reviewId int64 363k 588k | userId int64 33.9k 15.9M | itemId int64 1 1.42M | rating float64 1 10 | title stringlengths 1 10.9k ⌀ | content stringlengths 81 11.6k ⌀ |
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520,735 | 1,162,550 | 63,101 | 1 | Why , Hersel , why ? ? ? ? ? | A nerdy professor and his lecherous sleazy old man lab partner build robotic ladies cause he can't get any in real life . They use a machine that makes the most annoying sounds I have EVER heard ( well besides those that emanate from Al Franklin i mean ) . Supremely unfunny , boring , horribly acted , and a tedious LON... |
520,400 | 1,162,550 | 95,659 | 2 | It's a stiff | Brothers Sam and Max inherit a mortuary from their late uncle with the added stipulation that they must pass the Mortuary Academy which is run by Paul and Mary ( Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov from " Eating Raoul " ) . who don't want the brothers owning the mortuary and do everything in their power to stop them . This mo... |
519,856 | 1,162,550 | 88,019 | 2 | the 80's were so prosperous that even Eddie Deezen could find steady work | Sometime between " Bosom Buddies " and " Newhart " , Peter Scolari starred in this dud of a comedy as Elliot , a soft-spoken weak-willed guy who's badged by his fiancé into taking up the reigns of her father's ( Christopher Lee in a thankless role ) hotel in Florida , which her dad just wants to burn down for the insur... |
521,242 | 1,162,550 | 330,447 | 2 | NOT a chip off the old block | Santo's son has to fight a secret group of aliens who have lived beneath Earth's surface for some time after he figures out that his friend , The Blue Panther , is being mind controlled by them somehow . While the actions of the son doesn't tarnish the memories of old Santos movies , this movie was still pretty band an... |
520,663 | 1,162,550 | 493,404 | 2 | slow and deathly dull | I must admit upfront that seeing that sometime cohorts of Uwe Boll ( Micheal Roesch & Peter Scheerer ) wrote and directed this film did fill me with some dread , but I also resigned myself to watching all of the films in the " Ghost House Underground " set , so with great reluctance & extremely low expectations I poppe... |
519,591 | 1,162,550 | 286,069 | 2 | Drawing blood doesn't have to be THIS painful | A vampire's's henchman wants to call her after falling in love with a five-dollar hooker in this extremely low-budget horror-comedy . I can't explain all the positive comments on this movie . I'll chalk it up to mass hallucination , but it's disconcerting none the less . The one redeeming factor ( and this is me being ... |
520,323 | 1,162,550 | 493,409 | 2 | Idle minds meet Buffy rejects | This low-budget " From Dusk till Dawn " & ' Vamp " generic copy , starts off well enough with two clueless clowns ( Devon Sawa & Steven Schub ) going to a strip club that's filled with ghouls ( obvious ' buffy the vampire slayer ' rejects ) . But as it goes on , the films goes downhill fast . Sawa's reluctant ' hero ' ... |
519,531 | 1,162,550 | 382,692 | 2 | a real dog | While at the funeral of his father , Danny ( Writer / director Brett Kelly ) is attacked by something unseen . Refusing to go to a hospital despite the gash on his head , he instead finds himself at home later that night soaking in the bathtub . Meanwhile a dog & her owner are killed by something unseen . Danny , who h... |
520,390 | 1,162,550 | 101,325 | 2 | a boot to the head would sound more appealing | B . J . Quinn ( martial artist John Barrett ) has just gotten out of a one year stint in prison where he was sent after an accidental murder thanks to testimony by Jacques Denard ( Brad Morris ) . Now he has to train for a martial arts contest against his arch-rival Denard , with a paltry $100 , 000 on the line put up ... |
520,409 | 1,162,550 | 244,786 | 2 | A crap movie inside a crap movie | Low-budget producer King Faraday is a cranky mean slave-driver and his wife Candy is itching to kill him . She enlists the help of Lou , recently fired and evicted to help with her plans to use the movies he's currently working on as a cover for her nefarious deed . Candy gets King to re-hire Lou , which isn't hard sin... |
520,521 | 1,162,550 | 225,481 | 2 | you say Homage , I say Rip-off , let's call the whole thing off | A group of young filmmakers break into an old abandoned hospital to shoot a film and inadvertently open a portal that unleashes zombies on the hapless cast and crew in this horror-comedy . Mixing horror with comedy is a VERY tricky thing . The ones that work do so amazingly well ( Dead Alive , Return of the Living Dead... |
519,600 | 1,162,550 | 396,734 | 2 | don't follow this model | Ariella ( Juliana Kinkade ) daydreams about being a model as well as a secret agent , after her sister finds her a job as a model photographer's lackey . It's best to concentrate on the girls , as the storyline is silly and i HATE ending where it was all a dream anyway . But all the girls were unusually beautiful and t... |
521,154 | 1,162,550 | 960,144 | 2 | You DON'T watch the Zohan | An indestructible seemingly-super human Israili agent ( Adam Sandler ) fakes his own death at the hands of an equally indestructible seemingly-super human Palestinian agent ( John Turturro ) in order to go to America to become a hairdresser and make everyone ' silky smooth ' . The only job he can find is in a Palestini... |
521,188 | 1,162,550 | 303,732 | 2 | For hardcore Tiffany Shepis fans ONLY | Young adults in camp , masked killer , yada yada yada . . . Thankfully , I didn't see the first Bloody Murder , but the horrid buzz on it , coupled with the fact that it was directed by the supremely untalented Ralph Portiloo doesn't make me want to watch it anytime soon . The main reason I sat through this one was bec... |
519,808 | 1,162,550 | 801,349 | 2 | chock full of filler | Dina Lo Bianca ( Lorin Becker ) is out of the assassination game until she gets a call about one last job . The price is right and she's back in the thick of it again in this action movie by Mark Vasconcellos . This film is filled so heavily with filler material , that it takes 94 minutes for what could've been a 75 mi... |
520,610 | 1,162,550 | 167,045 | 2 | Carissa doesn't explain a thing | In a post-WWIII apocalyptic world , people continue to have sex , but now some of them have special powers such as telepathy . Meanwhile the government loyalist thy to find all the Rebels , of which Peter North is one . He has to avoid them as he's on his way home . I found this porn parody of " Mad Max Beyond ThunderD... |
521,083 | 1,162,550 | 451,085 | 2 | ' special ' effects on par with " the Thing Below " | With so-called ' special ' effects that may very well rival " the Thing Below " , this tale of giant intelligent bugs that terrorize sorority girls is bad in every possible way . The acting's awful , the plot's overtly stupid , and the aforementioned special effects make the whole thing laughable , if not for the fact ... |
520,938 | 1,162,550 | 365,513 | 2 | Annoying fat guy makes it a chore to sit through ( no not Haratio Sanz , a different one ) | This film has one huge strike against it from the get go . One huge fat obnoxious unfunny strike . You probably know where I'm going with this one , perhaps Justin Urich is good in other films he's been in , I don't know , and frankly judging from the total asinine idiotic pi$$ poor job he does here , I'd be happy if I... |
519,876 | 1,162,550 | 602,216 | 2 | one of the worst episodes of the series | Jerry Rulac tries in vain to get a good story for his reality TV show thats centered around nightclubs . He might get a bigger tale then he bargained for in this supremely boring and stupid episode of the Hitchhiker . The story never really goes anywhere and one could surmise that the episode was put on Volume 1 of the... |
520,909 | 1,162,550 | 202,470 | 2 | NOT a metal movie | Marky Mark is the lead singer in a cover band and gets to play with the band he worships after the fire their lead singer in this dud ' inspired VERY loosely by ' the story of Tim Owens of Judas Priest . The basic story of guy craves fame , gets it , screws a transvestite , parties , loses girl , quits band to cut his ... |
520,003 | 1,162,550 | 373,121 | 2 | put me to sleep | This is the ' making-of ' of one of the most over-rated ' slice-of-life movies of my lifetime . The cast talk about the obvious stuff and it doesn't illuminate how any of this movie would be adored by such ' intullectual ' morons . They go on and on about how great every other of the members of the cast are . I hate ma... |
519,877 | 1,162,550 | 602,203 | 2 | if i here the word Bango one more time . . . | A tabloid reporter ( Kirstie Alley ) will go to any length necessary to dig up the dirt on legendary rock musician Billy Baltimore , who's supposedly been dead for the last 20 years . This episode pretty much sucked , no one in it was relatable so you didn't really give a damn what happened to any of them thus removing... |
520,385 | 1,162,550 | 145,132 | 2 | dreadful | Softt-core period piece that has the ' action ' taking place during the days of the Roman Empire falls flat . Whereas " the Secret sex lives of romeo & Juliet " had it's quite attractive women to fall back on as well as a fews actually humorous jokes , this film has neither . The women are not that attractive ( and the... |
520,778 | 1,162,550 | 451,187 | 2 | Jacob's Ladder for idiots | Amy ( Mrs . Ben Stiller , Christine Taylor ) has to get over her deeply embedded fear of hospitals after her boyfriend is taken to St . Rosemary's after a horrific car accident . The problem is that that specific hospital doesn't seem to technically exist . She joins up with Lucas ( Jerry O'Connell from " Sliders " , "... |
521,080 | 1,162,550 | 485,909 | 2 | Believe it or not , it's just . . . a crappy movie | Christopher Guest need not worry , his supreme hold on the Mockumentary sub-genre is not in trouble of being upstaged in the least especially not by this extremely unfunny jab at RPG-gamers . The jokes are beyond lame . Not enough substance to last the typical length of a ( particularly rancid ) SNL skit , much less th... |
519,675 | 1,162,550 | 113,373 | 2 | a precursor to " Bloodletting " | This is a shorter earlier version of the movie " Bloodletting " and is located on the DVD of the aforementioned movie . I didn't like this one as much and I can easily see why the re-worked it & expended it to make the full length movie . I'm glad it's an extra on the DVD to see how far they had come , but at the same ... |
521,439 | 1,162,550 | 113,376 | 2 | 31 flavors of crap | Clint Howard , brother of more talented Ron , stars in this abysmally awful horror comedy about a mental case who serves ice cream to children and kills people . Striving to be a movie that's of the ' so bad that it's good ' variety , this film misses that mark by a good mile and instead has to be seen as ' so bad that... |
520,048 | 1,162,550 | 251,951 | 2 | pretty asinine | While mucking around on the school computer trying to change his grades , geeky Howard Duckell , receives a zap that imbues him with mind-controlling powers . Which he uses to embarrass his sister , school bully , and help his equally dorky friend out . He also has to deal with a scientist who's trying to take the powe... |
520,314 | 1,162,550 | 100,811 | 2 | obvious lame jokes fall flat | Jim Wynorski directed some extremely watchable B-movies in the beginning of his career . Deathstalker 2 , Chopping Mall , Sorority House Massacre 2 , to name a few . While all cheesy , they were all fun . This film , however , is not among his bests by a long shot . ( it IS however writer R . J . Robertson's best , but... |
519,646 | 1,162,550 | 252,028 | 2 | Watch this on a double-bill with " Christmas with the Kranks " if you're a COMPLETE masochist | Drew Latham ( Ben Affleck , who desperately needs another movie thats actually watchable ) is a brass wealthy young man who desperate to find someone to spend Christmas with decides to pay the family that now live in his boyhood home $250 thousand dollars ( initially ) to spend the holidays with them in order to recapt... |
520,642 | 1,162,550 | 435,705 | 2 | Next time choose to watch a better movie | Nicolas Cage is Chris Johnson an average Joe who happens to have the gift of seeing two minutes into his future ( ass well as every possible deviance therein ) , when the FBI learns of his peculiar gift they ( specifically Julianne Moore's character of Callie Ferris ) want him to help with preventing an imminent terror... |
521,146 | 1,162,550 | 382,011 | 2 | Lake of Ineptitute | Rebecca leaves for a night of drinking wanting to be home by ten but her mom essentially says , and I might be paraphrasing here " no hon go whore around , we don't want to see you back till late " . Of course she gets the message and sleeps with the first guy who gives he a kind of semi-compliment . As she'staking it ... |
520,776 | 1,162,550 | 995,033 | 2 | Parker lewis can't lose but Richard Speck sure can | Yet another low-budget film ' based ' on an infamous killer This time It's Richard Speck again ( an earlier 2002 movie already had mined the same territory ) To refresh a bit , Speck was the nut who killed eight student nurses from South Chicago Community Hospital on one ill-fated night . While this film does go into a... |
521,429 | 1,162,550 | 784,984 | 2 | the deepening ineptness | After an extremely badly lit double murder we move on to the meat of the movie , Ted ( Director Ted Alderman ) is a firefighter whom transfers out of New York to a small town , after stress from gets to him . Jim ( writer / co-director Jim O ' Rear ) is the only fellow firefighter who befriends him while the others thi... |
520,418 | 1,162,550 | 70,087 | 2 | rancid | Dave Dearborn ( Tom Keena , the most improbable action hero if ever there was one ) is a journalist in Singapore on a assignment on a crime boss . He's soon awash with dealings with strippers , nuclear scientists , CIA operatives , and large-toothed mobsters ( among others ) . The acting all around is atrocious , the p... |
520,254 | 1,162,550 | 104,512 | 2 | Awful | Inside Out contains 9 stories most of them deathly dull . 1 : ' Brush Strokes ' Drama-Jack , a painter , chooses to paint a nude Terry ( Barbara Alyn Woods from the Honey , I shrunk the kids TV show ) 2 : ' Shrink Rap ' : Drama - Beth Hogan tells her Psychiatrist about a rape fantasy she has . 3 : ' Doubletalk ' : Come... |
519,805 | 1,162,550 | 286,702 | 2 | Men are EVIL movie # 1 , 854 | A newlywed couple move into a new house and the feminine half ( AJ Cook ) of said couple believes that their is something askew with their new neighbors . Playing out like any given made-for Lifetime-esquire movie , the film has all the stereotypes and clichés of type of film . Battered woman ? check , all the men all ... |
519,645 | 1,162,550 | 109,323 | 2 | Like a Lifetime Network movie but with tits | Kari Wuhrer is Jennefer , a spousally battered woman , who takes to the streets of Toranto to escape her past where she meets Ola ( Rae Dawn Chong ) a ' hooker with a heart of gold ' who takes her under her wing . Of course it's only a matter of time before Jen starts turning tricks herself , which she does . But the m... |
520,666 | 1,162,550 | 360,361 | 2 | Even the best Polonia brothers film is still crap | The Polonia twins are not only Among Us , they continue to unleash mind-blowing crap like this two ( sometimes 3 ) per year . Sometimes with budgets soaring up to tens of dollars . Having suffered ( barely ) through mind-numbing utter crap like " Holla if I Kill You " , " House That Screamed " , it's sequel , AND Hells... |
520,142 | 1,162,550 | 1,131,749 | 2 | the law of diminishing returns | Small town girl Daisy ( Miriam McDonald of Degrassi : The Next Generation fame ) attempts to start anew , leaving her steady boyfriend and country life to go to a New England college . She soon becomes embroiled in the manipulation of the secretive feminist Ivy Society , a clandestine club who has many members as well ... |
520,094 | 1,162,550 | 382,443 | 2 | worst use of CGI that I ever witnessed | a drilling platform off the Gulf of Mexico raises the worst , most incompetent CGI sea creature that you're likely ever to see from deep under the ground . It breaks free of the containment that it's being held in and goes on a rampage . Apparently it can change people's perception of reality to ( I have no clue either... |
520,440 | 1,162,550 | 408,666 | 2 | Man oh man , these Vamps suck | What do you get when you throw in " Leprechaun in da hood " minus the leprechaun and mixing in vampires that are pretty fang-less , and adding a pinch of lesbians for no good reason other than to have lesbians in the mix ( I'll bet dollars to donuts that the producers dictated that they be in there somewhere ) ? Well i... |
519,853 | 1,162,550 | 330,068 | 2 | even Travelocity's garden gnome is scarier | Daniel ( Vinnie Bilancio ) , a crime scene photographer who's just recently back from a mental hospital , stumbles onto a devious plot involving the BDSM community , grisly murders , and gnomes ( make that invisible gnomes that only he can see via his broken inferred camcorder ) Of course no one believes him so it's up... |
520,758 | 1,162,550 | 1,208,647 | 2 | farther besmirches the name of the original Behind Enemy Lines | Two navy seals ( Joe Manganiello & Mr . Kennedy ) who , along with three others , have been sent to investigate some shady deals in Colombia have to rescue one of their own after he's captured by terrorists in an ambush , as well as avenge two other fellow seals who've died in the same raid . If that's not bad enough C... |
519,762 | 1,162,550 | 190,688 | 2 | too little Rambone | Dick Rambone gets mad when he founds out that his girlfriend , Suzy Q ( Rachel Ryan ) has been abducted by a white slavery ring . , infuriatingly he doesn't find out until late in the movie , and as such his screen time is minimum . the 2 scenes Rambone has are OK , well until Dead Eye joins and won't stop talking abou... |
520,220 | 1,162,550 | 902,280 | 2 | one of the worst games I beat twice | Xbox 360's achievement point system is both a blessing and curse . When you become addicted you can find great games that normally you wouldn't have given a chance . On the flip side you also play a lot of fairly awful games , This cheaply made movie cash in being squarely in the latter category . A lackluster storylin... |
521,214 | 1,162,550 | 427,688 | 2 | Dora the explorer ( of really crappy kills ) | After a quasi-Gothic , all-fruity music video , the movie starts with Cassidy the lead singer killing herself . In a perfect world that would be that and the end credits would roll . We don't live n that world . The insipid band members decide to go to some clown to contact her dead essence . When I say clown , I mean ... |
519,970 | 1,162,550 | 395,512 | 2 | horrible | Shiri Appleby is the cutest little embodiment of evil turned good girl demon-kicking Buffy clone , Elle . But I'm getting ahead of myself , you see Lilith was the first woman made by god as a companion to Adam . But she got all uppity evil feminist so god banished her from Eden . A clandestine order known as The Fath c... |
520,985 | 1,162,550 | 496,247 | 2 | Betrayal was their first mistake , renting this movie was mine | Nick Browning ( Levi Oliver ) is a disgraced ex-cop whose daughter has gone missing , his one and only goal being finding her for him and his estranged wife . After butting heads with his former colleague Fred Mears ( Rowdy Roddy Piper ) , he soon finds himself deeply involved in a conspiracy involving some people in h... |
519,560 | 1,162,550 | 370,015 | 2 | not really worth your time | This Cartoon Network special can be found as an extra on disk 3 of the " Looney Tunes Golden Colection Volume 1 " and is certainly a mixed bag of old " lost " cartoons . Contain greats like the Private Snafu short " Spies " and " Drafty , isn't it ? " The lackluster propeganda of " Anys bonds today ? " and " So much fo... |
519,739 | 1,162,550 | 67,145 | 2 | another Harry Novak produced turd | An ambitious mobster , Marko , makes the local brothel into a rousing success after double-crossing the mafia Don . This of course angers certain people who come after him . . As you suspect with a Harry Novak produced film , the plot is secondary to the sex and nudity . A strange note the Director , William Rotsler , ... |
519,724 | 1,162,550 | 280,590 | 2 | inDEEDly unwatchable | In this completely unnecessary and pathetic remake of the classic " Mr . Deeds goes to Town " , Adam Sandler stars as Longfellow Deeds a small time business owner who after inheriting a huge sum of money heads for the big city , where Winona Ryder , kleptomaniac that she is , steals his heart as a two-faced reporter . ... |
521,354 | 1,162,550 | 94,620 | 2 | inept in every way | A group of scientists looking for a cure for cancer , anger a big flabby black voodoo priest . So he does what all big flabby voodoo priests do , sends the legions of undead after them . All of them die , save for the little girl of one of the scientists . Now I'd think that seeing zombies rip open my parents would lea... |
521,427 | 1,162,550 | 82,467 | 2 | epic fail | After high school Track & Field athelete , Laura Remstead , dies of natural causes during a race ( an event that is shown multiple times , in slow-motion none-the-less ) , an unknown killer is murdering all the people who were on that same aforementioned team close to Graduation Day ( hence the name ) in this laughably... |
521,151 | 1,162,550 | 839,880 | 2 | Lake Dreadful | Three sisters , upon learning that their Grandfather that they never knew has recently died and left them a motel , decide to take a road trip with some friends to the property not knowing that some deviant lunatics are awaiting them there . Imagine " The Hills have Eyes " and " Texas Chainsaw Massacre " . Now imagine ... |
520,772 | 1,162,550 | 473,401 | 2 | They also excrete | A horror film involving a killer worm that seems to be more concerned with a love triangle between the characters of nice guy Andy , secretive Tina , and verbally abusive Eddie . Eddie gets with Pam as well so maybe it's a love rectangle . Who the hell knows ? or rather more honestly , who the hell cares ? ? All the ch... |
520,322 | 1,162,550 | 848,587 | 2 | ' The Asylum ' flat out HATES horror movie fans | Christopher Vale witnesses his mother brutally raped and killed before being hideously burned and being sent to a mental asylum . Years later some local dweebs get together and throw a party in a nearby cabin . But good old Chris has escaped from the nut-hut to terrorize them . This ' Asylum ' outfit has produced 50 so... |
519,643 | 1,162,550 | 113,762 | 2 | Why does the talented Englund continue to sign on for Tobe Hooper's crap ? ? ? ? | Wow , talk about an extremely apropo tag-line as indeed there IS a fate worse than death and that fate would revolve around having to watch this film ( or its unfathomable two sequels ) about a killer laundry folding machine that enjoys eating people . Horrible in nearly every aspect and isn't even unintentially funny ... |
521,048 | 1,162,550 | 417,240 | 2 | quit your jibberjab | This 21 minute documentary on the making of the movie " Mallrats " can be found on the now out of print Collector's Edition of that aforementioned movie . Featuring interviews with various cast and crew members their's a lot of pathetic comments thrown around like how the film would be a " smart Porky's " which is sacr... |
521,177 | 1,162,550 | 79,300 | 2 | so bad , SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad | A photographer strangles homely models after he photographs them he then meets a ugly girl who strangles bums . Really not much more of a plot and aside from some narration added in post production . This is a stupid stupid film and if I hadn't already watched " Schizophreniac : The Whore Mangler " , I would have thoug... |
521,449 | 1,162,550 | 144,280 | 2 | uniquely bad | Retelling the true crime story of former Los Angeles Raiders cheerleader and model Linda Sobek who was murdered by photographer Charles Rathburn . Combining real-life trial footage and news interviews with fictionalized recreations all told from the point of view of Sobek's spirit ( Trudi Jo Marie Keck ) , this film de... |
521,445 | 1,162,550 | 117,710 | 2 | Mark-Paul might be saved by the bell , but he needed to be saved by his agent | A child of extraterrestrial origins is found walking through the fires of a burning building . He's promptly adopted , but still has questions about where he came from . Years later , the boy , now a young man ( played by Mark-Paul Gosselaar of Saved by the Bell fame ) can start fires with his mind and frequently dream... |
520,453 | 1,162,550 | 278,259 | 2 | when music stars go bad | Roger Daltrey of The Who , has to leave town . So he lets his snoop untrusting wheelchair-bound wife alone with her sister . Of course the wife acts like a pre-teen girl & starts a fight with a psycho hacker who wants to kill them . It's up to Huey Lewis of Huey Lewis fame to save her before it's too late . When one wa... |
519,752 | 1,162,550 | 311,551 | 2 | too long | This featurette does show more then the first extra on " The One " disk I've just reviewed . It goes into how long the filming lasted , the techniques that went into the film , such as the different can of cable wires they used for the kung-fu sequences and how the nature of the film itself was changed when Dwane ' The... |
521,274 | 1,162,550 | 315,824 | 2 | The Small Fizzle | Con man Owen Wilson takes a job with D . A . Morgan Freeman after braining his former employer's foreman with a baseball bat . And starts an affair with the mistress of a well known businessman . I read Elmore Leonard avidly and I've seen most of the movies that were based on his stories , however I've never seen the o... |
520,777 | 1,162,550 | 486,666 | 2 | boring | Five young adults head off to Mexico in search of some waves that one of the group's brother said were great down there . But when they get there the brother and his friends are nowhere to be found . They soon clash with demented ( possibly demoniacally infected ) locals . The acting was serviceable if nothing special ... |
519,507 | 1,162,550 | 257,106 | 2 | Rushed and awful | Lame , unfunny , unnecessary sequel that was rushed into production just to capitalize on the original when it because a surprise sleeper hit . Cindy , Ray , Shoty & Brenda are back this time they all find themselves being tricked into going to a haunted mansion . Where as the first film was actually watchable and pret... |
521,209 | 1,162,550 | 75,163 | 2 | Art-house exploitation | Kitty Kellermann ( Ingrid Thulin ) runs a bordello for the Nazis in WW2 where numerous atrocities are committed . An army official has bugged the place hoping to usurp power from Hitler . It has amputee sex , midget sex , and hunchback coupling . Bothed home made abortions and it's not a straight out exploitation film ... |
520,495 | 1,162,550 | 1,104,006 | 2 | It's apropos that a film about a demolition turns out to be such a devastating bomb | The O . C . ' s Mischa Barton stars as Sam Walczak , a demolition engineer whom first job is to demolish a building located in the desolate swamps of Scotland . Upon arriving she finds that the building isn't as empty as she was led to believe ( some tenants have inexplicably stayed ) , as well as the fact that the loc... |
521,414 | 1,162,550 | 82,696 | 2 | what a stupid name Marz is for a serial killer | A group of campers ( including Gaylen Ross from the original " Dawn of the Dead " are gathered around a campfire hearing the tale of Madman Marz , not before hearing it sung to them ( no , I only wish I was kidding ) . Marz is a ridiculous name and whenever anyone utters it ( which is very VERY often ) I cringed inside... |
520,373 | 1,162,550 | 44,659 | 2 | Bah Humbug | This animated short can be seen on Disc 3 of the Looney Tunes Golden Collection Volume 2 , it feature Sylvester cat who I like , Tweety bird who I'm not a fan of , and Granny whom I dislike worse then Tweety bird . Needless to say I really didn't care for this cartoon at all . It's nice that it's unedited for once . Bu... |
521,199 | 1,162,550 | 1,084,697 | 2 | first Katrina and now this . . . . poor new Orleans | Mexican drug-lord Santiango ( Armando Leduc ) escapes from prison looking for the 15 million dollars he asked his girl to hold on to for him , but she skipped town . Enter Travis ( Ameer Baraka ) , a cop , who protects the girl from the evil drug-lord . Travis's partner Ray ( Kris Kristofferson ) is close to retirement... |
519,685 | 1,162,550 | 439,238 | 2 | like a late-night Cinemax ' erotic thriller ' WITHOUT the titillation | In this strictly paint-by-numbers direct to video thriller , Detective Max Garret ( Stephen Baldwin ) is assigned to protect Laura Cross ( Kristy ' I STILL refuse to get nude ' Swanson ) . Of course even though he's married to a stunning women , he feels chemistry with Laura and vice versa . It's not really that intere... |
519,757 | 1,162,550 | 75,261 | 2 | Where's Earthworm Jim when u need him ? ? | A town is besieged with killer earthworms . Yes as ridiculous as it sounds . Ah , Jeff Lieberman , damn him for making crap like " The Never Ending Story 3 " , " Remote Control " , and " The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd " shudders . Makes me think his " Blue Sunshine " was a one-off , in that I actually sorta kinda va... |
519,538 | 1,162,550 | 114,334 | 2 | Well it will have you snoozing | Gary , a rather bad dime-store romance novelist , soon after watching a sensationalist tabloid news show about the recent rash of people that have been dying in their sleep , is worried about his girlfriend who is having trouble sleeping ( he's an insomniac himself ) So when his war veteran neighbor tells him about the... |
519,534 | 1,162,550 | 312,263 | 2 | generic , forgettable , and very bad | Brinke Stevens is only in the film for all of seven minutes or so during the pre-credits sequence . A group of seven friends take a trip up to the camping grounds in Whitewater River , discount the legend of a local nut who escaped from a mental facility who only murders on full moons of leap years ( never mind the fac... |
521,359 | 1,162,550 | 86,501 | 2 | how could a film with midgets be so bad ? ? ! ! ? | In the future of the 1990's , men are impotent and the President has no clue why . So he along with his cabinet head down to another country to see if they really are not impotent like Mr . Sugerman says . It turns out Mr . Sugerman is an alien out for global domination . It's up to another alien named Ultra Flesh ( Se... |
520,177 | 1,162,550 | 1,249,412 | 2 | The Key to happiness is to avoid this film | A group of friends go to an abandoned building under the belief that they'll be shooting a documentary on it's haunted past , but Dylan , the guy who spearheaded going up to the apartment , really has plans to search for a hidden treasure within the house , supposedly , \ hidden by his grandfather who was a Freemason .... |
520,976 | 1,162,550 | 374,519 | 2 | repackaged crap | A group of human looking aliens going to Earth to eat crash land on a planet of prehistoric beasts instead where they all eat physcedelic mushrooms and act retarded . Padded with footage from " Planet of the Dinosuars " and horrible jokes this is definitely one to miss . The acting is atrocious as well , and while this... |
521,295 | 1,162,550 | 105,507 | 2 | Rancid Injustice | Sunny ( Finn Carter ) gathers her kick boxing girlfriends and a cop ( Marc ' the Beastmaster ' Colton ) to get revenge after her sister is killed by a toxic waste dumping creep by the name of Billy Joe ( the late Frank Gorshin known always as The Riddler from the old Batman show ) . We know he's ' evil ' from the get g... |
519,747 | 1,162,550 | 426,906 | 2 | precious minutes from my life I can NEVER get back | Amber , a bitter , spiteful , extremely vain ex-beauty model goes on her day by day wheelings and dealings as she's queen of her county after the apocalypse has come and gone . Sylvie ( Courtney Kocak ) narrates the film and tells her tale of how so met Amber . Gunner Hansen is also on hand as an old man who takes Sylv... |
519,595 | 1,162,550 | 117,188 | 2 | No Contest that this is horrible | Shannon Tweed is back fighting terrorists , but this time Lance Henrikson fills in for both Rowdy Roddy Piper and Andrew Dice Clay . I prefer the first one , even though I like Henrikson as an actor . This one is tedious to sit through and not nearly as fun as the film that preceded it . The fights are put together in ... |
520,088 | 1,162,550 | 101,670 | 2 | lame film on the screen | Six friends plan to fix up an old house that one of them bought . But after one moron breaks the husband murdering previous owner's tombstone in half , she comes back to life and starts killing them . They in turn become zombies themselves . But they don't act like typical zombies in the least . Just the opposite some ... |
521,318 | 1,162,550 | 425,026 | 2 | lame | This 19 minute fan-film / Spoof of " Buffy the Vampire Slayer " , aside from having most of the characters being English ( aside from the Gile's counterpart who acts American ) , this really adds nothing and just wishes to get by on being an English version ( oh and a really crappy Star Wars bit ) Most of the cast is s... |
519,503 | 1,162,550 | 461,273 | 2 | worthless promo piece | I like Making of featurettes mainly when they're made in hind sight and in retrospective , and when I see one that's made and released before the film even comes out it just reeks of less of a Making of and more like a standard cut and paste promotional spot . Such is the case with this one that originally aired on the... |
519,461 | 1,162,550 | 94,961 | 2 | An idyllic childhood memory tarnished by cold hard reality | Piscopo and Treat Williams are two bumbling cops stumble across a scheme to bring the dead back to life . When Williams gets killed in the life of duty , he gets re-animated . Did I say that his character's name is Roger Mortis yet ? ? ( Not laughing yet ? ? Yeah neither am I ) Dead zombie cops , re-animated chickens I... |
519,767 | 1,162,550 | 82,379 | 2 | the Slasher version of " 1941 " ( high star power , terrible movie ) | Should have known something was up when I saw Jon George and Neill Hicks to of the men responsible for the horrid " Escape 2000 " also wrote this one . This film is only good as a curiosity as many of the actors went onto MUCH better things . Adrian Zmed later starred in the great " Bachelor Party " , Lewis Smith starr... |
520,311 | 1,162,550 | 374,563 | 2 | a huge disappointment | What do you get when you combine the indisputable talents of Director Roland Joffe ( of the award winning " The Mission " , " The Killing Fields " ) and screenwriter Larry Cohen ( cult classics " Q " and " God Told me to " ) ? Sadly a rancid concoction of Torture porn that makes Eli Roth's sub-par Hostle look amazing i... |
520,321 | 1,162,550 | 385,592 | 2 | huge letdown | I decided to give this one a try from the pretty positive reviews , silly me , I thought this tale of a mild mannered librarian turned psycho killer had some potential . But the sad truth was that everything about this mess of a film is simply awful . From the porn-caliber acting to the lame ass comedy . The special ef... |
521,374 | 1,162,550 | 114,448 | 2 | Kills via incompetence | The level of acting in the film about an ex-cop in the wilderness who only looks to kill the murderers of his family when the happen to stumble over him is atrocious . The action stunted . And the plot clichéd to no end . Fred Williamson is a cool actor , but as a director he just doesn't cut it . Avoid at all costs , ... |
520,625 | 1,162,550 | 101,467 | 2 | Demoni 3 - Viewers 0 | Two Americans and an English man brake down while driving in Brazil . They meet a couple & stay at a cursed house . Then the " Black Demons " ( or to the politically correct " African-American living-challenged ) , who are dead former slaves stick it to the Man by killing Whitey ( how's THAT for reparations ? ? ! ! ? )... |
521,160 | 1,162,550 | 914,364 | 2 | Torture to sit through | Oh when oh when will I learn not to let my absolute adoration of Lance Henrikson make me sit through even extremely bad films Ie . pretty much anything post - " Millennium " . This brain-dead little number is no different . Attempting to tie a Iraq war film with a supernatural ghost story may work on paper , but this i... |
519,783 | 1,162,550 | 455,960 | 2 | I'd rather stick out my middle finger , than my thumb | The original Hitcher film was a nice little understated horror flick . There is nothing understated about this brain dead remake , Sean Bean ( usually a very capable actor ) has his talents wasted as John Ryder ( a role that Rutger Hauer made his own in the original ) . The two protagonists are so borderline mentally r... |
519,975 | 1,162,550 | 197,115 | 2 | Rage of the aggravated video renter | A group of teens have their car break down in the middle of nowhere . They seek shelter in a farmhouse . But three murderous convicts are there killing the owner of said farmhouse and his family . One of them accidentally brings zombies around by knocking over a scarecrow . Cue blood , gore , carnage , bad acting . Bet... |
521,446 | 1,162,550 | 248,974 | 2 | Stupid decisions made by stupid people | Ronnie ( Adam Scott , who'd later go on to parts in Step Brothers & the Matador ) is a sad sack loser of a guy who works at a halfway house for the mentally disabled . He grows infatuated by Sara , one of the residents when he spies her naked n the bathroom . So much is his fondness that later when he sees her standing... |
520,702 | 1,162,550 | 200,940 | 2 | The paper thin one-joke premise gets stale fast | Three miniature anatomically correct clay-mated aliens travel to Earth to see how humans have evolved . They decide to make a human / vacuum cleaner hybrid just for giggles , but their plan is contingent on someone having their way with a vacuum cleaner . A local bum more than happily obliges . However the resulting hy... |
520,519 | 1,162,550 | 384,537 | 2 | quick name a great movie based on video game | If you're stumped , don't worry it was a trick question . The answer is there are none . Sadly that trend doesn't stop with this wretched excuse for a game . First of all , if you haven't even played the games , don't go see this film . The two mediums are strongly interwoven ( more so than any other previous film of t... |
520,832 | 1,162,550 | 76,015 | 2 | An pitiful attempt to cash-in on the first | Harry , an old school cranky newspaper reporter helps a new girl reporter answer some sex letters for the " Dear Collete " advice column that she's taking over from him . She reads letters involving sex in the library , school locker room , drive-in rape , an elevator threesome lesbian action in the barn , and sex in c... |
519,781 | 1,162,550 | 147,337 | 2 | what a bad MOOOOOOOvie | The title refers to a cow that's the object of Pa Willard's ( Patrick Wright ) idiot hick son , Junior ( John Tull ) . Pa spends his time between making moonshine ( like any respectable hillbilly ) , bedding the local ladies , and attempting to get said ladies to seduce Junior to get his fixations off that damn cow . D... |
520,419 | 1,162,550 | 275,322 | 2 | unbearable | Mike Atkinson plays the Master in this surreal little soft-core film of the late 60's . The Master is a peeping tom who sends his minion to fellow various women around with a video camera , the images being sent back to the Masters lair where he can enjoy it in solitary . Way too Avant garde for my tastes , I found the... |
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