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521,330
1,162,550
48,320
3
take solace in the fact that the ' goofy gophers ' were never heard of again , at least
Two British gophers are storing their nuts for the weekend , when they find that much of their tree has been taken away which they have to find and bring it back . ' Goofy Gophers ' indeed , try ' utterly lame never heard from again ' gophers . I hold Looney Tunes shorts to a higher standard and when said standard isn'...
520,450
1,162,550
227,113
3
He's not heavy , he's my brother
The brother of the zombified rapist from the first film goes around raping and killing various women . When he visits his brothers grave , his vomit and urine resurrects the undead zombie , who does his undead raping thing . Both detectives are back after them , thus negating the end of the first one ( that's just plai...
519,633
1,162,550
95,043
3
better then I expected , still nothing special
Two sisters , their perverted brother , and their cousin have car trouble . They then happen about the home of Dr . Hackenstein whom conveniently needs the body parts of three nubile young women to use in an experiment to bring his deceased lover back to life . He tells them that he'll help them get home in the morning...
521,244
1,162,550
339,531
3
Bigfoot can always be counted on for a Big snooze
A group of forest rangers and scientists go into the woods to find fossils . They stumble on a Bigfoot burial ground eventually ( the didn't notice it in the dark ) , The scenes of the CGI Bigfoot are horrid , but better than the endless scenes of talking that they rarely punctuate . I used to think that there just mig...
520,340
1,162,550
117,177
3
disappointed
Unlike most of the reviewers of this particular movie , I'm really not the much of a Cynthia Rothrock fan , to say the least . However when I saw that the movie had Fred Williamson and Robert Forster ( both great actors ) , I just had to watch the film . Williamson is a Dakota Smith , an alcoholic cop who is demoted to...
521,167
1,162,550
273,517
3
Some movies should never see the light of day
X-men's Anna Paquin is Regina , a typical rebellious teen who moves with her parents and kid brother back to the remote house that the father grew up in . Sooner then you can say " the Shining " the father starts acting a bit loony and the kid brother is getting the stuffing kicked out of him by . . . The Darkness . No...
521,234
1,162,550
667,963
3
ooh , witchy woman
Perhaps having Ann Hamilton , known for primarily chick flick TV , write this episode wasn't such a good idea , as this episode starring a young pre-American Beauty Thora Birch about a secret coven of witches who take interest in a young girl who's one of them and the government who dislikes them is basically the equiv...
519,481
1,162,550
365,830
3
Sadly uses up all it's creative juices in the beginning
Tenacious D rock , director Liam Lynch rocks , and the old HBO TV show rocks , so to say that I was looking forward to this film is an understatement . Making Meatloaf JB's father was a stroke of genius , but sadly nothing to do after the beginning his character disappears from the film ( except for a lame hallucinatio...
521,468
1,162,550
82,338
3
Escape this dreck ( MINOR SPOILER )
A variation of " the most Dangerous Game " set in the future , Australian-style . I'd have ignored the main baddie being named Thatcher , a direct swipe to a then-current political figure in England , if the rest of the movie was entertaining . But it takes 45 minutes to get to the action part & by then , thanks to a w...
520,391
1,162,550
304,166
3
this movie is BAAAAAAAd
Reverand Salo Jr . invites five teenage druggies who escape from rehab to come to his secluded house on a promise of salvation . Salo Jr . and his wife's daughter , Grace , is very unhappy , but keeps getting dreams and visions of her grand-father , Salo Sr . ( Kreskin , whom I refuse to call him ' Amazing ' ) . Some o...
521,349
1,162,550
359,013
3
Third time is NOT the charm
Blade has to join with a group of " Nightstalkers " to defeat Dracula himself , after he's set-up by killing a human disguised as a vampire . I enjoyed the first two Blade movies . But this one left me cold . The introduction of the unneeded and unfunny " comedy " side-kicks , combined with David Goyer's poor directing...
520,097
1,162,550
63,977
3
Why do I even bother with Franco ?
Maria has been sent to a prison on an remote island where the warden is giving kickbacks to the warden of the mens ' prison on the other side of the island via his choice of girl inmates . Naturally he has his eye on fresh meat Maria . The government gets a whiff of the corruption and sends a plant in to investigate th...
520,459
1,162,550
343,621
3
puuhhhllleeeezzee
This mini-documentary did nothing for me . You have a guy , David , who is talking of Edith eccentricities of those glasses , while wearing what looks like something Seinfeld was tricked into wearing on the Tonight Show in one of the better Seinfeld episode . I mean please , paging Mr . Blackwell , you're needed at the...
519,946
1,162,550
359,067
3
too repetitive
This 18 minute featurette can be located on New Line's Infinifilm DVD release of " Final Destination 2 " . It features interviews of people who had near-death experiences . And gives a brief outline of what the meaning and behind the phenomenon is , as well as a history of it . It's not really all the convincing . But ...
520,814
1,162,550
374,664
3
rotten meat
This featurette contains interviews with pretty much all the cast , director , producer and whatnot . But none of them say much of anything . After watching it , you're thinking to yourself : " Self , that was much to do about nothing " In fact all the extras that can be found on the " Wrong Turn " DVD are all fluffy a...
521,282
1,162,550
376,836
3
refer to the Z rule
Having some free time on my hands I decided to watch some short films on Atomfilms . " Prison Warz " is just Kung-Fu set to techno music . If you've been following my reviews , you'd know that I made a rule after suffering through " Party Animalz " not to trust films with the letter Z where S should be . Yup , that rul...
521,263
1,162,550
266,066
3
mindless drivel
Bred all her life to be an assassin , Shion is the best at what she does . But when she develops a conscience for no reason whatsoever , choosing to go home and masturbate with her gun rather than kill her mark , her clergy bosses ( Yup they're involved in this too , the bad clergy is pretty much a groan-worthy movie c...
521,170
1,162,550
80,379
3
sewer dwelling
Norman Hopper ( the great John Saxon ) is on a mission to save Prisiners of war while on a tour of duty in Vietnam . He and his men find the POWs , but they seem to have been overwhelmed by cannibalism and one bites Hopper on the arm . This turns out to be a recurring nightmare that Norman has of his time in that war ....
519,902
1,162,550
173,840
3
Fantisize a better movie
A scientist must protect the fragile planet while finding a way to destroy aliens after being infected . The plot doesn't matter and is paper thin anyway . The character's one-dimensional and boring . Even the combined talent of James Woods , Steve Buscemi , and Donald Sutherland are unable to save this colossal bore f...
520,439
1,162,550
388,419
3
Stick to courtroom dramas , Mr . Grisham
When Luther and Nora Krank ( Tim Allen and Jamie Curtis respectively ) decide to take a sea cruise in leu of having a Christmas of an kind , in part because their daughter Blair will be in the Peace Corps , their neighbors don't take the news particularly well , which draws the ire of Vic Frohmeyer ( Dan Aykroyd ) the ...
519,993
1,162,550
1,031,254
3
lacks the fangs of the original
Newly transplanted to California , siblings Chris and Nicole soon find themselves up to the necks in vampires ( headed by Angus Sutherland , Kiefer's half-brother ) Chris must deal with the tribe of bloodsuckers ( with the help of one half of the Frog brothers duo , namely Edgar , Corey Feldman reprising his role from ...
519,870
1,162,550
453,453
3
Wastes the talents of Lange
Artie Lange can be extremely funny when he wants to as evidenced on Howard's Serius radio show , sadly that's not really in evidence in the fifty millionth " Bad News Bears " remake . Artie plays a character named Artie who's the pitcher of a pretty bad minor softball team who of course is in conflict with a rival bett...
520,955
1,162,550
398,712
3
Precinct 13 ( now with 80 % more ghetto )
It's New Year's eve , a cop-killer ( in the form of , Laurence Fishburne ) end up at a precinct that's closing down due till snow . When the people are layed siege on , cops have to team up with cons to survive . This re-make of the John Carpenter classic just had to add a few beyond stupid plot twists , take out all t...
521,006
1,162,550
457,297
3
lame in name only sequel
Nick Larson is devastated when his lover and friends are killed in a car accident . One year later , he finds that he can go back in time to change history . Having nothing at all to do with the Ashton Kutcher vehicle , this in name only sequel isn't nearly as edgy or dark . In fact the movie is tame , lifeless , and v...
520,763
1,162,550
68,306
3
not enough to chew on
Yaphet Kotto is Bone , a bulky black man , ( as well as thief & rapist ) . He appears in the life of Bill ( Andrew Duggan ) & Bernadette ( Joyce Van Patten ) , a seemingly rich white couple . Bone is a hodge-podge of a movie with something social commentary to say . That's not to say it's a bad movie ( it does have shi...
521,407
1,162,550
262,368
3
very ' 70's
This 22 minute short , short of a precursor to the later much better " Rock and Rule " , features two folk singer mice who are going nowhere . The female mouse , Jan , signs a deal with the devil to become a hit rock star . So it's up to Daniel Mouse to save her soul . Made in the late ' 70's this has all the trappings...
520,601
1,162,550
328,376
3
Worst W . I . P . film I've ever seen
Yoko Saito , who astute observers will remember from Takashi Mike's " White Collar Worker Kintaro " , stars as the titular Scorpion , who goes to jail after circumstantial evidence convicts her of blowing up her hubby in her car . Of course she's innocent and survives jail long enough to break out and find the real cul...
521,211
1,162,550
116,514
3
an incoherent mess
By the time the Hellraiser franchise was reaching it's forth film the premise was wearing a bit thin . Dr . Paul Merchant ( Bruce Ramsey ) is a scientist in the future , whom while prisoner regales his captor of the story of how his ancestors ( all played by Ramsey ) had first built the evil Lament Configuration puzzle...
520,173
1,162,550
75,801
3
Old stale jokes
No real plot to this one , just a series of short skits acting out some VERY old jokes . I chuckled once or twice in the beginning , much to my chagrin . But even at only 73 minutes this film wears out it's welcome before too long and becomes stale and tedious ( with some nudity sprinkled in here and there to keep you ...
520,301
1,162,550
457,433
3
perfect garbage
Truth be told the only reason I even gave the movie a chance is because Bruce Willis was in it , being a big fan of his , I decided to overlook the terribly contrived trailer . Sometimes trailers can be misleading , sadly this is not the case and I was treated ( for lack of a better term ) to a terribly contrived movie...
520,785
1,162,550
169,299
3
more isn't always better
Larry Benjamin ( a thinly veiled Lloyd Kaufman , playing more or less himself ) is in the midst of shooting a movie , while all around him ghastly murders are being committed to people associated with the film . All of the " plot " is just a flimsy device to have more blood , guts , bad-taste , vulgarity , and general ...
521,003
1,162,550
457,510
3
A lifeless and unfunny Two Stooges
Ignacio ( Jack Black ) is a cook in a Mexican orphanage who , along with a common vagabond , chooses to moonlight as a Luchador in order to win money for said orphanage . He is constantly ridiculed by the monks , the only one to show compassion towards him being the beautiful Sister Encarnacion whom he has a secret cru...
519,456
1,162,550
118,652
4
too many twist
Trevor ( Andras Jones from Nightmare on Elm Street 4 and Sorority babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-Rama ) kills his girlfriend and is sentenced to a stay in the half way house for loons by Dr . Elk ( genre staple Jeffrey Combs ) . But things are not nearly what they seem . I wanted to like this I really did , and to it's ...
520,266
1,162,550
462,482
4
Highly derivative but not bad enough to hold in contempt
Steve , a census-taker ( Jeremy Sisto , Six Feet Under and Law & Order ) is sent to Rockwell Falls on an assignment , a small isolated town of 436 who harbor a dark secret which they'd rather not let the outside world know about . Unfortunately , Steve has to spend some time there as his tires have a flat . Instantly h...
520,817
1,162,550
264,395
4
Dirty Sanchez of a movie
John Travolta is a DEA agent investigating the disappearance of Samuel Jackson and his platoon . What follows is he said / she said / they said that works for a little while , but just degenerates into a convoluted mess . Plus they have to make the film P . C . of course , by adding a petite woman to the gang of gung-h...
521,115
1,162,550
118,608
4
Such wasted talent
Nicholas Walker is Paul , the local town Reverand who's married to Martha ( Ally Sheedy ) , but also is a habitual womanizer and decides to fake his own death to run away with his current affair , Veronica ( Dara Tomanovich ) . However in so doing , he gets a bout of amnesia ( hence the name of the film ) . Sally Kirkl...
519,468
1,162,550
325,258
4
David Spade : Former funny semi-star
David Spade and Fred Wolf's follow up to " Joe Dirt " , about Dickey Roberts , a former child star trying to re-live a childhood that he never lived in the first place for a role in a film , while having it's moments ( moments that are way to far apart ) , ultimately is a failure . I'm more liable to put the blame of t...
519,648
1,162,550
105,156
4
alright if you catch it in the right mood
Drew Barrymore plays a nameless teenage seductress given the nickname of ' Ivy ' who moves in with lonely , sexually confused adopted Sylvie Cooper ( Sara Gilbert of " Roseanne " fame ) and her family . It isn't long before she's seducing Sylvie's father ( Tom Skerritt ) , much to the chagrin of Sylvie . Barrymore is p...
520,309
1,162,550
462,538
4
warmed over overly long episode of the Simpson felt like it could've been on Fox in segments
Matt Groening and company are unmitigated geniuses I tell you . If their plan all along was to make the regular Simpsons TV show and make it progressively more and more awful , such as the case of the series for the last 7 years , and get it to the point of sub-par barely watchable shell of the glory that it once was ....
519,843
1,162,550
607,764
4
Sonya the ice queen
Breast implant winner , Sonya , whom everyone feels is a crazy bitchy ice queen ( an assessment i'm likely to agree with based on this interview ) , comes in to confess her love to Artie , later she's joined in studio by porn star Rhiannon Bray , whom gets spanked . These 2 episodes ( combined and uncensored on Howard ...
519,677
1,162,550
338,145
4
it's only a documentary , it's only a documentary , it's . . .
In this barely thirty minute featurette , it covers the basics of what went into making the low-budget film . The cast , writing , advertisements , how they came up with the title and the advertising campaign are all covered fairly well . OK , granted that Wes Craven didn't come off as much of a pompous little jerk as ...
519,836
1,162,550
420,476
4
Brittany is hot
Having some free time on my hands I decided to watch some short films on Atomfilms . " 1465 Westerly " is a VERY short 2 minute ghost story . I never felt like it was a real full story in anyway and seemed like a movie snippet . As such I couldn't really get into it at all . I WILL tell you one thing though and that is...
521,084
1,162,550
493,430
4
turning the gay up to 11
Yea I know this film ( and films of it's ilk ) are pretty much review-proof and as such it's a tad futile to try to critique the film in any conventional sense . Of course that won't stop me from trying . Johnny , Bam , Steve-O , wee man , and the rest of the Jackass gang are out for another series of unrelated idiotic...
520,262
1,162,550
466,745
4
Proof I'll watch Reed Diamond in just about anything
Reed Diamond plays a man suffering from amnesia who's been in a mental asylum for over a decade after he was found wondering the back roads with blood on his hands . The doctors want to test out an experimental new drug that'll return his lost memories if it works . But when the drugs give him hallucinations of a demon...
519,785
1,162,550
493,452
4
hopelessly derivative plot , but done well enough
Kristel ( Victoria Koblenko ) after a night out partying is on her way home with her father . He's angry that she keeps secrets from him and is not paying attention to the road which results in a horrible car crash which in turn takes her father's life . After the funeral Kristel goes on a tour of a mineshaft ( Kristel...
519,723
1,162,550
337,921
4
the longest Nokia ad I've ever sat through
Ryan , a hopeless loser ( Chris Evans of Not another Teen Movie and Fantastic Four ) , gets a call from a kidnapped wife and mother who is kidnapped and needs his help to get her , her kid and husband out alive in the ' logic be damned ' popcorn action movie . None of the actors come close to acting as good as the true...
519,958
1,162,550
87,903
4
well the first half was enjoyable . . . . .
80's metal band Whitesnake's sultry siren Tawny Kitaen is extremely lucky in some ways ( ie . she dated OJ Simpson and lived to tell the tale ) . but decidedly unlucky in deciding this as her first feature film . Kitaen plays the titular role of Gwendoline who , with some help , is trying to find her father and a rare ...
519,465
1,162,550
361,462
4
Why not make it a REAL documentary ? ?
Mark Hammill plays Donald Swan , an elderly comic nerd who attends a con cause he loves Commender Courage ( a made-up creation for the movie ) . If Hamill just made a straight up documentary , this film wouldn't be half as bad . As it is , the jokes are stale , and the guest stars including Kevin Smith , Bruce Campbell...
520,284
1,162,550
167,283
4
Miami Placcid
The very lovely Amber Lynn , Barbara Dare , Candie Evens , Sheri St . Claire and Michelle Verran ( pre - Sorority House Massacre 2 , in her film debut ) star in this parody of a popular cop show which with a name like " Miami Spice " , it's obvious that it's a parody of " Starsky and Hutch " Don't quote me on that thou...
520,290
1,162,550
195,250
4
metaphysical porn
Chris ( Richard Pacheco ) seeks out Madame Lau ( A decidedly NON-Asian , pre - " The Grafenberg Spot " Annette Haven ) for guidance in all things sexual . Lau speaks some psychoanalytical mumbo-jumbo , after cleaning Chris's pipes , naturally . And introduces him to his idea of a ' dream girl ' , who buffs his baloney ...
520,707
1,162,550
1,219,820
4
good up to the ending soured me off the film
Kate , a business woman in her mid-twenties , is having nightmares of her closest friends winding up dead that seem to become reality in this tense , slightly unnerving little film dealing with dopplegangers . Made on a shoe-string budget over a couple of mere months this sci-fi tinged thriller is pretty damn good ( fo...
519,694
1,162,550
368,688
4
strictly by the book
Dolph Ludgren is Frank Gannon , a cop who was in the D . A . U ( Direct Action Unit ) a special unit of elite cops focusing on gang violence , drugs , and prostitution . Billie Ross ( Polly Shannon ) is a female detective trainee who Gannon is assigned to show the ropes to . Other cops are after him after he goes to th...
519,963
1,162,550
1,204,979
4
good for a DTV horror film , but still mediocre
This prequel to the Kate Beckinsale-starring Vacancy , this film doesn't break any new ground & pretty much plays as a retread of the first film ( minus the nifty underground sequences ) . Agnes Bruckner stars as Jessica , one of a trio of young adults who have the bad sense of checking into a motel whose owners are co...
520,044
1,162,550
497,432
4
It isn't all the Rage
A crazed Russian doctor ( Andrew Divoff of Wishmaster ) experiments with a deadly new virus that turns people ( and birds ) into bloodthirsty mutants gets in hot water when the virus gets loose and starts infecting those in the surrounding area creating havoc for a group of teens who were out partying at an outdoor Mus...
521,149
1,162,550
330,691
4
care for a game of craps ?
Policewoman Anna Mari ( Stefania Rocca ) who has to watch a woman die via web-cam after her superior won't let her play on-line video poker with the killer . Enter stereotypical Irish detective , John Breenan ( Liam Cunningham from " Dog Soldier " ) , who of course drinks heavily and sings ' Danny Boy ' . It's up to th...
520,739
1,162,550
66,407
4
tedious days in Paris
Joey , a writer , and Carl , a Frenchman , are two bohemians living in Paris spending all their time looking for more poon . All the women are slut and / or mentally unstable and stupid only good for what's between their legs in their world view and the film itself seems to suggest that the idea is true . Based loosely...
520,710
1,162,550
160,434
4
too much like a made for Lifetime movie for my tastes
An agoraphobic woman , a victim of a violent rape , suspects that her new male roommate who loves to cook is up to something a tad more sinister ( But not before getting romantically involved with him ) . This film is 1 part thriller to 2 parts romantic drama , not really that good of a ratio in my eyes , but the film ...
521,053
1,162,550
285,761
4
just fluff , nothing more , nothing less
This 22 minute promo piece was originally aired on Fox network a tad before the film was released . It can be found as an extra on the single-disk version of the " X-men " DVD . Masquerading as a news report on the Senate Hearings on the Mutant Registrating Act that Senator Robert Kelly is sponsoring that if mutants WE...
520,816
1,162,550
210,065
4
Warmed-over gangster film
Malcolm McDowell narrates his own rise as a gangster in this lukewarm crime drama . Gangster films are a dime a dozen , so you need something unique to say or at least great acting . This film fails on the first part , and passes barely only thanks to Paul Bennany and David Thewlis on the second . It also goes on for t...
521,014
1,162,550
78,067
4
Ingenious in that the makers want us to relate to Patrick , buy trying to lull the audience into a coma
Richard Franklin directs this sci-fi thriller ( I use the word thriller VERY lightly ) about a parent murdering scumbag who's in a coma but has ESP , from a story by fairly regular collaborator Everett De Roche . I have no clue , how this movie landed the director the job of being at the helm of " Psycho 2 " , as the f...
520,840
1,162,550
312,358
4
As lame as the brother of the main character's legs
Jo Hauser ( Barnaby Metschurat ) , a new intern at a notable German hospital , suspects something's amiss with Proffesor Muller-LaRousse ( Herbert Knaup ) , who is studying the use of bionic muscles in order to make superior humans , but not before getting addicted to the performance enhancing drugs . Well acted , but ...
519,452
1,162,550
382,761
4
Chronicles of Narcissism
Jennifer Cassi ( Gina Philips from " Dead and Breakfast " ) returns back to the house she grew up in which she recently inherited from her deceased sister , unbeknownst to her grandmother ( Fay Dunaway ) who's still living in it . Jennifer decides to sell it as she's in dire need of the money much to Granny's chagrin ....
520,416
1,162,550
602,175
4
the late great Darren McGavin is the ONLY reason to watch this sub-par episode
Margot Kidder is Jane Reynolds , a stone cold bitch of a nurse at a retirement home . When she's not robbing the clientèle , she's having an affair with Johnny ( Stephen McHattie ) who's also her cohort in crime . However one night when a mysterious old man shows up played by the late great Darren McGavin , to give the...
520,417
1,162,550
602,161
4
fairly generic , yet still watchable
Alex Nolan , a first time director is trying to get the most out of a young inexperienced actress , Leda Bedell ( LaGena Hart ) , when he's under pressure to get the last scene of a horror film just right . Meanwhile , she's apparently being terrorized by the same madman who's in the movie she's making . The abundant h...
520,110
1,162,550
264,472
4
Changing DVDs
An attorney , Gavin , ( Ben Affleck ) in a rush to get to a court appointment gets into a collision with a black insurance salesman , Doyle , ( Samuel Jackson ) who's on his way to a custody hearing for his kids . The accident makes Doyle miss his hearing and Gavin lose important papers that are now in Doyle's possessi...
520,951
1,162,550
365,477
4
goes on too long , pretty fluffy
A little bit on the fluffy side , this featurette is somewhat enjoyable , despite that . It features interviews with a lot of the cast , the Director Milos Forman , Kaufman's one time girlfriend , Lynne Margulies ( who is a million times better looking than Courtney Love ever was or ever will be ) , the Producer , co-p...
520,853
1,162,550
30,314
4
more cute than humorous
Another musical short that is more cute than humorous is this short about some swinging cats singing in music class . One cat just doesn't get it and is ridiculed unmercifully because of it . Of course he gets it together by the end , but it still made me feel sorry for him when he lacked rhythm . This short wasn't as ...
521,081
1,162,550
95,299
4
prance and go giggle
An ex-con who works ( and lives , thanks to a stupid owner ) in a furniture store . When a group of hormonal teens decide to party in said furniture store after hours , ( one of them is the son of the aforementioned stupid owner and has a set of spare keys ) they're in for trouble when the homicidal transvestite ex-con...
519,693
1,162,550
369,445
4
geeks , nerd , and'or dweebs will love it
Four geeky losers residing in a college dorm room play a D & D-type game and use their imagination . This is pretty much a niche film , just like atheists didn't get as much out of " the Passion of The Christ " , Heterosexuals males didn't get as much out of " Moulin Rouge " , and thinking people didn't get as much fro...
519,537
1,162,550
83,146
4
an alright , if unmemorable , watch
Melissa's sixteenth birthday is right around the corner and she's just discovering her sexuality with boys . But it turns out that all the guys that she spends time with all wind up murdered in this generic ' 80's slasher film . It's up to the local town sheriff Dan Burke ( Bo Hopkins , The Wild Bunch ) and his annoyin...
520,276
1,162,550
100,827
4
If this film was a man who had one evil eye and one lazy googly eye , I'd still laugh at him
Dario Argento and George Romero team up , each telling a tale supposedly based on works of Edgar Poe . Romero's segment further solifies my notion that you can classify whatever George makes into two distinct parts : His Dead trilogy which is great and Everything else which turns out lacking . Blasphemy you say ? Well ...
519,940
1,162,550
74,268
4
Doesn't make a dent , much less a Shatter
Stuart Whitman ( Tender Flesh , Eaten Alive , the " Superboy " TV show ) is Shatter , an international hit-man who goes into hiding when he carries out the assignment of killing an African general that he thought was given to him by someone that it wasn't . Now everyone is gunning for him and he just wants the money ow...
520,222
1,162,550
100,639
4
by now , you know the drill
Can't believe no one used that summery line yet . I'm hilarious . Anyway onto the skimpy plot . A teen and her friends have a ' bitchin ' slumber party . When their boyfriends stop by it's fun fun fun . Well until a killer with a drill bit shows up to menace them . Not the best slasher film I've seen by a long shot , b...
520,192
1,162,550
1,020,935
4
Dull commercial for suppliers of Atomic energy
Located on the DVD release of " Schlock ! The Secret History of American Movies " this 10 minute short that was made in the ' 60's hawks atomic power like it was going out of style ( well I guess it kinda did ) . Leslie Franzos is the star of the short as she dances around modeling as veteran character actor William Pr...
519,763
1,162,550
113,253
4
The Producer's Cut
After Loomis gives a quick recap of Micheal Myers we flashback to 1989 where Jamie is kidnapped by the Man in Black before the burning police station explodes . Micheal returns to Haddonfeild once again to find Jamie and his baby . In this version the Loomis character gets more scenes and seems much more pro-active tha...
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at least better then Rollerball , just not as funny
Vince Vaughn leads a group of assorted misfits into a dodgeball tournament to save his gym from being bought by Ben Stiller's gym franchise . Well leads is to strong a word , as Vince just seems to go with the flow throughout the film . Are we that needy for good comedies that we elevate a below-average one into the st...
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starts off OK , but goes steadily downhill
After a professional photographer , Chance , sees his wife die in a freak ferris wheel accident , he becomes a tad morbid and overly defensive . So holding his former best friend wrongly responsible , he puts a bizarre plan of revenge into motion . Coming off as a black and reversed version of " Fatal Attraction " , I ...
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the most predictable twist since Chubby Checker's hit remake
When a recently widowed father ( De Niro ) and his daughter ( Dakota Fanning ) move to upstate New York , the daughter soon makes an imaginary friend by the name of Charlie to compensate for her lack of real ones . Which is all well and good until strange things start to happen . Then it's up to De Niro and his daughte...
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it's the pits . . . OK I got nothing
Twenty years after an insane sadistic doctor is shot dead and walled into the basement , a young amnesiac ( Stuntwoman Cheryl Lawson ) is admitted to the same nut house . When an earthquake frees the doctor from his prison , he resumes his devious work . I fully knew what I was getting into when I saw that Brett Leonar...
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WAY too long for the subject matter
One redneck has plans for his huge cock ( rooster that is ) in this very episodic film that really lacks any sort of plot whatsoever . The film has it's moments , but is VERY long winded for a film of it's type ( I mean almost two and a half hours ? ? ? What the hell man ? ) And Come on really ? Are there any truly goo...
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could have been good , destroyed by WAY too much spelling it out for stupid people , the ending goes on forever
Jim Carrey decides to go the serious route with the tale of Walter Sparrow ( Carrey ) , whom after finding a book that uncannily mirrors his own life , becomes obsessed with it as well as the number 23 . Virginia Madsen is on hand as his put-upon wife , Agatha . What could have been an intriguing enough movie and solid...
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Target missed on account of budget
In this low-budget ' 50's sci-fi movie , a young woman ( Kathleen Crowley ) awakens only to find herself being an apparently lone survivor of some event and everyone has disappeared , eventually she runs into a few more people . They find out that the place has been evacuated on account of an invasion of robots from an...
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Scotty doesn't know . . . how lackluster this film is
When Scotty's German pen-pal confesses her feelings for him via e-mail , he gets freaked out thinking it's another dude . When he realizes he is in fact a she , he takes his friends on a trip through Europe to find her . Supposedly madcap hyjinks ensue , but the hit to miss ratio with the jokes seems to err on the side...
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Stick to the Johnny Wadd films
Mr . Frosty Knight , ( not so ) private dick , awakens in the hospital face all bandaged up and suffering from a case of amnesia . He slowly remembers what happened as he lays in the hospital bed . Turns out he was tasked with finding the missing brother of a comely young lass . The story itself is quite bland and the ...
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why bother ? ?
John Constantine ( a supremely lackluster Keanu Reeves ) , is caught between a war with Heaven and Hell after the Spear of Destiny is found . Spear of Destiny and no Nazis to be found ? Blashemy ! How can a film be convoluted and dumbed down at the same time ? But this film succeeds at just that . . If you read the com...
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Estrogen runs rampant
Two sisters , Grace and Violet ( Sienna Guillory and Alicia Silverstone respectively ) who are fairly reclusive take in a drunken thieving sort ( Joe Anderson ) to stay with them awhile . Unbeknownst to him , they have plans for him , plans that might unravel when it seems Violet may be getting closer to him , much to ...
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Ironside is the only reason to watch
A homicidal misogynist , Colt Hawker ( Sam Fisher himself , Michael Ironside ) doesn't like what Television journalist , Deborah Ballin has to say about her defense of a battered woman who murdered her husband . He follows her home to kill her but his hard work only lands her in the hospital . Naturally when Colt finds...
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Point Break on wheels
Bian O'Conner ( Paul Walker ) is an undercover cop who infiltrates a street gang that stages illegal street races in order to find out who's stealing expensive electronic equipment . He befriends the leader of said gang , Domenic Toretto ( Vin Diesel ) and finds himself falling for Dom's younger sister , Mia . The raci...
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not that good , but still better than the movie it's about
This 8 minute interview with Dardano Sacchetti on his writing of " Manhattan Baby " can be found on the Anchor Bay DVD release of the aforementioned movie . He talks about his attempts to get away from the classical themes of horror , as well as , his love / hate relationship with Producer Fabrizio De Angelis , his fon...
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it's hard to mess up dragon movies , but this one excels at that
A young kid finds and awakens a dragon who turns the world into disarray , cut to the future , now a grown up kid ( Christan Bale ) is protecting his community from dragon attacks when an American shows up with plans to defeat the beasts . This film could've been good , but that all went out the window when Director Ro...
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hilariously inept
This warped Frankenstein variation is so atrociously bad that it's hilariously great . . . to a point . Udo Keir is simply amazing as the mad necrophiliac incestuous doctor that hopes to create a new master race . The ridiculous dialog he delivers is howlingly funny . Joe Dallesandro proves once again that apparently h...
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proof that a film doesn't have to be romantic to be a chick flick
Gary ( Vince Vaughn ) and Brooke ( Jennifer Aniston ) have a typical relationship argument which spirals out of control causing the Break-up the title refers to . This film might have been on to something if the leads had that special chemistry . Vaughn and Anniston quite obviously do not . How can the viewer relate to...
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why don't the cops just carry water guns ?
In the future of 1991 , alien slaves are Newcomers to Earth . One of the filthy potato head slags kills Detective Syke's partner , he is then forced to partner with another slag , Sam Franscisco ( Mandy Patinkin , who never really found his way into much later with the great " Dead Like Me " ) . Talk about adding insul...
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the least fun of the five
In the third made for TV Hercules film , Hercules ( Kevin Serbo ) and Deianeira ( Tawny Kitaen taking over for Renée O'Connor , who I guess was too busy with " Darkman II " ) go off on a quest for fire to save the world from cold . It was alright , but prone to over-sentimental bits and didn't have quite as much action...
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Somewhere between Bloodrayne and Blade
Lucy Liu stars as Sadie , a reporter who disregards what could be a big scoop until she reads of a murder of a girl on the front page . She investigates & is promptly killed by vampires . The End . . . wait , no the movie goes on ( dammit ) Sadie now a vamp herself , decides to get even with those that turned her with ...
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Massacre of acting abilities
David , the new kid in school , prefers not to join the club that the only new friend he made , Mark , runs in . Craig , the leader of said gang doesn't like that David isn't falling in line and when he saves some " bull dykes " from getting raped by the gang , he pays for his insolence . Now after a stint in the hospi...
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only one good scenes
When the film started the first 4 minutes seemed like a travelogue of California , I was wondering if I got the tapes mixed up . Then I breathed a sigh of relief to see Paul Thomas in a scene with the lovely Joanna Storm and Laurie Smith . This is being spied on by Jimmy ( a young Tom Byron ) . Jimmy's aunt ( Honey Wil...
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can I get a movie surrogate ?
Felicia and Gary ( Chloe and Steven St . Croix respectively ) are a married couple bored with their sex life and at the urging of Felicia's friend , Carmen ( Ava Vincent AKA Jewel Valmont ) , they hire Trina ( Jacy Andrews ) , an unorthodox sex therapist to reignite their long lost passion . The sessions seem to work ,...
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acted well enough , but the story is pretty dire
A group of five friends travel to Ireland during their school break vacation in order to do some shrooms in the wilderness along with their Irish friend / mushroom guide . When Tara ( Lindsey Haun ) takes a particularly bad mushroom , she fills her mind with horrific visions of the past and of her friends ' future . A ...
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while it's alright , one can't help but feel that someone ' screwed the pooch '
Bobcat Goldthwait should be commended for attempting to do something different with this surprisingly heartfelt film , a cautionary tale about the pitfalls of being honest about everything . Melinda Hamilton stars as Amy , a girl who has had oral sex with a canine in the past on a lark . She struggles with telling her ...