post_id stringlengths 7 7 | post_content stringlengths 268 12.1k | post_title stringlengths 20 279 | verdict stringclasses 7 values |
|---|---|---|---|
10w54mt | When I was 16, I used retainers for a while and while my parents were getting a divorce, my dental treatments were highly delayed. I didnt know a lot or any better at the time to be on top of it and to ask my parents to take me to my appointments. They were going through a lot anyways so I didnt think of it. But during that, my mother threw my retainers out thinking it was "too disgusting to keep that long". She had no knowledge of dental treatments at all and was too stubborn to realize what she did after I yelled at her knowing my teeth/jaw will be deformed again. Sure enough overtime, I gotten my under-bite and deformed teeth again and my mother claims that I eat too much junk food is the reason why it's like that.So today is the time when I actually want to fix my teeth again and it's obviously not cheap. I have a decent job, bought my house with my wife, have a dog and child. There wasnt a thing I asked her to buy for me since I gotten my first job at 14/15. Realistically, I can afford to fix my teeth but keep thinking about the time when my mom didnt bother to listen to me about my treatment over 16 years ago, I feel I have every right to at least ask for the "compensation". I honestly dont even care if she declines because it would just show how petty she is. But I just like to know if WIBTA to even ask? | WIBTA if I(32m) ask my mom to pay for my dental treatments? | YWBTA |
10w53yr | I (17F) have been having insomnia. I’m used to just ignoring my health issues, because my parents never take me to the doctors unless I beg them to for multiple days. I woke up at around 9:00 am to go downstairs and make breakfast. I put an English muffin into the toaster, and my dad (51M)comes into the kitchen, saying that he’s making a new rule in the house that if you wake up past nine, you can’t make breakfast and you’ll have to wait till lunch. I told him he’s cutting it close, basically that it’s weird he chose right after I woke up as the time when we can’t have breakfast anymore. He said I would have been fine had I woke up earlier, and then he said that if I hadn’t stayed up all night “playing video games” that I’d have woken up earlier. I don’t play video games after eight because I like to wind down before going to sleep. Then he asked me what time I went to sleep. I answered honestly, that I had no idea, since I take forever to fall asleep because I have insomnia. He then said that I wouldn’t have insomnia if I had a schedule for the day. I do have a schedule. Wake up, eat breakfast, do homework, take a shower, and then do whatever for the rest of the day. He also knows that my clinically diagnosed anxiety triggers my insomnia. He finished off the squabble by telling me I should’ve just said “yes dad” and that he doesn’t know why I can’t just say that every time he tells me to do something. First he’d pick a fight about my grades. Now my grades are good, so he’s moving on to something else to put me down for. He might just be frustrated from having to do housework, since he lost his job and my mom recently had surgery. But he’s acted like this since before then, so I don’t know. He always says that his father treated him worse, so I should be grateful he doesn’t beat me and my older siblings. Maybe that’s why he acts the way he does. | AITA for telling my dad that I have insomnia | NTA |
10w4xlg | I (22M) am marrying the most amazing woman I’ve ever met(21F), I’ll call her L. I met L about 2 years ago and we’ve had a rough time with my mom (42F) I’ll call her A. When I first met L she had a 7mo old baby boy that I fell in love with and have been blessed enough to call mine aswell. She brought our son to meet my family fairly early into our relationship. Well on that day L went to put our son to sleep and then came outside to talk. He woke up about an hour later and A decided to pick him up and try to “calm him down” when L went to get him back A freaks out and says she knows how to be a mom and tells L to go back outside and be “kids.” L finally gets Our son back and puts him back down. A and I get in a huge fight after that and pretty much any conversation after that has been a fight. She also continued to use my credit without my permission overspent and made a phone bill that I didn’t know about. The phone bill went to collections and dropped my score over a hundred point. She called me a few months ago and asked if she was invited to the wedding and I told her I’d think about it and call her back. After thinking and talking to L we’ve decided against it. A says I’m terrible and should call her to fix our relationship when I grow up, so AITA? | AITA for not inviting my mom to my wedding? | NTA |
10w1g2z | Gonna try and keep this backstory short, so here goes. My mum and dad grew up in Ireland and New Zealand respectively. They met when my dad was backpacking and moved over to Australia and had me. Becuase of this, I was never remarkably close with any of my extended family.It’s not like I never talked to them, I saw them a lot on video calls, I just didn’t have as big of a bond with them as other kids might’ve with their families.It was only recently when I started to become more prevalent on social media that this really caused any problems, and most of the problems were on my mums side. Whenever she sees me on Snapchat, always talks about how dissapointing it is that I never talk to any of my cousins. Her argument is that when she was growing up, her cousins were like her best friends. See the difference here is, Her cousins lived up the road, mine live on the other side of the world. On top of this, I have recently been plagued by moderate social anxiety, particularly around kids my age. And then there’s the obvious reason. I don’t really want to be online friends with my cousins. I’ve got a good group of friends whom I spend alot of time taking to, so I don’t really see the need to maintain an online friendship with even more people. | AITA for not wanting to start online friendships with my cousins? | NTA |
10vzpka | This happened maybe a year ago now, but I'm still thinking about it. I (20m, 19m at the time) live with my girlfriend and her family. Her older sister (22 f, 21f at the time) who we'll call Charity was a few grades above me in high school. She's tall and broad-shouldered, and she took weightlifting classes all year, so needless to say she was a bit intimidating at first. Once I started hanging out with my girlfriend, however, I quickly learned that Charity is actually pretty chill and puts up the tough girl act to protect herself. She's been through shit, her dad's an abusive prick, so she avoids confrontation like the plague.We have several cats in our house. At the time this happened I think we had five. That means we need multiple litter boxes around the house so they don't just start pissing everywhere. And having that many cats means those litter boxes need cleaned often. Our house has a finished basement where Charity and one other person live. They agreed that Charity would handle the two litter boxes that were downstairs while the other kept their bathroom clean. One of the litter boxes is positioned at the bottom of the stairs, and over time the strong smell of cat pee started wafting upstairs. Charity said that she had just recently cleaned the cat boxes, but the smell kept getting stronger and stronger.Finally, her mom sent me downstairs to check the litter boxes down there myself. My eyes literally stung from the concentration of cat urine stench in the air. There were logs of cat turds growing mold. We have the kind of litter boxes that have a slot at the bottom where you place a potty pad. I opened that slot and the pad had, somehow, fucking dissolved. I didn't think they could do that, but the container was just a dark brown slurry of cotton and cat piss. It was disgusting.Charity must heave heard me gagging, because she came out of her room and saw me checking the boxes. She swore up and down that she cleaned the boxes the day before and the cats simply piss that much. I told her that literally isn't possible. Mold doesn't grow overnight and if our cats are all pissing this color they need to go to the vet. Realizing that her lies aren't working, she gets upset with me and says it's fucked up that I had to come check on her like a little kid who doesn't want to do their homework. I agreed, it was fucked up that she was letting it get this bad and practically forcing me to go downstairs and do it myself.I cleaned that litter box, one of the most nasty things I have ever done, and checked the other, but it wasn't nearly as bad. Charity has kept them clean ever since, but sometimes when she's doing it she gives me a side eye or huffs really loudly if I'm in the room. I'm starting to think that I was a little too harsh when I went down there and snapped at her. Maybe if I had been a bit more gentle about it we could've resolved it without resentment. AITA? | AITA for checking the litter boxes? | NTA |
10w50qw | Background: parents breed large dogs. A family member and myself live with parents (moved back in to save for house, pay rent, etc). Family member and my sibling both have puppies from my parents for free.My parent last night told me she doesn’t want my partner (who I don’t live with) to buy a puppy from them because we are lazy and sleep in. I was actually flabbergasted. For years I have been the one to drive the dogs to the vet, to dog shows hours away, hike with them, bathe them, take care of puppies all night, etc. Currently we have three litters and I take care of them from after work until midnight daily. Haven’t slept in in over 8 weeks because of this. Boyfriend doesn’t sleep in and has been at our house constantly helping with these puppies.If I take care of the dogs I never do it correctly. Walk them an hour, should have done two. Feed the puppies what they wrote down, should have feed them something else. It’s been constant for years. My family members who have puppies don’t do these things but that’s fine. I do them and I’m still lazy. I’m ready to say I’m no longer helping because obviously I’m never going to reach their standards. WIBTA to stop helping? | WIBTA to stop helping my parents with their animals? | NTA |
10w156g | I (21m) have been dating my girlfriend (19f) and recently I have been coming around her house. Every time I go to her house her dog acts quite strangely to me, the first time he tried to attack me but recently he has become quite friendly. So friendly IN FACT that he now licks my crotch and I told her that I don’t feel comfortable and that I don’t like her dog. She is now mad and refuses to talk to me AITA | AITA For telling my girlfriend I don’t like her dog | NTA |
10w2pxt | I bought a house last year that my fiancé and I moved into. The house is in my name since I put all the money down, she agreed to give me $600/month toward the payment (about 30% of the total) and split utilities. We normally split most expenses 50/50. In November 2022 she said she didn’t like the cold and wanted to go spend some time with her parents in the South, where I’ve visited her twice. She is now saying that she shouldn’t split utilities with me for December and January because she wasn’t living here.In the past, I would have just rolled over and paid it all myself. However right now I have very low income, only $24k last year, since I am working on my family business and earning sweat equity. She is making over $95k + benefits at a corporate job (remote). She Bought a new car, took her mom to Cancun, and has significant savings. I have never asked for nor expected even $1 over 50% of shared expenses.Utilities are really forking me even though I keep the heat at 62, have replaced all light bulbs to LEDs, and spend 10 hours a day at my business away from home. I had to sell stock in my retirement portfolio to cover my bills last month. I can’t afford groceries so I take leftovers from work for dinner when I can. It’s been a serious struggle but I believe in our vision and path to success. I have had plans to rent out the house, either just one bedroom, or Airbnb. This has been the plan from the start, I spent a lot of time last year fixing it up. I can’t rent it out while my fiancés stuff is here.After a long fight she reluctantly agreed to give me $600 for rent (minus $200 I apparently owed her for a rental car I never wanted), and nothing for utilities. She has called me pathetic for even asking , saying things like “this says a lot about you as a man.”AITA for asking for her support on utilities? | AITA for asking my fiancé to continue to split utilities while she travels? | NTA |
10vz6oc | Okay so short story long- My(29F) partner and I live two hours away from my parents. My sister(25F) lives about half an hour from them and is often over for there for dinner and visiting them. Anytime my partner and I want to come and visit my parents- she’s there. Whilst we do get along- she’s a moody individual. Makes everything about her. If I’m informing my family of anything new she has to add “oh but I this or that” And often times she can sour the mood if things don’t go her way. I haven’t seen my family since before Christmas due to work and a personal trauma my partner and I experienced. I’m currently staying at my parents for 2 weeks whilst training for my new job and my Dads birthday happens to be this weekend. My partner and I decided we would like to take my Mum and Dad out to lunch and pay for everything as our gift as whenever we go out as a family (sister included) Dad usually pays (not due to lack of partner wanting to pay or at least contribute for drinks) So we wanted to do this for him. Sister wants to come over on the Friday (Dads actual birthday) AND join the lunch on the Saturday. My partner is civil to my sister but disagrees how she speaks to me and even sometimes my parents and how she constantly mooches of them and especially my Dads generosity. WIBTA for telling my parents I’d just like to have some time with them and my partner without my sister also being there? | WIBTA for telling my parents I’d like to spend time with them without my sister there? | NTA |
10w5p32 | So yesterday evening we had a man from Sky replacing some wires for our Internet, including putting a new one in from out old socket to the new one. Unknown to me, he left some screws on the floor and some wiring. I (24m) Woke up this morning to my Dad's gf (He is Way for work) shouting at me saying I intentionally left them there and that her daughter (1 year) could die. I said to her I never knew they were there and had I known, I would of cleared them all away. She continued shouting at me calling me lazy and uncaring, so I started shouting back saying she's acting like I changed the wires and left them there on purpose. She continued shouting so I told her to "Fuck off" and that she's a "a piece of shit". My dad phoned me not long after siding with her and telling me to "Sort my shit out". I spoke to my grandparents (They own the house and are moving back in a few months. Dad and his GF will be moving away around April-May) They sided with me and said that it's the workers fault and obviously I hadn't know he left screws and wires behind. They told me not to worry and that I should just look forward to them moving out. Can't help but feel like I overreacted even though it wasn't my fault. AITA? | AITA? Dad's GF started shouting at me so I shouted back. | NTA |
10w5gea | I started a new job around 6 months ago and my workplace is primarily female. 3 other people started at the same time as me but only 1 of them was doing the same job as me, lets call her Rebecca (23f). The job is mainly work from home so I have barely even met a lot of the people I work with and the ones I have met, I have only met once or twice. Part of the job involves exams that we need to complete over 3 years. Me and Rebecca, along with 2 of the people who started the job the year before us, had the same exams last term. This meant we would message at work most days with revision tips and things and with me and Rebecca both being new, we would ask each other how we're finding the job, how we're settling in etc. It was nice to have a friend at work. Whenever we spoke it was in work time on the works laptop so it's not like we were messaging over social media or anything. We didn't even have each other on social media. A couple of nights before the exam Rebecca messaged over messenger to quickly ask a question about one of the topics and then after the exam to ask how I thought it went. Apart from that we didn't message on social media again until results day where she messaged to ask how I had done and to say she'd passed. Those are the only times we have messaged outside of work. When my gf asks how my day has gone or what I have been up to at work, Rebecca would occasionally get mentioned but I wouldn't sit and talk about her, she would just be mentioned in passing. Rebecca also has a boyfriend which my gf knows about. My gf recently asked to talk and said she's unhappy with the amount I am messaging Rebecca and that she thinks I need to cut it back. I pointed out we don't even talk that much and she's a colleague and a friend so I'm not just going to stop talking to her when I've done nothing wrong. Every time my laptop makes a noise when I get a message my gf will now ask if that's Rebecca and she's saying I talk to her too much. She again asked if I was going to cut down talking to Rebecca and I said no. She called me an AH and said I'm talking to her too much.AITA for refusing to cut down how much I talk to a colleague? | AITA for refusing to cut down talking to a colleague? | NTA |
10vywxo | A throwaway account since my boyfriend is a fellow redditor.I (F21) am a college student with no income. My boyfriend of 2 years (M23) runs his own company and makes quite a lot of money. A couple of months ago, we went on a trip that we paid for fifty-fifty. I really enjoyed it, but I basically spent all of my money on it. My boyfriend now asked me if I wanted to go on another trip, to which I replied that I no longer had any money (he didn't know the last trip made me broke). He replied that he didn't care and that he could pay for everything since he wanted to go and would much rather go there with me than alone, even if he had to pay. I refused because I didn't want to feel like I was living off his money. He got offended by the fact that I wouldn't allow him to pay for the trip. I usually have no problem with him paying for dinner or other small things, but a trip is too much to accept.AITA? | AITA for refusing to go on a trip all paid for by my boyfriend? | NAH |
10w3edw | I (19) lost my car due to black ice on an interstate and had been pressured by my Grandma (G) and Dad (D) to buy a car off my uncle for $500 and I didn't want to because my Uncle doesn't maintenance or take care of his vehicles, but I bought it to get them off my back about it. The car has 2 major leaks and no electric power steering, no dash, the front ends not very good and the shocks are going out. G felt bad and responsible for convincing me to get the car (especially when we had a bad snow and I could barely get home in the car) when I didn't want it and guilt tripped me by crying to get me to take hers when I told her I'd get myself out of the situation I was in. That was a little over a month ago. And I've been getting excuses after excuses about why I can't get the car (which is fine cuz I didn't want it to begin with) and my car is steadily getting worse because I don't wanna put money in it just to auction it off. I was told to come get it one weekend and that if I didn't she was bring ing it to me (3hr drive) so I went and then she told me I needed to call insurance first to make sure I could afford it (it was Sunday and I had work Monday) then everytime after that has been excuse after excuse why I can't get it yet. Whether it be weathers too bad or something with the mechanic. The last excuse was it's my dad's B-day (she's my mom's mom, and my mom hasn't been around for a few years due to personal issues on her end) I'm tired of being drug around when I could've already fixed some big issues on my car by now. So WIBTA to tell her to just keep it and I'll fix my own?There is a considerable amount of details being left out because of the text limit, but I'll answer any questions about the situation. | WIBTA For Telling My Grandma To Keep Her Car? | NTA |
10w4b0b | My girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) have been dating for 2.5 years. I’m budget-conscious and into personal finance, and she is…not. I’ve tried to educate her on how to manage her finances, but she’s never taken it to heart and has essentially lived paycheck to paycheck for our entire relationship.For context, we were making about the same amount for a while, enough to get by where we live and then some, but not a huge surplus. I took a job 9 months ago that gave me a 50% raise. She took a job 5 months ago that has the same base salary as her previous job, but with commission that could lead to her making more than me.She moved into my apartment 6 months ago (rent+utilities ~$100 less than her old place). The first 2 months, she was 1 month behind on rent. I didn’t love this, but once she got her new job I knew the commission would help her catch up. But then she stopped paying rent, and soon was 3 months behind. I would bring it up with her, but she gets very defensive/embarrassed.She also owed me $4k for debts I paid off for her because she couldn’t afford the lump sum. She hadn’t paid any of this back for 8-9 months. After a while of her being 3 months behind on rent and not paying debts, I knew the math didn’t math. As I said, I tried bringing it up to her but it didn’t resolve anything, and she kept me in the dark about her finances.So I resorted to something I’m not very proud of: snooping. I went in her phone to look at her bank account. What I saw was a number so small it blew me away, and it didn’t make sense that she could be not paying me and still have this little money. So I looked at her transactions. The day before she had spent over $600 shopping. A couple weeks before that, another $600+. And so on.It was clear she had a problem and I felt taken advantage of. I confronted her about it, and she didn’t get as defensive as expected. I could tell she knew she was in the wrong.After a few days, I came to her with the best resolution I could see. I would have most of her paycheck deposited into my account. I would put it in a “vault” so it was separate from my money, and use it to pay her bills, her debts to me, and ultimately build her some savings. The rest of her paycheck would go to her account for food, gas, and any other discretionary spending.I told her this would take ~6 months. She agreed and was fairly cooperative in helping me set it up. I also discovered she had about $3k in credit card debt. So I cut up and froze her cards, and added that to the debt I’d pay off.She wasn’t exactly happy about this, but she agreed it was for the best and has since told me that it’s a weight off her chest. We’re on our way to her being free of her debt and having savings, and me getting my money back. Still, I think we’d both be embarrassed to tell people about the situation. AITA for snooping through her bank account and taking control of her finances? | AITA for taking over my girlfriend’s finances because she wasn’t paying rent or debts? | NTA |
10w2qgk | Hey all, I was made best man for my brothers wedding around 8 months ago along with one of my brothers closest friends. To cut a long story short 6 months ago I messaged other best man asking if I could do anything to help with the stag do and was met with a reply of its all OK at the moment but may need help with activities which I replied I was happy to help and only a message away if needed. We're going on said stag in around 4 weeks I've begun checking out activities last week and sent suggestions that were met with limited response. Now the other best man has booked activities with no conversation between me and them. Today I received a message from my brother asking if I still wanted to do a speech as he wasn't sure what was going on due to the other best man sorting the stag. I'm admittedly not always the best at replying instantly due to looking after my 2 year old son and working full time in a busy emergency department working 12 hour day and night shifts. Now I feel extremely guilty like I should have done more and have failed in best man duties Am I the ass hole? | AITA? Feel like I've failed at best man duties | INFO |
10w1jyv | I (17f) and him (17m) are both still in high school. We both are in our high school band but different instrument’s so different band classes. He has a concert today which is during the school day and I wanted to go and was going to miss then first half of my school day to go.I WAS going to miss the FIRST half of my school day to go. He said I could not go to his concert unless I missed my entire school day. I didn’t want to miss my entire school day. I begged all morning to go to his concert and he said no.So I went to school the first bell rings (I can’t leave school at this point) and then suddenly he wants me to come to his concert when I literally cannot leave school. He is now upset with me and won’t speak to me I am so frustrated. AITA? | AITA for not going to my boyfriends concert | NTA |
10w3wn5 | We're good friends, but not very close. I wrote "girl friend" and not female friend 'cause I think some people see the word female as offensive.**She's not little by any standards; she's about 5'6" or 7" tall with average build (not too fat, not too skinny).** We're both in our twenties.We were at a group hangout in someone's sitting room. She wore a brown shirt that had a pink pony on it. I pointed it out and said it's cute. She smiled and said, "I'm a pony", making a whinnying noise. I laughed and agreed, saying she is a cute little horse。She said, ”don't call me little". I said it was a compliment, but she said she didn't like it; it was sexist. I understand that she doesn't like it, so I won't call that again. Anyway it seemed to have kind of pissed her off as the level of happy mood between us immediately decreased and she lost interest in keeping the conversation. I don't know if she's upset and I'm afraid to ask. I think she's not considering the fact that I didn't mean it that way; I don't see it as sexist.We didn't talk again after that. I don't know for sure if she's still pissed, how can I apologize without making it seem like I'm blowing it out of proportion? I didn't really apologize, btw. I didn't exactly say sorry or something else to that effect. I just explained myself - I don't see it as an insult, I didn't mean it as one. Maybe she wants an apology. God, I'm such an overthinker but maybe I should send her a text and apologize. TL;DR. Called my girl friend little and she took offense, saying it was sexist. I haven't apologized cause I don't really know how to or even if I should. I felt like I should have known it was an insult since I know some women and girls take offense to being addressed as females. | AITA for calling my girl friend "little"? | NTA |
10w2g63 | My (38F) husband (40M) has always had trouble waking up in the morning, and I've known this for 20 years. We've been together for 20 years, married for 8. There are stories of his mom shooting him in the face in the morning with a water gun and him still not flinching. He's a very heavy sleeper and it's one of the biggest points of contention in our marriage as I am the total opposite. His catch phrase (well known by everyone) is 'Five more minutes!' which is what he repeats about 50 times a morning as he rolls over and instantly falls back asleep.So we have 3 kids now (all boys) - they are 9, 6 and 3.5 months. The older two are in school now (obviously) and take the bus which leaves at 7:30 AM. They wake up between 6:45-7, get dressed, brush teeth, and eat breakfast. They both need redirection constantly (both ADHD and kind of on another planet) so I usually closely supervise to make sure they are staying on task and getting out on time. Usually dad rolls downstairs about 5 minutes before they need to leave, asks me if there's any coffee, and walks them to the bus stop.With the baby, things have gotten a lot more difficult. I am usually nursing him around the time the boys are waking up and can't deal with the older two. They are getting a lot better at independently getting things done but it's the initial wakeup that's tough (they too are masters of the 'five more minutes' - and I'm so exhausted from the baby that I run the risk of falling back asleep.)Our older kids are getting old enough to notice me getting upset every morning that he will not wake up and help with anything (just an extra set of hands, or you know, parenting... would be great) and are now starting to make comments like "I wish you would just wake up in the mornings with me, dad" or "you said 5 more minutes 15 minutes ago" or "mom should be tired, she's the one doing everything." He's pissed at me now because he thinks I'm projecting my problems with him on our kids and now they are 'teaming up against him.' I'm just fucking exhausted and can't do it all and would appreciate a little bit of help. Any time I try to ask him to help his response is 'Yeah, I forgot, I don't do ANYTHING' and gets all gaslight-y. It's really becoming super draining, but maybe I really am the asshole here? Maybe there's another way for me to beat the point into his head? | AITA for nagging my husband in the morning in front of our kids? | NTA |
10w3oa7 | My son and his girlfriend (both early 20s) were pregnant with my first grandchild but had a miscarriage a few days ago, they're both sad but relieved as they didn't feel ready to be parents yet and I have been trying to support them however I can. As I didn't feel it was my news to share, I hadn't told anybody about the pregnancy and they were keeping it quiet until they were at the three-month mark. The girlfriend's mother made a thoughts and prayers announcement on Facebook about the miscarriage and my mother saw it and rang me angrily demanding to know why I never told her about the baby. I've since had my sister and a cousin contact me on her behalf asking the same thing and saying how hurt she is that I would keep something so important as her great grandmother status from her. So AITA for keeping quiet? | AITA for not telling my mother she was going to be a great grandmother | NTA |
10w3kgm | When I was 14 my older brother went to prison. He was 18 at the time. I've only ever visited him once with my mom because he was on the other side of the country but we talked on the phone a few times a month. He was released just over a month ago. Before he was released I asked my fiancée if he could stay with us for a bit before he finds a job etc. He wasn't really happy about it but he agreed. Since my brother came to stay with us I've spent most of my free time hanging out with him. He and my fiancée don't really get along. And now my fiancée is saying that I'm spending way too much time with him and that since we're engaged I should spend at least some time with him instead. I told him that I'm just super excited about my brother being back and obviously I'm going to spend more time with him because I missed him. We had a small argument and I told him that my brother is more important to me right now. And since I said that my fiancée has been super cold and distant and he's generally just being rude. So AITA? | AITA for telling my fiancée that my brother is more important to me? | YTA |
10w39n3 | I (19M) have a friend (18F) who I spend a lot of time with. She got out of a 3 month long relationship over 4 months ago with one of my other friends who, for the sake of this post, we’ll call Adam (18M) Adam was staying with my friend in her university accommodation for the duration of their relationship, and when the relationship ended, he moved out. Since then, my friend (18F) has done nothing but talk about this guy, constantly telling me he’s an asshole, how I should stop being friends with him, everything an ex girlfriend would say. It’s come to a point where she will give me updates on where Adam is, and if he’s in a place where she wants to go, she just won’t go. It’s unbelievably frustrating when she cancels plans just because she might have to see Adam. We were talking on the phone last night, and she immediately brought up Adam, who was not relevant to our conversation at all. I told her that I didn’t want to hear any more about him, and that she needs to stop letting this guy, who mind you, does not even talk about her anymore, rule her life. She hung up the call, and has not returned any of my text messages, and refuses to pick up the phone when I call. AITA? | AITA for telling my friend to stop telling me about her ex boyfriend? | NTA |
10w4ljr | I (31f) and my husband (31m) have been married for 5 years. In our 20s we both would drink and smoke, until it eventually turned into me preferring alcohol and him preferring to smoke weed. This wouldn't be everyday but maybe a few times a week. Now in our 30s, I haven't smoked anything in years and will maybe have one drink per month, while my husband smokes weed nearly everyday if not everyday. When I bring up how it has gotten to a point where it bothers me, sometimes I will get promises of change and how we are in our 30s now so it's time to slow down and maybe switch to edibles or something. Other times, I'm told that I should focus on my weight and my "sugar addiction" instead of worrying about him smoking weed. For the record, I am 5'7" and 200 pounds. I do have a sweettooth and I try to keep that in check. As for my husband, when his munchies kick in a whole box of cereal will disappear in an hour. Despite this, he is at a healthier weight than I am. I am aware that I am overweight and need to work on that, but I can't help but think that he is deflecting or at worst trying to hurt my feelings so I stop bringing up the weed problem. His weed spending is normally about $50 every 4-5 days, but I believe he has tried to curb this to maybe $150 a month as of late. I truly wish he would stop all of the weed altogether, but maybe that is too much to ask. | AITA for expecting my husband to stop smoking weed? | NTA |
10w4b75 | it's been a while since i've made the original post and back then, i was hoping to seek some validation for my actions. needless to say, despite everyone saying everyone sucked in that post, i took the yta comments seriously and decided to ultimately let him come with me with his parents' money and apologize for coming off as controlling and manipulative. ultimately, there were also a lot of comments saying i should break up simply because we're not compatible and while i wasn't planning to do that, they did plant a seed of doubt for this relationship's future in my head.after almost a week since our argument, we ghosted each other for a while until i decided to reach out and settle this in person. my original intention was to just meet up, apologize and tell him that he could come with me on the trip as my plus one (especially because christmas was coming soon then and i wanted to resolve it before joining his family for their christmas party). however, when we met up to talk, one thing led to another and we ended up discussing how our life goals were not aligned and we were not compatible. i suggested that we should break up but he was insistent that he could change and be less lazy and actually seriously find a job over the term break. i thanked him for his effort in trying to salvage the relationship but decided to just call it quits. after winter break, he kind of distanced himself from our clique. which was fair even though i was still open to sticking with being just friends with him. my other friends heard about what happened and kind of just accepted it.recently i started seeing someone (we haven't made anything official yet but we just got really close) and last week i told him about my japan trip and extended him an invitation. i know it's kind of impossible to raise 5k in a little less than 2 months so i didn't really say anything when he told me he'll ask his parents for a loan (to be honest, ive come to realize how controlling it was to just deny someone help from their parents too)i guess when i told the friends who were going to japan with me, they sort of told our other friends who knew i was kind of seeing someone and it kind of got to my ex cause he texted me yesterday for a catch-up and it felt like he was low-key shading me for allowing someone to go on a trip with me using his parents' money.nonetheless, thanks to everyone for pointing out my toxic behavior and how my last relationship was. hopefully the (potential) next one could be better! have a great year ahead and happy lunar new year to those celebrating <3 | UPDATE: AITA for not allowing my boyfriend to come with me on a trip since he was about to ask his parents to pay for all expenses? | YTA |
10w42gz | This happened quite a while ago, so I may be a little fuzzy in terms of the details. I had gone out to eat late a night with a couple friends and there was a really drunk chick at the restaurant.While my friends and I are eating, the girl decides to have a seat at our table and we make it pretty clear that she was unwelcome. After a few racist remarks, she leaves our table to return a later point at which begins munching on my chicken wings and fries. At this point, the waitress already had been notified that was she disturbing us and I tell her that I am refusing to pay for my food. Me and the waitress get into it, claiming it’s my responsibility to make sure that other patrons aren’t eating my food and that I should pay for it. This goes on for a while, and she finally concedes, and our group leaves, me having not paid for my meal while my friends have because their food remained untouched by the drunk girl. I probably ate about two thirds of my food at the point where I refused to pay for it, and I think my entire bill came to about twenty dollars? AITA? | AITA for refusing to pay for my food? | NTA |
10w28fq | I have always been very close with the rest of his family. His sister, though, there’s something about her. She’s always just been very bitchy, fake nice towards me, and hasn’t done anything to make me feel welcomed. When I first met her, she started a huge fight with my boyfriend because I was wearing one of her old sweatshirts that he’s had for years. I’ve also seen her throw a hissy fit because someone decided to ride with us and not her. But she wants to claim that I have this terrible, nasty attitude. I’ve only had one or two experiences around the family with me having an attitude for our entire year long relationship. I never directed it towards anyone, except my boyfriend. It was just us arguing about stupid stuff. Anyways, a couple weeks ago my boyfriend and I got into our first bad fight. So we thought we were going to break up. I thought I had his mothers number saved but I couldn’t find it, so I reached out to his sister instead. She was being really nice and understanding, but it seemed like she was only doing it to get her brother in trouble. Because, after it all happened, she kind of just Ignored me, and never reach out to me again. I have had issues in the past with just depression and things like that. I’m fine now, but with some of the things we talked about, she should have checked in with me. And she never did. That made me hella uncomfortable so I unfollowed her and her boyfriend, and a couple of his friends. I don’t even get on social media like that and I don’t think it’s a big deal. So I don’t take things like that personally. I genuinely thought we were done so I was trying to sever ties. A week later we decided to work on things but to stay a little more distanced because we were just spending way too much time together. I never followed his sister back (why would I want to) and tbh it would’ve been awkward to follow her back later on. And I maybe get on instagram twice a week so I didn’t even care to do that. I didn’t see her for a few weeks. Not because I was avoiding her. My boyfriend and I just tended to hang out at my place more and with my friends more. His mom has family dinners every Sunday, and it’s hard for all the kids and their significant others to get together. So this Sunday we all got together for the first time in about a month. Not even five minutes into the dinner she just goes “ so not to put you on the spot or anything, but why did you unfollow me and my bf on Instagram?” In the BITCHIEST tone possible. I kinda was just like “nah I’m not gonna talk about this right now” and laughed in her face. She kept going and going trying to get a reaction out of me. So I just got up and left the table then we went back to my place once my boyfriend finished eating. Everyone put her in her place and told her it was wrong. She gave me an half assed “I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable” apology but not a real apology. So I blocked her after that | AITA for unfollowing my boyfriends sister on instagram? | ESH |
10w3v91 | Hello, everyone.Please,do not put this on other social media, tiktok and others.This is my first post, since I haven't been on reddit that long.I guess I just want some opinions from someone who is not involved in the situation that has happened. Around two months ago, I became a single mother (left really abusive relationship, made a decision to leave the man, because I couldn't risk my child's life and safety). Anyway, the reason I am writing this post is - am I the asshole for wanting to exchange some feet content for money? My 'friend' had to borrow my phone for a quick call. After the call ended, for some reason, she started snooping through my phone and found out I'm trying to sell these pictures. She started degrading me, telling me I should be ashamed, I shouldn't have kids, and I'm selling my body to the devil. She wouldn't listen to me. The only reason I'm doing it is to get some extra money so I can get everything for my baby. Since I'm raising her alone, i am providing her everything with one income. And everything has gotten more expensive, I can barely afford bills and groceries, money is really thight as it is, and in addition to that, my baby got really sick and now I have to pay for hospital stay and her prescribed medicine. My job doesn't pay that much, so i can't afford all of that, so I decided to try selling. Is it really that bad as she says? Or maybe someone can suggest some other ways to get more money? I would appreciate any advice, comment, and will try to answer any questions that anyone could haveThank you for reading. | AITA for trying to make more money to cover all my expenses? | NTA |
10w1vxf | For some context, I (16, M) have had a kind of a rough school year, but finally made it through after finishing due subjects in a December Intensification Period. (I have no idea how it is done in the US, but in Argentina we finish up school in November and have December and January left over as vacations. If you don't pass certain parts of a subject, it is due in December) My mother (54, F) and father (56, M) have also had a rough year as we've moved houses and its been pretty stressful. Its also been made kind of worse as I had a bad depression, because my mind kept going on and on, and that has probably impacted them. They have a month every year in January left over as vacations, and then they go back to work in February, as I go back to school.Here is where the issue lies; vacations. I have a severe issue with my ways of being. I get super lost on knowing if I'm acting right or wrong whenever I'm with my family, which makes me go down a path of even more doubt on what I am as a person. I hate the idea of possibly being ungrateful, which is why I've got this on my mind and seek help here on possible righting any possible wrongs. My parents love going on vacations. A month ago, my brother (24, M) and sister (20, F) went to San Luis (a place in Argentina), while my dad's pal kindly offered us a place to stay in Uruguay, so I went there with both my parents. We were there for a week, as were my siblings in San Luis. Here is where the issue begins. I told them I was not a big vacation guy, and that next year, if they didn't mind, if I could stay at home while the both of them took vacations wherever they'd like. I made sure to express my gratitude for the opportunity because I realised I could come off as ungrateful, and I really didn't want to. They told me it was unnatural for a kid my age to not want to go out and explore the world, but I explained to them I really just wanted to hang out with my mates back at home, especially since I relied heavily on them back when I was depressed.They told me I was being ungrateful. I told them that was not my intention, and that I really did not want to disrupt their schedule as I knew they had a really tough year and deserved a break in whatever fashion they'd like and agree on, but that I just want to take advantage of my month of vacations to my liking as well, and have a nice time with my pals. They put on a really grim facial expression, which made me feel kind of horrid. I know vacations are for family time, but I'm kind of distant from them right now and my brother always misses out on them regardless (as he goes with his friends. Last year he went to Córdoba with them for example).AITA for not taking advantage of the vacation here?Thanks! | AITA for rather spending a vacation with my friends rather than my parents? | NTA |
10w3ecu | Basically, growing up I always knew my mum was a bit difficult. Could never admit being wrong, loved to tell stories aboiut being rude to minimum wage workers, always had something to complain about, fell out with friends etc.&#x200B;Once I started a long term relationship, got married, and had kids this got worse. She expected me to celebrate my birthday with her ('I'm celebrating x years of being a mother!'), turned up uninvited at our house and being annoyed if it didn't suit etc. A few times she phoned me to complain about my siblings/her partner and eventually I had to say 'it's not about you'. When we got married, my ILs helped massively with the cost and she got weird, huffed when I said we weren't doing parent-child dances, refused to say what colour dress she was wearing, did a dramatic cry in the church, gave an uninvited speech at dinner. &#x200B;When my wife was in the delivery suite she kept ringing for updates (I had half a dozen missed calls), announced the birth the next day on Facebook and was furious when I asked her to take it down ('X person already knew, I just wanted to spread my good news'). She kignored our requests about how to treat our son (she had a cold sore and kept kissing him) and it became a massive mental and physical drain. &#x200B;Things culminated when she found out my MIL was going to be doing some childcare and she sent my wife an abusive message, claiming she had promised to do some (she works full time and that wouldn't have been practical but w/e). She refused to speak to us for ages, then sent a letter detailing how much I had hurt her (but no one could ever love me more than her and she would always be my mother and I would always be her son) and that she'd told her friends and they agreed with her. I found out from my brother she had complaining about the wedding how we had pushed her out of things. Obviously the desire to see my son overcame and eventually she invited us to dinner and it was like nothing ever happened. &#x200B;Then we had another son. Just after he was born, he was rushed into hospital. I have a group chat with my siblings and had mentioned it to them, went home to get overnight stuff for my wife, then got a phonecall from my mum. She asked what I was doing and after I explained she said 'I heard about it from \[sister\]. Why don't you think about me and how hurtful this is for me?'. I said that my newborn was in hospital and if she wanted to ring me and play games and talk about herself she could fuck off, which wasn't very diplomatic but I was tired and stressed and that's how I felt. We haven't talked since - I passed her when out for a run a few days later, slowed down to talk, and she stared right through me before saying a very dramatic 'good morning' to the person behind me. I feel that this was a natural response to the situation but obviously having a parent not tal to you isn't a nice feeling so maybe I was in the wrong? | AITA for telling my mum to fuck off? | NTA |
10w5k5p | I (18M) and my best friend (18M) get along very well. We’ve been best friends for about two years now and always have fun together. However, we don’t see eye to eye on certain things, specifically relationships. I was best friends with a guy for most of my life. He was like my other half. Freshman year, he started dating his SO and slowly pulled away from me. I recently took him on a vacation with me (all expenses paid, mind you) and he did nothing but text his SO and complain about me. We rarely talk anymore. No hard feelings, but it hurts to lose your best friend to a high school relationship. I definitely think there is a place for dating in high school. I think it can teach you a lot of lessons. However, most high schoolers do not have the emotional maturity to handle a relationship, school, friends, and extracurriculars. Something takes a hit. Usually grades and friends. I am a very independent person and personally see a relationship as a distraction especially in this period of life (applying to college). So my best friend started dating this individual recently. Before this, everything was fine for the most part. He is a codependent person and needs to be around his SO all the time. Like every day. He consistently lies to me and my other friend about not being able to hang out because of appointments, sickness, etc but goes to hang out w his SO. I don’t care if he hangs out w this person instead of my friend and I. However, I despise when people lie. I haven’t confronted him about the fact that I know he is lying (he thinks he’s getting away w it)I have a bad habit of peering over onto his phone when he’s texting like a mad person. Yesterday I saw his SO insulted the way I looked saying I was “puntable” because I told him he has to show up for a leadership responsibility he volunteered for. I ATA for looking at his phone. But when you don’t look up for 10 minutes, curiosity gets the best of me. My other friend, he, and I were hanging out and talking yesterday. He shows us a pic of his SO and we said omg eww. We do this thing where we try to come up with funny formal ways to say mundane statements. So we were doing that and he almost starts crying and storms away. I guess it’s asshole-ish, but it’s just something we do as a group. He insults the girls I get with all the time. Today I found out he was informed by the SO to give me and my friend the silent treatment. AITA? Sorry for long post. | AITA for calling my friend’s SO ugly? | YTA |
10w5cm6 | I’m 22f, my husband is 24m. We’ve been together for 5 years, married for 2. I’m an American citizen living in Sweden, he is Swedish. I moved here to be with him. Living together for 2 years.My girlfriends from back home are planning a trip to the Netherlands because they found a really good deal. I haven’t seen them since I moved here because I haven’t gone back. I thought about joining them and told my husband, it’s going to be one week. He got quite upset and said it’s ridiculous that him and I are going to weekend trips (he has work, I work from home and learn Swedish to go to university) and I’m going to be away for a whole week. He also said that had he told me he wants to go on a boys trip to the Netherlands, I wouldn’t have “allowed” it. At the end of the conversation he told me to “just go” and that he overreacted but that I’m settling the boundaries and if I can do whatever I want, so can he. Whatever that means. The next part is information that might be relevant to the situation: My husband has no friends. People who live in Sweden know how hard it is to acquire friends as an adult in a new city. (We live 5 hours away from his hometown). I don’t know if he misses having friends or not, he was always somewhat of a loner after moving away from his hometown. We didn’t really discuss this.Also, my husband and I’s relationship is great, I really have no complaints. He had a few fuck-ups in the past where he used drugs behind my back (PEDs and weed) despite knowing it’s a boundary for me, and where he lied about the cost of the car he bought. We’ve moved past it and I’ve forgiven him. Maybe he’s holding a grudge against me for not letting him use drugs and he sees me going on a trip as an equivalent. I have no idea. I do not drink, smoke, or do drugs so there’s no double standards. I’ve also never given him any reasons to not trust me.He also has a dog I’m severely allergic to (that’s a whole other thing lol) that really limits us. I’ve mentioned to him before how I feel this is our time to travel and enjoy life but having a dog just limits that. We can only take trips if we get his only living relative (whom he dislikes) to watch the dog months in advance because a doggy sitter is just too expensive. So this limits us to once or twice a year. We are trying save money but going on a trip with my girlfriends will not be too expensive, and I can take up more work to compensate for that.AITA? Is it really wrong to go on trips with friends once you’re married? Maybe there’s something else I’m missing?Tl;dr: moved to Sweden to be with my husband. My girlfriends from the US are planning a trip to the Netherlands for a week and I want to join them. My husband got upset and said that had it been him, I wouldn’t have “allowed” it. AITA? | AITA for wanting to go on a girls trip without my husband for a week? | NTA |
10w4xts | I 17(M) recently started college and my program is an engineering one and most students are men. I became friends with some people in the program most of which are men, but my closest friend currently is a girl (17F) as we just clicked during frosh and some group projects we did.I have not really been friends with many girls before as I am usually shy so idk if this would be inappropriate to ask. With her I no longer feel shy though as she feels familiar and we have many common interests.She is however very feminine in the way she dresses, comes to class with makeup, nails, sometimes heels etc, and while she mostly talks about the same things every one else does, sometimes she will talk about women's fashion and girl topics. It used to be awkward but I do not mind it anymore when it is between us.However when I bring her along when we hang with our primary friend circle (which are more my friends than hers), she always dresses up and sometimes will bring up girl topics during conversation, usually indirectly and somewhat related to what everyone else is talking about. Usually it is fashion, but once she brought up periods. This embarrasses me somewhat, and I feel like the others might judge me for being friends with her.I was thinking of gently asking her to not bring up those topics when with our other friends, which would not be such a big issue as we mostly talk about school and nerdy topics anyway most of the time. I considered also asking her to not overdress but I feel like that might come off rude and hurt her feelings so I probably will not do that.So WIBTA for asking her to avoid girly topics? She has been a great friend to have in college so I do not want to risk making her feel bad in any way, but we talk freely about things.EDIT: Got it, I will not tell her that which was what I assumed was more likely. I do not mind talking about these things with her, I was just concerned the other friends might more than anything. She is my closer friend and the others are mostly people we do activities with. | WIBTA for telling my friend to avoid girl topics and maybe dress differently when she hangs with our mostly male friend group | YWBTA |
10vyhlg | I'm M19, moving out for the first time. I was pulled out of school in 5th grade to assist my disabled mother who rather than appreciated me, would scream every day, demand I do all of the house work, verbally abused me, took all of my things away and heavily monitored me. I was always told it was my fault if things were wrong or id be punished as every day it was a new one (less sleep time, not being allowed outdoors), and that I'm a liar, and that I am a fat pussy. As I grew older she would calm down over time more. Especially when I turned 16 and started working immediately. Fast forward to now, I can tell she still wants a bond of some sort.. though be it hard for me to understand why, its a mix of me asking myself "can she manage without me around?" "What if this spirals her into a huge depression?" I'd feel responsible. She has given very little to support me emotionally as I am trying to move, infact shes just told me the high that I feel will go away quickly shortly after I had a panick attack due to stress of work (19 day streaks, 2 days off), Financials, and packing my things. Every day now she always says something along the lines of "I wish you'd stay home" "You shouldn't move" "im going to miss you so much I love you and I hardly see you as it is" or she will guilt me by saying "You're never going to visit me" "I'm never going to see you again, I just get in your way" I feel like my mental train has derailed, I feel obligated to stay in touch but it hurts sometimes to even hear her voice, or hear her say my name as it reminds me of everything that happened for years.. so reddit, AITA for not wanting or having a stronger bond with her? | AITA for not having/wanting a stronger bond with my mother? | NTA |
10vyar2 | To give a little background a little over a year ago my family moved from New York to Florida to support me because I was having a baby. Considering the fact that the prices in Florida are higher than where we lived in New York my parents and I signed a lease together temporarily so that we would all be able to save some money until they can fully get established and I could fully get used to being a single parent.After about four months of them moving down I ended up helping my stepdad find a pretty decent job working at a warehouse as a manager. Now upon taking this job he was fully aware that at the time he had not yet purchased a car so his mode of transportation would be Uber, taxis, or a bus. But he took it anyway and was taking the bus to and from work with the intentions of saving to get his own car or using his tax refund to get one.So fast forward a few weeks later I ended up purchasing my own car and here and there he would ask me for a ride to work which was cool if I wasn’t doing anything I would just drop him off and usually he would take the bus home like normal.Then for some odd reason he ended up getting his schedule changed to where he has to be to work at 5 o’clock in the morning which I don’t understand why because it doesn’t correlate with the bus schedule for him to be able to get to work every day. So one morning he wakes me up out my sleep at four something in the morning and asked me for a ride and I have not yet known his schedule has changed I thought this was just a one time thing so I gave him a ride to work.Now it’s been about five months and this man wakes me up out my sleep every single day five days a week and ask for a ride to work at about 4:20 in the morning.Am I wrong for not wanting to give him a ride to work anymore? The way I see it considering the amount of money he makes at work and the fact that he got his taxes he’s had more than enough time and opportunity to purchase him a car to support his family on multiple occasions and he’s just choosing not to.I’m 21 years old and even though I’m a closing manager at my own job and usually don’t get home until like 1112 at night and still have to get myself as well as my 10 month old ready for bed, I’m still relied upon every single day to take this man to work. Not to mention on top of that being treated like the full-time Uber driver by my family . I can’t even leave during the week with my kid and just take a day trip or so because someone gets mad I’m not around to give rides or let them use my car. I’m always getting told I’m selfish when I’m leaving because they have XY and Z to do and I never checked in with nobody before I just decided to take my kid and leave. | AITA for not giving dad a ride to work? | NTA |
10w1v94 | My (F19) bf (M24) has done a lot of shitty downright bad things in the past, I'm not here to discuss that or to hear anything about that I should've left him that time but just about specific small things like this that I just don't understand.So about 6 months ago me and him had broken up for about 1 month and in that time he met a girl at a rave who was obviously very into him (with a very obvious Asian fetish, could see it from a mile away) they texted a bunch during that time and even tho him and I were still in contact he liked the attention and felt pity for her so he led her on for while, when i found out about this I gave him an ultimatum to block her and her friends involved and be done with it so we can leave it behind us. He did and I thought that was the end of it and I could just heal (spoiler alert, it wasn't)Like 3 months later he decided he felt so bad about the whole thing that he decided to unblock her while I was sleeping next to him, texting her and apologizing for so apruptly cutting off contact, throwing me under the bus telling her that I forced him to do that and that he didn't want it to be that way. I found out about this pretty quickly and he got mad at me not understanding why I was hurt and angry with him for going behind my back once again. This was supposedly the final end of it tho as he was never going to talk to her again (also I should mention he apologized to multiple people he has hurt in the past point is, most of them didn't want anything to do with him anymore and this girl straight up didn't deserve an apology for nothing I'll be honest)If this is true and they haven't talked since i don't know. But after we reconciled I tried to just move on and forget about it though of course it just stung badly.Now we get to today, all is well and it's been a month since the last thing happened and I'm just playing a game when he randomly goes "hey have you ever thought about dying your hair X?" I froze, making a connection with what happened in the past, tho it didn't seem like he was getting that, I say "no? Why?" he acts like nothing is wrong "oh no reason, just like a random thought" then, there's silence for a few seconds and he goes "don't worry babe I'm not looking at pics of x colored haired girls infront of me, it was just one of those random thoughts of what cookie colour you could do next" so I just tried to play it off "yeah no I don't know never thought about it but I don't really want to" and he just ended it saying OK.Now I'm still fumingI can't see reason as to why he couldn't turn his brain on and think about why that comment might be Hella out of pocket. At the same time I'm wondering if I'm just overly sensitive and he wasn't AT ALL thinking of her when suggesting that. I feel like shit and I cannot physically bring up the past again not only cause I don't want to argue about it but also because it just hurts to talk about. I just want to stop being angry and distrustful and stop feeling like shit, AITA? | AITA for being Insulted by my bf suggesting I dye my hair like the girl he led on? | ESH |
10vzz6k | I live in a house with three roommates. Two of my roommates and myself like to smoke weed (it's legal). The other roommate, 'Jay', is not a smoker. Things started off fine, until Jay realized that the smell of weed makes them nauseous. No problem I thought, I made sure to always leave the window open after to air things out, light candles, and if there's anything Jay needs after we start smoking I bring it to their room so they don't have to leave it and smell anything. We only ever smoke at night and Jay likes to spend time alone in their room at this time so it seemed like a good situation. Everytime before we smoke I text Jay to let them know and so they can get stuff before we start smoking if they want. I always try to make it as clear as I can that they have the option to say no or ask us to wait or go outside, but they have never seemed to have too big of an issue with us smoking in the house, barring a couple instances of miscommunication and random comments. Until yesterday night when this situation happened. When I asked if it was ok if we smoked Jay asked to make dinner first and I told them to take their time as we hadn't even started getting it ready. Jay made some food and seemed very upset when going back upstairs, walking louder than usual and slamming their door. I asked if they were ok and they said some very mean things that I don't want to get into. Jay and I were close friends before this and it caught me off guard as it seemingly came out of nowhere. A few hours later me and Jay talked about how the smell has been affecting them far more than they have been saying, and that to them the entire house reeks constantly and how that makes living in this house awful. I know I am noseblind, but we've had many other people over, and not one person has noticed the smell even when asked. I apologized for not realizing how bad it was for Jay, and again told them that I was more than willing to smoke outside if it was this bad. They told me they were mad at me and that I'm an awful person for making them live in these conditions. I really do feel awful about it, and plan on deep cleaning the house as soon as I can to try to help with the smell. EDIT: (adding info I think is important) When Jay first moved in they only said they don't like the smell, and later said it made them nauseous when they realized. I offered both times they brought this up (as well as multiple other times) to smoke outside and they said it was fine to smoke inside because it didn't smell upstairs (where their bedroom and bathroom is). They had never said anything about the smell bothering them in the house until last night. I do not think Jay is an AH, I just want to know if I am. TDLR roommate who can't stand the smell of weed hates me for smoking in the house when I didn't know how bad it was for them. AITA? | AITA for smoking in my house | YTA |
10w3dd6 | I'm sorry, I really tried but I I couldn't fit in the word limit, so the end of the story will be in the comments.I (18yoNB) have a groupe of friends since highschool. They are really precious to me and we form a chosen family since we kind of all have family issues.The year before this story, we all went at our friends vacation house during the holidays. It was really awesome and we had one the best 2 weeks of our life. Except for one part : one of my friend, Bellybutton fought a lot with their girlfriend. She had a lot of personal issues and Bellybutton was trying to be supportive but always ended up being yelled at. It was really toxic.After a while, they broke up and things were actually worse. They were both terribly mean to each other and we we're doing everything we could to keep them appart.As a result, for this year summer we didn't wanted both under the same roof. So, we decided to have one of them with us for a week, and the other one for the other week ! The ex-girlfriend agreed but Bellybutton didn't. They were angry to miss a part of the holidays because of their ex and thought that it was unfair because they already suffered enough during this relationship. And I get that, and was really sorry for them. But my friends worked really hard to just find a solution to this situation. Like really, two of them called all of us individually to ask everyone opinion and advice.So anyway, it was really long and Bellybutton was still really upset but we all agreed to split the vacation in two for them.Most of us arrived with cars, but we had to pick up Bellybutton at the train station. Only problem : they didn't show up. At first we were all panicked that something had happened, but they finally told us that they never planned on coming to the vacacion house. They even planned on going on some music concerts instead. I was already mad at them for wasting our time and energy. Bellybutton said that they thought they told about about not coming, but none of us have heard of that. Still now, we don't now if it's a lie of just genius mistake. | AITA for refusing to communicate with someone who didn't hurt me | NTA |
10w3d4a | I (f17) live with my grandparents because of school. My mother has an injury, because of that she does not have a job right now and can't work. My step-dad is the one withe the main income right now. My biological dad sends my mother child support every month. I get !00$ of that childsupport as pocket money. My parents and grandparent don't allow me to work so i can focus on school, so that pocketmoney is my only income right now.Even before my mother got sick she would ask me for some money. It'd take some time befor she would pay me back. I forget things really easily so i amde a list on my phone. I thought she knew about the list, because i've told her about it before. A week ago she noticed the list, becuse my grandma and I were tlaking about it ( sche wantet to borrow 20$ form me and i put her in the list and showed ti to her). In the evening my mother said that she was hurt that i showed my grandma the list. I didn't mean to hurt her so i apollegized. She brought the list up the next day again and said how hurt she was becaus of it. I was confused but apollegized again. Yesterday she send me a photo of some arts and crafts things wich were about 6.20$. She wrot in her text that if i don't cross 8$ form the list that she would bring it back. She didn't ask me to cross it, she treatened me to bring the thing back if i don't do it. I just crossed it and said nothing about it.My grandma is a very honest person and told me today that my mother and step-dad think that i am selfish to have this list. I don't know what to think about that. I nerer asked for the money or pressured her in any other way. I know that they don't have the money to pay me back right now.So, reddit, am i the badguy for having a list of my parents depts with me?&#x200B;I am very sorry for spelling mistakes and bad gramma, english isn't my first language. | AITA for having a list? | NTA |
10w30e1 | So my girlfriend and I broke up last year and she moved out. I needed to get a roommate quick , and found one online after bit of searching. He paid first and security, and was signed onto the lease for September, with rent due the first of every month.Late September, he decided he's going back to school (and getting financial aid from FAFSA). He also told me he's not getting a lot of hours at his job. I offer some suggestions.Mid October hits, and I got a knock on my door. He asked me if I can pay the full rent in November, saying his FAFSA won't come in until mid November. I was stunned by the request and said no. I told him to let the apartment complex know, and also let them know myself.Mid November hits, his FAFSA comes, and he paid rent late. He then comes home with a bunch of computer components to build himself a new gaming computer. Interesting timing, but you know what? As long as he pays rent on time, it's not my business.Late November, I got very sick, then him. December came, rent paid on time.Mid January, I got a call from the office that we still have half the rent due. So I message himd and he told me he was fired back when he got sick, tells me that he has a new job, but is still hurting for hours. The office gives me contact info for renters assistance for him. I give it to him, he says they're out of money. He says he's paid on time for a while (ahem) and asks if it's a problem. I texted him: "I don't know. I need you to figure this out though. This affects me too, and honestly is adding a lot of unnecessary stress that I got a roommate for specifically to avoid."Next thing I know, rent is paid.Yesterday, I saw an email saying that half the rent is not paid for February, AND if it's not paid by the 19th, they'll start the eviction process. I immediately knocked on his bedroom door and asked him if he got the email. He said yes.I said, "You need to get your shit together or get the fuck out."He said to me that he's paid every month, and it's my fault for getting him sick. Note that he asked me to cover rent once prior to him ever getting sick. So I corrected him by saying he's late half the time. I told him he's unreliable and that diminishes my trust in him greatly. I also asked what happened to the FAFSA money that he had; did he use it to buy his expensive gaming pc (which typically I would say is not my business, but now it's affecting me)? He says his girlfriend got it for him. He kept saying, "It's fine," To which I say, "I'm telling you it's not fine, and the fact that you keep saying it is scares me more."I told him a last time: "He needs to get his shit together and pay on time, or I need to find someone who can."I'm essentially threatening his home, which I hate doing. But I also feel like he's doing the same now to me. I could hear him in the other room cursing me out, but I'm just at my wit's end. He's going to get me evicted over this. So. AITA for flipping out at him? | AITA for Flipping Out at My Roommate? | NTA |
10w2rjp | I celebrated a milestone birthday last night with my GF, my mom and stepdad and my grandma on my mom's side. We went out to a very nice dinner, which my grandmother paid for. I never like celebrating out in public because I hate when restaurants sing to you. It doesn't matter which restaurant, whatever "happy happy birthday" song they use, I start to panic, tear up and get physically sick.My parents and girlfriend are understanding, though my parents tease (like saying they made sure to call ahead of time to prepare a big routine or start to tell the waiter we're celebrating a big occasion then switch at the last minute, but they would *never* go through with it) When I was seven, my parents threw me a surprise party for our first time as a family together and I had my first panic attack, that’s the last time they ever sprung it on me. For a couple years after turning 21, I completely avoided all restaurants from mid January to mid March because I didn't want to run the risk again.My grandma is a lot less understanding. She doesn't see it as a big deal and she thinks a birthday is an occasion to celebrate as much as possible. Plus, free dessert. What's not to love, right? She'd never understood, not even when I tried to explain, and chalked it up to a difference in how we grew up and how we were celebrated or our accomplishments acknowledged.TLDR she told the waiter, staff came out and sang to me, I excused myself to the bathroom as soon as it was over. It took me around 20 minutes to calm down, by which time the ice cream had melted, the check had come, and mom and grandma were ticked off. Grandma said I'll regret acting like this and missing out on celebrations when I'm older, Mom said it was immature to "storm off” What I also agree is selfish of me is that I'm also upset Grandma had already given me tickets to see a play with her, but she placed them back into her pocket book. I asked my step dad and he sighed and told me that I should have managed my emotions better in the moment. Mom and dad both suggest I should apologize to soothe hurt feelings. | AITA for hiding in the bathroom after the restaurant sang happy birthday to me? | NTA |
10w2g2f | I (22) live with two roommates, M (21), and S (21). When we moved in, we all agreed to pick up after ourselves. We all agreed that our own messes are our own problems, and as such are our responsibility to take care of. S and I tend to stay in our rooms more than M does, so it's not hard for either of us to keep our messes in the shared areas minimal. Generally speaking, this isn't an issue. But lately, M has been *very messy.* They're a plant person, and we have a lot around the house. We live in a colder area, so they've been keeping them in the house. I don't really have an issue with this. However, they do a lot of their potting indoors, which leads to a fair amount of dirt getting in the carpet, and typically staying in the carpet. On top of this, they tend to leave messes around the house constantly which stay there for weeks, stuff like clothes lying around, unopened mail thrown on the floor, old food in the living room, dirty dishes from cooking, they even once left a vibrator next to the couch (which I don't think I should have to explain why I think that's vile). When S and I ask them to pick up after themselves, the response we always get is "I'm depressed and I can't, you guys have to help me." I typically have no issue helping picking up if either of them need it. However, it's been like this since we've all moved in together (it's been about 8 months), and quite frankly I'm a little tired of M constantly asking us for help in cleaning up their massive messes. On top of this, both S and I deal with depression ourselves, and have trouble keeping our rooms clean because of it. We understand what it's like to have depression and be unable or unmotivated to clean. But both of us still keep the shared areas clear of our own messes, and we have for the entirety of our lease. M is the only one with this issue. It'd be a different thing if M's room was dirty as well, but they almost always keep it spotless. To me, the fact that they keep their room spotless but can't clean up in the common area just shows a lack of respect towards S and I, especially when we always manage to keep our messes to a minimum in the shared areas. Not to mention when M has messes out for weeks on end, S and I very rarely give them grief over it unless it gets to a point where it's unacceptable, but if we have messes last more than a day we get yelled at and beraded by M, who tends to claim that we never help out with the cleaning despite the fact that we always clean up after ourselves. We also do the dishes and take the trash out, and I clean the catboxes (we have two, one of which is M's cat's), where M has no other major chores beyond picking up after themself. The berading doesn't end at us either, we've both overheard M shit-talking and complaining about us to their other friends on the phone over this matter, one of which are mutual friends with S. AITA for being tired of M not cleaning up after themselves, and for putting the onus on S and I to take care of them? | AITA for not helping my roommate clean up the house? | NTA |
10w5393 | Hi! For context, I’m 31/F. I have a pretty decent salary but I am single and do pay rent and all my bills on my own. My friend (she’s married and splits bills with her husband. He also makes over $200k just himself) and I are planning a trip to Europe for 2 weeks. We are driving throughout and staying in 4 different places. We splurged on the hotel for one location. I think it came out to $600 per night (split between us = $300 each per night for 3 nights so $900 per person total). I agreed on splurging for this one because it was a really nice resort and had some things included. I got her to agree on spending $200 per night ($100 each per night) for the other 2 hotels, but for the final hotel she wants to stay in one that totals almost $1500 for 3 nights. There is nothing too special about this hotel honestly. I’ve seen ones for half the cost that were just as nice. It has a circle shaped bed which I think she wants for pictures, but other than that it’s nothing too crazy. I’m not trying to be cheap and I could ultimately afford it, but I just feel it’s a little …. Silly? Especially since we are spending so much on the trip overall. I understand she has a larger budget than me but I feel like I’m being pretty reasonable here. She has complained in the past that she doesn’t like to travel with people who have tight budget constraints (I don’t feel that I do) but I just can’t help but feel like it’s sometimes a bit wasteful? PS: it’s just her and I going on this trip, her husband isn’t coming! Just to be clear. AITA for not wanting to waste money on an astronomically priced hotel room? | AITA: For not wanting to spend $500/night on a hotel? | NTA |
10w1ipv | hi that random person that's new to Reddit againfyi this was heavily condensed bc the argument went on for about 2 hours(sry for the typos)its been barley 48 hours and I've managed to make my parents mad again :)this also may seems really childish but idc anymoreto sum it up my parents asked me to shower, I didn't comply and sent indirect responses then some very concerning things happened that I'm not allowed to mention heremy mum and dad basically the entire time were just pointing at me, swearing at me in chinese and claimed that my brain was full of dogpoo as well as saying that i have a mental illness ( in Chinese of course)for the first half of the argument I tried not shouting and keeping calm, occasionally having tears come out even though I wanted to fudging bawl my eyes outthen we try to work something out and atone and she disagrees with everything I'm saying claiming that I am speaking a bunch of legal nonsense "shit" and that idgaf about them and that I'm getting entertainment out of thiseither way i finally lose it and start shouting as well and struggle to breathe bc asthma and also hyperventilation and we keep arguing for another 15-25 minutesthen my mum snaps or something like a volcano I'm not even lying she was normal just then and then she starts getting on her knees putting her head on the floor saying that I'm the "queen and king of the house" then she says she'll never talk to me again, never care for me again that she doesn't love me that she never wants to see me againi feel really really bad and idk if i should just try to atone and apologise for everything cuz I felt like I was unreasonable and she was like any other parent this morningaitaedit: my mum also pulled out her phone and started recording me saying how hysterical I looked even tho I told her to stopshe also started comparing me to my 9 yo sister saying that even she doesn't act like that even tho she claims she never compares me to anybodyoh and also b4 I forget after she started shouting at me early into the argument she asked me what time it was and I said it was "only 10pm" then the concerning thing that I'm not allowed to mention here happenedI also might add more stuff at the bottom here if I rmbr | AITA for not listening to my parents | INFO |
10w3zox | I (18f) have been dating this guy (23m) for about 5 months. We are about to celebrate our first Valentine's day together.In all my relationships I have (which is about 2), I haven't been able to celebrate Valentine's Day. The relationship didn't last long enough to reach February. Even without romantic relationships, my family never celebrates Valentine's day. My parents would get something for each other and my siblings, but never me (even if I got them something). The same for my friends.Now, in a week or so, my bf and I are going to celebrate Valentine's day. I was already hesitant because I haven't had good experiences with the holiday, but I understood that he wanted to celebrate it so we decided to get gifts for each other.He then mentioned how he wanted to go out for dinner together to celebrate. I said that was fine as long as I can pay for my part. He reluctantly agreed (I don't like it when people pay for things for me, it makes me feel guilty).Well, last night, we were at his house and he mentioned dinner again. He said how we were going to a hibachi restaurant and we would be going out with his parents. In the moment, I agreed to it, but now I'm having second thoughts.I like his parents but I know that if we go with them, then either his dad or he will pay for the dinner. Also, his parents and him tease each other a lot and it makes me uncomfortable.I don't want to make anyone upset and come off as this holiday is solely about me. So, WIBTA? | WIBTA if I told my bf that I don't want to have dinner with his parents on Valentine's Day? | NTA |
10w3ly5 | I (19f) recently met my new neighbours, a group of early 20-something guys. All nice people. The issue is with Robert (21m). His room shares a wall with mine and I can hear everything. Every floor creak, every time he turns a plug on and every time he jerks off.I don't want to hear it. I feel like a total creep. He's not too loud but that doesn't matter, I can hear him. I want to tell him but I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable or like I was perving on him. I asked my housemate for advice and she said she'd rather not know if she was Robert and that it would be a major mind fuck so I shouldn't tell him. I, on the other hand, would rather know. I said I was going to tell him but she stopped me and said it would be an asshole thing to do.WIBTA if I told him?EDIT: we don't live in an apartment complex. We live in separate houses that are semi-detached. | WIBTA if I let my neighbour know that I can hear EVERYTHING from his bedroom? | YWBTA |
10w3drf | I'm 19F, my friend is 19M. He always talk to me how he wish that he has a friend with the same gender. His last friendship failed, in other words now he is stuck with me. I admit that I have attachment issue, but I'm pretty sure that this is not jealousy since I don't feel like I have any personal feelings toward him. But I get annoyed that he keep saying that he want to befriend a certain someone since they got so many similarity SEVERAL TIMES. I don't want to self claim or anything but I always treat him the best as I can. Yes I make mistake a lot but this person he want to befriend frequently treats him badly and I don't see anything significant that he does for my friend. It hurts me that he keep on thinking that way. Maybe I just hope that my presence as a friend is enough. I'm trying to be neutral whenever he talks about it but my expression can't lie. He is really good at reading people so he definitely knows what I feel. I dont do anything but I guess it comes to the point that I dislike the people he want to befriend. And I'm showing it by making the situation awkward and potentially putting pressure on my friend. I want to stop clinging so badly to him but it's not easy since I always prefer having a close friendship with 1 person only so trying to connect with others is not really a choice for me. Deeply conflicted about this. | AITA for getting mad that my friends keep on talking about how he want to befriend others | YTA |
10w00rr | Hi all, My (25F) partner (25m) and I have been together for three years. As long as it has been appropriate to do so, we have done joint gifts. With this, we have always had this unspoken rule where all presents for my family are purchased by me and all those for his family are purchased by him. This has worked well for us. He hasn’t had the greatest relationship with his family and has always tried to distance himself from them. They were pretty toxic and treated him terribly growing up. Recently, they’ve all been working hard on their relationships and I am encouraging of that so long as he is safe and happy. But because of the troubled relationship, I’m not really close to any of his family.It’s his sisters birthday coming up and we have been invited to his family home for dinner. I asked what we would be bringing his sister and he said “I thought we could go halves in a voucher”. I said “who is we?” to make sure he meant us before questioning further and he said us. I just asked why since that’s not normally how we would do things and he said “because it’s from both of us” I said I understand it’s from both of us but that’s just not how we normally do things and out of curiosity asked why we would do it this way now and he just kept saying he thought he would throw it out there and if it was a problem to just not worry about it. I explained that I just thought it was a backwards step halving our money and that though it’s not tit for tat, I thought he would spend the money given it’s his sister like I would on my own sibling. He was getting frustrated (maybe a bit embarrassed at me questioning his suggestion) and so we just stopped talking about it but I’m really confused and thinking I may have been sensitive about a genuine request? Maybe I read into it too much. I think as well, I am pregnant with our first child so the insinuation of halving money sent me into a panic and I began to catastrophise internally over whether he was asking because he couldn’t afford it himself or if this was a new thing he was starting at maybe a bad time to start it. I’m not sure. AITA? | AITA for being confused about contributing to my sister-in-laws birthday gift? | NTA |
10w2c0f | The whole dropping off the baby in their car seat and setting up a camera to capture it or worse, recording it as they drive away leaving relatives with little to no choice in regards to babysitting.I thought it was an asshole move and my coworker took offense to me saying so.So we’re on break in the break room and she started to share she did this for tik tok after her sister said she couldn’t babysit. She thought it was funny and I said, I think that’s messed up. She tried saying she didn’t actually leave her baby there, she just wanted to give her sister a scare.Idk, I pretty much blocked out her explanations and continued browsing on my phone.But I guess she was mad at me and brought it up to another coworker that in turn, told me.AITA for calling my coworker out? | AITA for calling out what I consider, cringe behavior? | NTA |
10w271g | Throwaway account for reasons. I apologize for any improper formatting. So my(M) birthday was about a month ago and I wasn’t really planning on doing anything. My best friend’s(F) cousin(M) had told me he’d bought me something as a gift and that he had given it to my friend to give to me since he will be moving out of state and would be gone before then. I knew my friend would be a little late giving it to me and I wasn’t really bothered by that and would be glad to wait, any gift at all is enough for me. Though I didn’t really think it’d take a month+. My friend keeps teasing me about what it is (I still haven’t even been told what it is.) or how she keeps forgetting or simply not caring enough to bring it with her when we meet. She’s gone as far as to make cheap excuses like “I’ve chosen to give it to you on your month anniversary.”. I’ve slowly become more irritated with her continued carelessness and inconsideration. I’ve been reminding her more and more to do something about the gift and even offered to just go to her house to pick it up so she wouldn’t have to worry about remembering to bring it. My actions have been responded to with comments like, “Stop whining.”, “Why are you complaining?”, “Complaining won’t get you anything any faster.”, and “You’ll get it when I give it to you.”. It hasn’t just been my friend who’s said these things specifically either. All of the other friends in our group have been greeting me with comments like “I don’t want to hear you whine about your gift today.”. I can’t help but feel like I’m making a big deal out of something I shouldn’t. I want to avoid making a big deal out of this situation but I feel like I’m being taken advantage of within our group of friends now. It’s not about the gift at this point to me, but more about the way I’m being treated by everyone. I think my frustrations are deeper than just a birthday gift.Reddit, AITA in this situation?[EDIT: attempted formatting fixes] | AITA for wanting my birthday gift? | NTA |
10vxt7j | I (F18) was in a relationship with a male who I don’t want to specify at all, a while ago. maybe about half a year ago. it’s been on my mind for a while and it hasn’t really been a huge drama but I am non binary and have gone by a preferred name for quite a few years now. when he met, due to circumstances he met me as my dead name so that’s how he knew me. when we began talking i stated i had a preferred name and after that he called me by it mixed with my dead name. what made me was to end it all with him was when we had a sleepover with my female best friend and her fiancé. she had corrected him when he referred to me as my dead name and it was clear i was a little uncomfortable due to him referring to me as that whenever everyone else called me by my preferred name. his exact words were ‘nah, i prefer (dead name) so i’ll keep using that.’ that wasn’t the entire reason why i ended things but it was one of them. recently he had stated he had a preferred name rather than his dead name but during this he still used my dead name to refer to me. this is where i feel like an asshole, i had used his and stated that i preferred his dead name though he cracked it at me and said it was mean and disrespectful. i just simply said that i’ll use his preferred name when he uses mine. our friends have said it’s only fair and are on my side but i still feel like an ass for saying that so AITA?edit : in no way am i transphobic and would never dead name someone who came out to me but seeing he isn’t transgender or non binary and only told me to call him by that name. he just changed it on discord and everyone asked questions and he just said it was a nickname yet still yelled at me and said i was disrespectful. it lead to him guilt tripping me into saying sorry which i did but he still won’t :( i do also want to say it was a forced relationship and i do feel bad for what i said which i deserveanother edit : i read some comments and didn’t want to say this but it was a forced relationship and he made me and my friend uncomfortable a lot. he now prefers his deadname instead of what he wanted only me to call him. he never even told his best friend to call him what he wanted to be called. i still didn’t have a valid response but wanted some more insight to be put out, again he is not transgender or non binary or in the community like myself. he did it to get at me yet i still feel like an asshole | AITA for not using my ex’s preferred name? | NTA |
10w63la | I 20f sit next to a guy in my research seminar class. Im sure he is a nice dude but there is one problem. He always comes in smelling like curry. We are packed together in a small windowless room for 3 hours and there is no way I can move my seat since there are no empty ones. I was thinking that if I came in before he did, I can spray his chair and his portion of the table with a bit of perfume to try and wash out the curry smell? Would I be a jerk for doing this? | WIBTA if I sprayed the desk next to me with perfume? | NTA |
10w5ydi | I 25(F) have a friend(26M) whom I met via a game. We started playing together a lot and he lives in the same city as I do. He once asked me out and I politely declined and asked him if we can still continue to be gaming buddies and I agreed. He once made an inappropriate butt joke and i told him that I didnt like such jokes and said he would stop. Yesterday he made another inappropriate joke and I told him if he keeps making me uncomfortable like this I would stop playing with him altogether . He called me an AH for not being able to take a joke. | AITA for asking my gaming friend to not make inappropriate comments/jokes? | NTA |
10vyjgm | I (22f) had some severe family problems regarding my wedding..and it was to the point that even my own father didnt attend my wedding. Now my friend (21f) of 8 years has always been very unsupportive. She has shown WAY too many toxic signs which included her openly cursing me just because i would have a diff opinion to hers... Anyways i never broke the friendship bc i'm naturally a soft sensitive person and so my heart wouldn't let that happen.Okay so now when my wedding date got near, i told her that there are many complications going on now in the family so idk how the marriage ceremony would go like. Upon this, she didnt care asking what that problem is or etc. Now i started getting really busy near my wedding date yk buying stuff....and i really needed a friends help.. but she didnt text me once even to ask how i'm doing etc. Now, when i got married, i sent her a picture of me and my man. And i thought she'd congratulate me and all..but she completely aired me. I started spam messaging her on another platform that why is she ignoring me..but to that she replied "um no im not ignoring you".I thought maybe she got mad seeing my wedding pic..so i assured her and messaged her that due to some serious issues i couldn't call any of my friend so i'm really sorry. I even called her after that but she ghosted me completely. Its been 2 months to this and she still hasn't contacted me back although she's active every single day. So am i the bad person for still not making contact and trying to get her back?? | AITA (22F) for not inviting my friend (21F) of 8 years to my wedding, due to some family problems | NTA |
10w5wns | So i (f24) and one of my best friends (we’ll call him J, hes 26) have been friends for about 8 years now. He recently had his gf (let’s can her A, shes 23) move in with him. I’ve met her a few times and we got along great. We first met on one of his birthdays, im usually the only girl there if his sister is out so it was nice to finally have another girl there. We had a really nice time and we had made plans for me to join them on that upcoming new years (2021-2022) At new years it was us three and another one of J’s friends R. A and i went out to get some snacks and drinks and it was just a really nice night. So fast forward to two weeks ago. I hadn’t seen J for at least a month because we’ve both been rather busy. I asked him if he’d want to watch a movie and hang out at his place, note A had moved in at this point, he said sure but ill ask A if shes okay with it. Which is fine ofcourse but she said she didn’t want me there. J then convinced her that it was fine and in the ens she turned around. Well, i went over and the vibe was just off. J wasn’t his usual annoying self. His jokes where very tame and not the normal stupid but funny stuff. We had dinner with the three of us and she didn’t really talk to me at any point only if i said something directly to her and then it still be a really short answer. After diner J and I tidied up in the kitchen and A went to sit down on the sofa. When J went to sit down and i sat down next to him she gave me a really weird look like i was crossing a line. I wasn’t cuddled up with J or anything i was just sitting next to him. Well after the movie i said bye and she gave me an awkward bye wave and J walked me down with his dog and i got in my car and i asked is anything was up with A and he said it was nothing. Since then hes asked to hang out again at his place and i told him ad rather hang at mine and he said that was fine but A didn’t want him going to my place alone. For context: In the last 8 years i have never had any type of sexual tension with this guy and hes feels more like a brother to me than my actual brother does lol. Thinking about even kissing him is really weird and kinda yuck to me So am i the butthole for not wanting to go over to their place and feel uncomfortable the whole time? | AITA for not wanting to hang out at my best friends house? | NTA |
10w5ptw | We are roomate and classmate. We have just met for around 4 months but I know she is a great friend. She helped me a lot and we're pretty close. Recently there is an election in our class to choose the monitor. The final result will be decided by teacher, however, we will elect 5 candidates for that. At first there were 6 person have the same number of votes, include me and she. Then we voted one more time between 6 person. And I was excluded. I know I deserved this, I'm not really as enthusiastic nor active in class as them. But then she told me to replace her. She said I studied better than her, and she was also not that active. That becoming the monitor wasn't so important to her. My GPA and her differ just a bit, and she's even more active than me. There're many benefits of being the class monitor. Also I'm not sure 100% I will have consent of our teacher. But I want to take that chance, too. Because of the benefits. But am I deserved this? AITA if I agree with her? | AITA for taking my closed friend's chance? | NTA |
10w5pao | This is gonna need a lot of context.My (28M) friend at the office (we’ll call her Katie 24F) have been friends about 2 years. There was a sexual relationship off and on. Anyways, we’re (or were) just friends now. We talk just about every day. A few days ago we got into an argument over text, that stemmed from me saying something she didn’t like. I didn’t think it was bad, but I swallowed my pride and apologized (multiple times). She didn’t talk to me much the last few days, she did randomly message me but was just very vague. Earlier tonight, over text I had tried asking how she is doing and was wanting less vague responses. She said “Well I tried telling you things but that lead to you being a jerk so”. I replied that I have apologized and tried really hard to make it up to you. She didn’t respond, which I figured was due to her about to leave for work. When she got there, I had just said something like “You’re obviously still irritated with me, I’m sorry..” she cut me off, saying that I was “dragging this out”. I said “You made a comment about me being a jerk”. She pretty much flipped out at that point, loudly told me to leave to my area. I did. I then messaged her with a direct reply bubble of her message saying I was a jerk. I said “I am not wanting to drag it on. You made this comment so.. How am I the one dragging it on? I would’ve literally never brought it up again. All I was trying to say.”She just removed me after that. Which for me is extremely hurtful and she knows that. I went back over to where she was, and said “really? You removed me??” She got more mad, saying “Yeah because I’m not wanting to talk”. I asked if she was not wanting to be friends anymore, and she said “we’re at work, learn how to separate your personal life”. It was close to shouting, at least the loudest I’ve ever heard her speak.Some additional context… Katie has sent me NSFW things *while* at work, as well as making gestures/innuendos. Not really relevant to this but shows she’s perfectly willing of doing and saying whatever she wants while at work but its one sided.She also has BPD.In my mind, it was a huge overreaction. The entire thing. However I know she doesn’t see it as one, so I typically keep those opinions to myself. Or maybe I’m just out of line and I am the AH. | AITA for confronting my friend at work? | YTA |
10w5oly | So first off, I’ve had my current puppy, a Chipin, for almost 10 years. She is my child. One of my friends has a Corgi but upon the grow in of her adult coat found out she is allergic. My friend sees and knows how I love my baby so she has asked me to adopt her.Well my mother, step father, and I all live together. My mom has two outside dogs and up until a month ago one inside dog. The. I came home from work one day and she just told me she was getting another dog and they were going to pick it up the next day. These are not small dogs, they are all large breeds.After my friend asked me to adopt her Corgi, I went home and spoke with my mother, explained and told her I wanted the dog. She then starts to tell me that she takes care of her dogs, to which I asked her if she was saying I didn’t take care of my own, and she back peddled on that. First saying they took my baby out during the day while I was at work, which is optional because she is crate and potty pad trained. She told me to give her and my stepfather the weekend to think it over.No first, let me say I am a 44 yr old woman and I was not asking permission. So mom comes back on Sunday to tell me she spoke with a friend at church and that she has friends who want to take her. The “friend” is a vet tech with several other animals and cats. I am also really concerned because this 8 mth old pup is not spayed (which I was immediately going to have done) and they would try to turn her into a breeder because she is akc documented.My mother’s complaint was that I wouldn’t spend the time with the new girl she deserved. I am always with my girl if I’m home. My mother even pointed out that I spend no time around her and my stepfather, which I don’t I like hanging with my puppy. Then mom throws out that the new dog might hurt my other dog or break her back. I already arranged to get both certified as emotional support and cleared to take to work with me everyday. I have a huge office and plenty of room for crates/toys.So first aita for being angry with my mother? Secondly, aita for not vouching for this other person that I don’t know? | AITA for Adopting A 2nd Dog | INFO |
10w8kxl | My GF (Sarah, 29) and I (M, 28) have been dating for 5 years, and I wanted to go on a vacation with her to celebrate. I planned the trip for several months (of course I shared my plans with her), and decided on skiing/snowboarding/other winter activities in CO. The activities seemed perfect, and I was looking forward to this for months because I wanted to propose to her at the end of the trip.5 days before the trip, Sarah dropped the ball on me that she invited 2 of her friends to meet her there. I was upset because I wanted to spend 1:1 time with Sarah for our anniversary. I feel like it was plain and clear that this was a trip for just us. Even though I expressed my concerns, Sarah insisted that her friends already made plans to come and won't back out.I decided to accept this because there was no way for me to force her friends to not come (I wish I fought more on this). I figured we could make some changes to our plans, and I would still be able to propose to her privately. Sarah essentially blew me off for her friends and we didn't get any private time.After 3 days of being in second place, I decided to leave the trip and head home. I told Sarah why I was leaving, and she was upset. She told her friends about my decision, and I was ganged up on. They said we were all having a great time. She thinks I'm being a jerk for making her pick between her friends and me (even though her friends weren't invited in the first place). I never had personal issues with her friends prior to this trip. I never made Sarah pick between me or her friends because everyone needs friends outside of a relationship.I'm at home now and thinking about everything. I have a day to myself before Sarah comes home, so at least I get to relax a bit. Sarah and her friends think I'm overreacting and think I ruined the trip. I think Sarah was disrespectful and rude to me by ruining the purpose of this trip and having her friends gang up on me.AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along?EDIT: This was a planned \*anniversary/romantic\* trip. I was clear that we have plans for just us two. We've been on other anniversary trips together without her friends there. We did discuss marriage beforehand, so it's not like a proposal wouldn't been out of the blue.MINOR UPDATE: My friends are here at the house and they have been running potential interference, just in case her friends try to bombard and harass me. They've been great and I'm so glad to have them! | AITA For Leaving a Vacation I Planned for my GF After Her Friends Came Along? | NTA |
10wk92f | Using a throwaway account.My (32f) daughter (16f) grew up extremely close to my sister (23f) because of how small the age gap between them is, and my sister got married in September. However she decided to have a childfree wedding, and my daughter was not invited.My daughter was extremely upset about this as my sister always talked about how important my daughter being at her wedding was going to be, and her wedding being childfree completely came out of left field.Recently, my daughter's 16th birthday past and she decided to have a small party with me as well as her father and a couple of other close family and friends. My sister wasn't invited, and when she asked me what time she should show up I told her that my daughter was still upset about not being invited to one of her most important events.My sister got upset, asking why I was letting my daughter punish her because she had her wedding how she wanted it. I asked what she expected knowing how close she and my daughter are, and told her she should have known that my daughter would be upset about it.My daughter had a blast at her party, and my sister is still being passive-aggressive towards me and husband. I know it's my daughter party, and it's supposed to be about her, but my sister's behavior is making me feel doubtful about my decision.So, AITA?Edit: I did initially bring up that my daughter not being invited upset her, but my sister told she wanted the freedom to go wild at her wedding and that my daughter would eventually get over it | AITA For Asking My Sister What She Expected After My Daughter Didn't Invite To Her Birthday | NTA |
10wc99b | When I was 18, my mom remarried my stepdad who had a baby girl, and we became as close as any sisters as she grew up. I'm now 34 and she's 17. Last week, she got outed at school and to make a bad situation worse, her dad was mad at her, said she was lying for attention, and when she said it was for real, called her a slur. She came over my apartment distraught and looking for some advice, I'm a lesbian and have been out for years.I told her that I was so sorry that happened, that was shitty since she deserved to be able to decide who to tell and when. But she wasn't the only one outed.Her dad? He just outed himself as a bigot. He outed himself as someone who should have never become a parent if he wasn't ready to love and accept his own damn child. And her school administrators? Outed themselves as negligent, probably even in the legal sense.But overall, when I come out, I often out other people wayyy harder than I out myself. It can be hard, but it can also feel empowering, to take a torch to the darkness, light it for all to see, and burn it away. Just by being in the room, and letting people tell on themselves, we're outing bigots. So I let them talk, and then go tell whoever I damn well please. I let them become known as ignorant and bigoted, cause that's a hell of a lot worse than being known as queer.I told her it was horrible her story was taken from her, but I hoped she knew it isn't taken forever. It's her right to say as much or as little to whoever she wants. And if someone gossips? They don't know her heart, they're just revealing their own hatred and ugliness. So don't let it eat at you. So document and record it if you want. Share it if you want, or keep it just in case. But whatever you do, it's all your call. It always is. We talked well into the night. And she was feeling way better afterwards, and ready to go home and face her dad again.Well, shortly after she went home, my mom called me. She said that my sis had come home and told her dad that they should "agree to disagree" about her sexuality, and anything further he had to say about it spoke only to his own character and said fuck-all about her. And when he tried to argue she took out her phone and started filming and saying "Do tell... You had a fucking child and weren't ready to love it? Get a fuckin DOG if you want something that'll come back begging when you abuse it" My mom called me furious because she thought I'd coached her on what to say, which I genuinely hadn't. I told her what advice I had given, and she was angry I even said that much, and asked me if it would have killed me to say that I think her dad loves her and to give him some time to understand. I was irate to hear that honestly because... Like what she actually said was heartbreaking and it hurts to hear my mom and stepdad didn't listen one bit. AITA for the advice I gave? | AITA for the advice I gave my younger stepsister, after she was outed against her will at school? | NTA |
10wgcq5 | AITA for interfering in the bouquet toss at my GF's sister's wedding? My girlfriend *(we'll call her 'Maggie')* and I went to her sister's wedding on Sunday (1/22). It was a great event, and things were going well for most of the evening. This was the first time I met Maggie's mother, but I had already met the rest of her family. When it came time for the bouquet 💐 toss, Maggie was one of the ladies in the group to try & catch it. I thought I had an opportunity to be funny and lift the mood, so I stood behind Maggie and slapped the flowers 💐 to the ground before she could catch them. Idk if she actually would have been the one to catch them, but I did it anyways. I was doing it as a joke, which I thought would be obvious to everyone (I was like 0.0001% serious, I'm actually not interested in marriage. I'm in my 20s). I really had no bad intentions & wasn't trying to upset anyone, I thought I would get a chuckle from the crowd. After I slapped the bouquet 💐 to the floor there was an audible *gasp* from everyone around, followed by an awkward silence. I was a little embarrassed but I laughed anyways to try to nonverbally show everyone that it was a joke. Nobody laughed. After a bit the moment had passed, and everyone was starting a big dinner. Nobody talked to me and I was getting a couple sideways glances. Maggie's mother eventually pulled me aside and (very respectfully) asked me to leave. To which I obliged. I didn't want to cause a scene. A few weeks later my GF & her sister are over it, but the mom still seems weird about it. I haven't spoken to her since then. Was this an AH move? Or was it just a lighthearted joke that was misinterpreted? | AITA for interfering in the bouquet toss at my GF's sister's wedding? | YTA |
10wkvge | Today was my BiL's birthday, and we had a family dinner. There was the birthday boy, his girlfriend, my husband, me, our baby, their parents, uncle and aunt. We went to a Mexican restaurant. I had steak fajitas. Our baby likes to eat off of our plates. He grabbed one of my tortillas, so I tore it into strips for him. He also ate the grilled tomatos, peppers and onions off of my skillet and grabbed a piece of steak to suck on.Brother in law's girlfriend said that it was unappetizing to see our baby grabbing food off of my plate and giving her anxiety as well because she was worried he would choke. I told her to look at her own plate instead of mine. She was somewhat put out when I said that. Halfway through the meal my husband took the baby so I could focus on my food and socialize a bit. Baby went to town on hubby's leftover chicken quesadilla.Again, brother's girlfriend said she was anxious and put off her food. My husband shrugged at her. After dinner, everyone else was using the restroom, and it was the two of us watching everyone's stuff. She told me I was very rude to her and that she was unable to enjoy her boyfriend's birthday because of our poor table manners. I said she should have focused on her boyfriend and her own meal instead of what my husband or I were doing. She said I was a very selfish person.I'm very irritated by the whole thing, but since she was so confident we were assholes to her, were we? | AITA because our baby ate off our plates? | NTA |
10w6z7c | I, 32F, have a 15yo daughter. My sister, 35F, got married last week. I was her MOH. My sister said that no children would be allowed at her wedding as they are loud and noisy. I brought my 15yo daughter because her aunt was getting married and she wanted to wish her well!At the wedding, my parents were shooting me daggers, and my sister came over furious. She asked "Who was I to completely disregard her rules?". I was confused until she pointed out that my daughter should not be there. I argued, saying that the reason she didn't want children there was because they would misbehave. My daughter was silent, never on her phone, and was extremely respectful.I left the wedding early and my parents are blowing up my phone with angry texts. My husband agrees with me, but says I could have handled the situation better. My sister is refusing to speak with me until I apologize, but I don't think I did anything wrong. So, AITA?Edit: Based on the responses, I understand that I was rude for not at least checking in first. I should have verified whether or not my daughter could come. There was no mal intent, but all the same I will apologize to my sister and daughter. My sister and daughter are very close, another reason why I thought she would have been invited.Edit 2: I have seen these questions a lot so :The invite was a pretty generic card that said "We hope to see you at our wedding!", with the RSVP info, dresscode, etc. I RSVP'd two people, my daughter and I. I believe my sister thought the two RSVPs were my husband and I. My husband did not attend as he was suddenly called out of town for a work conference. There was a place setting, chair, etc, for my daughter because I RSVP'd two people. I assumed my daughter would be allowed because my sister stated that she didn't want children at the wedding due to noise, tantrums, misbehavior, etc. | AITA For bringing my daughter to a childfree wedding? | YTA |
10wivoh | Fake names. I (27F) moved in with my boyfriend Chris (33M, together 4 years) a few months ago. Chris’s niece Emily (19F) also lives with here. Her home life was not very stable and she moved in with Chris right after her high school graduation and is now attending college in our area. Im a very organized person and I’ve been cleaning out and reorganizing closets and the garage since I’ve moved in. I don’t touch Emily’s things if it can be helped and I definitely don’t go in her space. There’s a little walk in pantry off the kitchen that Chris used as a general storage area and I’ve been wanting to clean it out and use it as intended. I pulled everything out and sorted into 3 piles - keep, move, get rid of. One of the things was a small box of craft paints and brushes. I checked to see if there was anything i could use in the box but besides a bag of popsicle sticks, nothing was salvageable. The brushes hadn’t been washed so they were ruined and the paint was mostly dried out. So I put it in the toss pile. When Chris got home, I had him take a look over what I planned to get rid of and he gave me the okay. I piled the stuff headed for the trash next to the garage door to sort for the garbage in the morning. Emily came home and saw the pile. The paints were hers not Chris’s moms. She got really, really angry with me for throwing her stuff out and yelled at me. Apparently she hates me. Hates my cat, hates the food I cook, hates my holidays, just dislikes everything about me. Im an idiot for not checking with her before throwing things out. I should move out. And etc. It was a lot to take in. I felt a little bad that I threw out her stuff but not too much, to be honest. None of it was usable and it wasn’t high end art supplies, it was generic craft paint and cheap foam brushes. And after she finished screaming at me, I really didn’t feel that bad at all anymore. She left to spend the night at her friends house. She didn’t take the box back out of the pile, if that makes a difference. Chris is really upset with her, way more than I am. He is thinking of asking her to move into the dorms or an apartment next semester and now I feel a little worse that’ll she be out on her ass because of me when she finally got a little stability in her life. Am I really supposed check with everyone in the house before I put trash in the trash? AITA? | AITA for throwing away my bf’s niece’s stuff without asking? | NTA |
10weiu2 | I (25m) am very thrilled that I am in the financial position to rent a house by myself. I worked all through college, have a good job now, and was excited to live alone. I’ve been doing so for about a year. This is going to sound very dumb but one thing I started to do as a bachelor living at home was walk around in my underwear. Not only is it comfortable but I’ve spent the last few years going from chubby to really fit and for the first time I don’t get bummed out seeing my body. It felt thrilling at first but now it’s part of my routine. My brother (18m) live in a city about an hour drive away with our parents. He picked a college about fifteen minutes away from me knowing he’d have to drive about an hour to school everyday and then an hour back. He asked if he could stay with me while he was at school. Now I wasn’t exactly thrilled about giving up my independence but also knew two hours of driving every day on top of college classes sounds awful. I told him he could stay with me rent free but I wasn’t going to act as any caregiver. He was on his own for food and I would be living my typical lifestyle without interruption. He agreed. When he moved in my brother was annoyed about the underwear thing. He started off making fun of me (in a brotherly way) before outright telling me to stop. I reminded him of our deal but he was still pissed. Now whenever my brother brought friends over he would let me know and I’d get dressed. But lately he hasn’t been giving me a heads up and multiple people have come over to see me in my undies. It hasn’t bothered me and I always get dressed. It happened enough times that I’ve asked him about it and he confirmed he was doing it to try and shame me into stopping. He said I was inconsiderate of him and I told him he can move out of my house whenever he wants. AITA? | AITA for continuing to not wear clothes around the house despite the fact my brother brings unannounced guests over? | NTA |
10wing2 | Hi there, my family is well aware that I am a big fan of building Lego sets. The gem of my collection is a very expensive Millennium Falcon set which cost me over $1000.Recently I had to go away for work and asked my sister, her husband and nephew to house sit, as I have two dogs. I have a big box of Lego pieces that I told them my nephew was free to play with but I made it very clear that the Millennium Falcon was not to be touched (it sits on top of a bookcase in my office).I came back from my work trip to find that my BIL, while my sister was out, let my nephew "take a look up close" of the Millennium Falcon and lo and behold, he dropped it, not only smashing it but damaging and losing some of the individual pieces (yes, I've attempted to reconstruct it since).I'm now demanding that my sister and her husband pay for a replacement but I'm being told I'm overreacting and my hobby is "for children". After several arguments, my BIL has offered to buy a $250 Millennium Falcon set from Target - not the Ultimate Collector Series version I originally purchased.AITA for demanding my sister's family replace the Lego set they broke?(This is a throwaway account, for obvious reasons.) | AITA for demanding my sister's family replace the Lego set they broke?? | NTA |
10whv7h | My husband and I (both 30) live about 2 hours from his brother (32M), brother’s wife, and their four year old son. Last night, they were in the area to celebrate SIL’s father’s retirement. We didn’t know they would be here and made no plans, but after dinner they showed up at our home at 10:10pm.We live on a dark street with a winding driveway that only faces our garage. We were already upstairs watching a movie and didn’t see them drive up. BIL called my husband but his phone was on silent and he didn’t see it until 20 minutes later. By then, they had already left, but he asked if he should call and tell them to come back. I said absolutely not - I had to wake up today at 6am for work and they would have come in, had a drink, and probably stayed until 12am. The house was kind of messy and I was already in PJs. Plus, I’m tired of them showing up unannounced. They do it randomly to “surprise” us (like they’re doing us a favor) and expect us to feed them and play the top hosts but don’t reciprocate. They also get mad when we’re not available to host them in the name of family. Of course, BIL called my husband and yelled for 20 minutes today about how we shunned them. He said that family should always be welcome and they would welcome us if we showed up unannounced (we never have). They hung up angry and now my husband is upset with me, saying it would be easier to just let them come in for an hour next time. So AITA for not?Tl:dr; BIL and family showed up unannounced and I pretended we didn’t know. AITA? | AITA for not allowing BIL’s family inside when they showed up unannounced? | NTA |
10w8wy8 | I (F42) have a sister (F26) who was hospitalized a few weeks ago for an alcohol OD. Luckily, she made it out alive, but she continued her old ways despite all that happened and still continues to drink her life away. I reached out to her 3 days ago to make sure she was okay and asked if she needed anything, but she went off on me out of completely nowhere, told me to fuck off if it's about her alcoholism and mind my own business, and that she'd block me if I wouldn't stop talking about her issue. I never once brought up anything about her being an alcoholic, nor did I lecture her. I was just checking on her. That's it.But there were many other times we did attempt to get her help. My mom (F62) and I have tried to offer her moral support more than a thousand times, whether it be getting her therapist, attending church with her, becoming involved in activities outside of our houses together, etc. but she turned us down every single time.I don't mean to sound cruel, but I have had it. I let my mom know that she's a grown woman and that grown woman should be solving her own problems, not us. I went as far as saying, "if she dies, she dies." We ended up having a heated argument and my mom exclaimed, "If you die, I won't be there at your deathbed or your funeral!" That's what caused distant relations between my mother for the past couple days.AITA? | AITA for telling my mom that if my sister dies, she dies? | NTA |
10wbp7m | Throwaway account for very obvious reasons. Some back story, my partners parents are homophobic and will not be attending our wedding. My mother had a liver transplant in 2021 after being extremely sick for a while.Flash-forward to this year and my fiancée and I will be getting married in September. We will be sending out invitations in a few months and recently met with an invitation designer. My parents have been very gracious in helping pay for the wedding which I appreciate more than I can say. However, my partners parents are homophobic and have told him they will not be attending the wedding. They have also forbidden any out of town guests from staying with them or even visiting while they are here for the wedding. My partner has been very upset about this and decided to not send a save the date or invitation to his parents.My parents have told me before that since they are paying for the wedding, they would like their names to go on them saying that they would "request the attendance" of guests at the wedding. They've said it's tradition and the right thing to do. As we were discussing the invitations, my fiancée said how upset the situation with his parents has been making him. We spoke and decided it would be best to not put my parents names on the invitations for two reasons. 1. Since his parents are extremely hurtful when it comes to our relationship, they do not deserve to be on the invitations, especially since they will not be coming to the wedding and 2. Because we both agree it would be awkward to have one set of parents on the invitation and at the wedding. In other words, my fiancée will have no parents at the wedding and will not get a first dance with mom, etc., already.However, my parents are very upset. They say I'm being hurtful by not having them on the invitations and that I should stand up for them to be on the invitations. However, they know the situation and I've told them that our invitation designer even said we shouldn't do the parents names given the situation. AITA? | AITA for not putting my parents names on my wedding invitations? | YTA |
10wg14u | For context, my family including me (29f), spouse (42), and stepdaughter (10f) have a 1.5 year old golden retriever who is very excitable and energetic, always in everyone’s business. My stepdaughter is also quite energetic and slightly absent minded (symptoms of ADHD). Last month, my stepdaughter was eating grapes. As stepdaughter was pulling the grapes off the stems, she dropped 2 grapes. Dog was nearby but didn’t get the grapes. However, after picking up and throwing out the dropped grape, stepdaughter dropped another one and this time dog ate it. Called the emergency vet (occurred on a Sunday) and we had to drive dog 1 hour to the pet hospital to induce vomiting. Expensive trip but worth it to save dog. We took stepdaughter with to see that even accidents have consequences, and that it is important to slow down and be careful, we thought this sunk in.Fast forward to tonight. Stepdaughter asks for chocolate as a snack. She tried to sneak off with a bag full of chocolate coins but as I saw this I told her to ask my spouse if she could have all of that at once (she tends to overeat sweets if not supervised). She went back to the kitchen and was told she can have 3 coins. So stepdaughter opened the pouch and dropped a coin. She picked it up and I came out to see what happened when I heard my spouse asking her why that keeps happening. Just then, stepdaughter accidentally drops the entire bag of chocolate coins and dog goes after them all. I shouted “No, no, no!!!” And snatched the chocolate coins from the floor, dogs mouth, and stepdaughter’s hands and said “we are done with this I’ve had enough.” I set the coins on the table then my spouse threw them out. My stepdaughter ran upstairs bawling and my spouse reprimanded me for my reaction. I feel bad for my stepdaughter but even accidents have consequences and this is a lot of close calls with dog. AITA? | AITA for my reaction to my stepdaughter dropping chocolate twice near our dog | YTA |
10wag7k | I (24M) know that a lot of people will just look at the title and just say I'm in the wrong because of the stigma, but hear me out. It is winter where I live so I'm consistently cold and not really sweating or anything. I usually shower when I feel gross and it usually takes me 5-6 days before I actually start to feel gross. I'm not crazy, in the summer when it's hot and sticky I shower every 2-3 days like normal but it just doesn't feel necessary in the winter!Anyway, the inciting incident here was on Sunday. I was ordering more shampoo and commented on how the price had almost doubled since last time. My girlfriend (29F) asked when I last ordered it and it was some time in mid-2020. She was shocked "how did it take you almost 3 years to go through a bottle of shampoo?" I told her that I don't use a lot and eventually we got into how frequently I showered and she acted like I was crazy. She didn't even know that I was averaging one shower a week because I keep good hygiene. I groom myself regularly and wear deodorant so I don't think anyone can really tell the difference. Then my girlfriend, we'll call her Granet, starts going on about "oh that explains the smell" and stuff like that. I totally think she was just making it up at this point. I've been dating her for 2 years and she's never commented about smell or anything. There's no way she just happened to decide that I smell bad now that she knows my shower schedule. She's just trying to shame me. We argued for a while about it and then she went home.Today, I saw my mom (56F) for lunch and I told her about it. She agreed with me that it's fine and that she's never thought that I looked greasy or unclean. My mom also said that I should consider showering at least a couple times a week if Granet has a problem with it, but if she can't actually tell the difference why bother? I'm considering trying to say that I'm showering every other day but keeping my normal routine. If she can actually tell the difference she will know but if not then it's just a little white lie. Is this wrong for me to do?Am I a supervillain just because I'm not following the societal norm? I remember reading that overshowering can cause head lice but no one even talks about that. Reddit, has anyone else been in a similar scenario?EDIT: Hey everyone, appreciate the comments from people who were kind and tactful in their replies. I've done some research after seeing the overwhelming amount of responses and I am going to start showering more to prevent the buildup of harmful bacteria. Also some people pointed out that I accidentally said Granet for the fake name. I'm dyslexic and meant to put Garnet lol! Thanks for coming out everybody hope you all have a good night! | AITA for only showering once a week? | YTA |
10wf1yz | My sister (21f) and me (18f) always fought when we were little. She never wanted a sibling and I didn’t necessarily want her to be my older sister either. My parents tried to make us get along but stopped after a couple years realizing that there was no point. I have been obsessed with getting straight a’s since I was a little girl. I only hung out with a few friends and spent my free time either studying or playing sports throughout high school. While my sister struggled in school and hung out with the wrong people and got into some very bad stuff. This didn’t make her a bad person but it made her make some very dumb decisions. One of her dumb decisions led to my nephew who is now 2 years old. I put aside my differences with my sister and have an amazing relationship with him. I babysit him all the time and come to play with him while my sister sleeps (she works overnights). My issue is that my parents and sister want me to give up my car to her so that she can have a safer car since hers is old and keeps breaking down. My car is something I worked my ass off for and I really don’t want to give it up. My parents bought it for me as a birthday gift since my grades had been so well throughout high school and I got into a very good college. I spent countless nights staying up till 3am studying, gave up on time with my friends and bf just so that I could keep my grades up. Honestly I view this car as my baby and a product of my hard work.My sister has been texting me all week about it and her boyfriend too. She has been telling me it’s only fair since I was the reason our parents never paid attention to her and just because I got good grades doesn’t mean I deserve the car. She told me i’d be putting her son in danger if I kept making them drive their unsafe car. My parents told me it’s completely my decision but I can feel that they want me to give it to her. I know they most likely can’t afford a brand new and even slightly used car now, especially since they are going to help pay half of my college.I understand that she needs a safer car but I don’t feel like it should be my responsibility to provide it for her. Like I said I worked so hard for it and I’ll be left carless if I do let her have it. I want my nephew to be safe but shouldn’t that be my parents job not mine. It is unfair for her but she choice to live that life and putting the blame on me just feels wrong. | AITA for not wanting to give up my car to my sister so that her family can have a safer car? | NTA |
10w66io | I cannot stand people being late to things. Well if you are late and you are getting there yourself, I don't care. But if I am there to pick someone up or we are leaving together I need them to be on time. I refuse to be late because of another person. It's a big issue for me because growing up my parents would be late to everything. We'd always arrive at a movie 10 minutes+ into the movie (after the commercials.) If we were supposed to be somewhere I just KNEW we'd be late. Even to important things that would reflect poorly on me. They'd make me late to all of them. So if I say we are leaving at this time or I will pick you up at this time. I mean that time. And my friends know this. They make jokes about times when I pulled up and waited until the exact time and just drove off to the destination.&#x200B;Recently we had a 4 day getaway with a few friends planned. One of my chronically late friends that knows how I am with these things asked me to pick her up. I told her that we were leaving at this exact time and that if she isn't there I will just go. I've never picked her up before but she usually arrives late to hangouts which I don't mind. As long as you're not making ME late I don't care. You can miss half the movie, oh well. The day came and I drove to her apartment. I was a few minutes early and texted that I was there. I didn't get a response until the agreed time she said she'd be at the car. She said "just a few minutes." I texted that I am going to the airport and that she should arrange an Uber. I just drove off and like 40 minutes later while I was at the airport she called me asking where I was. Which told me that I would have been waiting there for 40 minutes so I think I made a good choice. I told her that I said I was going to the airport. She said she thought I was joking and got pissed and even said "such a typical man."&#x200B;She ended up missing the flight and having to take a later flight and missed the first day of vacation. My friends are on my side and think it's silly that she is still so upset about it. They are like "you know how he rolls. this was your fault" and "why would you expect someone to wait 40 minutes?" Her best friend that is also friends with us is taking her side and said I was mean. I guess I do feel bad because we all put money toward this vacation and she missed a whole day of it. AITA | AITA for leaving without my friend when I agreed to pick her up | NTA |
10wl7eh | TAI'm such a hypocrite posting this here, but here we are.&#x200B;So my(35) birthday was yesterday and me and my family got together, and this were everything started . My stepson is graduating in a few months and my brother, Mark(40) asked him how he was going to pay for his college fees, especially since he was going to medical. My son told him that I was paying for a huge part and that my parents were giving him some money too. And my brother just got this nasty expression on his face and said something in the lines of "Of course the golden child's kids are getting everything handed to them too, even if they aren't related"I asked him what he was talking about and his gf piped up and started talking about how my parents loved me the most and how "dear poor Mark was so neglected" and other things like that. I asked what the hell she was talking about and she started giving examples on how my parents treated me better than Mark. Some of the few examples she gave was how Mark got in more trouble than me when he crashed our parents car (He drove the car high on drugs, while I panicked when I saw a spider on the dashboard and accidently hit the mail box), how I got my education partly paid for (We both had trust funds but my parents used his to provide support to the 3 girls he got pregnant (he was 18)), etc.Apparently his gf new nothing about any of this, judging by the look on his face and they had a fight about it at the party. They ended up breaking up. And his friends have been calling me to tell me I'm the AH | AITA for embarrassing my brother in front of his gf? | NTA |
10w6hw5 | I'm definitely the A to myself at least somewhat for getting into this situation, but I don't think the rest of this is me. I'm a junior in college. I ended up in a bad roommate situation where I needed to switch dorms mid-year. Unlike in August, the options are more limited for mid-year switches, and the only opening the office could find was with a married couple whose previous roommate had just graduated. I was nervous about living with a couple and especially a straight one, but these dorms are set up as apartments, each bedroom has its own bath, and it's only for one semester so I decided to suck it up. They did not. Cindy almost screamed and ran into her bedroom the first time she saw me. Alex covered it by saying that I just look a lot like someone she had a bad history with (gee, thanks) and that she has anxiety but will calm down. It's been a month now and she has not. Cindy has never spoken directly to me, so I have to go through Alex for any conversation, something that makes me really uncomfortable. She hides in her room if she so much as knows I'm home. In the times that I've been in the common room when she's walked in, she immediately ran to her room or outside. Alex keeps saying she "just has anxiety" and it will ease up, but it's very tense. They/her now want to schedule times for use of the common room or for me to share my schedule of when I'll be around to "make everyone feel comfortable". I don't want to do this. I shouldn't have to. I have a right to be home whenever without announcing it first. The housing office thinks I should to be polite because they're not telling me I can't be there, they just want an idea of when. I think my roommates need to just deal with it. I'm compromising a lot to live with them, and they need to as well. | AITA for being in the living room even though it makes my roommates uncomfortable? | NTA |
10wb35h | 8 days ago I sold a used car to a woman. I was the second owner and I know every nut and bolt that has ever been touched on this thing. First owner was my MiL and she gave me three folders worth of paper documenting every damn thing from the day she took the key from the dealer.Also, I just had the emissions tested 6 months ago. I've driven it about 500 miles since then. I only sold it because I was handed a crazy deal on a newer car (well, a 2012) and I can't drive twoMy phone rings today. The woman tells me she registered it Monday but she took it to a mechanic and he said the catalytic converter was ruined and was throwing codes. OK. Well, I immediately suspect that mechanic, as the P0420 code she mentioned (2008 Subaru Outback 2.5l) is almost *always* the O2 sensor and rarely the catalytic converter failing. It's absolutely possible the cat failed but honestly that is not the thing you jump to first. You change the O2 sensor and clear the code and see if it comes back. In fact you should change front and rear sensors because that will eliminate both from the problem, as that code covers both sensors and the cat. ANYWAY...She tells me the story. I replied:"Okay?""Well what can you do to help me this is very expensive.""You bought a used car as is. I can't help you if you think I'm financially responsible for this."The sweet voice disappears. She got ***INSTA***mad"Well I think you should do something this feels like a scam! This is gonna cost me so much money""Lady I think the mechanic is lying to you. You should definitely take it somewhere else."Now she starts actually yelling into the phone."YOU SOLD ME A PIECE OF SHIT THAT WAS BROKEN. YOU NEVER SAID THE CATALYTIC CONVERTER////"Oh hell no. So I yell "Ma'am" repeatedly until she stop talking."LET ME STOP YOU THERE. You bought a used car as is. Do not call me about this car again." And I hung up and blocked the number.Now I know there is an exhaust leak just after the muffler, and I told her that. The emissions test place said that has no bearing on the results as the cat was processing the exhaust before it hit the leak. And the leak is literally two inches from the exhaust tip at the back end. Again, I disclosed the leak, AND the vibrating heat shield that needs tightening every year or two. I told her every damn thing, right down to the fact that I lost a 10mm bolt for the belt shroud and zip-tied it down. I tried to be 100% transparent and she bought it anyway.I feel bad because I think a shop is trying to scam her for a cat and rear O2 sensor, when it's probably just the O2. But now I'm blocking her and not telling her that because she went from 0 to 987 mph yelling at me. AITA? | AITA for selling a used car and when the buyer called me a week later complaining, reminding her it's a used car, as is, and telling her not to call me again? | NTA |
10weudm | My sisters husband took off and left her with their two kids. She having a hard time supporting her and her kids so I've let her and her kids move in with me. I figured it would be a win win for both of us since I am also a single parent and could use some help with child care for my own two kids.We haven't run into any issues so far except when it comes to this one thing. I have since pretty much forever have gotten takeout or gone out to eat once a week. Its sort of a special rewards meal for the end of the week. Now that I have kids I of course include them and nowadays I just let them take turn take turns choosing what we're going to have.Soon after my sister moved in I realized that she could not afford to go out to eat or get takeout every week. It's not in my budget to pay for them in addition to my own family. I thought it would be mean to order takeout in front of them though so I made a new rule with my kids that for the time being we were not going to get takeout and only go out to eat for our special meal. My kids were fine with it because they could still go to their favorite places.On this past Saturday before we left one of my nieces got upset because we were going out without them again and they never get to have "good food" anymore. Other niece also said it wasn't fair and it turned into hysterics, so we quickly left.My sister has now asked that I not take my kids out as much anymore. Instead she thinks we could just do pizza once a month all together and that it wouldn't be such a big deal to stop going out. I'm okay with the ide of pizza once a month with them, but I think its a little unfair to my kids to stop our tradition for the remaining weeks in the month when they look forward to it so much. Also on a selfish note I really enjoy it. With three other people in the house I don't get as much time alone with my kids. I enjoy the company of my sisters and nieces, but sometimes I just want to have a meal alone with my kids. | AITA for taking my kids out to dinner every week while my sister and her kids are staying with us? | NTA |
10wbftu | On the fence with this one. My(26) GF(24) of 3 years is wonderful. She's punky, outgoing, gorgeous and has a unique personal style. I love her to death. Every bit of her. And this is about her hair. Don't get me wrong I have always loved her hair in every color and she used to dye it once every few weeks to new colors and such. When she takes care of it, its what they call "Unicorn" (?) hair. It's rainbow essentially. It's cool and her style and she's like a living Ramona Flowers. Now onto the issue. She hasnt kept up with it in over a year. Her regular hair is brown and has grown a lot so she has two tone hair now *ontop* of what's faded. The rest of her hair is swampy and green and orange and lots of faded colors showing through yellow hair and while I don't know much about hair, it looks like it's going to break off if she so much as brushes it the wrong way. It's fluffy and just looks, for lack of a better term, bad. Honestly though it looks very bad. Personally I dont truly care. It doesn't bug me. I know she used to care a lot about her hair so idk when or why she got apathetic about it as she does keep up other personal care habits like getting her nails done monthly and getting new tattoos.The issue is since dropping out of school this last semester she's been looking for work and a few of the ideas she has had are working in makeup stores (? \*only question cause Idk if thats what they're officially called) to be a floor artist (?). She's selt taught but has wanted to go into makeup for a while. She has an interview next week and has been asking about what to wear.. I gave her my input (business casual black clothing) and did comment on her hair at the time that she may want to either go back to her regular color or go get a haircut or new dye job to show off her style. Will note firstly said in a positive light since I know it can be a sensitive topic. She asked what I meant and it got into a whole thing with her keep badgering me to tell her what I meant and how I thouhgt of her hair. Way I see it, beauty industry is going to judge how their employees look regarding beauty (not like things you can't change, I mean like hair, makeup, nails and stuff) and that her hair since being neglected for months needs to be refreshed cause it looks really unhealthy and dirty and she immediately shot me down and said I was being mysognitstic and trying to 'change her' to my own preferences. She undoubtedly told her friends and now they all think I'm a controlling asshole too. AITA here | AITA for telling my girlfriend she needs to change her hair color? | NTA |
10w8bjl | My boyfriend’s mom Michelle, has 5 kids. My boyfriend, and 4 younger siblings (10,9,8,3). She’s a single mom, and often relies on me for babysitting, since most other people aren’t close by or won’t help for free. Michelle is getting married to Tony next weekend, and needs someone to babysit the kids for 4 days while she gets married and goes on a mini honeymoon. Michelle has told me that she doesn’t want me driving the kids anywhere, and only doing one activity a day as to not stress the kids out. (She’d consider a book, a small art project or playing outside for 15 minutes an activity). She also wants me to run the activity by her first, either through call or text. I’m a nanny and have experience with groups of upto 20 kids with just me in charge, so I’m confident in my childcare and driving. Michelle often complains to bf about me, and all the bad things I do, like walking the dog (small dogs don’t need walks according to her) , or teaching 10 and 9 how to make pizza, or things I say (10 yo doesn’t need to know about deodorant, I shouldn’t tell kids I volenteer at a homeless shelter ) and lately I’ve been doing nothing right. Bf tries to stand up for me the best he can, but Michelle is a crier when people disagree with her. Because of all this, I want to tell Michelle that if she doesn’t trust my judgement, she can find a new free babysitter. I might be the asshole for cancelling on Michelle so close to her wedding, knowing that a sitter for 4 days would be expensive and hard to find so last minute.AITA? | WIBTA for telling bf’s mom that if she doesn’t trust my judgement, she should find a new free babysitter for her kids? | NTA |
10wo47x | I (55M) have always loved kids, even thought I never wanted or had any of my own. In July will be 20 years I married my wife (48F). We were talking about having a big party to celebrate, and decided to redo our vows as well.For context, I have come to seriously dislike this trend of "no children wedding". Yes they make noise and don't behave perfectly, but that's what makes weddings fun. Most weddings nowadays are so boring and lifeless.Recently 2 young cousins and a niece (all in their 20s) had no children weddings. As I said, I don't have kids, but that bugged me. When the first no children wedding was announced I expressed disappointment, but didn't push or said anything else. When my niece decided to also have a no children wedding, I talked to my sister in private once... and never mentioned anymore (My sister also thought it wasn't good to exclude children but that's what my niece wanted). The third wedding was no under 18s, which I think it's even more absurd. But this time said nothing.So to the question in hand, last week I sent a message in the family group chat telling people to save the date, that we were planning a second wedding, and a big party to celebrate our 20th anniversary.And just to be cheeky, I joked that would be a "no young adults wedding" so no 18s to 29. This was a joke and I never intended enforcing this. I was just trying to make a point about the absurdity of excluding people from weddings based on age.Well... as you can image, that didn't go very well. People asked why and I said it's because it's gonna be an open bar and young people don't know how to behave and drink responsibly. (Similar to one excuse for no children because people will drink)My niece caught up I was joking, but send me a message privately saying it was hurtful for me to make fun of her wedding day. I said I wasn't making fun of it, only pointing out the absurdity not allowing children.Soon I came clean on the chat, that was just a joke. Most already had seen it for what it was. But people were still saying I was an asshole.I didn't thought it was that bad, until my wife sees the thread and go berserker on me. I hadn't even realized she wasn't reading the text as the situation unfolded. She apologized in the chat... and told me my idiotic joke could have ruined or anniversary, if already hadn't. She was embarrassed and hurt.AITA for trying to make a point about "no children wedding"? AITA for doing it without telling my wife? AITA for thinking excluding people from weddings based on age is stupid? AITA for embarrassing my wife? | AITA for saying my wedding will be a "no young adults wedding"? | YTA |
10wiorf | I (37f) have two kids (5 + 7). Me and my husband (38m) just purchased a new 4 bedroom house. One room for me and my husband, one for each child, plus a spare.Here's where the trouble comes in. I sew and craft a lot and would like a space for my equipment. My husband thinks we should bring the kids toys into the room for them to have a playroom. I do not like having my materials in the bedroom as I feel it cramps the space and looks quite cluttered. I also feel like I should have my own space as my husband has his computer with video games set up in the bedroom and my kids have both their rooms to play. To add on - my kids have both their rooms, the living room, and the backyard to play in. I do not think they need an extra room to keep toys in as all of their toys fit nicely in their rooms. I also feel like keeping their toys mostly separate will stop arguments of who's toy is who's because they will have their own toys in their own rooms. They are also more than welcome to play and watch TV in the living room. I feel like I do need the space to store and keep my materials and have space to myself where I can work undisturbed. My husband is adamant on them having the playroom and keeping my sewing and art supplies in the bedroom. This has been a major point of contention and I really just need to know if this is a terribly unreasonable request. AITA? | AITA for not wanting to give the spare room to my kids? | NTA |
10wahmv | Okay so, Me (21F) & my BF (25M) have an older neighbor. We live in a pretty decent neighborhood, where not much happens, and you don't hear much bad. We have a neighbor down the way, we'll call him Carl (50M). He comes up often to smoke with us, or just to come up & visit BUT, he's recently let this lady, we'll call her Sarah (50-60F) move in with him. She's an older hippy lady but, here's the thing.&#x200B;He showed her where our house is *(for whatever unknown reason?)* & now she comes to our house AT LEAST 3 times a week and just walks into our house without knocking. She's even gone as far to walk in on me and my boyfriend while we're having sex & she awkwardly stares at us at our door while we're unsure what to do because we're both naked.. I told her calmly, the first 5 times, to please knock before just waltzing into our house, as me and my boyfriend could be doing ANYTHING, because she's walked in on us once before. She does not care.&#x200B;So this last time, I yelled at her for it. I felt a little insensitive as she is an older lady but, my gears are absolutely grinded when I'm sitting on the couch & this woman randomly comes up & starts to jingle our doorknob trying to get in. It literally send fire through me. I've started to lock the door now & she still comes up here & aggressively tries to turn our doorknob. I know she's harmless but, I feel like our privacy is being invaded SUPER hard.&#x200B;I'm from the south. It's not acceptable to be a stranger to someone & just walk into their house without them knowing who you are.&#x200B;**TBA:** *I have started locking our doors for a bit now :) However she'll still come here & jingle our doorknob aggressively.* **AITA; for yelling at this woman to stop walking into our house without knocking because we do not know her like at all.** | AITA: For yelling at my older neighbor for walking into our house without knocking? | NTA |
10w6xqe | My fiancé (30M) and I (29F) were told by 4 different doctors over the last 2 years that we wouldn't be able to conceive without medical intervention because of a hormonal disorder I have (PCOS). We're getting married in a few months and my current OBGYN suggested we start trying now since "it won't actually happen for a while". WELL! We started taking ovulation tests. The first two months I didn't ovulate, as expected. But last month (January) I thought I ovulated but wasn't really sure. This morning we got a faint positive, but a positive nonetheless. I don't know how we managed to conceive our first real try after 4 doctors and I don't even know how many tests said we couldn't. But we did. We obviously know what can go wrong so we're excited but also terrified. Fiancé and I agreed we'd keep it between us and 3 friends we agreed on. One of those friends was my friend "R". We've been best friends for 14 years. "R" is \*very\* childfree. Which is fine. I would never expect him to babysit or go out of his way to play with my children. But I do expect some decency. If the kid comes up to you and says "Do you like my picture?" be nice and say yes kind of vibe. R knows how I feel about children and how upset the PCOS. made me. He knows what PCOS is and what the risks and challenges are. When I told him he said "Oh? There's still plenty of opportunity for something to go wrong." and I said "Yeah...we know...just trying to be excited while we can..." and he said "You could just get a puppy." And I didn't answer. My other best friend "M" says IWBTA if I said something to him. She says he's childfree and I can't expect him to "change" because I'm having a baby. She also said after all these years of friendship I can't be that caught off guard. I don't think I'm asking I'm to change anything. I'm not expecting him to babysit or change diapers or feed the baby or anything. But a little support? Sympathy? Kindness? I don't think that's asking him to suddenly love children. Technically, sort of, in a way, there's not even a child yet. I'm 12 days past ovulation. I don't even think there's a yolk in the yolk sac at this point. So I'm really asking him to be nice to ME at this point. Although I would like to tell him that when we do have a child, whether that happens from this pregnancy or a different one, he needs to be nice and friendly towards the child. I want to say something like "Listen, I know you don't want kids and that's fine. But this is crazy and scary and I would appreciate your support and good vibes. Not jokes about miscarrying so I can get a puppy. And then I have the baby I'm not expecting you to babysit or take care of the child, but I am expecting you to treat them like a human being and show them kindness and respect." Too much? M says I'd be an AH. So is M right? WIBTA for trying to "change him"? I really trust M's opinions so I'm second guessing myself. | WIBTA for asking my friend to please stop making "jokes" about my baby? | NTA |
10wnro8 | **ETA**: I am not a religious person. My son on the other hand identifies as Christian and I support him no matter what. Regarding religious views, I don't care what he believes or does not believe in as long as he's happy. My only problem with his mother is not that she wants to teach him to see things from different perspectives (non religious ways), but how she does it by making fun of him and his faith..I am (30 M) a single parent. My son is 10 years old. Backstory, years ago on a drunken night, I got my (ex) gf pregnant. Abortion was not an option because here it was (and still is) against the law. She gave birth and told me she wasn't ready to be a mom. So she left me and our son. Being a young father in my early 20s was difficult but thankfully I got by.I am not a religious person myself, but after befriending this one kid at school, my son has been going to church since he was 7 and involved in a lot of charity works, which I think is important to instill kindness and goodness in him until he gets older and decides what's best for himself. He identifies as Christian.Last year, my son's mother suddenly contacted me again. She's now married and has 3 children of her own. She said she was sorry and wanted to reconnect. I've always been honest and open with my son about why his mother left. But I also tell him that if one day she wants to reconnect and apologize, he shouldn't hold any grudge against her. People make mistakes. But I will support him no matter what he decides.Now twice a month, he would take the train to a neighbouring city to spend the weekend with his mother and her husband and their kids, who love him so much. We took up where we left off and decided to unofficialy co-parent him Yesterday though, he told me that he didn't really feel like spending the weekend with them anymore. When I asked him why, he told me that they were teasing him for being a Christian. His mother has even told him many times that God does not exist and that being religious means you've been brainwashed to be narrow-minded and stuck in outdated teachings. I could see that it offended him deeply. I rang his mother up and told her everything, instead of saying sorry she started accusing me of brainwashing my son to believe in such nonsense as religion, God, etc. I told her she has no right to criticize something so personal to him. He is who he is, take it or leave it. She said since we are now co-parenting him, she is only going to teach him to see things from different perspectives as to broaden his mind and worldview. I told her no. And if she doesn't stop, he won't be spending time with them ever again. She started crying and calling me a horrible person for taking away her right to mother him. AITA? | AITA for refusing to compromise with my ex on our son's belief? | NTA |
10wi3en | So me (f) and my bf are both 18. He has ADHD, and is quite literally the least organised person you could imagine. When I say he is late for everything, I mean it. Hell, that boy would even be late to his own fckn birthday party. When we need to be somewhere or are meeting, I’ll have to tell him he needs to be there 20-30 minutes earlier than the actual time. His folders for college are a complete mess, he doesn’t file anything and around 2/3000 potentially important sheets and documents are just stored on the flier in the spare room of his house. I worry how he’ll cope in the real world with bills and documents, etc.Anyway, it was my mothers wedding last weekend. He was at myn the night before but needed to go home in the morning to collect his suit. I told him to be at the venue for 11. No later, on the dot. Well, it had got to 11.30, and he’d still not shown up. My mother was literally about to walk down the aisle, and several people were asking me where he was. Just imagine how embarrassing this was. I didn’t receive a text from him, no communication or anything. He ended up arriving at around 11.50, and he’d completely missed the marriage. As you can imagine, I was absolutely raging at him on the inside, but all the family where greeting him and making a fuss of how tall he’d gotten, etc, so I had to contain my anger and just smile on. No one else seemed to be bothered, which seriously irritated me. It’s just selfish in my eyes. After the lunch and before the evening events, everyone had a bit of time in their hotel rooms. (Hotel was on site) When we got back up to that room, I screamed at him. I just yelled about how annoyed and upset I was that he couldn’t even turn up on time to a day so important to me. Unsurprisingly, there was no justifiable reason for his late arrival, apparently he ‘got distracted’. He also looked very hot in his outfit which irked me as I was less happy with how my dress and makeup turned out, and was smirking throughout this whole ordeal while lying on the bed seemingly unbothered, which really pissed me off and was the last straw. So, I said ‘why can’t you just be normal.’ This is when his mood changed. He wasn’t smirking now, he went all subdued and seemed upset. I regret saying this, it’s not his fault he has ADHD, but he hurt my feelings by turning up late, so in that moment I wanted to hurt his. And I think I did. These last few days he’s been downcast and toned down, not like his normal lively self at all. He hasn’t spoken to me about the incident at all though, so I guess maybe he could be upset about something else? I spoke to Mom about the incident as it was her big day after all, and she said I overreacted massively and shouldn’t have said what I did. She told me how she loves his ADHD and how it makes him unique, and now I feel terrible, but I also feel like my anger was justified as he needs to learn to respect people’s time more, especially on an event so important. AITA for how I reacted? | AITA for yelling at my boyfriend with ADHD for being unorganised? | YTA |
10wenb8 | I (22m) have been with my girlfriend (32f) for about 6 months now, and at the beginning of our relationship I noticed when making us sandwiches that her pickle jar had what looked like, copious amounts of pepper? Didn’t think much of it till we moved in together a week ago, and there were OREOS IN MY PICKLE JAR!!! I wouldn’t be mad if she had her own separate jar of pickles for this but she’s ruined the household pickles!!! I told her that was disgusting and she literally didn’t think about anybody else who may have wanted a regular damn pickle. She claims it’s ok because I never noticed until I actually saw it. I don’t want soggy Oreos in my pickles and now she’s refusing to speak to me because she says I overreacted by telling her she wasn’t considerate, AITAEdit: to answer some questions, I bought all the groceries, and even told her I’d get an extra jar if she requested, she thinks I’m overreacting since I didn’t notice until I actually SAW the Oreos. As to why she does it, she said she just “likes the sweet, salty, & sour mixture” which I get but like maybe use a Tupperware dish and serve it as you go | AITA Girlfriend keeps taking Oreos and putting them in pickle jar | NTA |
10wgf2a | I (28F) recently invited my (25M) gay friend over for dinner and just general hanging out. We’re both the only out queer people at work so that’s how we became friends. We started talking about literature and books and stuff and I told him I preferred comics, and he asked what kind of comics. I was up front with the kind of comics I liked (Boy’s Love, which is like a genre of comics/books that feature male on male romance and sex, more commonly called yaoi) and he was surprised and asked to see them. I took him to my bedroom where I kept my stuff and showed him.He got really quiet when I started showing him the comics I read, and I asked him what was wrong. He said he thought that I was kind of weird for reading and liking these comics, and that it made him uncomfortable that I had a “fixation” on “toxic and weird gay porn.” I was hurt that he was talking about my interests like this, so I told him I told him BL (Boy’s love) was how I found out I was queer, but he was still uncomfortable, so I just brushed it off and we went back to talking about other things. He’s been kind of distant ever since then, and I’m wondering if he’s just being sensitive or I legitimately fucked up. So, AITA for showing him my BL collection? | AITA for showing my gay friend my comic collection? | YTA |
10wnkd0 | I'm currently planning a wedding that will take place next fall. My mom loves buying new dresses, so shortly after we got engaged she started sending me pictures of dresses and asking if she should wear them to the wedding. Truthfully, I was a little annoyed that she wanted to talk about that before anything else. I told her they were all nice choices and that she should probably wait to buy one, since the ceremony is almost 2 years away. Today, while I was in a meeting, she sent me a picture of [this dress](https://dimg.dillards.com/is/image/DillardsZoom/main/mac-duggal-embellished-v-neck-illusion-long-sleeve-gown/00000000_zi_53ab3586-defc-4716-9441-8f7464ae24b0.jpg). When I saw the text, about 30min later, I told her that I really didn't want anyone else at the ceremony to be wearing white or off-white besides me. She said the dress was taupe with other colored accents, and that she'd already bought it a few days ago on clearance. She said she couldn't return it, but that she was worried about not being able to find a dress in time. She also kept insisting that the dress isn't close to off-white. After going back and forth on it a few times, with her saying I was just upset because of the cut (which I personally had no problem with- I even suggested she try to exchange it for the same dress in a different color), I was pretty angry and told her this is a boundary I'm not budging on. She told me I was being rude and unreasonable. Now she's responding to my messages very curtly. | AITA for saying my mom can't wear a Taupe dress to my wedding? | NTA |
10wns53 | I pay my ex-wife an agreed upon amount of child support that is well over what the state would require. On top of the child support I cover 100% of health and dental insurance and the kids cell phone bills. My oldest of three just turned 18 and graduated high school. I approached my ex about reducing the amount as there are only 2 children now as my oldest daughter is an adult. I still cover her insurance, cell phone and she knows I will help her always. But my ex flipped out and now my oldest reached to me to tell me that me wanting to adjust the amount of child support I give hurt her feelings and now my ex will have to charge her rent. Is my ex inappropriately using my daughter against me or am I the asshole? | AITA; ex-wife telling children I don't want to pay for them | NTA |
10wjtp6 | I (23F) have a 10 year old niece. She is a super smart and cute kid, definitely my favorite out of nieces and nephews. However recently she said something slightly out of pocket and I feel a little guilty for laughing at it. We were getting ready to go out to dinner and her mother (my sister in law) was commenting on the jeans she was wearing, talking about how they were sagging around her hips and didn't fit her well. My niece has always been a bit bigger and just recently has started cross country and track and she had lost a ton of weight so I wasn't surprised. She simply said back, "Well have you seen Dad's jeans? Better saggy than faggy" with a smile on her face. I couldn't help but burst into laughter at this and it took me a minute or so to register the weight of what she said and that it definitely wasn't appropriate for a 10 year old (or anyone really) to be saying. However I laughed for awhile just because of how she said it and also the fact that I know my brother wears jeans wayyyy too tight and it doesn't look great on him. Her mother later talked to her about why that wasn't okay to say and she gets it now but afterwards, she came up to me and started getting angry with me for laughing at her which she said would only encourage the behavior. I just apologized and said it caught me off guard and I more so thought it was funny she was so quick to string along words like that. Her mother got angry and said it should never be funnyedit: yes I did talk to her afterwards as well, I told her it wasn't cool and I only laughed because I was just shocked and that she should absolutely never say that. | AITA for laughing at my niece's use of a slur | YTA |
10w88zo | Okay, this is pretty silly and low stakes. Context, I’m American and my boyfriend is Canadian, and I’m currently visiting him for a month. Obviously I bought myself some food, include cup noodles.So my boyfriend and I are in the kitchen and I say “I’m gonna make some ramen for myself.” as I get the cup noodle out. My boyfriend gave me a really puzzled look, raised his eyebrow and said “… that’s cup noodles, not ramen.”Now, this confused me. In America, the cup noodle brand I buy from is labeled “ramen soup”. I told him this, and we went back and forth for a while. He argued it’s not ramen and that ramen is more specific, has to be of a higher quality and have a certain type of noodle. I laughed, said that I was just going based on packaging. He said “Well, don’t call it something it’s not.”Now, here’s where I could be TA. I told him flat out (and admittedly in a bit of an annoyed tone) that I wouldn’t call it something else, and that it was stupid for him to make that request when it is literally called ramen where I live, and that I don’t care to change what I call foods. He said I overreacted by becoming upset at his request, and the rest of the night was a bit tense.There’s no bitterness about this now as it has been a few days and it has mostly been dropped, but I keep thinking about this and I genuinely want some outside input, lol. | AITA for calling a generic brand of cup noodles ‘ramen’? | NTA |
10wo4z1 | Last week I was driving home from a friend's house and at a red light, two women beside me started waving, rolled their window down, and asking where I was going, etc. I didn't respond, but it admittedly felt good to be the object of their attention. I told my wife about it thinking it'd be a funny conversation but she was not laughing. She suggested I liked it and I admitted to her that yes, it was an ego boost but that I had obviously not thought about it any deeper than that. So now she's mad because I liked it. I was just being honest about my feelings with her. AITA? | AITA - I admitted to my wife that two women waving on the highway was an ego boost and now she's mad at me. | NTA |
10wc91l | About a week ago I went out to eat with my MIL, my husband, and my FIL. My MIL is sometimes difficult to carry a conversation with so I always try to find something that interests her to talk about. I know she likes to cook so in an attempt to make conversation, I told her that earlier that day I had roasted AN ENTIRE CHICKEN and did not know what to do with all of it. She asked me about how I cooked it and I told her. Then we went through a run down of how she would have cooked it differently. This conversation lasted about ten minutes, during I didn't say much beyond periodically interjecting with "Wow that sounds really good, I will try it next time," and "Yeah I am just really overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of chicken in my fridge rn, so I can't really think about the future right now."Fast forward to the next day. I come home from work, open the fridge, and what do I find next to the piles of chicken I had made the day before? AN ADDITIONAL FULL CATERING SIZED PLATTER OF CHICKEN. LEGS, BREASTS, THIGHS, WINGS....literally POUNDS of chicken. I called my husband over to ask exactly what the fuck was going on and he explained his mother had dropped it off that morning and asked if I wanted to give her a call to thank her for cooking for us, to which I replied "absolutely not."This kicked off an argument between him and I where he called me ungrateful and I called him blind to her manipulative antics. I explained to him that just 24 hours prior I had stated to her several times that we already had too much chicken in our home, and she had verbally acknowledged that she understood this, even going so far as to criticize how said chicken was prepared. He countered that I am "overthinking" the situation, that it is "just chicken" and that his mom cannot do anything right in my eyes. We argued about this for some time and eventually had to agree call off the conversation without coming to a consensus. He is still upset that I refuse to thank her for the carcasses and now feels it will be awkward the next time we see her.we still have not come to a resolution and now I am beginning to wonder, AITA?Just adding a little info for context. This is the same woman who buys me clothes that are visibly too small for anyone under 15 and comments on my weight when they don’t fit, fakes illnesses when my husband has deadlines coming up and doesn’t give her enough attention, comments on my skin tone in comparison with the rest of my family, threatened to cut my husband off a week before our wedding, had me take a cab when I needed a ride to the hospital, and asks me EVERY TIME I SEE HER if im pregnant… so no it’s not just about the chicken lol.More context: the chicken was basically unseasoned | AITA for Not Thanking my MIL for Chicken? | NTA |
10wc5yn | I'm 22f and until last year I've been renting a very shitty 1.5 bedroom space with someone I found on the university bulletin. She made me pay half even though I got only the 0.5. I lived out of my suitcase and used an airbed because it was unfurnished. But she was still the worst part. Her rules:1. No-visitors for me2. 10pm curfew because she's a light sleeper3. Can't use public space because she is OCD 4. 1 day cap on refrigerating food. Even cool drinks. 5. Can't show up around her boyfriend. If I'm inside/outside the house I stay there until he leaves.6. I won't be on the lease. But I thought this was how things worked and let her gaslight meI made amazing friends, though, and usually stayed over at their houses. But one day I came home after a night at my friend's and met her boyfriend. Who had no idea I lived there. He was confused I had a key and when I awkwardly explained things to him he revealed she said she lived alone and was thinking of not renewing her lease to move with him. He was concerned for my living situation. I was pissed. I texted my friends asking if I could crash at their couch for the same rent I'm paying her until I found better boarding. My friends more than welcomed me and I left the same day. Lived out of a suitcase, remember? I dropped the keys with him and told him what she put me through because I kinda owed him. The dude was pissed and he put the key outside her door and left with me. This actually happened early in the morning with her in her room because she, in fact, is not a light sleeper. She texted me later yelling at me for "breaking the lease and having to pay a fine" i didn't though, and "seducing her boyfriend like the slut I am" also didn't happen but ok. When my friends actually got the whole story they got so mad at me for being the biggest doormat and said I was welcome to stay at any of their much nicer apartments for however long. During my apartment hunting I found several forums for house renting. But I also noticed flatmate was putting up her own ads on them. I don't know why but on these groups with 1000s of people I wrote a message about how horrible a flatmate she was. I said the choice is theirs to make but if they can afford to then they should choose better. I had blocked her at this point so she couldn't even reach out to me to ask me to take it down. My friends know and approve of this but, someone from the forum privately messaged me and said I don't have to be so malicious because this could make her homeless. I said if someone is actually desperate despite hearing what I have to say then it won't matter to them. I have always made it clear that it's their choice entirely and they should know what they're getting themselves into. But now I wonder if maybe I am being too vindictive. | AITA for sabotaging my ex-flatmate's attempts at finding new flatmates. | NTA |
10wnymz | We split the rent, utilities, food, etc. SO turns on the space heater at full power an hour before leaving for an early flight and forgets to turn it off. 8 days later, we come home to a sweltering apartment that fortunately didn't burn down in our absence. I say "Hey, that was dumb, but shit happens. Let's move on. Though I'd appreciate it if you cover the electricity cost for the time we were away." SO does not agree. Tension ensues. | AITA for suggesting my SO cover the electricity costs for leaving a space heater running for a whole week? | NTA |
10wnavb | I have a hybrid job that allows me to work from home or go into the office. We recently moved into a new building that has other staff members for other attorneys. One assistant is there 8 hours a day—I assume she does not have the option to work from home.I come and go at different times from her, but I am always polite, if a little awkward. I have my own office upstairs, and I understand this has been her space for quite a long time, but I work for a different attorney who advertised the job as hybrid and has no problem with me working from home. The other assistant has been passive aggressive. I feel bad because she's been doing this a lot longer than I have, but when I entered the game, hybrid work situations became commonplace. I want to create a healthy atmosphere, be as friendly as possible, but I don't feel I need to change my work habits for someone I don't work with. | AITA for choosing to work from home? | NTA |
10wmzkq | My eldest son Travis is 20 and we've started to butt heads ever since he dropped out of college to basically be his mom's/my ex's personal assistant. She basically lives off an inheritance that she got a few years ago.I told my son to his face that I'm disappointed in him and I'm not going to pretend that I'm not. He went back and forth between my house and his mom's but I told him he needed to go stay with his mom if he's not doing anything with his life.That was two months ago and there's been no contact aside from his asking me or my wife if he has any mail. Today, I come home from work and there is Travis playing outside with my three younger sons (his half brothers) who are 12, 10 and 5. I went to get my Nesquik strawberry milk and it was gone. Travis drank my last one. I laughed and he came in. He said "hey." I asked why he was over. He said he wanted to see his brothers. I asked if there was anything else and expecting him to say that he also wanted to talk to me. But he didn't so I said "so are you done seeing them and drinking my strawberry milk?" He said bye and walked out. I later texted him and said he can't just show up like he lives here. And don't bother telling your mom because I blocked her from contacting me. My wife said I was harsh on him but like I said, he doesn't live here and doesn't get to come and go as he pleases. That's common respect.FYI - he just showed up with gifts for my other sons and my wife thought nothing of letting him in.Edit: He has a long way before he can just show up unannounced and eat my shit like Urkel or Kimmy Gibler. | AITA for asking my son why he's over my house? | YTA |
10wk8f9 | Hi, i dont know if this is the right place to ask but i need to know because i feel like made my parents real mad.I was at the system since i can remember, i cant actually remember my birth parents, but im now 15 and about 4 years ago i was adopted by a couple. Was lucky to finally get out of the system and im happy to have a home, my own food, my own room, it came with big changes like i had to convert to catholicism and need to go to church every sunday but they are loving parents.The thing is that i think im gay, i never been interested in girls and was teased for it a lot in the system, but didnt mind, the system made me kinda introverted so i dont fully open up to my parents. Ofc i was too young to really know while in the system but is kinda really waking up on me as a grow older. So in school there is this guy who is very handsome, i had a crush on him and we became friends until months later we decided to try have a secret romance. Introduce each other as best friend and hangout a lot, we have only kissed and cuddle but i really like him. So he was at my home on the weekend, played games but we were kinda tired so rested at my bed together cuddling. My door was locked but my dad opened it with a key i didnt know he had and found us together, he yelled at him and kicked him out of the house and then yelled at me. I cried for hours.Then mom came home and both had a talk with me, they were both very disappointed at me and themselves and forbade me to see my friend again after school, they removed the lock on my door and said would watch me closer so i dont deviate further. They said that if they knew i was gay when adopted me they wouldnt done it and felt scammed by my agency and lied by me.I never meant to make them mad or sad, maybe i should have been more honest to them earlier so we could work this through. aita?&#x200B;edit: minor mistakes | AITA for not telling my adoptive parents that im gay? | NTA |
10wnqyh | So I (18 m, gay, which will be relevant to the story) live with my aunt and uncle. My parents are divorced and both live an hour away from where I'm going to school so they generously offered to let me stay with them until I graduate.I recently had surgery and ended up staying with my mom for a few days because she's a nurse and had the week off to help take care of me. When I got back to my uncle's, there was a bag lying in the middle of the bed with my douche, condoms, and lube. (Surprise surprise, I'm a teenager who's sexually active)My uncle confronted me about it and asked me what they were for. I told him he already knew what they were for. He told me he didn't want to see any of that stuff in his house. (To clarify, neither of them have a problem with me being gay. But they were both raised Christian and are big on the whole 'no sex until marriage' thing).I asked him why he was in my room in the first place and he said he was just leaving a package for me on my bed when he "happened to see that stuff lying around". I know that's a lie because I keep it inside of a bag inside of a lidded box in the bottom drawer of my nightstand underneath a bunch of papers and stuff.He said it was his house and he's allowed to look wherever he pleases, and that it was very disrespectful of me to try and hide things from him. (If I was actually hiding it from him he wouldn't have found it, e.g. the numerous bottles of alcohol I have hidden but that's not relevant).He then told me he wanted to watch me throw it away, which I did, but I mean I'm just gonna buy more. So AITA for having that stuff in the house where someone could "accidentally" find it? Also no, I've never had sex in their house in case anyone asks. | AITA for telling my uncle not to snoop if he doesn't want to find gross shit in my room? | NTA |
10wgzpg | My (30F) fiancé (30M) grew up in a really close neighborhood. His family was especially close to their next-door neighbors. They practically lived in each other’s homes, parented each other’s kids, etc. When I met him, they had drifted apart in a big way but still saw each other 1-2 times a year at town events (his family had moved out of the town but went back for the fair every year). I will say that his family looks up to the other family, but that’s not really reciprocated. His parents speak as if they’re still that close though they rarely see them.My fiancé’s friend (his age), a “child” of this neighboring family, got married a 1.5 years after we met and I was not invited. Since then, they’ve mailed us Christmas cards with only his name on them, invited him to dinner 2 times (but very clearly only him - he said he wasn’t free but would love to do something the four of us at some point), and then did not reach out after that. He hasn’t heard from the parents nor the kid. They also suggested in the early days of our relationship that he could do better, that I wasn’t right for him, etc. Very subtly and “kindly” but then never tried to include me in anything once it was clear we were serious.Now, we are getting married in 2 weeks. It’s been a long process - we’ve been engaged for seven years. We don’t see these people — ever. But his parents and siblings got VERY upset when they found out they weren’t invited. Apparently the mother of the other family reached out to my MIL to express hurt feelings. His family said that they thought it would be like a reunion. They are subtly blaming me for “changing” my fiancé and keep saying how hurtful this is. My fiancé is on my side - we kept the guest list to closest friends and family. But to be honest, I am the one specifically said I wasn’t comfortable having them there after how they treated me. If I changed my mind he would probably include them. The thought of having them there makes me sick but I also don’t want to be the cause of strife in his family. So AITA for not inviting them?Tl:dr; fiancé’s family is upset I’m not inviting their oldest friends to our wedding. AITA?Edited to clarify: I’m not worried about what the other family thinks - I literally never see them, so the main issue is my fiancé’s family. They believe that the other fam can do no wrong and weren’t ever rude or even weird with me. It’s causing his two brothers (who are in the wedding) to say they don’t want to get ready with him morning of. | AITA for not inviting fiancé’s longtime friends to our wedding? | NTA |
10w67ng | I (23F) was asked by my mom to endorse my little sisters loan for cosmetologist school. I told her no, because my credit score is already in hell (high 400s) and I’m having a hard enough time paying my own student loans back. I just moved to my first apartment, and Just secured my first full time job. I’m behind on my own payments like a thousand dollars. And so adding another loan to the picture is terrifying for me. I asked my mom if she asked my little sisters dad if he can endorse, and she said he’s maxed out. I’m not sure what that means but, yes. I asked her if she asked my older brother, who has no loans and a stable income and she just ignored my question. I’m the eldest daughter so a lot of big shit is asked of me by her , and I just don’t feel comfortable doing this. Especially because my mother can be a liar at times. For a while I was sending her the loan payments for my own student loan because i didn’t have my log-in and it turned out she was consistently not actually paying them. I was getting notices from sallie Mae about my loan being behind and not knowing why. Because I was sending her the payments. That taught me early on not to trust her with money, so I’ve been making the payments online myself. Idk I want my little sister to go to school. I just don’t want to endorse this loan for my mom. Am I the asshole for telling her no? | AITA for not endorsing for my mothers parent plus loan? | NTA |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.