels like it, which could be months to even a year sometimes later. music is a huge part of me, and listening to music makes me really happy. it's not the phone itself that makes me angry, it's the fact that she has no regard for what i feel, especially when it's been months after the argument).​essentially, i feel like my mom is being extremely unreasonable by getting mad over such a small thing and punishing me for it, but my mom feels i'm being disrespectful and slob (probably because i'm adding to her stress). aita? | AITA for getting into a screaming match with my mom about a homework assignment? | NTA |
10vts7k | It’s not a long story. I know it’s not common for a 14 yr old to be writing on Reddit like this but please hear me out. My parents, mostly my mother, would always show more affection towards my brother than me, but I tried to get over it and managed. Something like this happens a lot and I’m starting to wonder if I’m the actual problem, except that today I didn’t hold back. Well, my mom cleaned the entire house while we were out for school. I thanked her for it, he didn’t. I thought that would be the end of the story, just to join dinner for another one of my mom’s just saying bullsh*t to me. She kept telling me how it took her hours to clean my room and in the progress of telling me my room was horrible called it some names and it was very irritating. I knew the room didn’t deserve any comment like that. My brother had caused some trouble in the house, but I was somehow also responsible for it. So I told my mother that if she keeps talking to me that way I’d never clean my room again. She doesn’t know this but I’ve also had kind of a bad day, and I was already frustrated. She’d always blame it on my puberty and I’m now thinking I’ve did something wrong. So far they’ve shown no signs of regret. They keep making up arguments to justify themselves. That’s the end of the story, but I want to know if I’m the jerk… | WIBTA For yelling at my parents? | YTA |
10vl70y | alright here's what happened please forgive me grammar is not my strong suit so parent wants there 10 year old to learn how to ride no prob I have a mule her name is Millie, Millie is 20ish she tolerates everyone loves me and my fam. Millie won't go faster than a gaited trot with kids. so the parent comes over and hangs out and brings her kid everything is going good I get a halter and a pair of clip-on rains tell the kid to hop on kid says no I'm not riding without a saddle and bridle I says oh you know your tack have you rode before kid says yes so I get my hackamore it's bitless the bit is the metal thing that goes in the horse's mouth or mule, in this case, the kid says he is not riding without a bit parents tell me to put a bit on my mule ok fine I put her in a snaffle bit its the one she came with she doesn't mind it at all unless you are yanking on it hard like really hard I tell the child this and he says ok I won't do that I help him on tell him how to stop Millie and tell him how to make her move we are doing warm-ups I put down cones tell him how to maneuver thru them as a control lessen he starts yanking on the bit really hard I tell him hes pulling too hard and to stop her he does he got off i got on and shown him how to ride explained what i was doing on riding Millie he rolls his eyes at me gets back on starts yanking on the bit really hard again after serval warnings and corrections I tried telling him what hes doing is going to get him bucked off 20 minutes later after telling him to correct the yanking several more times and demonstrating how to ride Millie... Millie had enough she stopped I told the kid to get off he said no I said then ride properly he raised his voice and said I dont have to listen to you bitch he yanks on the reins and gives Millie the cue to go, Millie, rightfully so bucks him off he is not hurt physically no damage just his pride he goes crying to parents his dad is pissed his mom comes over to me and asks what happened I told her everything she gets her kid and says to him you didn't listen and you got bucked off that's on you his dad comes over ready to pick a fight his mom shut that down real quick I feel bad am I the asshole I could have said we are done and pulled him off but I didn't I let it happen edit i just found out kid is 15 not 10 he looks 10 | AITA for letting a kid get bucked off my mule. | YTA |
10vt4gr | I (17 f) have a best friend (17 f) Julia and we both have a mutual friend (18 f) Margo, but my bff has know her longer than I have. Prom is still a ways away but since I’m always late buying my dresses this year I wanted to get ahead of everyone else. I was talking with my two friends about dresses and color and style ideas one day at school and the following weekend I went out to get a dress with my mom. I got a dark red dress with a cowl neck line and high leg slit. I sent pictures of it and the other dresses I tried on to my bff and she agreed that the one I ended up getting was the best and we briefly texted about silver heels and jewelry to go with it which my mom and I had already been looking at together. Fast forward to this next school week and my bff is at a doctors appointment so I’m hanging out with our friend Margo at school alone. I remember that I haven’t shown her the dress I got and showed her my pictures and talked about the silver heals I might get to go with it. At the time I didn’t notice anything off and we had been having very good conversations before and after this dress was brought up. Fast forward another week and I hear from my bff that Margo was upset that I got the same dress color and was looking at the same heal style she had talked about the week prior to me purchasing the dress. Apparently out of all the colors we had listed between the 3 of us the dark red she had brought up was the one she had been looking into the most and she had other friends steel her dress ideas the last 2 school dances so when I showed her my dress and heal ideas she thought I was trying to do the same. Until my bff told me about this I didn’t even connect the dots between my dress and the color Margo had been describing. I had tried on every blue, red, and green dress that looked as though it would flatter my body at the store and got the one I liked the best. Even Julia didn’t think about that conversation when I showed her the dress I got and as I already stated. My bff told Margo this and apparently she is no longer mad at me. I texted her to apologize and ask to talk to her face to face but she only responded “it’s fine” which we all know means it’s not. I started off feeling really sorry and sending her lots of apologies, to wanting to get a new dress, to wanting to tell her it’s just a dress color and to get over it, to almost saying I’ll help her get an even better red dress for herself. I’m over thinking everything right now and don’t want to loose a friend over a stupid dress. It’s not like I was trying to steal her idea or one up her which is why I think I’m so upset that she is upset since I don’t understand why this is as upsetting as it seems to be to her. I could also be over analyzing things. So aita for getting the same color prom dress my friend wanted? And what should I do to make things better? | AITA for getting the dress color my friend wanted and not thinking it’s a big deal? | NTA |
10vx06d | Hi l'm 14F. My mother is 48F and my father is 46M. | grew up in Western Canada but both of my parents are from the East. My mom was born in Montreal and my dad in Antigonish. For any Americans it's kind of like me being born in Idaho, my mom being born in Vermont and my dad in Maine.So they both had moved to our province (Alberta) and met there. They married in 2007 and as of December 2022 officially signed their divorce papers (separated in Feb 2020). The custody arrangement is 50/50 legal custody and we originally spent every other weekend at his house. Problem is back in April 2022 he moved back to Antigonish. So while the original custody arrangement is still in place we don't see him the amount we're supposed to.Yesterday my mom tried to get us new passports and although even with more legal custody she'd still need his signature, she couldn't get us them because he hadn't signed. And it will be like this with so many more things in our life simply because they're custody arrangement isn't set up properly. My mom says she doesn't want to fix it but it's annoying for me. I don't push her on it but I want to know if realistically l'm an asshole in this situation? I'm just worried because it's my life too and their drama affects me enough. | AITA for asking my mother to change the current custody arrangement | NTA |
10vwzsc | **I put "friend" in quotations because we've known each other for years but very recently, maybe 3 months ago, started hanging out**. A few weeks ago my "friend" "Billy" got into a but of trouble and could no longer legally drive his car so we agreed to a trade which just happened last night. It's a 2013 Buick lacrosse, a decent car. The other contents of the trade are irrelevant to the subject, namely, the car, so I'm going to leave them out as to not draw focus where it isn't needed. I arrived at Billy's apartment around 9 pm to make the swap and everything goes off without a hitch. We write up a bill of sale and he hands the title over to me. I had already made plans to trade the car to someone else for an SUV so we agreed that it might be easier to just sign the the title over to the next guy instead of him signing it over to me. He took what I gave him and cleared all of his belongings out of the vehicle and I drove it home. No more than two hours pass by and I get a message from him stating that he actually doesn't know if he could legally sell me the car because it's still registered to his uncle and that maybe it was a bad idea. Basically telling me he wants to swap back without actually saying it. He said his uncle might get passed about it etc etc which makes no sense because his uncle signed the title over to him originally. I'm almost 100% positive that he was just having second thoughts and that was the best excuse he could come up with. I told him that it's not like his uncle is going to report it stolen since since he's had it for months and asked him why his uncle would even care if he had already signed it over. He tired to continue building on that but I just wasn't buying it. I suppose it's worth mentioning that part of what I traded him could be consumed and which he had already done to a good portion. Eventually I just flat out told him that I didn't want to be a dickhead about it but a deal's a deal and I wasn't trading the car back. He then informs me that since he didn't sign the title over to me and just wrote a bill of sale that the car didn't technically belong to me and he insinuated that he'd force that hand to get it back. After that I stopped being civil and told him there's no way he's getting it back and I'd trash it before I let that happen (childish, I know. Ego came into play)AITA for not trading it back or was he wrong for assuming I automatically had to because he had second thoughts? | AITA For not trading my "friend's" car back to them | NTA |
10vwz6s | My GF (20) and I (26) have been hitting some snags in our relationship recently. We've been arguing and fighting more often then usual and it's been tense all around.She has recently just gotten back from taking a weekend trip to see her brother in concert several hours away. She had gone with a friend, lets call H (They/Them) that I don't particularly like, due to this person trying to convince her to cheat on me early in the relationship. H has since gotten in a relationship, supposedly, and my GF swears that they have no feelings for her. When my GF got back I asked if we could make plans to do a trip together somewhere, just the two of us as a getaway. She agreed.A few days ago she mentioned how she and H were making plans to hangout for a weekend again at the end of March. I asked her if we were taking pur trip before that and she said "oh...I forgot"Today just before bed we talked about going to take my nephew a present for his birthday one day this weekend and she tried to claim that this was our trip. I said it doesn't count since we aren't staying and only going to hangout for a couple hours before coming home, not the weekend getaway we had originally talked about.She got mad and started going off on how we don't have the money to get a hotel and go off together and how can I expect us to do that. I shot back with how is it that when it concerns me and her we don't have the money but when it's her and H then there is no issues at all. She blew me off, so i grabbed a blanket and pillow and went to lay down on the couch. She said I'm being petty and that she isn't in the wrong.TLDR: AITA for getting upset that my girlfriend doesn't want to plan a weekend getaway with me and would rather plan one with a friend that crushed on her in the past? | AITA for wanting my GF to go on a trip with me before her friends? | NTA |
10vq69p | So today was my last day off of work before i went back tomorrow and i spent the day with my gf triss we went out to eat i bought her a thing or two and we finally were getting ready to leave and go home after a really fun day until we are driving home and my mom calls. now a little background my mom and gf don't get along because of how my mom has seen triss treat me in the past and triss doesn't like her. Now triss not liking her are too big and too deep to get into here so i will just leave it at that. So anyway i get the call and answer it and she asked to see how i was doing wondering what i was up to i told her all the things i did today and she asked me if i was busy Friday. I told her im working friday and she said she was just wondering because she wanted to know so we could hang out because we haven't seen each other in awhile i left it at that said goodbye and hung up. Triss got a little sour after that i asked what was wrong and she said nothing i said what is it and she just said i wish i was invited i told her no plans were made and she got mad saying but if they were i wouldn't be invited because im never invited. And she started in on me about how i always spend too much money on her and my family and when i go out with them i never answer my phone when im with them im sorry, i got like four people talking to me at once i get distracted and can't pick up my phone so now she isnt talking to me. Am i the asshole | AITA for answering my phone because my mom called | NTA |
10vwy1h | So for context, my(27F) husband(Dylan29M) is from another country (South Africa), and he was born and raised in a city where it got up to 32 degrees celsius during winter. This obviously means that things used for really warm weather here, (crop tops, really short shorts, tank tops, etc.) were the norm there. Kids as young as 9 would wear crop tops and short shorts, and nobody would bat an eye.But he moved to my home-country a few years ago, and that’s where we reside. A few members of his family also live here, others remain in South Africa, others live in NZ or Canada. He’s one of the only guys my parents have approved of. I grew up really conservative so my parents didn’t approve of a lot of guys whether it be due to their race, family, or jobs. Of course, he met all my parents criteria.So, his sister(Lisa, 28F) is one of the family members that stayed in South Africa, she came to our country to visit the family. She alternates who she stays with because she can’t stay with everyone at the same time, obviously. She is currently staying with Dylan and I. The problem took place when their cousin invited a lot of family over, including some of mine (siblings, parents, etc.), but Lisa was also invited.Lisa had never met my parents before, but she knew what they were like so I thought she’d understand. Plus, she knows how I view things. Lisa hasn’t ever been the type to go against your beliefs or argue with them unless they were hurting anyone, she’s a very relaxed and open-minded person.The day of the event came and Dylan and I were getting ready, Lisa was already prepared and waiting in the living area. It was a fairly hot day, so I understand her wanting to dress accordingly but she was wearing a dress with an arguably deep neckline, and it had cut outs at the stomach area, it was around mid-thigh length. I politely asked her to go change at first, but she refused. Said it was a family event and that nobody would care, except my parents. She and I started arguing about this but Dylan was getting impatient and demanding we leave soon. At some point Lisa just said she wasn’t going and left to go visit one of her friends. Dylan has been pissed at me, and more than half the people at the event were disappointed she didn’t show up. I don’t think it was an unfair ask, especially considering the fact that she can’t expect everywhere to be like her home country.AITA?If there's any necessary info I might've excluded, just ask. | AITA For asking my SIL to Cover-up | NTA |
10vww04 | Me and my (male) best friend have been friends for 3 yrs now. We go to the same school, but He lives in a different country, so he has to go to online classes. Sometimes I don’t get time to chat with him since I go f2f (face to face). So back then when the pandemic started, he came to the same school as me (Currently in the present time I have been in the school for 16 yrs ), he didn't do his assignments on time, didn't review for quizzes, etc. Since I’m helpful and I like to help people out. I would help him do his assignments and when he doesn’t review for a quiz, he asks me for answers and since I’m kind hearted, I give him my answers in the quiz. And I always do it. Some of my friends tell me, I shouldn’t be doing that and I should stop it cause it isn’t right. Tbh, I agree with them, but since I’m generous. I couldn’t do that. So a few weeks ago, we would have exams in a few weeks. And our teachers told us what we would review for the exams and being a good student I would listen to the announcements, but when I saw my (male) best friend that he was online in discord just playing valorant and not listening to our teachers about the requirements for the exams. (Btw when they announced it, it was online, so we were in a google meet.) Ofcourse, I knew he wouldn’t listen and would just use me again. So 1 more day and exam day tomorrow. At midnight, I made reviewers,listed everything, memorized important stuff, and read until my brain cells burned out. And at 11:42 pm, I got a notification on my phone and it was from my (male) best friend. The message was, “Hey (my name), do you know what we are going to review for the exams?” I decided to ignore his message and he kept spamming my messages until I had seen or replied. After a few minutes, he had stopped spamming my messages. The next day, I went home early just to call my other (female) best friend. She also lives in a different country and she also goes to the same school as me. I helped her in science since she didn’t understand the lesson. I volunteered to help her. And she got called by our teacher and she had to do the exams I had recently. So, we both said goodbyes and ended the call. After a few minutes, I got a message from her saying “Girl, I just got a message from (my male best friend) saying, “wanna help each other for the exams?” and I was laughing since he was gonna use my other best friend. I told her to reply to him saying “why? Did you even review for the exams?” and he responded with, “nevermind. Yes, I did review.” and we didn’t reply to him the same goes for him. But sometimes, I feel guilty for not helping him. So, AITA for not helping my best friend?? | AITA for not helping my best friend. | NTA |
10vickk | So my dad (M53) it's currently in a relationship with his girlfriend (F45) and have been for almost 2 years For reasons I dont have clear, she has been living with us (Me, my dad, Grandma (F78)) for the past 9 months They have what I consider a Toxic relationshipShe's very jealous, to the point where she has my dad with her Location turn on 24/7She can't stand my dad's coworker (F43) because she thinks she's the other woman (Wich is not, (F43) it's really nice and married, I've known her for the last 4 years and she's really nice, but keeps distance as my dad's friend/co worker Last week my dad's girlfriend make him so mad, he kicked her out of our house She started looking at my dad's phone, and just lost her mind when she saw my dad was texting his coworker at 10pm about something about work (He show me the conversation, it was just work related)(My dad works as an Personnel Transport Operator, the one who drives people from a point outside a city to a Factory/Company, so he has work schedule either really late or really early on the day, so it's normal for him to receive calls at 5am, 12am, etc.)They fight so bad, she even went on and use my grandma as a shield telling her she just wanted a faithful boyfriend, that he didn't care for her, she started screaming to my dad and saying things like he was a cheater, the shittiest she's been with, that his a loser, a terrible man, etc.At some point, she even started talking about things that have nothing to do with the problem and just called my dad a poor operator with no futureI got mad because she demanded to talk about my dad's ex's, which obviously included my momShe said that maybe they weren't worthy but she was, and she didn't deserve that kind of treatmentWhen I heard that, I just went straight to her and saidIf you got something to talk about my mom, you better say it to me, not him She's worth more than you, that's for sure, so you better tell me what's the deal and why are you saying all that She just started crying saying I was just like my dadOf course my dad was furious So at 2am, he left her at her house and didn't speak to her until know Apparently they talk and decided to give it another tryOn my side, I'm mad Mad at her and she has lost any opportunity on having a good relationship with meI can't even look at her, I'm just disappointed my dad could let her have a chance She came yesterday to apologize to my grandma for the scandal she made When she tried talking to me, I just slammed my rooms door on her face I can see my dad is sad I can't have a relationship with her But she made this, and I don't give second chances And not after what she said, and watching how hypocrite she can be around my grandmaSo am I the asshole? | AITA for ignoring and just making like my dad's girlfriend does not exist? | NTA |
10vwqa4 | Me (44M) and my wife (43F) got into a disagreement last night about acting, characters and suspension of disbelief. I have a very hard time watching “behind the scenes” type shows and content because it usually ruins the movie or show for me. She on the other hand loves watching that kind of stuff and seems to enjoy it more than the actual movie or show it is talking about. I have no problem with seeing actors and actresses out of character, but don’t like listening to them talk about specific characters or movies/shows that they have done. I think this stems largely from having most of my fiction come from books while growing up, so every character was very unique in my imagination. I obviously know that different characters are played by the same performer, and that doesn’t bother me as long as they don’t talk about “how the sausage is made” as it were. She on the other had did dance and theater in high school and college so is far more interested in the way a show was produced rather than the content of the show. This usually isn’t a problem and we can watch stuff together and enjoy it. Afterwords, she goes off to IMDB to find the trivia and goofs and I go off to find out about the characters and world lore. We also both have engineering degrees and have taught. She has taught high school and community college classes, and I have taught community college and university classes in engineering. We both obviously understand the “teacher persona” you have to adopt when teaching and the fact that teaching is very much playing a role, much like acting.Last night the disagreement got a little out of hand and she said “everyone is always playing a role” and that I was being unreasonable for expecting anyone to ever reveal their true self or true feelings. At first I tried to convince myself that she was just talking about celebrities. After trying to clarify the statement it became clear that she really meant \*everyone\*, herself included. I’ve always thought that we had a very honest and trusting relationship, but now I’m wondering what “character” she plays with me. WIBTA if I asked her what character she plays when she is with me, or if she has ever been honest with me? | WIBTA if I asked my wife if she’s ever been honest with me? | NTA |
10vpp2g | So, I (18F) have been dating a guy (21M) for 3 years, we even live together, and things have been great so far, but today we had the worst fight of our relationship. Ever since we began dating, his family has made it pretty clear they don’t really like me, specially his brother and mother. For context, his father basically called me a slut when I first met him, his mother recently called me lazy in the middle of a gathering and his brother said I was the reason my mother was unhappy (because I’m autistic and she still has to take care of me). I swear I haven’t done anything wrong! In fact, I barely even know them (they were terrible to my boyfriend growing up, so he chooses not to see them that often). What bothers me the most is that my boyfriend never defends me, he even laughed once when I complained about it and said they were like this with everyone and that I shouldn’t take it to heart. Well, I’ve explicitly said many times before that I didn’t want to go out with them anymore, and yesterday he asked me to. I caved in and they insulted me (surprise lol), so we had a small fight and I asked him to never make me go out with them again. He agreed and said he was also going to stop talking to them (for his own reasons). So imagine how surprised I was when I found out that not only was he talking to them, but that his brother called me stupid because I’m an introvert (again, I’m autistic) and he knew and didn’t plan on telling me or calling his brother out for it. Not only that, but my bf was going to ask me to stay out of a plan we had made a week ago so that his brother could go. I told him I was done and that I didn’t want to make him choose between me and his family, but he is now telling me he will never speak to them again. I really don’t want to be the reason for that, but the alternative would be breaking up! AITA?Edit: he’s not a predator, he just had his birthday and I’m having mine in march. We’re actually two years apart and were both minors at the start of the relationship. | AITA for asking my bf to take my side instead of his family’s? | NTA |
10vk6yl | I (f16) have some online friends. I met Hannah (f14) a few years ago through her sister (f16). Hannah is **gorgeous** and often gets the attention from many guys. The problem is she gives the attention back to them all & its many boys. Like 20+. She'll talk to them & then drop them. She talks to guys all over the country and even some from Mexico, Canada & even one from France. She's even lied about her age before saying she's 16-17 and gets different apps just to get more followers, more attention, and more boys. There was even one point where she had so many guys texting her she lost track of who was who. After years of listening to her go on and on and on about boys, I got fed up with her and texted her that she was annoying and that i couldn't keep being friends with her if the only thing she would text me for is to talk about different guys and she replied back that i shouldn't care what she does with her life because i live years away so it shouldn't matter to me. She told her sister about it and she cursed me out & her sister told her friends and they all attacked me, made fun of my looks, and commented on all my posts telling me to apologize.AITA? | AITA for getting mad at my friend? | ESH |
10vwgje | My good friend and I have toddlers she wants to go Disneyland Paris for her Daughters birthday. Our kids play well together so she invited me to go with her. She will be driving her van from the UKWhen 15 year stepdaughter heard about plans she got really upset because she never been and wants to go.This is why I don't want to bring her. Last year i went to las Vegas because family wanted to meet my baby. It was a time my husband could not go because of work but ask me to bring SD for the experience.So I took her and she was only 14 at this time (she looks much older for her age, tall and wears make up and can pass for 20+)While staying st my brother's house she snuck out as at night and met up with people she met online... The whole trip was ruined.. luckily my brother is a cop and his house had camera and we were able to track the car right away. She met her 21 and up online friends and when we confronted them they told us she said she was 21 and they showed us the messages. She basically met them a month before the trip and told them she just turned 21 and wanted them to take her clubbing or any night club. This was only the first night. The next day she kept throwing tantrums that she really wanted to go night clubs and she's old enough it's not fair..she goes to the pubs in the UK etc...my brother was not having it. We took her to the strip area to walk around and sight see the third day she ran away again. We had to spend hours looking for her and finally found her at outside a casino and she had a drink in her hand because she told someone she was 21 to get it for her At this point we had to just stay home because of fear she would run away again. She began to destroy some of my brother's picture frames and other valuables. We had to cut the trip short and paid extra and go back to the UK. My husband and her mom did not really Discipline her because they are scared of upsetting her. They also told me not to tell anyone what she did. They claim that she's a very sweet girl and she was only excited to do the las Vegas thing. Now I am being pressured to take her to Disneyland with me and my friend and being called an Asshole evil Stepmom from his family members because I just told want to take her because I don't have time to look for her, my brother was a cop so we had resources in las Vegas to look for her when she ran away. But being alone with her in Paris I just can't handle the stress and want to enjoy it with my friend, toddler and her kid. AITA? | AITA for not not wanting to take Teen Step Daughter with me to Disneyland? | NTA |
10vs1q1 | First post, sorry it's long TL:DR below My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 7 months. Any relationship comes with some stress, but some scenarios I can't make sense of and I don't know if it's me missing something. This one for example made me feel weird and ended in a way I couldn't really predictMy Girlfriend and I sometimes have to go to her parents. After staying and talking with everyone for a bit and playing with the dogs I usually go and play videogames with her little brother. (I'm M:20 and he's M:14.) He's surprisingly good at smash bro's, around the same skill level as me as he beats me quite often. After a few times playing with him a few times I thought it would be cool to friend him online so we can play more and practice. I asked my Girlfriend today to text him, seeing if he would want to add me as a friend to play. Her response caught me off guard saying "No, Leave him alone." Followed by "It's weird and unnecessary." I thought it was a kind gesture, after all we got along playing in person and it wouldn't be a everyday thing or anything. She re-stated he was 14, has friends his own age, and the gesture is more weird than nice. I pried a little deeper saying people of different ages can have the same hobby and that maybe she's the one looking at it weird. I was quickly told otherwise, being called weird myself, and told to drop it. I finished by saying that I don't think I'm not weird. How I just wanted to bond with her family any same way I could. This was shot down immediately with her telling me that her family doesn't like me at all. For a bit of backstory, me and her have struggled with getting her family to like me and vise versa. We are very opposite people, and go about problem solving in different ways. From the outside its very easy to perceive that we don't like each other's company.Her "adoptive" family was the exception, actually seeming happy that I was in their company. We had good conversation and; again, I got along with their son through similar hobbies. Apparently that changed sometime recently and she only felt she had to tell me now.I told her what she said was very rude and I am struggling to see anything in her point of veiw. But the conversation didn't seem like it would go anywhere so we had to drop it. I still don't know how I should feel.Thank you so much for reading TL:DR belowI played videogames with my girlfriend's little brother, after asking to add him as a friend online, I was called weird and later told her family doesn't like me anymore. I don't know if related or what happened but the Convo felt weird. | AITA For Trying to play Videogames with GF's Little Brother? | NTA |
10vih5y | I, Jessica 23F have an already rocky relationship with my mother 50F. A couple of days ago her and her bf Daniel 48M got into an argument (I am not sure how the fight started as I was not there. All information is from my brother Sam 19M and mother). During the argument he called Sam useless and disrespectful, called my mother a b word, a cheater and said I was useless and ungrateful but he did not stop there. Daniel also said "Jessica will spread her legs for any N word (but said the word) around. Her boyfriend should get a DNA test on their son because there's no way he's his real son." Me and my boyfriend (Jackson) 22M have a 2 year old son together and we conceived a month after Jackson returned home from the Military. Jackson is the only man I’ve been with. Daniel thinks that my best friend (Liam) 22M and I had a sexual relationship while Jackson was away and that my son is a result of that. (To put race into perceptive everyone in the story is white excluding Jackson, our son, and Liam). Liam and I have been friends for 11 years and I view him as a brother, sleeping with him is the last thing that has ever been on my mind. Liam has had a crush on me in the past but I have always made it clear to him that I will never be available to him and he accepted that a long time ago. I want to add that I live with my mother while I finish college and Jackson and I plan on moving in together after. Daniel also lived in this house until this argument occurred. Liam has only been over to my house a handful of times and only in the living room other than one night when Jackson myself and Liam all drank together, and Liam slept in my guest room. I have never been in Liam's house and we always meet in public (I do this on purpose because of his past crush on me, he has tried to make moves on me in private, never while me and Jackson were together, so keeping it public is the best way I could think to keep things platonic in his brain without losing my best friend). I have never slept with him and never will, and I have never reciprocated any feelings or misled him. Jackson and I know that our son is his, Jackson trusts me and knows that I am not the kind of person to do these things. My mother wants to let Daniel back into our lives and I am not okay with it. My mother kept us all in a very toxic household with my bio-father and doesn't know when to walk away. I cannot forgive Daniel for calling me a slut, questioning who my son's father is and calling Jackson the N word and also just using the word so casually. I told my mother that if she took Daniel back I would move out and would not want to see Daniel or her (for not sticking up for me). I think I am the a\*\*hole for making her choose between us and basically telling my mother what to do. I don't want to never see my mother again because she does do a lot for me and is all around a decent mother we just don't get along the best. | AITA for giving my mother an ultimatum? | NTA |
10vjdlm | I (31F) live in the same apartment building as my grandmother (86F), dad’s mom. Grandad died when I was 8, she never remarried and has lived alone in her very small 1 bedroom apartment ever since.My aunt, her daughter, has tried many times having my grandma move in to the spare bedroom in her house, but Grandma is very stubborn and doesn’t want to leave the apartment she has lived in for the last 30y. No one blames her. We just worry an elderly woman is living alone.About 4 years ago, she adopted a couple of cats, brother and sister, spayed and neutered. They are very mellow and sweet, very gentle and lovely, and have always been low energy pets.About a year ago, grandma’s apartment got broken into while she was on a weekend trip. A few days after, she adopted a 3mo male puppy, Max, at a street adoption fair. She was convinced that if she had a dog, it would have barked and avoided the break in.It was the famous Brazilian caramel dog! They said the dog wouldn’t grow too much. Boy, they were wrong. Max grew to be the size of a border collie. Since it’s a small apartment, he has zero space.Grandma only walks the dog once a day, for about 15 minutes so it can go to the bathroom. When he has to go again during the rest of the day, it goes on the puppy pads spread out around the place.Also, he’s very badly trained: he keeps jumping on people who visit, scratches us with his big nails, barks nonstop unless we give him attention, bites as way of playing, destroys furniture and shoes to let out anxiety and terrorizes the poor pair of cats, that spend all day hiding on top of the washing machine cause it’s the only place Max doesn’t get to them. The moment they put one paw on the ground, Max wants to play catch and runs them all over the small apartment. They only come down at night, cause that’s when grandma takes the dog into her room to sleep.We tried reasoning with grandma for the last whole year: we suggested professional training, hiring people to walk the dog a few times a day; I even volunteered to walk him. Grandma said no.A couple weeks ago we heard from a member of her church that she told them Max tripped her on one of their morning walks, trying to chase a random dog. Grandma is a small woman, she doesn’t have the strength to hold him back. And now I can’t even try to help, because I just found out I’m pregnant and it’s a high risk pregnancy.I check on her everyday with calls and random drop ins at her place. Me, dad and aunt have been discussing what to do, because it might not be Max fault he’s badly trained and have this much energy, but unfortunately he’s a danger to my grandma, and the topic of maybe rehoming him came up. We know she would never agree, but if we just go and take him, there really isn’t much she’ll be able to do to physically stop us.So, would I be the asshole if I agree to this plan and help them rehome the dog against my grandma’s wishes? | WIBTA if I rehomed my grandma’s dog against her wishes? | YWBTA |
10vj5b2 | I (36 M) called in at a small-ish pub for a quick pint and a bite to eat with my fiancee (31 F) on our way home from a day out.When we sat down, there were pair of women behind us with a baby and another young girl aged approx. 7 or 8. They were chatting away happily enough, and we didn't pay much attention - my fiancee and I were just talking between ourselves and enjoying our food.About 10 mins later two men arrive and join the women. One of them is obviously a bit drunk and is complaining that he hasn't seen his child all day, and starts talking loudly and obnoxiously about their friends and family and how annoying they are etc... He picks the baby up and starts singing to it to put it to sleep - fair enough.A bit later on the two women leave, leaving the two men to look after the kids. All seems to be well until the 7 or 8 year old daughter started playing with some cushions on a sofa in the pub after she was asked not to. The dad starts shouting super loudly at the kid and calls her a "fucking idiot", which obviously wakes the baby up. When the baby starts crying, he blames that on the 7/8 year old - "look what you've done now" etc...Next, he starts asking her about something that happened earlier in the day where she had not done what she was told by one of the two women (presumably mother or stepmother). He said "I want you to tell me what happened, and don't give me one of your fucking bullshit stories".Both me and my fiancee couldn't believe what we were hearing. In my mind this is just plain abusive behaviour from an adult towards a child, especially of that age. I was actually surprised that the friend he had with him didn't say something to pull him up on it.We got up to leave at this point, and for some reason I couldn't stop myself from asking him why he thought it was alright to talk to his daughter like that.Needless to say, he absolutely lost it. He handed the baby to his friend so he could square up to me, and asked me if I was a parent (I'm not), and then told me because I'm not a parent I have no business commenting on how others raise their kids. In my mind, that's irrelevant when the parent's behaviour is as shitty as his. If he's prepared to talk to her like that in public, I seriously worry what he's like with her behind closed doors.Luckily, it didn't end up getting physical, and me and my fiancee walked off and left the pub after a few back and forth insults.So, am I the asshole here? Should I have just left him to it? Was I right to confront him and question his parenting? My fiancee definitely thinks I didn't handle the situation smartly, and I keep playing it over in my mind to see what else I should have done. | AITA for telling a stranger off for swearing at/bullying his daughter? | NTA |
10vofus | I M(20) am sharing a dorm with my roomate, as part of a 6 person suite. One of my roommates, however, is constantly so loud on the phone. I don't have any issue with him making calls to people (as I myself am on the phone to my girlfriend pretty frequently as we're long distance) however he refuses to use his airpods/headphones. He is a pretty loud person as it is, but when he puts his calls on speaker at full volume it's so much louder. These calls sometimes last hours as he plays video games with his friends/girlfriend. This is frustrating to me because I always try to be respectful to him (for example, by being quieter when I know he's sleeping or taking my calls outside when it's early in the morning) Lately, however, he's gotten so loud that my girlfriend can hear him over me, despite my microphone being right by my face- this makes it hard for us to spend time together like watching movies or shows because she can't hear anything except his conversations. We are both long distance so, unfortunately, the only way for us to spend time together right now is on call. This means I spend most days in the common area, spending hours on an uncomfortable sofa so he can remain in the room and I can watch things with her. Last night, when I was trying to get some sleep, I finally asked him if he would mind wearing his airpods, to which he agreed and I hoped that he would continue to do so in future. Instead, I've now noticed there's a degree of animosity between us and unfortunately his calls since then have remained on speaker. Lately, I feel like I have no escape from it because some of the other guys from our suite have started using the common room to also take their calls on speaker. This makes me question whether I'm overreacting to a normal thing. I just can't imagine doing that myself and subjecting people to my conversations. I wouldn't mind it as much if he'd just wear his headphones so that the volume isn't essentially doubled but he never does. I don't want to take further action before I know whether or not I'm in the wrong, so AITA? (Just to be clear, when I am on the phone with my girlfriend we are typically just watching shows together and talking at a low volume, if at any point I'm being louder with her I take it outside) | AITA for asking my roommate to put some earphones in. | NTA |
10vizqo | My bf (37) has a group of friends and they like to go to shows, drink a lot, and partake in certain things that I (32) can't be around that due to my line of work and I also just don't really want to be around certain illegal things. We met at a show and have been dating off/on for almost 2 years. Since I can't be around that stuff, I don't choose to hang out with them as a group much. I used to be not so great and wanted to always be around if he was out. He complained a lot about never going out to the clubs with them and specifically without me (because I didn't always want to go). I felt like an asshole and I realised that it's not my place to dictate that so these past few months I changed my tune and said I didn't care anymore, for him to hang with them as he pleased. However, instead of him doing that I found that he has been complaining saying I'm controlling (even when I've told him to go ahead) and has made me out to be terrible. He also has a temper and blows up over small things to the point I get scared. He says mean things like "I hate you" and calls me names -him acting this way is partly why I just gave in and said go ahead and do whatever (in hopes he would stop his tantrums and just go and leave me alone...) but instead he continues this hurtful behavior and doesn't go do anything... Instead, he just keeps making me feel like I'm an asshole. AITA?AITA? (I didn't really know what to put as a title so sorry if it doesn't totally align with this)edit: adding a reply to commentsTo leaving him: I have before (we've been off/on for 2 years) but his friends would always come up to me when I was out to the point I either didn't go out for a while or just ended up getting back together with him because they wouldn't leave me alone. He also resorted to bullying me online. For clarification, I did block him on socials before when this happened but he made a throw-away or had his friends do it for him I guess. I also had random numbers messaging me saying "wrong number but let's talk anyway..." which I blocked, found strange and now guess it might have been him, I don't know.\^I think this is part of why leaving him seems hard. I feel like I'm still going to have to deal with him or his friends after and it's overwhelming. I have since, gotten off of all social media and don't go out much at all anymore so maybe it won't be as big of an issue. | AITA for not wanting to be around a particular type of crowd? | NTA |
10vkcct | Pretty self-explanatory, I feel. My downstairs neighbour (?f) moved in about 6 months ago and has a male visitor around most, but not all evenings. Shall we just say, I know a little too much about the intimate areas of their relationship due to a loud headboard and even louder vocal cords. I didn’t notice at first because my nearly teenage daughter slept in what is now my bedroom until one day she brought me into her room to witness what she had to put up with most nights. I swiftly swapped rooms with her because I felt that if one of us had to be exposed to that, it would better be me than her. I have adapted my nighttime routine to include music and earplugs (neither of which reliably drown it out) and I’m getting to the point where I just wish I had said something sooner. I get woken up by it on the weekends too.I don’t want to embarrass her but it’s getting really unbearable now. Should I post a note in her letter box? She’d know it was from me as I’m the only person who shares an adjoining barrier with her. If so, any suggestions on how to delicately put it? | WIBTA if I sent a note to my downstairs neighbour about their bedroom antics? | NTA |
10vvljj | so I ( Nb15 ) am of mixed race, my father is mexican and my mother is white, I am white passing. My father was deported when I was young and I did miss out on a lot of the culture I think would’ve shaped me to be a more well rounded diverse little rat. K so a month ago my friend Layla had a party, it was her birthday and we all went to some rando’s house, laylas mothers side is hispanic and a lot of my other hispanic friends were there, we were joking around throwing insults and calling each other the B slur, W slur, S slur all hispanic slurs ect and this guy from school Daniel ( m18 ) walks up to me and tells me i need to stop saying those things, daniels kind of known for telling people what they can and cannot say, i’m all for putting people in their place but i explained my parentage and their races and he got all pissy and told me white passing people can’t say slurs and specifically told me I am white, daniel is a POC and ig i can see where he’s coming from but he’s not even hispanic he’s asian, we’re arguing back and forth and he tells me i’m white again and I explain everything again like i’m talking to a baby and say “ yeah i’m not the right color for you i get it, ever heard of a punnet square d*ckhead i didn’t choose this “ daniel shuts down and hasn’t spoken to me since. Maybe calling him a d head was too far but i was fed up, so AITA? | AITA for proving someone wrong and calling them a d head | ESH |
10vlp4j | Hi everyone! This will be long. I am 22, and my husband is 23 — we’ve been together since i was 16. We live with his grandmother in the basement and pay no rent or bill, but pay our to our wi-fi bill, groceries, storage, phone bills, and fully support ourselves. His grandmother basically provides the roof over our head which ofc i am extremely grateful for. Within the basement is my husband, myself, and his mother. She is an undocumented immigrant but is also an able 40YO, right now she has no job, and is not looking for a job at all, because she is focusing on her “mental health”. Which really just encompasses her not having her papers in America. Her days consist of laying on the couch, watching tv, and eating. I think she needs a job, she can be a nanny or something— just money to provide for herself. I just graduated uni and have an entry level job $42K, with student loans. My husband is still in school and works part time. Things are tough for us financially and we are trying to save for our future: car, an apartment, roth ira, etc. Id also love to get my masters in within the next 2 years. The recent issue has been groceries. We have a $400 budget for food each month which also covers me making my lunches at home some days. Simply put is it wrong to ask his mom to get a job to contribute toward groceries? I don’t think a $400 budget is enough for 3 people to eat meals for a month. | AITA for asking my undocumented MIL to get a job if she wants to use our groceries? | YTA |
10vi6q4 | My girlfriend and I live together. We had planned to do some activity on a Saturday morning, which required us to leave our house by 8:30am. I am the type of guy that can get ready in 15 minutes but my girlfriend takes about 1.5 hours, which is taken up mostly by hair and make up. She sets her alarm at 7am and I am a late sleeper so i usually dont wake up before 8am on non working days. I don't really see the point of getting ready so early for myself since i just need 15 minutes so I just stay in bed. She then proceeds to tell me to get up and start cleaning the house. I don't mind cleaning up but I think it should we both should be cleaning and then we can start getting ready or vice versa. The issue here is that she didn't give herself enough time to clean, only enough time to do her hair and makeup, so I'm expected to clean up the house by myself. I'm not saying I can't do anything at all around the house but to do an hour worth of chores in the morning by myself is a little too much. Girlfriend says that she NEEDS to do her hair and make up, it's a necessity so it's only fair. How is this fair if she has said and other women have said that they do their make up for themselves and nobody else, I might as well play video games or go to the gym since it's for myself too lol. This has happened more than once and I am hoping to get some different perspectives on this issue. | AITA for refusing to clean our house | INFO |
10vi6bs | I, 19M, have been dreaming of getting a motorbike for years now and last year I was very close to making it true and buying my first bike. However a week before I was due to go in and buy the bike, a friend of my partners died in a motorbike crash.They were quite close, and it was also an old colleague of mine although I never really spoke to her.Understandably, my partner was very upset and asked if I could put my plans on hold. (This was October 22) and I agreed and said I would, and spend some time to consider whether I would get one or not.Fast forward to now, I have decided I still want to get a bike for this summer. My personal feeling is that: the initial feeling of grief has passed now, and that the girl who crashed would not have wanted that to persuade anyone against getting a motorbike.I mentioned everything to my partner and she said I was being inconsiderate and a terrible boyfriend. She gets upset every time I mention it and it’s impossible to talk to her about it. It’s just been a dream of mine since before I met her and I’m finally in a position to achieve it | AITA For still wanting to get a motorbike despite a friend of my partners dying in a crash recently? | NTA |
10vv6ct | I love this little sh*t to bits but I can tell she isn't happy and isn't doing well with us anymore. A few months ago we moved across the country with two cats and two dogs to try and make a better living. Everything was going okay until Thanksgiving when my male cat got out and haven't been able to find him.It's been hard on us but it's been even harder on our other cat. All she does is meow the moment I walk in the door until she's in my lap or eating. She has to sleep on my chest, stay on the edge of the tub while I'm bathing, and will even follow me out when taking the dogs for a walk. As for eating... She gobbles like she's never seen food and she'll break into the pantry any time she has a chance. Just yesterday she got into dried mashed potatoes and ate until she vomited (including bits of plastic). I feed her wet food in a slow feeder 3 times a day to mitigate some of it but will still try to steal food all the time.I was hoping she'd take more of a liking to the dogs but she just bops out Boston any time he tries to play with her. My SO has tried playing with her in his spare time but she just avoids him. All she wants is to be glued to me. I don't know what to fo for her anymore. The vet says she's healthy. I work all the time and my husband is in school so I can't give her any more attention than I already do. We thought about another cat but that's it's own set of headaches.The only thing we could come up with was to give her to a coworker who was looking for a second cat to be a companion to the one they already have. They're coming tomorrow for an introduction and to see if she'll be a good fit for them.She's a little terror but I love her to bits. It's killing me to give her away but I want what's best for her. Would I be the asshole by giving her up? Is there anything more I can do? | WIBTA if I give my cat up? | YTA |
10vi4gf | Honestly couldn’t figure out what to title this because its so absurd. I live in a house with 6 other roommates. Today after coming home from class I walked past my 2 roommates in the living room and went upstairs to take a #2 in the bathroom. I finish up and walk back downstairs to log on to my work laptop. As I’m walking downstairs the elderly father of our landlord is walking up the basement steps freaking out shouting something in broken english about not using the water. Apparently he had been there to fix our sink leak and had turned the water off in our house. None of my roommates mentioned that he was here or in our house group chat. Landlords dad is currently draining the flood but there is solid poop that may be left on our basement floor. This has happened in our house once before and one of my roommates disposed of the poop himself by scooping it up out of the sewage and throwing it away but this was before the landlord(s) came to deal with the issue and it happened while the water was on.My roommates are telling me that I am obligated to clean up the feces after the basement is drained because its “mine” . AITA for refusing to do this and telling them that its the landlords responsibility to make sure its cleaned? | AITA for refusing to pick up and dispose of feces from a flood in my rented house. | YTA |
10vqkvl | Background. Both my husband and I are penny pinchers. He does a better job at pinching, so naturally I'm the spender of our relationship. On our trip. I saw some really nice leather wallets that I wanted to get him because his is about 2 years old and threads are already coming off. When he noticed what I was doing. He kept telling me he doesn't need it and it's too bulky. Finally, he stormed out of the store when I went to pay for the wallet. The wallet was $60. He usually spends about $20. We are not rich. But we are not poor either. We can afford a few trips out of the country every year. When we got back to the car. He continues to throw a temper tantrum saying that I was an AH and did not respect his wishes. I got fed up and said. When someone buys you a gift, you're supposed to thank them. AITA? | AITA for buying a present for my husband | YTA |
10vv1ed | I used to live in hawaii and moved to texas about 4 years ago. Ever since I moved here, I made it clear that I wanted to one day take them with me to where I lived. I told them how I wanted to see her genuine and first reactions to everything. They came from a less fortunate upbringing, so I wanted them to experience things outside of their every day life.After two years, she moved in with us due to a failed marriage. I tried to be there for her. Constantly bought her snacks, offered advice, gave her space or company whenever she needed it. Played games with her and did everything I could when she was feeling down. She did nothing in return, but that didn't matter much to me. I just wanted her to feel better. I would constantly talk about what things we could do and the hopkups I could get with my family that live there when she would have the money and free time to go (meaning it would be cheaper).This past christmas i popped into her room to tell her that we're visiting hawaii again for this coming christmas and she's invited. Once again talked about how we can do a bunch of things she's definitely never done before because she's never been to hawaii. She finally says she can go and I got so excited to see her experience these things for the first time. I've been planning this for years. Today, I just found out that she planned a trip with her friends to go to hawaii in the summer and recently took the time off for it. Without me. She's still planning to come for christmas but I just feel unreasonably upset. I've been planning this for years and invited her each time I went but she never had the time nor money. Now she does, but she's going with her friends first. I want to be happy for her, I really do- but I'm just frustrated. I wanted to see her reaction to everything for her first time. And I'm pretty sure I'm being unreasonable. Any thoughts?Edit: thank you everyone for commenting. I needed some logic and reasoning to calm me down from my mild baby-tantrum :) | AITA for not wanting my sister-in-law go on her trip? | YTA |
10vhqwt | My father in law has been battling with alcoholism for a long time and after a few decades he has relapsed.The last few years he has basically been perma-drunk and he will have moments of being sober a couple times a year. It never lasts longer than a week or 2.As long as I have known my husband (almost 4 years) his father has been like this. I remember several months into the relationship he vented to me about how stressed out his dad was making him and he cried to me about it. The last 4 years he would routinely go and check on his father when he didnt answer his phone. Each time he had to prepare himself to walk in and find him dead which of course is horrific, no one should have to do that for their parent. Frequently his dad answers the door to him in his underwear and my husband has had to help him put pants on before. I didn't manage to even meet his dad until a couple months ago when he had one of his sober moments.Anyway he was on a 2 week streak of sobriety and then he rang my husband, who then put it on speakerphone. We realised he sounded a little "off" so my husband asked if he'd been drinking. He said "only a couple glasses of wine". I was so frustrated I just sighed and went "Great." He heard that and went "excuse me, 'Great'?" And at that point I honestly just flipped. I started telling him how he can't just have wine because he's a GD alcoholic and I am sick to death of him hurting his son like this. I yelled, I know I yelled but I was at the end of my rope. I wasn't just going to act like it was OK.So the next day his dad rang up my brother in law. He was ranting about how I don't even know him so how dare I say anything about this. I quote "that girl has been in this family 5 minutes and I don't know anything about her". He doesn't know anything about me because I couldn't talk to him for 2 years due to him being off-his-face drunk all the time!So now he hates me and is going to make sure to tell any family members that I'm an interfering bitch basically.I think I did what was normal in that situation but his aggression and clear contempt for me has worried me that maybe I overreacted. I'm also scared that other family members will see me the same way.I understand alcoholism isn't something you'd wish on your worst enermy and it's a disease. However he repeatedly shows he doesn't want help and I am sick of watching him make his family miserable. He also has plenty of money for help and has gone to rehab before multiple times. He now refuses to go back. AITA for going off at him like that?TLDR; I yelled at my FIL for relapsing again and refusing help and now he thinks I'm a complete bitch. | AITA for yelling at my alcoholic FIL? | NTA |
10vj4mx | My daughter (10) participated in her school play this year. She was in one scene that was about 5minutes and had 2 lines. They did 4 shows total, 1 during the day for the school on Thursday, evening performances on Thursday and Friday, and an afternoon performance on Saturday. I recognize that for an elementary school performance, it was a lot of show times, and the play was about an hour.The first night she was a complete mess- panic attack, tears, etc. The second night was fine, except that she tripped backstage and hurt her leg (it was a little dramatic, but ok, bruised is bruised), so after the show she was a mess because she got hurt. By Saturday she was a complete zombie in the morning (didn't sleep well Thursday or Friday night), but was ok when we got to the school and she did her performance fine. She's been a complete zombie since, including barely eating. She's an emotional mess if she's awake, or she's just been sleeping. She went to school today and told me she had to step outside for air a few times to get through the day, and she barely ate her lunch.She's mentioned a few times she wonders what they'll pick next year, and which parts she'd hypothetically want if it were x or y show (mom, wouldn't I make the perfect Meg if they did Hercules?).I want so badly to say something like, maybe it's not a good idea next year, or anything like that. While I don't want to discourage her, I just can't imagine how many more days of her zombie state we'll have, but I'm already stressed and I can't imagine this all over again, hypothetically. It's like having a depressed teenager, and it's not good.So, WIBTAH if I didn't encourage thinking about jext year's play, even though it's an entire school year away? | WIBTA if I told my daughter I didn't think she should participate in her school play next year? | YWBTA |
10vuery | I, 14 year old F, have a friend, who I will call B. We have a pretty good connection and I enjoy having fun with her, but me and her best friend, who i will call E, do not get along. The other day I was texting B when E responded to my story, which was a baby photo of me, and told me it was an ugly baby. I responded with “shut up”. And E continued to harass me and text me. I tried to lighten the mood by making a Memoji (an apple character) of E as a joke. E did not find this funny an accused me of being racist by using the wrong curls on there hair (for context E is black). This was in no way my intention and I tired to make E as accurate to the memoji as i could. My friends B backed them up so I apologized for offending them. The next day E responds to another story of mine of a cute dog I reposted and says “ew, ugly dog”. I didn’t know how to respond so I randomly asked if he’d seen the scream horror movie series. Which he responded to be saying “are you kidding, of course I have. Do you think I’m not allowed to watch it because I’m black?” I was so confused, how did we even get to the topic of race? I thought he was just f-ing with me so I said “just answer the question” and then my screen time went up. A few minutes later i got a text from B saying “if you keep this up we can’t be friends” I asked what she meant and she said i implied something racist onto the question I asked E. I don’t understand how they got to this conclusion. Is this some weird joke? Did I say something racist? Please, let me know. And just in case anyone was wondering, yes, this was the whole conversation. And I confirmed with B that E got offended over the “scream” question. | AITA for being “racist” | NTA |
10vi4me | Hi. I’m a mom to a 10mo and my grandfather and I have always had a shit relationship. I cut him out of my life when I was 18. He played a big part in my parents, divorce and treated my mother, me, and my sister, like garbage I have been verbally abused by him. My dad stopped by today to give me a gift for my son and mentioned that it was from my grandfather and they wanted my son to have the same toy that I had growing up. Apparently it’s rare and grandfather paid a lot of money for it (don’t care but my dad had to point it out) I’m honestly repulsed by the fact that they gave this to me and I’m very frustrated with my dad because he knows how I feel about my grandfather. I have not spoke with grandfather in 4+ years. I’ve explained why I’ve cut him off to my dad, and I’ve explained to my grandfather why I wouldn’t be around. I’ve made it clear to my dad that I don’t want my grandfather seeing my son, meeting him, seeing pics or anything. And I just feel very disrespected.AITA if I send it back to their house (their address is on the package/gift) what would you do?ETA: the toy is not the original I had as a child. It’s like a replica/similar one. | AITA for wanting to send back a gift that my grandfather sent my baby? | NTA |
10vjhxs | I(18f) get picked up by my father (48m)from school twice a week. This occurs during his work hours as he is a medical delivery man . As he drives me home, he usually delivers medications and does his job en route, so it takes usually two hours to drive me home. I honestly don't have a problem with this. However I do have a problem in which the whole car ride he puts on a podcast-like audio in which he likes to hear. This ranges from sports commentators who like to yell (especially since the volume is high) and police vs citizens arguments ( i am not of support of police). This is extremely agitating as i hate feeling overwhelmed with loud noises. My parents both know this as i have cried (due to feeling overwhelmed) multiple times since a young age whenever bands or artists sing in restaurants. I combat this by playing games like papas donuteria at a loud volume. These little games continue as he puts his podcast louder while i play mine louder. However i feel conflicted as it is his car, during his work hours. But at the same time, i feel like he is being selfish. Aita for one-upping him? | AITA for one-upping my dad? | ESH |
10vtm45 | So I 15m let my friend 15m borrow my school laptop charger in English last Friday. He typically asks me during English class to borrow it and I do and he usually gives it back to me after class so I don’t have to ask him. Last Friday we were playing a game in English since we finished our work and I forgot to ask him for it back no biggie I had it at 100% anyway and I figured he would give it back to me on Monday. Well come Monday and I asked him where it is and now he is claiming he flat out doesn’t have it. I told him that he was the last one who had my charger and we argued back and forth but I didn’t want it to turn into a fight so we stopped there but I definitely know he has it. It’s fine if he took it home with him by accident cause that happens. I’m just confused because he is the only person who usually ever asks for my charger and no one else has. So I told my mom about it and she said I am too nice and need to be assertive. Also side note, me and my friend have been friends since Kindergarten but grew apart and are in different friend groups and don’t talk much and I am scared of confronting him and he is kinda bold and loud and I am scared he is gonna start getting mad at me and getting agressive and it turning into a full blown argument cause that’s what I feel like will happen since he can be like that sometimes. But WIBTA for trusting my gut instinct and going up and confronting him for this? I know that for a fact he was last to use it but I am just scared about how I should go about this. What should I do? note: I have always been a nice non confrontational guy I have not ever been assertive and I feel like I might be a pushover and I will always forgive him no matter what. We are human and make mistakes, I just want my charger back. | WIBTA if I directly confronted him? | NTA |
10vtcmw | I know this may sound weird but my friends keep doing things to me and another person and i want to know if my feelings are ok.I have a friend group of 5 (including me) and we have been friends for a long time but recently they have been being different. One of them invited me to the movies she told me that i was the first person she invited and that she was unsure if we could go or not and that she would get back to me, she never did. She went to the movies with a different friend we will call these people E and K (E invited me). E said that she did not take me because inly 1 person could go and and this was the first time K was allowed to go anywhere so thats why she chose to go with K. I later found out that my other friend A was with them. Me and the other girl in our friend group, i, have been being left out a-lot recently so i was not surprised and i just assumed they did not want to hurt my feelings but they keep doing it. Every weekend the 3 of them hang out with me and i. They send us pictures and talk about it in front of us and every time me and i have said anything they tell us that we are lying. Recently me and E went on a trip out of town with her mom, for the first half of our trip E was on the phone with K and would not talk to me until there was no service and the call disconnected this made me upset but once again when i said something my feelings were dismissed.Im sorry if this was just a lot of rambling but i needed to say it and i want to know if they really are being mean, or if this is just petty high school drama and me an i are overreacting. I would also love for advice on what I should do. | AITA for being upset with my friends Or am i in the right? | NTA |
10vgpec | About a week and a half ago I was walking my dog when a tiny 9lb friendly doggie came running up to us. His ribs were showing, he smelled absolutely awful, had massive fleas on him, and had huge scabs on the inner side of his ears. I picked him up and brought him home with me where I gave him two baths, treated him with flea medicine, and put medicine that i had leftover from the vet I'm his ears. My dog and I played with him for a while before sending him off on his way. A few hours later, he was scratching at my door. So I let him in and let him spend the night since it was around 30° outside. He seemed to have been a stray for a while even though he was sweet and friendly. For example, when we went to sleep, he came up to my side but then just sat there and wouldn't lay down. When he started falling asleep, his head would droop before he finally surrendered and lied down. To me, this indicates that he's used to staying vigilant until he simply can't keep his eyes open anymore. He has since stopped doing this. The next day I let him out again but he came back. Also happened the following day. Since then, I've kept him in my house. It has been a week since I have claimed him. Yesterday while I was at work, he got out, my roommate chased him down and brought him back to our house. During this time, he heard a little boy say something like "that's my dog." My roommate says he brought him back to our house because the previous owner was not taking care of him at all. I prettymuch agree with him. I am torn about whether or not I should give him back to his previous neglectful owner. So I've come to trusty reddit to ask y'alls opinion on what I should do. | AITA for keeping my neighbors dog? | INFO |
10vo10r | My high school friend (21F) and I (20F) hadn’t seen each other in a while since we go to different colleges but had the opportunity to go to a concert near our hometown (about a 15 min drive) together this past weekend. I was really excited to reconnect and also hear the band live. She agreed to pick me up and I offered to pay for parking. The day of the concert comes and I get a text from her 1 hour before she was supposed to pick me up and she says that she had a long day at work (she works in the food industry) and is too tired to drive us there safely and asks if I can drive instead. My sister took our shared car to run errands since I said I wouldn’t be needing it so I unfortunately couldn’t drive us. She then asked her parents if they could drop us off and they agreed. I also asked if she had enough energy for the concert/would like to rest and she said she could recharge in the car and over dinner. We eat dinner and wait in line and everything seems fine. We’re catching up and it was fun. However, 30 min into the concert (8:30), she tells me that her legs hurt and that she is tired and wants to go home. She said that she already contacted her parents and that I could either drive with them back or take an Uber home (my family members were all busy at the time). I ended up leaving with her and am definitely thankful for her parents to drive me back, but am upset to miss a majority of the concert. Even if I stayed, I would not feel comfortable being at the venue by myself and waiting for an Uber (which would also be pretty costly since everyone would be calling one).After that event, I have been responding to her messages as much and am upset because I feel like she shouldn’t have agreed to go with me if she knew she’d have a long day at work or she could have told me earlier if she couldn’t go. I’m addition, I don’t want to meet with her again because I am worried she will flake on me. Another time when we went to a concert together, we left a few songs early to beat traffic but didn’t miss the majority of the show. Others say I shouldn’t distance myself from her because she may be going through some things that I am not aware of or she is burnt out and I need to show empathy but I don’t know why she didn’t tell me prior. | AITA for being upset friend wanted to leave concert early? | NTA |
10vkwzv | I broke off my engagement with my ex about a month before we were supposed to go on holiday with our friends. He was kind enough to let me still go even though he was the one who paid my share. I couldn’t pay him back at the time but I told him I would asap. He did tell me not to and I think it was his way of apologising for what happened between us.Once I had enough money saved up to pay him back, I transferred it to his account but he sent it back. I tried to insist but he wouldn’t take the money and was pretty upset that I tried in the first place.I finally found a way to give it to him when he invited some friends, including me, over for dinner. I took the money and put it in his room. He found it once everybody left and now he’s angry with me because I won’t take the money back He said he doesn’t want me to pay him back as the holiday was a gift from him and he threatened to transfer the money back to me if I don’t come and take it.All of our friends think I should just take it back and let it go but I feel like paying him back is the right thing to do.AITA? | AITA for paying my ex back for the holiday he took me on after our breakup even though he told me not to? | YTA |
10vsxu8 | PART 1:My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now, but I have known him for 3 years and we have been on and off. Our first relationship was terrible I was highly depressed and he was very sweet in the beginning but began drifting off and being extremely cold to me and rude. None of us were emotionally available as he has never been in a serious relationship and I had just recently left a toxic, abusive long relationship of about 3 years. We tried again but it was the same thing, he was great in the beginning but became uninterested and very cold. We are now on our third try and I would say final try for me at least, and he has improved greatly but we are still not where I was us to be after so long. He promised he would stick by my side and try his hardest for me as long as he could since he thinks we are perfect for each other. Again the relationship went extremely well during the honeymoon phase but fizzled out a bit but I think he is far better than the last times. He has still never said he Loves me which I find really odd and when I ask him about it he just tells me that he doesn't really know what love is. I feel like I am a really selfless and thoughtful girlfriend, I always make sure he is okay, I cook for him, when he is sick I am there for him, I buy him flowers, I show him off and praise him, and I always express myself to him when I think he looks great or how much I enjoyed our trips and dates. He is always willing to pay for meals and take me out and he always has this positive attitude. Sometimes though, I feel as though he doesn't value me or put me first which I know can be selfish to ask but I really want the person who I want to marry to always respect me and listen to me and be the best version of themselves. Recently I expressed to him that I didn't like it when he did donuts in his car or drove fast with me in the car because he did it so often and I just did not think it was safe and plus felt a little obnoxious to me. He got mad, called me boring and said that I should be happy because he has fun doing it and "screw me" for calling it obnoxious. He also doesn't buy me flowers ever because they are "expensive" so I buy him $10 ones just so he can see how cheap they are and how easy it is to get them. He did get me flowers for our anniversary but he got them right before he picked me up and they still had a price tag on them and they were nice but it felt like he just got them since he felt he had to. For thanksgiving his family came to visit from out of state and he has a big family so it was very special to him and I knew he would be very busy. I did not see him at all for two weeks because he had his family over, I constantly complained that I missed him a lot but said it lightheartedly and in a joking matter and I just wanted to see him even for a little bit but not once did he make time for me even though he could have and we live 10 minutes from each other. | AITA for Being Sad on my Boyfriend's Birthday? | NTA |
10vsduc | Hi so i wasn’t really sure if i should post this but i have been getting some slight backlash so i guess i will seek other opinions on my next move. Me (F18) has a friend group of just three which includes me my friend we will call her H (F18) and another friend we will call D(F19). So H has this boyfriend who we will call C (M19) who is pretty cool me and him used to hang out so we were semi close and me and H have been friends since we were little and i met D Sophomore year of high school. So my mom and H’s boyfriend’s dad used to have a thing going on years ago because they worked in the same area and lived near each other but that was years ago, and now his dad is happily married and my mom doesn’t speak to him much out of respect. One day my mom told me and H that her and H’s bf’s dad used to mess around and as soon as she said it she said “don’t tell your bf” why? Because he is now married and they have both moved on it was jus we were on a topic of speaking about people we messed with . So in the morning we normally meet up before we split up and go to our classes (we are in community college btw) and normally i stay and talk with them until its time to go but today C decided he wanted to crack multiple jokes about how my mom and his dad fucked around . Now some more background info on that H told him this information a couple months ago so maybe November and he has been making jokes about it ever since i was already annoyed H had to go say something to him when she didn’t have too and she was asked not too but whatever, he has been making jokes about it for months yeah maybe the first time it was funny but now it’s overrated and i don’t want to hear jokes about my mom fucking. My last straw was when he said “Your mom might just think I’m attractive then huh I’m my dad’s twin” i instantly shut down and stopped talking H continued laughing at him thinking it was funny and i didn’t find it funny at all. Now my friend D noticed this and tried to stop them and tell them i was becoming irritated but they didn’t want to listen so i just walked off and ignored them all day, and have been getting different texts from H saying “come on it was a joke no need to get all pissy about it”. So AITA? | AITA for having a attitude about jokes that involve my mom? | NTA |
10vs4xq | So I 15m let my friend 15m borrow my school laptop charger in English last Friday. He typically asks me during English class to borrow it and I do and he usually gives it back to me after class so I don’t have to ask him. Last Friday we were playing a game in English since we finished our work and I forgot to ask him for it back no biggie I had it at 100% anyway and I figured he would give it back to me on Monday. Well come Monday and I asked him where it is and now he is claiming he flat out doesn’t have it. I told him that he was the last one who had my charger and we argued back and forth but I didn’t want it to turn into a fight so we stopped there but I definitely know he has it. It’s fine if he took it home with him by accident cause that happens. I’m just confused because he is the only person who usually ever asks for my charger and no one else has. So I told my mom about it and she said I am too nice and need to be assertive. Also side note, me and my friend have been friends since Kindergarten but grew apart and are in different friend groups and don’t talk much and I am scared of confronting him and he is kinda bold and loud and I am scared he is gonna start getting mad at me and getting agressive and it turning into a fight cause that’s what I feel like will happen since he can be like that sometimes. But WIBTA for trusting my gut instinct and going up and confronting him for this? I know that for a fact he was last to use it but I am just scared about how I should go about this. What should I do? | WIBTA if I confronted him? | NTA |
10vmomh | Some background: my (31F) best friend "Ryan" (38M) quit his 6-figure office job in 2019, was unemployed for most of 2020 and 2021, and started following his dreams of becoming a production designer/prop master for film and TV in 2022. As a result of being unemployed for so long and trying to get started as a beginner in a volatile industry, he is deeply in debt. And as a production designer he can pretty much justify buying anything because maybe it will be useful as a prop in the future.However, I also think he has somewhat of a shopping addiction? Whenever I see him he has new electronics, or tools, or designer clothes, and justifies it through some complicated credit card scheme or says he thinks his mom can be convinced pay off his debt, or that he will be making more as a production designer in the future. I think he procrastinates on looking for work or tries to avoid thinking about finding work by buying expensive things, and it stresses me out. A few days ago he mentioned that his mom came into some money and might be offering to buy him a house if he is successful in his career, so we discussed the possibility of buying a duplex together in the future.Yesterday we were at brunch with some friends and he asked if he should buy an expensive 3D printer that he could probably use to make props for work. Everyone said "yeah that sounds like fun" but I gave a definite "no absolutely not" because I know him well enough to know he just came up with this idea while procrastinating on updating his portfolio and promoting his business. Since we were with other people I didn't say out loud that it's because he has a shopping addiction and is making poor financial choices, and being overly dependent on the women in his life to bail him out, but that was the subtext. He got mad at me for being so worried about what he buys, and I also looked pretty not-fun at brunch for shutting down his creativity.I can't tell if I'm an asshole for enabling him to dig himself deeper into debt, or if I'm an asshole for not minding my own business. Part of me wants to just agree to not talk about money with him, but if we buy a house together or if I have to bail him out of something then we will definitely have to. | AITA for publicly telling my prop designer friend he shouldn't buy a 3D printer | NTA |
10vgrnl | I was in a 2,5 year domestic relationship going through a rough patch when my then partner suddenly left 6 months ago. But this is another story...We used to spend a lot of time at her mom's in the mountains so one day I came across a good opportunity and bought a small property nearby. One day we visited the property to a beautiful sunset, then we went to a nice restaurant around the corner, where we used the table cover to draw sketches, write notes and plans to eventually build a house there. She took pictures of the sketches, of us, posted them and our friends and family reacted with joy.Fast forward to now. I stumble upon her ig feed, which seems to have moved into something more 'professional' recently. She keeps past pictures of us, which doesn't make me sad or anything - I'm not on any social networks. Although, I can't help being upset by our "house project" sketch being featured there. To passers by, another item that matches her portfolio (she is an architect), to me and people that know us, an epitaph of a dream that has never been...Fair note: the sketch is not featured alone as 'work', if you swipe there are other pictures of us in the set. Still, it conveniently fits the portfolio narrative.Edit: the sketch was made equally by both of us and is not a professional work of architecture. | WIBTA if I asked my ex to take down the sketches of our would be house from her Instagram feed? | YTA |
10vfxql | Sorry for the grammar, English is not my first language. I (25F) am an international student in USA. I came with my best friend. We rent a 2B apartment together. All this start 2 months before our lease ended. My cousin (28F) was working in other state, and she was planning to move to the state that I currently live. So she ask me if she and her friend can move with us. We were thinking move in with another friend but I prioritize my cousin and her friend because of family. So we start to look for 4B apartment with no luck. Then our landlord ask us if we gonna stay and increase our rent 20%. Me and best friend can’t afford that by ourselves so we agree to renewing the lease and live the 4 girls in our apartment for 1 year.
When they move in, they don’t have a job. Start looking and my cousin were jumping for work to work because she doesn’t feel the right vibes but always complaining about money. We have fights about chores of the house all started by my cousin, she like to be in control and manage everyone.
She starts saying that she wasn’t feel ok here. That her mental health was bad so she one day she said to us she is gonna go back to the state where she was with her friend. Her friend wasn’t happy because they didn’t discuss it and my cousin said to her just come. We were worried about the rent but they assure they gonna continuous paying. Long story short they try to work but for my cousin things weren’t the same there, so they come back a week later.
At the end of last year my cousin get sick and must go the hospital twice. Everyone was taking care of her even my friend group who she don’t treat that well try to help as much as they could. She get better but then she blame not having enough money, the state and the apartment for bad vibes that make her sick. So she plan to go back to the other state in secret and take her friend. But in this case she didn’t want to follow her and prefer staying with us. She went for a 3 moths Job so she left almost all her things here. And again she was going to pay for rent $300. She said yes cause there she wasn’t gone to pay rent and transportation cause the work include it.
Now that she is there she said that she is no gonna pay because she don’t have money and don’t live here. Now the 3 of us are stuck with the rent, that is too expensive. She only talk to me because she block and scream to her friend for not following her. I try to talk to her for a solution like if she expected of us breaking the lease. Or if she is going to find anyone to sublease but she’s telling that is not her problem cause legally I never make her sign anything, so if we keep ask her to pay she can easily find a lawyer and she is gonna win cause verbal agreement doesn’t mean anything.
Everyone is in our side but she is saying constantly that I’m a asshole cousin for demanding to pay and not caring her mental health. So I want to know AITA? | AITA for wanting my cousin to continue paying rent even though she no longer lives here | NTA |
10vfx6e | I will start by saying both my parents would always work with my mom making the most and helping with the bills with my dad. My mom got injuries at work 6 months ago and has been out of work in the Pursue of suing for workers comp as they denied her case and haven’t been paying her. It’s been miserable since my mom stopped working because bills would turn off and we’d have to get new services because my dad won’t step up to pay his portion off the bill when I was paying my bill then on top everyone’s. she has no money and my dad doesn’t give her any knowing the situation even money for her medications he knows she needs to take for her medical condition but he still constantly argues about her paying bills when she has no money and he knows this. They are married living together so it would put me at having to give her money for her appointments and having her use my car because it’s electric even after I gave her my old Prius to use but she doesn’t because she can’t put gas in it. She gets mad at me, saying that I treat her like a burden when I don’t but secretly it feels that way. I myself pay my own bills on top of paying for the groceries in the house so having to on top give her my money when I don’t make nearly as much as both my parents do becomes draining. On top of this I’m guilt tripped to miss work to take her to her doctor appointments when she knows I have work. My dad with unlimited PTO won’t and he knows I work as well and doesn’t respect that or even try to take off earlier to take her to some of her earlier appointments, this leading to me having to miss work and pay or constantly have to pay to charge my car because she uses it to drive it to her appointments that are usually over 40 miles away from our house. I moved back home with the purpose of saving up to take my MCAT and for when I go to med school I can get an apartment but I haven’t been able to do that since moving home because of this. I’m constantly guilt tripped about how I should be paying bills in the house and I believe I shouldn’t because I buy all the groceries on top of paying my bills and then internet and over $100 in subscriptions that my parents also use and never offer to help to pay towards. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted of living with my parents and being guilt tripped by my dad constantly to pay his bills when I contribute on top of feeling guilted into paying for things for my mom and to miss work because take her to her appointments when when she is married to my dad and I feel that is his responsible as her husband. I really want and need help because I don’t know what to do I just feel like I’ll never be able to save up any money to take my MCAT so I can go to medical school or get my own apartment again because of this it’s already been a year and my dad constantly pressures me saying me saying I’ll go to medical school was a lie. When I’m reality I just can’t save my money because of this. AITA? | AITA for being tired of my mom being out of work | NTA |
10vkg9t | **Wedding #1**Recently a couple my husband and I are friends with asked us to be in their wedding parties. We were surprised because we didn’t know they felt that close to us, but were honored they had asked and we said we couldn’t wait to celebrate with them. We've known them for 5 years and see them 3-4x a year, as they live a few hours away. We don’t know their friends or families that well, but we’re social and get along well with everybody. We knew their wedding was in the winter, but weren’t thinking about the exact date in the moment.**Wedding #2**We just realized the date is on the same day as a wedding for very dear friends of ours who let us know their wedding date over 2 years ago. We’ve known these other friends for over a decade, vacation with them, and see them fairly often. While we are not in their wedding (they have big families), we are so excited to celebrate this milestone along side them and feel much closer to them. We also have a large group of close friends that will be attending the wedding, so we will know a lot of the people going and have an absolute blast.**WIBTA**WIBTA if we go back to Wedding #1 friends and apologize and say we can’t be in their wedding? We would still love to help organize the Bachelor/Bachelorette parties and Bridal Shower and celebrate, and we will send a gift, but we won’t make the ceremony. We feel terrible about this, but we feel like guilt is the only reason we’d be a part of a wedding party with people we don’t feel super close to.Also if we aren't the assholes and you have any advice as to how best navigate this, please share. We love them and don't want to hurt their feelings.Edit: Weddings are next winter, so about 9 months away. And yes we definitely should’ve checked our calendars first, won’t make that mistake again. | WIBTA for saying yes to being in a wedding, but then backing out due to another wedding? | NTA |
10vh0cn | A couple of weeks ago I (28F), and three of my colleagues (Abby 27F, Bella 40F and Cassie 42F) decided to go on a weekend trip. We have been working together for a year now and all get on pretty well and have similar interests.Midway through Saturday Abby felt unwell. She suspected she'd eaten something that upset her tummy and decided to go home alone.That night Bella randomly expressed some extreme views on religion and abortion. Neither myself nor Cassie had brought up things even tangentially related. At first I did worry Cassie had similar views because they've worked together a lot longer and Bella was so comfortable to say these things I assumed she knew she would be supported, but when I said ''I disagree and think we should leave it there'' Cassie agreed with me.This made Bella burst into tears. It was really weird. She continued to cry on and off for a couple of hours. She directly told us we were both going to hell, for different offenses, and so were specific members of our family for various reasons. Each time myself or Cassie tried to shutdown the conversation, as we could both see it was going nowhere and there was no convincing to be had on either side, she would cry harder, accusing us of ganging up on her and breaking her heart by ''fighting against salvation''.I have since distanced myself entirely from Bella. Her views are honestly much too extreme for me. I did not tell anyone what had happened, but Abby noticed the sudden shift. We are the only four women in our department, and we used to frequently grab dinner and such which I now decline. Abby kept asking about why shut Bella out and eventually I told her. I did not go into huge detail, just said we had conflicting moral views and I felt uncomfortable being around her now I know how she views myself and my family.Abby went to Bella to confirm and Bella went into more detail. Abby does not agree with her at all and has since iced her out too. This has caused Bella to post tirades on social media (other colleagues have shown me as I removed her from my social media), claiming we are socially ostracizing her, bullying her and attempting to pressure her to fall into our ''sinful ideologies''.Now people in the wider office space are aware of her extreme stances and a lot them are avoiding her. She came to my house uninvited and told me I had no right to discuss our private conversation with people that were not there and that I am causing her to lose job opportunities by gossiping about her...I don't think IATA for speaking up and disagreeing with her that evening, but I'm wondering if I'm TA for telling Abby and inadvertently causing our workplace in general to find out? When I first started working here last year Bella was the most supportive and helpful person to me. I had no inkling she held these extreme views and my guess is no one else had any idea either and would still view her positively if I hadn't spoken about our conversation. | AITA for telling a colleague about a conversation I had with my other colleagues? | NTA |
10vjvu5 | Story time , this morning our dog had some blood in her stool. She’s had some tummy issues in the past so we gave her a pill for GI upset we have on hand and decided to wait it out. When I took her out this afternoon there was more blood in the stool and I was worried. (This is about 4-4:20pm) I have a class at 5pm and the vet closes at 5 and is about 20 minutes away. I called my Bf bc he told me that morning he wouldn’t have anything after 4pm today and asked him to pick it up. He said he was about to do a spontaneous lesson with the director of the school of music at our college. I have class MTW from 5-6pm I have a Lab grade on Tuesday and I have my first test Wednesday. I only asked bc I thought he wasn’t busy but when I offered to go instead he turned me down. Now he’s being short and dismissive and he’s upset at me? He’s usually the first one to say we should call the vet when something goes wrong. I figured if we got the meds tonight then if it isn’t helping by in the morning I can take our dog to the vet before work. Should I have just gone myself when he said that? He seemed insistent on me going to class but is still upset. | AITA: I asked my bf to pick up our dog’s medicine when he had a lesson with the director of the school of music. | NTA |
10vjhhe | Posted again bc my throwaway is ✨ s h a d o w b a n n e d ✨WIBTA for wanting to eat somewhere different for my birthday?Hello!Tomorrow is my birthday and every year my family treats me to dinner.About a month ago, I found out I have a gluten intolerance and that’s obviously nerfed a lot of restaurants for me. On top of this, I also have a problem speaking up for myself. I try to be considerate about where we eat, even if it’s not really where I want to eat, so we usually end up eating at the same chain burger place every year. My teenage sister is really picky and my brother hates Mexican (my favorite kind). I would really like to eat at a Thai restaurant. I called ahead and the person that answered said they have lots of gluten free dishes or ones that can be made to be GF. I’m afraid my family will think I’m a jerk for choosing somewhere my siblings don’t want to eat/my parents might not like. Growing up we ate Chinese/Mexican take out but we never tried anything else. My parents and siblings eat the same thing and often don’t try new foods. WIBTA? | WIBTA for wanting to eat somewhere new on my birthday? | NTA |
10vn7hb | Every time i text this person, they get bent out of shape because i send them 5 'one sentence' texts instead of one '5 sentence paragraph.' I say they are passive aggressive and being a control freak. They say i don't understand phone etiquette. Nobody else says this to me. Nobody else seems to mind that i don't condense my messages into one long paragraph. Other people text me lots of little messages. I don't mind whatsoever. AITA for sending 5 one liners instead of one long message? | AITA for not condensing messages? | YTA |
10vptdp | I (25M) have been married to my wife (25F) for half a year now. We had our honeymoon in Turkiye and it was beautiful but she said it was too short for her because we only had 6 days there. That was also the first time we ever went on vacation together.Today we had talked about traveling and going on holiday to various places. She was excited about going on vacation again since she only ever went with her family and they never let her travel alone or with friends since she grew up very sheltered. She also started talking about how great our honeymoon was and that it was the best trip she ever had. I agreed but added that I would rather go on vacation with our families next time. She asked why and I answered that it is more fun being around loved ones. She got offended and acted like I said I don't want be alone with her and always want my own family with me (she says this all the time). I thought it was ridiculous that she got so insulted by me saying I want BOTH our families there and told her if she was seriously getting upset over something trivial I said. She said I phrased it weirdly and it is hurtful because we only went on vacation once, only for a short period of time and she has always been with her family and she wants to make memories with the both of us alone and later with our parents. I said she was being ridiculous and dramatic. She has been acting sulky ever since.I love her, I love my family and I love her family so I want to go on a trip together. How can she get upset over that? So AITA for wanting to be with both our families on vacation? | AITA for telling my wife I want to go on vacation with our parents? | YTA |
10vj4o5 | To start things off I’m the only guy in this friend group that’s straight so accusations of me liking my “friends” came up often. None of them are dateable as graycei vapes Olivia is a stoner and Evie isn’t my type and is much too needy and experienced in relationships. I was asked for advice by (E) on how to get the attention of a guy she liked who we can call pedo stache, she just broke up with her ex and immediately fell in love with pedo stache even though truth be told he is a solid 4/10 and she is a 6-7/10. She asked me how to get his attention and I told her to start genuine conversations with him and don’t just do and say stuff to get a result. I also said not to act like an attention wh*re and to slow down and take time before you rush into another relationship you don’t want (happened with her ex). She told our friends about this and they confronted me saying she said I was annoying and that I called her a bunch of derogatory names basically calling her a wh*re. I texted her about this and she told me to hold on and she’ll find out by texting them. That brings us to now where it’s been 30 minutes and I still haven’t been updated on what’s going on.Additional details Graycei has a history of getting close to people and making stuff up about them and even spread a rumor about Evie.Olivia is a massive gremlin and is always rude mean and angry but she says it’s “just the we I am”Any advice is wanted and tbh I might just ditch them as it’s something new every week. | AITA for giving relationship advice and pissing off my friends? | YTA |
10vgvjb | I 18 y.o been recently talking to girl that i really like and turns out she like me too . So she tolled me she's best friend with my friend sister and start talk a lot about her until she finally brings up about her relationship . So after few days i meet her brother (my neighbour) and told him about his sister without mention the whole story later that day the girl i like got mad at me and blocked me because the brother got mad . Am i wrong for this ? ( and also im arabe ) | AITA for telling my neighbour and my freind about his sister | NTA |
10vxl5o | I’m going to change names for obvious reasons.My husband passed away over 2 decades ago. I still considered myself a married woman. My sister has criticized my decision to stay loyal many times. She’s tried taking off my wedding ring, getting me to cheat, and mocking me. I don’t appreciate it. I’ve had friends who have tried to “set me up” but I tell them I don’t want another partner and they respect that! My sister does not.The last few years she’s been cool. Until the last week or so. We’ll call me Mrs. Smith. My maiden name was Ms.Jones. My sister has started to call me Ms. Jones like the other night she made reservations for Ms. Jones. She also mailed me a book for “(my name) Jones”The yesterday I got kinda sick of it. She came over and we were getting ready to go somewhere and she made coffee and she jokingly said “your coffee ms jones” and I got really mad. I said “don’t call me that” and she said “huh?” And I said “that’s NOT my name. I am Mrs. Smith” and she said It wasn’t my name anymore, but it IS my name. I never changed it back. I never ever will. She’s just messing with me. I don’t like it. It really hurts my feelings. I’ve told her that and she calls me that but she says it’s my fault for never changing jt.I never ever want to change it. I actually love when people call me Mrs.Smith. It hurts when she calls me Ms. Jones. | AITA for telling my sister to stop calling me by my maiden name | NTA |
10w30bw | I (31F) am marrying my fiancé (35M) next year. I am also currently pregnant and due in April. We have been chatting lately about what we might do for our honeymoon. We’ve decided that we will be bringing our baby with us as it wouldn’t be fair to leave him/her with family for a week or more and I’m sure we wouldn’t want to leave our baby for this long anyway. My fiancé has a 9yr old daughter from a previous relationship. She spends most of her time with her mother but comes to us for a weekend every fortnight. Myself and his daughter have a good relationship. She’s a nice little girl generally, albeit a bit cheeky but I make a big effort with her and do my best to make her feel welcome and at home when she’s with us. Honestly though I have no major bond with her, i don’t feel any real love for her, no matter how much I try. That’s just how I feel. But I am always kind/considerate towards her and would never be mean or nasty to her. She does irritate me though from time to time and honestly, I am glad on a Sunday evening when she is going back home to her mothers. My fiancé now wants to bring his daughter on our honeymoon also, seeing as we will be bringing our baby. He doesn’t want her to feel left out. I do understand where he’s coming from but I really don’t want her to come. I know I won’t enjoy the honeymoon half as much if she’s there. She’s not my daughter and I just don’t feel fully comfortable when she’s around. I wouldn’t be able to relax in the same way. We’ve had an argument about it now and he can’t understand where I am coming from. He thinks that bringing the baby and bringing his daughter is the same thing and doesn’t understand why I don’t want her to come.I feel like I may come across as the asshole here, but I just want to enjoy my honeymoon ! Opinions? | AITA for not wanting my fiancés daughter to come on our honeymoon? | YTA |
10w3lzx | This all boils down to my wife's father. I have a six year old son that started living with me as his primary guardian when he was three and his mom went back to school. I met my wife through work, and I also met her father, who worked at the same company in a higher role than both of us. My wife knew I had a son, but I said I wouldn't introduce them unless we became a serious couple, because that wouldn't be fair to him.When my wife did meet my son, they got along really well. I invited her and her father over for dinner one night, and her father met my son for the first time. He was weird and awkward around my son and made strange comments about his appearance (his mom is black). I confronted him after the dinner, and he made some pretty pathetic excuses. After that I asked him to not contact me outside of work matters and asked her for space.A couple weeks later, my wife told me she had completely cut her father off for his beliefs. Our relationship became stronger than ever. When we got engaged she said she didn't want her father at the wedding. We ended up both transferring to other companies. As far as I knew he was gone from both of our lives for good.My wife is pregnant and due in a month. She has already started maternity leave and has been looking for a new job to start after maternity leave because she doesn't want to stay at her current company. Yesterday she sat me down and told me her dad got her an interview for a job at our old company. She also told me she has been talking to him for a couple months and wants to know how I would feel about him knowing our future child.I told her the truth. I told her I felt betrayed and I felt like she betrayed my son, who she claimed to think of as her son as well. I told her that she would even ask me that makes her less of a person in my eyes. She started crying and asked me what kind of insensitive jerk would call the woman pregnant with his kid less of a person. I told her that was how I felt, and although the language was harsh, I felt it matched what she was asking for.After cooling off, I'm now unsure if my word choice was warranted and wondering if I was an asshole for speaking to her that way while she is pregnant and more emotionally vulnerable. I could have just said I wasn't okay with what she was proposing without insulting her character. | AITA for making my pregnant wife cry by calling her less of a person? | NTA |
10w1p3w | My (16) sister has a two year old. I love my niece but she’s a handful. My mom and sister don’t do anything if she does something wrong. Wee my sister was arrested for driving while intoxicated with my niece in the car. My mother got temporary custody but she had work and asked if I could babysit her. I said yes but only for three days as I am taking some online classes to recover credits. I also told her that in that time, she could look for an actual babysitter or have my other sister watch her. My mom got mad and said that my sister has done so much for me, she hasn’t. I don’t really see nor talk to her as we have a 10 year age gap. I told my mom that I’ll watch my niece but only for a few days and in that time she could look for someone either that or she pays me. She walked out of the room and slammed the door. She called my dad and complained that I was being a moody teenager. My dad told her that I was bound to start refusing to babysit as every time I visit(I live with my dad ) I get turned into a babysitter for pets and children without pay. My sisters are calling me an AH and that I should just get over it and help out family. I told them that this was technically my sister’s fault, and I’m not going to fail my classes from her mistake. AITA? | AITA for refusing to babysit my niece longer than three days? | NTA |
10vxoi5 | I'm gonna keep this short and sweet.English isn't my first language, on mobile.I (56m) have been married to my beautiful wife (32f) for 7 years, she's a stay at home mom for our 5 kids and she's pregnant currently (hopefully our last lol) I help with childcare and chores after work but most of it is hers (70-30 ish) u have been nothing but good to my wife and vice versa.Recently her brother (30m) lost basically everything and moved in with us rent free but he does have a job. I honestly wish we hadn't took him in... Since he's been here he's made it clear that he doesn't like me or the way my wife and I live he disrespects me constantly judges our age gap etc I was fine letting it slide but yesterday I hit a breaking point I had a particular hard day at work and when I came home I just wanted to rest so I asked my wife if she could give me an hour to recoup before I take the kids but that started a whole argument with my BIL, he said they are my kids and she's tried too so I need to suck it up and stop using her as a "bang maid" he made the kids cry so I just couldn't take it anymore and told him to pack his stuff and get out of my house. He's been gone since and even though my wife mostly agrees with me she feels really bad.I feel I am in the right but I'm willing to admit my wrongs so AITA | AITA for kicking out my wife's brother | YTA |
10vyasq | We are currently arguing over this because it’s “the first thing she found” I’ve asked her time and time again to just wear appropriate clothing out of respect for me but when I go to her house and she’s wearing short everything while there’s guest and I ask her about it she starts arguing. | AITA for asking my gf to wear more appropriate clothing when there’s guest in the house? | YTA |
10w0kvc | My puppy went missing and after searching tirelessly for days, posting on the Facebook neighborhood page, and posting flyers with a reward, a man found her, while cutting his grass. (She was tangled in some brush in a ditch next to his yard). A neighbor with a flyer - who happened to be passing by called me, and I went and picked up my puppy. I was so happy to be reunited with her! And grateful for the man who found her.I asked the man if I could come back with the reward, as I did not have it on me. The man said he wasn't worried about the reward, he was just happy and surprised to find her. And glad that she was safe.Several hours after picking up my puppy, the man's mother texted me and said they want the reward. I text her back and told her what her son had told me, when I picked up my pup.She then texted me back and said her son has a brain injury and doesn't always know what he is saying. And that she would be in contact again, to get the reward money.Edit, to add: I feel like the man was being a good Samaritan and knew what he was saying he didn't want any reward money. I feel like the man's mother is seeing this as an easy way to score some money. I'm thinking I may be the AH if I ignore the woman, since I did post a reward, even though her adult son said he didn't want the money. I am conflicted as to whether or not to give the reward to her (the man's mother who contacted me), as she is not the one who found my pup.Edit: I feel it is important to add here that I have zero problem with delivering on my reward offer, but only to the man who did free my pup and return her to me. I just feel like the mom is being shady and wants the money for herself. So I refuse to give it to her. I told her in my last text to her - that I will only deal with her son. | WIBTA if I refuse to give reward money to the mother of man who found my missing puppy | NTA |
10w390l | My girlfriend Katie made a new friend a few months ago, Mary. Katie talked about her a lot, Mary said this, did that, started teaching her something, etc.I thought it was a bit weird how much Katie seemed to look up to Mary, but I didn't think much of it until Mary's husband, Joe, entered the picture too. From then on, Katie talked about their relationship all the time. How they do things, how they divide the chores, how respectful are they to each other. Basically how they are just the best couple ever.I've met them to and they are honestly nothing special, maybe a bit on the boring side even.Yesterday evening Katie was once again going on about them, saying things like Mary and Joe are true soulmates and theirs is the healthiest relationship she had ever seen, blablabla. I had a really fucking long day at work, so I told her I don't want to hear about them. I don't care about her creepy crush on this random ass couple, but if she likes them so much, she should go and ask them to adopt her or ask if she can be their third.Katie then gave me the cold shoulder and left to go home to her apartment instead of sleeping at my place like she was supposed to. I need to know if I'm right and her obsession is creepy or if I'm not seeing something right and I'm the asshole here. AITA? | AITA for telling my girlfriend to go and ask to be adopted by the couple she is so obsessed with? | YTA |
10w3lgz | My (28F) Sister (32F) lost her husband of 3 years to cancer 4 years ago. Before he died he was very clear that he wanted her to move on and be happy, instead of wasting the rest of her life as a single widow. My sister promised him to try, and did to some extent.About 6 months after my BIL died, she started trying to date, but found it really hard. I tried gently to explain to her that it was alright to move on, and that she wasn't "betraying" anybody, but she never went beyond any first dates with guys she saw for the next few months.After that she stopped for about 3 years, which was really concerning. I tried to set her up with some guys I knew, but that never went anywhere. Than about a month ago she was seeing this really nice guy, but she broke it off after 3 dates since she "didn't feel right"I asked her why she was being like this, at this point its been plenty of time to move on, and she isn't doing herself any favors by being single, and her husband was very clear with wanting to move on. She said that she just "felt uncomfortable" dating again, to which I said she had no reason to.At this point she got pissed at me, and told me to mind my business. I told her that she's my sister, and I'm just looking out for her. I also told her she was disrespecting her late husband's memories, and that he would probably be ashamed at her for not living her life to the fullest. She left and hasn't spoken to me since. | AITA for telling my sister her husband would be ashamed of her? | YTA |
10w0fbw | Okay so, let me start off by saying I'm conflicted and am aware this is going to sound very "me me me" about a friends wedding.A high-school friend of mine is getting married, our group used to be close in school- There were 4 of us in total- P, Q, B and myself.I moved away at 16 3 hours away and all remained close, we all visited occasionally, not often but once we started college, Uni and life they too moved apart but we all keep in contact online and meet up once or twice a year if we can.We are all in long term relationships, and three of us are engaged.B gets along well with P and Qs partners as they share a very large common interest and skill set and occasionally attend events together because of this whereas I think B is only on okay terms with my partner as they are vastly different people, they haven't met more than 10 times, and there's no discourse, they just are very different from each other. (which is A-okay you don't have to be best friends with everyone and my partner gets along with P and Q well)B got engaged last year, and has scheduled the wedding for this year, super happy for him, his fiance is lovely even if we've only met a couple times. However the wedding invite has just arrived and is just for me, not my fiance and my other friends have plus ones.(We knew it was coming as we were asked to save the date.)I don't really feel comfortable going alone, I can't drive and the wedding is a day after my own anniversary, and I'd feel really crappy asking my fiance to drive me there only to not be invited, and the busses and trains are *way* too expensive at the moment to consider plus a hotel just for myself, not to mention how awkward it'd be as my friends would have their partners there and I'd be alone for a lot of it.I know my friends enough to know they would spend the entire time with their partners (as is fair, they love them) and I don't want to be a spare part on my own, I'm on the spectrum and suffer with anxiety and find social situations stressful unless I have someone who I can talk to comfortably, and struggle making new friends.Wibta for declining the invite? I'd not mention the reason as that is their right, he isn't their friend and so I understand but I can't help feel a bit awkward about it all.Edit: I will be contacting B later to ask about the invite respectfully, ask if the invite is just for me and whether it was an oversight, if it wasn't I shall just let them know I sadly can't go on my own as with my anxiety i would not cope too well with the travel and hotel which they know would be tough for me- I will send a gift with my love and hope it all goes well for them on the day.Fingers crossed that works out and I don't lose a friendship! | WIBTA for declining an invite if my fiance isn't invited | NTA |
10w42uw | I'm getting married in April! I'm F (35) and my fiancé is M (32) (not sure if that's relevant)My friend, Hannah (32), was dating her now ex-BF, Jacob (30), for 3 years and we assumed everything was going great because they seemed perfect, they talked about marriage, and lived together. However, her ex-BF Jacob revealed that she cheated on him for quite some time (for approximately 8 months). He found out and confronted her about it. Jacob got out of their apartment ASAP and cut all ties with her.My fiancé and I decided to disinvite her to our wedding because of her affair. Why would you invite a known cheater to your own wedding? Especially since her ex-BF Jacob will be attending. I talked to her one-on-one and had my words written down beforehand so I wouldn't forget what I wanted to say. I practiced what I wanted to say and met in public.Hannah got upset and believes we are in the wrong for disinviting her. She said we are embarrassing her and ruining her vacation plans because she is no longer invited. Hannah claimed that she will just attend and not interact with Jacob or cause a scene.I was upfront and told her why she wasn't invited anymore and that she only embarrassed herself by her actions of her affair. I don't want someone like Hannah (and other toxic people) to be in attendance. My fiancé and I also don't want to put Jacob in an uncomfortable situation with Hannah at the wedding. We really don't want to deal with drama or issues during our wedding.Hannah is still upset and calls us (my fiancé and I) AHs/jerks/rude for our decision. Several other people found out we disinvited Hannah and shamed us for doing so because they believe it's a celebration for us, and Hannah should be able to go.AITA for disinviting my "friend" to my wedding after her affair? Please let me know if I can provide more information.EDIT: Hannah and I known each other for about 4 years. My fiancé and Jacob known each other for about 8 years + Jacob is a groomsman (Hannah was never a bridesmaid to begin with since I have sisters). My fiancé and I came up with the decision on our own to disinvite Hannah, but we did reach out to Jacob to see how he feels. It was clear that Jacob felt uncomfortable with Hannah being there since the wedding will only have 40 people. | AITA For Disinviting my "Friend" to My Wedding After Her Affair? | NTA |
10vzgc7 | My husband and I share our house with our two young kids, dog and a lodger who rents out a granny flat type room at the back of the house. We then share the kitchen/diner with him. He works nights and because I’m off work due to long term health issues and the kids are st school, I’m often home alone with him. He is constantly making gross sexual comments such as, “if you need to come into my room just kick the porn mags and dildo’s out of your way”. Another example, he went on holiday, I asked if he’d had a good time and he said “yeah but I need to visit the clap clinic as the woman I met on the plane and banged all week has given me something”. I think I might be the asshole because I want to cancel his lease. The comments make me feel really uneasy and it freaks me out. In fairness he never makes the comments in front of the kids but does day similar things to my husband which is why I think I might be the asshole as I’m cancelling the lease just because I don’t share his gross sense of humour. | WIBTA for cancelling our tenants lease | NTA |
10vz26v | So, before and after I had my daughter(4 months old) I made it explicitly clear to the family that I did not want her face anywhere online until she was old enough to consent, so I could respect her privacy. Yesterday, I was looking through Facebook and happened to look at People You May Know, and there my daughters face is, on an account labeled with my grandmothers name. The account only has my daughters face on it, and in the people who are following account are only 5 people, 4 of them know my dad, one of them is my dad.My dad is a creep, an asshole, and an overall POS. After what he did I never wanted him to see my daughters face. This picture is one I do not have, taken by my grandmothers phone, in her house. I freaked out on her last night and she seems pretty convincing she didn’t do it. I’m thinking of going no contact with her again if I find out she did. I only started talking to her because I missed her and wanted to celebrate Christmas with my family.And I missed my dog. Now I’m wondering if that was the wrong choice.I feel like an asshole but I don’t know who to trust, and I’ve already reported the holy hell out of the profile and Facebook is refusing to remove it so my next step is contacting the police. I’m beyond livid, when I saw it my whole body started shaking, and my immediate reaction was to block my grandmother and refuse all attempts at contact with her but for once in my life I decided to have a rational discussion about it and I’m still not sure what to think. 🫠 My head is a mess, it’s 6am, and I’m hungry, and mad.Edit for more information because a few people seem to think this is on my grandmothers Facebook: this is a whole new account, with only 5 friends on the account, all people being friends of my dad, and one of them being my dad, but an old account he apparently lost. They’re following one person. The only pictures on this account are of my daughter, as a post, and as the accounts profile picture. The account says my grandmothers name, that’s the only thing it shares with her, as well as the fact the picture was from her phone in her home.Edit #2 which I just remembered sounds important: she said when she clicks on the profile it says “log in”. Here’s the quoted message from her after I sent her the link to the account; “I just hit it and it is telling me to log in”Edit: #3: so looking more into it, the account of my dads that’s “friends” with this account is an old account he apparently lost and hasn’t used since my brothers 17th birthday, so if he doesn’t have access to it, why is he friends with this new account? The posts on it were made this year in January.Edit #4: Grandmother is very incessant if I call the police to get them to call her.Edit #5: I just asked her to send me the messages between her and my aunt and uncle where she sent the photos and she’s refusing to because she, quoted from her text, “I am not sending anything so someone else can see or get it on line” so I’ve told her me and my Husband are coming over today to look at her phone and personally see the messages sent ourselves. | AITA for freaking out on my family after finding a Facebook account with my daughters face in it? | NTA |
10w2hew | While there are a lot of details, I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible and remove a lot of my personal drama/feelings to keep it plain. I (f30) and my husband (m29) just had a baby. She’s about 2 months old now. Prior to my maternity leave he asked if I wanted to go to the Maldives on my leave bc there were very good deals. I said no and made it clear I wouldn't want to leave our newborn daughter. Fast forward to now, he spent our reward points without telling me to bid on a vacation to the Maldives. We won. It’s our dream trip. I said no. He's pissed. Reasons I said no: our daughter would be 3-4 months only. It’s a lot to ask of someone else to watch her and god forbid something happens, it’s a 24 hour flight home to get to her. I also just pushed a baby out and am not so fond of my body right now. I offered we could go in the future but the fact that we would only need to pay for airfare is his argument. He "did this for us" and "had no idea we would win". I explained that I made it CLEAR i would not leave our newborn prior to even having her. He argued that he’s turning 30, things are different, etc. etc. and then asked if he could go by himself which set me off because I no longer felt it was for us. At one point he told me that I “never let him do anything”. I told him he could go but I wouldn’t be here when he got back which may have been a bit harsh. While we had a conversation about all of this and he admitted he was being a bit selfish, he maintains that he is pissed at me for not going and he does not think it’s abnormal for him to want to go by himself. If a sliver of him does think it’s abnormal, he doesn’t care. He thinks the whole thing is doable and even offered to take her with us which I denied because I don’t want to take a newborn on a plane and out of the country. AITA for putting a stop to this “once in a lifetime” trip? I would be shocked if he did not find this post so here’s to hoping this doesn’t turn into another argument.EDIT: additional info that he’d probably want me to add: I had a really difficult birth and he was a fantastic partner the first few weeks and mentioned that I’d deserve a trip like this after that difficulty.Further edit: he claimed he didn’t know the trip would have to be used before April. | AITA for not going to the Maldives on maternity leave | NTA |
10w3b9u | My (female 54) daughter (26) is living with us. She used to work as a teacher but she's on a medical leave since September last year. My husband (57) works full time in a company and I work full time in the education system as well. My daughter does nothing around the house, she only ever sleeps and occasionally walks the dog we own. She's most of her time sitting in her desk playing games or watching some show on Netflix. Still she insists on showering three times a day (morning, afternoon and night). This has become an issue for my husband and I. We have three more kids besides her but all of them are grown up and live alone, she used to live alone too before some stuff happened which made her have to move in with us. When all of our children had moved away my husband and I sold our oldest house which was big to buy a smaller one as we didn't need that many rooms. This house only has two bedrooms and one bathroom. My husband and I both wake up at 7:00 AM everyday to go to work. He has to be there by 8:30 so he showers first, I shower after him because I have to be at my work place at 9:00AM. That was our routine but now our daughter wakes up around half an hour after us and she takes the bathroom to get a shower. That means that one of us will miss their opportunity to have a shower before work. We have talked before and told her that she should have breakfast with us and have a shower after we leave as she's not in a rush. She said she needed to get a shower as soon as she wake up for whatever reason. I told her to wake up later, she told me she can't sleep any further because we make noise and wake her up. Then in the nights it's the same. We're tired and just want to have a shower, eat some dinner and go to bed after work. But we have to wait until she gets her shower first. So we approached her again and this time we told her that from now on she'll have to shower just once a day, in the afternoon, so we get to shower before/after work. She took it very badly and accused us of being assholes and using the shower as a excuse to tell her we think she does nothing all day. Our kids are on our side but the way she spoke to us made me feel very bad, it makes me think that maybe I'm an jerk. I understand that she might still be used to our oldest house which had more than one bathroom and this didn't happened but also I think she needs to understand us too. | AITA for limiting my daughter to just one shower per day? | NTA |
10w3t65 | My father got my mom pregnant in university. She didn't want me and my grandparents did. I grew up with my grandparents raising me. They did their best but I am definitely a handful and they had trouble keeping up. I wasn't a bad kid or anything. I just had a lot of energy and I should have been a grandchild they spoil not an extra kid. They love me and they did their best. My father on the other hand was kind of a dick hole. He would never spend time with me and when he graduated and later got married I wasn't even an afterthought. The cool stuff about my grandparents though was all their stuff. My grandfather has a garage full of tools. He does all the repairs on their vehicles and around the house My grandmother has antique kitchen gadgets that she taught me how to use. It was like growing up in a time machine. My grandfather helped me build my first desktop. He can do anything with his hands. He also taught me how to take care of his old car. Him and my grandmother have regular cars but he also has an old muscle car. It would not be out of place in the Fast and Furious movies. I am getting married this summer and my grandparents decided to gift me the old car. He always said he was going to give it to my father but I guess he changed his mind. I asked my grandfather what bi could do with the car. He said it was 100% mine. I could do whatever I wanted. Talked to my fiance. He said that it was a beautiful collectors item but not really something we could afford to keep. We decided we are going to have our wedding pictures taken with the car and then we are going to sell it. We have talked to places that sell these cars and we will get enough for a good downpayment on a house. My father found out that I got the cat and he is mad. He says it was supposed to go to him and he was going to keep it to give his son. I said that if he got it appraised I would give him the right to buy it. He got it appraised. He could afford it but not easily. He says I'm being a bitch and holding his past behavior against him. No shit Sherlock. He abandoned me and now wants me to play nice. My fiance says we should find a compromise because my father wants to keep the car in the family. I'm going to be honest. I don't want my father or my half brother to get this car. I would rather sell it to a stranger. My grandparents love the idea of wedding pictures with the car and then knowing that they helped us buy a house. My grandfather said it was fate that he kept the car and never let my father drive it. I have driven it. It scares me. I like my Nissan Leaf. I do feel a bit like a jerk for keeping my father from getting the car. AITA? | AITA for selling "my father's" car. | NTA |
10vz7yx | I live in Germany, my mom died and I had to go back to the US for a month. I asked a friend to hold the keys to my car just in case. She ran a red light in a construction zone which came with a 300 euro fine, a month long license suspension and a 2 points on my license. I told her I’d help pay the fine, because she was watching the car for me, but I didn’t want the suspension or points on my license. So I showed the police how it wasn’t possible I was driving. Flash forward, she got a lawyer the lawyer took good care of her and despite it wasn’t possible I was driving, the court is now putting the blame on me because I was the owner of the car. Am I the asshole for asking her to please correct this with the authorities pay the fine and take the suspension? I’m now to blame for all of this even though I physically have proof I wasn’t driving the car but because her lawyer fought on her behalf to blame me, and I have no one else to point the finger to, I am now being held accountable for all of this.Edit: I feel bad because she just got a new job that requires her to drive, but I’m not sure why I need to be responsible for her mistake. | AITA My friend ran a red light in a construction zone in my car - I reported it wasn’t me. | NTA |
10w358h | I (22f) have a very small immediate family that I celebrate Christmas with, and we always get together on Christmas Day to celebrate. Most of that side of the family (My mom’s side), especially my aunt (61f), are mostly a judgmental bunch who like to constantly point out when I look different, they’ve done this since I was about 10 years old. When I was overweight, my aunt and cousin would like to point it out. When I lost a lot of weight after high school, I was asked if I’ve been purposefully skipping meals or have an ED. Aka, nothing I do is really enough for them, they always have to find some flaw to point out. But anyways, to the point of this post, most of our celebration was going well. But, towards the start of the evening, I saw my uncle talking to my aunt and him looking hesitant before my aunt handed me a gift. My uncle said to me before I opened it, “This wasn’t my idea, it was hers”, pointing to my aunt. And what was in there, was one of those long inflatable tube men you normally see large ones of at car shops, but a mini version (Just look up inflatable tube man and it’ll come up right away). Normally I wouldn’t be so upset over a gag gift, but this one specifically hurt because I have TS (Tourette’s Syndrome), and it was really bad when I was younger to the point where I developed severe neck pain from the certain tics I had. And surprise, my aunt used to make fun of me and compare me to one of those things when my tics were really bad, and it hurt me, a lot. And I’ve said many times to her that this was one of the things that really bothered me about myself, even when I was younger.So of course, I started to cry because that’s one of the things I was extremely self conscious about. Most of my family was supportive of me and asked her why she would do that, while my aunt and my mom (58f), just told me that it was a joke and that I shouldn’t be so upset about it. So I walked out of the house and locked myself in my mom’s car and got my crying over and done with. I would have left tbh, but I can’t drive because of my TS and another medical condition. I eventually had to come back in because it was freezing and I couldn’t feel my hands after that (Another medical condition). We kinda continued as normal, but I feel like I really put a damper on everyone’s mood and made my aunt to look like an asshole in front of everyone. I’m asking a bit late because I’m still, even after months, getting extreme anxiety over thinking about this, thinking I overreacted and could’ve found a better way to handle this. So, AITA? | AITA for walking out of our Christmas celebration because of a gift I received? | NTA |
10vy787 | I (34F) have four children from two separate men: Jack (5m), Kate (6f), Sarah (8f), and Ana (13f). Sarah's birthday was in January, and her father didn't give her anything, so we had to forego some things. (Because I had just started a new work, the income was fairly low for our requirements.) For her birthday, we merely had cake and some snacks, which wasn't what Sarah had wanted; she claimed it was fine, but I could see she was disappointed. I felt terrible. Anyway, Ana just turned 13 yesterday, and her father has generously offered me money to throw her a big party with plenty of snacks and gifts, and to invite the entire neighborhood. I felt horrible for Sarah and worried that if I gave Ana a big party, she'd think I was being unjust, so I declined and told him we were okay with his regular portion. He was furious and questioned whether I cared about preparing her birthday, to which I replied that of course I did. We had a disagreement, and I ended up not responding to him. I spoke with Ana and told her everything, and she was furious. I explained how it would hurt Sarah's feelings, and she claimed she didn't care and went to her room. I understand why she was upset, but Sarah is younger than her, and I'm afraid it would hurt Sarah's feelings. AITA? | AITA for not giving my daughter a proper birthday? | YTA |
10w0wcp | I (30f) am getting married next year to my fiancé (35m) & we have planned our dream wedding. We have been together for 10 years and we have picked up additional jobs on top of our 9-5s to help pay for our wedding. Our ceremony is relatively small (30 people) of our closest friends and family with an additional 20 attending for the reception - we have not sent our invites out yet but have told our nearest and dearest the dates to save. My fiancé has 5 groomsmen and I have 5 bridesmaids too; 3 of my best friends, my SIL to be & my oldest half sister. For background info, I have 2 half sisters that are 8-10 years older than me from my dads first marriage.I did not grow up with them or see them regularly so I guess we never had that usual sisterly bond with them until I was 10 years old when my oldest sister, who is 10 years older than me, moved in with my dad, mum and I for about a year. We became very close instantly and is the best big sister I could ask for. She only lives an hour away, we talk everyday and meet up frequently - she also has 5 children whom I adore and love being an Aunty to them. My middle sister, (8yrs older) I have maybe only met a handful of times. I last saw her 2 years ago, and last contact before now was early 2022. My fiancé has never met her. We have tried to form a bond but we are 2 very different people and bicker frequently. However we would keep each other posted about significant life events and be happy for each other. When she fell pregnant she told my whole family (our dad, my mum, our Aunty and our oldest sister) but not me, which I didn’t mind but each of them had told me about it and followed with “Don’t tell her we told you, wait till she tells you herself”. I waited, excited about the news to have another niece or nephew, but she announced her pregnancy on social media. I was hurt a little but understood as I know we aren’t super close and that sort of proved it. Roll around 6 months and my fiancé proposes, I ask my oldest sister to be my MOH. My middle sister catches wind of this and is very upset saying she will never speak to me again, won’t be attending our wedding and has since blocked me on all social media platforms & my mobile number. My family has said that it’s unfair that I haven’t asked her to be a bridesmaid and that “blood is thicker than water” (which I strongly disagree with) and should have asked her just to “keep the peace”. My bridal party are very special people in my life that I couldn’t imagine not having by my side when I marry the love of my life. TLDR; I didn’t ask one of my sister’s to be a bridesmaid because we aren’t that close. AITA? | AITA for not asking my sister to be a bridesmaid? | NTA |
10w3mhc | Am I an asshole for believing "psychics" are really just scum of the earth who can look at someone in the face, and take advantage of people who have lost loved ones and apparently connect with them in the afterlife? I legitimately feel like so many people are getting taken for a ride with these people.My mother is on a fixed income and I feel as though she is being taken advantage of by people who claim to be able to communicate with people who passed away. She gets very upset at me when I try and tell her these people are taking advantage of people's broken hearts. AITA?Edit: when she doesn't have money to cover her living expenses, I'm the one who gets the shit end of the stick when I have to cover what is missing when I truly cannot afford to do so. | AITA for not believing in psychic abilities? | NTA |
10w2xbn | I have seen several posts where people agree that it is wrong to force a dress code at a wedding, so I am looking for some support regarding my Daughters wedding. Let’s call her Amy (28F) for now. My wife ( 54F) and I (56M) are very conservative in our dress and prefer traditional gender roles for ourselves. Our daughter is in a relationship with another woman , Dee, who is quite nice. We accept them and will happily attend the wedding. It took some time for my wife and I to come to terms with her lifestyle, but we have grown and value Amy( and Dee as well) in our life. The issue comes with the dress code. They say NO DRESSES OR SKIRTS allowed. Both brides will be in elegant pant suits. I suppose you could call both of them more masculine leaning. My wife does not wear pants. Never has, per our faith we believe it to be inappropriate. Amy can do as she pleases, we will not. My wife and I spoke with Amy regarding the dress code for the wedding and to tell her that my wife would be wearing a dress. Amy said to wear the pant suit or not attend. She stated that we frequently made her wear dresses as a child and teen despite knowing how opposed to them she was. She states we always claimed the dress code was the choice of the host and it was our job to wear what the host demanded. Hence for every wedding, funeral, family reunion, etc. she was made to wear dresses as our daughter. Once she became of age she could choose her own manner of dress, but when she lived in OUR home she dressed according to the family faith and values.She now states that since SHE is the host, she is setting the dress code for pants. We can either obey the host and wear the proper clothing or not be allowed. My wife is absolutely livid. I told my daughter this violates our belief and how we feel most comfortable. I put forth that she now chooses to dress how she prefers, we should be able to dress as we prefer. She stated the only way my wife can wear a dress is if I wear one too. Which is absolutely ridiculous. We are all adults, you can not force adults to violate their beliefs to dress a certain way! Are we in the right that my wife should be allowed to wear a dress to this ‘pants / slacks only’ event? Would we be wrong if she shows up in a dress anyways? | AITA Forced Wedding Attire? | YTA |
10w1axv | So I (f17) will be attending a school dance in a couple of days (this friday). I have never ever put on makeup and still think I will not for upcoming events. (I have nothing against those who use makeup, but for me, it personally and individually means that I would hide my "insecurities") Why I think this is because yesterday my mother asked me if I would wear makeup, I said that "only black nail polish", then she asked "nothing else, like...(some makeup things)" I said "no need", then she said "anything to cover your pimples?" and I repeated "no need, pimples are natural" then she didn't say anything else. But that is still something that I think, that "would it be that hard" or "it is this one time". I like how I look, even though I am not the most beautiful person out there. But I don't like the concept of covering up my flaws. (Not saying that the persons that use makeup, would use it for that reason).Also my mind somehow makes this pressure that others would use it too. Like all of my friends. So will I be the ass?The dance is same as prom? The second grade high schoolers will be dancing two times, to other students and teachers, and for our parents etc. It is to celebrate that we second graders will be the eldest of the high school when third graders will be going to reading "vacation". | WIBTA for refusing to use makeup for school dance | NTA |
10w39no | My sister (28F) and I (26F) are pretty close. We tell each other everything, Yesterday my sister said she wanted to adopt a newborn. I was confused because she is single and has never wanted kids.When I asked why she wants to adopt newborn babies and raise them till 8 or 9 then give them up saying she can no longer take care of them for whatever reason. I told her she was crazy and that she would be a horrible mother if she did that.She called me an asshole and we haven't spoken since. She has been calling all our friends and family telling them I called her crazy and said she'd be a horrible mother. Now it is a series of friends and family calling to ask why I would say that me explaining what happened and them agreeing that adopting a baby just to raise it for a short while and giving it up is wrong.This morning she called me and told me to stop airing out her dirty laundry I told her she did it first, and she asked me to apologize I told her I was not going to. I'm worried I might be the asshole for possibly ruining our relationship over this, and my wording when telling her it was a bad idea.​Edit: I just found out she had started the adoption process months prior, the only reason she told me was because she had put me down as a reference. She texted me to "give me a heads up ". She thinks even if I don't agree with her I should still help her out and stand by her. I don't think I can. It would be unfair to the child to have a mother who planned to give them up.It would be unfair to the child to feel unwanted twice. Would I be an asshole and horrible sister if I told them the reason she wanted to adopt? I'm genuinely torn. She is such a kind person, and would definitely treat the baby right. Should I just help her out? She just likes how cute babies are and wants to experience having one. I don't want to take that chance away from her.​Edit 2: She said she would raise them till they were a Pre-teen so i'm assuming around 8 or 9. She said she does not want to deal with "teenage drama" nor does she want to put them through collage university etc. | AITA for telling my sister she would be a horrible mother? | NTA |
10w4gp0 | My husband and I have been looking for a new house for about a year. We’re looking in two different neighborhoods that are an hour apart. My mom’s friend is a relator in the western neighborhood and she arranged a house showing a few months ago over there but we didn’t end up buying the house. She sent us about a dozen more listings via email but none were what we wanted so we didn’t see them. Since then, my husband’s realtor friend whose specialty is the eastern neighborhood showed us a few houses over here and talked a lot with my husband about our house search. This guy sold us our current house. 2 days ago I sent my mom’s friend a link to a house I was interested in, in her neighborhood, and she showed it to me yesterday. My husband wasn’t able to go so I went with my parents. My dad is very handy so he looked at all the technical stuff. I loved the house and since we’ve been looking for a year I know what we want and don’t want. I told her we’d like to put an offer down- they are due today at 6pm! And she said she’s not going to put an offer down unless my husband sees it first. I took pictures and videos and my husband knows the neighborhood so him and I are both comfortable buying this house with only me seeing it (and my parents). Btw we are paying mostly cash for it, it’s well within our means and our current house is about the same price so it’s not the first time we’re buying a house together and it’s not going to put us into bankruptcy or anything. My mom also grew up in the area so we’re very familiar with it. So offers are due today but my husband decided last night that he can’t go see it. Even though the lady offered to show it to him any time today before 2pm, he works and probably can’t leave the office today. So he asked his relator friend to put the offer in for us. He said yes no problem! He’ll put an offer in for us without us even going to see it. Because he trusts my husband. There’s a small chance my husband will be able to go see it during lunch now. First of all, am I the only one who finds that a bit sexist that this lady refuses to put an offer down on the house based only on my opinion? I clearly discussed it with my husband on the phone in front of her and sent him a ton of pictures and he trusts my opinion. But she refused. I feel like if my husband was there instead of me, she wouldn’t have had that policy. But moreover, what do I owe my mom’s friend? Am I screwing her over? My husbands relator said he can work something out with her (meaning give her a cut of the sale since she showed it to me first). Is that sufficient? Do I need to update her and tell her we’re going with a different relator? I don’t want to cause an issue between her and my mom.Btw, the reason she wants him to see it also is so we don’t have ‘buyers remorse’ | WIBTA if I don’t buy this house through this relator? | NTA |
10w07s9 | EDIT : Thank you everyone for your comments, I appreciate them all, even the harsh ones 🥲. It made a lot of sense and helped me understand why Id be the AH in this situation. For those wondering why Im dumb, clueless and sound like a teenager - Ive been sheltered my whole life so I have very little experience when it comes to ‘adulting’. My dad is very protective and still sees me as a child and sometimes treats me as one too. Ive also been taught that after marriage I can live a ‘free’ life and do as I please, which is why Im opting for marriage. Im still learning how to ‘adult’ before I get married because I have NO clue what Im doing. Thank you all, I have learned from this! So my (22) dad bought me a brand new phone for my 21st birthday ( on contract ) and he’s been paying it off every month. Recently, my bf and I have been discussing getting married and my dad mentioned that when I get married I will have to pay for my own phone bill. I guesssss it makes sense , since Im no longer under my dad’s care and will be moving out after marriage, but on the other hand my dad bought the phone for me as a gift so shouldn’t he continue to pay for it? I haven’t mentioned or spoke to him about it yet , I don’t want to sound like an AH for making him still pay it off. Im willing to pay it off but this isn’t making sense to me.WIBTA ?? | WIBTA if I don’t want to pay for my own phone bill? | YWBTA |
10w3zjp | Recently I've told my mother that i am not her personal source of income and to not expect me to give more than what i am willing to give. I only take care of myself as much as possible and she has said that I'm being selfish. Me, being tired of this back and forth, agreed with her and said I will deal with the consequences of my own actions when that bridge comes.My mother has 6 children excluding myself, 3 boys and 3 girls.Before she had my youngest siblings, twin boys, I had just finished high school and was in the process of choosing which university I wanted to attend. That same year she told me I will not be able to go to Uni because of financial reasons and the fact that she was pregnant and would need help. I didn't complain and tried to understand things from her pov and started looking for jobs instead so I can pay my own tuition. This was when the pandemic hit and we were put on lockdown so I was unable to find a job that would hire me. I started babysitting for a low fee during the 2 years so I could start saving. When I turned 20, I got my first steady job and was excited to start working towards my education. Two months after I started working my mother told me that she was upset and disappointed in me. When I asked her why, she then explained that a child is expected to help their parents and the household they live by making monthly contributions and she didn't expect that she had to tell me that. I get paid per fortnight and she wanted me to contribute $500 every time I got paid, that's $1000 every month. When I told her I'm no longer a child and the only reason I got a job was to start taking care of myself and make things easier for her, she threatened to throw me out. I "pranked" her, by saying I was moving out and made it realistic by packing my bags, to see her reaction. She was very upset and said some really nasty things to my father when she thought I wasn't listening, compared me to children of Asian and East Indian descent saying that they at least help their parents when they're young and other things. That was the last straw for me. I realized that talking any further with her was a waste of my time and no less than a year later I got a second job. I am now only giving her $500 contribution like she wanted but I have stopped other things like lending her money and buying items I see that are missing around the house. She constantly tries to guilt trip me by using my younger siblings as ammo. I do care about my brothers and sisters and help them out when I can but I'm tired of my mother's nonsense. | AITA for telling my mom I'm not her personal piggy bank? | NTA |
10w1wtr | I 23 F and my sister 18 F live in a country where it’s legal to drink and go clubbing at 18, we only have gone out together when ever we’ve been in luxury hotels that have nightclubs in them or gone to little local bars, this is because she wants to go to the most exclusive places and I’ve been denied entrance to those kind of places because of my weight and how I look, she, on the other hand, has been going to those snobby places from time to time with her friends (she doesn’t go as much because she moved to another city and has not made as much friends as she’d like to) while I go to gay clubs or underground nightclubs to party (in a different city).The thing is that whenever we travel (at least 4 times a year) she wants to go clubbing (ONLY to the fanciest places in town) and I’m not quite comfortable with that, I don’t want to be rejected right in front of her and experience that public humiliation all over again, AITA for not wanting to go even when it is well known that I’ll be judge, ignored and possibly be denied entrance? | AITA for not wanting to go clubbing with my sister? | NTA |
10vyngo | Me (23m) and my gf (22f) have been together just over 2 years. We have spoken about the importance of making sure we both have social lives outside of the relationship. I hadn't seen my best friend in months and we made plans to catch up. The plan was to go to a bar for food and a couple of drinks first and then go to a couple more bars and just make a night of it, maybe end up in a club. Since my gf had met my friend a couple of times before I asked if she wanted to come to the first bar to get food with us and then she could either go out with friends, go home etc so me and my friend have time to catch up just the 2 of us for the rest of the bars.She agreed and said she understood that I needed the time with just me and my friend to catch up and that she would get the bus home after food at the first bar.. When it came to the night of our plans, I noticed my gf getting dressed up as if for a full night out but didn't mention it because I didn't want to make it seem like I was questioning what she was wearing. We got to the first bar and everything was going well ad when it came to leaving the first place, my gf made no mention of going home so she came with us to the second bar and said she would get the last bus home. The second place was busy so we didn't stay long so made our way to the third bar with my gf still with us. We ordered a drink at this place and it was getting late so I asked my gf what time her bus was. She stood up and pretty much shouted that it was clear I didn't want her thre so she was leaving and not to follow her out etc. This caused a scene and pretty much ruined the night.The next day she said it was clear I didn't want her there and I pointed out that the plan was only for her to stay for the first place and she ignored me. AITAf for asking my gf what time her bus was? | AITA for asking my girlfriend what time her bus was? | NTA |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.