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“What about it?” “It’s a bit stereotypical, isn’t it?” said the dwarf. “I mean, it’s a bit dwarfs = miners. I don’t see why we have to be type-cast like this all the time. ” “But most dwarfs are miners,” said Soll desperately. “Well, OK, but they’re not happy about it,” said another dwarf. “And they don’t sing the whol... |
They had absolute privacy. No one was going to bother to watch them with a rip-snorter of a row going on a few yards away. “Er,” said Ginger. Her fingers twisted among themselves. Victor couldn’t help noticing that the nails were worn down. “Er,” she said again. Her face was a picture of anguish, and pale under the mak... |
He’d lain awake all night thinking about this. Then, in the first light of dawn, he scratched a few designs on the hut wall with a stick and got to work. He had taken the opportunity to look at a few mousetraps while he was in the town, and they were definitely less than perfect. They hadn’t been built by hunters. Now ... |
“I thought it was all a special kind of magic,” he said, a shade disappointed. “Now you tell me it’s just a big Find-the-Lady game?” “Sort of. You see, people don’t actually see any one picture. They see a lot of them at once, see what I mean?” “Hey, I got lost at see there. ” “Every picture adds to the general effect.... |
They’d just heaped more sandbags around it. No one dared move it now. The Bursar tried to concentrate on his reading. “—can be estimated by the number and force—”…whumm… whumm WHUMM WHUMM. The Bursar found himself holding his breath. “—of the expelled pellets, which I estimate in serious disturbances—” Plib. “—may well... |
It was darkness and mother of darkness, darkness absolute, the darkness under the earth, darkness so dense as to be almost tangible, like cold velvet. “It’s bloody dark,” volunteered Gaspode. I’ve broken out into what they call a cold sweat, thought Victor. So that’s what it feels like. I’d always wondered. He eased hi... |
At least there had been no problems in the passage; if they kept to one wall and didn’t do anything stupid they couldn’t help but reach the door. And it must be dawn by now, which meant that it shouldn’t be long before they could see the light. Victor straightened up. This was pretty heroic, really. There hadn’t been a... |
We want the Blue Lias and—oh, bugger. ” It had suddenly dawned on him that he was going to be required to talk. And in public. You could spend ages carefully concealing your vocal abilities from people and then, bingo, you were on the spot and you had to talk. Otherwise young Victor and Cat Woman would be molderin’ dow... |
“We weren’t—” “Yes, it is!” said Victor, making furious signals with his hands and eyebrows. “It’s absolutely true! You’re absolutely right, Rock!” “Yeah,” said one of the trolls behind Rock. “I seen them on the clicks. He kissing her and carrying her off the whole time. ” “Now listen ,” Ginger began. “And now we get o... |
When five hundred crude two-elephant bobsleighs crested the ridge ten feet away at sixty miles an hour, their strappedon occupants trumpeting in panic, they never saw the yetis until they were right on top of them. Victor got only two hours’ sleep but got up feeling remarkably refreshed and optimistic. It was all over.... |
They’d even got as far as the University this time. The Librarian had one pinned up in the fetid, book-lined nest he called home 24 and various others were surreptitiously circulating among the wizards themselves. The artist had produced a masterpiece. Held in Victor’s arms, against the background of the flaming city, ... |
Cast iron, in fact, featured largely in its construction. Bits of baroque ironwork adorned its frame, which seemed to have been made of iron drainpipes welded together. The rear wheels did not in fact have blades affixed to them, but looked as though these were optional extras. There were various dread levers which onl... |
The only medicine they generally required was an antacid formula and a dark room until lunch. “Brought you something to read,” said the voice, diffidently. The Bursar managed to focus on the spine of Adventures with Crossbow and Rod. “Nasty knock you had there, Bursar. Been asleep all day. ” The Bursar looked blearily ... |
“Can’t you persuade her?” he said to Victor. “I’m not even sure I can persuade myself,” said Victor. “But you’ve spent days in front of these people,” said Dibbler. “No I haven’t,” said Ginger. “It was just you and the handlemen and the trolls and everyone. That was different. Anyway, that wasn’t really me,” she added.... |
“Then I’ll take Windle in,” he said quickly, turning to the others. “I’m afraid the rest of you had better get back to your honest trading. ” He moved his eyebrows up and down suggestively. “I don’t see why we should—” the Dean began. “Otherwise we’ll be in ar rears ,” the Chair went on, mugging furiously. “If you don’... |
There was a sudden roar of applause. The Patrician leaned sideways to Dibbler. “Why are all the lamps being turned down?” he said. “Ah, sir,” said Dibbler, “that is so you can see the pictures better. ” “Is it? One would imagine it would make the pictures harder to see,” said the Patrician. “It’s not like that with the... |
And in front of him were hundreds of people really believing what they were seeing… Victor scrabbled among the rubbish on Bezam’s bench for some scissors or a knife, and found neither. The machine whirred on, winding reality from the future to the past. In the background, he could hear Gaspode saying, “I expect I’ve sa... |
“There’s heaps of film in there!” Victor ripped a poster off the wall, wrapped it in a crude torch, and lit one end. “That’s what I’m going to burn,” he said. “’ Scuse me —” “Stupid! Stupid!” shouted Dibbler. “That stuff burns really fast! ” “’ Scuse me — “So what? I wasn’t intending to hang around in there,” said Vict... |
“Action!” No one saw where the horse came from. It was just there, leaping over the heads of the crowd. It was white, with lots of impressive silver work on the bridle. Victor swung up into the saddle as it cantered past, then made it rear impressively so that it pawed the air. He drew a sword which hadn’t been there a... |
It moved uneasily, fighting against the forces of reality that tugged at it. It flickered as it tried to maintain the shape it had climbed into the world with, so that images of Ginger alternated with glimpses of something that writhed and coiled. It needed magic. It eyed Victor and the sword, and if it was capable of ... |
They’ve got no real shape in this world. It has to spend too much time holding itself together. The more it has to concentrate on me, the less it can concentrate on not falling to bits. An assortment of mismatched eyes extended from various bits of the Thing. As they focused on Victor they crinkled with angry bloodshot... |
Its axle glowed red-hot. It was full of people screaming at one another. One of them was turning a handle on a box. It was so overburdened that wizards occasionally fell off and ran along after it, shouting, until they had a chance to jump on again and start screaming. Whoever was attempting to steer was not succeeding... |
” He nodded at the Dean and hurried back to Ginger and the Librarian. He gave the ape a worried look. Technically the Librarian was a wizard—at least, when he’d been human he was a wizard, so presumably he still was. On the other hand, he was also an ape, and a handy man to have around in an emergency. He decided to ri... |
Sound came back quickly and in vast quantities, as though it had been dammed up somewhere and had then suddenly been released, to slosh joyfully back into the world and drown every eardrum. Booong. Click. The giant figure on the slab sat upright slowly, dust cascading off it in slow streams. Underneath it was gold, unt... |
Ruby sighed. Well, so much for the human way. She picked up a chair and hit him scientifically over the head with it. A smile spread across his face, and he slumped forward. She picked him up easily and slung him over her shoulder. If Ruby had learned anything in Holy Wood, it was that there was no use in waiting aroun... |
Funny thing is, I thought I was onto something this time. I really thought that this time we were on the way to a new, clear future…” “What are you going to call it?” said Peavie. “Oh, I don’t know. It’s probably not worth naming,” said Silverfish. “Ankhmorporkery? Silverfishium? Notleadium?” said Peavie. “Uselessium, ... |
Brilliant!” A. S. Bryant “Offers more entertainment per page than anything this side of Wodehouse. ” Washington Post Book World “Simply the best humorous writer of the twentieth century. ” Oxford Times “A brilliant storyteller with a sense of humor…. The Dickens of the twentieth century. ” Mail on Sunday (London) “As a... |
” Table of Contents Begin Reading About the Author Outstanding Acclaim for TERRY PRATCHETT BOOKS BY TERRY PRATCHETT Copyright About the Publisher Terry Pratchett THE TRUTH A Novel of Discworld ® Contents Begin Reading Author’s Note About the Author Praise Other Books by Terry Pratchett Copyright About the Publisher B... |
The difference between that and the easy way is that the hard way works. The dwarfs dwarfhandled their overloaded, creaking cart along the street, peering ahead in fog. Ice formed on the cart and hung from their beards. All it needed was one frozen puddle. Good old Dame Fortune. You can depend on her. The fog closed in... |
Both of them watched the departing coach as it disappeared into the snow. The smaller of the two figures said, “Well, well, well. There’s a fing. Man all bundled up and hooded. An interesting fing, eh?” The taller figure nodded. It wore a huge old greatcoat several sizes too big, and a felt hat that had been reshaped b... |
Cheese, who was thin, dry, and only smiled when he heard news of some serious murder. Traditionally he had sold short measure but, to make up for it, had shortchanged as well. However, the pub had been taken over by the City Watch as the unofficial policemen’s pub, because policemen like to drink in places where no one... |
Even if anyone could consistently carve that fine, the wood would crumble after a couple of impressions. ” “Know about this sort of thing, do you?” “Well, my great-uncle was an engraver, Archchancellor. And the print bill is a major drain, as you know. I think I can say with some justification that I have been able to ... |
They are, as it were, words partis in potentia, and it is, I am afraid, unsophisticated in the extreme to imagine that they have any real existence unis et separato. Indeed, the very concept of letters having their own physical existence is, philosophically, extremely worrying. Indeed, it would be like noses and finger... |
We’ve got nothing against engraving, you know that. We’ve nothing against words being nailed down properly. But words that can be taken apart and used to make other words…well, that’s downright dangerous. And I thought you weren’t in favor, either?” “Broadly, yes,” said the Patrician. “But many years of ruling this cit... |
The dog Wuffles turned over and regarded the priest with one baleful black eye. “He’s doing very well for a dog of his age,” said Hughnon, in a desperate attempt to climb a suddenly tilting slope. “How old would he be now?” “Sixteen,” said the Patrician. “That’s over a hundred in dog years. ” Wuffles dragged himself in... |
Goodmountain to come over here, will you?” William tried to whisper a few instructions into Gunilla’s ear as he hustled him over to the tall figure of the Patrician. “Ah, good,” said the Patrician. “Now, I would just like to ask one or two questions, if I may?” Goodmountain nodded. “Firstly, is Mr. Cut-My-Own-Throat Di... |
“Shall I try again?” he said. “Listen carefully. Drugs equals chemicals, but, and please listen to this part, sheesh, chemicals do not equal drugs. Remember all that trouble with the calcium carbonate? When you paid the man five dollars?” “Made me feel good,” muttered Mr. Tulip. “Calcium carbonate?” said Mr. Pin. “Even... |
Foul Ole Ron’s hands were thrust deeply into his pockets, but from one pocket issued a length of string, or rather a great many lengths of string tied into one length. The other was attached to a small dog of the grayish persuasion. It may have been a terrier. It walked with a limp and also in a kind of oblique fashion... |
She wasn’t a problem. “Yes…Your Ladyship?” said Gaspode. “This wouldn’t be… work , would it?” The mention of the word sent the rest of the crew into a fugue of stress and bewildered panic. “Haaaruk…gak!” “Bugrit!” “Quack!” “No, no, no,” said Gaspode hurriedly. “It’s hardly work, is it? Just handing out stuff and takin’... |
You believe you know where the bodies are buried, Mr. Slant. ” “I’ve talked to one or two of them,” said Mr. Slant. “But it would appear that you have never committed a crime within Ankh-Morpork, otherwise, of course, I could not talk to you. ” “Who says we’ve never committed a —ing crime in Ankh-Morpork?” Mr. Tulip de... |
She was just a girl in an apron, doing slightly dainty things in the background, such as light dusting and arranging flowers. Insofar as he’d formed any opinion of her, it was that she suffered from misplaced gentility and the mistaken belief that etiquette meant good breeding. She mistook mannerisms for manners. Now h... |
Unseen gazes avoided the sight of Mr. Tulip, who had chosen this moment to suck up his nose a large quantity of Slab. “Er, yes,” said a chair. “His Lordship is not to be harmed any more than strictly necessary. Vetinari dead would be more dangerous than Vetinari alive. ” “And at all costs there must be no trouble with ... |
“Oh, they’d be special people for doing this,” said Mr. Mackleduff. “Really?” said William. “Oh, yes,” said Mr. Mackleduff, who was one of those large men who were instantly expert on anything. “They wouldn’t allow just anyone to write what they like. That stands to reason. ” So it was in a thoughtful mood that William... |
“The old street, probably,” said William. “The street has a cellar? What does it keep there?” “Oh, when parts of the city keep getting badly flooded, people just keep building on up,” said William. “This was probably a ground-floor room once, you see. People just bricked up the doors and windows and built on another st... |
It wasn’t often you heard language like that in Ankh-Morpork. Most people talked without leaving gaps in their sentences, and he wondered what the word “ing” meant. A crowd was gathered outside a large building in Welcome Soap, and the cart traffic was already backed up all the way to Broad Way. And, thought William, w... |
The area had been a dump for Unseen University for thousands of years. There was a lot more below that turf than old mutton bones, and magic leaks. On any map of thaumic pollution, the unreal estate would be the center of some worrying concentric circles. Already the grass was multicolored and some of the trees had wal... |
Twenty pence each, then. ” Mr. Bendy nodded. It was clear that he would have done it for nothing. He handed William a wad of yellow, crackling paper. “Here’s an interesting one to start you off,” he said. “Oh? Whose is it?” “Mine. It is very interesting. Especially the bit where I died. ” The next man to come in was in... |
Cartwright, traveling seed salesman. William concentrated desperately on his toast, while over his head every item was presented with the care and veneration of a blessed relic. “Someone held up a shopkeeper at knifepoint,” Mr. Mackleduff went on. “Soon we will not be safe in our beds,” said Mrs. Arcanum. “I don’t thin... |
They weren’t sociable, even amongst themselves; they didn’t think as a species; they were unpleasantly weird; and they sure as hell didn’t have their own food shops. So now it was dawning on some of the brighter ones that the only way people would accept vampires was if they stopped being vampires. That was a high pric... |
Getting gray took a bit of thought, but I zink I haf—” “You mean you can get the imps to etch the picture straight onto a plate?” “Yes. It is vun of those ideas that are obvious when you zink about it. ” Otto looked wistful. “And I zink about light all zer time. All zer…time. ” William vaguely remembered something some... |
It was conceded that they were useful, like sheepdogs, because clearly someone had to keep people in order, heavens knew, but only a fool would let a sheepdog sleep in the parlor. The Watch, in other words, were a regrettably necessary subset of the criminal classes, a section of the population informally defined by Lo... |
“I’m still asking the question,” he went on. “I’m the butcher, as it happens,” said the man. “Well done. The baker’s off sick. And who are you, askin’ me questions?” “Commander Vimes sent me down here,” said William. He was appalled at the ease with which the truth so easily turned into something that was almost a lie,... |
In response to thousands of years of evolution in a high magical environment, it discharged a nighttime’s worth of darkness all at once. It filled the room for a moment, sheer solid black laced with traceries of blue and violet. Again, for a moment William thought he could feel it wash through him in a flood. Then ligh... |
The two humans in front of them were a mere detail, and in any case one of them was only human by tradition. He had the pale gray pallor of a zombie and the expression of one who, while not seeking to be unpleasant in himself, was the cause of much unpleasantness in other people. “Mr. de Worde? I believe you know me. I... |
Everyone was silent, and everyone was watching him. A few days ago he’d have expected today to be…well, dull. It usually was, just after he’d sent out his newsletter. He generally spent the time wandering around the city or reading in his tiny office while waiting for the next client with a letter to be written or, som... |
“Every word of that story is true, sir. ” “I’d bet on it. It sounds like his style. ” “Look, Commander, if there’s something wrong with my story, tell me what it is. ” Vimes sat back and waved his hands. “Are you going to print everything you hear?” said Vimes. “Do you intend to run around my city like some loose…loose... |
” “Are you sure? You do know Constable Keenside had all his teeth knocked out yesterday?” “They say it can’t happen again, sir. ” “Well, obviously it can’t. He hasn’t got any more teeth. Oh, well…” Vimes picked up the tube, held it away from him for a moment, and then spoke into it. “Put me through to the cells, will y... |
They wouldn’t be watchmen if someone wasn’t running a book. ” “On Mr. de Worde?” “Yes. ” “Well…six’ll get you ten that he’ll be dead by next Monday, sir. ” “You might just spread the word that I don’t like that sort of thing, will you?” “Yes, sir. ” “Find out who’s running the book, and when you have found out that it ... |
Goodmountain,” said Sacharissa. “I don’t pretend to know exactly what it means, but I understand they’ve got enough for only one more edition. ” “And if we want any more it’s five times the old price,” said Goodmountain, coming up. “The Engravers are buying it up. Supply and demand, King says. ” “King?” William’s brow ... |
How many times must I tell you this? They are uncannily good at noticing things. ” “Mr. Tulip here won’t leave ’em much to notice—” Mr. Pin stopped. “The Watch frighten you that much, do they?” “This is Ankh-Morpork,” snapped the lawyer. “We are a very cosmopolitan city. Being dead in Ankh-Morpork is sometimes only an ... |
Perhaps it was some kind of defense against the odors which were, in a way, his stock in trade. “Evenin’, lads,” he said amiably. “What can I do for you? As if I didn’t know. ” “Do you remember me, Mr. King?” said William. Harry nodded. “You’re Lord de Worde’s son, right? You put a piece in that letter of yourn last ye... |
Then… “Oh, will you look at that,” said Harry, stepping back from the window in tremendous astonishment. “See that cart at the other gate down there?” They saw the cart. “I must’ve told the lads a hundred times, don’t leave a cart all laden up and ready to go right by an open gate like that. Someone’ll nick it, I told ... |
“Perfectly okay! You’re allowed rat, right?” Otto froze for a moment, and then snatched up the packet. He bit into it. In the sudden silence Sacharissa wondered if she wasn’t hearing a very faint sound, like the straw at the bottom of a milkshake. After a few seconds Otto opened his eyes, and then looked sidelong at th... |
Tulip rammed two long kebab skewers into the bar, where they vibrated. “What cooks’ve you got?” he said. “It’s a good apron,” said the voice in the gloom. “It is the —ing envy of all my friends,” Mr. Tulip growled. In the silence Mr. Pin heard the unseen drinkers calculating the likely number of friends of Mr. Tulip. I... |
Of course, in an hour or so, the mouth of the press would be hungry again and he’d be back pushing the huge rock uphill, just like that character in mythology…what was his name… “Who was that hero who was condemned to push a rock up a hill and every time he got it to the top it rolled down again?” he said. Sacharissa d... |
Vimes works by the rules. ” “I’ve always understood him to be a violent and vicious man,” said a chair. “Quite so. And because this is what he knows himself to be, he always works by the rules. In any case, the Guilds will be meeting tomorrow. ” “Who will be the new Patrician?” said a chair. “That will be a matter for ... |
de Worde, I—” “Where are the damn scales, Mrs. Arcanum?” said William desperately. “Mr. de Worde! For shame!” “The future of the city hangs in the balance, Mrs. Arcanum!” Perplexity slowly took the place of stern affront. “What, in my scales?” “Yes! Yes! It could very well be!” “Well, er…they’re in the pantry by the fl... |
” “Look, I don’t need a heart-to-heart about this, can you understand? My father is not a nice man. Do I have to draw you a picture? He doesn’t much like me, and I don’t like him. If it comes to that, he doesn’t like anyone very much. Especially dwarfs and trolls. ” “No law says you have to like dwarfs and trolls,” sai... |
“And the King of Lancre says women in Lancre don’t give birth to snakes. ” “Well, he would say that, wouldn’t he?” said Mrs. Arcanum. “Vetinari must’ve done something, ” said Mr. Windling. “Otherwise why would he be helping the Watch with their inquiries? That’s not the action of an innocent man, in my humble opinion. ... |
“So you’re just telling me to pay you a hundred dollars so that I could hand Wuffles over to the Watch?” “That’d be a feather in your cap with old Vimes, wouldn’t it?” said Deep Bone. “But you said you didn’t trust the Watch, Mr. Bone. I do listen to what people say, you know. ” Deep Bone went quiet for a while. Then: ... |
“And if I am not mistaken, ve have a successfully etched picture! All of vhich only goes to show vot ve can achieve when our brains are not clouded by thoughts of open vindows and bare necks, vhich never cross my mind at all zese days because I am completely beetotal. ” Otto had made changes to his clothing. Away had g... |
Vell, I must go and see if the imps have done zer job properly…” Certainly the crowd was thinning rapidly under the stress of seeing the advancing Sister Jennifer, especially the segment of it that had brought dogs that purred or ate sunflower seeds. Many of those who had brought an actual living dog were looking nervo... |
“I mean, who else could it—” “Otto’s taller than that,” said Sacharissa, and burst out laughing. The dwarfs started to laugh, too, because at that moment they would laugh at anything. Otto didn’t join in very enthusiastically. “Oh, yes. Ho ho ho,” he said. “Zer famous Ankh-Morpork sense of humor. Vot a funny joke. Talk... |
“Oh, you don’t think so?” Hold on, hold on…Deep Bone claimed to know the dog Wuffles, and a dog ought to know if his master was acting oddly…dogs liked routine… “I think it’s very unusual for His Lordship to be outside the Palace at that time,” said William carefully. “Not part of the…routine. ” “Nor is stabbing your c... |
“Oh, vunce again I am so ashamed, vhere can I put my head, it’s so—” William held up the picture. “Otto, what’s this?” In the shadows were mouths, screaming. In the shadows were eyes, wide. They didn’t move while you watched them, but if you looked at the picture a second time you got a feeling that they weren’t quite ... |
” “They’re stuck. That’s what Vimes was telling me. ” Sacharissa stared at his frozen expression. Then she leaned over and, to his shock, patted his hand. “Perhaps you are having an effect, then. ” “Hah!” “Well, if they’re going to pardon Vetinari, maybe it’s because they’re worried about you. ” “Hah! Anyway, who are ‘... |
All sorts of things landed in the river. It was the sort of thing that happened all the time. The crew took a keen interest in floating things. But it was unusual to get this many all at once. “Maybe it’s been raining dogs?” said Altogether Andrews, who was being steered by the mind known as Curly at the moment. The cr... |
” “Hah! Walkin’ round the corner’d shake off Nobby Nobbs!” “Oh, no, he kept right up. I knew Vimes would have me tracked,” said William proudly. “By Nobbs?” “Yes. Obviously…in his werewolf shape…” There. He’d said it. But today was a day for shadows and secrets. “A werewolf shape,” said Deep Bone flatly. “Yes. I’d be g... |
After a minute or two there was the sound of a few ax blows below them, and then someone swore in Dwarfish, very loudly. “I’m going to see what they’re doing,” said Sacharissa, unable to resist anymore, and hurried away. The bricks that once had filled the old doorway were already down when she got there. Since the sto... |
Ronnie ‘Trust Me’ Begholder, known to owe Chrysoprase the troll more than two thousand dollars, last seen buying a very fast horse?” “Well?” “Where do the demons fit in?” “Well, he could’ve been stolen by demons,” said Dibbler. “It could happen to anybody. ” “What you mean, then, is that there is no evidence that he wa... |
The pinkness was only one aspect of the thing, but it was so… pink that it dominated everything else, even the topiary-effect tail with the fluffy knob on the end. The front of the dog looked as though it had been fired through a large pink ball, and had only got halfway. Then there was also the matter of the large gli... |
This is about money, is it?” “All we’re owed, plus another fifty thousand. ” “But you haven’t found the dog. ” “Nor have the Watch. And they’ve got a werewolf. Everyone’s looking for the dog. The dog’s gone. But that doesn’t matter. This little box matters. ” “That is very little in the way of evidence…” “Really? You a... |
Besides, the water would have been boiled, wouldn’t it? “No milk, though,” he said quickly. He could imagine what the milk would be like. “Ah, I said you were a gentleman,” said the Duck Man, pouring a tarry brown liquid into the mug. “Milk in tea is an abomination. ” He picked up, with a dainty gesture, a plate and a ... |
“What we’ll do…we’ll go back to the house, okay, and…and we’ll get the rest of the diamonds, and we’ll scrag Charlie, and, and…we’ll find a vegetable shop…any special kind of potato?” “Nope. ” “Right…but first…” Mr. Pin stopped, and his mind’s ear heard footsteps stop behind him, a moment later. The damn vampire had do... |
“There are some thoughts too dreadful to think,” said the skinny man looking at her from the top of the steps and down the length of a pistol bow. “What are you doing here, lady?” “And you were Brother Pin! You haven’t got any right here! I’ve got a key!” Some areas of Sacharissa’s mind that dealt with things like deat... |
“‘Brave’ would be better,” said Sacharissa distantly. “It’s only five letters. It would look better in a single-column sidebar. No…‘Plucky’ would work, because then we’d get: PLUCKY DOG PUTS BITE ON VILLAINS …although that first line is a bit shy. ” “I wish I could think in headlines,” said William, shivering. It was c... |
…candlesticks…they’d been made of gold, hundreds of years ago…there were only ever potatoes to eat, grubbed up from under the snow, but the candlesticks were of gold…and some old woman, she’d said: “It’ll all turn out right if you’ve got a potato”… W AS ANY GOD OF SOME SORT MENTIONED TO YOU AT ANY POINT? “No…” D AMN. I... |
” “That’s not where the paper ends up,” said William. “Quite the reverse. ” “What did you expect? These aren’t books, they’re…words that come and go. Cheer up. ” “There’s a problem,” said William. “Yes?” “We haven’t got enough money for a new press. Our shed has been burned down. We are out of business. It’s all over. ... |
“Best time. ” He upended a bag, and jewels spilled across the charred wood. There was a strangled noise from Goodmountain. Next to gold, jewels were a dwarf’s best friend. William emptied the other bags. “How much do you think this lot is worth?” he said, when the gems stopped rolling and twinkling. Goodmountain had al... |
You needed a special kind of imagi— “Why, Sacharissa,” he said, standing up as she crept into the room. “Do take the chair. I’m afraid I don’t have one for your…friend. ” He nodded at William. “May I say how sad I was to hear about the fire?” “It’s your office,” said William coldly. “You can say anything you like. ” Be... |
However, the dog Wuffles escaped, dash, and caused a citywide search by the Watch and criminals alike. He was found by a group of public-spirited citizens. They—” A piece of type dropped from Goodmountain’s fingers. “You mean Foul Ole Ron and that bunch?” “—public-spirited citizens,” William repeated, nodding furiously... |
“I reckon…to be that sorry, you got to take a —ing good run at it. ” Y ES. “So…how long have I got?” Death looked up at the strange stars. A LL THE TIME IN THE WORLD. “Yeah…well, maybe that’ll —ing do it. Maybe there won’t be no more world to go back to by then. ” I BELIEVE IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT. I UNDERSTAND REIN... |
” “As your father I order you to cease this…this…” “You used to order me to tell the truth,” said William. Lord de Worde drew himself up. “Oh, William, William! Don’t be so naive. ” William shut his notebook. The words came easier now. He’d leapt from the building and found that he could fly. “And which one is this?” h... |
“I wish you joy of it, my son. Because…you are most certainly a de Worde. Good day to you. ” He turned and walked away. After a few seconds, the distant door creaked open and shut quietly. William staggered to a pillar. He was shaking. He replayed the meeting in his head. His brain hadn’t touched the ground the whole t... |
And you will have one of your special quiet words with the Engravers’ Guild. You are good at quiet words. ” “Well, of course, I will do my best. The bill, however—” “—won’t exist,” said William. Only then did Mr. Slant’s parchment features really crease up in pain. “Pro bono publico?” he croaked. “Oh, yes. You will cer... |
“Just come out with a question, just like that?” “Yes, my lord. ” “Do I have to answer it?” “It is a reasonable question in the circumstances, my lord, but you don’t have to. ” “Do you have a message for the people of Ankh-Morpork?” said William sweetly. “Do we, Mr. Slant?” said Lord Downey. Mr. Slant sighed. “It may b... |
He gave William a look which said, “I can read your mind, even the small print,” and then gazed around the pressroom again. “Well, I can see you have an eventful future ahead of you, and I would not wish to make it any more difficult than it is clearly going to be. I notice you have work going on…?” “We’re putting a se... |
“Well, I was thinking,” said William. “I mean, it’s been a…a funny old time all round, what with one thing and another—” “—people trying to kill us, you being imprisoned, a plague of dogs, the place catching on fire, you being cheeky to Lord Vetinari—” said Sacharissa. “Yes, well…so would it really matter if you and I,... |
Many people were in distant pursuit of the barrels, and the odd scream suggested that thirsty people seldom realize how hard it is to stop a hundred gallons of beer in a big oak cask when it’s on a roll. He dutifully noted down the name on the side of the dray. A couple of men were helping the horses up, but they did n... |
” Ottawa Citizen B OOKS BY T ERRY P RATCHETT The Carpet People The Dark Side of the Sun Strata Truckers Diggers Wings Only You Can Save Mankind Johnny and the Dead Johnny and the Bomb The Unadulterated Cat (with Gray Jollife) Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman) T HE D ISCWORLD S ERIES The Color of Magic* The Light Fantastic*... |
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