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10vukzw
|
Here's the story.I (56M) was helping my daughter (23F) move from Pittsburgh to her new apartment in downtown Madison, WI.The apartment building has underground parking, but the UHaul truck we were using to move her stuff was too tall to enter the garage. Because of this, I contacted the Madison parking authority a week ahead of time and purchased two "tags" for the parking meters in front of the apt building's main entrance. These tags cost $76 for the weekend and came with signs saying "No Parking by Order of Madison Police" and listed the hours that I had purchased the spots for.We spent all day with the UHaul parked in those spots while we unloaded the truck. We then drove the UHaul (it is a 10-footer) to go have dinner at a local restaurant. When we came back, there were two cars parked in the spaces - even though the signs on the meters clearly stating "No Parking" were still there. It was a Saturday night in downtown Madison and every spot on the street was taken.So I called the police (non-emergency) line and told them someone was illegally parking in the spots that I had paid for and that I had nowhere to park our truck and I wanted the vehicles towed.30 minutes later, the parking authority cops and a tow truck arrived, I showed them my proof that I had the meters reserved for the weekend, and they proceeded to start to load the first vehicle on the truck.Here's where I feel like a little bit of TA. I didn't notice that one of the cars had a handicap placard on its rearview mirror. As they had just finished loading up that vehicle on the tow truck, a man with his son (who appeared to be mentally disabled) came running out of a nearby restaurant yelling that it was their car. The tow truck guy said, "Don't talk to me, talk to him" and pointed at me.I told the man, "I'm sorry your car is being towed, but you parked here illegally and I paid for these meters so I could park my truck here all weekend. The signs are clearly visible, you had no right to park here and there's no place else on this street to park the truck."He proceeded to call me every name in the book, and said "My son is handicapped! I can park wherever I want! Why would you pick on a handicapped person! This is going to cost me hundreds!"The parking cop stepped in, on my behalf, and said "Sir, your handicapped placard does not give you the right to park in a NO PARKING spot." And then told the guy where he could pick up his vehicle (at this point, the tow truck had begun driving away).The guy yelled at me some more and said "I hope you're happy, AH!"I felt bad for the guy... I'm sure it cost at least $300 to get his car back... but then again, I don't think I did anything wrong. I paid for the spot - and handicapped passenger or not, he had no legal right to take it.Was I TA?
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AITA for having a car towed?
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NTA
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10viuye
|
To give some context, I (m31) own a few car dealerships and I have an employee (f26) who is great at selling cars but, as a person, she has made some awful awful life decisions.To give a few examples, she is an ex-felon, she gave up her child to foster care, and she has a very...unique relationship with her current-ex. I know this because he came to my dealership and cussed her out in-front of the whole showroom. I had to eventually have him thrown out and she promised to me that this wouldn't happen again.With this in mind, one day I got my little brother (m24) a job as an intern at one of my showrooms (he's a business management major and wants to eventually get into the business). He's a hard worker, great grades, and is basically the embodiment of black-excellence.Nevertheless, in the first few weeks of interning for one of my managers, I realized that he had gotten very very close with her. Then a manager of mine made it aware to me that they have started dating and that he wanted to inform me before having to inform HR (as that may lead to them being reprimanded).This whole situation has thrown me for a loop. I love my brother but this is not right. For 1, he hasn't disclosed this to HR, which is an ethical problem (as he is an intern and she is an employee). For 2, this just feels like watching a crash waiting to happen. Like I know he didn't know her past and he's got love-goggles on.With all this in mind, as their employer, I did tell him to report this to HR. During this conversation, I also asked him if he was sure he really wanted to date her. He said, yes, and I told him what I knew about her so he could make an informed decision. Now let me be clear, I did not at any point tell him that she was an ex-felon (that would be unethical). I did however tell him things what I directly witnessed or was made aware to me (and basically the entire showroom) due to situations like the one mentioned above. If it was told to me directly by her, in confidence, I did not say it. The things revealed on the showroom that day included things like adultery and etc. He clearly didn't know all of this but my wife has stated that I had no right to say anything beyond referring them to HR. I said, I just wanted him to make an informed decision.With all this in mind, AITA?​EDIT (Clarification):1. I thought a personal approach would be the best one to take here. She is on thin ice with HR. If I did report her, it may have resulted in an ethics investigation and, given her record as an ex-felon, that could have possibly eliminated her future job prospects. I did not believe her personal-life should effect whether she gets a job (given how great at this job she is). So I did not report this to HR, and instead went to him directly first and then her as well.2. There seems to be some confusion from direct messages I have received. There is a difference between telling HR about a relationship and telling HR about a code violation. I told them to tell HR about their relationship. I could have reported them for a code violation, I didn't, due to the aforementioned reasons.3. I also feared other employees telling him, which would have been even more disastrous. I don't know how long she was willing to risk it, but that could have led to some uncomfortable conversations, not to mention another incident at the showroom.4. One other thing, I believe I should mention is that the incidences are years apart. The incidence with her ex-boyfriend happened some 3 years ago and them being boyfriend-girlfriend has been something that at most probably has been going on for a few months.
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AITA for telling my brother to stay away from an employee of mine?
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NTA
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10vtaj6
|
I apologize for how long this was but the details are important(?) TLDR: My ex-wife demands I provide more child support due to her moving to a much more expensive location and I said no.My ex and I divorced in 2015, we had four kids together. I was active military and she was a stay at home mom. It made sense for the kids to stay with her, I was subject to fairly often work trips. Our state (WA) has a formula to determine child support and I offered to pay more than the state required ($1500).A few months later, I met my girlfriend on eHarmony (we married in 2017). Things went ok for the next year or so, but as always happens in the military, I was transferred to a different state. This required a change in the parenting plan, we mutually agreed (without going to court to officially change it).This seemed to work out ok. In early 2018, she (my ex) let me know she was struggling financially and was having a difficult time finding a job while having the kids full-time. I agreed to take them for the ’18-’19 school year, so she could work full-time on finding a good job. Also during this time, I continued to pay her half the amount of my child support ($750) so she could continue to keep the house. It was not easy, but I never asked her for any money during this time.Fast forward to 2020, I have retired from the military and moved back to the area to be close to the kids. Note that my ex gets a portion (27%) of that retirement for the rest of her life (which I believe she’s entitled to).From 2020-2022, things seem pretty good. I live 20 minutes away and often visit her house to help watch the kids for work or medical reasons.She lived in a roughish area, and decided to get a job in a city 40 minutes away and made the decision to move closer to her job. After the move, she emails me demanding that I pay her more in child support due to the increased mortgage. She was super condescending and demanding. I told her no, saying her decision to move to more expensive area was her decision and I was not financially responsible for that decision. She reacted by saying I was never allowed in her house ever again and that she “didn’t need me and never did.” And we’ve lived in this detente for the next year.Fast forward again to this month, and I get another email (also during my weekend with the kids). Saying she has to replace the roof of her house; which will cost $16k which she will have to finance. She requested (not demanded this time) that I increase my financial support. The email was filled with guilt trips and never acknowledges the way I’ve supported her in the past. She proceeded to give a break down of her finances. She believes I should be responsible for 40% of her mortgage, car payments, and groceries. Her mortgage is $2500/mo and one of her car payments (lease) is $540/mo!Am I the asshole for telling her I’m not responsible for her poor financial decisions? Should I offer to take on the kids full-time?Edit 1: WA state changed its CS laws in 2017(?) which if I put in the numbers correctly (not knowing her income) I think I'd owe 1700/mo. But based on her emails, she feels that wouldn't be enough.
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AITA for saying no to my ex’s request for increased child support?
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NTA
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10vjbfo
|
My husband was a jewelry designer and I was a receptionist we and met through a mutual friend. we dated for 6 months before he asked the question. My engagement ring was very special and unique. My engagement ring was an extension of my wedding ring (Meaning the 2 fits together) and the stones for my ring are not diamonds but both our horoscopes gems (mine on his and his on mine) He told me that the minute he 1st met me he started to design our rings knowing I was the lady for him. And on our wedding night, we made a promise to never take it off.We lived the most romantic life one can live and we had only one son. Unfortunately, my husband died 10 years ago. It was the worst years of my life. When he was buried he had our rings on so I refused to take my rings off.Yesterday my son called me asking if he could come over to my place to discuss something. When he came over he told me he was going to ask his gf to marry him, and to do so he would like my ring. (I love his gf a lot and think they would make an excellent pair) I was shocked and said no this is not a topic of discussion. He told me it would mean a lot to his GF and I said she can have anything out of my jewelry box except my ring.He told me that his gf has been hinting about the ring and that I can keep the wedding ring but just give him the engagement ring. I told him that from that very statement, he doesn’t understand the story and love behind the ring. That he can make one like this but he can never have this, that I am to be buried with this ring. In anger, he called me an old hag stuck in the past and if I don’t give up the ring he will not just invite me to the wedding but cut me out of his life forever.I was shocked, my husband and I did not raise a brat. The words slipped out of my mouth, telling him that his father would be so ashamed and shocked at the way his son turned out to be. Without a word, he turned and left. I was standing there for some time before getting bombarded by calls from relatives calling me a bitch for saying that and now the only way to fix this is to apologize and hand the ring over.AITA?(my son is well aware of the story between us and he has very wealthy, I can understand wanting a family ring but I have plenty of rings of all gems designed by my husband. My son is 35 years old and he was 25 at the time of my husband’s passing and his gf is 34. She is also well aware of the story behind my ring so I don’t understand why would she hint that she wants it )(Sorry for spelling mistakes my English is okay and my hands are very shaky )
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AITA for telling my son father would be so ashamed
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NTA
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10vv2u9
|
TA Since gf is on reddit.My (28M) girlfriend (27F) of four years share an apartment.Her mom left them when she was a baby, and she was raised by her dad. Unfortunately, two days ago, her dad suffered a stroke. My gf was devistated, so we both took off from work to visit him. We couldnt stay long because I have a project going on at work, and her dad lives 4 hours away. Dr saidn it was a light stroke, so I assured her he'll probably be okay, but shes very quiet and withdrawn.We drove home very early the next day. She took off from work so I dropped her at our apartment. When I got home at 4pm, I found my gf passed out in our bed with 4 empty bottles wine scattered around the apartment.I woke her up and she admitted that she bought the alcohol as soon as I left her. That she was puking until she passed out. And that she didnt want to feel pain anymore. I get that. But she had a very bad drinking problem in her early 20's. I just dont want her to relapse and was upset at her. And now shes even more withdrawn.For context: the stroke was caused by a heart disease that my gf also suffers with, so they believe its genetic.
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AITA for getting upset over my girlfriend drinking and blacking out?
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NTA
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10vr2cy
|
We have this neighbor (F17 or 18) who asked me to connect her phone to our Wi-Fi, and I think I have to block her. Also, excuse me for the grammatical errors. English is not my first language. For context, our Wi-Fi speed is 80mpbs. There are 5 devices already connected. 3 phones and 2 Smart TVs. In the evening, the internet is a bit slower because everyone is using their phones. This girl asked me last last week to connect her to our Wi-Fi. She said she needed to do an assignment, and currently, their internet is not working. This was the first time she asked me. As a fellow student, I understand what she meant. That's why I didn't hesitate to connect her phone. She said she'll remove it (her connection or the password, I guess?) in the morning. It was fine until three days later, she was still connected. My sister said to change the password, and I did. I didn't know how to block someone's device yet. That's why I just changed the password. Then last week, she messaged me again, for the same reason that their Wi-Fi is still not fixed. So I did without hesitation because it sounded like she needed to do something urgently. After typing the password to her phone, she said the same thing. She would remove the Wi-Fi or something the next morning. Then later that day, I saw four more devices (not including our 5 devices) connected to our Wi-Fi. I was confused. Then I looked into who's device is connected and stuff. Then it was her brother and her brother's friends. Her brother from before scanned the Wi-Fi from our cousin that he's close with. So he was connected to the Wi-Fi. We changed the password from that time because he would have his friends scan too. I don't want to assume that she had them scan or something the Wi-Fi QR Code(?), but it's her brother. I don't know where he would get it because my cousin that he's close with is not here anymore. My sister was pissed because the Wi-Fi was very slow, and I explained it to her. She then changed the Wi-Fi password. It's back to just 5 devices. After this incident, I learned to block devices. Then last night, she (our neighbor) asked me again to connect her phone to our Wi-Fi. I was hesitant because my sister said not to entertain her. But our neighbor said it's the last time because they'll get their internet fixed by tomorrow. I said yes. But only because I could actually block her this time. Somehow, I feel like I shouldn't block her because what if she really needs it for school stuff? I also understand why my sister is mad because she pays half of the Wi-Fi bills. WIBTA?
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WIBTA if I block my neighbour from our Wi-Fi?
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NTA
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10vw26j
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I (27F) work for a fast-casual restaurant. It's not out of the ordinary for me to sometimes get there early so I can eat something. Today was one of those days, as I had spent most of the day sleeping and thus didn't eat much. I was really craving a milkshake and a burger from my restaurant, especially since I get a 50% off discount. My coworker (40F) was already on the line, since I am her relief. I arrived 30 minutes before my shift and boy, were they busy, which is odd for a Monday. Coworker saw I had ordered something and was waiting at the bar; she immediately got pissed and asked why I didn't clock in early since she had clocked in early yesterday. I may be the AH for not returning the favor, but I don't have to clock in early if I don't want to, and I was there to eat while I still had the chance. Getting to eat while on the line is very hard since there's so much prep to do and I'm the only night cook. So, Reddit, AITA?
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AITA for not clocking in early?
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NTA
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10vtyw9
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I (f29) plan a yearly girls trip with my best friend. Since we live far apart this is the one time I see her. We had this trip planned for months, and the AirBnB she booked was not refundable. I was very close with my grandma. But it was no surprise when she passed in October. Per my grandma’s wishes, we would have an very small, immediate family headstone dedication. I texted my uncle asking how I could help, but never got a response. A few weeks later, I was told by my brother that my uncle changed his mind. Now, instead they throwing a very large celebration of life. Of course on the weekend of my vacation. I told my brother I wasn’t going to go. I couldn’t put my friend out of the money, and I didn’t want to skip a 5 day vacation for a few hour sad celebration. I struggled at my dad’s celebration of life, and wasn’t ready to feel those feelings again. I said I would attend the headstone dedication instead, as that was what she wanted and was more intimate. He was upset. We honored my grandma on our trip. We talked about her a ton, had her favorite drink, and I sat on the beach and said my goodbyes. My cousin has since unfriended me on Facebook and blocked me on Instagram because of it. So, AITA?
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AITA for going on vacation instead of grandma’s funeral?
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NTA
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10vn6e0
|
I F(15) am turning 16 in a few days. It’s not something I’m really looking forward to as unlike my two siblings (m19 and m9) I don’t get a lot of gifts, brought out to dinner, or anything special. I’m usually okay with that but when I found out my mom worked from 5-9 on my birthday I was disappointed to say the least. None the less I still didn’t want that to damper the mood. My plans for my birthday were to go to softball practice from 3-5:30 come home and watch a movie with my dad. This morning he let me know he would be attending a friend’s funeral out of state that day. He didn’t mention anything about my birthday being the same day which stung a little but I tried to he understanding. During lunch my dad turned and said to me “you’ll have to skip practice on Thursday since I won’t be home and your mom works and we don’t want brother home alone” I got upset and asked why if he was only going to be home alone for 30 minutes and has stayed home alone for longer than before. After exchanging a few words I got upset and said “I’m sorry I rlly don’t want to spend my 16th birthday babysitting your son that hates me” in a rude tone he said that it wasn’t going to work and i was pissed off and upset that I can’t even spend two hours with my friends doing somthing I enjoy b4 babysitting on my birthday. I called my mom and explained what happened as I was upset and felt unimportant but she told me that I was being over dramatic about it all and it wasn’t a big deal. Later I was asked by my parents if I was upset that my dad was not home for my birthday but I didn’t want to say yes because I didn’t want to seem like an asshole for wanting him to skip the funeral for his college friend. I’m not asking for a lot for my birthday, no sweet 16 party, no new car, no fancy dinner or cake or even any presents but I’m wondering if I’m just making a big deal out of all of this for nothing. So am I the asshole?
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AITA for being upset with my parents for their plans for my birthday?
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NTA
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10vvpah
|
I 26F live with my parents. I am feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with my parent's insistence on an arranged marriage, it is pretty common here in my country although now situation is changing and more people find their own love and marry them. But my parents are typical so the don't wanna accept the new change. I have tried to explain to them that I want to wait until I find someone I love, but they refuse to listen. To make matters worse, they have been sneaking into my room at night and checking my phone while I am sleeping, using my photo as the unlock ID as they don't know the password. I have caught them doing this several times, and it has only made the situation more tense.I have finally decided that the only way out is to move out and live alone. I know it will be difficult, as it is not socially accepted for unmarried women to live on their own in my country, when they have their parent's house available. Everyone is against this decision in my family, but I feel like it's the only way for me to gain some independence and freedom from my parent's expectations. Ps: I earn a decent amount and can handle my expenses all alone.
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AITA for thinking of moving out off my parents house?
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NTA
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10vlxxg
|
My partner (49) and I (31) live in a three bedroom flat (our bedroom, his small kids’ room (which has a kids bunk bed and is only used when the kids come to visit) and my office room). We don’t have much space here and often use the kids room as a storage room. His sister and her husband (both mid 40s) are coming to our town for ~ 4 days, because the husband has some business to do here and my boyfriend’s sister is keeping him company. I don’t really like my boyfriend’s brother in law. He barely talks to me, or even asks me any questions. I like my boyfriend’s sister, but we’re not very close and very different people. I have only seen her twice in my life - when we visited my partner’s family. My boyfriend claims he also doesn’t like his brother in law and also says that he and his sister are not very close. Important info: sister and brother in law are both very rich. So affording a good hotel is no problem. We even have a hotel next door.My boyfriend’s sister and her husband want to stay with us. They don’t want to book a hotel. And I don’t want that. :( I am A very introverted person and it’s stressing me out enough that I have to spend every evening (incl dinner) with the sister and her husband (even if they’re in a hotel). But going to bed together with them every night (and then them seeing me potentially in my pyjamas when I use the bathroom), really kills me. I just don’t want that. I need my peace during the day and I need to be able to go to bed alone with my partner. I also work from home which means I’ll really be around his sister every day. My boyfriend will be at his office in town My boyfriend says he can’t tell them to get a hotel. It’s not polite. I just need to suck it up?What do you think? AITA? Is it really such a horrible thing to ask a rich married couple to stay the night in a hotel instead of our flat?
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AITA for not wanting my partner’s sister and husband stay with us?
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NTA
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10vu46w
|
At the drugstore, a customer was arguing with the cashier about a discount she didn't think was ringing up right. The cashier was a teen, trying his best, and was very patient with her. She was getting nastier because he couldn't make her happy, yelling about false advertising. This went on for 20 minutes, they even called another cashier to accommodate her debate. As I am checking out she walks away from the cashier counter to the back of the store & yells rude things to the cashier from across the store. When he doesn't answer her she says "Hello! Are you listening to me?!" She huffs to the counter & lays into the cashier, "You're giving me such a hard time. Giving me attitude, helping another customer..." I lost it and said loudly, "The only person being rude is you. Customer service does not mean customer abuse. They don't get paid to be treated like that by you." She got quiet and said under her breath with her back to me, "You should mind your own business". I retorted, "I would mind my business if you kept your voice down. If you are gonna treat people like that be prepared to take it from others calling you out because you are being a bitch, no one wants to listen to you." She was leaving and said to me in passing, "You don't know what was happening." This pissed me off bc everyone had to listen to her for the past 20 minutes and her screaming across the store at the cashier like he was a dog. I looked her straight in the face, "F*** you, goodbye." She kept trying to have the last word and I just kept saying "F*** you, goodbye" to every single syllable that came out of her mouth. She even tried to tell me off from the parking lot while I was still at the checkout, to which was my final "F*** you, goodbye." I was so angry I couldn't think of anything more diplomatic or clever to say. It was apparent to me she just wanted to argue and felt justified because she wasn't getting what she wanted. I love a deal and use coupons all of the time but I am always kind and understand that you can't make a scan read what you want it to read. Only a manager can apply a manual discount off of your total and there are frequently no managers on site after peak hours.The two cashiers were so appreciative, they thanked me profusely. I told them I was sorry they were treated that way and that I hope she will think twice about treating someone like that in the future because there are people out there who will call her out. But within minutes I felt bad for cussing and losing my temper. Did I take it too far?
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AITA for telling off a yelling customer?
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NTA
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10vrydw
|
Some background information … I live in another country than my family (college), but my dad is currently in town (for around 10 days) and has repeatedly invited my so and I out for breakfast/lunch/dinner plus a 2 day stay in a fancy hotel. It’s been around 5 days since my dad has been here, and for the entire duration of this stay he’s been paying for every meal, sightseeing, museum tickets, etc. I’ve been noticing that my so repeatedly chose the most expensive items between the 3 of us, so when we went to dinner tonight I quietly and discretely advised them not to do it again (Their meal was around 30$ while my dad’s and mine were around 15-18$). My so then complained about it and said I was being rude and and an asshole … Which I don’t understand? It might be a cultural difference but where I’m from this behavior isn’t necessarily considered well mannered. On top of that, my so is complaining about having to pay for their own theme park admission tickets in a few days. I’m kind of baffled by all of this but … Am I the asshole for considering this whole situation rude/ungrateful?
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AITA for telling them not to order the most expensive item?
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NTA
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10vs868
|
I (38M) work in a big tech corporate environment where I’m a manager. One of my employees, Katy (54F) had her father die recently.I offered Katy my condolences and made sure that she could take time away from work to grieve and take care of any arrangements for her parent and family. This partly meant covering some of her work for her. In discussion with a co-worker (Sarah), I shared that Katy would be out for the next couple weeks because her dad passed away, so if Sarah needed anything from Katy just reach out to me instead. Sarah sent Katy a note of support offering her condolences. The issue here is Katy came back to work and is really upset with me for sharing her private information (that her dad died). I know that such a thing is very personal, but I didn’t realize it’s the kind of thing you keep confidential. Katy says if I didn’t need to share that information, and I shouldn’t have done it without her permission.I’m not looking to start shit and don’t think there’s a “win” to be had here so I simply apologized and hope it goes away. So, AITA for telling co-workers that Katy’s dad died?
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AITA for sharing that my co-workers dad died?
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YTA
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10vt9qr
|
I 35(F) and him 39(m)have been together 12 years, married for 9. We have two boys together. We’ve had our up and downs like most marriages do. However he seems to not be able to help himself from texting other women. When we first got together I found him messaging his exes when drunk. But as the years went on, I’d find out he was in certain websites talking dirty to others and sending pictures. But just the other day at my birthday he threw for me, his snap kept going off so I finally looked at it, he was passed out drunk, and it was a women asking him to send her certain pictures and videos. I looked back and there was a lot… not just with her. I was livid, I felt like such a fool, that I keep giving him all these chances. I confronted him the next day, first he attacked me by saying it’s all my fault he does these things. Later in the day he said to him it’s not cheating, it’s like p*rn to him and just chatting, swears he has never been with anyone else since me, then he said he is a f*caked up deviant who needs help. So my question is, am I the asshole for calling him a cheater or I am right and he is going to continue messing with me forever…
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AITA for being done with my husband after I caught him on snap chat with other women
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NTA
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10vnvti
|
I am currently a high school senior. My friend group has about five people in it, one of them was Mia. In sophomore year, Mia got a boyfriend, Elias. Things were normal for about two months, then Mia started to only spend time with Elias. We would make plans together, Mia would say she was coming, not show up, and we would all wait for her and text her. Mia would never respond back, so we would get worried that something bad happened to her. But then when we saw her in person and asked her about it, Mia would just be like “Oh yeah, Elias and me just wanted one-on-one time.” Mia had access to her phone the whole time. She just didn’t even bother telling us and just knowingly left us waiting on her. She even lied that she had a family emergency and couldn’t come to our friend Tessa’s birthday. We bumped into Mia and Elias at the mall and found out that the family emergency was made up. (Elias was welcome to come to all these events, he and Mia just wanted couple’s only time.) That went on for almost two years. Mia barely gave us one-word answers over text and would just blow us off in person for Elias. We still tried to invite her and Elias to hang out/events, but we wouldn’t wait after five minutes because we knew that they wouldn’t show up anyway.Mia suddenly started texting us back and trying to talk to us again. It turns out Elias moved away. Mia expects us to come to lunch everyday because she says she feels too weird/bored being by herself, when we literally just can’t because we have clubs and things for college/graduation that have to get done. I’m the only person in my friend group without an actual part-time job, but it’s only because I have to babysit my siblings on weekends. Mia will tell us about plans the hour before they’re supposed to happen and will get angry that we’re too busy to hang out. Recently Mia called us all uncaring and bad friends because we were all at work/babysitting and couldn’t go to the mall.I texted Mia privately saying that she can’t expect is to drop everything for her after she’s neglected us as a friend for so long. She’s allowed to spend time with her boyfriend. But that friends are also people who you need to spend time with if you want to have a relationship with them. We can’t drop everything on your whim when you’ve barely talked to us for almost two years.My older sister Kennedy saw me texting this to Mia (she’s home from college) and said I was the asshole. Kennedy said my other friends and I were entitled and that the world doesn’t revolve around us so we can’t always expect Mia’s time. We’ve never “always expected” Mia’s time though. Just for her to not blow us off or at least be honest for two years. It also seems hypocritical because Mia chose to ignore us for so long for Elias and we literally just don’t have time to meet because of jobs and graduation/college things that need to be done. But Kennedy is usually right about things like this, so I thought I’d ask on here.
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AITA For being honest with my friend that she can’t expect us to drop everything for her after she’s neglected us for so long?
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NTA
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10vwl2w
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So, I’m going to start that I’ve already posted that story in other subs and got a lot of creepy messages asking for pics, so… please, don’t be creepy.I’m a 25 year old guy and my mom is 47. My father and her have been divorced for 6 years by now. They met in college and all. My father has his own life and we don’t talk much, but I live close to my mom (separately, though) and drop by a lot. I’ve advised her to hit the gym last year and she did. Two days ago, when I was at her place, she told me that she met a ‘younger’ guy there. I assumed it was someone in his early 40s or something, no big deal. But then she told me it was a 22 year old guy. Showed me their pics and all. As she said, they’ve been going out for almost a month (that explains her recent shopping spree, I guess). Then, later on in the day, when I entered the room she was on the phone with her female best friend. Regretfully, I have overheard certain details about this man she was gushing over. I don’t want to quote it, but let’s just say that mom was excited about a certain physical feature. When she noticed me, she gave me a weird look and went to the other side of the room.We didn’t talk much about it. On Monday I’ve called her a few times in the evening and she didn’t respond. She called me back this morning (Tuesday) just a few hours ago. I told her that I’ve overheard everything and asked if she was sure about what she was doing. She said it was natural and that she has certain needs, and at the end of the day we had a pretty big argument over it. I said a few things I ain’t proud of, she said she wants my support and I refused. Said he could be taking advantage of her (mom is well off), she laughed it off and I claimed she was just being stupid. At this point, she said some things in return and hung up.Funnily enough, I myself have dated older, so for me it’s sort of a boomerang.TL;DR I don’t support mom dating younger, had an argument over it.
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AITA For Arguing With Mom About Her Dating Life
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YTA
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10vtokf
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I, 22F live with one roommate 21F in a small apartment. We were friends before becoming roommates and we were always at each others houses anyways, so it seemed to make sense to be roommates. Everything was going so well until about three months into the lease she started dating her boyfriend, 24M. At the beginning I was so happy that she was happy after getting out of a terrible relationship before this one, but then it began to make my living situation hell.Her boyfriend is a former drug addict that has not been able to hold a job for longer than 3 weeks over the course of their relationship, so she's constantly giving him money which meant that I've had to cover her rent multiple times. He has stolen food from me, and they ransacked my room one time when they were convinced I stole something. (spoiler: I didn't.) They leave dirty dishes for weeks and food everywhere - we even had bugs for a little bit because of it. He's also very rude to me - he called me fat to my face, and said that no one would ever love me. Both times she made me apologize to him for making him mad enough to say that.In addition, he manipulates her by constantly telling her he's going to k\*\*l himself and how he's going to do it in graphic detail whenever he's upset with her, making her leave work and ditch plans with me and our other friends. He has currently been here for 15 days. Our lease says that we cannot have a guest over for more than 7 days in a row. They've kept me up every night until 4 am even after I've asked them to be quiet, and they leave messes everywhere. Every time I ask when he is going home, she or he yells at me for being insensitive towards her falling in love and that he's in a fragile mental state. I try to explain that my space just feels violated and I just want them to cut back on how many days he's here.I've talked to them many times, and I didn't want it to come to this, but I feel as though I have to go to my landlord. She's one of my closest friends (I know, I know that I should not have moved in with my best friend) but I don't even feel comfortable living here anymore. Every time I try to talk to her about it she verbally abuses me. So would I be the asshole for getting her in trouble with the landlord for breaking the guest policy and for making me uncomfortable?
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WIBTA for going to my landlord?
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NTA
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10vn0to
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My (31m) gf (30f) is having a large bday party next week. I have struggled with alcohol addiction for a while. I am 15 days sober.I told my gf I’m not going to a party with alcohol. She said if that’s the problem it will be a non-alcoholic party. People are going to wonder why there is no alcohol and I know they’ll bring some themselves regardless. Also, I don’t want anyone knowing I’m in recovery, and it will likely get spread that I am the reason there is no alcohol. I also don’t want others to not drink just because I’m there. I’m just trying to get to a point I can be around alcohol without drinking it (a point that will honestly take a couple of months I’d imagine).She is upset I’m not going and won’t leave me alone about it.EDIT: My ideal scenario is she has the party without me there, and I told her that her and I can have our own party the next day where I’ll give her a present, dinner and a bday cake.
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AITA for not going to my girlfriend’s birthday party?
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NTA
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10vr6ji
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My sister has lived with me and my husband more-on-than-off for 10 years, beginning with sleeping on our couch for free in a 600 sq/ft apartment downtown Vancouver, to her own bedroom/bath in a shared 2B condo for $300, to now a separate 2B basement suite in Squamish, originally for $900, recently increased to $1200. For anyone who knows this area and the housing market, these rates are incredibly low, we could easily earn double for the suite. But we've always accommodated her because she is close family who struggles financially and we hoped by leaning on us she would eventually get a leg-up on life.Fast forward: my husband and I purchased a 5B house with 3B on top, and seperate 2B downstairs. We now have 2 kids who share a room, while the 3rd room is a home daycare for 2 additional kids. So at max capacity we are 2 adults and 4 children (and a cat!) sharing the same square footage as my single sister who refuses to get a roommate to pay us more rent.A few months ago I asked what her life plans were and implied it was getting a bit cramped upstairs and ideally I would like to move the daycare downstairs so our own children can get their individual rooms back and my husband and I can separate our home from my job. Every time I bring up the subject and stress the reasons it is important for us to take over the space downstairs, she responds with "it is too expensive for me to move out." To be honest it really is...she earns low income and Squamish rental market is absurdly high. So, AITA for asking my sister to move out and take on her own financial burdens so my family and business can grow into the entire house, even if it forces her to grind and sacrifice in an unaffordable community? My internal debate becomes: is it more important for my own family to be more comfortable, in exchange for her to become very uncomfortable? Or is she actually the A for taking advantage of us and I just need to be more forceful and say get-the-F-out?
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AITA for asking my sister and roommate/tenant for 10 years to finally move out?
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NTA
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10vu2q1
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my girlfriend & i (25M, 26F) have been dating for 2 years now. due to her current life circumstances, she has been in a constant state of stress/anxiety for the last year. recently she began displaying some usual & concerning symptoms... after some testing, we learned that she has lupus. she has no family history of it, so the doctor concluded that the condition was brought on by stress.i am supposed to fly out of the country to visit my family for 8 days on wednesday. i have contemplated the idea of postponing (the airline said they could cancel & apply the fare value for a future trip) but the mere suggestion of it brought backlash from my family. AITA for not cancelling/postponing my trip to be there for my girlfriend after learning about her diagnosis?
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AITA for not canceling my trip after my girlfriend was diagnosed with lupus
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NAH
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10vq2a7
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I (F31) am helping my Mom (F66) plan a milestone birthday party for my grandmother(F 99!). We are organizing the party including the venue, catering, decorations, and invitations and guest list.I sent the invitations out and had people RSVP to my Mom because a lot of Gran’s old friends and relatives know my mom better than me. Quite a few relatives have received their invitation and invited additional people. My Mom had politely told them that just the folks listed on the invitation were invited and everyone had been okay with that. It turns out my cousin (M56) had just discovered he has a daughter in her 20s. They have never met but have been speaking on the phone. My cousin invited her and her boyfriend to this birthday party. My mom told him she didn’t think it was appropriate for their first meeting as the day is really about Gran’s birthday. He brushed her off so I decided to call and tell him that I felt the same way. I stressed that we aren’t trying to be unwelcoming and other people were told the same thing about additional guests. And that we'd all love to meet at any other family get together. He called me manipulative and selfish and said no one from his family, including his other children and their kids, would come if his daughter was excluded from the party (I don’t know that they all feel this way, but that is what he told me).My mom agrees with me but thinks I should have just kept quiet so there wouldn’t be any bad feelings around the party. But I feel like that is giving him special treatment considering what we have told other guests. Am I the asshole?
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AITA for telling my cousin it was inappropriate to invite his daughter to my Grandmother’s birthday?
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YTA
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10vmovh
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My dentist recently recommended that I get Invisalign, and I mentioned that to my fiancé. He also expressed interest in getting it, as his dentist recommended it as well. For the record, we have completely different dentists and different dental insurance. I scheduled the consultation a few days later, after my most recent cleaning. I thought my appointment was next Monday, but got a text this morning saying that it was today. I went to the appointment, and later mentioned it in passing when he and I were texting. He said he was surprised to hear that I had made the appointment and I told him that I had, but mistakenly thought it was next week. He was upset because he felt “left out” and said that if I had expressed interest in something he was doing, he would’ve told me about making an appointment. I said that I always tell him anytime I have any appointments, dental or otherwise, and chances are I would have mentioned it later this week. That wasn’t satisfactory, and he’s still upset with me that I moved forward with making an appointment for myself. AITA for moving forward with my appointment at my separate dentist and not telling him because thought the appointment was a week away still? For the record, I am completely paying for it myself so it’s not affecting him financially or otherwise, really.UPDATE: He says that he’s not upset, he was just telling me how he felt (like he got left behind) and that it seems like I don’t care about how he feels….but he literally doesn’t seem to understand that I didn’t even know my appointment was today…UPDATE #2: He has apologized for not understanding the fact that I didn’t know my appointment was today and for overreacting. He said he was caught off guard that I had already started the process, but realizes I’m well within my right to do that.
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AITA for getting Invisalign?
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NTA
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10vve5z
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my wedding (shaadi) is in 10 days and my mother in law has gotten me lots of pakistani suits and dresses, and i love them and they’re beautiful, but the sleeves are either too short or see through.i have never worn short sleeves or see through sleeves because i’m insecure of my arms because they’re big and i have scars on my forearms from years ago. i also back my reason with religion because my arms aren’t supposed to be revealed anyways. i feel like it’s my fault because i should have told her beforehand how i wear sleeves but now it’s too late. i’m not sure what could be done about the shorter sleeves, but i know a lining can be stitched for the longer see through sleeves, but i feel so bad for even thinking about saying that because there are so many and the majority of them are like that. she’s also gotten my dress for my wedding as a gift. it is absolutely stunning but, sleeves are too short.i feel like such a disappointment and want to cry because i know that there’s always something wrong that happens in a wedding, but i don’t know how to handle this and feel like a bad person for telling her that i can’t wear 99.8 % of the clothes. AITA?
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AITA because mother in law got me clothes i love but can’t wear
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NTA
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10vrtk7
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I (F 27) and my husband (M 28), have been together for the past 6 years. My husband let me know when we first got together about his dad, the abuse, negativity, drinking etc. He let me know in advance of what to expect but I had no idea how bad it would be. My first experience was when we moved in together, when my husband told me all the nasty things he said about me. I‘ve never done anything to my FIL and I’ve always been polite, so this shocked me. I didn’t know how to interact with his dad after that, so I just went LC. Today we were invited to dinner and I was hesitant, but ultimately decided to go. We went over to FIL’s house and greeted everyone, but I had to go to the bathroom before I sat at the table. Conversation between Husband and FIL: FIL: “Did you eat today? I made your favorite” Husband: “I had some leftovers and some snacks earlier… why?” FIL: “That’s not real food…You should tell that bitch to get off her lazy ass at work and cook more for you.” His family went silent, and FIL tried to laugh it off like he was joking, not realizing I came back from the bathroom.Me: “ Now I see why MIL left you. You alcoholic, cheating, abusive self absorbed asshole. People only hang out with you because they’re scared of you.”Husband: “Go fuck yourself dad. Let’s go honey, we can eat out.”We grabbed our stuff and left. My husband got a text 2 hours ago from FIL claiming I embarrassed him and he demands an apology. My husband said I was okay, but I feel like I overstepped my bounds a bit.AITA?
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AITA for calling my FIL out and ruining family dinner?
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NTA
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10vkvk6
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Hi! I just turned 33 today (33/F). I have no plans today but I do have plans over the span of the next week. Anyway, I used to be very close with a girl from ages 25-30. I’d say we were best friends basically. She got into a relationship a few years ago and we have since drifted apart (which is to be expected when you get into a relationship). She has taken this to the extreme though - she won’t make plans with me unless it involves her boyfriend too OR if I’m driving the 45 minutes to the dive bar near them. She will never meet me for dinner or anything. I stopped driving out towards her for this reason. I felt the friendship was kind of one sided. Also, if we did make plans, a lot of the time she would cancel right before and make up a lame excuse. Anyway, a week ago she asked if she could take me out for my birthday today because as of a week ago I didn’t have plans today specifically. I told her sure and we discussed a few places. I was a little hesitant but I thought she’d actually keep the plans since it’s my birthday. (Lesson learned!)Today around noon she messages me and asks if we can reschedule because her 2nd job asked her to work tonight. (Mind you - she lives with her parents still and has no bills so she’s not pressed for money). My heart sunk because I knew it was a blatant lie. Her 2nd job never asks her to come in on Mondays for as long as I’ve known her. I said “no problem!” But I now plan on not speaking to her anymore. I feel there is no value left in our friendship. AITA for completely cutting her off? Is it worth saying anything further?
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AITA for cutting my friend off after she cancelled birthday dinner plans?
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NTA
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10vu28i
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Ill give some context here first so there's some idea of the situation. I have a 2 bedroom apartment with my fiance and my 2 yo son. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. My name is the only name on my lease because I moved in first before my fiance and our roommate moved in later as well. I (21 F) and my fiance (20 M) have both been having issues with our roommate (22 M) since he started dating my childhood friend (22 F). Now I will say that I have known our roommate (I'll call him J) since middle school and his gf (I'll call her B) since elementary, so I feel like I have known them long enough to let them into my home. Now this is where the problem started. B started using all of my things without my permission and J has been telling me to get over myself and justifying her behavior because of her mental health issues (I know she has issues with depression). The problem is I found out that when I was 8 weeks pregnant that I have Lukimia and could no longer work so even though I'd want them out just over that I can't afford to kick them out because my fiance's income isn't enough. I've asked her to stop using my soaps and my clothes without my permission for months and the only way I could get her to stop using my soap was to get rid of it which sucked for me because I have severe allergies to most soaps so for over a month now I have not been able to properly bathe myself just to get her out of my things. When I moved all my soaps out of my bathroom to try and hide it, she raided my room and both her and my roommate said that I was being an asshole for trying to keep her out of my things. This months water bill came in too and it's over $60 because she has been taking 3 hour long showers and when I told B and J off about it they said it wasn't their problem. J made B pay the excessive bill because I told him that if she didn't cover what she used that I was going to make them pack their bags, which honestly make me feel like a jerk. I have continuously asked them to respect my boundaries and my child as well because they've been blaming everything on him (messes, things being moved, any time they loose something etc). Ive had to threaten them with us getting evicted just to get them to clean the mess that they made in the living room and even then I was doing most of the work. Ive come to a crossroads here and honestly I'd feel like an asshole if I kicked them out, but I feel worse for trying to get them to respect the boundaries I have tried to set in place and it not going anywhere.Am I the asshole for wanting them to respect my boundaries?
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AITA for wanting my roommate and his gf to respect my boundaries?
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NTA
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10vn2zg
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My boyfriend and I of 4 years have unsupportive ignorant genx and boomer parents. We live right in the middle of New York City and we’re currently moving out to Minnesota. We already paid for a AirB&B (since neither wanted to co-sign for us) and we have been employed by the job before we told my parents we’re moving. We have roughly 1k+ saved up and are leaving as fast as we can. My parents live in New York public housing and I’ve just been told that since I got the job right after my mom did her taxes, housing is going to accuse her of fraud and kick her out since she and I are on the lease and I already did paperwork for my job saying I am employed there. I didn’t ask for help from them because they take everything I do as if I am defying them and purposely attack them (they’re are helicopter parents). They’re known to shoot me down for anything or give me advice that they want for me, not what I want. I feel bad but don’t at the same time. It’s a mix of gaslighting saying I need them. In my defense, I won’t have anyone when they die besides my boyfriend but even then, I’ll still be alone if he decides leaves me. I just want to do things on my terms and how I want to live life. Am I the asshole since I did this behind their back? IF they do end up going homeless?Edit1: I’m sorry I’m wording everything really bad and leaving a few details out but I’m answering questions and hopefully from my responses, y’all can helpEdit2: Only my mom and I are on the lease. My dad lives with us but isn’t on the lease so this might give some clarity!
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AITA I accidentally made my parents homeless?
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NTA
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10vszxx
|
So, yesterday evening, these guys were having a conversation in our school Whatsapp group. I (17 M) was just reading the messages and not responding to anything when I noticed that one of them started making fun of a boy in our class.He was essentially fat-shaming him, although they termed it as a "joke" and that it was just harmless "roasting." I knew it was probably unwise to poke my head into it, but I told them it was uncool to say that. He defended his behaviour by asking me to chill out, and his friends started responding to me as well.One of them said the same thing, that they were just roasting that guy (it must be noted that he wasn't present at that time and that he likely doesn't enjoy their jokes from what I've seen, he just puts up with it). The other girl was like "Oh, so you're capable of talking? I'd thought you were deaf."And then it proceeded with them asking me to mind my own business, that I should just get to bed with a bottle of milk, etc. I just pretended as if it were friendly banter (I responded to their messages at times, and just laughed when they "joked" about me being a transwoman/feminine in nature) before eventually not responding to their messages.It's left a rather sour taste in my mouth, however, and I was just wondering whether I should've interfered in the first place. I'm not close friends with the person he made one joke about, but I thought he gets enough of them in class without extra helpings from them outside school too.However, no one else except me seemed to care either. I woke up this morning to everyone in the group having read those messages, and absolutely no one appeared to care in the slightest. It's had me wondering whether I over-reacted or something.Am I the asshole?
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AITA for telling my classmates that it's not cool to make fun of a boy in class?
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NTA
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10vfrnh
|
So I (20nb) have always been a bit strange when it comes to grief I just don't really. I honestly think it may be because of my autism I process those emotions differently. I'm upset when I find out someone close dies of course but it's never visible like I don't cry and tend to move on very quickly. Anyway my uncle died last week unexpectedly and the funeral was this last Saturday and I didn't cry or show any grief at all.After the funeral my mom comes up to me crying asking why I was being so horrible. I was confused and asked what she meant and she said I was being awful and acting like I didn't even care her brother is dead. I tried to explain I do care but she wouldn't listen she just kept yelling about how I was an emotionless robot and "why couldn't I just be normal". I don't know what to do. I swear I do care about my uncle I just can't visibly grief the way she wants me too. Am I the asshole? should I've been more upset? am I not normal?
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AITA for not acting “correctly” at a funeral?
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NTA
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10vuzbp
|
Hi, I'm 15 (m), and 2 days ago, my sister lashed out on me because I wanted my tablet back because that was her only source of talking to her boyfriend. We both mutually agreed that 10 pm is when my tablet will be returned to me. She vented to our mom, causing my mom to strip away my rights to using my tablet my dad paid for, saying that "she can take anything away whenever she wants." Now I'm left with no tablet because my mom said I should give my sister my tablet and that "I already have a phone." And now my sister is only allowed to use my tablet. I lend my sister my tablet, xbox, wifi, and anything that is entertaining, and all I ask for in return is no rude tone or shitty attitude towards me when I want my tablet back. After explaining that her lashing out on me was fucked up to do since I give her my stuff she full on barged into my room sobbing yelling "you can have the tablet back" and throwing the tablet at me. Shortly after, my mom called me "fucked up" and snatched my tablet away from me. My girlfriend also agrees with me that I deserved better tonight from everyone. She was there for everything since we were on the phone when everyone was screaming at meI just want to know, am I really the asshole for wanting my tablet back? Because all day I've been called a asshole and painted out to be abusive towards my sister, this has happened to me for 3 days but ended tonight, hence why I am banned off of my tablet but my sister is only allowed to use itEdit: I do nothing to anyone. I stay in my room all day and respect everyone in my house
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AITA for wanting my tablet back?
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NTA
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10vtyj7
|
I (17f) have a little brother (15m) who just had his birthday. Ever since then I feel like his behavior has been escalating alot. Tonight it really boiled over and it was because of me. He's been very aggressive towards my mother(42f) and father (50m), starting arguments and picking fights, but I try and ignore him.My mom made dinner and served my brother a plate before letting me use the stove. I decided I wanted to make Ramen instead as I was feeling chilly and wanted soup. While making it I was humming to myself, but my brother turned up his phones volume very loud. He refuses to wear earbuds often and cranked his video up to the max as it began making terrible screechy sounds.I turned and asked him to turn it down. He responded that he would if I stopped my "annoying humming". My mom was in the living area and told him to turn it down too, which began a fight. He kept insisting I needed to stop humming and he wouldn't turn it down or put his earbuds in. My brother thinks he can say whatever he wants because its his 'freedom'. so I just said "If you've got he freedom of saying and doing what you want, I get the same. I can hum however I want."He then yelled me and kept escalating, calling me names and cussing at me until my mom and him got into a yelling match. I stayed quiet. My mom tells me a lot that when I yell back and pitch fights with him I'm just as bad as he is, so.. I shut up. He eventually got up to go tell my dad and he left his phone on the table, still playing the video.My mom got up and went to turn it off when he came back and he started losing it, ripping his phone away and putting it in his pocket as he said he now wouldn't be giving it over and she needed to get out of his space. My mom then called my dad for backup after he told her if she took his phone he'd throw his plate of food all over her. My dad came out and both of them cornered him by the dinner table and began demanding his phone. He was screaming about how they needed to back up and get away or he wouldn't give it.I just stood by the stove, stirring my noodles. I make my ramen in a particular way. I use the same pot, bowl, and utensils every meal. I cook it for ten to twelve minutes exactly depending on how I'm feeling (has to be 10 or 12). So I was really just paying attention to my food and the clock. Then he starts yelling about how this was all "my game". He was blaming me and saying I was playing a game, that they were letting me "win" by trying to take his phone and this was all my "plan".What plan?! Dude, I'm humming making my fucking soup! Eventually they did get the phone, which was the end of my dads involvement. But my brother was livid. He began throwing things everywhere and cussing me out, trying to convince him this was some huge "game" of mine. I'm hiding in my room for the night. AITA?
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AITA for keeping quiet when my parents cornered my brother?
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NTA
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10vpdxq
|
My Flatmate twisted her ankle last week. Her friend drove her to the hospital and they gave her some crutches. It’s been a week and the swelling has completely gone down and she’s able to walk without her crutches. She called me today while at work and asked me to drive her to the hospital tonight after work (and wait with her because her foot hurts again). I have a majo assignment due for school this week and need to spend time doing working. I told her I could drive her there but couldn’t wait with her She’s now upset with me that I wouldn’t take her pain more seriously. I’m confused as to why she can’t get an Uber and or ask a friend..AITA?
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AITA for not offering to wait with my Flatmate at the hospital?
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NTA
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10vlpr4
|
My only child, 11 year old son, has the schizoid personality disorder and thus doesn't like being the center of attention.Yesterday night, we were having a big dinner will all of our families, including my husband’s parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, and my own.Everything was going fine until no one was talking. Naturally, to initiate a conversation, my husband decided to ask my son about school, causing my son to smile awkwardly and look down, not saying anything. He was obviously uncomfortable so I glared at my husband and said it wasn’t important. We just talked about something else after that, but I couldn’t help but notice my son looking like he was about to cry. However, I never said anything because I knew he wouldn’t like it if I asked him stuff like “Are you okay?” at that time, as everyone’s attention would be on him then.After everyone left, my son came to me noticeably upset. Teary, he told me that he felt uncomfortable and embarrassed in front of everyone and that he didn’t like it (he never specified what ‘it’ was but I’m sure you understand), so I told him I’d talk to his father.Later that night, I scolded my husband for making our son feel that way, especially knowing about his disorder, and told him to apologize to him the next day. He told me he was just trying to help him, that I was overreacting and that it wasn’t a big deal, which made me mad, and we got into a fight, with me calling him an 'asshole'. Now he's ignoring me and demanding an apology.Am I the asshole?
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AITA for scolding my husband for making our son uncomfortable?
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YTA
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10vwnsu
|
Me (24m) and my gf (22f) have been together for over 2 years. Towards the beginning of the relationship my gf was talking about a friend of hers that looked through her boyfriends phone and we both agreed that it's an unhealthy thing to do and we would never do that. Recently my gf asked if she would be able to look through my phone. I asked her why and pointed out the previous conversation. She said she thinks I've been acting differently and she wants to make sure that I'm not hiding anything. My best friend has been going through something and I'm one of the only people he's told about what he's going through so I've been helping him so I didn't want my girlfriend looking through my phone because it's breaking the trust that my friend has in me. I told my gf we could talk about how she thinks I've been acting differently but that I don't want to let her look through my phone. She accused me of hiding something and asked why I wouldn't do this for her. I pointed out we both agreed it was unhealthy so we should just talk about what's got her to want to check my phone and see if we can talk through that. She refused and again asked to see my phone.AITA for not letting my gf look through my phone?
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AITA for not letting my girlfriend look through my phone?
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NTA
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10vrp05
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I 27F am getting married soon. Due to budget constraints my fiancé and I decided to not give plus 1s to friends and co workers. I order to cut cost , we decided to seat friends from the same friend group together so that they can mingle with each other and the same concept applied to colleagues. I have this one friend let’s call him John (28M)We went to the same university together and I only have one other friend from uni besides him that I’m inviting, let’s call her Jill 32F. Even though they don’t know each other well I decided I will seat them together at a table (with other persons as well 8 persons per table) because I know them from the same place. I know some people may be weird about the no plus ones thing so I contact them b4 I sent out invites and asked them if they are ok with the no plus ones thing and if they will be able to come. Jill said no problem, she’s single anyway so wasn’t planning on bringing anyone and thanked me for the invite. John on the other hand (also single and not seeing anyone) didn’t mention that not having a plus 1 is a problem, but he stated that he may come but he’s not sure if he might and that “according to his mood” he will know. I have so much going on and I really don’t have time for all that. I have family I grew up with that I can’t invite because I’m sticking to a 2 person per household for extended family(big family and things will get out of control quickly) I fully well understand being in a funk and not being able to show up for friends and I 100% respect that. I constantly put other people 1st and I’m always considerate. But this is my and my fiancé’s wedding for God’s sake ,I don’t have time to coddle John.Today he asked me if I sent out the invites yet and I said yes. I told him that I’m extremely overwhelmed right now and that if he’s coming to tell me and and I will arrange his invite and seating. He told me to “not worry about it” (meaning don’t bother to send his invite)I sent a voice note asking him not to feel any type of way and again told him that I am under a lot of pressure right now and I don’t have time to fuss over every guest and that I need to prioritise myself right now. Was he was dismissive and said , “like I said before don’t worry about it”I left it at that and didn’t respond AITA?
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AITA for not inviting my close friend to my wedding
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NTA
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10vplz3
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AITA For refusing to buy a bridesmaid dress? I was invited to be a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding. She's a very close friend and has known me since childhood and I was happy to be her bridesmaid. She had also chosen one of her work colleagues to be the maid of honor. Problems started to arise when the bride took us to go pick out the dresses. She wanted orange and purple dresses that cost about 250 dollars. The dress was very ugly and I tried to talk her into changing the dress colors but she believed it matched the theme of the wedding which, it did not. She had her heart set on it so I tried to let it go, but I couldn't. All the bridesmaids for the wedding and the maid of honor were planning a surprise for the bride, so we had created a group chat for it without the bride of course. I brought up my problem with the dress-up in the group chat and it was received well by most. Many of the women said they didn't like the dress choice but it made the bride happy so they didn't want to say anything. The maid of honor however was angry that I was trying to talk about this behind the bride's back and when I suggested bringing the dress problem up to the bride, She said I should back off. We were going to buy the dresses in 2 days and I surely am not wearing that so I brought this up to the bride and she wasn't happy, She asked me to just wear it for her special day, but I'm not spending over 250 dollars on a repulsive dress I might as well wear once and then throw away. The wedding is in two weeks and the bride hasn't spoken to me since then. so AITA?????
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AITA Bridesmaid dress dilemma
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YTA
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10vg5ui
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I have COVID and am having respiratory distress. I can't stand without fainting. My heart rate is 160 and it's hard to breathe. I can't care for my 2 year old. My husband will get fired if he calls in to care for our daughter and me. I asked MIL for help and she said she would watch her for one night but no more for husband to drop her off at bedtime and pick her up first thing in the morning (he works night shift). It just isn't much help. I'm really sick. We're lucky to get her to watch our kid once every few months while she watches SIL son OVERNIGHT 1-2 times per week. My daughter isn't difficult. Everytime MIL watches her she talks about how much easier of a child she is than nephew. But still if we ask a week in advance for her to watch our daughter she'll say stuff like "oh I was thinking about watching nephew that day. I hadn't decided but I'll probably be watching him" I haven't said anything about this to her but I was trying to talk to my husband about it and he said it's fine and we should just take what we can get. I don't have the air to argue but I just wanna know if I'm in the wrong here. I might be TA because it's our kid abd not her job to keep her but I feel like she is TA for her blatant favoritism and unwillingness to help us when we need her most.
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AITA for pointing out MILs blatant favoritism?
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NTA
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10vlu7s
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I (28M) got a job offer in another state that has great pay and great benefits. My wife (31F) is ready to move our two kids for the opportunity. However, my parents say we “support you” then go into a long explanation how my mother is depressed and would be devastated if we moved her grandkids away and how my father stepped down from his role to have more time with the grandkids. We’re moving either way because it’s what’s best for my family but AITA for moving them away?
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AITA for wanting to move my family away from their grandparents for a new job
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NTA
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10vwady
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Sorry for spelling or grammar errors, i usually just read posts on here. I (f21) yelled at my (step) little sister (f16) for the first time today. For context, my (m19) (step) brother has a girlfriend (f20). From the day that I met her I've been courteous and kind. From asking her how her da went, to consoling her when my brother and her hit a bump or any other issues for that matter. I have never once disrespected her and even thought of her as another addition to the family.Now a few months after I meet her, I hear from my little sister that GF is saying some things behind my back. For starters, my sister was complaining about our room, it was a mess because I had been too depressed to clean up after myself, although I still tried, I acknowledge it wasn't nearly enough. GF then responds to this with "I would've already kicked her out". Regardless I stay cordial, when she comes over I say hi, and I ask her if I can server her a plate of food and treat her with overall too much hospitality that I feel she deserves. I never confronted GF because LS says "GF told me that in private and confidence and if you tell her I won't talk to you ever again". They have a good relationship and there's no reason for theirs to be rocky just cause ours is. The subject came up again tonight and LS suggested I forgive her, and I told her "I'll be respect her but I won't forgive her, trying to get my only family left to kick me out is so green." LS then tried to further push the concept and I snapped at her. I understand she meant no harm but at the moment I felt a bit antagonized, I'm not sure why but it sent a surge of rage through me. I yelled at her and she got upset at me and kicked me out of her room, put all my stuff out in the hall and blocked me on all socials. I told SM about this about 2 hours later and we had a talk and I apologized to LS and told her it was wrong for me to yell at her and LS says "yeah I'm a kid I shouldn't have to deal with a 21 y/o's shit and I agree you could've handled it better and now you don't have a room because of it". I do feel so bad for yelling at her and I know she meant no harm in her advice and I know I blew it completely put of proportion and I apologized and told her exactly that but I feel that she's being way too harsh on me. Maybe I'm being toxic idk... so reddit AITA.SUMMARY:I(f21) yelled at my (f16) little (step)sister for implying multiple times that I forgive my (m19)'s GF(f20) for trying to get me kicked out the house, saying I'm abusive towards my cat when I'm not and would never be abusive towards him and excluding me from events simply because. When I've never disrespected her and thought of her as a friend or even another sister.
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AITA for yelling at my little sister?
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ESH
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10vlc4t
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I (17m) asked my sister (13f) to clean up the blood in the bathroom after her period and she blew up at me. She says I should be more considerate of “women's needs” and I shouldn’t get in her business about it. I understand this is something she can’t help but at the same time I don’t think it’s my responsibility to pick up after her. When I talked to my parents about it and they agree with me but won’t do anything to make her pick up after herself. AITA?Edit: I should’ve specified what I asked her to clean. She leaves blood soaked rags and tampons on the floor. I put a trash can in there for her to use but she still uses the floor I use the guest bathroom now because ours has become too bloody to use. I bought her a trash can to use but she took offense to it and continued using the floor. I really don’t know what to do now.
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AITA For asking my sister to clean the bathroom after her period?
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NTA
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10vogxj
|
I don’t mind doing laundry. I started doing my own laundry when I was about 15 or 16 so I could have my favorite clothes ready for school. In college I did all my own laundry. After college I lived alone for many years and always did my own laundry.I’m married now and we have two kids. Obviously that means a lot of dirty clothes. The way my wife does laundry is maddening to me and I want to know if I’m being an asshole, or if my refusal makes sense.The laundry machines are in the basement and the washer and dryer are not adjacent. There’s about 15 feet between the two. Dumb, I know, but the way the basement is set up is not going to change anytime soon. In my mind, this is the proper way to do the laundry. You fill up one basket, take it down and place all of the clothes in the washer. The basket sits by the washer and waits. When the wash is done, you use the basket to transport the wet clothes to the dryer. The basket stays by the dryer and waits. When the dryer is done you bring up the dry clothes in the basket and fills and put them away. A few key points. I only fill up enough for one load per basket and the basket travels with the load. I also try to fills the clothes as soon as possible so they don’t get wrinkly.My wife does laundry differently. The method sometimes changes but it basically goes like this. She will fill up a basket with as many clothes as possible. That often means there’s too many clothes for one load. Some of the clothes go in the washer and some stay in the basket. To transfer the wash to the dryer, she just grabs handfuls and walks them over to the dryer. Takes a few trips to transfer a load. So now there’s two loads of laundry and one basket. Add others loads using the same method and you end up with no baskets downstairs to bring up the laundry.So many times I go down to get laundry and just have to walk back upstairs to find a basket. Or there are no empty baskets because all of them are half full of dirty clothes. Just tonight i went down and there’s a load in the wash, a load in the dryer, and two baskets with clothes in them but I’m not sure if they’re dirty or clean. It just makes no sense to me and is such a bad system that I have just given up.I still do laundry, but only if I start and finish it. I refuse to help her unless it’s actually upstairs and ready for folding. So am I the asshole?
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AITA for refusing to help with the laundry?
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YTA
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10vrz5k
|
I was 17 and worked hard to save money to go to one of my favorite concerts. My sister was upset that she didn’t get to go and whines to my mom. She tells my mom that it wasn’t fair that I get to go to a concert and go out of town for my spring break while her dad wouldn’t give her money for her spring break and she didn’t get to do anything.My mother tells me how selfish I am that I didn’t buy a ticket for her too. I had a phone bill I was paying and worked hard to save that money. My mom tells me if your sister can’t go you can’t go either. It’s not fair. I was pissed because I took time off work for that and worked hard for that money. I said, “It’s not my fault my sisters dad is a dead beat and won’t do anything for her. She is your responsibility financially, not mine.”I was in trouble and I wasn’t allowed to go out for three days. I was angry because I worked so hard for that money. Maybe I did go too far talking about her father. AITA?For clarity: I’m 21 now! I was 17 when this happened !
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AITA for spoiling myself?
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NTA
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10viihj
|
My brother (17, lets call him K) is heavily autistic, he basically had the mindset of a 4 year old. My sister (15, let's call her F) is like me; neurotypical. I am a bit older than my siblings and have decided to keep living at home because my brother doesn't like to be away from me; So, for now, I live with my parents and help them look after him.​My brother is quite friendly , he giggles a lot, likes to clap and jump.​ I understand why my sister never explained to her friends about the extent of our brother's disabilities; she is very introverted, unlike me, and struggled to make friends for a long time. She assumed that people would find her weird for having an autistic brother and I don't pry into it too much because I don't want to be mean to my little sister.​Anyway, when her friends came over yesterday, I explained to her friends explicitly to not do anything mean or anagonise K; I warned them that if they upset him he might react badly, and I told them that it would be best to not speak to him at all as he doesn't like strangers.​They listened and I thought everything was fine; I went into the kitchen with my parents and expected F and her 5 friends to have the maturity to just stay in her room or come and get snacks from the kitchen and watch a movie. ​I heard K screaming a while later so I ran upstairs and my sister and her friends (lets call the one friend who spoke E) were standing over my brother in his room, whilst he was screaming and crying on the floor. He was screaming and I had to hug him to calm him down. E was snickering.​I asked E "what was so funny" and she asked me "why is he crying like that?"​My sister was standing there in silence and I was so angry because I didn't understand why my sister would make fun of her brother for some random friends she met outside.​" what did you do?" I asked to them and E kept looking at me funny before she said, "we turned off the cartoons on his tv cause they were too loud and we tried to get him to watch something age appropriate." K is capable of putting youtube baby cartoons on his tv and he loves them. I was confused why they even cared about the "age appropriateness" of a cartoon that they weren't watching???​"This is why you didnt let us come to your house before, right?" E was talking to F like I wasn't in the room and I finally snapped.​I told her friends to "get out" and that they "could come back when they knew how to mind their own business"​Her friends all stormed off home and my sister was crying and begging them not to leave. When they all left my sister went into her room and slammed the door and hasn't spoken to since.​My parents are on my side but I fear I've done irreversible damage to my sister's friendships.​AITA???
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AITA for telling my sister's friends to "get out"?
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NTA
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10vh14l
|
I (29f) am dating my boyfriend (38) for 1,5 years. I am an immigrant from a 3rd world country, and he was born here. It is a prosperous country in Europe. I am here for a bit more than 4 years, graduated (my 2nd education) and found a full-time job in the IT industry where I work now.In the beginning of our relationship it was the opposite financial situation- I was basically surviving and having money just for the basics. He paid for food for both of us but I refused to take his money (he offered once). Then the situation changes to the opposite exactly a year ago. I graduated and finally landed a good job. I am getting a good salary, and if I would have lived alone - it would have been a good life. But for 2 people money is barely enough for the necessities and I can\`t spend on what brings me joy or pay off my debt on time.He started having serious back problems the same month I land the job. He couldn’t walk or get up properly for a while. I took care of all of the chores and finances on myself, except I am not paying rent as the unemployment office (if this is how it’s called) is paying for him, I have my own place. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship and I gave them money when he didn’t have any. After a while I started feeling exhausted as I did everything while working and as he started feeling better, his mood somehow got only worse. We started arguing much more frequently and I noticed he started drinking alcohol quite often. He is using some… drug substances as well. I am against it but he has to make this decision by himself. The fact is that after he gets home drunk after drinking with his buddies at the kiosk nearby (almost daily lately), we almost always get into an argument, is rude to me and apologizes the next day. We were juggling back and forth- he was stepping one step forward and two back. I also told him that I will not be able to support him soon as I go into minus. I tried to set boundaries, not always successfuly but tried to be more consistent lately. Conflicts between us worsened since then.I have reached a point last week when I have had enough.He saw me in the last minute by the door with all my things packed. Got really mad and didn’t let me explain anything. I tried to explain that I see it as a pause, not as a break up- until he finds a job and his joy of life will start coming back. He told me he is very disappointed that I am leaving him alone when he needs my help and that I shouldn’t contact him again. I was very upset, as I still had hope that this situation will push him to start taking care of himself. He still called after this a few times and we even met up for a very short time what ended into arguments, so I am back to my place and we don\`t talk or chat.I feel sometimes that it was the right decision, as well as sometimes I do feel guilty and sorry for him.AITA?
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AITA for refusing to continue financially supporting my boyfriend who is unemployed for a year?
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NTA
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10vjkyb
|
I (23m) recently just got engaged to my now fiancé (28m). I decided that i want to take my fiancé's last name. My mum is pretty upset with it and really doesn't want me too.For context why, I have my mums last name. My dad was a deadbeat so when he left mum changed my last name to hers. Mum has 3 other kids, 2 with the same last name as their dad and 1 with my step dads last name. Even after getting married she kept her last name because she didnt want me to feel like im not a part of the family. Now that im getting married and changing my name shes upset she will be the only one with her last name. AITA?
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AITA for wanting to take my fiancé's last name and upsetting my mum
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NTA
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10vkbi4
|
AITA for deciding to not attend my brother’s destination wedding?Background: My brother has, over the past year, met and proposed to his girlfriend (now wife) in Turkey. They have spent a total of 4 weeks together in person. He has tried to get her to Canada on a visitor’s visa, and been denied twice. This past month he married her (quick paper-signing ceremony which we FaceTimed in for)Now they are applying for a spousal visa. To be honest, it’s all a bit quick to my mind, but they seem happy, and she seems like a nice person so I’m trying to be supportive, in spite of my concerns. (He’s never been the most accommodating person in his past relationships. He lives alone and likes things HIS way. She’s never set foot in Canada, and has married him and agreed to move here. )My family thinks I am just being negative and unsupportive, so I keep those concerns to myself now. The immediate problem lies with the reception he is planning for the summer. He would like everyone in our immediate family and some close friends, to come to Turkey. For my husband and I, this meant putting our own long-planned honeymoon off yet again - (my husband and I got married in a simple ceremony at the height of covid and put off our honeymoon due to travel restrictions at the time)At first we said yes, but in the pricing out of the trip, we will need to blow all of our hard-saved honeymoon money and then some. We can’t take too much time off work, so we would, essentially be spending anywhere from $4-7K to parachute in for 3-4 days. On top of this, my brother has been a bit of an asshole - treating us like an inconvenience when we asked for details (more than the date and the city - like, what neighbourhood should we stay in, what hotels are good/not so good, where is the ceremony, what time of day? I know these are not unreasonable things to ask as I’ve been married twice myself!). It has culminated in a fight, where he stopped speaking to me. To date, he’s not said a word to me for 3 weeks. Typically we would text most days. So we’re deciding not to go. I feel terribly guilty but I don’t know if I should….help!
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AITA for refusing my brother’s destination wedding?
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NTA
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10vt7md
|
I have been diagnosed with young onset Parkinson's disease in 2004 when my kids were only 2and 5. As the years have gone by, nearly 20 years i have a problem brushing my hair and teeth every day and also showering every day. Do i have a valid reason as these seemingly tasks are monumental to me.It is truly difficult to take care of yourself by yourself. Parkinson's steals our self esteem
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AITA if I don't brush my teeth every day
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NTA
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10vg9rp
|
I’ve been living with my in laws for the past 2 years and we’ve all (mil, fil, husband and I ) have been on multiple weekend getaways together. We had also planned inter city and international travels together but got cancelled for some or the other reason ( not me refusing to go) I’ve been on a weekend getaway with them just 2 months back. I was reluctant, but my husband convinced me so I went along. Now my in laws want to go on a trip and my husband without asking me said yes to them. I just don’t want to go on another trip, coz a) I just went but my husband doesn’t consider that a “trip” since it was only a weekend; andB) I just don’t gel with my in laws that well from my end. At home we are all doing our own thing, but on a trip ( which is an international trip for 6 NIGHTS) is too much of them to handle. For me. I don’t want to speak for them.Even on these weekend trips my husbands notices I am usually quiet and I don’t even speak with him much. We ended up fighting coz I refused to go. He’s calling me selfish and rude coz he really wants yo go and I am refusing.I told my husband to go without me. Is it really that bad?! I would go with my parents alone if he didn’t want to come. I know his parents won’t care as much as long as my husband goes. Makes sense, he’s their son.
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AITA for refusing on going on a trip with my in-laws, when I just went on one 2 months back?
|
NTA
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10vne8x
|
Myself and friends 1+2+3 have had a lot of good times. Skiing, biking, travelling etc. I introduced them all to each other about \~3 years ago. The've been my core group of friends and we're all living far from home.I've a tendancy to want to help people do things I think they should do and I often get overly excited about doing it. Since friend 3 moved here, I've helped him:Get a car. Find a house to buy. Get a new bike, followed by bikes 2-4 as he got better and wanted upgrades. Get a job with my employer. Get an upgrade on his phone. With snowboarding and getting all the right gear.I tend to pester people about this. Especially if they say how "overwhelmed" they are or how "nothing ever goes right for them". That's bait to me.I found out I have ADHD about two years ago, bought a house needing renovations six hours away with no real way to pay it off. Bought and sold \~15 cars, purely as I get bored of them. Travel as much as I can and often rack up debt in doing so. Take liberty with working remotely by skiing or collecting home reno supplies from far away.I can be wreckless and annoying to someone with a contrasting personality.I've REALLY been working on this for the past two years.The problems arose when friend 3 didn't do his part:The car was an enthusiast one, but he didn't do preventative maintenance and it's constantly let him down. My identical car had been faultless. My house turned out to be a lucrative buy and he could have bought the house across the street for similar money to me. He took too long to think about it and a cash offer was accepted a few days later. He made money on each of the bikes he bought, but each had issue that arose with them from lack of maintenance. He got the job, hated it and left two years later. He followed me snowboarding onto a jump where he went way faster and hurt himself. I brought him to hospital (everyone else said it was bruising). Stayed with him for the night and he had a broken pelvis. I'm blamed for all of the above.9 months ago, my phone contract ended. He was a line on my account. I found a new monthly deal where we'd be paying 1/3 of our existing rate, he just had to buy out his contract. He didn't like his phone, so gave it to his mom and used his old phone (blamed me for recommending it). I offered to pay it and he'd pay the same as his existing rate until I was paid back (still saving money).This pushed him over the edge and he swore he wouldn't talk to me again. I messaged him saying "I still wanted to be friends". Friends 1 and 2 have stepped back and said "it's between you two" as they want to see it as "six of one, half a dozen of the other". Every time I left town to work on my house, they'd meet up knowing they could just say I "wasn't around".For the last nine months I've been pretty alone, with friend 1 and 2 sharing less about their lives with me. AITA?
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AITA because I pushed my friend into making decisions?
|
ESH
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10vvemh
|
I have a friend (20F) that I met at group therapy back in the summer. She was having issues with her dad not being there and having a new family, she seemed nice but broken. I kinda related so I talked to her for a few days and we swapped numbers. She quit going to therapy a few weeks later.She uses me as an emotional dumping ground, every single day. For every problem in her life and undealt with childhood trauma. It’s almost like she can’t think for herself, she comes to me with everything. Whether it’s problems with herself, her dad, problems with her mom, problems with relatives, problems with people online, etc. It’s getting to be too much. I’ve also found out per her sister that she made up several stories to me, about what her mom or dad said to her and just her general home life. She portrays her parents as horrific people. They are pretty lenient and very few expectations. She grew up spoiled and got whatever she wanted which is the opposite of what she told me. (Her parents aren’t millionaires but upper middle class) She’s made up horrible stories about them and situations with relatives that never happened, accused her relatives of doing things they never did. She posted pictures with the relatives in question. But she said they stopped talking years ago. She tried to play it off as old pictures, when it’s clearly recent. If I call her out on a lie, she covers it up with another lie. Always has a story ready to go. She doesn’t get along with people on social media and portrays herself to be this extremely arrogant wealthy person, who travels all the time, who parties all the time, she brags about everything she has, she pretends to be on vacations and pretends she flies private, pretends her parents are millionaires, she even goes by a fake name and location. She comes to me with what people are saying about her, everyday. None of it is positive, yet she feeds off of the negativity and she says awful things back about them and makes fun of them. I have asked her why she keeps doing it and she gets mad and tells me to stay out of it. She’s been doing that everyday for months.I feel like it’s the same stuff, different day. I have given her numbers for help in our area, I have given her links to self help books, I have suggested going back to therapy. I have tried to be a supportive friend, she gets mad when I say anything positive about her. She’s so wrapped up in the social media drama that she created. Either that or drama at home which is also of her doing. She ignores what I have to say when I try to give advice and keeps going on and on about the same things. She will send me text after text, if I don’t answer. Keep calling my phone. Get mad at me if I say I’m busy. If I tell her about anything in my life, she ignores it and talks about hers. It’s very one sided convos and it’s been like that for a while now. She has turned into a pretentious bully, it’s not the same girl I met back in the summer.
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WIBTA if I made up a lie about dealing with family issues to my friend, as a reason to end the friendship?
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NTA
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10vnb9k
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TLDR: I feed feral cats, my neighbor doesn't like it and is leaving bags of cat poop on my property.I moved into my current house - a duplex - in March of 2020. There was a colony of feral cats that hung out on the property, and the previous tenant left food and water out for them, especially during the hot Phoenix summers. Houses up and down the street do the same thing; there are at least like six colonies on our street. So I've kept up feeding them and grown to like them - they're cute and entertaining. My duplex neighbor, who lives in a converted garage behind my house, also feeds them.Late last year, a new family moved in next door, and the owner doesn't like cats. He asked me if I would stop feeding them, because he was allergic and he didn't like cats near his house.I told him I'd think about it, but that lots of houses on this block feed them, and they weren't likely to just go away if I stopped. They've been here longer than us. I'm not inclined to stop feeding them.Since then, I've found several bags full of cat poop on my front porch. My duplex neighbor who lives behind me also found a bag of cat poop apparently thrown over the fence.Am I being an asshole?​EDITED TO ADD: The cats had their ears tipped when we moved in. Since then, we found a few new ones and attempted to Trap/neuter/release but weren't successful. I have a friend who is a veterinarian and I consult with her.EDITED AGAIN: My local SPCA doesn't pick up feral cats, as far as I can tell.
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AITA: Feeding feral cats
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YTA
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10vjs3d
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I (18F) have recently moved out of my mums house. She lives at home with my two younger brothers. I moved out and moved 300 miles away for university, however I have since dropped out but I decided to stay in the area and move into my boyfriends house (he lives near the uni I went to). My mum has been sick for some time now. She has fibromyalgia and some other conditions, as well as having to look after my two younger siblings who both have behavioural issues. She’s a strong woman and I do feel sorry for her. Since moving in with my boyfriend, I have started a new job and began a new life here. However, my mum has recently had to have some tests as she has suspected cancer. Since then, she has been on my back about me moving back up to her home and wanting me to move back in so I can help her, as if she was to be diagnosed with cancer, she would need a lot of help. I understand this, but I have started a new life here and I do not want to drop everything to help her. All of my family live near her, including my older brother who still lives at home. My brother works and lives at home rent free. He is expected to do no housework, and if she asks him to do something, he always says no and she just accepts it? Why does he not have to help but I do, despite being so far away. I don’t understand why she’s putting so much pressure on me to move back home when she has a lot of people to help her anyway. If I was to move back home, she would want me to cook, clean and do all the childcare. I would not be able to have my own life, not even a job. I have only recently turned 18, and I don’t wanna waste my early adulthood on this. I am more than happy to help her. Since moving out, I still do childcare. I sit and play games with my brothers via FaceTime and even send money as gifts for them. During the school holidays, I can even offer a place for my brothers to stay if they wanna come down and spend some time with me for the week and give my mum a break. I do not know what to do, and I don’t know if this makes me incredibly selfish or not. She’s putting a lot of pressure on me. She hasn’t even got a diagnosis yet. I know it can be a scary time for anyone. The sheer anticipation of waiting for the test results must be awful. This is the second time she’s had to go through this, the first time luckily didn’t amount to anything, and wasn’t cancer. Every time she gets a letter in the post from the doctor, she sends a picture to me, like she’s trying to get it to stick it my head that she might have cancer. Almost like she’s trying to scare me. She reminds me almost everyday, sending texts that’s she might have cancer. It’s making me very stressed, and I do not want my family to hate me for not moving back up to help. AITA?
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AITA for not moving back home to help my sick mother?
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NTA
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10vwphc
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I recently found out that my friend (Sarah) is dating a friend of a friend (Michael). I do not like Michael. Sarah told me that she is dating Michael, and upon seeing my shocked face was very curious to know what I knew about him. I told her about my previous experiences with him, some things and interactions I didn’t like, etc. I also told her that I think my opinion of him shouldn’t influence her too much and that people change for the better and to see where it goes and form her own opinions.I mentioned everything above to a couple close friends, and they both said that although I didn’t do anything wrong, they personally would have said as little as possible, and just let Sarah form her own opinions. I also know that Michael would be absolutely pissed if/when he finds out that I said anything about him. I feel justified saying what I said because if describing Michael’s actions and behaviors makes him look like a shitty/undesirable person, well, maybe he is a shitty person, and I don’t owe it to him to try and hide that fact from others. I do feel a little bad for Michael though, because I don’t know him super well and because people can change and should have some opportunity for fresh starts. But I also think it’s kinda girl/friend code to tell your friend what you know, if they want to know, about the person they’re seeking a relationship with.
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AITA for telling my friend information about the guy (who I also know) she just started dating?
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NTA
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10vqnes
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I know it sounds terrible, but let me explain first. For context, my mom is an alcoholic as she has been throughout my whole life. A few weeks ago, she got so drunk that she fell right on her arm and broke it (This isn’t the first time she’s broken a bone over drinking too much alcohol) It was late & i got awoken by her screaming bloody murder and tried to help her off the floor because i didn’t know what was wrong. She started screaming obscenities at me and just being really mean and loud, overstimulated and panicking i left and hid in my room as my brother and my moms bf tried to help her. She did the same thing to them. I then hear her yelling across the house that we don’t give a fuck about her and how she hates us and wants us all dead and we never checked on her, and it really upset me because obviously all of us tried to help. her boyfriend tried explaining that we did in fact check on her, but she was being delusional. I yelled at her boyfriend and told her this is exactly why he needs to make sure she’s more responsible with alcohol, and i told my mom if i didn’t care about her i wouldn’t be standing there (at this point i was in the kitchen and they were on the couch and my living room is next to my kitchen) My mom then randomly brought up my father (deceased) and told me that on valentine’s day before he died, he got her a dozen roses, 6 dead because their love was “half alive because she decided to keep us” i absolutely lost it at that point. at that point i probably blacked out from rage and blew off on her. she hid under the covers and didn’t say anything after i was done. I told her she was awful for that and she had no reason to bring up my dad like that & basically called her out for being a raging alcoholic and that’s why my dad probably left(it’s kinda blurry i just know i was really mean) Since my mom broke her arm, Shes been asking me to do things i'm uncomfortable with, such as changing her and wiping her ass. If i refuse it, she makes me feel awful and says "oh i get it all my kids hate me and are gonna put me in a nursing home one day." She doesn’t ask my twin brother anything, and I think it's because he told her she needs to learn how to do shit by herself, as he has had a broken arm before and has trained himself to use his other hand for tasks and writing. Or maybe it’s just plain favoritism or i’m her favorite target to pick on because she feels like she can get a reaction out of me. She keeps asking me why I have an attitude and i’ve stayed silent, but the truth is i don’t want to be around her. Being around her gets me in a really bad mood and it’s just really draining. I’ve thrown myself into work just to get out of the house because being around her is bad for my mental health. She probably knows it and likes to start shit which is why she won’t leave me alone.
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AITA for getting angry when my narcissist mom (with a broken arm) asks me for help?
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NTA
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10vsm0z
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I (22f) just got engaged last year. I never was a person that wanted a wedding as I don’t want to deal with the stress and money. However my fiancé wanted a wedding so we agreed to have one and I’m trying to make it the best we can both enjoy. When I was deciding to chose my moh I was stuck between two friends for privacy reasons I won’t use real names friend “A” (22f) has known me for almost 10 years and recently moved away 5ish hrs away. Friend “B” (40f) is a coworker and we became really good friends and have a like a motherly/daughter but also friend kinda of friendship. I see a moh as not only someone who is close to me but who will be there for me every step of the way and take stress of me of wedding planning and really take on the role and knowledgeable. Because what I saw the role of moh doing I chose friend B. I love friend A but she won’t be available as much to plan or be there in big moments like dress shopping. I sent a message when friend A asked me who I chose and I explained to her my reasons and how I love her but I really need the most support as I am really bad with stress and overthinking. She said okay but since then she keeps asking me over and over again if she’s the maid of honor and my friend matron instead which I didn’t want to do as they both don’t know each other very well and having to juggle between both of them and keeping them updated and the same page seemed to much stressful for me. I kept declining and sweetly reminding that friend B is my moh. Today she asked again during a call and I jokingly said “girl i told you so many time lol” and again said friend B is my moh. She just said “just making sure!” And I told her to give me a second and I guess she thought I was away from my phone and started to talk to her mom about how I didn’t choose her but she can’t say anything to me because it’s my choice and how I asked her to me my moh and I changed my mind which is not true I said I was thinking between her and friend “B” but I didn’t have a decision yet at the time. And I just feel bad because I felt like I let her and her family down when I’ve known them for a long time. Everyone thought I was going to chose her because she’s known me longer and I guess I thought being a moh was much more than who knows you longer and has a important role. Did I make a mistake? So AITA for not choosing my friend of ten years to me my moh?
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AITA for not choosing my best friend of 10 yrs to be my moh?
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NTA
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10vwn59
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I’m 21. This was when I was working at Walmart last year. My mom and stepdad always tried to pawn my siblings off on me so they could go out and do whatever and didn’t care about what I had to do. They called me at work and asked if I could use my paid protected time off(which is limited and hard to build up considering you only get 48 hours per year of it) I said no and they got upset and said Im the big sister that I should be willing to help. That I should drop whatever I’m doing to help my siblings bc they raised me and that I owe it to them. That’s when I got upset and said “You’re just lazy and never parented your kids and expected everyone else to do it for you. I’m not leaving work. I need the money so I can get my own apartment to get away from this environment.”Later that day I got texts from family telling me I’m selfish and should care about my brother more. I was receiving messages telling me I’m a bad daughter and that I don’t care about my brother! AITA?Update I moved out of my moms months ago.
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AITA for refusing to leave work to watch my brother?
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NTA
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10vwlu4
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I'm 27F. The guys in my group often post "funny" videos about women saying "stupid stuffs" then they'll insult the woman in the video, calling them dumb etc. They never post any "funny" videos about men, only women.When I see that I somehow get irritated. I can't really explain how or why.. I usually get irritated the most when a girl there also say things like "stupid bitch" to the woman in the video. I keep wondering "You're also a woman, why would you do that"But when I say my opinion, they'll dismiss me. They said that I'm too overly sensitive.Am I the asshole here that I get irritated?
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AITA for getting annoyed at guys making fun of girls on a video
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NTA
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10vv127
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I do not mean any disrespect to anyone, and I do love her a lot. I'm (23M) in law school currently, in August I will start my master's from a very reputed law school in a different city that offers considerably well paying jobs. I am expected to do well after this. Right now i live with my Family, which is just my parents and my sister (25f) , My Girlfriend (23f) lives with her extended family of 30+ people. My girlfriend has never been academically well to do, She still got into a local college and got a simple BA degree, which is pretty much useless to be perfectly honest. All offers she got were low paying jobs which were even open to High School Graduates as well so she declined them. It has been 2 years since she graduated, she does give the exam for MBA entrance, but different people have different skills and this just isn't something she's good at. Whenever I've brought it up it has led to arguments so I've stopped talking about her career and have accepted it. She does work around the house , cooking and cleaning and decorating. She is really good at cooking and makes everything that i like to eat really well, even better than my mother. She's made it clear to me and her parents that she doesn't like living with such a big family, and when i got the good news that i am accepted for masters we celebrated and a few days later she tells me that she has a surprise , her parents have agreed to let her go with me for my master's. We'd get an apartment for a year and live together. But the thing is, i never asked her for this. I don't earn any money as of now. Internship stipends are not even enough to cover personal expenses like going out shopping and fuel, even then i end up asking money from my father every now and then. Again i do love her and will be marrying her, but that's after i get a job. I haven't talked to my father about this yet, i know what he is going to say. He isn't sending me there to party and try new things in my relationship, this is an opportunity for me to improve my skills and worth In society. Living alone i can manage on a very tight budget, also don't want to like put her in a situation where she has to live on a tight budget when there is no need for it. My sister said to me that i am a horrible person for even thinking this way and if i love her I'll take her with me everywhere, but when i asked her to pay for us she made a horrible joke and walked away, typical of her. I am going to tell my girlfriend that it's not possible and she'd have to wait till I get a job. Am I the asshole for not wanting to ask my parents to pay for a separate apartment and expenses of two people for a whole year?
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AITA if i decline an offer to live with my girlfriend?
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YTA
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10vgvr8
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I (29F) have been seeing this client (25M) for about 18 months now. When we started, he was very overweight. He made great progress and lost all that fat and is in a much better place now. About a year in, he started to start building abs, then his progress stalled then subsequently rapidly increased. I was very proud of him and thought he was doing a lot of work on his own, but this weekend he told me he’d been taking certain PEDs (the specific one he’s on is illegal though not really enforced). I was pretty disappointed to hear this and told him he needs to stop for his long-term health. He got very upset, said some not nice things, and that he’s not stopping. I can understand why he got emotional considering how he’s stalled, so I can forgive the stuff he’s said, but I told him I’d stop working with him unless he agreed to stop and take random tests. I mean he can always just find a trainer who is okay with this, though it won’t be at this studio, which he really likes. He’s not responded yet, but I was thinking, is he right, is it really my business? Am I being unreasonable? Thanks in advance.
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AITA for threatening to drop my personal training client if he continues to use performance enhancing drugs?
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NTA
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10vrbjo
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So for some context, about a week ago my mom threw me out and I've been staying with my grandma ever since. I've been sleeping in her living room which doesn't allow for a lot of alone time until she goes to bed. My grandmother takes care of my second cousin N (27f) and my first cousin S (6f, not important to the story). Throughout N's mom's pregnancy, she smoke, drank, did drugs, etc. That caused N to be special needs and my grandmother took her in to raise her (N's mom didn't want her). She has a hard time understanding certain things (like she overstayed her welcome). Now onto the main event.So after watching some TV with my grandma, she heads to bed with S. N doesn't have a set bedtime, and neither do I. So after they head to bed N goes to her room for the night. I decide to go into the kitchen while my mattress blows up. I notice a mango close to rotting on the counter and decide to give it to her. I take the mango to her room and all is well. I return to the bed and get the idea to "please" myself and get to it. Abt halfway through I hear N coming down the hall and quickly stop. She goes to the kitchen to cut up the mango (she waited a long time before going to cut it up). Although irritated I understand that it was my fault for not cutting it for her or leaving it for the next day. I wait for her to finish until she comes freaking out because she cut up the mango after her eating curfew (she can't eat after 9, I didn't know this). So I calm her down and tell her to just put it in the fridge and eat it tomorrow. She puts it into the fridge and I expect her to go back to her room but she instead sits down on a nearby couch and starts a conversation. Even though Im still irritated I try to be nice and smile. She notices my discomfort and tells me she told grandma that she thinks I hate her (this isn't her first time randomly starting long conversations with me late at night but I never said anything). I decided to tell the truth. I told her that I don't hate her but enjoyed my alone time. I explain that it's not just a her thing, that I would feel this way abt anyone. She didn't understand and said, "I get it but you came here so u and I could spend some time together". This isn't true and when I first came here she was informed abt why I came here. I correct her and tell her that I'm not here to visit anyone, that I'm here because I had nowhere else to go. She started to cry and I started to raise my voice a little and said smth like "I have a lot on my plate rn and I need my alone time!". I know that I shouldn't have done that but at that point I just wanted her to leave. I calm down a little bit and restate my previous points in a nicer way and she begins to stop crying. She says she understands and leaves after saying gn. I feel rlly bad because I never meant to hurt her. I'm also scared she's going to tell my grandma and kick me out. So Reddit, AITA?
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AITA for telling my disabled cousin to leave me alone?
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YTA
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10vmpmc
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I (34m) have two friends, Justin (42m) and Sarah(29f). Sarah and Justin have never met.I am close friends with both but neither have met the other. I’ve known Justin for ten years and I’ve known Sarah for about four months.Justin is the man I turn to whenever I amUpset or need support. Sarah and I have a similar relationship.Two weeks ago, Sarah and I got into a nasty fight. She lost her temper and threw some pretty bad insults my way. One of which involved why I was single. I’ve been single for a while and confided in her that it depressed me so for her to throw it at me hurt. A lot. I was so upset, that I didn’t eat the next day.First person I called was Justin. Naturally he was angry about what he heard. Justin called her toxic and told me I should never talk to her again.Well Sarah and I talked and made up. Yesterday Sarah asked me if she can come with me to Justin’s Super Bowl party. I said no because Justin doesn’t want her there after what I said. Sarah is upset I spoke about the fight to a third party. She said I slandered her.I may be TA because I told a friend about our private spat. But I see it as me seeking comfort from an independent friend.
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AITA for getting a friend excluded from a superbowl party?
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NTA
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10vw9y5
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I (33f) have family in Italy but live in another European country (approximately 3000km’s away). My father is Italian and he and my mother go visit the country every year. I have a brother (40m) who is married to my SIL (37f) and they have 2 kids (10m and 7m). I am also married to my husband (34m) and we have also 2 kids (2f and a newborn baby boy). For me it has been 5 years that I had the possibility to go to Italy and visit my family. We were planning to go in 2020 but then covid came and the last 2 years, there were medical issues that Made it impossible to leave the country. My brother and his family visited Italy 2 times in the meanwhile. As everything is better for us medical wise, me and my husband are considering going to Italy this summer. My parents are also there and we always stay at their place (a 3 bedroom appartment with 1 bathroom). My parents are very excited that we are finally able to visit the country after such a long time. Our family living in Italy have never met our kids yet. This weekend my brother mentions that he is also planning to visit with his family and this during the same period as I was planning to. He told us that he has already booked the arrangements to take the trip. In all honesty, I don’t think it is feasible to stay with 10 people in the appartment. I told him this and he blew up on me and my mother that he will never visit Italy again. It Made me feel like the AH, but I was just trying to open up a conversation about it. So am I the AH?
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AITA for not wanting to go on a vacation with my family?
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NTA
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10vjjxx
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I (20M) have decided I want to purchase a tarantula as a pet for some companionship during my times at college. I live in an apartment with 4 other guys (all of us have private bedrooms) and 3 of them are fine with me getting a tarantula, but the other one... not so much. He claims that the presence of a tarantula in the apartment would freak him out, and even though it would be in my own private room (and he would never have to see it), I am NOT allowed to get one. We are already getting some pet frogs and he loves that idea, but he will not allow me to get my own tarantula. AITA for getting one anyways?edit: I haven’t gotten the tarantula yet
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AITA for getting a pet tarantula when my roommate has already said no
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YTA
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10vqp6u
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Sorry for any formatting issues, mobile is difficult to work with. I (15F) have a cousin (14F), we'll call her Ava, who typically comes to my room to gossip whenever they visit, then disappear until they have to leave. Throughout the last year or so, they've been ranting to me about how they were dating so and so, dumped them, started dating blah blah, rinse and repeat. These 'relationships' last a week at the very least. And every time, they always talk bad about their exes. Some of them, I understand. One guy who can't take a hint, cheating, etc. But then there's ones where Ava seems to be all over them, then treats them like a speck of dust. For example, she liked... let's say Ryan. She would gush over Ryan's hair, talk about nothing else, yet claims she loves him. Then suddenly, two weeks later, he's a monster the next time she comes to gossip. I honestly cannot grasp my head around the fact that they've dated well over 10-15 people at this point, and somehow all of them are in the wrong. And again, I do understand some were cheaters and one, with proof on her end, could not take a hint after they broke it off. I'm just at a loss here because I feel like she leaves out a lot of important details or blows things way out of proportion. So, AITA for thinking she might be the problem?
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AITA for thinking that my cousin may be the problem?
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NTA
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10vvzsv
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I (17 F) am always “negative” according to my mother (44 F). She is alwyas saying i’m negative and saying i’m alwyas so hard to be around. Here is an example of when i am negative as such. So my little brother (14 M) hates doing chores as we all do. Well while im doing my chores ( which is the bulk of the house since i am the only girl out of all 4 kids) and i ask him if he can clean the living room. Easy enough right? wrong. he comes downstairs and pickes up some trahs off th ground and obviously there’s more to do like put shoes away and hang up coats and such.He goes back upstairs to go do whatever he wants. I of ouse see the dirty living room and he is nowhere to be seen and of couse i tell his name so that he comes down and cleans what i told him to clean. i am frustrated because this happens almost on a daily basis. he comes down and i have to tel him step by step what to do. why he can’t just do it without me telling him to “put away the shoes” i have no idea but it’s not ideal for oth of us and i want him to do his chores even thought this is one of the easiest things to do in the house. i am of course being rude i am stressed and annoyed that he can’t prolly do his job. he finally finishes after all that and goes upstairs. my mom however is not happy. she will always take his side in anything. She says “well he doesn’t want to do anything for you because your so rude and negative” meanwhile my brother won’t listen, is very rude, and impatient and constant saying he doesn’t want to do it. She says i an way to negative and need to take a more positive look on life saying “i’m starting to hate being around you”. and we always get into argue ments. saying that i’m so rude to him and need to be more nice. WHY can’t he be more nice? why do i have to be the person of change? it’s getting very frustrating and annoying how she will no matter what happens choose his side over mine. obviously i want to have a good relationship with my brother and mom but if my brother is doing something obviously wrong i will call him out for it, a little rude yes but i don’t know how else i would handle the situation. and my mom will te me i’m being rude and most times i cry after because it’s stressful and hurtful to hear your mom say change yourself you suck your brother can do no harm.
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AITA for being always negative towards my family.
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NTA
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10vl8f7
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Throwaway and on mobile, all fake namesSo the issue is that I (18F) forgot to attend my friend's (19M) father's vigil this past Friday but I also don't really feel bad for it. Backstory:I think it's important to mention that I used to be really close friends with him, who will now be called James. But we haven't really hung out or even talked to each other since late September. Anytime I would want to hang out with him and his boyfriend (20M) Jacob, I would need to set up the time, location and activity. We used to all set up details together but that was 6 months ago or more.Our group had a falling out when James and Jacob would always side with the bully of the group and they let our friend Alex(19NB) leave the group instead of the bully which didn't sit right with me. The last time we did hang out was in November to visit Alex who lives 45 min away. Jacob and James didn't want to drive because it seemed to both Alex and I that they didn't really care if they went to see Alex or not. Before this I would say hi to them if I saw them and we might have a 3 minute conversation if that. I am just trying to establish that I didn't really know anything about them anymore and we weren't really close friends anymore. Now to the problem. This past Christmas James told me that his dad had passed a couple of days after the 25th. I responded with the usual "oh no my condolences reach out to me if you need anything I'm here for you." However when he first told me my first thought was oh well and I was ready to move on with my life. I have never had a conversation with James' father ever in the 5+ years I have known him. I didn't tell James my reaction because I am not an idiot but that's the last I thought of it.Until this past Tuesday when James mentioned that his dad's vigil would be Friday. When I first read the text I thought that I probably shouldn't go because I had such an insensitive reaction to his death and I didn't want James to be more hurt. Then I literally forgot to reply to the text. I did not commit to going or ever said anything like that.Well this Saturday Jacob texted me and asked why I didn't go and I told him I forgot and that I had screwed up not saying anything. Jacob then started going after me saying I am a horrible friend and that I should be there comforting James in his time of need.But reaching out is a two way street and neither one of them have tried reaching out to me for months? So reddit AITA because I forgot to respond to the message and have not contacted James back?
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AITA for not responding and keeping up with my friend in his time of need?
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YTA
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10vtsnx
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AITA for not reaching out to my now ex-bestfriend after she repeatedly abandoned me and ignored me?I 15f recently got in a fight with my best friend 16f, basically she's been dating her boyfriend 16m for a year now and he does not allow her to hang out with anyone but him at school ever. I have known my friend for about 1 1/2 years and we were instantly close after we met through our sport. Everything was fine last year, we didn't have the same lunch before but we would hang out on weekends, text non-stop, talk every passing period possible, and talk during practices, and we would always confide in eachother. Lately however (past couple months) I had been inviting her to just as many things as normal and she would say no to everything or say she would then back out. Then since school started I've needed to talk once cause I was super stressed and had some news to share and so I asked for 1 single lunch to hang out and talk like we used to so we could talk, she didn't show up, gave no excuse, and we didn't talk for a week until she finally apologized. Getting back to it, I finally confronted her and asked her how we are friends if she never wants to hang out, talk, and I am only her online friend pretty much that she calls whenever she has an issue. We went back and forward for a while then after I thought I started to get my point across, she flipped out and accused me of something and then when I calmly defended myself she just never responded and we have been ignoring eachother for a week now. My friends and family all think I should reach out again but idk what to do because she not only ignored me but insulted me too. If you have any questions please ask so that you can give the most informed decision. Thanks
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AITA for not reaching out to my now ex-bestfriend after she repeatedly abandoned me and ignored me?
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NTA
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10vr00t
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For the sake of this post i'll refer to myself as Anne and my sister as Jane. My sister jane had severe mental health problems as a child and was in and out of psych wards for years. At the time I tried to be a better sister to her bc I did feel I caused most of it due to bullying her when we were kids. I apologized to her over and over for it. Basically in highschool I started subconsciously coping her, isolating myself from ppl making fun of myself in my head and directing hate at myself and thought it felt so good. I liked being alone and the feeling of self hatred and it basically led to me going from a healthy weight to a very dangerous low weight somewhere in the 60s. I became addicted to making myself feel as miserable as possible taking a bunch of ap classes and three languages to put pressure on myself and would stay up all night feeling good when I deprived my body of sleep and water and food and stopping brushing my hair till it got so matted it needed to be cut off. This continued all through out high school I kept it to myself and no one cared in my family and I liked knowing that. The thing is it was all fake I convinced myself of all these lies that I was worthless, disgusting and a burden to make myself sad so i could be like my sister Jane but my sister truly felt this way I did not. Last year I fell down the tiktok rabbit hole and tried to convince myself I was autistic just like my sister and subconciously acted autistic and I was angry and jealous of my sister that she gets to be special and have a reason to be weird I don't as I am just a failed human who failed to launch as I am not in collage or have a job currently but there is nothing preventing me from doing so. I know that was very wrong of me, I was bambarding my friend with all these fake struggles just to feel validated. Well I ended up trying to tell my dad about my "depression" and possible "autism" he blew up at me and called me a faker which he was absolutely right about and an attention seeker again it was true. Aita for faking autism and mental health?
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AITA for faking mental health struggles and a disabilty?
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YTA
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10vlm2c
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So I (m/26) have been dating my gf (f/27) for 4 months now. Things have been great, we have alot in common, and i get along well with her family for the most part. But, our main arguments lately have been about her parents refusal to allow her to spend the night with me at my apartment. I have told her repeatedly that she is too old to be asking for permission and that she needs to put her foot down or her parents will never change and I worry they will begin interfering in other aspects of our life.​For some background: my gf still lives with her parents, but she has a full time job, her own vehicle, does not smoke or drink, or even go out unless it's with me or her sister, and even pays some rent to her parents. But they will not allow her to stay with me and will call and text if she's out with me "too late" usually around 10pm saying it's time to go home. She tells me she has tried talking to them multiple times but it gets her nowhere and has even told them how it's not fair that they let her younger brother (m/21) spend the night at his girlfriend's and they have flat out told her it's because he's a male. We made plans to spend Thanksgiving, New Years, and a few random nights together but each time her parents will not allow her. Last week we got into an argument over it and we spent maybe 2 hours talking about it late at night. I had a text from her dad asking where she was and when i called him, he said how they were worried and about to go looking for her, and how i need to make sure "it doesn't happen again". I didn't have my phone on me and i never heard hers go off so i did not know they were even reaching out. She had another conversation with them and at first they said she was grown and knew what she was doing so we decided to spend the night that weekend. Well she comes over and at 11pm they start telling her to go home. We got into a huge fight over it and i said some hurtful things like "i want to be in an adult relationship", and "you need to tell them to fuck off". Granted i could've worded things better but i let my frustration get the best of me. I told her i hate having my time with her dictated by others and how we have to put plans on hold (like going on trips) because of her parents. She mentioned that her dad told her before we even met that as long as she lives there, she needs to come home for the night. My gf is asking me for patience and understanding and that eventually they will ease up, but it's getting more and more difficult for me to accept the situation.I have asked why she's so afraid of standing up to them and she tells me it's because she does not want to strain her relationship with them and is concerned they will kick her out, for which she does not have the money to move out right now, so she wants me to respect their wishes. Am i the asshole for asking her to stand up to her parents?
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AITA for telling my girlfriend that she needs to stand up to her parents?
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YTA
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10vuy1c
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A few months ago I started dating a girl with a psychological disorder, but she's still just an amazing girl and it doesn't really affect our relationship (despite the distance). Obviously I know that this brings difficult situations and that the way to deal with it is different, there's always one more concern, but that's okay, because since I asked her to date I knew I would deal with things like that. At the end of last year, we agreed that we were going to meet each other's families and so I went to spend 10 days at her grandmother's house and when I returned, I asked my mother if my girlfriend could spend New Year's Eve with me, even to meet them and what I received was a nice scolding disguised as advice. For other reasons, we ended up not spending New Year's Eve together and we agreed that on the first weekend of this year, I would bring her to my house and then she could meet my parents. As soon as she arrived here, my mother treated her with a certain indifference and my father, when arrived, the same way. I was a little bummed about it, but I wasn't going to let it ruin the weekend with her. On Sunday, I drove her home and came back in the afternoon. At night, my parents called me and they just started talking very badly about my girlfriend, saying things like "She's incapable", "You're going to jail" and even saying that "We try so hard for you to be successful and you show up with such a problem here at home". My father almost forced me to break up with her, saying that if I didn't, he wouldn't help me anymore. It destroyed me, it made me feel so bad that I went back to having depressing thoughts and a certain desire to give up on life. I felt so guilty simply for loving my girlfriend that it made me look for therapy for the nearest day possible, simply because I couldn't take it. It went away for a while, I was in a bad mood with my parents for a week, but every time I said something about my girlfriend, they scowled. This weekend, for health reasons, my girlfriend had to go back to live with her grandmother and as she was going to take a lot of things, I went with her to help and to spend the weekend with her. My parents were very against the idea to the point that when I was leaving, they said "You know you're upsetting us. You've never given us heartbreak until now". And I left the house on Friday again with that weight of guilt, but I enjoyed the weekend and enjoyed the time I had with my love. Today when I came back, my mother has a kind of frown on me and said that my father is sad and depressed around the corners, crying because of me and now, again, I have this huge weight of guilt for all of this. Relevant observation: She is 23 years old and I am 20, that is, exactly: AdultsSo, am I the asshole?
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AITA for prioritizing my happiness over my parents' wishes?
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NTA
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10vqbsb
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My best friend (19F) and I (20F) have been living together for 6 months now and recently had an argument that may lead to her getting kicked out. We have been really good friends for about 10 years. For college my father sold our house and bought a townhouse near campus for me. I know she is a messy person, since we have met she has never had a clean bedroom. Before moving in together she said she would make an effort to keep the common space clean and her bedroom isn’t my concern which is fine with me. I like to keep a clean space, while I don’t deep clean I will pull out a vacuum and wipes if I notice something. I also don’t like seeing the sink full with dishes so I often unload/load the dishwasher. The one chore I don’t do is the trash because I feel I do enough around the house and she has been taking it out ever since we moved in, never complaining about me not doing it. Though, she doesn’t do it regularly and it often overflows. That’s where the argument started. She sent a message saying “can I set a new rule for us? If you see trash actively opening the lid and one of us knows it’s full. We have to take it out and not just shove more trash on top”. To me this is basically asking me to take part in her one chore when I’m already doing the other 5 chores. When I tried to explain this to her I was met with a paragraph of text calling me a martyr because I never asked her to do any of that stuff and that she was forced to do trash even though this is how things have been for the last 6 months. When I suggested taking out the trash more often so it doesn’t pile up (which I don’t find to be much more inconvenient and she agreed in the past) she just said no and that she isn’t asking much. To try n fix this my bf set up a chore list and tried to throw into that conversation that she needs to cleanup after cooking because recently her food rotted on the stove for days. Her reason? She’s often “too high” to clean afterwards. Another reasoning for her never helping w vacuuming and other chores is because I never asked her. I wasn’t aware I needed to treat her like my child. I no longer want to speak to her because she hasn’t apologized. Was I wrong for leaving trash for her to do without explicitly saying it and not asking her to help me with the other chores?
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AITA for doing every chore?
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NTA
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10vmcns
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So I (24m) live with Dan and Rob (both 24m). The three of us have been friends our entire lives. Dan has a girlfriend, Cass. So call us immature but a running joke we’ve had amongst the three of us for years is that we “pants” each other (pull down each other’s pants). We would never do it in public and it’s not like we do it excessively but it’s just an inside joke and no one minds it. Granted we’ve never explicitly said that it doesn’t bother us but all three of us have done it to each other countless times by now. So the other day the four of us are drinking and I pants Dan. All of us laugh we move on. But later I get a giant text from Cass saying that I was disrespectful to both her and Dan to do that. Now granted I know for a fact Cass has seen Dan in his underwear (the two of them have come out of his room in the morning when ge hasn’t had pants on) so I’m baffled. I didn’t answer her. So I talked to Dan and said I didn’t realize the pantsing bothered him and he just acted confused and said it didn’t. I told him about the text and he said he’d talk to Cass. Now I got a long text from Cass saying I’m causing an argument between her and Dan. AITA?EDIT: Should have clarified. Underwear stayed on
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AITA for pulling down my roommate’s pants in front of his girlfriend and our other roommate?
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YTA
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10vusar
|
I am a 16 year old male who enjoys playing games. My father hates them with a burning passion, last night I was playing and he told me to get off, I said sure and told him I would get off after this game, he said ok and left my room. I came out five minutes later after I finished my game, he then proceeds to tell me he was about done with my "fucking video games" and said I had been on for 5 hours, I told him it was only 2 hours and showed him my play time to prove it. He then called me "fucking psychotic" and said I couldn't play for a week. Am I in the wrong?
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AITA for playing video games
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NTA
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10vwul2
|
I live across the world from my home country for many years and my dad has never come visit, not even for my graduation. I asked my dad when was he gonna come visit now that I have a LO. Apparently he didn’t want to come at all but he wouldn’t directly say it. Every time I mentioned it he would get extremely worked up and certain that he’ll 1)pass out from high blood pressure on the plane 2)get lost and locked up at the connecting flight country 3)being put in a black box by customs and sent to a hotel to quarantine for 2 weeks with expensive rates. When I said those aren’t likely to happen to him. He lost his shit and yelled at me for not keeping up with the news, hung up and started texting and character attacking me. Saying that I wouldn’t survive being extremely co dependent, I tried to make him lose all his money, and I wanted to munch on him. I told him if he didn’t want to come he could just say and I won’t ask anymore. He kept on berating me as a person. I’m unemployed and I’ve been living on the rent of a property that I inherited from my mother. He said the rent shouldve been his bc he paid the inheritance taxes for me. I’ve been sending him my baby’s pictures, now im thinking about keeping minimal contact and no more pictures of LO. AITA for asking him to come over?
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AITA for asking my dad to come see my newborn baby and help out
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NTA
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10vsqd5
|
My brother, "James," (31) has not spoken more than a couple of words to me (29F) for over 3 years. My parents really want us to mend our relationship, but I don't know how or even if I want to. For backstory, we have never gotten along. We were both horrible to each other in different ways growing up and that has led to a lot of resentment between us. I won't go into detail about what he did, but I was a jerk for calling him stupid a lot. I got better grades than him and was mean about it. He is actually way smarter than me in most ways, I just liked school so I did well in that environment. I realized what an AH I was as a kid and have tried to apologize and make an effort to be kinder to him since I figured it out. He was also awful to me in other ways, but has never apologized or shown any regret. I think because he feels justified for it. 3 years ago we had to share a room during a family gathering and he was watching a show while I was trying to go to sleep. I asked him to wear headphones, but he said he couldn't. I don't know why he couldn't. He said he was trying to keep himself awake because a friend who was struggling with something was going to call him. I have sensory perception disorder and struggle with noises and definitely can't sleep with a TV show on. We argued for a bit, I called him selfish (which I admit was wrong, especially if he was trying to be a good friend), and went to sleep in my car. It sounds dramatic, and probably was, but I was tired and it was the only option at 2 am. I just wanted to remove myself from the situation and go to sleep. Since then, he won't speak more than a couple of words at a time to me and only if I initiate. I tried to apologize several times in the following months, but he would ignore me. Christmas of that year I wrote him a letter apologizing and got him a thoughtful gift. I'm pretty sure they both went in the trash. Recently my parents keep bringing up how they want us to mend our relationship, but I feel like it isn't my responsibility at this point since I've already tried. I love my brother, but it's exhausting. Obviously it's deeper than that, but am I really that much of an AH for sleeping in my car that it warrants his behavior? WIBTA if I don't try anymore?
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AITA for Sleeping in My Car Three Years Ago
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NTA
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10vsq61
|
Hi! School just started back today and in one of my classes I have sat in this same spot for around 3 years now. Since school started this year someone else has been sitting in that seat and although it doesnt really seem like a big deal my new spot feels quite isolated so I don’t feel as comfortable as i was in my old spot. Would I be an asshole if I turned up to class earlier just to make sure I got that spot ive had for the past 3 years?Note: I have asked the person sitting there if I could have it back and they flat out said no.
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AITA for wanting to ‘steal’ my classroom seat back?
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NTA
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10vnkuo
|
The title explains itself but, I (14F) are supposed to pick the classes I want to do for high school in a couple days. Some people not really sure who came down to the middle school to explain what the programs and classes were, how much credits we needed etc. Enrollments start on February 10th, but they said it was a good idea to start thinking about it. I already had most of my classes figured out like algebra 1, psychical science and more. But then electives came. One of the people said it was better to leave some extra period to study in, and my original plan was to do that. I had picked to do concert band which took place every other day. So the days I didn't have the band practice would be a free period to study or chill. I was actually excited to sighn up for classes, and my friends thought it was a good idea too.Well I started talking about it during dinner with my parents, and my dad seemed to get snappy when I said that I already have enough credits to be ready for each year to graduate. But, when I told him that I had picked only concert band so I could have extra periods to study he didn't like it. Both me and him went back and forth a lot till I got super upset about it.Eventually it got to the point where both of us were yelling at eachother, and he started saying stuff like 'your family feels different and has the final say' crap or something. He brought up what career I wanted to do and said I probably had no clue. He was right about that, but it wasn't my main priority. He brought up the fact that he went through all the grades, and went to college so he knew better. I just told him I was doing what the people told me was a good idea for freshman's. But, he didn't agree with it then called me a spoiled brat, self centered, and a cry baby since I was crying.I wasn't originally trying to argue but told me to just be rational about this. At that point I was so upset I didn't even listen to him, and my mom wasn't saying anything helpful to me. I just just got up, and went to my room crying. He took away my phone, but that didn't bother me. I'm just going to give in because fighting with him isn't helping my situation. I have an idea of just what to pick, and if stops us arguing then its fine. I have calmed down, and I did overreact with the crying it was more of a heat in the moment type thing. But, this is why I usually never tell him things I pick since it will usually end up in a argument. But am I the asshole here?
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AITA for not originally agreeing to picking another elective for freshman year?
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NTA
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10vke79
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My (24M) GF (23F) got an oil change today. She called me and told me it was expensive for her, being a broke post-grad student. I was like huh? For a simple oil change? She explained that when she was there the guy said they should also check and top off all her fluids. He also said the last person who changed her oil left the plastic oil filter cap on too tight so if they accidentally broke it she'd have to buy a new one that's all shiny and metal.So I was like oh, well next time just say you want your oil changed and that's it. That some guys will see clueless people, usually women, and try to upsell them crazy bullshit that they don't need. I told her that he should have been more careful and that if he broke it, she shouldn't have to pay. At the very least, just replace the one you broke with a similar one and maybe she pays for the part only. Or that I could just get a genuine part for less than the shop was trying to sell.I thought I was putting her on game. She got super silent and then told me she was telling me that out of pride for accomplishing something and that we should change the subject because she just wanted to share something good.I picked my battle, obliged and said I was proud of her for getting her oil changed. But it was an annoying conversation for the both of us apparently. Am I the asshole?
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AITA for insinuating to my GF that sometimes guys at car shops will try to upsell clueless people ridiculous things they don't need after she paid $150+ for an oil change?
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YTA
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10vogwi
|
Financial context: My(23M) girlfriend(24F) has been living with me for one year and before she moved in we had a talk and I told her the only way it would work is if she pays $400 twice a month so that I know she’s serious about living with me and because I didn’t want the added expense of her living with me to slow my progress towards my goals. (I had just gotten my first apartment and I wanted to fully furnish it which it took me 8 months and 20k to do.) I get $2,500 every two weeks after tax and after paying for our expenses, bills, entertainment, our phone bills etc. I’m left with between $600 and $900 every two weeks and that’s what I’ve been using to furnish my home for the past year. What I ask:Her only contribution besides $400 twice a month (cost of living: $4,000 minimum before trips) is cook the food I buy for us both (typically once or twice a day depending on if we’re working that day) and keep the place clean. She makes most of the mess and it’s not a big apartment.Where I could be the asshole:I can’t get her to cook or clean and i took over cooking for myself because she kept throwing it in my face when I brought up cleaning but now she still doesn’t clean. She has had 3 jobs and quit 2 of them leaving me to pay her share for 5 months total. I’m not sure if maybe I’m not seeing her perspective but I literally don’t ask for anything else. When we go on vacations I provide 100% of it. The plane ride, food, activities, hotels/cabins/Airbnbs and she just has to show up and have fun. I’m starting to feel used and taken advantage of and I communicated all of my concerns but nothing has changed. I’ve had her say things like “it’s your cat” or “it’s your clothes” and sure but I don’t say “it’s your job why do I have to take you” “it’s your food why do I have to pay” “it’s your phone bill/phone/hygiene/clothes” I do all I can to provide her with a comfortable life. All I ask is that she stop leaving a mess all over the house and keep it clean. TLDR: 1. I pay for just about everything, living expenses, vacations/outings, her new phone and bill so she could have a super computer in her pocket to make her life easier. Anything she’s asked for within reason and everything we could possibly need. I take her to and from work or I buy her bus passes for when I can’t. 2. She quit her jobs without having a backup plan even though I told her that was a bad idea leading me to have to pay her promised portion for months which brings her total non paid months to 5 and she’s only been here 10 months 3. I can’t get her to cook or clean and so I took over cooking for myself so that she could focus on cleaning and that didn’t work either. 4. making me feel used and unappreciated which I have communicated to no avail.Maybe I’m not seeing it from her POV but if I were in her shoes being spoiled and provided for the least I could do is keep the house I live in for almost free clean and cook the food I don’t have to pay for to show I appreciate it
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AITA for expecting more from my girlfriend?
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NTA
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10vsij1
|
I’m not even sure how I got into my current predicament but I will do my best to give an unbiased account. We were recently on a short road trip with one of his friends. Throughout the day I kept getting picked on. Comments like “if you don’t know about it then just shut the fuck up” when I suggested something and “I’ve been done with this conversation for like 30 minutes” when I was talking about naming our business and asking his opinion. And weird comments that I assumed were joking at lunch like “if you don’t start finishing all your food I’m gonna stop buying it”. Eventually I got fed up and decided to take his comment to heart and shut the fuck up. I said nothing and was just silent and indifferent and gave short responses. I was tired of being embarrassed in public and in front of his friend and just in general. Then we got home and I went and took care of the dogs and unpacked and then suddenly he was short with me when I tried to help him bring stuff into the house. He said he was “tired of my attitude” and that “there are four rooms go pick one” so again I did. I chose our room obviously bc I wasn’t going to pretend I did something worthy of giving up my bed. And I took a shower made my own dinner and went to bed all while he avoided being in the same room as me. He is off work this week and so I got up this morning and got ready and left and then came home from work and still no words have been exchanged. Now over 24hours and I’m not sure if it’s me or him controlling the silence but I’m over it. But not over it enough to apologize, even if I did have the attitude first, does that make me the asshole?
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AITA? My fiancé (32M) and I (27F) are in the silent treatment and I refuse to give in first…am I the asshole?
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NTA
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10vubb9
|
Hey guys so here’s a fun one for y’all to tear up because I probably am the asshole. So I (18f) got engaged to my partner (18f) a couple days before she left for basic training. I love my lady to death but long distance is fucking killing me. We live together and have for the past 6 months, I have never felt more alone than I do now that I have no contact with her. Because there’s no context it’s really been having me think about my life and if I’m ready to be with one person and my answer keeps coming to a no. My parents got together at 14 and are now divorced and have many regrets of not spending their youth finding the right one. I am very worried that, that is something I am going to regret. I really don’t think I’m ready for marriage but I love my fiancé so much. I don’t know how to tell her this and for it to end with us still together. When we told my family about us getting engaged I wanted to wait until she got to know the family a little better, when I told her this she got pretty upset and kinda pressured me into telling my whole family because “I shouldn’t be worried about what they think”. I’m really close with my family and I don’t really bring my partners around them. I have brought my fiancé around but only around my main family like first cousins and grandparents type family. I am pretty close with the rest of my family and they have only met her once. I am the first grandchild of the family to be getting engaged even though our relationship is the newest one compared to my cousins. Whatever flash forward to now and she has about 2.5 weeks left of basic training and I have been having these thoughts of if I am ready or not and I really don’t think I am. So AITA for wanting to take things down a step? And can I please have some advice I am #strugglingEdit: forgot to add in how because she is going to be in the military a lot of things are being rushed, liked for example if we want to live together for any part of the next 6 years we will have to be married. This shit is so dumb.
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AITA for wanting to break off an engagement but stay together
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NTA
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10vk7kt
|
My mother in law who has been uninvolved with anyone/single most of my wife's upbringing is very active in our twins' lives, she babysits often (10-15 nights yearly). There's never been a worry about a boyfriend or strangers around our children when she has them! She about a year ago rekindled a relationship with her high school sweetheart, and they are moving together in their hometown. Nobody We know has met this man, nor has my partner. My wife is incredibly protective of our children's safety and emotions (they are 5) homeschooled, and truly smarter than most. During this year mother in law has made ZERO effort to introduce us to this man, and has actually made attempts to keep privacy. They spend time with mother in laws family and he Is supposedly a wonderful person. There's nothing that has been told to us that says this man is of poor character until about 2 weeks ago we have been told that once they build their lifelong home at the lake (they already own the lake plot) that the kids will NOT be welcome unless they fully know how to swim. They assume the house will be done in 2 years, and while our kids are in swim lessons, love water, and will more than likely be swimming at this point, my wife is livid. She told her mother "I am not going to expect out children to learn a skill to come stay with grandma, this man hasn't even met out children and Is more concerned with their skills" mother in law then continues on about how WHEN the twins come stay for a week, without us of course. My wife is now absolutely livid that her mother thinks that we will send the kids of to her and this man for a week without getting to meet him for a significant amount of time. Are we assholes?Editing to add information. We have never asked Mother in law for free childcare we live 12 hours away and have always made the trip when she calls and asks for this time.Also our kids are incredibly confident in lifejackets, can go tubing, jet-sking, have jumped off double decker boats, and literally won't even go near a pool without one on. They respect water heavily and do not want to take the jackets off at this time (they won't even remove them for swim class) no matter how hard we try. Vmother and law and boyfriend are unhappy with this.
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AITAH mother in law overstepping?
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YTA
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10vwhr6
|
Me (17M) and my friend group (all 17M) have been around each other for around 6 years. We are not very good at social interactions and we are not good at social cues. This is important, it think.My friend (lets call him Carl) was complaining about a teacher "discriminating" against him. So basically he has a bad reputation of not doing work and lying to the teacher about it. He claims he was being discriminated against because a recent teacher sent him to the counselor to get work done (when he did finish his work) , while another kid (who did less work than him) did not get sent to the counselors office.We meet at our hangout spot and I'm talking to my teacher about Elden Ring and I hear the argument. I ask one of the guys (lets call him Frank) wtf is going on and he explains the entire thing. Frank was saying that it was Carl's fault because of his bad reputation and to go easy on the teacher since she was new.Carl appears distressed but not too much (the kind of distress when you are annoyed with a teacher rambling, at least I think), and claims that he is going to get revenge against the teacher by "acting like a bitch around her". I tell him to chill tf out since the teacher is new, and he shrugs it off, and Frank calls him immature for doing so and childish.I decide to make a snide remark, to try and lighten the mood as it is getting a little tense, and I turn to Frank and say: "Most Mature Marine" (Carl was joining the Marines). Frank makes a comment saying lightheartedly: "No wonder they eat crayons".Right then, Carl gets up and leaves the room saying: "Good Luck" and just leaves. We are all stunned since that is the first time he has done that and right now we're all a bit worried. Me and Frank especially since we are wondering if we said the wrong thing at the wrong time causing him to walk away.So Reddit, AITA?
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AITA for making a joke about my friend.
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NTA
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10vgrho
|
I walked into my mom holding the dog on her lap and cutting up her fur with my razor. I think it’s quite unhygienic to share shaving equipment with other people, let alone dogs.Before my mom could shave off anymore, i snatched it from her, making sure it was far enough from the dog.OP: why would you use my stuff? Didn’t you buy a shaving set for them a few months ago?Mom: yeah but yours is better and easier to use.OP: but why on earth would you use MY stuff on the dogsAt this point, i realized my mother really didn’t see why that was a problem and i just gave up because i wasn’t in the mood for another debate that would end nowhere. Everyone is calling me a dick in the way I reacted but I was genuinely shocked.
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AITA for not letting my mom use my shaving equipment on our dogs?
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NTA
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10vwgni
|
I (40M) have 2 kids, Matt (16M) and Macy (16F). Macy has a lot of mental health issues including schizophrenia which she has a therapist for and has had her mental health pretty well controlled. I was recently tidying up her room a bit, since she has a hard time maintaining her own space that I like to help her out a bit. I was putting some clothes away in her drawers when I notice a bunch of bottles of soda filled with pee. I was confused as hell, because one how would a female be able to pee into a soda bottle with ease, and two since when did Macy drink so much soda to have all of these bottles? She isn't a huge soda drinker compared to Matt, who drinks it a lot and would have an easier time peeing in the bottles for obvious reasons. When they got home from school, I sat down with Matt and asked him why he stashes so many bottles of piss in his sisters room. He was confused and asked me WTF was I talking about, but I told him I know he likes to pull pranks on his sister and that all of these bottles are the kinds of soda he drinks. He brought up his sisters strange habits and behaviors she usually has while she is psychotic and how depressed she tends to be, but I didn't buy his argument and told him that his prank was nasty and he shouldn't be going into his sisters room without permission anyway. My wife is upset with me for not listening to him and ignoring the possibility that it's Macy, but I have a hard time believing that. AITA?
|
AITA for grounding my son after he put piss bottles in his sisters drawers?
|
YTA
|
10vn393
|
Ok, a bit of context here. (BTW, english isn't my first language so expect gramatical errors) I (18M) am in highschool, and I have this friend of mine (18M). He isn't the smartest student out there, and his habits doesn't make it any better. He doesn't pay attention in classes, he sleeps through them and sometimes he even skips them. He only texts me to ask for the homework, ask for help in something or those type of things. So, as you can see, by his own he would probably repeated year like 2 or 3 times. I'm going to be honest, his projects are AWFUL, not remotely close to what the teacher asked for, and it's not because he doesn't understand the topic or the teacher is bad at teaching, it's all because he doesnt makes any effort on paying attention and improving his works wich all look like a thing a 5 year old kid would do on Sunday night. I usually help him because normally it doesn't takes me a long time, and I even correct some minimal mistakes on his works so he can get a good grade.Now, the problem is, I'm getting tired from this, I am feeling used. So for the last months, I have slowly started to ignore his messages and/or pretend I didn't see them. And if empathy wins, I only help him with what he exactly asked help for, but he hasn't stopped. Now, into the real problem. Everytime we have a project, he sends me his the night before, so I can check it and correct him. I have told him that I'm not the teacher, and that I have no idea if its correct the way he did it (Now, obviously I should have an idea, but I say this hoping he gets that I don't really like spending the night reading someone elses project and correcting it).Since I decided to stop helping him. Everytime he sends me a homework or a project, I say "Yep, perfect mate" and proceed to ignore him. This gave him a confidence boost, because he tought he was becoming smarter by not needing me to correct his works. But this has brought consequences, wich can be seen on his grades, he has gone from B's to C's or even F's (Not sure if the conversions are well made since my country uses a different system, but you get the idea).It's pretty obvious why this has happened, it's my fault for letting him deliver those badly made projects, and he's on the verge of failing three subjects, and on top of that, he's getting depressed by thinking the teachers simply don't like him and give him a bad grade on a "Well made" work.TL;DR AITA for not correcting my friends homeworks and projects, letting him get bad grades and risking his year?
|
AITA for not letting my friend know his whole school project is wrong?
|
YTA
|
10vicon
|
Me and my husband (both25) currently have a lease ending next month. We have a 1 year old and I’m 9 months pregnant with our second son.I live 100 miles away from all my family and friends and I’ve been incredibly lonely. I haven’t made any friends living here for the past 3 years and his family couldn’t care less about ours.So it’s just us all alone with no support System. I really really suffered with bad ppd with my first and as soon as I started getting better I found out I was pregnant again.Anyways my family are super supportive, they visit us every 3 months when they can and they’re always calling for us and I wouldn’t know where I’d be without my family and friends.I’ve been bidding on social housing in my families area for the past 5 months with the intention of getting out of this lonely hellhole. And they called us on Friday telling me we’ve been accepted for a brand new 2 bed new build 50% market rent in the city centre. It’s also a lifetime assured tenancy, it’s somewhere I can decorate, paint and make my own for our little boys.I felt so overjoyed and happy. It’s literally a once in a lifetime opportunity. Our marriage has been super rocky and he told me he’s not signing the lease. I don’t earn enough for the threshold.I’m stunned, he knew my plans to leave and he admitted to me he didn’t think I had a chance of finding anything.I feel like this is a marriage breaker. I gave my life to him and the kids for the past 3 years. We always had plans to be closer to my family. And now he wants to switch up.He told me he’s going to divorce me if I speak on it any further. He admitted he doesn’t plan on helping me during postpartum again. And we each have our roles in the house.I run a online shop that will cover the rent, food and childcare expenses but I just don’t meet the threshold. I’ve been paying the rent for this current house for a year anyways.I told him pls just sign it and we can go our separate ways. I won’t ever ask him for a penny and we can move on in life.He refused get to be petty. But I’m so so angry. I told him he’s ruined my life and he’s a c***AITA.Regarding getting my family on the lease instead, I will have to make a brand new application and restart the bidding process. This is the last batch of new builds they have in the building. I literally gave up a month ago because we got rejected for the 4th time and now we’ve been accepted.
|
AITA for calling my husband a rude word for not signing a lease
|
NTA
|
10vqcjz
|
I (24F) attended a friend's 24th birthday party Saturday and had some issues. There were only four of us there, and two of the girls got drunk (totally allowed since one of them was the birthday girl). As they started to drink, they got more belligerent toward me like calling me a racist (I was talking about how white my ancestry is, and I swear that's it) as a joke, but that's not my humor type and also made the other non-drunk girl uncomfortable.The problem arises when they started making fun of me for being trash at some of the games we played. Not too harmful. I'm not going to be good at everything, and no one really wins with Uno. As the night went on, they got a little drunker and started cheating at games while still making these comments to me. I called her out on it and she claimed she wasn't cheating (she used her face to save a Jenga tower and would right down three or four points when they only got two).Anyway, I understand that this wasn't the correct response and apologized to her and explained my family was cutthroat with games growing up, so it's something I'm working to undo. She thanked me for apologizing and I missed the text, so I texted back today (Monday) saying, "I'm trying to apologize when I realize I've done things wrong. Life is a learning process dude" (because we've both had mental health issues we're working through). The next thing I know, she's blowing up on me saying that people don't have to accept apologies or forget that you hurt them because you apologized. And I agreed and just tried to explain that apologizing a while after the fact was something I had to learn because I didn't use to and I would beat myself up for things that people didn't even care about (I've learned this since getting better at apologizing when we're out of a tense situation). She hit me with, "You're going to keep apologizing when you've already apologize? I already acknowledged it." I tried to explain that wasn't what I was trying to say. And she ended it with "Okay, so maybe in the future instead of dwelling on not getting the response you want to your apology, how about lets just move forward, yeah?" To which I responded, "That's not exactly what I meant with what I said, but I'd like to move forward."I'm not sure how this blew up into such a big thing. And this isn't the first time she's blown up over a miscommunication and treated me poorly. She asked me for advice on an outfit and I said she looked cute, but I don't like tightly tucked in shirts on any girl because I just don't feel that it's the most flattering and said I would wear something over it if it were me and she said I called her fat (I've struggled with an ED, so I would never call someone fat. I gave her my opinion as a friend). I'm just not sure where this miscommunication happened and what I said to upset her. Am I the asshole for texting her today to acknowledge the text?
|
AITA For Apologizing to my Friend
|
NTA
|
10vw42f
|
I had one cat I adopted him since he is 3, and now he is around 8. He is a good friend but a very loud one(seriously loud).I had a distanced(CA, TX) girlfriend, and we planned to get married asap. She wants me to move in with her now, and we plan to have a kid asap. The problem is that she already had two cats at her place, with her roommate. However, she is willing to try to introduce my cat to hers. But it sounds like if things go wrong, my cat has to go (she did not say it, but you know what...) and I shouldn't complain about it. I could also just leave the cat at my house alone... to have my best buddy come over every few days, but that makes me feel worse... I'm not extremely upset about this situation, but if anything went south, I guess i have to choose one over another. Either way, I guess I'm the asshole here..‐--------Just fill in some details, For marriage, I spent half time each month with her, then flew back to cat for the past two years, 24 months. And now I'm extremely tired flying around every two weeks, so I proposed I want to take the cat there to have a try.Meanwhile, when i was not here, my roommate was taking care of my cat. Last November, he moved out to a nearby city for a job, so I've been in Texas till now to decide what to do. My former roommate proposed he can adopt the cat, but he can't do that until his new house is ready, which could be as early as April, or we don't know when.
|
AITA thinking rehome my cat
|
YTA
|
10vjhkc
|
Some context. I (25f) have 3 roommates: Jessie (25f), Casey (26f), Parker (25f) (fake names). Jessie and Casey moved in in August and did not know each other prior. Parker and I have been living in this apartment the last 2 years and have become good friends. We have all been on good terms as in there have not been incidents or arguments. The previous 2 roommates moved out to live with their partners. In the living room is the only TV in the apartment. It is my TV that was originally in my room but I moved it to the living room bc the last roommate took their TV when they moved out. In the kitchen, I have a beer fridge where I put my nice craft beer. I’m talking limited release beer that people wait in line for and it’s known this is not a communal fridge.Story:On Saturday evening, I was hanging out in the living room getting ready to play video games with my online friends. About 30 min into playing video games, J’s friend arrived. I overheard them talking about how Jessie and Casey were expecting about 20 people to show up that night. They all stayed in the kitchen area and no one came into the living room while I was there. Jessie and Casey never mentioned to Parker or myself about having a party that night. I went into the kitchen twice to grab water and said hi to the people I passed. Jessie and Casey didn’t acknowledge me when I walked passed them. I finished playing and went to bed around midnight and the party was still going on. When I got up the next morning I noticed that some of my food had been eaten and some of my craft beer had been drank. I’m not sure exactly how much was drank, I only know it happened because I saw the bottles in the trash. I group texted everyone that I found my food and a bottle of my beer in the trash and would like to be compensated for them. Parker came to my room to apologize for what happened but said she wasn’t aware they were going to be having a party. Jessie and Casey never responded to me and instead I caught them cleaning kitchen and asked if they got my text. They said they did and then called me out for asking money for a few beers. I was visibly upset and I tried to explain that these werent just beers you could get at a liquor store but then they said I was the asshole for hogging the living room even though I saw they had people over. I told them they didn’t tell me or Parker about the party and if they did I wouldnt have stuck around or they could have talked to me when I was in living room. The conversation ended with them just ignoring me. I requested money on Venmo for about what I thought was taken from me. It was declined and they instead paid half of what I was asking for. They have continued to ignore me even when we are passing through the common spaces.AITA for staying in the living room while they threw a party I wasn’t aware was planned? Should I have gone into my room once I realized they were having a party?
|
AITA for “hogging” the living room during my roommates’ party
|
NTA
|
10vi4mn
|
My husband, I and our two kids live with my FIL in a house that we own. My husband works full time 6 days a week and my FIL works two days a week. My husband and I handle all of the bills except “rent” my FIL pays that. He has a habit of calling into work for no reason other than he doesn’t feel like going. Now I’m not upset about that. That’s his thing he has to figure it out. What I’m upset about is the fact that I’m treated like a maid in my own house. I pick up after myself my husband and our children because that’s my job. But my fil expects me to clean up after him too. He NEVER does the dishes. He cooks sometimes and that’s his reasoning behind not doing the dishes. Which I get but he cooks once or twice a month so I’m not sure why he doesn’t help out otherwise. I clean everything else including the shared bathroom. Recently we went out of state for a weekend and there was dishes when we left. I figured my fil would have maybe gotten them done but sure enough when we got home they weren’t done and he added onto them. I deep cleaned the whole kitchen and he already has it nasty again. I’m at a loss on what to do.
|
WIBTA for asking my FIL to pitch in around the house?
|
NTA
|
10vjc7b
|
Me - f18Dad - m49​My mum, f40, recently went abroad to see her family for the first time in years. Prior to leaving, she expressed her concerns with me about me being forced to basically maintain the house and become a temporary mum while she was gone and I had exams (not a crazy percentage of my degree, but it's my first proper exam season and my mum is aware of how i cannot handle exams and find them absolutely suffocating).She went abroad, and to quite a large extent, this is what exactly happened - however as I had expected it to happen, and didn't hold much hope for anything else. To give a description, my brothers and I are the only ones that ever washed dishes and my dad hadn't washed a single cup/plate/cutlery while she was abroad.One of the many issues that arose was me paying for a lot of stuff, groceries, stuff to cook, food my brother, his cabs home from school because dad couldn't pick him up, etc.Now I told my dad I expect him to pay me back for these expenses, and he said that was fine.​Cut to yesterday, he asked me about how much he owed me and in conversation stated the figure of £40. The groceries alone are more than triple this. In the past, my dad has had a bad history of paying me back for anything, and I told him a few months ago that if he didn't pay me back, I'd stop lending him money.Now, I want this money back because it is a large figure and it's my money and I have every right to it. However I also know that my dad will not likely pay the full sum.I was trying to come up with ideas on how to show him the amount of money he owes me, so I could get it back and I thought of giving him an itemized bill with all my expenses laid out clearly.However I'm not sure if this is excessive, or if I'm crossing a line, because this is still my father.AITA?
|
WIBTA if i gave my dad an itemized bill?
|
NTA
|
10vq2lc
|
My boyfriend (24M) and I (25F) are very open about past relationships, abuse and insecurities we have experienced, and we talk through things pretty well. During one of our conversations, he brought up that he had a previous "friends with benefits" type situation with a female coworker. We'll call her "Cassie". This eventually ended due to Cassie wanting to have an actual relationship but him being unable to view her in that way, but respectfully wanting to remain friends.Lately we have been spending a lot of time together. I'm very adamant about not wanting him neglecting his time with friends to have more time with me. I appreciate the time we get, but I don't want his friendships to suffer as a result. Though I've met some of his friends, there are a few that he has mentioned often I haven't met, one of them surprisingly being Cassie.Today he lets me know he's going out with a group of friends after work, and that Cassie will also be there since another coworker friend Max (M) will be joining them. At first I wasn't bothered, until he also mentioned that most of the time will be spent with Max and Cassie, and less time with the group as a whole. He asked if I was alright with this or if I'd prefer him cut the time with them shorter. I was honestly, saying I wouldn't be comfortable but didn't want him to have less time with them.Now I'm left with my insecurities, feeling really uncomfortable and unhappy with myself for not just taking his original offer of not spending the evening with them. Every time she's been mentioned, I've gotten nervous or upset but I don't always tell him this or I push it aside and simply listen. WIBTA if I asked him to not spend more time with her outside of work, or to cut the time they do spend together short?
|
WIBTA for asking my bf to spend less time with his female coworker/friend?
|
YWNBTA
|
10vvwoe
|
My roommate is having me kicked out because I was unable to get a job "in time" (keep in mind the job market sucks even for retail, and she only gave me like 3 months) and because apparently my phone calls are too loud and she supposedly is losing sleep over them.One major thing is that she is an intimidating person and leaves me feeling unsafe. She once stood in the kitchen at 4 AM to scare me, and I called the cops because I felt unsafe, who said they would send a car out. She claimed this never happened, because they legally would have to send a car out. And she has this alibi that she supposedly was drinking water. (Going to mention she clearly has psychosis.)I straight up told her tonight that once I move out, I would get a restraining order to prevent her from ever working with vulnerable adults again. She claimed she would sue me for defamation, and that I would have to pay her legal fees for years to come. I calmly told her that in that case, I would not sign the form to get my name off the lease early. She claimed I would be unable to afford the "legal complications" and that it would make it difficult for me to go on disability, get housing, and whatever nonsense. And like the scum she is, she got one of her lawyers to put her in touch with 3 crook lawyers over this.AITA? I just want my world to not be a trainwreck of this girl's drama. And I have several friends across the country who can testify she is crazy. All she has is a bunch of middle aged people she works with.
|
AITA for not signing the lease break against my roommate's will?
|
YTA
|
10vtex2
|
My best friend and I (both 17F) have known each other for 4 years, and I honestly don’t know where I would be without her; she has changed my life for the better and I love her like a sister. We have a rocky past though, we always got along but for a period of time a group of girls at our middle school peer-pressured her into bullying me and some other people. After I transferred schools she told me she was sorry and explained how they manipulated her into bullying me and doing some other shitty stuff, but we have been friends ever since.We have supported each other through good and bad times. We both have mood disorders but over the time I have gotten better through therapy and medication, and while she has also started her path to recovery we are not at the same point yet.She has been having trouble with another group of people at her high school and this has swallowed her completely for a year now but I think she’s starting to find some peace inside of her.What bothers me about her is that she can’t stop talking about her problems, I always try to turn our conversations the other way around and while we do talk about other things it seems to me like she isn’t interested in anything else. I know everyone at her school, and I know she’s friends with most of her classmates but I don’t know how to console her anymore when the assholes come at her again.Added to that, these jerks are not *just* after her, they talk shit about everyone at their school and even some of the other people they hang out with (like me) who have nothing to do with the drama, but every time she talks about this she frames herself as the only one getting harassed and has recently started saying it’s just her “main character energy”I know how much all of this hurts her, but it’s overwhelming for me, I want to tell her to stop acting like the main character and to look around at how everyone is affected in the same way by the same people, that she’s not the only one they’re targeting and that I would like to talk about the good things in life with her, but I’m scared she’s going to take it in a bad way or that it’s going to have a negative impact on her mental health.I don’t want to cut contact but it has become increasingly difficult to maintain a healthy relationship when we are at vastly different points in our mental health journeys.So reddit, would I be the asshole if I told her to look around and realize she is not the main character?Edit: I slightly changed the vocabulary used in this post so that my internal conflict doesn’t sound like the plot for a disney channel tween movie
|
WIBTA if I told my friend she is not the main character?
|
NTA
|
10vjp1u
|
I (23M) live with my parents (45F and 48M) and my severely disabled sister (22F, she doesn't move, she doesn't talk, she doesn't do anything. Some people called people like her "a vegetable"). I have also disabled gf (19F). I'm earning 1200$ per month from my work. I'm living in a country, that you can live in comfort on your own for 1,000$ and the minimal wage is 650$ net.My parents don't know about my girlfiend. At least I didn't tell them about her. I'm affraid that mother started her bullshit about "some Internet girl that is more important that family". She always using to argumentum ad onlinefriendum. "Let your online friends cook for you" or "Go to your online friends, see if they can help you"Today my mom started a war. She telled me that I should pay more. My father doesn't give her any money. He started his own business and it's not going well. She started yelling at us that WE (me and my dad) don't give her more money, and she pays everything for us.We started adding up all the bills, food, etc. The calculations were rounded up. 4 people generate 1080$ bills and other costs. I paid her 250$ - exact one quarter of all costs. Also, I eat in restaurant sometimes (8 days in month - university days and a meeting with my gf), so the costs are going down to 950$. I'm repaying my loans (200$/month). I'm paying for my university (200$). I have left 550$. It's a lot, but I'm saving money to move out. I have also gf. I want to go out with her sometimes.She said, that she receives $1,000 in Social Security.I said that I will not pay more. She started her bullshit about "my online friends and how they are more important than family and that I'm going out for the whole weekends with them and spending lot of money there". Yeah, I am sleeping in my gf house then.I understand, that father doesn't pay her enough. In the past, there were also problems with him paying money for me and my sister. But he is not my husband. I don't want to pay for his mistakes. I have enough my problems.Should I pay more to her? AITA for not wanting to pay her more money?
|
AITA for not wanting to pay more money?
|
NTA
|
10vt5xs
|
So this involves me, and three friends, Nathan, Xavier and Tally- all fake names (For context we are all in high school)To put it bluntly, I've had a crush on Nathan for a while. This isn't just based on looks or a short passing crush. I've been dealing with these feelings for months, I really like them. I told Xavier and Tally about this a while ago, because I needed someone to talk to. I started hinting to Nathan that I liked them, and they were clear they didn't like me back. I wish that had been the end of my feelings but Nathan is one of my closest friends, and I spend a lot of time with them, so these feelings are still there.Then, a week or so after Nathan rejecting me, I find out Nathan and Xavier are dating. Honestly I was hurt because Xavier knew I liked Nathan and that I still had feelings, but Nathan and Xavier have been friends longer then anyone else, and they are really good people, so I got over my little feelings of jealousy and supported them.Or that's what I thought. Turns out I wasn't okay as I originally thought, it was killing me to see them lovey-dovey with each other while we hung out. So I decided I needed some space to deal with my feelings.On Friday I sent them both a text basically says "hey, you guys are awesome people and I support your relationship, but for me, my own mental health and the future of our friendship, I need some distance right now."So today when I went to school, they both left me alone, understanding that I needed space. Turns out though, they may be angry at me. I tried to talk to Tally today during class (we sit next to each other in bio). Tally is our mutual friend, and one of the best people I know. So I wasn't expecting her to lash out at me saying "How could you do that to Xavier and Nathan? It was selfish for you to ghost them like that because of your little crush."Apparently they have been going around telling people I ghosted them for no reason and I was being a horrible friend. Therefore the reason I came to Reddit. I am neuro-divergent and don't pick up on a lot of social cues, which has caused problems in the past. So am I the asshole here?
|
AITA for wanting some space?
|
NTA
|
10vt5q4
|
So I (17F) haven’t had the best relationship with my mom, she has been mentally abusive since I was younger. Now that my 18th birthday is coming up in a few months I was thinking about how I wanted to spend it, my original idea was to fly down to a national park with my long distance boyfriend and spend 2 weeks there. I can’t afford a plane ticket so I thought another way I would want to spend it was to rent a hotel room all alone, order thai or Indian food (which my mom hates and would complain about the entire time), watch a movie, and go to bed early. I struggled horribly with depression and my mom didn’t show much interest in much of my life (from my perspective) so when I told her I wanted to spend my birthday all alone she became very angry with me and told me “it was my right to spend your 18th with you”. In the last few years of every single one of my birthdays she has found something to yell at be about even if I just sat still or slept in for the day. While I do see her point she won’t listen to my side of why I am wanting this, if I bring it up she starts to become a victim and goes and acts very sad on the couch. This is the only thing she has interest in but even if I talk about it she changes the subject to something about her work, it often feels like I can’t talk about things in my life so I don’t. Am I the asshole for wanting to spend my birthday in a way that will make me happy?
|
AITA for not wanting to spend my birthday with my mom?
|
NTA
|
10vr4wg
|
Hey everyone so to start off, I have online friends I meant through gaming, and for those who don’t know we use an app called discord with voice channels for us to talk to each other. So amongst all of us we jokingly talk shit to each other we say stuff to each other just to fuck around and we all know we aren’t serious about what we say. So basically this one friend Brian (not his real name) likes to joke around and talk shit a lot and it’s never serious. Usually, me and Brian go back and forth and we both know the stuff we say to each other we aren’t serious. He does say some stuff that could get under my skin to an extent but I don’t bother saying anything to not cause trouble and I just brush it off. Last year we all decided we wanted to meet each other for the first time and I recorded our whole trip to make a vlog and recently made a video of our trip. Last December we watched it and he noticed in one of the recordings that he breathed heavily a lot he thought it was funny and made jokes about it, he is a little overweight to add context to it. This trip I mentioned will relate to the story. So fast forward now one day we were all talking on discord and randomly he starts shit talking me. Again I didn’t mind it, I just said a few things back it was fine, then he said some things that did annoy me so the whole thing about him noticing himself breathing heavily from our trip it popped into my head and I decided to come back at him and made a comment about that saying “bro, breath heavier.” All of our other friends were laughing like crazy but Brian just went quiet. I immediately realized that it was kinda fucked up so I immediately apologized and he just kept kicking me out of our discord channel then he just ended up getting off for the night. I immediately texted him right after apologizing because I felt guilty about what I said. His girlfriend, another friend in our group thought it wasn’t that bad of a joke and I was told by her that the comment I made he was assuming I was making fun of his weight which I wasn’t and I told his girlfriend that. She believed me and she also told me that she noticed that Brian always talks shit to me to the where he goes a little too far but doesn’t hold back sometimes Yet when I say something to an extent he gets mad about it even though he’s aware of the comment I said. I’m keeping my distance for now because I don’t want to join our discord channel and ruin his mood and eventually make amends with him. So AITA?TLDR: Friend talks shit to me and sometimes goes too far, I come back with a comment to him and he gets upset about it.
|
AITA for jokingly making a comment to my friend about something he’s already aware of?
|
NTA
|
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