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Much better, he corrected himself, because they had devious little minds and that was what made them coppers…the guards on the Scone were honorable dwarfs, the last people you wanted to entrust with anything. You wanted sneaky people for a job like this. But…it made no sense. He’d be the prime suspect. Vimes wasn’t wel...
” “Why?” “Because I know what kind of questions get answers. We’ll set up an office here. We’ll find out the movements of everyone and talk to all the guards, okay? Even the ones on the gates. We’ll find out who went in and out. ” “You already think you know something…” “Let’s say some ideas are forming, shall we?” “I ...
A little bit of muzzy mental arithmetic was needed, but eventually he decided that the room was ten feet square. One thing that Vimes did not do was shout “Help! Help!” He was in a cell. Someone had put him in a cell. It was reasonable to assume, therefore, that whoever had done this wasn’t interested in his opinions. ...
He raised his hands and, as the other dwarf walked cautiously over to the stone slab, let them move toward the back of his neck. These dwarfs were nervous of him. Perhaps they didn’t see humans very often. They’d remember this one. “Want to see a trick?” said Vimes. “Grz’dak?” “Watch this ,” said Vimes, and brought his...
“In the mountains, quite a long way viddershins of the town, Mister Vimes. Goodbye. ” “You’re going to leave me here ?” “I’m sorry? You vere the one who escaped. I am certainly not here. Me, a vampire, interfering in the affairs of the dwarfs? Unthinkable! But let us just say…I like people to have an even chance. ” “It...
” He tossed the clothes as far as he could. “What is it you want me to say, Your Grace?” said Wolf. “Something like ‘you are going to die anyway so I might as well tell you,’ perhaps?” “Well, it’d be a help,” said Vimes. “You are going to die anyway. ” Wolf smiled. “Why don’t you tell me ?” Talking gained time. Maybe t...
And they know that Vimes is going to be back in a week or so, Drumknott. And Vimes will not be happy. Indeed, he will not. And when a commander of the Watch is unhappy, he tends to spread it around with a big shovel. ” He smiled again. “This is the time for sensible men to be honest, Drumknott. I only hope Colon is stu...
Then he grabbed the ax and climbed through the window just as the spilled fat oil whump ed. Vimes dropped into the deep snow and ran toward the boathouse. There were other tracks leading to it, not human. When he reached the door he swung wildly at the darkness just inside, and his reward was a cut-off yelp. The skiff ...
The air was hotter now, but it was the clammy heat of a fever. And then he looked around, and realized where he was. There was bare dirt and rock in front of him, but here and there parts of it were moving and going blup. Everywhere he looked, there were fat geysers. Rings of ancient, congealed, yellow fat, so old and ...
His progress was a little faster, since the falling werewolf had removed a lot of branches on the way down, but the landing was softer because the werewolf was just getting to its feet. Vimes’s flailing hand grabbed a broken branch. A weapon. Thought more or less stopped when his fingers closed. Whatever replaced it in...
“I’ll keep going. Come on. Get some of the wolves to pull the sleigh—” “You don’t get them to, sir. You ask Gavin if they will,” said Carrot. “Oh. Er…can you explain the situation to him?” I’m standing in the cold in the middle of a forest, thought Vimes a moment later, watching a quite handsome young woman growling a ...
There were few people on the streets, which were whitening with the new snow again except where wisps of steam escaped from the occasional grating. In Uberwald, it seemed, sunset made its own curfew. This was just as well, because Gavin was growling continuously under his breath. Carrot came back from the next corner. ...
She’d seen the kitchens, when Serafine had given her the little tour, and they’d just about do for a cottage. The game larders, on the other hand, were the size of barns. She’d never seen so many dead things hanging up. It was just that she was certain that venison shouldn’t be served boiled, with potatoes that were cr...
Lady Sybil untucked her dress from her underwear and stepped carefully across the little courtyard. She was somewhere around the rear of the castle, as far as she could make out. She flattened herself as best she could against the wall when she heard a sound, and tightened her grip on one of the iron bars that had form...
“Stand aside, or by gods, ambassador or not, I’ll arrest you!” Their eyes met. Then Vimes looked away. “Let’s let him through,” he said. “The man’s decided he’s got a duty to do. ” Tantony nodded slightly, and then marched on across to the bridge until he was a few feet from the baroness. He saluted. “Take these people...
N O ONE IS MORE SURPRISED THAN ME , I MAY SAY, BUT YOUR TIME DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE NOW. Death pulled out an hourglass, held it up against the cold stars for a moment, and stalked away along the riverbank. “’Scuse me, there’s no chance of a lift, is there?” said Gaspode, struggling after him. N ONE WHATSOEVER. “Only, be...
“You are under—” “You know the Scone of Stone was stolen?” “You…what?” Vimes reached around and pulled a sack out of the sleigh. “Bring those torches closer!” he shouted, and because he delivered the command in a tone that said there was no doubt that it’d be obeyed, it was obeyed. I’ve got twenty seconds, he thought, ...
I’m going to be lucky to get out of here alive, aren’t I? A door was rolled open. A couple of what Vimes thought of as the heavy dwarfs stepped through and gave everyone the official, professional look which said that for your comfort and convenience we have decided not to kill you right at this very moment. The king e...
“He took his own life, sire!” The king smiled at Vimes. “There’s an old superstition, Your Excellency, that since the Scone contains a grain of Truth it will glow red-hot if a lie is told by anyone touching it. Of course, in these more modern times, I shouldn’t think anyone believes it. ” He turned to Dee. “Tell me aga...
The price is ten Ankh-Morpork cents a barrel but, Your Excellency, since I have come to know you, I feel that perhaps—” “Five cents a barrel for grade one high-rendered, three cents for grade two, ten cents per barrel for heavy tallow, safe and delivered to Ankh-Morpork,” said Sybil. “And all from the Shmaltzberg Bend ...
” “He will be tho exthited, thir! I’ve heard that in Ankh-Morpork bodieth just lie around in the thtreeth for anyone to take away!” “It’s not quite as bad as that, Igor. ” “Ithn’t it? Oh well, you can’t have everything. I’ll tell him directly. ” Igor lurched off in a sort of high-speed totter. I wonder why they all wal...
“Sam, Igor’s probably just dropped something,” said Sybil, seeing his expression. “That’s all. Probably just knocked a glass over. ” There was a snarl, and a scream, abruptly cut off. Vimes leapt off the bed. “Lock the door after me and push the bed against it!” He paused for a moment in the doorway. “Without straining...
On a street corner a cart had overturned and its driver was kneeling by a horse that had been ripped open. “Which way?” The man pointed. The new street was wider, busier, and there were a number of elegant coaches, moving slowly through the crowds. Of course…the coronation. But that belonged to the world of the Duke of...
“You tell me ,” he growled, waving a finger under her nose, “how anyone can swim up a vertical waterfall? I was prepared to believe anything about that bastard, but even he couldn’t have managed that…” “Certainly that is a puzzle,” said the vampire calmly, as the driverless coach moved on. “Superhuman strength, possibl...
Maybe a hundred thousand… …and he was in the front row. No one had said anything. The four of them had simply been led there and left, although the murmurings suggested that the presence of Detritus was causing considerable comment. Senior, long-bearded and richly clothed dwarfs were all around them, and the troll stoo...
” A dwarf caught up with Vimes and tugged his cloak respectfully. “The king wishes to see you now, Your Excellency,” he said. “There’s an almighty queue!” “Nevertheless,” the dwarf gave a polite cough, “the king wishes to see you now. All of you. ” They were led to the front of the queue. Vimes felt many eyes boring in...
” He smacked the young man around the back of his head. “Thay hello to Hith Grathe, Igor!” “I don’t believe in the peerage,” said young Igor, sulkily. “Nor shall I call any man marthter. ” “Thee?” said his father. “Thorry about this, Your Grathe, but thith is the younger generation for you. I hope you can find a job fo...
“Er…Mister Vimes with you, at all?” “What is happening , Nobby?” “Well…you see …Fred kind of…and then he got all sort of…then next thing you know he was setting for to…and then we…and then he wouldn’t come out…and then we…and he nailed up the door…and Mrs. Fred came and shouted at him through the letter box…and most of...
* The Marquis of Fantailler got into many fights in his youth, most of them as a result of being known as the Marquis of Fantailler, and wrote a set of rules for which he termed “the noble art of fisticuffs” which mostly consisted of a list of places where people weren’t allowed to hit him. Many people were impressed w...
‘Sir’ will do, by the way. I think I once broke your father’s leg?” “Yes, sir. He asked to be remembered to you,” said Jocasta. “You’re a bit young to be sent on this contract, aren’t you?” said Vimes. “Not a contract, sir,” said Jocasta, still paddling. “Come now, Miss Wiggs. The price on my head is at least—” “The Gu...
” “I think, perhaps, the hose in the old scullery might be more appropriate, Your Grace? To start with, at least?” “Good point. See to it. And now I must be off. ” In the crowded main office of the Pseudopolis Yard Watch House, Sergeant Colon absentmindedly adjusted the sprig of lilac that he’d stuck into his helmet li...
“They” meant watchmen who could think without moving their lips, who didn’t take bribes—much, and then only at the level of beer and doughnuts, which even Vimes recognized as the grease that helps the wheels run smoothly—and were, on the whole, trustworthy. For a given value of “trust,” at least. The sound of running f...
Palm and Mrs. Battye and some of the girls were up here earlier,” said Dibbler. “And, of course, Madam always makes sure there’s the egg. ” “It’s nice, the way they always remember,” said Sergeant Colon. The three stood in silence. They were not, on the whole, men with a vocabulary designed for times like this. After a...
” “Do you mean that most of them will be human, or that each individual will be mostly human?” said Vimes. After a while in Ankh-Morpork, you learned to phrase that kind of question. “Er, apart from humans the only species I’d heard of there in any numbers are the kvetch, sir. They live in the deep woods and are covere...
Buggy had tamed it in the usual gnome way: you painted yourself green like a frog and hung out in the marshes, croaking, and then, when a heron tried to eat you, you ran up its beak and beaned it. By the time it came around you’d blown the special oil up its nostrils—that had taken all day to make, and the stink of it ...
“Push off !” shouted Buggy and turned back to the telescope. There was Carcer, running, and Vimes running after him, and here came the hail … It turned the world white. It thudded around him and made his helmet ring. Hailstones as big as his head bounced on the stone and hit Buggy from underneath. Cursing and shielding...
Smoke was rising from the weathercock’s bearings. “I got three knives, Mister Vimes,” said Carcer, bringing his arm up. The lightning struck. Windows blew out and iron gutters melted. Roofs lifted into the air and settled again. Buildings shook. But this storm had been blowing in from far across the plains, pushing the...
“I should take it easy, if I was you,” said the doctor, gently pushing him back. “That was a very nasty cut. And don’t touch the eyepatch!” “Cut?” said Vimes, his hand brushing the stiff cloth of an eyepatch. Memories interlocked. “Carcer! Did anyone get him?” “Whoever attacked you got away,” said the doctor. “After th...
“What’s happened to Willikins?” said Vimes. “The scullery boy?” Now the butler’s tone was icy. “If you are a relative, I suggest you enquire around at the tradesmen’s entrance. You ought to know better than to come to the front door. ” Vimes tried to think how to deal with this, but his fist didn’t bother to wait. It l...
” “I’ll leave the money on the dressing table,” said Vimes. The slap in the face knocked him against the wall. “Consider that a sign of my complete lack of a sense of humor, will you?” said Rosie, shaking some life back into her hand. “I’m…sorry,” said Vimes. “I didn’t mean to…I mean…look, thank you for everything. I m...
“I’ll just stand with my legs apart, shall I?” he said. “Yeah,” growled the sergeant, turning around, “yeah, that’ll save us a bit of time. Although for you , mister, we’ve got all night. Well done, Lance Constable. We’ll make a watchman of you yet. ” “Yeah, well done,” said Vimes, staring at the young man with the bow...
The captain’s door was open. The tired-looking old man behind the desk glanced up. “Be seated,” said Tilden coldly. “Thank you, Snouty. ” Vimes had mixed memories of Captain Tilden. He had been a military man before being given this job as a kind of pension, and that was a bad thing in a senior copper. It meant he look...
“Well, I’d like you to believe for a while that I’m a sort of policeman too, all right? Me and my colleagues, we see that…things happen. Or don’t happen. Don’t ask questions right now. Just nod. ” Vimes shrugged instead. “Good. And let’s say on our patrol we’ve found you, as it might be, in a metaphorical kind of way, ...
It’s funny how secretly you can move when you’re a loony monk dancing through the streets banging a drum. ” “When I was a kid, most of my clothes came from the shonky shop in Clay Lane,” said Vimes. “Everyone we knew got their clothes from the shonky shop. Used to be run by a foreign guy with a funny name…” “Brother So...
But sometimes you can’t help wondering: what would have happened if I’d done something different—” “Like when you killed your wife?” Sweeper was impressed at Vimes’s lack of reaction. “This is a test, right?” “You’re a quick study, Mister Vimes. ” “But in some other universe, believe me, I hauled off and punched you on...
He glanced at the arena and hurriedly raised his megaphone to his lips. “Don’t hold it that way up! I said don’t hold—” There was a thunderclap. Lu-Tze didn’t bother to turn around. Qu lifted the megaphone again and said wearily, “All right, someone please go and fetch Brother Kai, will you? Start looking around, oh, t...
“Well, er, Sheriff Macklewheet, er, certainly gave you a most glowing reference,” said the captain, shuffling the paper. “Very glowing. Things have been a little difficult since we lost Sergeant Wi—” “And I’ll be paid my first month in advance, please. I need clothes and a decent meal and somewhere to sleep. ” Tilden c...
It was the special office in Cable Street that was the long hand of his lordship’s paranoia. The Particulars, they were officially, but as far as Vimes could remember they’d reveled in their nickname of the Unmentionables. They were the ones that listened in every shadow and watched at every window. That was how it see...
The iron bulk of the hurry-up wagon stood empty on the cobbles. Behind it was what they called, now, the stables. In fact, the stables were only the bottom floor of what would have been part of Ankh-Morpork’s industrial heritage, if anyone had ever thought of it like that. In fact they thought of it as junk that was to...
They’re crying out for good men in the Day Watch, but if you don’t stand too close to the light you might pass. Get along there right now!” “Everybody does it!” Quirke burst out. “It’s perks !” “Everybody?” said Vimes. He looked around at the squad. “Anyone else here take bribes?” His glare ran from face to face, causi...
Young Sam wasn’t saying much. That was good sense. “I see you’ve got a bell there, lad,” said Vimes after a while. “Yes, Sarge. ” “Regulation bell?” “Yes, Sarge. Sergeant Knock gave it to me. ” I’ll bet he did, thought Vimes. “When we get back, just you swap it for someone else’s. Doesn’t matter whose. No one’ll say an...
He’d wondered how the Watch was going to play it, and wasn’t surprised to find they were using, with gleeful malignancy, the old dodge of obeying orders to the letter. At the first point he made, Lance Corporal Coates and Constable Waddy were waiting with four sullen or protesting insomniacs. “Four, sah ,” said Coates,...
And an associate, I see—” “I do crochet!” “—and what appear to be some partygoers. Well, well. What little scamps your street officers are, to be sure. They really have scoured the streets. How they love their…littlejokes, Sergeant. ” Swing put his hand on the wagon door’s handle and there was a little noise, which was...
Tilden had limped home long ago, but Vimes did a quick sweep of his office and it was with great satisfaction that he did not see what he hadn’t expected to be there. Down below, a few of the more conscientious officers were signing off before heading home. He waited in the shadows until the door had banged shut for th...
Hasn’t it ever occurred to you, sergeant, that sometimes people go to a massage parlor for a real massage, for example? There’s ladies all over this city with discreet signs up that say things like ‘Trousers repaired while you wait,’ and a small but significant number of men make the same mistake as Sandra. There’s lot...
Vimes had always wondered how the man had kept control, but maybe it was because the thugs recognized, in some animal way, a mind that had arrived at thuggery by the long route and was capable of devising in the name of reason the kind of atrocities that unreason could only dream of. It wasn’t easy, living in the past....
If they were a copper, too, then they were one of Swing’s crew and therefore in the wrong (because he was a better copper than them, and so were things floating in gutters), and therefore delivering a swift bucketful of darkness had no obvious downside. On the other hand, thieves, assassins, and Swing’s men, by all acc...
It was better than speaking. Nobby wriggled uneasily. “Fact is, Sarge, she…er, caught me snickering her nolly last month. Hell’s bells, Sarge, she’s got a punch on her like a mule! When I come round, we got to talking, and she said a keen young lad like me could be useful as, like, an ear on the street. ” Vimes continu...
But practice makes perfect. ” Then he turned, at last, to Coates’s locker. The man was watching him like a hawk. The scratched door creaked open. Every neck craned to see. There was a stack of old notebooks, some civilian clothing, and a small sack of what, when it was tipped out onto the floor, turned out to be laundr...
On the raised platform at the end of the noisy dining hall, Doctor Follett, Master of Assassins and ex officio headmaster of the Assassins’ Guild School, was in animated conversation with, indeed, a lady. The vivid purple of her dress made a splash of color in the vast room where black predominated, and the elegant whi...
Run down by a cart when he was crossing the street, our mum said. ” What a champion liar she was, too. “Sorry to hear that,” said Vimes. “Er, our mum says you’d be welcome round to tea one night, what with you being all by yourself in a strange city, Sarge. ” “Would you like me to give you another tip, lad?” said Vimes...
* “What’ll we do, Sarge?” whispered Sam. “Ring your bell. ” “But they’ve spotted us!” “Ring the damn bell, will you? And keep walking! And don’t stop ringing!” The Unmentionables spread out now, and as Vimes trudged toward them, he saw several figures at each end of the line slip around behind him. That’s how it’d go. ...
“I said he’s one of my men, on official business, and I am a sergeant,” he said. “And I am sergeant-at-arms and I said we’ll hand him over to you at the nick, Sergeant Carcer. Officially. ” Carcer nodded toward the lance constable, so imperceptibly that only Vimes saw it. And he lowered his voice. “But suddenly I’ve go...
In truth, it was never proven that anyone had given an order to ride people down, but did it matter? Horses pushing, and people unable to get away because of the press of people behind them…it was too easy for small children to lose grip of a hand… “But, in fairness, missiles were thrown at the officers, and one soldie...
Vimes glanced up. “And I reckon if you go up onto the attic landing you’ll find there’s a man who dropped through the skylight right onto a doorful of nails that was accidentally left there,” he went on. He looked at Knock’s puzzled face. “It’s the Cable Street boys, Sergeant,” he explained. “They thought they could co...
And we’ve heard about Dimwell Street and we don’t like that , either. And that’s all I’ve got to say tonight. Now…anyone who still wants to take a swing at a copper can step right up, if they want to. I’ve got my uniform off. We’ll have a go, here and now, fair and square, in front of everyone. Anyone?” Something brush...
He picked up a bag from its nesting place between the smoking pots, and there was some faint swishing and heavier breathing that suggested clothes were being changed. After a minute of so, he emerged from the hidden niche and now, somehow, he was visible. Hard to see, yes, one shadow among others, but nevertheless ther...
And, when Vimes put his arms around him and whispered “Gotcha!” into his ear, the man apparently did in his trousers what his dear mother, some forty years before, had very patiently taught him not to do. The people had gone home. The sewn-up Gappy had been escorted to Old Cobblers, where Fred Colon patiently explained...
What tricks do you know? Seen any good tricks lately, Gerald? Do tell!” At last it dawned on the Ferret that he should stop talking. It was about half an hour too late. The expressions on what could be seen of the faces of Todzy and Muffer suggested that they wanted a very personal word with him. “I demand protective c...
“But if you’re trying to guess my weight, don’t expect to get any help from me. You can call me Madam. ” She sat down in a chair opposite him, put her hands together and stared at him over the top of them. “Who are you working for?” she said. “I’m an officer of the City Watch,” said Vimes. “Brought here under duress…Ma...
She set her face into a genuine smile of pleasure and opened the big double doors at the other end of the room. “Ah, Doctor,” she said, stepping into the haze of smoke. “A little more champagne?” Vimes slept in a corner, standing up. It was an old trick, shared by night watchmen and horses. It wasn’t exactly sleep, you...
There was some murmuring from the watchers but Vimes, bent double and with tears running from his eyes, raised a hand. “No, it was fair enough, fair enough,” he panted. “We’ve all got something to learn. ” He put his hands on his knees, wheezing a little more theatrically than he needed to. He was impressed that Ned wa...
But Vimes ducked under the blow and caught the man’s arm in both hands, twisting it up behind his back and bringing his ear into immediate conjunction with Vimes’s mouth. “Not quite unexpected, sunshine,” he whispered. “Now, we’ll both keep grinning because the lads are laughing at our Ned, isn’t he a card, who keeps h...
“To keep the peace? What’ll you do when there’s no peace left to keep? Well, I’m not going to stand around and watch you get killed. I’m off. ” He turned and strode out of the yard and into the Watch House. You bloody fool, you’re right, Vimes thought. I just wish you weren’t so right. “Still with us, lads?” he said to...
Who was he, who was he…surprisingly, the name seemed quite fresh in the memory… “Ah, er, yeah…Mr. Shine—” “Soon Shine Sun,” said Mr. Sun. He grabbed the suit Vimes was still holding. “Good eye, good eye, lovely cloth, lovely cloth, owned by priest, very good, fifty pence to you, shame to sell it, times are hard. ” Vime...
To his mild surprise, the men were still out in the yard. Someone had even hung up the swordsmanship targets, which would certainly be helpful if the watchmen were faced with an enemy who was armless and tied to a pole. He climbed the stairs. The captain’s door was open, and he saw that the new man had repositioned his...
“Ah, Billy, what happens is, the vicious revolutionaries take one look at us and scuttle off back to their holes,” said Vimes. He was immediately sorry he’d said that. Billy hadn’t learned irony. “I mean we just give the uniforms an airing,” he translated. “We’ll get cheesed,” said Fred Colon. “Not if we stick together...
It was quite the reverse. It was defending your doorstep. They were building a barricade in Whalebone Lane. It wasn’t a particularly good one, made up mostly of overturned market stalls, a small cart, and quite a lot of household furniture, but it was a Symbol. Rust’s mustache bristled. “Right in our faces,” he snapped...
A barrage of missiles was coming over the barricade. Throwing things was an old Ankh-Morpork custom, and there was something about Rust that made him a natural target. With what dignity he could muster, he raised the megaphone again and got as far as “I hereby warn you—” before a stone spun it out of his hand. “Very we...
Doesn’t seem right, Sarge,” said Wiglet wretchedly. “You took an oath to uphold the law and defend the citizens without fear or favor,” said Vimes. “And to protect the innocent. That’s all they put in. Maybe they thought those were the important things. Nothing in there about orders, even from me. You’re an officer of ...
“Well, it’s no good you torturing me because I won’t reveal any details about my comrades in the other revolutionary cells!” said Reg. “Okay. I won’t, then. Now perhaps—” “That’s how we work, see? None of the cadres knows about the other ones!” “Really. Do they know about you?” said Vimes. For a moment, Reg’s face clou...
” “Quit, Fred,” said Vimes. “We don’t desert. We’re civilians. Now, I want young Vimes and you and Waddy and maybe half a dozen others out here, fully kitted up, in two minutes, understand? And tell Wiglet to organize squads ready to move the barricades forward at my signal. ” “ Move them, Sarge? I thought barricades s...
You’ve been very helpful,” said Vimes, lowering the limp body to the floor. “Now, sir, I’m just handcuffing you to this desk for a moment, sir, for your protection. ” “Who…who from?” “Me. I’ll kill you if you try to run away, sir. ” Vimes hurried back to the main chamber. The torturer was still out cold. Vimes hauled h...
Damn! That hadn’t occurred to him. He’d been so angry with the clerk he’d forgotten all about the brute in the chair. Vimes hesitated. But burning was a horrible death. He reached for his knife, and remembered it was back in its sheath on his sword belt. Smoke was already drifting up the passage in the warehouse. “Give...
” “We should be okay if we’ve got the barricades all the way to Easy Street,” said Vimes, and was aware of a telling silence. He turned over and sat up on the table that Lawn was using as a bench. “We have got them to Easy Street, haven’t we?” he demanded. “The last I heard, yes,” said the doctor. “The last you heard?”...
As for the rest of the casualties, three of them had been men knocked senseless by riding into hanging shop signs while pursuing…well, people, when it came down to it, because with the smoke and darkness who could tell who the real enemy was? The idiots had apparently assumed that anyone running away was the enemy. And...
” “I daresay the man is dead,” said Carcer, and the major tried not to look slightly more cheerful. “The person in charge down there now calls himself Sergeant Keel. But he is an impostor. The real Keel is in the mortuary. ” “How do you know all this?” said the major. “We in the Particulars have ways of finding things ...
I don’t dare not to be. I’m going to make the stupid decision because I don’t want to look bad in front of myself. Try explaining that to anyone who hasn’t had a couple of drinks. “All right, let them through,” he said. “But no weapons. Pass the word around. ” “Take weapons off people?” said Colon. “Think about it, Fre...
Er…there’s something else, sir. Er…” “Out with it, man. ” “I, er, think I recognized a few people. Up on the barricades. Er…they were some of ours, sir…” Vimes shut his eyes in the hope that the world might become a better place. But when he opened them, it was still full of the pink face of only-just Sergeant Colon. “...
There was something about the apparition that, despite the urgency, called for a kind of horrified yet fascinated study. “But I’m thinking of going for a soldier if I grow up,” Nobby went on, giving the major a happy grin. “Much better pickin’s, the way things are going. ” “I’m afraid you’ll never be tall enough,” said...
Just here Waddy and his mates had wedged two big carts across the road, and they’d become the nucleus of a solid wall of wood and rubble. But there was a narrow, low entrance for people to come through, which let them into the Republic with their head at just the right height for a gentle tap if they turned out to be s...
Vimes counted under his breath, and had only reached two when a cartwheel rolled out of the smoke and away down the road. This always happens. It wasn’t over, though. The oxen, tangled in the remains of the shafts and harness, and now an enraged joint creature that could only get six legs out of eight on the ground, he...
“No, it’s just that we’re under siege here, Reg. This is not the time. Let Sergeant Dickins sort it out. He’s a fair man, he just doesn’t like clipboards. ” “But supposing people get left out?” said Reg. “There’s enough for everyone to eat themselves sick, Reg. ” Reg Shoe looked uncertain and disappointed, as though th...
” “Good. Dig out a lieutenant who has been a bit slack lately and send him up to tell their lordships. ” “Isn’t that a bit cruel, sir?” “Of course it is. This is politics now. ” Lord Albert Selachii didn’t much like parties. There was too much politics. And he particularly didn’t like this one, because it meant he was ...
There was a brief exchange and then, without even a bow toward Lord Winder, all three men went out. “I shall just go and see to the arrangements,” said Madam and, without in any sense following the men, headed toward the doors. When she stepped into the hall, the two servants waiting by the cake stopped lounging and sn...
“Did you know we got another Assassin tonight? They keep trying, you know. Eleven years, and still they try. But I get ’em, every time, sneak about though they may. ” “Well done, my lord,” said Madam. It did help that he was an unpleasant person, ugly clear to the bone. In some ways, it made things easier. She turned a...
There is nothing like the zip and zing of arrows around them to make people nervous at their work. And the climbers were too bunched up. They had to be. If they tried attacking on a broad front there’d be three defenders to greet each man. So they were in one another’s way, and every falling man would take a couple mor...
Steal ’em if you haven’t got ’em. ” He shinned down the ladder. Well, then, that was it. It was over. Ring out bells, dance in the streets… “Sarge, did you mean that about helping them others with their wounded?” said Sam, who was standing at the bottom of the ladder. “Well, it makes as much sense as anything else that...
“Many a rough stone can be polished into a gem. ” “Exactly, my lord,” said the secretary, and he was thinking Exactly, my lord, too, because there were things he’d found it safest not to think, either, and these included phrases like What a little tit. “Where is my new Captain of the Guard?” “I believe Captain Carcer i...
” “Why? There were never that many rebels, we know that! Anyway, they won!” Now there was shouting outside, beyond the carts. Nothing like a cart for blocking the road… “Counterrevolutionaries, then?” Dickins suggested. “What, people who want to put Winder back in charge?” said Vimes. “Well, I don’t know about you, but...

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