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10w3hvc | i’m in high school and there is a special ed kid (i’m not sure what he has, he is very loud, paces back and forth, fights sometimes, panics) i was always very nice even when he told me he was in love with me after i said hi after i walked by him. ever since he literally sees me and just lurches at me and hugs me. i usually just say no thanks i don’t hug because of covid and he doesn’t get it and gets sad but he leaves. today at school, everyone was crowded around and walking to their next class when he comes out of the crowd and just wraps his arms around me and screams hi and i ducked and got out of his hug and walked away and the special ed teacher told him not to hug people i just feel really awful about that because i might have embarrass him and other people saw and were like AYEE AYE AYE idk i wasn’t at all trying to make a joke out of him i just don’t appreciate that but i feel like i shouldn’t have just ducked and left | AITA for not letting a special ed kid hug me | NTA |
10won4j | My husband and I ended up having an argument today, and now I'm having second thoughts about if I was being unreasonable and truly the asshole in the situation. This afternoon while we were together my husband tells me that he got a new video game for us to play together. I respond cool what game is it? He proceeds to tell me very vague details about the game. Curious to know more I ask him again what game it was. He is willing to say more vague details about the game, not answering any question I ask him. As this proceeds I got more and more frustrated. For some context he has had a history of purposefully not answering questions. They seem to be random. He never is not answering to avoid a certain topic, but because he thinks he is being funny. It has been a problem in the past. And before we got married he agreed that if he is asked something more than two times he will answer it. He was doing well and everything was fine until recently. The past few months he has been doing this again and I've let a lot of it slide not wanting to cause a scene, but today it came to a head and I was really frustrated with him for again refusing to answer. I reminded him of the promise he made back then and that it is important for me to have a partner that I feel I can communicate with. I didn't yell at him but I was quite frustrated and a bit emotional saying this to him. He said that he considered that promise only for important things like me asking him how his day was, and not something so unimportant like this. He is upset now that i got frustrated with him, saying that he was just joking around and it is obvious that I hate his personality. And doesn't want to talk to me about it right now. I can see that he does genuinely feel hurt and I'm wondering if I really fucked up here.Reddit AITA? | AITA for getting frustrated with my husband when he wouldn't tell me the name of the video game he got us? | NTA |
10wk0ph | My wife (32F) and I (38M) will be closing on our first house this Friday. She has worked in animal welfare practically her whole adult life. She's worked at numerous places and had built enough skills, knowledge and ideas in her 15 years in her career, that she just landed her dream job about 6 months ago and she couldn't be happier. The only problem is that it doesn't pay well. Hence the dilemma because of our new house payment.It's animal welfare, it's a soul fulfilling job, not a lucrative one. If you're in it for the money, you're the wrong type of person to be in that field. We both worked at a shelter and that's how we met and eventually got married. She's worked very hard to get to the position she's in now but honestly, she can make just as much money working at Taco Bell, which does bug her.I pay for about... 90% of everything. I don't complain and I'm not trying to be a martyr or looking for praise. It's not a chauvinistic thing either, it's just what fell into our laps. She can cover a few bills but that's it. I make a good living for the both of us but more or less still live paycheck to paycheck. To offset her lack of income, I willingly put in about 60+/- hours a week, up at 4 or 5 am pending on the day. I'm tired but don't complain about having to do it, I love my job.My wife sees this and feels bad and she doesn't feel like she's pulling her weight. I disagree and think she is by doing more parenting than I do, as well as household things. Its a good 70/30 split of household responsibilities, which I feel is a fine offset for her lack of income. I still do things around the house and contribute like shop for groceries, cook or clean or watch the toddler on a weekend so she can go to work but if I'm tired, she tags in and lets me rest, no questions asked. Kinda like paying for "services" rendered for lack of a better term.She still doesn't feel good about the situation and wishes to be doing more. She wants to quit her job and get something higher paying, so I can stop doing over time and working all the time and paying for everything. I told her no. She's brought it up several times and I keep telling her no. The reason being is I know how hard she's worked to get this job and it means a lot to her. She's THRIVING and happy and that means more to me than a monetary value. She doesn't see it that way. It does make me feel bad cuz I don't know if me telling her NO, is controlling or not. It sounds like a dick move and I don't know if it's ok for me to put my foot down on this. Am I allowed to make that decision for her? I'd be pretty mad if someone told me I couldn't do something.AITA for not caring about money and refusing to not let her quit her job to help with bills and take the pressure off of me?TLDR: wife landed her dream job after 15+ years and it doesn't pay the bills and she wants to quit and help out with a better paying job and I refuse to let her do itEdit: she loves her job. She doesn't hate it. She sets her own schedule and it allows her to bring our toddler to work if she needs to. She's not unhappy with her choice, just wishes it pays more. | AITA for not letting my wife quit her job? | NAH |
10wdhsr | My boyfriend (M19) and I (F19) have been together for about a year and a half, and I absolutely love him, but some things I just can't overlook anymore is the way that he eats. It's honestly embarrassing and disgusting because he eats so fast and shovels in large amounts of food, chews with his mouth open, makes loud disgusting smacking sounds, and stuff sometimes will fly everywhere when he eats because of how sloppy he can be. An example of this was when we were once at a nicer restaurant with my mom, and he was sitting next to me and he got a lot of his food on the side of my face, and it was honestly extremely embarrassing for my mom and I.When we were eating together alone, I once asked him to chew with his mouth closed and he didn't understand what I meant. After some time passed later, I got annoyed and finally asked him to please eat nicer and stop chewing so loud, eating with his mouth open, and making gross sounds, and he told me that he can't help it because it's a cultural thing and got mad at me. Although I understand cultural differences when it comes to eating, it still grosses me out and embarrasses me when we're eating and his mouth is like a human vacuum sucking up everything in sight and getting things like sauces on me. However, I've had several meals with his parents and family members, and none of them eat the way that he does. | AITA for telling my boyfriend that the way he eats is disgusting and embarrasses me? | NTA |
10woh16 | My ex broke up with me after nearly 16 years. I worked my ass off for the last 10 years to provide for her and our daughter. She was never a contributing member of the relationship and it's probably best that things ended. But she took my daughter away from me, i gave up multiple opportunities because of her, i am physically and mentally exhausted because of her Now she's been nothing but a royal bitch since she left. I've tried to fix things and get along with her but she's been nothing but a bitch. She's been lying for years about still living at her parents house just so they could qualify for section 8. They've also purchased a home under another family members name just so they could buy a home and still apply for section 8 to help pay down the home. I'm feeling very fucking petty and want to report her and her family for section 8 fraud. I feel like she's ruined my life and now i want revenge. TLDR: AITA for wanting to report my ex and her family to section 8 for revenge after our break up? | AITA for thinking about reporting my ex and her family for lying for years to get section 8? | NTA |
10wafkn | I (34/f) recently had a miscarriage and underwent a D&C for it this past Friday. I was out of the surgical ward within a few hours, and my bf (35/m) who I live with was there with me at the hospital.He usually works a lot (including the weekends), but had said before the procedure that he was taking the weekend off specifically to take care of me and be there while I healed. He wasn’t around much on Saturday—he was running errands/etc. Then on Saturday night, he said that some friends of his were going to a Magic the Gathering tournament the following day and he really wanted to go. He had not brought it up or mentioned it to me before Saturday night. He asked me if it was okay to go, and I begrudgingly said fine. He went the following morning and was gone from like 10:30am until after 5pm, and he didn’t really text me at all to check in. Meanwhile, I spent the entire day alone, uncomfortable, and in tears, mostly dealing with a lot of heavy emotions coming to the surface. I’ve been upset about this for a couple of days now. He thinks I’m being unfair and unreasonable, because I gave him permission to go. While I did give him permission, I did it because: 1. I didn’t realize it meant he’d be gone all day and 2. I felt like just by asking me, he put me in a no-win situation. Either I could say yes or I could say no, but I instantly felt that by saying no, I’d feel like a burden and know that he wished he could be doing something else more fun than being with me. Either way, I feel like it was lousy of him to even ask in the first place, especially given the fact that he made a big to-do about being there. He hasn’t been with me to really any doctor’s appointments in the lead-up to this, but said he would “make it all up” to me by really being by my side during the recovery process. Also, he plays MTG with these dudes like once a week at least, so it’s not like he never gets opportunities to hang with them. Lastly, this pregnancy was unplanned and I’ve been keeping it private from my friends and family, because I haven’t processed my feelings fully and maybe it's a mistake, but I don’t feel ready to share yet. My bf knows this, so by ditching me and being gone all day after he said he’d be there, I was left totally alone navigating the physical (but really, the emotional) after-effects of everything. I didn’t have any backup plans or fun activities planned, or a person to call and keep me company/talk to about it in lieu of him. I feel like my BF should have understood and prioritized being there for me over playing a card game with some buddies for an entire day—a day which he only had free in the first place because he took it off to care for me. But AITA because I technically gave him permission here? | AITA: Had a miscarriage, BF left me alone after | NTA |
10woo9i | My husband (30M) and I (28F) have 11 total nieces and nephews. My husband has two brothers who each have two children. Then I have two older sisters who have 5 kids and 2 kids. I am currently pregnant and starting to rethink family traditions and take finances a lot more seriously. Over the last few years, as the family has kept growing at a rapid pace, I’ve been finding it harder to justify spending so much money on the kids. We have set ourselves a $20 per child budget, but we often go over because it’s actually really hard to find decent quality gifts for $20 or less. We often end up spending $25+. Even if we stuck to the budget, this would mean:Birthdays: 11x $20 = $220 minimumChristmas: 11x $20 = $220 minimumPresents for just kids alone (adult birthdays and Christmas excluded) we are spending anywhere from $440 and up per year. This will only increase as I have more siblings who haven’t begun their families yet. I’m also starting to feel really frustrated by the responses we get from a couple of the older kids who I think expect more. We’ve had complaints about the gifts being boring (it was a $20 lego set). This gets on my nerves and makes me want to not bother buying them anything at all. Especially on my husbands side (his brothers and their partners don’t have any other kids/nieces/nephews) so they only have to buy for 2 extra kids each year. We’ve already had discussions with the adults about cutting back. On my side this has been understood and accepted. But on my husband’s side, we (and especially me, being the more financially careful one when it comes to gifting) really are coming across as absolute grinches. His brothers have told us to not be tight asses and “stop focusing on the money, it’s about the thought” and “it’s not that much money”. I would absolutely love to buy everyone extravagant gifts if I could afford it, but we simply have to be more careful. I find it so unfair that we are judged when they only have 2 children to buy for compared to our 11 (and growing). I adore my nieces and nephews. I want to be fair about it and still buy presents as new nieces and nephews come along, but I’m thinking about stopping once each child reaches a certain age (maybe 10). How do I do that? How I do I tell my husband’s family? And am I / will I be the asshole if I do? | WIBTA if my husband and I stop buying our nieces and nephews birthday and Christmas gifts? | NTA |
10wl5a3 | My husband is away Mon, Tue, Wed and I’m home alone with a 20 month old and a 6yo dog. On Thu and Fri I remain the caretaker though my husband is involved in the eves.Our son tends to be clingy with me in most situations, but especially when stressed/sick. I think this is to be expected right now, my husband sees it as something to be corrected. We all got sick this weekend. My husband and I were sick on Sat and Sun, and while on Sat we shared parenting, he zonked out on Sun and I had our son alone. Mon our son wakes up with a high fever and my husband leaves for work. I spend all day, while still completely sick myself, tending to our crying kid.Today, my husband returns to help at 4pm (kid goes to sleep at 7). Husband feeling better. So is our son. I am running a fever, coughing and am destroyed from lack of rest. Instead of helping with our son, husband takes the dog on a 45 min walk. I become frustrated bc, while true - the dog could use the exercise even though we have a yard - it’s me who needs the help! Upon return, I ask husband to take our son. As I go upstairs to nap I hear him crying but I let it be. 30min later, I hear him crying “potty, mama!” (Our son is interested in using the potty and has had some successes, though he panics when it’s happening and he’s not yet done it with his dad). So I go downstairs and check in - in my mind, our son is stressed, and it may make sense for me to be there since I’m his safe person in this new thing. My husband acts annoyed that I’m there and his attitude sticks until son goes to bed. Instead of engaging with our son he starts to check his phone and I feel bad for our kid so I overcompensate on engagement. After, I approach my husband and say that I appreciate it’s important for them to form a bond and that I don’t want to be in the way of it. I explain I came downstairs because our son gets stressed on the potty and i prioritized son’s comfort today. My husband responds that I’m too aggressive and take over too much when he’s with our son, even comparing me to my mother who has boundary issues. He said my meddling impedes their ability to create a groove and he needs me to back off and give them alone time. I won’t lie, the mother jab hurt, and I snapped at him. I said that the reason I intervene is because 80% of the time he’s taking care of our son he’s on his phone, and I’m stuck around to engage our kid so he isn’t ignored. I also said I felt completely undervalued for taking care of our son while we were both sick. I then left the room. I feel hurt & judged for my parenting by a person who doesn’t nearly put in as much work. I get that my husband has a job that takes him away and that’s not his fault, but I can’t help but resent him for being so inconsiderate today. AITA for invading their alone time today? | AITA and taking away my husband’s ability to bond with his son? | YTA |
10wh6yq | I (34M) am the father to my son (11M) and also have a wife (32F). A few weeks ago I got a massive opportunity from a big film company in the US but I rejected it for a number of reasons. My family disagrees with me.I received an offer to travel to the US and work with this company completely free of cost due to them seeing some of my previous works in acting and film.Just a few short years ago my sister who I no longer talk to as we got into a heated argument took a similar job at the same location where i would be situated. Her being there makes me extremely reluctant to do work there as I would be working alongside her.My sister is an aggravating woman who is incredibly unbearable to be around and i would not be capable of staying around her for such a long period of time.Another factor which makes me reluctant to go is that I have never left my home country and I certainly have never intended to. I have everything I need here and all my extended family is here as well and I would be devastated to leave them.Here's the problem, this job pays very well and me along with my family would finally make our way up in society after being in poverty for so long.Our family has been living in a run down house with just enough money to survive each week. My wife is a housewife and I work at a construction site only a few miles from our house. This job does not pay well.Moving over to the US would fix all these problems because of the money the company is offering but I am still reluctant to move.After only two weeks of thinking I decided to turn the job down even though of all the benefits. My wife is furious at me and I am currently staying with my parents while she is annoyed at me.My wife being this angry is making me doubt my choices but I still feel strongly that i made the right choice but I am not too sure. Am I the asshole? | AITA for turning down a job that could've saved my family? | YTA |
10wqph8 | EDIT: Added paragraphs lolNew account because I don't want to use my own. So I (24f) work as a secretary for a university, basically what we do is help people enroll, transfer or quit, we are in charge of printing their degrees and we also help them with tax support and such: as you can see, it's not a very physically demanding job. The only part that is physically demanding is having to store and retrieve documents, because they're on the second floor and you need to climb stairs.I'll get to the point now: I have a co-worker that I will call Stella, we used to get along well until she got pregnant.First she asked me and my other coworker, Barbara, if it was okay if we stored her documents too so that she wouldn't have to climb the stairs, and we agreed because it was no problem. However since she got pregnant we noticed that she has been slacking off, she refers the students that she's supposed to help to us with the excuse of getting technical errors (regardless of the computer that she's using, hence why I believe that it is an excuse) and it has caused quite a few problems because the waiting times have increased and, obviously, students don't like to see other people cut in front of them. Also, both me and Barbara have seen her use the computer for personal reasons while she supposedly had technical issues (browsing social media, using Amazon and so on). I wanted to report her to someone who could at least have a professional talk with her, but when I told my co-worker she opposed to it and said that she doesn't need that stress because she's pregnant and we should just wait because she said that she will take maternity leave as soon as she enters the sixth month and someone will come to take her place. So who is right? WIBTA if I reported her anyway? | WIBTA if I reported my pregnant co-worker? | NTA |
10wb61d | So this is my first time hosting a birthday party for one of my children since my wife has passed away. I'll admit I have in the past let my wife do most of the planning for these types of events as well handle as playdates, so I'm not the most experienced dealing with kid drama. All the kids here are 8-9 years old.Anyway at school pickup the other day I was talking with the mother of one of my son's friends (Ellie). She had asked if my neighbors child (Adam) was invited to the party. I'm like "oh, shit" I probably should since he lives right next door. This is a whole other story, but I sort of fudged up the invites. Thankfully my son's friends parents helped me out. So I was thinking that Ellie's mom was reminding me, but then she told me that Ellie and Adam don't get along and she is not comfortable with her daughter being around Adam. I tried to ask what happened. She only said that she didn't want to get into it and just asked to let her know when I find out if Adam is coming.So, basically it sound like she's not going to let Ellie come to the party if Adam comes to the party. While my son and Adam do play together sometimes afterschool, Ellie is one of my son's closest friends. They have a little trio friend group along with another kid and those three are always together. I know without a doubt that my son would want Ellie to come to his party rather than Adam.That's said I feel like its created a sort of awkward situation with my neighbor. Adam and his family live right next door so obviously he's going to hear a party going on. If he goes to the second floor of his house he could easily look down into the back yard and see the party going on with some of his other classmates. So it seems pretty obvious he's going to feel left out and make things in the neighborhood tense. I really don't have the time or money to find somewhere else to have the party either and I'm kind of at a loss on what to do. Although I am leaning towards not inviting Adam because I just know my son will be so disappointed if Ellie isn't there. | AITA for not inviting neighbor's son to my son's birthday party | NTA |
10wqdoi | I [19F] lashed out on male friend [21M] while drunk…Some background. I am a 19 year old. I have not been drinking long really since I’ve been to college but I have been noticing a trend… I notice the i get extremely angry when I drink. Especially towards men… This is even true when I’m black out drunk, even when I have no memory… So yesterday me and some friends were drinking and I don’t remember much because I blacked out. We wake up the next morning and I noticed one of my guy friends had left. I asked my friends what happened and they said that I cussed him out and went on a screaming rant about how much I hate men and how I wish they were gone. They said it was so bad that my friend decided to leave, and he still has not spoke to me..I do not blame him at all, and it is extremely scary that I have such hateful views even when I’m blackout. But there isn’t much I can do…Am I the asshole in this situation? My friends all know I do have a disdain for men so I don’t think it’s so terrible that it came out when I’m drunk.. I see being concerned but I feel like it’s wrong to act like I’m a bad person… | AITA for being rude to my friend while I was drunk? | YTA |
10woi0b | My (34) boyfriend (30) of 5 years is a very passionate eater. He engulfs his food, chomping, lip smacking, inhaling air mid-bite and making pleasurable moaning sounds as he demolishes his dinner plate like a beast. (on the plus side he is also a fantastic lover :)Overall we're quite bonded, share core values and have a solid relationship. Now, that being said, we're deadlocked and might burn it all down over an absurdly mundane thing.Since quitting the Juul, he uses nicotine gum. The issue is not the gum, but that he likes to chew 2 at one time.His food normal eating noises are super intense, but I let it go because, well.. I understand he's just literally existing. The "double gumming" however, is giving truly rancid vibes.The 2 gums create this gnarling, fiendish effect and even a white foam film around his mouth from the coating. It's fully revolting to me and makes my skin crawl. I've asked him to stop chewing 2 pieces at once when he's close to me, but he still does it.What follows is a miserable, cartoonishly escalated cycle of events. When I hear the double-gum, I'm immediately grossed out, pissed off, and feel totally disrespected because he knows how much it bothers me. Every ounce of attraction I feel toward him evaporates into the ether in that moment. He reacts with eye roll, groan, mutter of obscenities, takes the gum out.For background: His anger style is more like a brief burst of toxic shit mouth + bull-in-a-china shop antics, which he can shrug off and be back to normal moments later.My style is more like a slow, unrelenting mustard gas of melancholy and judgment that seeps into every pore of his being.I need a cool-down period of a few hours for the ick to subside before I would be open to sex or intimacy. He always pushes this. Then this pressure behavior turns me off even more. Then he feels rejected, unloved, lashes out. I shut down, withdraw, stew. The other day we really got into it, and I asked him to leave. We haven't spoken in 3 days. I feel like I may be TA because I'm taking a really hard line on something so small. Do not chew 2 gums around me, or do not be around me. At this point, I worry the gum has become symbolic of something bigger in our relationship. He's framing this as though I'm relentlessly oppressing an aspect of his personal autonomy. I feel like downshifting to one gum at a time would be a very small act of courtesy on his part that would make a huge difference for me. A lot of this seems like your garden variety gaslighting tantrum of a man not getting laid. Yet I'm starting wonder if I have a clinical issue why this sound bothers me so much. Could it be even be psychosomatic? I miss him, but on the other hand since not seeing him for a few days I do feel oddly calm without the the soundtrack of chewing. | AITA kicking my bf out of my house over obnoxious chewing | NTA |
10wi2hp | My sister and I are a few year apart in age and we Tend butt heads a lot none the less were pretty close give or take. I graduated high school when I was 15 (yes I skipped 3 grade levels) and I got admitted to my dream university and again I’m graduating early (in august) with my B.S in neurobiology. When I graduated high school my parents had planned a big graduation party for me that was supposed to be at a venue be catered and have a DJ the whole 9 usages basically. 4 months before said party my sister gets engaged and my parents made me give her my venue and all of the things we had planned for me. I’m a little salty about it but none the less I was happy for her and besides my parents paid for everything and they had every right to give it to whoever they wanted. The following year my parents planned a sweet 16 for me which was once again called off because my sister’s wedding was close to my birthday. Again I let it go. Now I have planned a party for myself fully paid for by me with the exception of the DJ as my dad offered to pay for that I didn’t ask he offered I planned it for spring break weekend and I have lots of people coming into town for this party. I’ve spend around 5k but it’s something I’ve really wanted and I’ve accomplished something I’m beyond proud of . My sister is also graduating college this year so she calls and asks if I can share my party with her. I said no I worked so hard to be were I’m at right now picked up extra shifts to be Abel to afford it and worked my ass off to prove myself. I know it seems selfish but I really just want to highlight my accomplishments. She gets upset over my answer and calls my parents to complain which in turn call me and go the hell off about how inconsiderate and selfish I am. AITAH? Btw sorry for any grammar or spelling errors I’m really upset right now. | AITAH for not wanting to share my graduation party with my sister | NTA |
10w7655 | A week ago my mom (64) and I (24 F) got into a fight about something small but then the built up years of her criticisms came into my mind and I yelled at her. Everyday she criticizes everyone in the house for something. (Not making enough money, turning the heat too high, staying out late, etc) I yelled that how come I can never do anything right, how she says I mess everything up all the time and if she’s just gonna keep yelling and complaining I don’t want to hear it. Then she packed her bags and ran away. Texted my family that because we yelled we don’t love her anymore. How she’s homeless now and it’s basically our fault. On one hand I think she’s over reacting but on the other I feel guilty because I shouldn’t have raised my voice. Some of her words have stuck like when we said your mom never left you why are you running away. And she replied well I was a good daughter that why my mom never left you don’t respect me that’s why I left. | AITA for making my mom run away? | NTA |
10wq8uv | My roommate wastes a ton of food. When he goes food shopping, he often buys vegetables and fruits in bulk but 90% of the time, there would be about 1/4th left in the bag that he'd toss away because he replaces them with new bulk items. He would often throw away perfectly good food such as:* Onions* Ripened Bananas* Day Old Rice* Nuts* Dates* Half Cut Avocados* TomatoesI've asked him if I could have these ingredients instead of him tossing it away. He responds saying it's his food and he has every right to toss them. I tried to reason with him but he seems to stick to a legal perspective, not realizing that there are poor people around the world who would kill to have his leftovers.I figured that if he threw out his food, it's fair game. So whenever he throws food out, I take them out of the trash, clean them, and use them. He caught me and said I was an absolute jerk for not letting his thrown away food alone. As a result, he began taking his own trash out himself.Reddit, is he an unempathetic, unreasonable asshole or am I really the one not realizing how much of an asshole I am? | AITA for using food that my roommate throws away? | NTA |
10wpfbn | I 28m and my fiancee 28f just celebrated 10 years together. We have 2 beautiful and smart children a house together life is absolutely wonderful. But despite having that long of a relationship I still have difficulty telling her things that bother me. Sometimes I just don't want to cause a fight or I feel like I can just get over it so I don't say things much. We were deep in a talk about other things that have been bothering me and they were rough conversations to have. I told her that I've thought about this recently and I had a hard time finding the words so I was just gonna come out and say it then give my reasoning. So I told her, "I think you should lose some weight" I'm 5'10 I work out and have a physical job. She's 5'4 and weighs more than I do. It's not a sexual attraction problem, quite the opposite. She regularly turns down my advances at spicy time and sometimes dies other things to help me relieve myself. There's just a lot of health issues in my family. I grew up with my grandma who has diabetes and I saw the hell that can bring onto someone. My dad had it before he died at a young age due to not taking care of his diabetes and drug abuse, the latter not being a problem for my fiancee. My grandpa has many health issues that are self inflicted due to him not taking care of himself either. I really emphasized that I was concerned about potential health issues if she didn't take care of herself, I repeated about a dozen or so times that it's about her health and nothing more. I told her that I think it's a better idea to tackle this now while she's outside of 30 than to wait 7 years and find out she pre diabetic at 35. I did t give her an ultimatum I didn't use the word fat or obese or anything. I really emphasized it was about her potential health issues in the future and nothing more. She told me that her family doesn't have those health issues, maybe they aren't hereditary for her but the can develop over time.I slept in our guest room for 5 days after this before she said she was fine with me sleeping in our bed together again. She tells me I fucked up bad and damaged her by saying that. She wants me to apologize for saying it. But I'm not sorry and I told her that.We've been together for 10 years and I should be able to tell these types of things to my fiancee and mother of my children.She's been distant and cold since, she barely talks to me, barely does anything around the house except the bare minimum with our kids. I know she's mad and she's hurt, believe it or not I do understand that. And I don't expect things to just go back to normal after a week of this. This is going to take time to get better but to me it feels like I blew up 10 years by telling her the truth. I don't feel sorry for being honest. I don't feel guilty for her getting upset. I'm honestly kind of mad at the way she's acting but I don't know. Am I the asshole? | AITA for telling my fiancee I think she should lose weight? | YTA |
10waz2a | Me (M23) and my sister (F16) live with our parents. For a few months now, there has been some work done on the street and they have removed the street lights so in the morning and evening it is really dark.My sister takes the bus in the morning to go to school but she is afraid to go to the bus stop when it is dark (6-7 min walk). My dad used to drop her off when she started at 8am and pick her up when she finished at 6pm lately for this, twice a week on Wednesdays and Fridays.However my dad's brother (our uncle) died a month ago so my dad is grieving and is struggling with his sleep so a few times told my sister he was too tired and to ask me if I could do it. Having finished my exams a month ago after a very difficult semester, I'm on "vacation" and I take advantage of it to go out often with my friends and play some video games. Since my sister asked me several times to drop her off (she asks my father then asks me if he can't), I accepted each time including after nightouts with friends (so I had little sleep time and I struggle to have nap). It bothered me a little bit but hey it's family. I also woke up early a few times for family meeting with my dad and his siblings (our uncles/aunt) about our Kate's uncle funeral Last week she asked me again because my dad couldn't, I didn't feel like it, I tried to reassure her so she wouldn't be afraid to walk to the bus stop, (some houses have lanterns on the road), she got mad and said she was really scared and begged me to help her, I ended up refusing because I was really tired at the time and I wanted to sleep in.She ended up taking the bus that day and she was mad at me, I felt a little guilty. I discussed it with my dad and he understands my POV and doesn't blame me.The same day my older brother (M25) came by the house, my sister was there and we started to discuss the situation, at first my brother was on my side then my sister when explaining her point of view broke down in tears saying that she was really scared this morning and didn't feel safe in those streets without lights. Later my brother told me that even if it was annoying for me, I should make the effort for her. A friend also told me the same. Last Friday, Dad dropped her off. Tomorrow he can't, so my sister asked me. I had a party yesterday and I am exhausted.. I'm really thinking about declining. AITA?Edit :Thanks for the feedback!I understand and accept the critics. After reading the comments, I realize that my attitude might not have been the best so I will act on it.I apologized to my sis and told her that I will drive her to school as long as she is uncomfortable. She was happy and thanked me | AITA for not wanting to drop my sister off at school in the morning? | YTA |
10wob0m | A couple of weeks ago my friend invited me to join her and her family at a timeshare rental that she booked pretty close to both our homes. She said that she was selling that timeshare and trying to use up the points on her account and said that it would be great if we could come along. We spent a lot of time talking about the trip over the next few weeks and I agreed to bring a dessert for her mom’s birthday and discussed plans. We ended up going for 2 days and hung out with her family at the timeshare and went wine tasting. We brought a lot of the food for the meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert) including backyard eggs at their request. We paid our way for all of the activities except one place where my fiend and I agreed that she would put my charge in her card and I would pay her through Venmo because it was mutually beneficial. The place we stayed at was a three bedroom unit that had been booked for 4 nights. She had made it sound like our invitiation was purely social and that she was just exited to share her last stay with people before she sold the timeshare. We stayed for 2 nights in the third bedroom which was far less impressive than the other two, and had two twin beds and a bathroom that doubled as the “public” bathroom in the unit. During the stay another friend was also offered the option of sleeping in our room but chose not to. Today I called to confirm that she had received the money I had sent to repay her for the single charge. She then brought up “settling up” on the rest of the weekend. I was really apprised by this because there had been no previous mention of any other costs. She suggested that we should pay 1/3 of her annual timeshare maintenance fees which she said would total 550 for us. She acknowledged that she had not brought up anything about this previously and that we could table the discussion for now. I talked to my partner and we are pretty upset about the situation. We make significantly less money than my friend, and never would have agreed to stay for the weekend if we had known she intended to charge us for the room, let alone over 270 a night. We also feel like even if we were to pay, we should equitably pay less than 1/3 since we had by far the least nice room and only stayed 2 of 4 days. It also seemed like a situation where she had already booked the unit before inviting us, so she had committed to using her points before we ever agreed to go, and therefore our addition didn’t “cost” her more than she had already intended to spend. I’m really upset that my friend failed to mention her expectation that we pay for her unit and would have never joined her had I known. Would I be the asshole if I explain some of my feelings of frustration and being blindsided with a huge bill after the trip and tell her I won’t be paying? | WIBTAH if I didn’t pay my friend back for a weekend trip. | NTA |
10wff8d | I got a new phone with a new number a few years ago. For the first few months I had it, I would receive multiple texts a day from random numbers. I would just block the numbers and delete the texts because it seemed like a lot of work to respond to them all and tell them they had the wrong number. The texts eventually died down to one or two every few months or so.Fast forward to today, I get another random text saying RIP. This is where I put things together and realized the last owner of my phone number passed away. I said “Sorry about ur friend dude but this is my number now and I’d appreciate if u didn’t text me” and [posted a few screenshots on Reddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/10wc4gl/the_last_person_to_have_my_phone_number_died_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) Immediately comments start flying in calling me an inconsiderate twat for not respecting the dead, even though all I did was ask them to stop texting me. I even said sorry about their friend.So Reddit, am I in the wrong here? | AITA for responding to text messages sent to the deceased previous owner of my phone number? | NTA |
10wg5zn | Our daughter (my step daughter) has talked with her school counselor about joining group therapy during school to help with her anxiety. The counselor emailed me notifying me of her interest in the group as it required permission from a parent to participate. I was a little confused as to why my husband wasn’t included in the email. I mentioned the email to my husband, and instantly he was irritated because he feels that she’s just “trying to be a part of something”, and feels that her bio mom may have put her up to it. This evening my husband asked our daughter about the group and why she wanted to join. She mentioned having anxiety. He asked her how she knows she has anxiety. She struggled to explain, but mentioned scenarios in which her anxiety would be triggered. She also stated how when he took her for her annual physical she mentioned her anxiety to her Doctor and stated that at that time her dad denied she had anxiety and basically brushed it off as her being dramatic. I reminded my husband that he as well as his mother have anxiety and that it’s not inconceivable to think that she too (our daughter) could have it. My husband started explaining how there are certain situations that sometimes make him feel anxious, how he self regulates and how he doesn’t need someone or a group to help him.At that time I mentioned how my husband sees a therapist who has given him strategies to cope and better self regulate. My husband became agitated, denied seeing a therapist and got up and walked away. After a few minutes I went to my husband and apologized as I could see that he was upset by my last statement. He was still upset and basically said that he wasn’t ready to have that conversation with his daughter and that he now has to have an uncomfortable conversation with the children that he’s not prepared to have. I completely understand and agree that it was not my place to speak on his therapy, but I also don’t understand why he wasn’t open with his daughter in that moment as it seemed like an opportune time to to do so.I felt like he was being a hypocrite by discouraging her from participating in this group and invalidating what she’s going through while he himself sees a therapist. | AITA for mentioning my husbands therapy to our daughter when she was talking with us about her personal anxiety? | NTA |
10wd8r2 | So I (F53) love to travel and I take many trips with two close friends (F 57 and F 59). Recently on a beach trip, I caught one of them taking what was possibly the most unflattering picture of me I have ever seen. She was sheepish and surprised when I badgered her into finally showing me the picture. It was such a horrible picture that I almost cried.As it turns out, my other friend does it too. I’ve even caught them laughing at bad pictures of me behind my back. To the best of my knowledge, they are not posting these pictures on social media, or showing them to other people. However, that doesn’t make it any less painful.Further they say, “they’re cute memories of fun trips,” however if that were the case, then why don’t they share the pictures with me? Why don’t they also take bad pictures of each other? Why don’t they also take good pictures of me when I’m dolled up for a night on the town?Now because of the pandemic, I’m at the heaviest I have ever been and can barely stand to see pictures of me when I’m looking straight at the camera, smiling and posing. I’m not a vain person, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why two friends who know I’m feeling extremely self-conscious about my looks would take the most unflattering pictures of me to ever exist. It feels very mean-spirited.I’m wondering if I’m being too sensitive and AITA for confronting them about it. I wanted to discuss it with them face-to-face, like adults, but when I tried that with one of the friends, she became very angry, got up and bolted out of the restaurant. | AITA for confronting my friends for taking VERY unflattering pictures of me without my knowledge? | NTA |
10whg3l | I (22f) have multiple mental health issues, and developing health issues. My mental health issues prevent me from living on my own or getting a job, meaning I get a disability check every month. (I don't feel comfortable saying what my issues are). The check I get is used for bills, and half the time I only get $100 out of it. The other half i get nothing, but I dont mind because it helps my mom. Her boyfriend contributes no money at all. Now my mom (59) has a physical disability along with mental health issues, meaning she gets a disability check as well. When our checks are combined and the bills are paid we end up having barely anything left. We aren't exactly in debt but we're pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel constantly. She has asked her boyfriend to get a job almost every day for the past 2 years. He constantly says he is looking or he's trying but he's not. He sits in bed or plays his guitar in our basement, and goes to hang out with his friends. I see him as nothing more than a freeloader. There's a lot more previous conflict that is too long to mention, but her boyfriend has a lot of problems. Recently there was a loss in my family, and i had a really really bad break down which doesn't happen often. So when my mom witnessed the breakdown she said i need to write how i feel down on a paper to get it out and I'll feel better. So i did. I wrote a very long note about how and why i hated her boyfriend. I admit i wrote a lot of bad stuff in there but i wasn't ever gonna give him the note! It was just to get it off my chest, because I am not in therapy since the place i orginally had therapy in changed. So we are trying to find a therapy place close by, because we don't have a car. Anyways I hid the note in MY STUFF Anyways, i wrote a really really long and detailed and mean note on why i hate him. I have no problem admitting there was really fucked up stuff in that note, but i literally NEVER intended to give it to him. I put it in my dresser. MY DRESSER. So the other day when me and my mom got back from shopping (my aunt drove us), her boyfriend looked extremely upset. When i was out of the room he approached my mom and told her that he didn't understand why i hate him and why i feel that way. MEANING he went through my shit and found the note because i did NOT leave it OUT. It was literally in my dresser so the only way he would have gotten it was to go through my shit. Anyways he's been super upset with me the past few days and my mom has asked me to apologize multiple times but i refuse. The only reason why i refuse is because i never intended to give him the note. He went through my shit and found it. So i think he deserves to read all that since he wants to go through MY BELONGINGS. Anyways my grandma is on my side, my mom is in the middle, and my cousins are both in the middle. I feel like he deserved to read it if he was just gonna go through my personally owned items when we weren't home. | AITA for upsetting my mom's boyfriend? | NTA |
10wk6bd | I got married a year and a half ago. My family tends to be stuffy and traditional about gender and children's roles. My husband's family is very family and kid oriented. He has 16 neices and nephews, and I love all of the kids!We decided to make our wedding reception kid and pup friendly. It was outdoors at a lake so easy to do. (Our ceremony was fairly laid back, performed by my best friend who's an openly gay pagan priest, with his husband as our official witness to sign our marriage certificate.) Anyway, we set up giant jenga, a goofy photo booth, ring toss, corn hole boards, and a board game table for the kids. We also had a bubble tea and ice cream station thanks to some extension cords from the lodge lol. For the pups, we had treat puzzles, toys, pup dance off, a little obstacle course and plenty of food and water. We did food buffet style to give everyone options on what to eat.I thought everything went great and everyone had a blast. Most of my family stayed part of the reception to eat but left after, saying it was a long drive home, which it is. Now, I'm hearing from some of my cousins that I actually talk to that people left because my reception was a huge disappointment and they were embarrassed by it because that's not how I was raised. That I was cheap and tacky to not have catered meals and it was in poor taste to not serve alcohol and allow kids and pups there. And they all regretted attending and feel my reception was disrespectful to what it should have been.AITA? | AITA wedding reception | NTA |
10wqn48 | I am M(15) and my friend, Forrester is M(15). Recently, we were having a small talk about video games and life, when he suddenly mentioned about his Religion. Being curious, I was keen to know more about it, and I asked him what it was about. He then proceeded to tell me about it, and halfway through the conversation, he mentioned to me that he knows the way to heaven…and that I will not be able to go to heaven, unless I joined his religion. Hearing this, I was quite frustrated and asked him what he meant by that. He then proceeds to tell me how his religion, “The Way” was FAR MORE superior than any other religion, he then says how all religions are true to a certain degree whereas his religion is the whole truth. I was pretty pissed because who was he to determine what happens to me after death. And the way he proclaimed how “The Way” was apparently more superior was about to make me explode. I told him not to bother how my religion works and to mind his own business.He suddenly got all defensive and said how I will never go to heaven, and that I will forever be stuck in hell. This is ridiculous and probably some kind of a prank. AITA for being mad at him?Edit: The religion he claims to be in is “The Way”And I didn’t draw him into speaking about religions, he brought it up at his own will | AITA My friend said my religion was inferior to his | NTA |
10wnmn3 | I (19 M) am taking a course where we work in groups both in lecture and our lab. The professor is very strict about cheating, especially when we’re working with other people (ie use your own words). I make sure to be extra careful about that since I almost got in trouble last semester for being in a groupme where people shared the quiz answers (the TA was in the chat and reported the whole chat for cheating). I’m in a group of 3, me and my friend do the work while our other group mate just sits there. He never takes notes and always asks what we’re supposed to be doing. At first I tried to help because it genuinely sounded like he needed help, though after last week I think he just wants to use us for the notes. Every Wednesday we have a quiz due at 11:55pm, and around 9pm he asked me for the answers. I said no but I could help him understand the material outside of class. He just said “okay”. Then in lab the following day, he would wait for me and my friend to fill out data. Never once did he ask for help to understand the material.I was fed up and finally emailed my professor that our one group mate wasn’t pulling his weight. I explained that he never did the work and just waited for us to compare answers so he could copy it down in his own words. I only left out the part about him wanting the quiz answers. Last Monday my professor got back to me to let me know he will be speaking with the group mate. I ended up telling my friend who then called me an asshole as our group mate could get in trouble. They said that even though the slacking wasn’t good, he doesn’t deserve to get punished. Now I’m wondering if I was just being petty or if I did the right thing. | AITA For reporting a groupmate | NTA |
10wdbkr | I am an artist who makes their living off of the crafts I make. I recently made a piece that took me forever to figure out and someone commented asking how I did it. I explained to them that I went through a lot of trial and error but didn’t feel comfortable sharing the process at this time because it’s how I make ends meet right now. Cue the storm. Apparently what I said was rude and uncalled for. They proceeded to tell me they suffer from depression and anxiety, and no one will buy their art. They explained that they lost their job and art is how they make a living too. It continues with more guilt tripping and telling me that people like Bob Ross would never have kept his skills hidden. They made the assumption that I was accusing them of wanting to steal and that I should have assessed the situation better. They end it by telling me I lost a customer and a follower because of this. All I said was that “I don’t feel comfortable sharing my process at this time. It’s how I make ends meet”. I don’t feel like I am required to explain myself or my work. No one is entitled to that info, I don’t think. Years ago, I was told no by many artists too. All for the same reasons. They too had people steal ideas and start marketing them. Over the years, I just figured things out on my own. Am I the asshole for thinking this way? | AITA for not wanting to explain my artistic process? | NTA |
10wg58d | Very straight forward. The power in our old house was in my name. When i moved out back in November, i informed him that I was removing my name from the utilities so i wouldn't be held responsible for them in the future. This was just to protect myself. It was like pulling teeth to get him to change it out because i wanted it to be a seamless transition since we share a child and i didn't want her going without power. We finally got something sorted out and he told me to let him know when i submitted my disconnect. I submitted the disconnect request on a Friday for the following Monday back in January. I thought I texted him, that was my bad i didn't text him. But i did call him for something unrelated, and he asked about it. So i told him then. I said i submitted it today for Monday so you have until then to request service and it will be a seamless transition. Whelp....he forgot. He called me today in a whole panic spazzing and cussing around our kid asking why the power was off and why didn't I tell him and so on so so forth. I informed him that i did tell him and he was aware. Unfortunately i just didn't have text proof of the incident (already aware that this is a bought lesson on that so please leave that be). So AITA for not following up with him about the power swap after that weekend? | AITA for not reminding my ex-husband that I took the power out of my name? | NTA |
10worn3 | I’ve been with my wife for a few years. She’s a very generous and kind person. I consider myself lucky to be with her.She was a social worker for five years, but I encouraged her to quit and transition either to a different social worker job or to a whole new career path because her administrators were very toxic. She decided to take a different career path and entered a boot camp to jump start the transition. I was and am ultimately happy to help fund the boot camp and bridge the loss of income during the switch. This required that I work overtime very often and often late into the night.While doing her boot camp, I could tell she was getting lonely due to lack of time spent with peers. She’s always been passionate about our public library, so I encouraged her to spend time volunteering when she asked about it so she could spend time with good friends. She also has always been passionate about giving back to the community and another volunteer role came up and I really couldn’t help but agree to have her accept the role as well. She has a very niche interest and the role was perfect for her.Since then, I can’t help but feel like she isn’t trying as hard at her boot camp. It is a significant investment of our savings and I’m fine with that, but it’s more that she knows that I need her to get a job ASAP so I can lighten my work load. Since the beginning, we agreed that the goal was for her to get a job as soon as possible. Before taking on both roles, we agreed she would still prioritize the bootcamp and get a job ASAP.But the thing is, I always run into her spending time on those other roles at home. She has always been hard working. I would never doubt that. But she seems to be spending too much time on her volunteer roles and not enough on her bootcamp.The bootcamp was designed to be finished in ten months with 20-25 hours of work a week. We agreed before the start of bootcamp that she would consider the bootcamp her full time job. We’re going on month twelve and she needs a few more months to finish, let alone getting a new job.I’ve tried to bring this topic up multiple times, but she always gets upset at me. She tells me I don’t understand the process and I admit that I don’t. When I refer to the recommended amount of time needed to finish the bootcamp according to the company that designed it, she says they’re lying. I can’t help but feel used here. But tell it to me straight. I will take your opinion to heart and take appropriate steps forward. AITA? | AITA for not supporting my wife the way she wants to be during her career transition? | NTA |
10wl1vt | I struggle to have my food delivered to my door by Uber eats and doordash. I live in a giant building with 5 entrances. No matter how specific I make the instructions, they usually leave my food at a random door.Normally, not a problem. Slight annoyances happen when I pay someone to do something I'm too lazy to do. However, I'm a single mom to a newborn. Usually when I order food, he's sleeping. In order to go find my food at a random door, I have to wake him up. Or leave him alone? Which seems pretty negligent. Two times this week, I haven't been able to get my food. I've been on the phone begging them to bring it to the door, but they just say they don't know how. It even says in the delivery instructions that I cannot get my food if it's not at my door. EDIT: like obviously, the solution is to get my own food and never order doordash again. But then I'd have to instacart and I don't even want to think about trying to find bags of groceries at a random entrance. A single meal is a price point that I can afford to go missing, grocery shopping is not. In that way, I am giving slack because I know it might not reach me. The bigger context is that I was in a psych program with my baby until a few days ago and I don't have any food at home. Or access to a car or public transport. Or people to bring me stuff. Like yeah, all of our lives suck. Delivery drivers don't make enough. Most people don't have the same stakes that I do when they get food delivered. I didn't include that in my initial post, because I don't think it should make a difference if I'm a brat who won't eat the beans in her cabinet, or someone who is in my situation. AITA for asking too much of delivery drivers? There are no COVID laws in my area about delivering in apartment buildings. | AITA asking for door delivery | NTA |
10wbm3j | I know this may sound incredibly childish but I genuinely need to know if I am the AH and will accept my judgement if I am.To start off I (F) have a phobia to dogs. I don't care how cute your dogs are, how nice they are ect. I am terrified of dogs and have had people in the past try and force me to get over my fear. However, I won't go out on a limb and insult dogs as the world does not revolve around my fears and I am generally okay around dogs and won't scream and cry as long as they stay away from me. Onto the story:I was walking home and on my way home i had encountered two people walking their dogs barely holding the leash. I didn't think much of it at first and tried my best to stay away. This is where I may be the AH. One of the dogs had started to come closer to me to try and sniff me. I kept moving away and continue walking home but the dog kept trying to sniff me and I had started to form tears in my eyes as the dog kept trying to sniff me. The owners had noticed my tears and started to get annoyed saying that their dogs are harmless and to stop crying and grow up. Eventually one of the owners had pulled their dog back and I was able to walk home but not without out them calling me an immature b*tch and an entitled brat who thinks the world revolves around them. Even when I was telling this story back to a friend, she said that the owners were right and that I acted entitled and that its not like the dogs attacked me and that my fear was ridiculous in this situation. So AITA? | AITA for backing away from a dog that was trying to sniff me | NTA |
10wntey | So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while now, about 4 months. We’ve known each other for about 14 years. I’m from another country, and he’s English. He moved to my country 14 years ago and we met at school, and our parents became friends because we were neighbours. We got back in touch a little bit after I finished Uni and he was finishing up med school, as I was moving to the UK town he was studying and soon working. That was just for context, sorry for the long story. Basically, we were never close as friends or anything but when I moved here he helped me acclimatise and move in, and we got close, eventually dating. Fast forward a bit and I have a couple different friend circles, and one night I mentioned my bf met my work friends, and my friends wanted me to bring my bf for dinner so they could “meet the guy I'm mental about”. The other person involved in this story is Sal. For context, Sal is normally very sweet and sociable, but a thing I’ve noticed after this is that she complains about dating boys a decent bit and in the time I’ve known her, she hasn’t had a boyfriend/girlfriend. I’ve never noticed that about her before btw. So we all meet up at dinner, and we’re chatting and going about it as per usual, with my friends focusing the convos on me and my bf for the night, as this was their first time meeting him. Me and my bf were sitting next to each other in a group of 7, including us, and we were quite close to each other, shoulders touching and we were holding hands. I was getting a bit of a weird feeling from Sal the whole night but thought something about her work pissed her off. Eventually what tipped her over the edge was when me bf made a joke about me, we all laughed except for Sal, who was on her phone. I basically responded by wrapping my arm over my bf’s shoulder, kissing him on the cheek and saying “I’ll get you for that” and winking. Everyone giggled at that but Sal slammed her phone on the table, said to be excused and walked off. After the dinner ended, Sal called me and yelled at me for the gross amount of PDA I was showing, the dress I was wearing, and pretty much everything about the night, and especially for rubbing it in her face that she can’t get a guy. She ranted at me for about 20 minutes before she cut the call. I chose not to argue and let us both cool down before saying anything, but is she right? I mean, I get why the pda i was showing might have been uncomfortable but i didn’t really do anything inappropriate. AITA? | AITA for being touchy with my boyfriend? | NTA |
10w5rvm | Me ,43 single mom, her 32ish married mom of 3. We’ve worked at a small family owned company for 7 years. We have always gotten along great. About a year ago she had a baby. Without asking our VERY passive boss about maternity leave she just decided that she was going to work from home. She didn’t want to put her kid in daycare. Her choice , not a big deal as I did the same with my kids. A year has passed and she has no intention of returning to the office. There is a very small part of our job duties that is combined. One duty that we share is being on call. Every other weekend we are supposed to swap the company phone and we each get paid accordingly for having it. Its not much but its enough for me to pay a small bill. I have struggles to make ends meet. Most days I’m working 15+ hours a day to keep the lights on. Late 2022 it became increasingly harder to get her to bring the phone to the office when it was my turn and I do depend on that extra income when I budget for the month. Twice she was to busy to bring it to town. I addressed the issue with the boss and He said she was not doing what she was supposed to be doing and he would address it and pay me anyways. Since the new year there has not been an issue with the phone. I can’t finish my workday until she gets all her work entered. Since late 2022 there have been NUMEROUS times that I am waiting until after 5 for her to enter info. I have hinted and asked that she please have her stuff done so I can leave at 5 to get to my other job to the point where I started calling her out on the group message. Yesterday I had had enough. I was at the office until 6:30 and she had some missing info. I called her twice. No Answer. Mind you she gets paid extra to answer the phone after hours. 20 minutes later she texted. I did not see it so I just finished her work and let the group know about the missing info so that she could record it in her reports at the end of the day. Then I got text from her on her personal phone asking if I had questions about invoices that I need to text her directly. SO, I did just that. I started another group message with her, the boss and the manager. I stated that since she doesn’t want to answer the phone and only text that I would be messaging in this private group so there is some transparency and some accountability. I let her know that I didn’t want to get blamed when customers weren’t paying invoices because she hadn’t put them in. If she couldn’t get them in I would do it for her so I can finish my day and she can fix them on her own time on her PAID rainout weeks at home. She had 7 hours to put in the last two invoice of the day . There are other issues of her not doing her job but most of it doesn’t affect me doing my job. But am I the browneye for calling her out? | AITA for resenting my coworker and holding her accountable and calling her out in a group message. | NTA |
10w83cs | Very long story short, my husband 35 recently reconnected with his friend Monique (40s). Monique does not live in our country but visited since they have reconnected. Anyway Monique on her visit and for Christmas bought our girls clothes and other toys etc. I did let him know to tell her thanks. During her initial visit she had bought him a Nintendo switch which my husband had told me he’d pay her back for. I had no issues with any of this. We had a discussion over Black Friday about whether he should purchase a laptop if Monique found one reasonably priced. I let him know that financially that wouldn’t be feasible as I needed a device for school. A week ago I found out that he had a MacBook Air (which costs locally about $10k I posted about this at the time). He hid the laptop for a month and lied about where it came from when I asked him after I found it. Eventually he said Monique bought it for him refurbished on Black Friday and he would pay her back over time. At this point I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with him and Monique associating. He said he explained to her the fact he lied and how I felt and they wouldn’t communicate. My thought process was that had it been me getting expensive gifts from a man he wouldn’t be comfortable and it would seem as though there was something else going on. I felt we needed to address our issues etc without outside interference. Today while we were on our way home I see a call from Monique. He initially lies about it and when I let him know I saw the call he says she’s been calling. I was upset so I asked to speak with her.Her tone was very condescending she kept saying that she understood my perspective but she didn’t see an issue with them being friends. I let her know that obviously I felt as though while my husband has his fault she is aware he is married and has kids and if he communicated to her it was causing issues in the relationship she should have stepped back and not doing so is disrespectful. She disagreed and said basically implying I was insecure and I had a problem with them being friends and I shouldn’t question the gift because I didn’t know how she got it. | AITA for asking my husband to refrain from speaking to his friend | NTA |
10wqfiu | my cousin (20f) & aunt have moved in with my family a couple of months ago. My aunt has her own room but my cousin moved into my room. We share a bed & basically everything els in the room. I enjoy having her here but I have 0 privacy now & am slowly getting irritated by all the little things she leaves around. Anyways. When they first moved in my cousin used up all my skin care/hair care/ & beauty products pretty quick but since I knew my cousin had no money to buy her own stuff I let it slide. (Typically when family comes to visit I enjoy them getting comfortable around my room & allow them to use my things) Turns out she had lots of money that her dad sent her but that’s another story. Here’s the problem, I am a full time college student that can only work 2 days a week (now 3) & I make just enough to pay all my bills & buy my self nice skin care & hair care products. I have to budget anything & everything so I am able to afford my so called luxuries. With that being said my cousin still hasn’t bought anything for her self, I now had to hide my shampoo & conditioner from her because she has thick hair & uses it all up. I tried hiding my perfume & skin care but she opens my drawers & uses it. I once brought up to her she can start buying products that work for her but she just ignored me. I had mentioned it again a couple of days ago & she called me selfish & a A hole for not wanting to share my products. She told me family helps one another & it’s rude to keep tabs on the things we share. I really don’t feel like an asshole but. Am I the Asshole? | AITAH for telling my cousin to buy her own things? | NTA |
10wh195 | To give context, I (49M) suffered a toxic and abusive relationship with a man, I left after 7 years of aggression, I became proud and strong after that. I have a wonderful gay son (23M) so life couldn't be better, my son's friends and I go out regularly and plan a lunch and sleepover with one of my son's friendsWe made lunch, bought pizza and watched some football and had a good time, everything was planned for tonight.My son had a bully in high school named "Justin R." and he is in the same university as my son. Justin used to make derogatory, racist and homophobic comments to my son, invented rumors about him, made his life miserable in many ways and everything came to a climax when he had posted intimate photos taken of another boy (I don't know who but I know they are not of my son) and he said they were of my son, the whole school believed her and my son was humiliated and moved to a different school. This was totally horrible and I'm not justifying it in any way but it was years ago and they are mature adults now. I don't know him but he's friends with a cousin of mine so I know who Justin is apart from the stuff my son has. One day, I met him outside the university, I was surprised to see Justin crying a lot for a grown man, he looked very bad so I worried about him. I approached him and my cousin told me that he broke up with his abusive boyfriend and that I couldn't leave him alone, I told Justin that I cared about his situation and we left the University for a fast food outlet. Justin kept saying that his boyfriend was an idiot and I understand him, I didn't explain much, I just knew that in a fight Justin's boyfriend threw him out of his apartment and h is homeless, I've been in this situation and it's horrible, so i told Justin he could stay with us for a few days and it can start the night at our football sleepover, this calmed him down a lot which made me happy, I know he did horrible things before, but I always thought that "pals before gals" and that that my son would understand, but no, when I called him, he was scared, he was very, very angry and he wouldn't stop cursing. I understand, but what Justin did happened years ago and he is now a gay adult and I didn't want to leave anyone alone who had suffered the same as me to understand and accept it, I promised my son that I would protect him and that we would have a good time, but he just said that he didn't want to see me at the sleepover so he hung up and refuses to speak to me to this day. I understand his feelings but he must understand mine too i'm sure Justin won't do anything to him. We'll all mature adults.Now my son won't talk to me and I'm so confused and I'm don't know what to do, It's still early so I want to sort things out before it's too late so my son and Justin are comfortable and I don't have to choose between my man or a homeless gay person who needs my helpAITA?Edit: Apologizes for the spelling and grammar errors I made. Just want the point across. | AITA for standing up for my son's ex bully? | YTA |
10wd0j5 | I am 20, work in retail at minimum wage with no college life (too poor) and no drivers license (too poor to start driver's ed as a minor, no car as an adult and no one to teach me), and live in a 5 person household with lower class/lower middle class wage in the family. With the money I get from my minimum wage job I pull in about 400/450ish a week, and 100 of that per week is rent and 25 per week is gas for the rides I get to and from work. It's a short drive so I luckily don't have to spend a lot. Weekly I'm also responsible for taking care of the pets in my household they got for me when I was a kid and I didn't necessarily choose to have 2 cats and 2 dogs, when you're a kid no one will say no to kittens and puppies. 4 animals gets SO expensive. I feed myself and never eat the food they bring in and take care of my mom when she gets into fibromyalgia episodes.My state released stimulus checks that were 450 dollars for each person recognized as poor on their taxes. Instead of knowing about it, my mom collected the mail, opened that envelope and hid it from me for three days. She pulled me aside today and told me that she's entitled to that money because they pay the bills and that my dad won't get one because he makes too much and she won't because she doesn't work. She said the state makes a mistake handing that money to "kids" that don't own houses. She said she was going to use all of it on a huge grocery trip and she sounded really excited that we could eat fresh fruit and food we like. My brother got to keep his check. When she told me she was keeping mine I didn't say anything, I just kind of accepted my fate and I've been trying to convince myself that this is the right thing to do. Other children in other families dream about paying back their parents for all the years of taking care of them.So why am I feeling resentful? Why do I want that money so much? Why am I angry? I could have used that money to get anything I've been needing for probably years now. I could have nice new shoes or nice clothes that made me feel pretty. I could have had sheets that didn't feel like laying on parchment paper. I could have used that to supply my animals for weeks. 450 dollars is so much extra money for people like me. I could have started saving for a car or a rent deposit, because you don't get to save money when all of it is gone by the end of the week. I could have done something.Should I be happy that my mom gets to eat nice food? My dad, my brothers, they get to eat food now because of money that came from me? Should I be fulfilled that I helped everyone? I did a good deed, right? AITA? | AITA for depriving my family of money? | NTA |
10wh1c2 | This is mostly silly, but I need to know!My fiance is a bit of a pack rat. I am a recovering pack rat so I don't judge. When I first moved in his place was very messy. I cleaned almost the whole house (there are a couple places I leave alone so that he can have areas he feels are his and I don't touch them). But I didn't mind, he didn't ask me to do it, I did it because I wanted to. I felt helpful, it was kinda cool to see the "before and after" after cleaning a room, and I felt accomplished. Anyway, that's the preamble to set scene. While I was cleaning, I found So. Many. Pens. Just random pens. Almost exclusively BIC pens and branded promo pens you get from like your real estate agent or whatever. I put them all together in one place. Guys, there was dozens of them! All random, many very old.Without asking him, I started to take them to work. I used up a pen about once a month. So I would bring maybe half a dozen at a time, and when I used them up, I would grab some more. About half of them were already dead, so I threw those out. I did not let anyone else use any of the pens. I am weirdly territorial about my pens, partly because I go through so many of them. Over the course of about 3 years, I used up almost all his rando pens. We still have about half a dozen that I won't touch. So all in all, I probably used about 40 pens, and threw 40 away that were dead.My fiance is (slightly) annoyed that I used his pens when I get free pens from work (he also got most of his pens for free). I told him about half were dead anyway, and he was NEVER going to use them all himself. I would be shocked if he used up an entire pen in the rest of our lives. He almost never needs to write anything physically down on a piece of paper. I saved those pens from the landfill, they all got used for their intended purpose! Also, once our pens run out, I have claimed I will be forever responsible for the purchase of any new pens. Which I guess doesn't matter now because we're getting married.So, AITA? | AITA for using all my fiance's old pens | NTA |
10wj83d | *on mobile*Today, my son (11yo) brought home a permission slip for a field trip but told me he doesn't want to on the field trip. The place he's going to is an Urban Green Space, so most if not, all of the trip will be outside, and there's lots of wildlife (I remember going as a kid and loving it) His reason for not wanting to go is because it's outside and he hates the cold, we live in the Canadian prairies so it can get downright freezing at times, in fact we just got out of a polar vortex (-40⁰s). Also, while he didn't mention it, he's never been a fan of animals of any kind.Part of me wants to let him skip it, but another part thinks it would be a good learning experience for him as well as he really needs to get used to being outside (we easily spend a third of the year below zero, even if he doesn't like it it's just life where we live).WIBTA if I told him to essentially suck it up (not in those words) and he can go on the field trip?ETA INFO: Just heard from someone whose child recently went on the same field trip. They will be outside for only about 10 minutes worth of snowshoeing, then they'll play a couple of games followed by preparing bannok (which is done inside) but then they go back outside to cook it over an open fire (which would also help to keep them warm) the rest is done inside. | WIBTA if I forced my son to go on a field trip? | NTA |
10wouvy | TWs: mentions of death and abuse I am fresh out of highschool living away from my dads house for the first time. He was very abusive to me mentally and physically for the entirety of my time living with him. I have spent the last 7 months living elsewhere and working through the trauma he had caused. My father recently passed away and while I haven't been giddy about it I haven't been sad either, I've been going about my life essentially in the same condition as when he was alive. Multiple family members have tried to insinuate that I'm actually not okay and that I am covering my feelings or it hasn't hit yet (mind you these family members are aware of his mistreatment of me. They've often brushed it off or tried to tell me about the good things he's done instead). My father's side of the family has been pushing me very hard to mourn. Repeatedly calling and texting, etc. One family member has even gone as far as to send me a paragraph text message about how my father is in heaven now and I need to forgive him because in heaven he feels bad for the way he treated me. I expressed that I was uncomfortable with this idea as I am not religious and I don't see someone dying as an automatic reboot for what they've done in the past It has been quite some time and family members are still ignoring my feelings and needs while pressuring me to forgive him and mourn despite me repeatedly expressing that I feel no need to mourn and that if they needed me I'm still hereThe funeral was a few days ago and everyone was pressuring me to go to support my family while they continued to ignore how I felt so I decided to stay at my partners house and attempt to re-explain why i didn't feel comfortable going. Multiple of my family members have lectured me on why I should have gone and one of them has even stopped speaking to me. My partner thinks what I did was okay, but my family is giving me doubts So reddit, am I the asshole? Thank you in advance | AITA for not attending my fathers funeral? | NTA |
10wnxg8 | Hey. My (28F) sister (31F) is getting married on Saturday. We RSVP'd yes, and we're fully intending on travelling the 3-4 hours to stay close to the venue. I recently had a baby (3 months F) and we were 100% on board with her coming to the wedding, since everyone's kids are coming. The issue is, my husband has become really sick, as in runny nose, chesty cough, headaches, congestion the works. (Thankfully not covid) Because he's become so sick, I'm inclined not to go to the wedding, but also because my Granddad who just had Whipple surgery due to pancreatic cancer, cannot get sick. It would be life threatening. I've been isolating from my husband since the first symptom appeared, yet I'm unwilling to leave him when he's so sick and I'm not 100% sure I haven't got it. WIBTA if I stayed away from the wedding? *on mobile* | WIBTA for not going to my sisters wedding? | NTA |
10wli5n | I (28F) have been living with my mother as of about 1 year ago, have a job but it doesn’t really pay well; think slightly above minimum wage. I’ve been living in an apartment that I’m renting from my mom at 50-75% below market so I could feel like an adult and have a place to call my own without going broke. The rent is still pretty high for me but it’s better than living at my mothers or an over priced apartment. My brother (42M,I’ll refer to him as “bro”) has been out of the house most of my life and living out of the state. He recently came to me about borrowing money I received after my father passed away. I put the money into a CD account so it grows over time. He called me while I was at work to see if he could borrow some money from that account. Let me just say that my bro and I don’t have the best relationship after my father passed away. He started the conversation with, “I’m not calling you to ask for money but to talk to you about something” then proceeded to braid me about my mothers spending habits and assets. At the end of the call I was crying and that’s when he asked me if he could borrow money and that he’d figure out away to pay me back with interest. I said yes at first because I felt pressured to say yes then when I called down after the call I told him that I would think about it. The one thing that I found off was he said, “we’ll think of a contract so both of us could sign and if I stop doing the payments you could take me to court” When I clocked back into work he continued to blow up my phone with texts and that when I have to turn off me phone. Later that week I texted him a well written text explaining to him that I didn’t feel comfortable lending him the money because of our already rocky relationship and that we should work on a better relationship first before I thought about lending him the money. After I sent the text I blocked him because I knew he would have blown up my phone. I finally unblocked him and my phone blew up with voicemails and texts on how I betrayed him and how could I take my mom’s side. The last text is what really hurt me he said, “why do you even need that money, you didn’t even go/finish to college.” So I haven’t come in contact with him since then. I’m still very hurt about the situation and it’s awkward now whenever I see him for hug family events like weddings and/or funerals. AITA for not allowing him to borrow the money? I feel guilty for not lending him the money so he could use it to purchase a house but I wanted the money to grow first and that money would help me build my own life. It would help me pay off debts when I do go back/finish college or even help me put a down payment on a house. | AITA for not letting my brother borrow money | NTA |
10wm4td | I got prety pricey VIP tickets for a weekend con in my area. I invited my best friend since my fiance could not come even though she’s not really into the thing it’s for. She agrees, though a bit reluctantly.I thought Friday was a lot of fun together, on Saturday around 5, she told me she’d asked her husband to pick her up, and she left. Though we were supposed to be there till around 9.I start tearing up and seconds later a random guy starts talking to me but then I remember she has my other VIP pass so I text her asking her to bring it. I try to wipe my face well so as to not show my tears when she brings it back. She gives it back then leaves.A few days pass and we don’t talk, so about 3 days later I text her and tell her that her leaving kind of hurt my feelings but that I don’t want things weird between us because she means a lot to me so we can just move forward. I then try to move on and show her my tattoo.She responds two days later and says she feels that I did not appreciate her because she only went for me. And that I “proceeded to cry and make a random man look at her like she was a bad friend”. But that she tried to think of the best way to leave & that she felt bad when she did.I said that I didn’t know that she struggled to leave me because she’s very self-assured and outspoken. I also told her I wasn’t trying to seem manipulative by crying but that I was just sad and that crying at all is embarrassing. I reiterated that I don’t want a misunderstanding, especially it being our first, to break us apart because I love her and value our friendship. I also apologized for misunderstanding.She responded saying she only went to support me cause no one else would go. But that she doesn’t believe she’d go again since “it is causing you so much turmoil that you are crying in public.” She kept that after 3 years of friendship, I obviously think she’s a zombie with no emotions.I told her that I didn’t say that. I just said she came off very cool, because that’s her personality. I say I apologize for reading her wrong and that I don’t want this to hurt our friendship. She just keeps repeating that I think she’s a robot with no feelings.I finally ask what she wants from me at this point and she says she just wants a thank you for having gone at all.That could absolutely be what she was looking for, but we are both weird about showing affection. I don’t think we’ve ever hung out and been like “Thanks for hanging with me!” Granted I know the con wasn’t really her thing, but she didn’t have to pay for anything & I saw it more as her just keeping me company, as she would if we hung out anywhere. And even if I was going to thank her, she left suddenly.Am I selfish for being upset that she left suddenly considering she even came at all?She hasn’t reached out in a week. And I even attempted one last time to move on and bring up something lighthearted, but I was left on read. ATIA?Edit: I believe the biggest reason I am unsure if I am the a-hole is because she left very abruptly despite how plans of staying 4 more hours, and when I expressed my feelings toward this in an attempt to talk it out, she got hostile and made the situation 10x more awkward and upsetting.I was alao under the impression she was having an alright time because she also offered to go with me Sunday. And she was down for going to Saturday earlier despite us previously saying we’d go later. If she didn’t want to go, she didn’t have to. I’d have been bummed but leaving me alone suddenly really hurt. | AITA for not thanking my friend? | YTA |
10wpo8r | Hey y’all, so my girlfriend of a few months is a member of a sorority at our local college. We’ve known each other since middle school, but never really got close close until a few months ago. Before we started dating she decided to rush due to one of her teammates for color guard being in a sorority and hoped to get into said house. She got accepted to the house she wanted and not soon after we started to talk and eventually date. As a member, she has chapter meetings every week and does recruitment events during the week too for spring recruitment. I was pretty oblivious about Greek life before and didn’t really care that she did it. But now as I see more and more of what sororities do, I get really creeped out. One example is for initiation, she must wear all white to symbolize purity, no makeup, no jewelry, she can’t vape, smoke, drink alcohol, eat anything over indulgent,have sex or do anything considered “impure” for 24 hours before and after the ceremony. Upon learning this, I got the heebie jeebies and Jonestown vibes. We attend a smaller school and her house only has 20ish members so it’s more laid back than bigger schools which are borderline cultish imo. I’ve been around her sisters a lot and I’m cool with them and Vice versa. I don’t have a problem with them, I just get an uncomfortable feeling about the institution itself. I don’t know how to describe it. The whole idea of having prove yourself to people you don’t know to be accepted into their house, attending required events, constantly displaying their Greek letters, reciting creeds, chants, songs, and spreading their beliefs is just uncomfortable to me to say the least. I joke with her about how she “lives in a cult” because they do all of that weird stuff and can’t tell any outsiders what goes on, and she sometimes takes offense or jokes about how I’m in a cult because in addition to being a student, I’m a reservist in the armed forces. (Which is a fair point) even though I tell her exactly what I do (up unto the point i can’t tell anymore due to some things being classified). I don’t want her to leave her sorority by no means because I see it brings her happiness and a group of close friends, and I respect that and want her to be happy and independent. I just want to know if being uncomfortable around the institution is ok? Or should I try to force myself into rationalizing the whole Greek life idea? Sorry for rambling. (TLDR My Gf is in a sorority and it kinda weirds me out, is it ok to be creeped out?) | AITA for being creeped out by sororities? | NTA |
10w9zki | My (M25) brother (M32) has 4 children. He is also a tattoo fan, although he is still not kinked to the neck, he is really trying. A few weeks ago he talked to me about tattooing the names of his children, the one that matters here is Enrique, but nobody calls him Enrique, in the family we call him Kike (and pronounced "Qeee-Kae" in english, sorry if I have no idea how to write pronunciations in english, your phonetics are f'ed up). When he told me that, I thought he was writing Enrique's full name, so it would be okay. He got the tattoos and then posted them on social media. I was stunned to see that he wrote Enrique's name as "Kike". I texted him to tell him that Kike is a racial slur. He asked what the hell I was talking about and I showed him the Wikipedia article for "Kike" the slur and then an article from the AJC.He said, "Well, we've never had a problem with it since Kike was born, so I don't think anyone cares," but I replied, "What if you're in a job interview and the interviewer sees your tattoo? Sure, they can ask about it, but a lot of people will not bother because they will think you support Hitter and slowly walk away". He got angry and asked me if I cared so much why didn't I warn him, I explained that I thought he was going to write "Enrique" and his tattoo artist should have warned him about the meaning of "Kike".He just said he didn't want to talk anymore and blocked me. I'm wondering if I'm being dramatic for no reason or if I should have warned him. | AITA for not warning my brother about the meaning of his Tattoo? | NTA |
10wdxzv | My (23F) stepfather passed away 10 years ago in a car accident. He was a good man. My stepbrother (18M) “Joe” has remained with us ever since. His mother passed away in 2007. We are his only living family at this point.Shortly after he died, my mother shared a “secret” with my sisters and I when we were 12-16: years before, our stepfather had told her he was not Joe’s biological father. He claimed to have proof of this, but never provided it other than the name of the man.His story went like this:He started his relationship with Joe’s mother a month or so into her pregnancy. Joe’s father was a drug addict and had recently been sent to jail for theft charges (and later on, after Joe’s birth, prison for further charges). My stepfather proposed to her 6 months into their relationship and agreed to have his name on Joe’s birth certificate.When telling this story, he explained he was concerned about telling Joe the truth in the future and how it could impact him. He felt it would be better for Joe to find out when he was older.When my mother told us—we were all just kids at the time—she forbade us to tell Joe about this in any capacity. Not “maybe someday.” Never. She showed us mugshots she found online of the man my stepfather had named to her. This man was the spitting image of Joe, and not just kind of.My sisters said it wouldn’t be fair to Joe not to know the truth, even if it turns out not to be true—because how could we know for sure it was true? Mom disagreed, said this would be confusing and hurtful for Joe to deal with at any age, he was better off believing his real father was a good man, not a convict.Recently Joe turned 18. My sisters and I have privately discussed maybe telling him what we know, but we have reservations.I’ve tried to put myself in his shoes, thought of what I’d want if I were him. I think I’d want to know, even if it hurt me or changed me. To know someone had cared for me as a father, that I’d grieved him, and to find out I still have a father who is alive?But what if it’s the wrong choice? What if none of this is true, and that man isn’t his father at all? And if it’s true, would it make him spiral to know what kind of man he is?How could he even contact this man? What if he doesn’t believe he’s Joe’s father, or he shuns him? How could it be proved they’re blood if they aren’t able to compare DNA? If he even agreed to it.I just imagine Joe losing everything he thought he knew about himself, and that it could be replaced with something horrible. He’s proud to this day to be my stepfather’s son. Would we not be ripping an identity away from him? As I get older I start to agree more that some secrets are best kept.Telling him or not is still to be determined. I’m mentally prepared to be told off, but know that I’ve been carrying this since 13 and I care for Joe very much. | AITA for not telling my stepbrother that his dead dad likely wasn’t his biological dad? | YTA |
10wohlp | AITAH? My best friend isn’t using my husband as her realtor. My husband has years of experience, is licensed in multiple states and has given my friend and her husband his time and advise multiple times when they’ve had real estate questions in the past.I knew my friend was considering a move and I’ve tried to talk to her about using my husband but she was cagey and kept saying she wasn’t ready to start seriously looking yet. After she accidentally let it slip she was looking at houses this weekend I again asked about my husband and she finally said she is using her previous realtor. I feel really hurt and betrayed and told her I needed some time (we were supposed to go hiking this weekend and I cancelled). Am I over reacting or is she an asshole? | AITA? Best friend not using husband as realtor | YTA |
10w949u | My mom recently started dating a man a few months ago (we'll call him Joe). About a month into their relationship, my mom asked if Joe could come to our wedding, and even though I hadn't met him yet (my mom lives in another state), I begrudgingly said yes because my mom seemed to really want him there, and I wanted my mom to feel happy at the wedding. A couple months later, my fiancee and I finally meet Joe when we visit my mom for the holidays. He was respectful enough; a little loud/boisterous, drank quite a bit. But, I didn't have significant concerns, and my mom seemed to be happy. Joe mentioned that we know someone in common. I call up this person who tells me concerning things about Joe - heavy drinking, infidelity, mooching off others, squandering of his family money, and bankruptcy. This information was obviously hearsay, but the spotty financial history specifically aligned with Joe's court history (online) which showed several court cases in which he appeared to have been sued by former landlords and creditors. This was especially concerning since Joe doesn't have his own car or home, and has moved into my mom's house, and is using her car… I'm worried that Joe isnt a great guy, and may be taking advantage of my mom. I relayed this to my mom, but she dismissed my concerns. She said she's happy and that she can handle herself. I don't want to tell my mom how to live her life, so if she wants to be with him, I accept that. However, with our upcoming wedding, my fiancee and I are feeling apprehensive of Joe being there. Not that he'll do anything while he's there, but that he isn't someone we want representing and being a part of our families. He's a stranger to us. Were paying for our wedding, and promised ourselves that we'd only have people there that we wanted there. And Joe no longer falls into that description. The thought of him sharing this important weekend with us makes the both of us upset. I relayed that to my mom, and recently told her he is no longer invited (but that she could bring whoever else she wanted in his place, so that she wasn't alone). She did not take this well, saying that it's unfair to her, and that I'm being too critical. She said she's not looking forward to being there, so long as she can't bring him, and has been lobbying me to reconsider. I wasn't naive to think she'd be fine with our decision, but I'm still feeling very guilty about it. I'm second guessing that this was the right decision; my mom is important to me, and it really bums me out to think that she won't enjoy our wedding. Beyond the wedding, this has the potential for creating a rift between us and a breeding ground for resentment… There doesn't seem to be a good solution - either Joe is there and we're uncomfortable all wedding weekend, or Joe is not there and my mom is brooding the whole time. In the end, because it is our wedding, I felt that we were entitled to be selfish. | AITA for disinviting my mom's new boyfriend from my wedding? | YTA |
10we3md | As per title. My friend is having a joint bachelorette with her partner and is allowing everyone to bring their spouse. I am the only single person in the group.If the party was local and didn't have a big price tag, I wouldn't be debating this. But instead it will be in another city and will be for several nights. The cost of the trip will be at least 1000.The high cost and the fact that I may feel like a third wheel the entire time is making me pause. I want to tell her I can't come, but it feels petty having the reason be that I'm single.Thoughts? | AITA for wanting to skip my best friend's bachelorette because I'll be the only single person? | NTA |
10wdy99 | I'm almost 40, have no kids, and am not married. I own no property. Not a lot stapling me to where I am.I'm close to my nieces & nephews & was close to my parents before they passed away, each from long cancer battles.For 6 years, I lived in a house my parents owned they had intended to give my brother, but my brother didn't want it after he spontaneously got married to a woman he met in the army.I did all the upkeep & maintenance (happy to do it) & collected rent from roommates for Dad & Mom. Mom promised me this house would be mine one day since bro no longer wanted it. She died first & my father decided to sell it. I was very hurt. I loved that house.As a compromise, he said if I got the house more presentable (repainting rooms & exterior, re-tiling roof, sanding floors, a few other minor repairs) and "showed" the house for him, I could have a small portion of its closing price. (wound up being ~22k)I was to use this to go back to school & get a "more practical" degree. I have a B.A. in Theater Arts. He wanted me to go back & get a teaching certification or study nursing. Right after the house sold & he put the money in my account, he lost his battle. I looked around & really started evaluating my life. I'm unhappy here & never really felt at home in my area. (rednecks, provincial minds).My parents were both frustrated artists who never got to pursue their dreams b/c they got married & had kids. My father was especially morose & would regale me with tales of living in NYC, studying art in the Village & Manhattan. I have his beautiful sketch studies on yellowing paper & his dreamy watercolors he tucked away & never displayed carefully saved.My Mom did theater in San Francisco & knew old beat poets & experimental playwrites but came back home when her Mom got sick. She didn't wax poetic about it, but I could see the regret in her eyes when she'd show me old scrapbooks.I want to use this money to move to California & pursue my acting, writing, and comedy dreams. I know people out there from school; I wouldn't be alone. My brother says I'm an asshole if I do this; that I'm flushing this $ away and what about my nieces and nephews here, they need me. Says I'm being a selfish turncoat & that I know that's not what Dad wanted me to do with the funds from the sale. I feel like this is my one and only life and I have to try. I watched both my parents die these horrible, long, lingering deaths, suffering tremendously, their dreams unfulfilled.I don't know. It had a profound affect on me. WIBTA if I did this? | WIBTA if I used money left to me intended for another purpose to fund a move across country to pursue a lifelong dream? | NTA |
10wfdfp | This was a few years ago but I think about it every now and then. I'm out with my wife and daughter (5 at the time) at a restaurant. At the end of the meal, after paying the check, my wife and daughter leave to go to the restroom. I decide to go browse the bookstore across the street from the restaurant while I wait for them. I wait in view of the restaurant while flipping through random books. After some time I wonder why it's taking so long and go back to the restaurant bathroom to check on them. They had left, a waitress told me. I walk to our car, parked around the corner, and they are sitting in the car. My wife looks angry and, when I enter the car, berates me for leaving them. She tells me I only think about myself and might as well be single. I tell her she could have just called me and that I was directly across from the restaurant exit and she should have been able to spot me. I tell her next time I will text her letting her know where I'm going and that I didn't want to leave them. She still, on the way home, scolds me for being so thoughtless. I do feel bad about this, in hindsight, and I don't know why I didn't just wait or send a text. On the other hand, I also feel that what I did didn't warrant a full dressing down. I'm posting this because I don't really know if I'm just sort of clueless or maybe my wife just had an emotional outburst. We all have them. | AITA for leaving my family at a restaurant? | YTA |
10wg30c | My brother got married to a childhood friend of mine almost 5 yrs ago who has a child from a previous relationship but she didn't gain custody of him until about 2 yrs later. He's been in the army the whole time so my family doesn't see them much. They lived here in town for the better part a year but hardly came to any functions, if so they'd leave her son (11) at home or with his dad. Last year I invited them all to my 2 yr olds bday party at my in laws, didn't hear anything until a few days before asking what he wanted and swore they'd come. Day of arrives, only my brother shows up, then leaves towards right before cake to go get her (they lived 5 minutes away). They show up after gifts and she's DRUNK and without her son, then overdrinks/ over stays after everyone else left. I decided not to invite them to anything else because I was so embarrassed. Everytime they work for the family business, there's drama that turns into them not speaking to anyone. Whenever they're together with us, she'll openly insult/ yall at him, which is extremely disrespectful. Fast forward to the fall, they move to S. Korea w/ her son. They just announced they're pregnant w/ they're 1st baby together, but I'm more worried about the kid she already has that has been just a background character in their life. I think it's irresponsible to try for a baby when you've neglected the one you have. My parents are excited about another grandchild, but judging off the last 5 years, I'll probably never see the kid so I don't see the point. Am I wrong?Edit: Typically I'm very loving towards babies, but I'm also under the thought process that not everyone should have children because you can't "un-have" them when things get tough. | AITA for not caring about my brother having a baby | NTA |
10wdyxj | I'm 23, university graduate, and I work from home in my own place. My parents live about 15 mins away, and my sister lives 5 mins away (along with her husband and her 2 young kids).After I got my own place, I bought a car last summer so that I can travel on my own to wherever I wanted. But having my own (new) car has been great, and it was at low mileage as well. I see my parents every weekend, and I'm happy to do so because they're the only family I have (along with my sister's squad of course). We weren't rich growing up, so I always try to pay it back to them. The closest relatives to us live a 6 hour drive away.Last September, my dad told me that his brother-in-law's mom passed away, and that he needed to go to their city (6 hours away) to attend the funeral (since he's very close with his B.I.L). In the past, he had often driven by himself with my mother to those kind of events (years before covid), but after the 2 year pandemic, he claimed how he's old (57) and that he's not able to maintain driving for 6 hours. While I wasn't a fan of driving 6 hours for something I wasn't looking forward to, that's not why I felt annoyed. He told me that we needed to wake up at 4am, leave by 6am, arrive by noon, and then after the funeral we would leave around 3-4pm to get back home before it gets too late...So he wanted me to drive him in my car at 6am to a city 6 hours away, stay there for 3 hours, and then drive him back 6 hours home. He did offer to take the wheel halfway through the trip (I have a very bad habit of getting sleepy after constant driving), and he told me that he would pay for gas on the trip to the city (while I paid for the trip back home...).When I told my sister about how I felt, she said "You're his son, and I have 2 babies to take care of. You need to realize our parents are getting old, and you need to be there to help them".So obviously I did just that, and spent a day driving most of 6 hours, and then after 3 hours I drove Now today... my dad called me and told me that his cousin's dad passed away, and he needed to go the other city to the funeral this Friday. Since it starts at 10AM, he says we need to leave by 3AM so we can get there on time. He also told me that he's pay for gas. On top of that, he said that we didn't need to stay long, at most 2 hours, and then we would need to drive back at 12PM. He told me to get back to him later this evening to confirm if I can take the day off work (which I can) and if I can drive him there...AITA for not wanting to always drive my dad 6 hours both ways to random funerals as a day trip? | AITA for not wanting to drive my dad 6 hours both ways to see his family for funerals? | NTA |
10woyh5 | I, 20(f) told my friend 21(f) that she should stop calling out of work. For context, we went to high school together and i know her very well. She was looking for a new job and because I was leaving mine I recommend her and got her my old role at work. She has worked there for approx 2 months and has called out at least 10 times over non-emergent scenarios. She will lie to her boss (my old manager who I love) and make up elaborate stories on why she can’t show up. In doing so she will call me for support to comfort her and listen to her decisions (she calls me every time she calls out). I do believe mental health can absolutely affect your ability to work etc, but she i feel she is using it as a scapegoat as she has done this so many times, meanwhile still goes out with friends the same night. She asked me last week if I thought it was a good idea to call out and I told her i didn’t think so and that she should try and prioritize work. She replied that she comes first over a job and if she feels bad she’s not coming in. She got upset that I suggest that sometimes you have to power through things you don’t always like. She hasn’t spoken to me in over a week, AITA? | AITA: I told my best friend to stop calling out over her anxiety | NTA |
10wcni5 | My BILs wife recently reached out to my wife for some financial help since my BIL is currently unemployed. My wife said that she would need to discuss it with me first, and that we'd figure out what we could afford. When my wife said this, BIL's wife asked her why she needed to run everything by me, and if I "allowed" her to have any of her own money.So some additional background: We got married young and poor, so we always pooled our money together to make ends meet. My wife tracked paying the combined bills when we started out, but didn't like it, so I took over. It's been this way for the past 15 years. We both make about the same amount and it goes into a joint account. From there, I pay the bills and move money into different investment accounts. My wife is aware of/has access to these accounts, most of them are joint (others are in our individual names), and I update her once a month on their balances. Neither of us really spend a lot, so I've never felt like I've needed to tell her not to buy something. We usually discuss purchases over $500.So my wife explained this all to my BIL's wife. My BIL's wife now feels that I am "financially abusing" my wife by "controlling the purse strings", and has been telling my wife's family as much. My MIL and FIL feel that it's OK to join some finances, but that each person should have an account to do as they please. I think that each person should be able to do what they want with their money, but that doesn't require having separate accounts, just communication between parties. I will say that my in-laws aren't the best with money and the reason they have separate accounts (according to my wife) is that because, when it comes to her dad, "if he has $20, he'll spend $20".On my side, most of my family has a similar set up to ours where one person handles more of the "financial chores" than the other person. For my parents, it was my dad. For my grandparents, it was my grandmother. However, I asked a few friends who are recently married, and it seems that people tend to not combined their finances the way me and my wife did. They were also surprised that we had combined finances since they felt it was an old fashioned concept (and my one friend hinted at being slightly misogynistic, which I could see if there wasn't transparency).I asked my wife if she want's her own account so she can have her own cash. She said that what we've been doing has obviously worked for the past 15 years, so why change it. (She also clarified that she used the "let me check with my husband" line because she felt like she was being put on the spot and didn't want to answer her right then.)So, at least in her eyes, I don't seem like the AH, but I'm wondering if I'm a bit of an asshole due to following this more "old-fashioned" model. Should we have more separation of our accounts, or as my one friend put it "financial privacy"?​EDIT: Thanks for the feedback! It seems that having a system that works for us is what's important. And my SIL can go pound sand. | AITA for "controlling the purse strings" | NTA |
10wfqgh | In August 2022, my (M27) best friend (Sam M29) of over a decade got engaged to his partner (Jane F30) (not real names) while away on a holiday. I was periodically house sitting to check on their animals, and scheduled my last visit for when they were due home. When they got home, Sam asked me to be his best man. I was so happy that they wanted me to be a part of their big day! A matter of days after the engagement, they found out Jane was pregnant, so they decided to postpone the wedding until mid 2024.Last weekend, I saw them for the first time since the engagement. I don't live close by, but the rest of the wedding party all lives within a 20 minute drive of Sam and Jane, so naturally they meet up with each other more regularly than I'm able to. A lot of talk about the wedding had been said while I wasn’t present.Towards the end of my weekend with them, Sam casually mentioned several things that had been said about me by Jane and her party about my role as best man and me as a person, throughout several conversations.1. They don't trust me to look after the rings.2. Jane, the maid of honour (MOH), and Sam's mother will be vetting my best man's speech.3. I will never be trusted alone with the baby.I immediately voiced several objections, I felt each one of those points are massively disrespectful in various ways, and show a basic lack of trust in me. Sam assured me that none of this was his idea, it was the bride and the MOH, and brushed off my objections.From my perspective, this doesn't make things better. I've never even met the MOH, so she's only going on what she's heard from Jane and Sam. From what Sam has said, the MOH and I are polar opposites, there's no reason to write a speech if she gets to dictate what I can say. If I cant be trusted to look after the rings ( a feat often accomplished by children), and I can't be trusted to write a speech, I really don't see why I should be best man. Furthermore if they don't trust me to do this, I'm not sure why I was asked in the first place. (I feel my objections to my 3rd point are obvious enough to not need expanding on.)In addition, Jane doesn't know me very well, we've never spent time alone together, so she's only ever seen me interacting with Sam, we've been friends since we were teenagers, of course were idiots! But like any close friends, we have real conversations, we are idiots, but it's a choice. I was brought up well, privately educated, I know how to behave when the situation calls for it. I found that type of life very stressful and uptight; having to act how I'm "supposed to" so now, to the immense disappointment of my parents, I act like an idiot and enjoy myself. Sam knows that, and didn't stand up for me which I feel would solidify Jane and the MOH's belief that these "rules" were necessary in the first place.I understand that I need to have a conversation with Sam about this, but if nothing changes and these measures are still implemented, WIBTA for backing out?​ETA: Idiot was probably a poor choice of words. I don't mean that I'm intentionally absent minded or neglectful. I roughly mean that in eccentric in m day-to-day life and I love it, and Sam and I can be man-children around each other. And when I say it's a choice, I only meant to imply that I know how to function as an adult, and know where lines not to be crossed are. hope that clears things up | WIBTA for not being the best man at my friend's wedding, even though I've already accepting the position? | NTA |
10wpzqy | I (16F) was abused by my mom my entire childhood (ref. previous posts), we’ve had such fights before with some level of closure achieved but it was never enough. today when i woke up my zipper wasn't properly closed and it went a little deep but i hadn’t noticed and she started yelling at me about it so I said you could’ve just said it normally and ask me to zip up. this led to a fight and I told her for the first time how much i hate our relationship and it pains me and i wish i had another mother (based on our past, not today's incident).later i was texting my dad about it and he kept invalidating my experience saying “you’re being ungrateful” or “she only did that for ur own good” or “she didn’t mean to do that” or “if you ever have a chance at achieving your life’s dreams, the credit goes to her”, and he kept equating events when i was rude to her to events where she downright abused me. i told him he should be a parent before a husband but if he’s not then cool and made a lil snarky joke (my therapist will be hearing about you). i told him he was a bad parent for allowing everything that happened to happen and not protecting me from it. he just said “thanks for the compliment” and went offline. now neither of them are speaking to me and it's so tense living here.AITA? | AITA for calling my dad a bad parent? | NTA |
10wpym9 | Hopefully I explain this well. If not feel free to ask questions…I live in a decent townhouse apartment community. Recently a group of kids 10 and under have been playing ding dong ditch. Usually they stay to the end they live in but this afternoon they were knocking on doors at my building. The lady who lives on the end is elderly and has cancer. She’d barely got home from the chemo center today and these kids started knocking on her door and running off. She was so weak she could barely get to the door and she didn’t realize it was a prank. I saw the kids do it and their parents never watch them or do anything at all to make them behave so I told them off. No cussing. Nothing crazy. Just told them she’s old, she’s sick, it’s rude and disrespectful to be doing that to her. Pretty much just tried to make them feel like crap assuming they have a conscience.I only know the parent of one of the kids because most of these kids run around without any supervision at all. I’d never seen any of their parents before today in all the time I’ve lived here because hardly anyone who lives here actively parents their child in any way. I talked to that one kid’s parent as soon as I told the kids off. Everything was fine.BUT next thing I know another kid is dragging their parent up the street toward me and everything went downhill from there. A 9yo and 10yo are saying I cussed them all out and threatened them and trying to convince all the other kids to say the same. The parents of those 2 are mad because they’re convinced kids never lie or exaggerate anything ever. Then another parent comes up and says the 10yo said I tried to hit their kids. Those 2 kids ended up admitting it was all a lie and that they really were bothering the lady after the 9yo and 10yo walked away and the parent was fine in the end but I still have 2 parents raging at me for telling their kids and others not to harass an elderly lady with cancer. AITA? | AITA for telling the neighborhood kids off for ding dong ditching my elderly neighbor with cancer? | NTA |
10wpw5b | Ok so I missed a week of work in Oct and took 2 days off in Nov. My boss would call or text just to check in to see if I was okay. Our job also has weekly meetings and one on one's. One day I confessed that one of my days off on in Nov was due to being hungover/personal issues during our one on one. Anyway, my absence was excused and he did the standard "if you need anything, we are here for you" work speech. Seems like he really did me a favor. **Not sure if this matters but my boss is a 50 something year old gay man and I'm a 28 yr old female. I dont feel uncomfortable around him at all. He's very pleasant. **So one evening he called on the weekend and I thought something was wrong and so I answered. He was drunk and kind of confessed that he had an alcohol problem and shared his past. So I tried to talk him down and it seemed like a one time thing. For a few weekends I would answer calls and sometimes he would be drunk and sometimes he'd call to talk about work. He would say that we could be friends but it's unethical so I shouldn't tell anyone. At first I thought "ooh being friends with the boss may be nice". It started to get uncomfortable when he called 3x on Christmas Eve, & Christmas day and he started to call every weekend. I've started to put my phone on airplane mode I started to block him during the weekend and didn't even realize I was just accustom to this behavior. He just seems so lonely and I also shared part of my past about being in a relationship that turned abusive due to alcohol. So I think he thought he could confide in me blah blah. So when I came in to work last week, I was asked to write an incident statement about his behavior outside of work. Idk why I thought it was just me...I waited for a week to write anything but when he called out of work Mon and Tues and called me 5x over the weekend, I felt like I didn't have a choice. I'm just not sure why I needed to write a statement if his behavior has gotten so out of hand and was recognized at work anyway. (Arriving drunk at work)I was vague in the statement saying that he was a great boss but I've had to ignore calls after work. I also stressed that he just needs HELP. He has been showing up to work drunk off and on so idk. I'd love some feedback!(I work PT at a law firm) | AITA for writing the report? | NTA |
10wr7un | I (15f) and my partner (14f) have been together for over a year now. My partner was never the social type, but theyre more of a deep, long conversation type person whilst I am a “ ohh look at this thing I found today, or, guess what happened today “ kind of person. Our personalities do clash, but not in a bad way. We share some interests, talk everyday and genuinely love each other a lot. Recently she got into South Park. Yes, this post is going to sound childish, but I’m having some issues with it. I don’t care about the show, and I don’t mind anyone who enjoys it either. She’s always kind of overlapped what I said, I never minded it too much but ever since they started watching it shes just become a bit more ...rude? I don’t know how to put it. Through text they’ve been really dry and expect me to respond to her texts when she doesnt respond to mine when I tell them about my day while they’re sleeping. she’s also started insulting me a lot more and immediately following it up with “sorry”. I’m a very sensitive person, she knows that. I take playful insults lightly, but these just feel very targeted and truthful. I was taken aback the first time, now it happens every day. Words of affirmation mean a lot to me as well and I constantly say I love you to her but she rarely says it back. Shes just been feeling a lot more distant now. The aggression in her tone is also something I picked up. I cant tell if her insults are a joke, or if she’s being serious. Or if I’m overthinking and being sensitive. I’ve been wanting to confront her about it, as this has been going on for two weeks now, I think. And it’s getting kind of unpleasant to try and talk to her if I just feel overlapped or ignored. WIBTA??sorry, for the poor quality. This is my first post in this subreddit. :)edit: also sorry my English isn’t the best. It’s not my first language. | WIBTA for confronting my partner about her personality change? | YWNBTA |
10wr76m | So yesterday i noticed something "Which i was obviously oblivious to" ... My girlfriend NEVER asks anyone, anything!? Let me try to explain!Quick breakdown of our relationship::Been together for 16 years, and we are absolutely in love. Never had kids and live together. Shes 38 im 35. Gonna call her Jane. Lets take my mother for this example::Yesterday i was talking to my mother on the phone about this Computer course shes been taking for 2 months, it's for seniors mostly, how to send emails and set bookmarks in websites and such. Really happy for her because shes been very depressed recently because her son "My brother" moved away to spain and she recently lost her job. So having somewhere to go every Tuesday and socialise was just what she needed. So all the time we were talking on loudspeaker "about 5 minutes". My girlfriend was in the room with me playing around with her phone. Then my mother asked if Jane was ok? Jane said "Yeah im ok! Had a busy day in work today though!" then she started just talking about her day. This conversation went on for easily 30 minutes and then they both said goodbye. In them 30 mins or so, Jane never once spoke about the course.So this got me thinking... And it made me come to the conclusion!! She never asks anyone about their days or how they are feeling or well... ANYTHING!And when someone is telling her about their lives shes always, disinterested? Even when we are out with her best mates. They would be talking about work or something and theres Jane, not joining in and barely listening. It's always a one sided conversation, unless shes talking about HER lifeWe would be talking as a group about a new movie thats just came out, or a wedding one of them had a week ago. And jane would be looking at her phone or just looking around.Not just friends and my family either. She does this with her family too. Her mother would phone her up about her losing her cat and Jane would slyly change the subject to her cough she had last week.. Now i know what you are thinking... shes just shy? But NOPE Jane is definitely not shy. Quite the opposite actually! Shes a public speaker! And before you ask, yes she does this with me to!! In our 16 years shes never once asked me did i have a good day today? Or how am i feeling, or anything. I have to TELL her. And even then shes looking around for something to do not giving me any attention?So.... Would i be the arsehole for telling her shes being a little Selfish? Keep in mind that i honestly don't think shes doing this on purpose..... maybe selfish is to strong a word. Gahhh im so worried about this!!!! | WIBTA For telling my Girlfriend shes SELFISH!? | YTA |
10wjloz | Today I got into a fight with my mom because I (19) decided to teach my sister (10) how to cook bacon instead of doing it for her.For context: My sister is picky with food, she didn't want to eat the pork ribs we had in our fridge, so she decided that she wants a salad with a side of bacon. She is also lazy and never wants to clean up after herself. My parents never say anything to her about it and just do everything for her, and she knows it. And I don’t think it's good... I think she should learn to do things by herself (like cleaning after she eats, putting away her bag and lunch box after school, etc.) instead of my parents doing it for her. I was pretty independent at her age, and I used to pack my food for school, and cook stuff like scrambled eggs, etc. And I thought there was nothing wrong with my sister doing it too...My parents weren't home and my mom asked to give my sister food if she was hungry. But my sister didn't want anything from the fridge. She asked me to make bacon and I said she can do it by herself and I told her how to. After successfully cooking the bacon, she left the electric stove and pan dirty to let it cool down, and forgot to clean it.When I told my sister to clean up after herself, my mom was already home and snapped at me about how "she's too young to cook", that I should've done it myself, and that she "can't wipe a stove" because she's too young, and so on.It ended up turning into an argument, and she yelled at me about how upset she was, and that apparently my sister ruined the pan and that it was all my fault.I told my mom that I thought allowing her to learn and do a try/error will be much better than just doing it for her... to what my mom answered that “it's not my business to teach/educate her kid what to do” and that I should've just done what she asked, and that this just shows how much “I don't care about my sister” and that I'm "an irresponsible brat".So AITA for letting her cook bacon? | AITA for letting my sister cook bacon ? | NTA |
10wr54p | My older sister, Ally (22f) is getting married to Sam (21m). Our parents don’t agree with dating. And they want us with someone from our culture. Sam is nice though. Intelligent, very handsome lol, a little awkward but kind. He does have autism and BPD. Sam isn’t very open and is quite embarrassed about these things. But my sister (and the rest of us) love him regardless. Ally has no plans on breaking up with him, and was prepared in case our parents decided to cut her off. But they took it well. Admittedly, she did twist some details. But Ally’s always been good at getting out of trouble and this time was no different. They were willing to meet him. It was a complete interrogation though. They were iffy about some things but with my sister’s coaching, Sam did pretty well.Thing is, my mom easily figured out that Sam has autism. My dad didn’t realize and thinks Sam is okay. Well, my dad left the house to get food and my mom pulled Ally and I aside. She immediately asked if Sam has autism. Ally said yes. My mom then proceeded to say that he seems like a nice kid but she can’t let this happen. Safe to say, Ally and I were shocked. Of all things... this? Ally said as much and our mom said to think about her future kids. She asked if she really wanted them to have autism as well. If she really wanted to deal with autistic kids when she could have kids with a more mentally fit man. My sister shut her up though and my mom decided that it wasn’t worth it I guess. The night ended pretty well. Sam and Ally left.My parents were speaking, discussing whether they approved. I noticed my mom hesitate and immediately called her over, interrupting them.I told her that if she told dad about Sam, that I’d tell him about how she regularly talks to her mother (she stole money from my dad and never paid it back). My mom immediately got pissed.I just told her the choice was hers. She called me sneaky, manipulative, insulted me some, etc etc and said that I’m technically no better than her since we’re both keeping very important things from him.I guess she’s not wrong. I am being hypocritical in a sense and well, I’m sure my dad will find out about Sam being autistic one day. I just didnt think my mom was going to tell him appropriately. I don’t know if I’m the asshole but I know I’m not exactly doing the right thing either. AITA? My mom isn’t talking to me anymore and my other sister (not Ally) said I sounded real manipulative. | AITA for being hypocritical and threatening my mom? | ESH |
10wpkcb | Posting for my husband as he’s conflicted with this and wanted an outsiders perspective. Husband is a self employed contractor for an in-demand trade. A friend of his is in the same trade with his own business as well. Friend hooked up husband with a company that works as a third party business— basically what they do would be connecting clients with independent contractors and then marking up that contractors bill to the client, so that they’re making money. Husband worked a few jobs for this company but it was very disorganized and he didn’t like how the communication between the company and clients were going down. That being said, one of the clients he’d been working for asked if he could deal directly with my husband instead of going through the company. This client had been with the company about a year and had been consistently frustrated with their lack of communication, among other issues. This guy didn’t have a problem with their markup of costs- just that it was such a gongshow getting the services he needed. Husband also wasn’t impressed by some of the work by other contractors within the company and didn’t want his business name associated anymore, so he let the business owner know that he was going to part ways. The client of the company reached out to my husband after he’d cut ties with the company and asked him to continue to do work for him, as they both got along well and the client appreciated his work. Business owner is now very unhappy with my husband for “stealing his client”, though this wouldn’t have been an issue in the first place had they acknowledged this customers concerns over the past year, as well of just allowed husband to work directly with that client through the company as per what that client had requested. There was no contract between company and my husband for work- it was all independent, as needed. There was no contract stating he couldn’t work with customers if he was asked directly. This is the brief summary but we can give more details if anything is unclear! | AITA for “stealing a client”? | NTA |
10whkdj | I work in a office with two age groups of people the 30- 50 group and the 18-26 age group I am 24f and I tent to gravitate towards the 18-26 group more when it comes to socialist at work. Our office is pretty busy so the socialist in the office is much but normally when we are slow. I specifically talk to my coworkers 18f and 21m mostly just because I work with them most directly. I enjoy there company….sometimes… I am pretty reserve and don’t really go out to parties or drink like my coworkers. Because of their my cow workers are always asking to hang out outside of work or go to a restaurant near by to drink during our lunch break ( we get an hour lunch). I decline just because I honestly rather be by myself and eat alone because sometime those co workers can be to much and loud and obnoxious. They also can sometimes be childish and wanting to get on talks at work and just start shaking their butts which I fine kinda odd. Ever time we work to gather they ask me to go to lunch with them but I always decline but this time the 21 m told the 18f that he would only go to lunch with her if I come along. So the 18f was begging me to go with them so they can get drinks on their break and they can go have fun at this restaurant. I of course said no and my co worker huffed in disappointment and called me lame and boring for never wanting to do anything with them. AITA? | AITA for never wanting to hang with my co workers | NTA |
10wo1jt | Throwaway for privacySo to start off im 19f and bf is 19m. We've been together for 4 years and overall our relationship is good.We are currently ldr because I'm a few hours away at college see each other when we can, so usually a few days together every month or every other excluding breaks when it's much more frequent.... We also do virtual dates through facetime and can talk about nearly anything including finance's.Anyways so I just spent the weekend back home with him and some family (including his) and a good amount of this requires a few hours travel time each way. He usually ends up driving and I navigate/manage the phones for safety. All I really do is choose music and make sure everything goes smoothly. ( good conditions, don't miss turns, etc) but he got a text from his mom asking about their cars and which he took etc, I asked if he was cool with me responding and he said that I should. I went to respond and I noticed that she had said she pulled money from his account ( for rent) in a prior text on screen.( Not snooping literally just there)Now I just responded to the most recent text(s) and let it go, but earlier in the evening she mentioned she has access to his and his siblings bank accounts, ( free reign to do what she pleases) and that concerned me. She had to pull money for something from his younger sibling and that's why it was mentioned.( Which is more reasonable because they are a minor but still) She's a good women and we get along well, but from personal experience it's not a good thing to let someone be able to access your money at any given whim. ( I.E My father had access to my account but it wasn't necessary so I removed it, especially after he "joked" about draining my savings.)I really want to ask why he hasn't set up an auto transfer, or write checks instead of just letting her have free access. (Because his parents are having him pay a set amount of rent per month) I don't think he would necessarily be upset as he is very rational and level headed, but it also doesn't feel like my place right now. We have discussed moving in together in a few years, and I've known this man for a good majority of my life so I want to make sure he's secure, as well as his future. I feel like if I don't ask now it could be a problem later. So WIBTA if I ask about my Bfs rent and his mom's access to his bank account? | WIBTA if I asked about my bfs rent? | NTA |
10wpc3a | I’m going to keep this as short and sweet as possible. Throwaway. My gf and I have been together for about 5 years. She is in her residency so she doesn’t have a lot of time to go out and have fun. My job is pretty demanding as well so I don’t go out as much as I used to but I try to go to a restaurant some nights or something like that. My gf had some days off coming up and one night she told me she missed hanging out and having fun with me and staying out until the sun rises like we used to so we planned a Saturday night outing with some of her friends and my boys. So the next Saturday night we all went out the this popular bar that people said was good. The night was going great, we were all drinking except my gf and a few of her friends and just having fun. My gf’s friends started leaving around 12 am and by maybe 1 am it was just my gf, my boys and I. We continued to drink and dance and laugh but by around 2 am my gf said she wanted to go home. I told her I wasn’t ready to go and that this was my first night out in a long time so I gave her the car keys so she could drive home. I would just grab an uber or something. When I gave her the keys she just looked at me for a second then grabbed the keys and left. I went back to my guys and around 4 am we went our separate ways. I called an uber for one of my friends and I, he wanted to save money and just get an uber to his place so I could crash there and he’d drive me home in the morning but at that point my gf wasn’t answering any of the messages I had sent her since she’s left asking if she made it home safe and just checking in so I told him I was just going to pay the uber for another trip and go home. When I got there my gf was asleep so I just went to bed too. The next morning my gf was basically not talking to me. When she did it was full of one word answers and attitude. I asked her if she was okay and then she finally said that me leaving her was an asshole thing to do. I told her I just wasn’t ready to go. We went back and forth like that for a while until she just went to her moms house. So, Aita? | AITA for letting my (24m) gf (27f) drive home? | YTA |
10wqwcz | The other day I (16 M) was getting ready to go to school and because I don’t have a car I get driven by my brother (17 M). My brother always has had a problem with waking up in the morning sometimes you have to wake him up 4 times just for him to actually get up cause normally he just goes back to bed. Also I have to add this my brother has anger issues, so whenever you wake him up you get a barrage of insults. So back to the story I knock on his door and wake him up then continue to get ready. 10 Minutes later I knock on his door again to make sure he was up, he replies with one of his snappy insults but whatever thats every morning. So after 20 minutes this time not even to try and wake him up I knock on his door and ask him how long until hes ready. He at this point is just angry already so he comes out of his room to rant about how annoying it is that I knock on his door every morning. I at this point was already extremely frustrated because over the past few months I’ve been cleaning up after him like picking up plates he leaves out, doing his dishes, folding and doing our laundry, cleaning the bathroom including his literal piss off of our toilet. I can’t clean his room for him but just for context it stinks and usually has dirty dishes or cans littered everywhere. I knew I shouldn’t have escalated it but I screamed at him “Get the f*** out of my room” it turned into a screaming match and I called him an “f****** slob” (which he is). During this he said something along the lines of me never getting driven by him again which in my opinion is a bit unreasonable saying how we live an hour away from my school. Afterwards he left the house mad and I got driven by my dad. I haven’t talked to him since but he did go up to my friend at school with the intent of complaining about me to her but she having already heard my side shut him down before he could say anything.I haven’t spoken to him since and my dad called me saying that I should apologize for calling him names, but honestly I don’t want to as I meant every word that came out of my mouth. Which might make me the asshole. I just can’t deal with him anymore, he touches and breaks my things without permission, insults and belittles me infront of my friends and trys to guilt trip me after every argument. But on the other hand maybe I’m just not able to see his viewpoint because he is very sensitive so even the smallest things to him seem as huge events. I also started the screaming match and did call him a series of names.So am I the asshole?Edit: This was at my dads house which I do most of the chores at, My moms house the chores are more evened (his rooms still gross though) but at my moms house he can get away with insulting me more because my mom won’t immediately shut him down like my dad does | AITA for screaming at my brother that he’s a slob | NTA |
10wawp0 | So first a little background. I've (F21) been wearing a heart monitor patch for the past week and got to take it off today. I was prescribed the patch because I drank a single cup of normal watered-down coffee and then proceeded to get minorly spooked/anxious after someone I wasn't expecting (workers) arrived at the house which caused me from that point on have my heart rate at and around 125 for the entire day. (I have one of those finger monitors)I was literally in the bathroom the whole day curled up on the floor in the corner trying to calm down.Family members have a history of heart issues but none of those have killed anyone in our family. (It's mostly just minor arrhythmia and tachycardia)Anyway back to the current week long heart monitor situation. So the issue is that my mother (F50) has been trying to force me to drink coffee again/caffeine to intentionally cause my heart rate to speed up and become tachycardia so that the monitor could pick it up.When the monitor was put on none of the staff working with me said anything about me doing this nor did any of the physical stuff for me to take home. (Directions and etc for the monitoring period and device.)On top of that I had an Echocardiogram the day before where my mom mentioned trying to get me to make the tachycardia happen in the ways stated above and the guy doing the echo refuted her idea and specifically stated that it was a bad idea and I shouldn't do that.So for the week I've had the monitor on she let me know she was going to try and make it happen anyway. This consisted of trying to jump scare me, purposely trying to upset me, and trying to force me to have caffeine all week despite me clearly and directly telling her NO on day one. So now today when I finally got to take the monitor off her first reaction as soon as I told her I'd taken it off and that it's ready to be mailed back was to start yelling and cussing at me for not purposely drinking coffee to make it happen again.Calling me stupid, ranting at me, telling me if I died of heart issues to remember what I did.There's more that she said while screaming at me but I started subconsciously blocking out what she was saying and ended up freezing in the moment.So AITA for not forcing myself into tachycardia..? | AITA For Not Intentionally Causing Myself To Have Tachycardia | NTA |
10wns1m | My friend went to a blockage to save the rainforest with her children all under 10 years of age. The police helicopters where now circling the sky.After living in the forest for 3 months with her boys she asked me to pick her boys up. It took me 3 days to get them and I had to borrow a car, it was a mission( but would do it again in a heartbeat for those boys) when I got there she had decided to stay and sit in a tree to protest while I take the boys.She told me she would be back in a week. She didn't stick to her promise..3 weeks went by with no contact from her, BUT I was seeing her posts on her Facebook page.Turned out she had a truck donated to her the whole time and would have been able to get her boys out and safe with ease..I was selling my house at the time and couldn't work due to looking after her boys. I was very angry with her at this point and stressed to the max- I vented in confidence to a good friend via text messages. I just wanted her home and safe.8 months went by with no hard feelings. Things had settled down.. Until one night I accidentally left my phone at her house, she went through my phone and read all my messages about her. She has since blocked me and I've been ostracized from friends because in there eyes she is a hero and did nothing wrong. Am I the asshole for getting mad and venting to my friend via text messege? | AITA for venting about my friend via text messege? | NTA |
10wqokl | I (female) recently had eye surgery. About a month ago, to correct the alignment of my eyes. Unfortunately, due to unpredictable circumstances, it did not go well, and the muscle in my brain attached to the wrong part of the eye. This has caused severe double vision, blurriness and extreme fatigue and pain. As well as this, my eye is not healing. The stitches aren't dissolving as they should, and my eyes are too inflamed (very visible blood in them.) I am getting a second surgery to correct this in April.Yesterday, bf and I were walking around with some kids we were babysitting. It was a steep hill, and really hot (summer in Australia), and I had spent all day studying for my course. Naturally, I was even more fatigued than usual and mentioned to him that I was struggling. I couldn't see curbs, was tripping on the road. He told me to "stop pulling the eye surgery card". While I know it must be hard on him too, and it is possible I have been complaining about it too much, I still think he should have more empathy instead of pushing me through the rest of the walk despite me telling him I was struggling.So, AITA? | AITA for complaining to bf about my eye surgery? | NTA |
10w8dy8 | Last year, I moved in with my friend. It has been a full year of planning for it, and she had assured me that she had a savings before we signed the lease just in case of emergencies so she could still cover her half. This was important to me because my last roommate (my ex) screwed me over by not paying any rent because he lost his job and never got another one. Anyways, I took her word for it because she was my friend and I trusted her—she knew what I'd been through before and told me she'd never put me in that position.Well, we sign the lease, pay the deposit, and move in. Then, first months rent rolls around and low and behold, she doesn't have the money for it. I was obviously shocked and pissed that she would lie to me and take advantage of me like that. I asked her where her savings had gone, and she told me "other important bills and Ubers to work." You're telling me this now?She finally gets me the money half way through the month, but it totally put me behind on bills and she only told me the day it was due. Rent from her comes on time until June. Once again, she doesn't have rent and only tells me the day of. I'm livid.Then, days later, she ends up in the hospital for a kidney infection. This obvi isn't her fault, but apparently, she had a kidney infection last year too, and had a temporary stint put in but never got it taken out or even set a doctors appt for it. She laughed while telling the nurses that she'd been peeing blood for the last two months and had passed a kidney stone. And you didn’t think to do anything about it? She's in and out of the hospital for the next few months, but she still works in between, she's fully mobile.But instead of getting rent to me late, she doesn't at all, doesn't even offer to pay what she can and doesn't even care when I bring it up to her. She's been slacking off on rent before the hospitalization, and now she just uses this to act like the victim, making tik toks joking about it one minute for attention, but as soon as I mention owing rent, she'll start crying, saying how could I ask her to pay when she's suffering, & that I need to "get in touch with reality" where people have "real problems." BFFR.Our apartment is expensive and I got so behind I told her she had to go if she couldn't get me rent and she told me I was cruel. Her mom texted me that I was an evil person. AlTA? | AITA for telling my roommate she’s using her hospitalization as an excuse to not pay me rent? | NTA |
10wmf2e | I am a disabled adult woman in my 20's currently living with my mother. I'm not yet at the point where I can go back to living on my own. We have a complicated relationship. A few days ago my pizza fell behind the freezer shelf while we argued about how to put it in the freezer. She told me to get down on the floor and get it out. I was wearing one of my few pairs of good pants and winter coat that I had just spent money washing, so I told her I'd just have to go change first. This furious look came over her face as I walked to go change. She stood physically blocking the exit so I couldn't, and kept telling me to go back and get the pizza in that quiet but angry, borderline hiss/growl voice women use with actual children. I went back to try to get it out again and managed to get it without getting on the floor, thankfully.All should have been over after that, but she said something else incendiary in that hiss voice. I don’t even remember what she said, but my response was, "Uh-huh", (in the annoyed typical American tone) because at that point I just wanted to get away from her and wanted the latest power trip to stop. She told me, "just for that, the only rooms in this house you're allowed in for a week are your bedroom and the kitchen to eat. No living room. And you can't ride in the car for a week. You're being prideful." My room is the smallest one in the house, not a comfortable place to be more than 2 or 3 hrs at a time outside of sleeping if you have issues with small, closed-in spaces. I told her I'm not a child and told her that she was the one being prideful having a power trip just because I said uh-huh; it's not like that's profanity, screaming, or throwing something. She told me it was the way I said it. I told her she was ridiculous for limiting me to my room for the week as a disabled adult over that. She told me I was the ridiculous one, and to shut up. I said, "Oh, so I can't say uh-huh in an annoyed way, but you get to say shut up and that's not prideful?" She said, "Yes, because you're not talking when I'm talking. This discussion is over. Byee." She kept saying bye, so I walked off muttering under my breath. I said, "A husband wouldn't get to do this to his disabled wife. An adult child or grandchild wouldn't get to do this to a disabled parent or grandparent. This is abusive." She didn't hear that part, but as I went in my room, I said "abuser." She misheard what I said and went, "Did she just call me a loser?" I opened my door and said, "No, I said abuser," and closed the door. She laughed and said, "Wow. Hm. I'm gonna have to TELLL someone about this." (She has a long history of taunting me with threats to talk about me to others in the congregation- male authority figures and other older women).Nothing else happened after that, although I am limited to my room and the kitchen. I don’t feel guilty for calling her an abuser, but should I feel guilty? Was what she did emotionally abusive, or did I overreact? | AITA for calling my mother abusive? | NTA |
10wke8q | I (33F) left my family’s restaurant in December after things were getting toxic. As soon as I left, my mom (52f and owner), started being really nice to my assistant/friend “Sara.” After a couple of weeks, things went back to normal and my mom started getting nasty with Sara. Sara calls me often to talk about what is going on. Well today I got a phone call from Sara saying that she quit today. She didn’t have a car at the moment and asked for me to pick her up because I was down the street. Needless to say, my mother found out that I picked Sara up and I just got a text saying “you have stopped to a new low. i have never been more disgusted in you than i am now. I am removing you from my will. You will never get another cent from me. “ I really didn’t think it was that big of a deal, just helping Sara get out because I have been on the receiving side of my moms outburst. So AITA for picking Sara up and taking her home? | AITA for helping my friend leave after quitting her job at my family’s restaurant? | NTA |
10w9tc9 | Throwaway accHi there, I just wanted to get some opinions here: My bf just showed me what he ordered for valentine's day. It's a black Teddy bear statue made out of plastic roses. It's kinda cute but he knows that I don't like useless gifts or clutter that just takes up space. I know it sounds really ungrateful. But it's just a waste of money (60€) in my eyes and space for something I won't like. :( He doesn't even have to buy me something. I just don't want any more useless stuff laying around...Should I keep it to myself and slowly move it to a place where it won't get in my peripheral vision or should I say that he should get a refund?Edit: as I'm getting a lot of "should've told him beforehand that I don't like that kind of present" Already did that *twice* for christmas and my bday | WIBTA if I asked my boyfriend to cancel his order for my valentines day gift | NTA |
10wm04p | My brothers (bro) kid (BS) need a place to stay and I just had a roommate move out. So after some promises of help in other way (fixing the roof and other stuff) i kept the rent the same at 500$ / month USD. even tho i could get a lot more its family and w/e. before moving in i go over the rules of the house (i live here and rent the two bedrooms so i have one renter (r) me and now my nephew in the house they share a bathroom) so first week nothing major other than reminding my nephew to clean his dirty dishes all the time (we cook individually so we would have to work around his mess or clean it for him which f that)second Friday arrives and my nephew isn't here when i wake up and doesn't return for a few day (hes an adult so idgaf) when he does return he has both of his children with him (hs3 and hs0.7) no call. no text. no information that he was returning with two children from him or my brother even tho they had been talking all day long. now let me mention i don't like kids. at 18 i got snipped so id never have kids. i do not have the tolerance or patience to raise or be around kids so i lost my shit a little bit when he says he has no choice. so my brother comes down the arrangement is that the kids will be with his wife most of the day (she doesn't know yet) and that during the evenings they would be with dad here in my home. FML​so 2 weeks go by and its hell on earth for me. screaming kids all night. dad screaming back. my home progressively getting destroyed and still reminding this grown man child to clean behind himself and now his two children. so after BS manages to screw Christmas up for everyone and loses the ability to have BRO wife watch his kids (long story) he takes them back to their fresh outta rehab mother and returns a few days later kids free... YAY!!!​so couple more weeks pass and still having to remind him almost every day to clean up behind himself. and again he vanishes on a Friday and returns with his kids the following Tuesday. again no call no text from either him or my brother. and now its been 2 more weeks with him and the kids in my house again reminding him every day to wash dishes, clean out the sink traps full of food he just dumps into the sink, clean the stove he trashes every time he uses it.​this brings us to now. i woke up today to him being gone. and the dishes from when i went to bed last night still in the sink with more from today. i lost my shit i called him a useless f... to both his face and my brother and said they need to figure something else out because i was done. now my brothers not taling to me and BS is stomping around my home mad at me... i feel like im losing my mind here and need an outside opinion. im here to answer questions but thats my story. so AITA or am i Justified? | AITA or is would u be mad too? | NTA |
10wq9iy | Please note that the prices reflect local price of labour but the currency's been changed. Also, English isn't my first language. Now, to the story.My bro (a cousin) and I rented a place where the front door's knob lock was in bad shape. After some time the lock became totally nonfunctional.So we went to a store and bought a new knob lock. About 100 yards from our flat, a lock serviceman saw the new lock in my hands, introduced himself and asked if we needed lock replacement service. We said, "Sure, follow us." without much thinking.So the guy came with us. We showed him the hole in our door where the old lock used to be, and asked him what he'd charge for the job. The guy demanded 5 pounds.Now, to say that bro and I were financially broke would be understatement. We were students. We both knew some trades as our family is full of engineers and mechanics, but had no licenses of our own (this will be important later). So we were struggling, juggling jobs and trying to make ends meet. But the market was down, and we were several months overdue in our rent alone. So, when we heard that the lock replacement service would require more than the lock itself, we both laughed hard.We told the guy that we would pay only 50 pence. Not only because the 5 pound demand was unpayable for us, but also because we "thought" we knew exactly how much labour is needed to put a lock into a door hole. The guy politely told us off for wasting his time. He left, and we were actually relieved that he didn't demand payment for coming along. We opened the lock box, and the first thing came out of it was a manual. Bingo! Bro read the manual, and realized that the job was even easier than we initially thought it was.Five minutes later, the new lock started it's duty. Alas, the lock serviceman couldn't know that, because when he returned after being gone for 8 minutes, he couldn't see it, as I stood in front of our door blocking the lock from view."Alright!" He said. "I'll do it for 50.""Do what for 50?" I asked."The lock. I'll replace it for 50."Now my bro said politely, "Sorry but we've already replaced it ourselves." He hauled my ass from the front of the door to show the lock guy our handiwork.The guy just said, "Oh!" and left the building.I feel bad about the incident. Maybe that guy needed those 50 pence. In hindsight, we did something wrong by not negotiating the job earlier and bringing him along.So, what's your opinion Reddit? Were we the assholes? | AITA for bringing someone along for a job but not hiring due to price? | NTA |
10wcfpp | So, I was at work and one of my coworkers was making an insensitive comment about the recent event in Turkey saying “ah what happened in Turkey was so great right!?”. In the heat of the moment I made a remark, saying "with God's help, it should happen to you too". He got very upset and told me I shouldn't speak up when I wasn't asked to. He always just yells out random racist shit and hates when I call him out. (I also do not believe in god but I know he does)I now realize that my comment was inappropriate because I did Linda curse him, I don’t feel too bad but I also keep thinking about it. I don't want to cause any trouble at work, but at the same time I don't want to just let people make comments like that without saying anything.So, AITA for what I said? | AITA for making a insensitive comment at work? | NTA |
10wania | Hi everyone. First time poster and on mobile so please ignore small mistakes. I’m a high functioning Aspy so I’m hoping I’m not missing some obvious social cues here 👀​I’m a Senior Postdoc in a university biology lab. I have been here for just over 3 years now. Everyone in our lab works as a team regardless of job and this usually works very well. Our lab has two assigned offices, one that seats 3 and one that seats 5. Our desks are assigned so no desk sharing. I have been at the same desk since starting this job. Everyone except for me also has designated lab space to carry out experiments. I’m a data scientist so all of my work is desktop computer based. I share this office with two other Postdocs.​Last week, I was at a meeting and when I returned, I was told our office was being used for a virtual meeting by two PhD students. The PhDs circulated an email asking if “(we) were in our office” about 15 min before showing up. As I was in a different meeting, I did not see this nor have time to respond. I was told that the two PhD students then arrived at our office with their laptops and coffees and proceeded with their meeting.​I was waiting for about 45 min in their office for them to finish. When they got back, I tried to explain that I wasn’t happy with the situation as my entire work bench was inaccessible. Their office was not being used as all others were at their lab benches. One of the PhDs then laughed at me (derisively) while telling me “it’s not just your office it’s the lab’s office”. When I rebutted that with “if you’re in my space, it’s the equivalent of me taking your lab bench”, they told me that neither of their headphone jacks worked so they needed our office to use loudspeaker. They also told me that I should have just moved them out of the office. I told them that I wasn’t happy and to wait for a response in future. Afterwards, I sent an email to the entire lab (with the PI copied) asking people to not use my space unless they ask and I get time to respond.​When telling them I wasn’t happy, I did not raise my voice. I eat lunch with everyone on a daily basis and I genuinely do like them so I did not want to cause friction.​I did not enter our office during their meeting to move them as their projects are part of a consortium, and if meeting many people, I assumed this would be unprofessional on my behalf and embarrassing on their behalf (and our PIs behalf). There are two meeting rooms that can be reserved for virtual calls just down the hall. Neither of them were in use.​I received a sharpish email from our PI this morning wishing to discuss what had happened. All PhDs have weekly meetings on Mondays so I’m guessing this was discussed.​AITA here or did I handle this poorly? I did not pass this up to the PI as I assumed this was a small issue and had considered it dealt with once I sent the email. | AITA for asking my coworkers not to use my space without asking? | NTA |
10wg59w | My manager is retiring. The job listing for his position is on the HR "Job Listings" page. I'm sure it's on Indeed or ZipRecruiter as well. I'd like to take the position. The company has to make the job listing public for a certain amount of time for whatever legal reasons. My manager thinks I'll be great for the job. Here's my moral/ethical problem: Whoever posted the job on the HR site did a bad job of it. The position I want has no title. The first paragraph is left over from a different position we've already filled. The jump button at the top of the page that lists the different departments does not jump for my division. I could point all this out, but that might mean that someone scanning the page would have a better chance of finding it. It might be the person who is best suited to take the position, who would be better for the company.AITH for keeping my mouth shut? | AITA for not pointing out the mangled job listing on my employer's website because I want the job? | NTA |
10wlrt7 | I (16F) have a rocky relationship with my parents. They both come from bad homes so we're sort of learning as they parented me. I mostly raised myself and went through the process of learning to drive and getting my first job completely on my own. I've always provided for myself beyond my basic needs, and have bought all my own clothes and such since I've gotten a job.It's important to know some background for the story.1) I've been forced into using a barely functional bathroom since I was around 10. As in rust, some mold, half usable sink and a shower that's completely broken.2) I spent 6 years waiting for renovations to be done to the bathroom, ones that were promised would be done multiple times. No changes have been made since I began using it. I got over wanting a better bathroom last year and stopped asking.3) my parents have a very nice, finished bathroom. It's the nicest room in the house and has heating and cooling.4) My parents have begun discussing making renovations to the house in addition to buying my mom a car while I get her old one.Tonight I was at one of my sports practices and my dad was talking about me learning to drive and getting my permit soon to the other parents. I used this as an opening to ask him when we would possibly be getting a new car for my mom and when I'd be able to drive myself places. His reaction was saying that I could either have a new bathroom or a new car. This conversation continued into a cafe where we were going to grab dinner. He said this in a serious tone and I explained that I'd rather have a car that would last me through college then a bathroom for a year and a half.My dad cut me off and began explaining how he planned to renovate the bathroom and things he was looking into. I explained that what he had in mind wasn't what I'd want. (like he wants to fully redo the shower with glass and I'd like to keep it the same just make it workable with a new curtain). He cut me off again and explained that we would be doing my bathroom his way when he wanted it and that he'd be doing it himself. I became upset and stopped talking, I didn't have the appetite to finish my food. He spent the rest of the meal rambling about how bad my timing was and that I should just be thankful for the renovation.He must've texted my mom because when she got home she was mad at me. She said I should be happy with any renovations in the first place and that I shouldn't purposely upset my dad. I'll admit sometimes I do antagonize him but I have no idea what I did in this scenario. I've been trying to figure out what I did wrong for a few hours because I just want us to stop fighting. | AITA For Arguing With My Dad? | YTA |
10wlqaj | My dad and I have been arguing/fighting a lot. I’m 17F and a senior in high school. Our relationship which is normally very good has been rocky because of the fights. They’re over stupid stuff usually like college apps and hanging out with my friends. I honestly don’t know why we keep fighting so much but ever since I started senior year it’s been so constant.At dinner yesterday again we had a big fight. Again it was over stupid stuff. It blew up and then my dad told me to go to my room and took away my car keys. I gave him the silent treatment today and got a ride to school with my friend. While my friend was driving me to her house after school my dad sent me this text.“Hey [name]. I know you’re still upset about what happened yesterday night and I want to explain my side. I felt disrespected and hurt by what you said and by your name calling. Especially in front of [little brother’s name]. I know I didn’t react perfectly to the situation. I’d like you not to say things to me in the spirit of anger meant just to hurt me because it is devastating to hear. Can you see why I am upset too about last night?”I honestly did not know what to reply to this message and i was also very annoyed by it because 1) there was no apology at all about his part in the fight other than his acknowledgement of not reacting “perfectly” 2) it sounded like he just wanted me to apologize and admit that all of it was my fault. Which it was not. My friend and I were also in the middle of a convo so I replied with a thumbs-up emoji to acknowledge that I got his message and read it.2 hours later my dad sent me an angry text about how my thumbs up emoji reply was rude and dismissive and when I replied ‘?’ he told me to forget it.My friend dropped me off at my house and my dad is being short with me. It suits me fine since I think he’s an AH I’d rather not talk to but I don’t get why he’s so angry. I didn’t have time to draft up a long letter to him in reply nor did I know what to say nor did I even want to engage with him in text. He should be grateful I replied instead of just ignoring it? AITA for replying with the thumbs-up? | AITA for “thumbs-upping” my dad as a reply to his text? | YTA |
10wpp6r | I just made a post like 22 hours ago and I’m making another one because I feel guilty over a lot of things that may not be on me and I need an opinion that isn’t biased against me or with me.Like in my previous post I’m 14F. I have had a very difficult past 3 years like most kids but definitely amplified as I was dealing with more than a pandemic. For reference some of the things that have happened to me are my parents separating and then 5 days later everything shuts down due to COVID. Started at a new school, 2 of my grandparents died, got a new stepdad and 3 step siblings from him along with two step siblings in law and a nephew set to be born in the next 2 weeks. A new stepmom and 2 other step siblings. I got very depressed and dealt with other mental health issues. Also my dad isn’t a great guy and I came to that realization about 2 years agoI try to talk to my mom about how I’m feeling and she always tries to interrupt or guilt me. She tried to solve my problems in an almost insensitive way instead of just letting me talk to her. I understand she wants to help me but it really doesn’t and I’ve expressed that. I’m not skinny and I’m not conventionally attractive whatsoever. I struggle with self image and binge eating. I’m also ADHD and life has just been a lot lately. I don’t get to see my therapist very often (every other week) which leads to me needing to talk to someone in between. She makes me feel bad for talking to her and it’s really bothering me (along with almost everything else in my life but that’s whatever). I’m just wondering if I’m the problem and just can’t see it because I think I’ve had that problem in the past. | AITA for trying to vent my feelings to my mom | NTA |
10wnua8 | My husband (31M) and me (30F) have been married for 7 years and honestly really enjoy each other and rarely fight. We have a grand vision of how we want to build our lives and both know it will take hard work to get there. But... his lack of work ethic (or our mismatch of work ethic?) is driving me bananas...I currently have 2 full-time jobs and tbh... I'm crushing both of them. I get great feedback from both of my bosses and while I have a lot of meetings I manage my busy schedule well. In addition to two full-time corporate jobs, I am also getting my master's degree at a top university. Additionally, with my second income, I have been using the money to bootstrap and build a side business that needs a lot of capital upfront, but I have been able to be completely solo so far. I have a clear understanding of the hard work needed to get to our future and am doing everything I possibly can to get us there ASAP.My husband currently works a great job, and he is also crushing it. He gets promoted almost yearly and I can see that he is valuable to his company. He is also way too smart for his job and when he sits down to work he can crank out a week of work in 2 hours. (The kind of natural smart who got 90% percentile on the LSAT without studying...)He's just not a goal-oriented person and doesn't actively work toward making the most of his time. He rarely starts work before 10am (& is done by 3pm for a job that takes his coworkers 10+hours a day), he has maybe 1 meeting a day, but he spends sooo much time on his phone & video games. For more than 6 months he has talked about starting an Etsy shop, but never does a single thing to make it happen. I will note since my 2nd job, he does do more of the household day-to-day like laundry, but we have a cleaner 2x a month (that I schedule) and I still do all the family social planning etc.I've repeatedly asked him for help with my side business as I know he will be incredibly helpful and his response is "I don't have time". It's frustrating to me that I feel like I am the only one working towards our grand future, and while I have his emotional support (I know he is proud of me), I don't feel like he is utilizing his full potential for our family.AITA for feeling so frustrated by his lack of motivation & effort? | AITA for being frustrated with my husband's lack of work ethic? | YTA |
10wnpsd | I am dropping off my daughter(5yo) at gymnastics, parking lot is full but people are leaving as it’s between classes. I park in the first spot which is directly across from the entrance to gymnastics. I get my daughter out and start to walk across the parking lot, a truck pulls up behind me and the guy in the truck says I’m parked in his spot for his business. I say ok but I’m just dropping my daughter off and I’ll be right back, he said he will block me in and I said ok I’ll be right back. I come back not even 5 minutes later and he has blocked me in(I expected) but he is not in his truck so at this point I’m just like whatever I’ll just stay and he’ll probably move before I leave since more spots open up. 1 hour and 20 minutes go by and he is still blocking me in and I can’t get out. I walk out there and first thing I look for is if there is a no parking sign, there is one but off to the side. Not directly in front of the spot. I honestly didn’t even see it when I pulled in. I go up to the business door and ask him if he can move his truck and he said sorry I’m busy. I said “seriously, I have my daughter” then he says “so it’s a priority for me to move my truck now but it wasn’t a priority for you to move yours when I asked” after a quick back and forth of really not much worthy content, he moved his truck. | AITA, Dropping off my daughter at gymnastics | YTA |
10wrhcx | Some backstory: I (28F) met me boyfriend, Draco (29M) about a year and a half ago when we met a a job we worked at in different departments. I no longer work there but he still does and I'm close with the people who work in the department I worked in, even the new people. He lives with me now, and has his own key to our apartment. He is the only person aside from me that has a key. A few months ago, he told me that one of the people in the department I worked, Rayna (28F), that I knew and was friends with outside of him, was living out of her car. Being as it's winter, it made me feel bad for her and I offered her my couch for her stay.One thing about Rayna is that she's had a lot of issues that won't go into a lot of details about, but most of which revolves around her boyfriend, Brady (29?M). I've been patient with it for the most part but it's a very obvious toxic relationship on both parts, mostly his but I only have her side to go off of, so I can't say for sure.However, as a little side note, Brady was into me for a while before I got with Draco. Once Draco and I got together, he resented us both. This is kind of important if you're reading the whole thing. He didn't want to talk to either of us and gave us both the cold shoulder basically because I reacted him for my own reasons.Anwyay, Rayna has been staying with Draco and I on and off for a while, and the nights she doesn't stay with us, sometimes she takes Draco's key. The first time she did this, she didn't even come back. The second time, she came back super late and my dogs flipped out.I talked with her about this both times stating I wasn't okay with it because I have neighbors within a close vicinity and always actively try to not disturb them.The third time, she came back late but made sure to leave Draco's key because he needed to work early and I like to be sure both of my locks are locked. I was okay with this and felt that she was making an active effort.Tonight, she took his key and I asked she make sure he has it back tonight so he doesn't stress about not having it tomorrow. She ensured she would. That was as 10-11 PM. It is now 3:30 AM with no word from her. | AITA for not wanting my house guest to do whatever they want? | NTA |
10wp8yi | Long story short, May said she was "done wrong " by her friends husband the morning after they hung out and drank (she slept over). She said she woke up to some aggressive behavior while May was outside smoking. May told her friend (Bay) what happened, who talked to her husband. May got a text from the husband saying he was too drunk to know what he was doing and would never do that. Based on what May told me, I very much think he knew just didn't think he would get exposed. Either way Bay stopped taking to May and pretended like nothing happened/had a small disagreement. Now Bay wants to go out for coffee because she misses her best friend and is sad. May is contemplating the meet up, but I said screw this, either she believes you or him. And if Bay is still with him, she thinks May is lying, or she needs May to validate her choice to stay with him. I said, "Mess everything up and throw the friendship away" but maybe I was too hard? | AITA for telling my friend to NC with that friendship | INFO |
10wp27m | I(21m) met a girl(21f) at my work. For some context, I've never been in a relationship or even had a girlfriend, so I may not be the best at picking up non verbal communications in that regard but am far from being socially inept or disconnected. After a couple days of seeing and talking with her, I asked her for her number and if she'd ever like to hang out outside of where I work She said she was down but did let me know right off the bat that she has a boyfriend. Obviously that wasn't what I wanted to hear but given that I practically have no friends I genuinely was okay with just hanging out as pals Anyway, time goes on, we've hung out a couple times, grabbed lunch, went on a hike, worked out together. I obviously still think she's cute and like her, that didn't change, but was under the impression that those feelings were not mutual, which is honestly fine with me! Yes I thought she was cute when I asked her if she wanted to hang out, no I did not kick her to the curb when she was and turned out to have a bf... should I have? The problem I have now is I'm confused. She's telling me she has a boyfriend but goes out of her way to make time to hang out with me. I told her the other day I was sick and she was pretty much like, I don't care let's still kick it. She has always talked to me in a manner that is not reflective of her having a boyfriend, which I didn't think much of until someone mentioned to me today, "doesn't she have a boyfriend?". I said yeah what's the problem, we're just talking. "Well she's not talking to you like she has a boyfriend" I have not directly asked about her boyfriend, because I honestly didn't care, but it is starting to make me feel a little slimey as I spend more time with her. She asked me the other day, "don't you think its weird I have a boyfriend?" And I somehow didn't quite understand that was her trying to bring it up and quickly replied with, "no I don't think that's weird, you can have a boyfriend if you'd like" Idk, I'm confused. It feels like I've done nothing wrong but I do see how things look and wanted to make sure I wouldn't be way out of line to say something like, "hey you're really cool and I do enjoy hanging out with you, but it just feels like I am stepping over the line with this whole boyfriend thing, what does he think of us hanging out?" | AITA for hanging out with girl who has a bf, but really wants to hang out with me? | NTA |
10wc1hb | My (26F) husband (26M) has a 7-5 job and works out of the house M-F, I am a SAHM to a 2.5yo and a 6mo. Tonight my husband and I got into an argument because I “snapped” at him. The argument occurred because my 2.5yo has created a habit of getting out of her bed when she’s put down for naps or bed. Before when she would do this, we wouldn’t react or come to get her right away we would simply wait a few minutes and she would return to her room and go to sleep. However, within the last week she hasn’t been returning to bed. She will either stand at the top of the stairs waiting for us, yell for us, or she will open every door upstairs looking for us. This has become an issue as her 6mo sister also sleeps upstairs and when she yells or opens all the doors it wakes her up. Tonight about 30 minutes after we put her down for bed, she was up. We have a security camera in her room so my husband pulled up the feed and was watching. I looked over and told him he would most likely need to go get her, he stated he was waiting for her to return to her room, to which I said “she doesn’t do that anymore”. He ignored me and kept watching the feed, I again reiterated “she doesn’t do that anymore”. After a few more moments and realizing he wasn’t going to get up I was frustrated and said “fine I’ll go get her”. This set him off. He told me he was tired of my shitty attitude and the way I talk to him. He stormed upstairs and told me he wasn’t coming back down and he didn’t want to see me anymore. Once we both cooled off a bit I tried asking him why he was so mad, he said I yell at him all the time and don’t allow him to make parenting decisions. He said I snapped at him and he didn’t deserve to be talked to that way. I will admit I was frustrated in the moment and my tone may not have been very kind, but I personally think I was justified in my frustration. So AITA for snapping at my husband? | AITA for snapping at my husband? | YTA |
10woqkm | My ex-friend (let’s call her Tara) has 2 children, a *now* 7-year old daughter and a 4 year old daughter. I have been very present in their lives and cultivated a beautiful relationship with them as their auntie. Tara & I had been friends (on&off) for 15 years. Her selfish attitude never sat right with me, and when I addressed it usually led to a fall out. But when I found out she was having a kid, my tolerance for her ways grew immensely and I rarely addressed her about them anymore because of my relationship with her kids. That mattered to me more than anything. The past 6.5 years have been all about Tara & her children. Her child’s father is a piece of shit, so I showed up as much as I could for them. I’m talking weekly movie nights, emergency contact at schools, showing up to events when Tara couldn’t (and always front and center with her if she could) etc. I usually have an uneventful life and rarely need support, so I just assumed that Tara would show up for me if I ever needed her. Boy was I wrong. Last year, my mom got sick with cancer. Over the course of 5 months, I watched my superhero become frail and weak. She died in my arms. And that’s when I realized how one-sided my “friendship” with Tara was. She was barely a friend to me during that time, so I distanced myself. For the first time during our friendship that I truly needed her support - I realized that if wasn’t about her or her children, it didn’t matter to her. After months of contemplation, therapy and learning that I deserve reciprocity, I ended the friendship. I knew that I would now have to grieve my mom & my relationship with those beautiful children since they aren’t old enough for me to have a relationship with them with minimal contact with Tara. I hadn’t gotten around to blocking everyone, and on her daughters 7th birthday - her daughter FaceTimed me. I was asleep and woke up to the missed call and burst into tears. My therapist and I both agreed that calling back would do more harm than good for my healing, but a mutual friend of mine recently called me a big AH because the daughter has nothing to do with it… and now, I’m questioning myself so I figured i’d ask Reddit. AITA? | AITA for not calling my ex-friend’s daughter back on her birthday? | NTA |
10w7rco | So my mums dryer hasn't been working properly for a while now, yesterday I was told this guy would come around to fix it around 7 to 11am now my whole family was gone by 8.30 maybe 9 ish ,I figured setting my alarm to 9 am would be enough , nope this guy shows up at 8.50 am ten minutes later I would of been up and ten mins before my family would if been home but no , he didn't call my mum untill after he said he was leaving, if mum had called me because he needed in I would of woken up but he didn't and now my mum is mad at me for bit being up and us needing to reschedule the appinment aita for ni t being awake ?IMPORTANT EDIT: I wasn't aware of the time he could show up I was just told he would show up before 11 , that is how I thought this conversation went but my mother's swaers she said 7 to 11 so I don't know if my brain is just blocking that out | AITA because I wasn't awake when they handyman showed up? | YTA |
10w7bwt | I (17m) have never been one to want to go to church (although I am a Christian). Recently, old family friends reached out to me on social media, and we talked for a little bit. They said I should come with them to church sometime, and when I told them “No thank you, church isn’t my thing. I appreciate the invitation,”. The husband (let’s call him Tyler, not his real name but I will not be giving out any names), seemed offended and said, “You would think differently if you were to attend church,”. I brought up to him that my friend (let’s call him Harvey) is an atheist, and hates church. Tyler said “Well your friend needs to have someone show him Jesus,”I got annoyed, and didn’t contact Tyler for a month. Then Tyler asked me “Have you found a church yet? You should come with us,”. I told him to stop talking about church, as I don’t want to go to one. Then Tyler started saying I need baptized to accept Jesus as my savior, and to start going to youth group, and told me to go to church with him and his wife. I told him to shut up, and to stop talking about church, and the following week he invited me over to dinner. I said okay, and blocked him on social media ( I never showed up). | AITA for telling old family friends to shut up about me not going to church? | NTA |
10wfb83 | So I (22m) was going with three of my buddies (also all my age) to “Jen’s” (22f) apartment. For context I don’t know Jen’s but she’s one of my good friends’ close friends and she told him he could bring us over. Jen lives alone. So in our city there’s a popular day for day drinking and me and my two buddies headed to her place to play drinking games for a few hours before hitting up the bar. Pretty early into a game of beer pong Jen accidentally knocked some cups over me and the other friend she didn’t know. It kinda soaked our pants in beer and made us look kind of ridiculous when we had planned on going out. We assured her it was fine (she was hosting us after all) and planned to Uber back the fifteen minutes to my place to change and then come back. She was so apologetic and told us that that wasn’t necessary and she could wash them here and then they’d be ready by the time we went out. I asked her if she had a towel or a pair of pants I could wear to cover myself and she said nothing that would fit and it’s not a big deal. She asked if we had boxers on and my buddy said yes and I think I said “well I have underwear on, yea” and she told us it wasn’t a big deal to her to see some guys in boxers and had us put our pants in the wash. My friend was wearing boxer briefs and I was wearing briefs (if someone isn’t familiar with the difference between those and boxers ask in the comments and I’ll do my best to explain) so I guess neither of us were actually wearing boxers (they were dark colored if that makes a difference). She didn’t say anything and put our pants in the wash and we went back to playing but now two of us had no pants. Between washing and drying it was probably an hour (estimating) before we got our pants back. Jen was kind of drunk at this point and when she took our pants out she looked at me and said “now you won’t be so pervy looking anymore.” I was embarrassed and said I thought she said it was okay. She said she thought I had been wearing “normal guy underwear.” It was kind of awkward and I ended up ubering home while everyone else went out. AITA? | AITA for not specifying I wear briefs before taking my pants off? | NTA |
10wohad | For context it will be my brother’s 16th birthday in a few days and what he wanted for his gift is a paid trip to Disneyland for him and his gf. My dad agreed to pay for the whole thing for him and his gf, tickets, food and other stuff. My dad asked me if I can give them a ride to Disneyland on a Monday but I said no because I have two classes that day in the morning. He’s just begging me saying “come one do this one favor for me” and at first I was actually considering it but my brother is an asshole to me and now he wants me to take him to Disneyland which is a 2 hr trip! My dad can’t take him because our dad doesn’t live with us he lives far away, and my dad doesn’t want to be asking my mom for favors since they’re divorced. Now my dad is saying that I’m going to ruin my brothers birthday because I won’t skip 1 day of class to take him to Disneyland. It’s not that I don’t want to skip class, I’m actually ahead in my classes and can afford to miss 1 day, it’s just that my brother treats me so badly and now he’s asking me for a favor??For context I ask my brother “how’s your day going” and he tells me to get out of his face and to stop talking to him. I told my brother that I won’t be taking him and now he’s threatening me saying that he’s going to spit on my food when I’m not looking and spit on the water bottles I take to school.I know he’s young and all but I still feel that doesn’t excuse his behavior. Whenever I tell my parents how he treats me they just say “oh he’s just at that age rn” I’m sick of hearing that excuse! Now my dad is bribing me saying that he will do one payment for my car note if I take him. I am more than capable to pay for my car and it just annoys me that my dad is bribing me to take my brother when he won’t simply just talk to my brother and ask him why he treats me like dirt. | AITA for not giving my brother a ride to Disneyland? | NTA |
10w6odt | I have a couple of friends that are self-proclamed foodies. Everything that they consume must be the very best, with locally sources ingredients, high-cost materials, etc. You get the picture.I am a cook/baker, but I've never claimed to be good at it. I've cooked for them a few times, and always, they critique it as though I am some hopeful on Bake-off or some such show. Despite how cruel their remarks can be, they insist that they do this with everyone, and I shouldn't take it personally. I have stopped inviting them over, or even discussing cooking with them. Basically ghosting them. I am also from a culture that is often mocked in mainstream media, so sometimes, I like to make recipes from a set of recipes that remind me of my grandmother's cooking. This couple, the husband in particular, LOVE to appropriate and pretend that they love my culture while simultaneously making jokes about it. Recently, I posted a recipe that I want to make passed down from my grandmother, which was passed from her mother and so on. The husband sees it, and offers to buy the ingredients so that I can make it, with the implication that I will share. I ignore him. He buys the ingredients, and now expects me to make this for he and his wife, and I'm positive they will be rude about this simple recipe that honestly, a lot of people don't care for. It's a recipe that you kind of have to grow up eating to enjoy, so I'm positive that they won't like it. Am I being a paranoid A-hole, or is this a sincere try to reconcile? | AITA It's not a cooking show!? | NTA |
10whfhs | Backstory: I've been with my gf for 10+ years, we have a son (3) and another on the way soon.We have a 8 year old dog that has been with us since pup and recently (2ish years ago) we adopted an older (5ish) cat.My GF was a big advocate for getting the cat shortly after we got our son.First year everything was alright, but the past year or so, she's been getting more and more frustrated with the cat, because of it walking in places it shouldn't - mainly the kitchen table and below our bed.It's getting to the point where she's talking about having it put down, which I think is plain wrong.The cat is really gentle and doesn't scratch or bite anything she shouldn't, she will let the kid carry it around (although trying to avoid him it seems).Our dog on the other hand is a small dog, very reserved. He makes sure to let our son know when he's getting too close, mainly by growling.He has however on two occasions actually bit him. Not enough to break skin, but enough to leave a mark for some time.These things happen when the kid starts running around and suddenly changes direction and chases the dog or even strikes out at it.This has gotten to the point where she's talking about putting down both pets - or she's talking about leaving me and taking the kid(s) with her after I called her cynical and I told her couldn't understand she'd do that to our pets.She's been threatening that I wouldn't be able to stop her when I'm at work one day.So the question, AITA here for trying to stick up for the pets to not have them put down? | AITA for calling my pregnant girlfriend cynical? | NTA |
10wqjfu | Thought I had already made up my mind in this but can't sleep and keep thinking about it and thought I should ask the internet. am I the asshole for abandoning my father? Growing up he always had this "violence is never the answer" mindset and I always admired that up until the point I became an adult and realized he didn't mean it in that way. To put it bluntly my dad is an extreme pushover guess you'd call it. You could hit him, yell at him, hit and run, steal, etc. And he still wouldn't do anything about it. He refuses to stand up for himself. I won't say what I think about that because you really don't want to know but almost since day one of me realizing it I was there fixing things for him. At first I didn't care, didn't like people getting away with crap but eventually it got annoying as hell. In more recent times it has been discovered someone close to dad has been stealing from him. Dad has refused to do anything about it and like always I get a call from mom telling me about it and that I should do something about it. That's when I told her I didn't give a crap anymore. He clearly doesn't care about his own money so why should I? In general at this point I'm exhausted of having to be the one to stand up for his father when he doesn't even want. Moms like "so you're really just going to let this go? Don't you feel bad?" I do but I have my own life I can't be there every time an injustice is committed and the person has no interest in defending himself. I have absolutely no idea what else to say about it. | AITA for "abandoning" my father? | NTA |
10wqjb9 | AITA for refusing to sign "company policy" update forms when they clearly change the terms of my employment duties?So (M38) I've been working for this company for ten years, and they've done this kind of thing a few times now. Early in my career I was more willing to let things slide (late paychecks, manager overreach/micromanagement) because I was young and eager, but as of late I'm starting to feel the burnout from the day to day grind and I'm looking for my way out of the "rat race" that is lower middle class existence. I see the kids these days taking to their phones and I see people making money doing silly things on either Twitch or TikTok, so I decided it would be foolish to remain under the rock. I build band instruments for a living, which is an interesting thing to watch, and figure I'd do well and it would be worth a shot.....if my streams aren't successful I've wasted an hour or so, no big deal.....So I approach the manager, who's also a friend of mine, and I tell him "I'd like to shoot some streaming videos at the shop if that's OK, it'll never affect my workload." Dude agrees as long as I don't use the name of the store or the names of any of our customers, perfectly reasonable. I should have gotten this in writing......A year later it's finally taking off. I have a decent following and can finally go live on TikTok and accept gifts! All this hard work is finally paying off, or so I thought.Couple weeks later I get a company memo forbidding the use of video streaming services, now we're only allowed to use our phones for music or texting. I talk to that same manager about this and was immediately given the talk about how my productivity could be higher if I wasn't always on my phone. I refuse to sign the memo as I've never missed a deadline unless it was crazy unreasonable, and I'm now accused of "not being a team player."I'm not sure what they're thinking here, but I'm sure it's because they didn't for a second think I'd go viral hard enough for it to make a difference. I'm from the camp where if you're going to ask me to do more work you're going to offer me more money, but was told they would not pay me more money just to not fiddle with my phone so much.Am I the @$$hole for refusing to sign this? | AITA Boss Changes their Mind | NTA |
10wo24z | I (f29) am a fully functional potty trained adult (with ADHD). I am living with my wonderful fiancé(m28) and we are getting married this year after living and dating for many years prior.I have a problem where once or twice a month I forget to flush after I go #1. He is always great about putting the seat down, so it’s all the more embarrassing for me. When I have done it, he ALWAYS makes a comment that I forget to flush. I want to be better, but in the meantime AITA and do I need to be concerned? | AITA for leaving pee in the toilet | NAH |
10wm5vu | For context me and my fiance are staying at her mom's house. They have 3 dogs who all only eat human food. I don't agree with this, but there is no changing their mind... Tonight after a long days work I made a sandwich for myself for dinner. That's it, just one sandwich nothing else to go with it. The rest of the family was eating fish, but I couldn't have that sense I'm allergic. After I made my sandwich and stood to eat in the kitchen sense the table was full, they started saying. Oh this dog loves sandwiches. Give her some. I was like uh, this is my dinner I'm not sharing my whole one sandwich with a dog. It's all I made to eat. They kept pressing me to give the dog my sandwich so I ended up giving her 3/4 of my sandwich because I just didn't want to argue anymore. Now I have nothing left to make for dinner and I'm just gonna go to bed hungry. They think I'm an asshole because I didn't want to share my food with the dog. So, am I the asshole? | AITA For not wanting to share my sandwich with the dog? | NTA |
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