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I think my daughter is stressing too much"When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student always has a . but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I\'m afraid it\'s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal." | "I agree with your observation about your daughter feeling stressed. \'a0Are you able to open this topic in conversation with her?Also, reflect on your own expectations as a parent. \'a0It is possible that your daughter is trying to please you by getting consistently high grades.If your daughter prefers talking in confidence to a therapist, then this may help her regain a sense of balance in her life so that schoolwork feels less stressful.I wouldn't take her to a doctor because based on what you write, the problem is psychological and emotionally based. \'a0While the stress may have physical symptoms, addressing the root cause of the problem has nothing to do directly with something being physically wrong with your daughter.Unless there is some other medical or physical problem that would explain your daughter's sense of stress, \'a0I'd start first by bringing your areas of concern to your daughter, then possibly to a therapist.", | "Its hard to answer this question based on the information presented but I shall give it a go, Is it possible that your daughter is afraid of failing, I've seen many children and kids who get stressed out over grades or performance in sports, can you tell me ""what was your grade in fourth grade English? Or what was the score of the 7th game you played in football when you were a junior? Much of what happens to us is insignificant and we worry over things which really , in the long term don't matter much to us. But ask yourself this question, Is your daughters reaction to what is going grossly out of proportion with what would normally be expected, if the answer is yes, a visit to a psychotherapist might not be a bad idea to learn some coping skills and to alter our reaction to life.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I am so sorry this is happening to you.\'a0 One thought I have is for you to create a mantra or a soothing statement to say over and over to yourself as you are being bombarded with this negativity and abuse.\'a0 For example you could say ""Living here is temporarily, one day I will have my own place"".\'a0 Or you could say something like ""I am a good person, I am a good parent, and I always try to do the best I can"".\'a0 Saying this over and over to yourself as you are listening to your parents will help you to tune out some of their words but it will also start to build more positive neural connections and start to wire your brain to build and/or strengthen your self esteem.\'a0\'a0Focus on the temporary nature of your situation, start making plans for leaving the situation.\'a0 If you are under 18 and can't leave because you are in school, now is a good time to start planning for when you can leave.\'a0 That when when the opportunity is available you know how you will get a job, how you will find an apartment, who will provide daycare.\'a0 \'a0This will make the transition out of your parents home much easier and it will give you something to look forward to while you are in their home.\'a0 Take care!", | "Hello, I am sorry to hear about you feeling verbally abused, trapped without an escape, and emotionally drained. Sounds to me like you are being treated more like a child than an adult. \'a0It's time to learn about healthy boundaries and being treated like an adult. This process will take time, but beyond elevating your self-esteem and worth, you will be modeling to your children a healthy adult. Model to them an empowered, confident, and person that is worthy of respect.\'a0Please invest in yourself. Find yourself a therapist that encourages and empowers you to have a voice and not feel invisible. You'll be so glad you did!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "Your situation is a difficult one, but I would encourage you to start considering how to set boundaries for yourself and your family members. Often, times we believe we have to allow a certain behavior because a person is family. This is not true. It sounds like you could use some help understanding finding your voice and asserting yourself with your family members.", | "Hello, I am sorry to hear about you feeling verbally abused, trapped without an escape, and emotionally drained. Sounds to me like you are being treated more like a child than an adult. \'a0It's time to learn about healthy boundaries and being treated like an adult. This process will take time, but beyond elevating your self-esteem and worth, you will be modeling to your children a healthy adult. Model to them an empowered, confident, and person that is worthy of respect.\'a0Please invest in yourself. Find yourself a therapist that encourages and empowers you to have a voice and not feel invisible. You'll be so glad you did!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I am so sorry you are experiencing this situation. \'a0Considering that you mentioned not having a place to go, it may be best to address the problem as oppose to \'93just take all of it\'94. Confrontation can be done in a healthy and effective way. \'a0Being able to communicate your feelings with the intent of improving the problem can be a great skill needed in multiple settings in life. \'a0The therapy process can help build this skill set and goal plan to remove yourself from the home. \'a0Good luck.", | "Hello, I am sorry to hear about you feeling verbally abused, trapped without an escape, and emotionally drained. Sounds to me like you are being treated more like a child than an adult. \'a0It's time to learn about healthy boundaries and being treated like an adult. This process will take time, but beyond elevating your self-esteem and worth, you will be modeling to your children a healthy adult. Model to them an empowered, confident, and person that is worthy of respect.\'a0Please invest in yourself. Find yourself a therapist that encourages and empowers you to have a voice and not feel invisible. You'll be so glad you did!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "The first step is realizing your value and establishing firm boundaries. When your parents cross that boundary and are verbally abusive, you have to have a plan to stand your ground and act upon it. That plan may include a better job to afford a place of your own, a domestic violence shelter if you are unable to provide for your needs, a firm talk with your parents about your parental authority, or other. Whatever you do has to be firm or consistent, a boundary that you allow someone to cross is no boundary. There is always a way, if you have no where to go, ask yourself why is that the case(which I am sure you have considered already) and what can I do about it. If you choose not to take any action then you are enabling your parents to remain abusive. Ask yourself too, why am I not acting on my situation. Am I too dependent on them? Do I not want to change? Is it easier just to let them provide for me? Be honest with yourself. You need to work on your self esteem, and things that empower you. Support groups in person or online, Church groups or organizations, friends, books, music, etc.... but think on things that will empower you. Are you stuck financially because of the need for a job? Do you need to go back to school? Do you need training in a new field? There are a myriad of possibilities and answers. Action, think action and Change, what can I change?", | "Hello, I am sorry to hear about you feeling verbally abused, trapped without an escape, and emotionally drained. Sounds to me like you are being treated more like a child than an adult. \'a0It's time to learn about healthy boundaries and being treated like an adult. This process will take time, but beyond elevating your self-esteem and worth, you will be modeling to your children a healthy adult. Model to them an empowered, confident, and person that is worthy of respect.\'a0Please invest in yourself. Find yourself a therapist that encourages and empowers you to have a voice and not feel invisible. You'll be so glad you did!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I can't imagine what you are feeling but I can tell you that you are right to be concerned about your children baring witness to this abuse. \'a0This is a great teachable moment for your kids. \'a0How you handle yourself will be very important for your children to see. \'a0Your ""REACTION"" is what you should focus on. \'a0Will you react with rage and name calling? Will you listen to your parents with respect and talk to them in private about how they are speaking to you in front of your kids? \'a0Will you talk your kids about what is going?\'a0From reading this I am assuming you live with your parents. \'a0If this is the case you have to think about what you can do to change your situation. \'a0Have a plan! Set a goal! \'a0Don't lose hope!", | "Hello, I am sorry to hear about you feeling verbally abused, trapped without an escape, and emotionally drained. Sounds to me like you are being treated more like a child than an adult. \'a0It's time to learn about healthy boundaries and being treated like an adult. This process will take time, but beyond elevating your self-esteem and worth, you will be modeling to your children a healthy adult. Model to them an empowered, confident, and person that is worthy of respect.\'a0Please invest in yourself. Find yourself a therapist that encourages and empowers you to have a voice and not feel invisible. You'll be so glad you did!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I think one of the best things to pass on to our children, or simply one of the best lessons in life, is to learn when to internalize (it's an issue in me) and when to externalize (it's an issue in them), as well as always finding the balance of the two.In this case, you don't seem to be the issue. Sure, living with your parents with your child probably is not your dream scenario, nor your parents'. But, there are ways to process that without someone feeling abused, and your parents clearly have zero ability or boundaries if they are willing to verbally abuse you in front of your child, and their grandchild. If there is a reason they are doing so, I'm sure they think they have a good one. However, the dynamic that they are willingly setting up is problematic. And it is THEIR problem.\'a0However, by being strong and not taking in someone's verbal abuse, you are going to role model for your child how it's about what is inside of you, your own drive, that will be what is important, NOT what others say about you. It's important to always come back to yourself inside, and seeing the good that is in you (or even just noticing that it's there, if you can't quite see it in its entirety.)I would also advise your parents to think about their own role modeling.", | "Hello, I am sorry to hear about you feeling verbally abused, trapped without an escape, and emotionally drained. Sounds to me like you are being treated more like a child than an adult. \'a0It's time to learn about healthy boundaries and being treated like an adult. This process will take time, but beyond elevating your self-esteem and worth, you will be modeling to your children a healthy adult. Model to them an empowered, confident, and person that is worthy of respect.\'a0Please invest in yourself. Find yourself a therapist that encourages and empowers you to have a voice and not feel invisible. You'll be so glad you did!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "When their verbal abuse starts, tell them you are exiting the conversation because the way they're talking to you is unacceptable.Explain you are willing to hear their point of view only not when it is expressed as abuse.They may not agree with your opinion and also may not want to change.Even if they do not change, you are entitled to be treated as a human being who is worthy of respect.Explain your reason to exit the conversation and ask them to write down their requests for you to consider.", | "Hello, I am sorry to hear about you feeling verbally abused, trapped without an escape, and emotionally drained. Sounds to me like you are being treated more like a child than an adult. \'a0It's time to learn about healthy boundaries and being treated like an adult. This process will take time, but beyond elevating your self-esteem and worth, you will be modeling to your children a healthy adult. Model to them an empowered, confident, and person that is worthy of respect.\'a0Please invest in yourself. Find yourself a therapist that encourages and empowers you to have a voice and not feel invisible. You'll be so glad you did!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "Your situation is a difficult one, but I would encourage you to start considering how to set boundaries for yourself and your family members. Often, times we believe we have to allow a certain behavior because a person is family. This is not true. It sounds like you could use some help understanding finding your voice and asserting yourself with your family members.", | "I am so sorry this is happening to you.\'a0 One thought I have is for you to create a mantra or a soothing statement to say over and over to yourself as you are being bombarded with this negativity and abuse.\'a0 For example you could say ""Living here is temporarily, one day I will have my own place"".\'a0 Or you could say something like ""I am a good person, I am a good parent, and I always try to do the best I can"".\'a0 Saying this over and over to yourself as you are listening to your parents will help you to tune out some of their words but it will also start to build more positive neural connections and start to wire your brain to build and/or strengthen your self esteem.\'a0\'a0Focus on the temporary nature of your situation, start making plans for leaving the situation.\'a0 If you are under 18 and can't leave because you are in school, now is a good time to start planning for when you can leave.\'a0 That when when the opportunity is available you know how you will get a job, how you will find an apartment, who will provide daycare.\'a0 \'a0This will make the transition out of your parents home much easier and it will give you something to look forward to while you are in their home.\'a0 Take care!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I am so sorry you are experiencing this situation. \'a0Considering that you mentioned not having a place to go, it may be best to address the problem as oppose to \'93just take all of it\'94. Confrontation can be done in a healthy and effective way. \'a0Being able to communicate your feelings with the intent of improving the problem can be a great skill needed in multiple settings in life. \'a0The therapy process can help build this skill set and goal plan to remove yourself from the home. \'a0Good luck.", | "I am so sorry this is happening to you.\'a0 One thought I have is for you to create a mantra or a soothing statement to say over and over to yourself as you are being bombarded with this negativity and abuse.\'a0 For example you could say ""Living here is temporarily, one day I will have my own place"".\'a0 Or you could say something like ""I am a good person, I am a good parent, and I always try to do the best I can"".\'a0 Saying this over and over to yourself as you are listening to your parents will help you to tune out some of their words but it will also start to build more positive neural connections and start to wire your brain to build and/or strengthen your self esteem.\'a0\'a0Focus on the temporary nature of your situation, start making plans for leaving the situation.\'a0 If you are under 18 and can't leave because you are in school, now is a good time to start planning for when you can leave.\'a0 That when when the opportunity is available you know how you will get a job, how you will find an apartment, who will provide daycare.\'a0 \'a0This will make the transition out of your parents home much easier and it will give you something to look forward to while you are in their home.\'a0 Take care!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "The first step is realizing your value and establishing firm boundaries. When your parents cross that boundary and are verbally abusive, you have to have a plan to stand your ground and act upon it. That plan may include a better job to afford a place of your own, a domestic violence shelter if you are unable to provide for your needs, a firm talk with your parents about your parental authority, or other. Whatever you do has to be firm or consistent, a boundary that you allow someone to cross is no boundary. There is always a way, if you have no where to go, ask yourself why is that the case(which I am sure you have considered already) and what can I do about it. If you choose not to take any action then you are enabling your parents to remain abusive. Ask yourself too, why am I not acting on my situation. Am I too dependent on them? Do I not want to change? Is it easier just to let them provide for me? Be honest with yourself. You need to work on your self esteem, and things that empower you. Support groups in person or online, Church groups or organizations, friends, books, music, etc.... but think on things that will empower you. Are you stuck financially because of the need for a job? Do you need to go back to school? Do you need training in a new field? There are a myriad of possibilities and answers. Action, think action and Change, what can I change?", | "I am so sorry this is happening to you.\'a0 One thought I have is for you to create a mantra or a soothing statement to say over and over to yourself as you are being bombarded with this negativity and abuse.\'a0 For example you could say ""Living here is temporarily, one day I will have my own place"".\'a0 Or you could say something like ""I am a good person, I am a good parent, and I always try to do the best I can"".\'a0 Saying this over and over to yourself as you are listening to your parents will help you to tune out some of their words but it will also start to build more positive neural connections and start to wire your brain to build and/or strengthen your self esteem.\'a0\'a0Focus on the temporary nature of your situation, start making plans for leaving the situation.\'a0 If you are under 18 and can't leave because you are in school, now is a good time to start planning for when you can leave.\'a0 That when when the opportunity is available you know how you will get a job, how you will find an apartment, who will provide daycare.\'a0 \'a0This will make the transition out of your parents home much easier and it will give you something to look forward to while you are in their home.\'a0 Take care!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I can't imagine what you are feeling but I can tell you that you are right to be concerned about your children baring witness to this abuse. \'a0This is a great teachable moment for your kids. \'a0How you handle yourself will be very important for your children to see. \'a0Your ""REACTION"" is what you should focus on. \'a0Will you react with rage and name calling? Will you listen to your parents with respect and talk to them in private about how they are speaking to you in front of your kids? \'a0Will you talk your kids about what is going?\'a0From reading this I am assuming you live with your parents. \'a0If this is the case you have to think about what you can do to change your situation. \'a0Have a plan! Set a goal! \'a0Don't lose hope!", | "I am so sorry this is happening to you.\'a0 One thought I have is for you to create a mantra or a soothing statement to say over and over to yourself as you are being bombarded with this negativity and abuse.\'a0 For example you could say ""Living here is temporarily, one day I will have my own place"".\'a0 Or you could say something like ""I am a good person, I am a good parent, and I always try to do the best I can"".\'a0 Saying this over and over to yourself as you are listening to your parents will help you to tune out some of their words but it will also start to build more positive neural connections and start to wire your brain to build and/or strengthen your self esteem.\'a0\'a0Focus on the temporary nature of your situation, start making plans for leaving the situation.\'a0 If you are under 18 and can't leave because you are in school, now is a good time to start planning for when you can leave.\'a0 That when when the opportunity is available you know how you will get a job, how you will find an apartment, who will provide daycare.\'a0 \'a0This will make the transition out of your parents home much easier and it will give you something to look forward to while you are in their home.\'a0 Take care!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I think one of the best things to pass on to our children, or simply one of the best lessons in life, is to learn when to internalize (it's an issue in me) and when to externalize (it's an issue in them), as well as always finding the balance of the two.In this case, you don't seem to be the issue. Sure, living with your parents with your child probably is not your dream scenario, nor your parents'. But, there are ways to process that without someone feeling abused, and your parents clearly have zero ability or boundaries if they are willing to verbally abuse you in front of your child, and their grandchild. If there is a reason they are doing so, I'm sure they think they have a good one. However, the dynamic that they are willingly setting up is problematic. And it is THEIR problem.\'a0However, by being strong and not taking in someone's verbal abuse, you are going to role model for your child how it's about what is inside of you, your own drive, that will be what is important, NOT what others say about you. It's important to always come back to yourself inside, and seeing the good that is in you (or even just noticing that it's there, if you can't quite see it in its entirety.)I would also advise your parents to think about their own role modeling.", | "I am so sorry this is happening to you.\'a0 One thought I have is for you to create a mantra or a soothing statement to say over and over to yourself as you are being bombarded with this negativity and abuse.\'a0 For example you could say ""Living here is temporarily, one day I will have my own place"".\'a0 Or you could say something like ""I am a good person, I am a good parent, and I always try to do the best I can"".\'a0 Saying this over and over to yourself as you are listening to your parents will help you to tune out some of their words but it will also start to build more positive neural connections and start to wire your brain to build and/or strengthen your self esteem.\'a0\'a0Focus on the temporary nature of your situation, start making plans for leaving the situation.\'a0 If you are under 18 and can't leave because you are in school, now is a good time to start planning for when you can leave.\'a0 That when when the opportunity is available you know how you will get a job, how you will find an apartment, who will provide daycare.\'a0 \'a0This will make the transition out of your parents home much easier and it will give you something to look forward to while you are in their home.\'a0 Take care!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "When their verbal abuse starts, tell them you are exiting the conversation because the way they're talking to you is unacceptable.Explain you are willing to hear their point of view only not when it is expressed as abuse.They may not agree with your opinion and also may not want to change.Even if they do not change, you are entitled to be treated as a human being who is worthy of respect.Explain your reason to exit the conversation and ask them to write down their requests for you to consider.", | "I am so sorry this is happening to you.\'a0 One thought I have is for you to create a mantra or a soothing statement to say over and over to yourself as you are being bombarded with this negativity and abuse.\'a0 For example you could say ""Living here is temporarily, one day I will have my own place"".\'a0 Or you could say something like ""I am a good person, I am a good parent, and I always try to do the best I can"".\'a0 Saying this over and over to yourself as you are listening to your parents will help you to tune out some of their words but it will also start to build more positive neural connections and start to wire your brain to build and/or strengthen your self esteem.\'a0\'a0Focus on the temporary nature of your situation, start making plans for leaving the situation.\'a0 If you are under 18 and can't leave because you are in school, now is a good time to start planning for when you can leave.\'a0 That when when the opportunity is available you know how you will get a job, how you will find an apartment, who will provide daycare.\'a0 \'a0This will make the transition out of your parents home much easier and it will give you something to look forward to while you are in their home.\'a0 Take care!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I am so sorry you are experiencing this situation. \'a0Considering that you mentioned not having a place to go, it may be best to address the problem as oppose to \'93just take all of it\'94. Confrontation can be done in a healthy and effective way. \'a0Being able to communicate your feelings with the intent of improving the problem can be a great skill needed in multiple settings in life. \'a0The therapy process can help build this skill set and goal plan to remove yourself from the home. \'a0Good luck.", | "Your situation is a difficult one, but I would encourage you to start considering how to set boundaries for yourself and your family members. Often, times we believe we have to allow a certain behavior because a person is family. This is not true. It sounds like you could use some help understanding finding your voice and asserting yourself with your family members.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "The first step is realizing your value and establishing firm boundaries. When your parents cross that boundary and are verbally abusive, you have to have a plan to stand your ground and act upon it. That plan may include a better job to afford a place of your own, a domestic violence shelter if you are unable to provide for your needs, a firm talk with your parents about your parental authority, or other. Whatever you do has to be firm or consistent, a boundary that you allow someone to cross is no boundary. There is always a way, if you have no where to go, ask yourself why is that the case(which I am sure you have considered already) and what can I do about it. If you choose not to take any action then you are enabling your parents to remain abusive. Ask yourself too, why am I not acting on my situation. Am I too dependent on them? Do I not want to change? Is it easier just to let them provide for me? Be honest with yourself. You need to work on your self esteem, and things that empower you. Support groups in person or online, Church groups or organizations, friends, books, music, etc.... but think on things that will empower you. Are you stuck financially because of the need for a job? Do you need to go back to school? Do you need training in a new field? There are a myriad of possibilities and answers. Action, think action and Change, what can I change?", | "Your situation is a difficult one, but I would encourage you to start considering how to set boundaries for yourself and your family members. Often, times we believe we have to allow a certain behavior because a person is family. This is not true. It sounds like you could use some help understanding finding your voice and asserting yourself with your family members.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I can't imagine what you are feeling but I can tell you that you are right to be concerned about your children baring witness to this abuse. \'a0This is a great teachable moment for your kids. \'a0How you handle yourself will be very important for your children to see. \'a0Your ""REACTION"" is what you should focus on. \'a0Will you react with rage and name calling? Will you listen to your parents with respect and talk to them in private about how they are speaking to you in front of your kids? \'a0Will you talk your kids about what is going?\'a0From reading this I am assuming you live with your parents. \'a0If this is the case you have to think about what you can do to change your situation. \'a0Have a plan! Set a goal! \'a0Don't lose hope!", | "Your situation is a difficult one, but I would encourage you to start considering how to set boundaries for yourself and your family members. Often, times we believe we have to allow a certain behavior because a person is family. This is not true. It sounds like you could use some help understanding finding your voice and asserting yourself with your family members.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I think one of the best things to pass on to our children, or simply one of the best lessons in life, is to learn when to internalize (it's an issue in me) and when to externalize (it's an issue in them), as well as always finding the balance of the two.In this case, you don't seem to be the issue. Sure, living with your parents with your child probably is not your dream scenario, nor your parents'. But, there are ways to process that without someone feeling abused, and your parents clearly have zero ability or boundaries if they are willing to verbally abuse you in front of your child, and their grandchild. If there is a reason they are doing so, I'm sure they think they have a good one. However, the dynamic that they are willingly setting up is problematic. And it is THEIR problem.\'a0However, by being strong and not taking in someone's verbal abuse, you are going to role model for your child how it's about what is inside of you, your own drive, that will be what is important, NOT what others say about you. It's important to always come back to yourself inside, and seeing the good that is in you (or even just noticing that it's there, if you can't quite see it in its entirety.)I would also advise your parents to think about their own role modeling.", | "Your situation is a difficult one, but I would encourage you to start considering how to set boundaries for yourself and your family members. Often, times we believe we have to allow a certain behavior because a person is family. This is not true. It sounds like you could use some help understanding finding your voice and asserting yourself with your family members.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "When their verbal abuse starts, tell them you are exiting the conversation because the way they're talking to you is unacceptable.Explain you are willing to hear their point of view only not when it is expressed as abuse.They may not agree with your opinion and also may not want to change.Even if they do not change, you are entitled to be treated as a human being who is worthy of respect.Explain your reason to exit the conversation and ask them to write down their requests for you to consider.", | "Your situation is a difficult one, but I would encourage you to start considering how to set boundaries for yourself and your family members. Often, times we believe we have to allow a certain behavior because a person is family. This is not true. It sounds like you could use some help understanding finding your voice and asserting yourself with your family members.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "The first step is realizing your value and establishing firm boundaries. When your parents cross that boundary and are verbally abusive, you have to have a plan to stand your ground and act upon it. That plan may include a better job to afford a place of your own, a domestic violence shelter if you are unable to provide for your needs, a firm talk with your parents about your parental authority, or other. Whatever you do has to be firm or consistent, a boundary that you allow someone to cross is no boundary. There is always a way, if you have no where to go, ask yourself why is that the case(which I am sure you have considered already) and what can I do about it. If you choose not to take any action then you are enabling your parents to remain abusive. Ask yourself too, why am I not acting on my situation. Am I too dependent on them? Do I not want to change? Is it easier just to let them provide for me? Be honest with yourself. You need to work on your self esteem, and things that empower you. Support groups in person or online, Church groups or organizations, friends, books, music, etc.... but think on things that will empower you. Are you stuck financially because of the need for a job? Do you need to go back to school? Do you need training in a new field? There are a myriad of possibilities and answers. Action, think action and Change, what can I change?", | "I am so sorry you are experiencing this situation. \'a0Considering that you mentioned not having a place to go, it may be best to address the problem as oppose to \'93just take all of it\'94. Confrontation can be done in a healthy and effective way. \'a0Being able to communicate your feelings with the intent of improving the problem can be a great skill needed in multiple settings in life. \'a0The therapy process can help build this skill set and goal plan to remove yourself from the home. \'a0Good luck.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I can't imagine what you are feeling but I can tell you that you are right to be concerned about your children baring witness to this abuse. \'a0This is a great teachable moment for your kids. \'a0How you handle yourself will be very important for your children to see. \'a0Your ""REACTION"" is what you should focus on. \'a0Will you react with rage and name calling? Will you listen to your parents with respect and talk to them in private about how they are speaking to you in front of your kids? \'a0Will you talk your kids about what is going?\'a0From reading this I am assuming you live with your parents. \'a0If this is the case you have to think about what you can do to change your situation. \'a0Have a plan! Set a goal! \'a0Don't lose hope!", | "I am so sorry you are experiencing this situation. \'a0Considering that you mentioned not having a place to go, it may be best to address the problem as oppose to \'93just take all of it\'94. Confrontation can be done in a healthy and effective way. \'a0Being able to communicate your feelings with the intent of improving the problem can be a great skill needed in multiple settings in life. \'a0The therapy process can help build this skill set and goal plan to remove yourself from the home. \'a0Good luck.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I think one of the best things to pass on to our children, or simply one of the best lessons in life, is to learn when to internalize (it's an issue in me) and when to externalize (it's an issue in them), as well as always finding the balance of the two.In this case, you don't seem to be the issue. Sure, living with your parents with your child probably is not your dream scenario, nor your parents'. But, there are ways to process that without someone feeling abused, and your parents clearly have zero ability or boundaries if they are willing to verbally abuse you in front of your child, and their grandchild. If there is a reason they are doing so, I'm sure they think they have a good one. However, the dynamic that they are willingly setting up is problematic. And it is THEIR problem.\'a0However, by being strong and not taking in someone's verbal abuse, you are going to role model for your child how it's about what is inside of you, your own drive, that will be what is important, NOT what others say about you. It's important to always come back to yourself inside, and seeing the good that is in you (or even just noticing that it's there, if you can't quite see it in its entirety.)I would also advise your parents to think about their own role modeling.", | "I am so sorry you are experiencing this situation. \'a0Considering that you mentioned not having a place to go, it may be best to address the problem as oppose to \'93just take all of it\'94. Confrontation can be done in a healthy and effective way. \'a0Being able to communicate your feelings with the intent of improving the problem can be a great skill needed in multiple settings in life. \'a0The therapy process can help build this skill set and goal plan to remove yourself from the home. \'a0Good luck.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I am so sorry you are experiencing this situation. \'a0Considering that you mentioned not having a place to go, it may be best to address the problem as oppose to \'93just take all of it\'94. Confrontation can be done in a healthy and effective way. \'a0Being able to communicate your feelings with the intent of improving the problem can be a great skill needed in multiple settings in life. \'a0The therapy process can help build this skill set and goal plan to remove yourself from the home. \'a0Good luck.", | "When their verbal abuse starts, tell them you are exiting the conversation because the way they're talking to you is unacceptable.Explain you are willing to hear their point of view only not when it is expressed as abuse.They may not agree with your opinion and also may not want to change.Even if they do not change, you are entitled to be treated as a human being who is worthy of respect.Explain your reason to exit the conversation and ask them to write down their requests for you to consider.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I can't imagine what you are feeling but I can tell you that you are right to be concerned about your children baring witness to this abuse. \'a0This is a great teachable moment for your kids. \'a0How you handle yourself will be very important for your children to see. \'a0Your ""REACTION"" is what you should focus on. \'a0Will you react with rage and name calling? Will you listen to your parents with respect and talk to them in private about how they are speaking to you in front of your kids? \'a0Will you talk your kids about what is going?\'a0From reading this I am assuming you live with your parents. \'a0If this is the case you have to think about what you can do to change your situation. \'a0Have a plan! Set a goal! \'a0Don't lose hope!", | "The first step is realizing your value and establishing firm boundaries. When your parents cross that boundary and are verbally abusive, you have to have a plan to stand your ground and act upon it. That plan may include a better job to afford a place of your own, a domestic violence shelter if you are unable to provide for your needs, a firm talk with your parents about your parental authority, or other. Whatever you do has to be firm or consistent, a boundary that you allow someone to cross is no boundary. There is always a way, if you have no where to go, ask yourself why is that the case(which I am sure you have considered already) and what can I do about it. If you choose not to take any action then you are enabling your parents to remain abusive. Ask yourself too, why am I not acting on my situation. Am I too dependent on them? Do I not want to change? Is it easier just to let them provide for me? Be honest with yourself. You need to work on your self esteem, and things that empower you. Support groups in person or online, Church groups or organizations, friends, books, music, etc.... but think on things that will empower you. Are you stuck financially because of the need for a job? Do you need to go back to school? Do you need training in a new field? There are a myriad of possibilities and answers. Action, think action and Change, what can I change?", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I think one of the best things to pass on to our children, or simply one of the best lessons in life, is to learn when to internalize (it's an issue in me) and when to externalize (it's an issue in them), as well as always finding the balance of the two.In this case, you don't seem to be the issue. Sure, living with your parents with your child probably is not your dream scenario, nor your parents'. But, there are ways to process that without someone feeling abused, and your parents clearly have zero ability or boundaries if they are willing to verbally abuse you in front of your child, and their grandchild. If there is a reason they are doing so, I'm sure they think they have a good one. However, the dynamic that they are willingly setting up is problematic. And it is THEIR problem.\'a0However, by being strong and not taking in someone's verbal abuse, you are going to role model for your child how it's about what is inside of you, your own drive, that will be what is important, NOT what others say about you. It's important to always come back to yourself inside, and seeing the good that is in you (or even just noticing that it's there, if you can't quite see it in its entirety.)I would also advise your parents to think about their own role modeling.", | "The first step is realizing your value and establishing firm boundaries. When your parents cross that boundary and are verbally abusive, you have to have a plan to stand your ground and act upon it. That plan may include a better job to afford a place of your own, a domestic violence shelter if you are unable to provide for your needs, a firm talk with your parents about your parental authority, or other. Whatever you do has to be firm or consistent, a boundary that you allow someone to cross is no boundary. There is always a way, if you have no where to go, ask yourself why is that the case(which I am sure you have considered already) and what can I do about it. If you choose not to take any action then you are enabling your parents to remain abusive. Ask yourself too, why am I not acting on my situation. Am I too dependent on them? Do I not want to change? Is it easier just to let them provide for me? Be honest with yourself. You need to work on your self esteem, and things that empower you. Support groups in person or online, Church groups or organizations, friends, books, music, etc.... but think on things that will empower you. Are you stuck financially because of the need for a job? Do you need to go back to school? Do you need training in a new field? There are a myriad of possibilities and answers. Action, think action and Change, what can I change?", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "The first step is realizing your value and establishing firm boundaries. When your parents cross that boundary and are verbally abusive, you have to have a plan to stand your ground and act upon it. That plan may include a better job to afford a place of your own, a domestic violence shelter if you are unable to provide for your needs, a firm talk with your parents about your parental authority, or other. Whatever you do has to be firm or consistent, a boundary that you allow someone to cross is no boundary. There is always a way, if you have no where to go, ask yourself why is that the case(which I am sure you have considered already) and what can I do about it. If you choose not to take any action then you are enabling your parents to remain abusive. Ask yourself too, why am I not acting on my situation. Am I too dependent on them? Do I not want to change? Is it easier just to let them provide for me? Be honest with yourself. You need to work on your self esteem, and things that empower you. Support groups in person or online, Church groups or organizations, friends, books, music, etc.... but think on things that will empower you. Are you stuck financially because of the need for a job? Do you need to go back to school? Do you need training in a new field? There are a myriad of possibilities and answers. Action, think action and Change, what can I change?", | "When their verbal abuse starts, tell them you are exiting the conversation because the way they're talking to you is unacceptable.Explain you are willing to hear their point of view only not when it is expressed as abuse.They may not agree with your opinion and also may not want to change.Even if they do not change, you are entitled to be treated as a human being who is worthy of respect.Explain your reason to exit the conversation and ask them to write down their requests for you to consider.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I think one of the best things to pass on to our children, or simply one of the best lessons in life, is to learn when to internalize (it's an issue in me) and when to externalize (it's an issue in them), as well as always finding the balance of the two.In this case, you don't seem to be the issue. Sure, living with your parents with your child probably is not your dream scenario, nor your parents'. But, there are ways to process that without someone feeling abused, and your parents clearly have zero ability or boundaries if they are willing to verbally abuse you in front of your child, and their grandchild. If there is a reason they are doing so, I'm sure they think they have a good one. However, the dynamic that they are willingly setting up is problematic. And it is THEIR problem.\'a0However, by being strong and not taking in someone's verbal abuse, you are going to role model for your child how it's about what is inside of you, your own drive, that will be what is important, NOT what others say about you. It's important to always come back to yourself inside, and seeing the good that is in you (or even just noticing that it's there, if you can't quite see it in its entirety.)I would also advise your parents to think about their own role modeling.", | "I can't imagine what you are feeling but I can tell you that you are right to be concerned about your children baring witness to this abuse. \'a0This is a great teachable moment for your kids. \'a0How you handle yourself will be very important for your children to see. \'a0Your ""REACTION"" is what you should focus on. \'a0Will you react with rage and name calling? Will you listen to your parents with respect and talk to them in private about how they are speaking to you in front of your kids? \'a0Will you talk your kids about what is going?\'a0From reading this I am assuming you live with your parents. \'a0If this is the case you have to think about what you can do to change your situation. \'a0Have a plan! Set a goal! \'a0Don't lose hope!", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I can't imagine what you are feeling but I can tell you that you are right to be concerned about your children baring witness to this abuse. \'a0This is a great teachable moment for your kids. \'a0How you handle yourself will be very important for your children to see. \'a0Your ""REACTION"" is what you should focus on. \'a0Will you react with rage and name calling? Will you listen to your parents with respect and talk to them in private about how they are speaking to you in front of your kids? \'a0Will you talk your kids about what is going?\'a0From reading this I am assuming you live with your parents. \'a0If this is the case you have to think about what you can do to change your situation. \'a0Have a plan! Set a goal! \'a0Don't lose hope!", | "When their verbal abuse starts, tell them you are exiting the conversation because the way they're talking to you is unacceptable.Explain you are willing to hear their point of view only not when it is expressed as abuse.They may not agree with your opinion and also may not want to change.Even if they do not change, you are entitled to be treated as a human being who is worthy of respect.Explain your reason to exit the conversation and ask them to write down their requests for you to consider.", |
I get verbally abused everyday by my parents in front of my child and I cannot take it anymore"I'm being verbally abused on a daily basis by my parents in front of my child. I feel like I\'m trapped and I have no escape. I feel like I have to listen to the horrible things they say and just take all of it.\
I need some way of learning how to cope with listening to it especially since I have nowhere else to go. I feel very emotionally drained How can I deal with this?" | "I think one of the best things to pass on to our children, or simply one of the best lessons in life, is to learn when to internalize (it's an issue in me) and when to externalize (it's an issue in them), as well as always finding the balance of the two.In this case, you don't seem to be the issue. Sure, living with your parents with your child probably is not your dream scenario, nor your parents'. But, there are ways to process that without someone feeling abused, and your parents clearly have zero ability or boundaries if they are willing to verbally abuse you in front of your child, and their grandchild. If there is a reason they are doing so, I'm sure they think they have a good one. However, the dynamic that they are willingly setting up is problematic. And it is THEIR problem.\'a0However, by being strong and not taking in someone's verbal abuse, you are going to role model for your child how it's about what is inside of you, your own drive, that will be what is important, NOT what others say about you. It's important to always come back to yourself inside, and seeing the good that is in you (or even just noticing that it's there, if you can't quite see it in its entirety.)I would also advise your parents to think about their own role modeling.", | "When their verbal abuse starts, tell them you are exiting the conversation because the way they're talking to you is unacceptable.Explain you are willing to hear their point of view only not when it is expressed as abuse.They may not agree with your opinion and also may not want to change.Even if they do not change, you are entitled to be treated as a human being who is worthy of respect.Explain your reason to exit the conversation and ask them to write down their requests for you to consider.", |
My fianc\'e's ex-husband shows up unannounced"he just walks in the house whenever he wants to see his kids. My fianc\'e tells me it makes her angry and doesn't like it but she seems afraid to say anything to him about it for some reason. Is it okay for him to do this?" | "The kids are actually her Property, and he does have a claim to them as he wishes;The house is yours, I presume;So require that if he wishes to see his Property, it be done off of your Property;And, that as long as it remains your Property, you have jurisdiction over all those, therein;Require compensation for visits, and send him a bill;When he doesn't pay, send to the local sheriff, go to small claims court, and win a judgment against him for non-payment;I wonder how that might work out... act as man :)", | "The obvious answer is no, it's not okay.\'a0 There are other you should be asking though.\'a0 You said your fiance ""seems afraid"" of her ex.\'a0 Did you ask her about that?\'a0 Is there a reason he still has a key to the\'a0 home?\'a0 Has there been any discussion of appropriate boundaries?\'a0 I work with a lot of people parenting from different households and the stickiest spots are the ones that have not been discussed.\'a0 There is obviously conflict there or they wouldn't have split, but your fiance and her ex do need to stay aligned for the kids and that can't happen if she feels fearful or resentful.\'a0 If she doesn't have a problem with his barging in, clearly you do (and who wouldn't?\'a0 He's not YOUR ex!), so you and she need to have some agreements around his access to the home.\'a0\'a0If she is afraid to bring up the discussion then I strongly recommend that she and the ex get some help with a good therapist.\'a0 The kids health, your health and hers, and the health of your relationships in the family depend on it!", |
My fianc\'e's ex-husband shows up unannounced"he just walks in the house whenever he wants to see his kids. My fianc\'e tells me it makes her angry and doesn't like it but she seems afraid to say anything to him about it for some reason. Is it okay for him to do this?" | "The kids are actually her Property, and he does have a claim to them as he wishes;The house is yours, I presume;So require that if he wishes to see his Property, it be done off of your Property;And, that as long as it remains your Property, you have jurisdiction over all those, therein;Require compensation for visits, and send him a bill;When he doesn't pay, send to the local sheriff, go to small claims court, and win a judgment against him for non-payment;I wonder how that might work out... act as man :)", | "Do you know the reason your fianc\'e9 puts up with the ex's behavior?If not, then ask her.The answer could be anything, from some agreement the two of them made either formally or informally before you came into her life, to residual sense of obligation she feels toward him as a parent, or that she genuinely does fear his physical or verbal anger if she disagrees with what he wants.Facts are the best starting point to know how to handle a situation.There is no blanket rule and certainly no law which prohibits what he's doing. \'a0 The situation is entirely in the hands of the people involved.", |
My fianc\'e's ex-husband shows up unannounced"he just walks in the house whenever he wants to see his kids. My fianc\'e tells me it makes her angry and doesn't like it but she seems afraid to say anything to him about it for some reason. Is it okay for him to do this?" | "Do you know the reason your fianc\'e9 puts up with the ex's behavior?If not, then ask her.The answer could be anything, from some agreement the two of them made either formally or informally before you came into her life, to residual sense of obligation she feels toward him as a parent, or that she genuinely does fear his physical or verbal anger if she disagrees with what he wants.Facts are the best starting point to know how to handle a situation.There is no blanket rule and certainly no law which prohibits what he's doing. \'a0 The situation is entirely in the hands of the people involved.", | "The obvious answer is no, it's not okay.\'a0 There are other you should be asking though.\'a0 You said your fiance ""seems afraid"" of her ex.\'a0 Did you ask her about that?\'a0 Is there a reason he still has a key to the\'a0 home?\'a0 Has there been any discussion of appropriate boundaries?\'a0 I work with a lot of people parenting from different households and the stickiest spots are the ones that have not been discussed.\'a0 There is obviously conflict there or they wouldn't have split, but your fiance and her ex do need to stay aligned for the kids and that can't happen if she feels fearful or resentful.\'a0 If she doesn't have a problem with his barging in, clearly you do (and who wouldn't?\'a0 He's not YOUR ex!), so you and she need to have some agreements around his access to the home.\'a0\'a0If she is afraid to bring up the discussion then I strongly recommend that she and the ex get some help with a good therapist.\'a0 The kids health, your health and hers, and the health of your relationships in the family depend on it!", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "At times when a child is not displaying milestone behavior at the same rate that is average for their peers, this should raise concern, so you are correct in reaching out for advice. Speaking with your child's pediatrician, as well as school staff may be the first places to start. You can request that she receive an assessment and evaluation, with a subsequent treatment plan to meet any needs she may have.", | "Kids develop in different ways and different speeds. It can sometimes feel like your kid has a delay because of these different ways of development. If you have concerns about your child\'92s development then addressing it with the school is the best solution. They will be able to provide a full assessment if needed with an academic diagnosis as well as academic support.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "At times when a child is not displaying milestone behavior at the same rate that is average for their peers, this should raise concern, so you are correct in reaching out for advice. Speaking with your child's pediatrician, as well as school staff may be the first places to start. You can request that she receive an assessment and evaluation, with a subsequent treatment plan to meet any needs she may have.", | "Contact your daughter\'92s school and ask for an occupational therapy evaluation. An occupational therapist can determine if your daughter struggles with eye-hand coordination, visual processing or sensory motor difficulties. The therapist will develop a plan of care if your daughter demonstrates delays or difficulties in learning.\'a0OTontheGo.org mobile therapy that comes to you! Accepting most insurance.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "At times when a child is not displaying milestone behavior at the same rate that is average for their peers, this should raise concern, so you are correct in reaching out for advice. Speaking with your child's pediatrician, as well as school staff may be the first places to start. You can request that she receive an assessment and evaluation, with a subsequent treatment plan to meet any needs she may have.", | "Developmentally, there are ages where not coloring in the lines, writing words that are jumbled together, and leaving big spaces or skipping lines are completely normal.\'a0 I have seen children in 3rd and in\'a0some cases, 4th grade who do not have learning disabilities write in the manner you have described.\'a0\'a0There is, however, a type of learning disability called Dysgraphia which can present in the ways you have described. If you suspect that your daughter might have Dysgraphia, then the best thing to do is to have educational testing done.\'a0 You can request testing by going through your school system and asking for an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting.\'a0 Your school is required to honor your request for an IEP meeting.\'a0\'a0At the meeting, you can ask the school to do educational testing that will be at no cost to you.\'a0 I will say that depending on where you live and your school system, it can sometimes be difficult to get the school system to do testing.\'a0 If that is the case, you can go to a psychologist or find an agency near you that can also perform this type of testing as well (some will accept insurance and others will not.)\'a0 There are also educational advocates that you can hire to help you if you ever have difficulty getting your daughter properly assessed by the school system.\'a0 I also highly recommend seeing a developmental ophthalmologist\'a0and/or a developmental pediatrician.\'a0 They can be great resources\'a0in helping you to determine if your daughter does have a learning disability.I always say that a parent should ""trust their gut"" and if you feel that your child is struggling and that there may be a learning disability then there is no harm in getting your child evaluated.\'a0 The best case scenario\'a0is that your child is completely on track and what you are seeing is developmentally appropriate.\'a0 On the other hand, if your child does have a learning disability, then you have caught it early enough where she can receive services that will help her in the long run. Either way, it is a win, win.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "At times when a child is not displaying milestone behavior at the same rate that is average for their peers, this should raise concern, so you are correct in reaching out for advice. Speaking with your child's pediatrician, as well as school staff may be the first places to start. You can request that she receive an assessment and evaluation, with a subsequent treatment plan to meet any needs she may have.", | "It sounds like it might be worth asking the school for an evaluation to determine whether your daughter has any learning disabilities such as dysgraphia or dyslexia or seek an evaluation through an educational neuropsychologist.\'a0 I would also suggest having her vision checked by a developmental optometrist.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "At times when a child is not displaying milestone behavior at the same rate that is average for their peers, this should raise concern, so you are correct in reaching out for advice. Speaking with your child's pediatrician, as well as school staff may be the first places to start. You can request that she receive an assessment and evaluation, with a subsequent treatment plan to meet any needs she may have.", | "If your daughter is the same age as most of the other students in her class, and the other students easily complete the tasks you list here, then there is a problem in the performance of these tasks for your daughter.Without knowing more about the context of your daughter's life, for example, is she a new student to the school and class, are there major stressors in the home environment, does your daughter have friends, does your daughter have the same problems she has in school, when she is in other environments?Also, who is telling you she has these problems? \'a0Are you the one who notices what you describe here or is your daughter or is her teacher telling you these facts?Depending on your answers to the questions, start to get clarity with the classroom teacher and the school guidance counselor as to the source of your daughter's problem.Good luck!", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "At times when a child is not displaying milestone behavior at the same rate that is average for their peers, this should raise concern, so you are correct in reaching out for advice. Speaking with your child's pediatrician, as well as school staff may be the first places to start. You can request that she receive an assessment and evaluation, with a subsequent treatment plan to meet any needs she may have.", | "There could be a number of things going on here. For instance, have her eyes been checked by an optometrist? She might just not like writing or coloring. She could be rushing through assignments so that she can spend time with friends, play games, or do something else. She might need some extra help with fine motor skills. What are her grades like? Does she rush through other things like cleaning her room or getting ready for bed?", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "At times when a child is not displaying milestone behavior at the same rate that is average for their peers, this should raise concern, so you are correct in reaching out for advice. Speaking with your child's pediatrician, as well as school staff may be the first places to start. You can request that she receive an assessment and evaluation, with a subsequent treatment plan to meet any needs she may have.", | "It's hard to tell from the information that you were able to provide here, but talk with her elementary school a guidance counselor. Someone working with the school (usually a school psychologist) should be able to evaluate her to see if she needs extra help and to tell you more clearly what may be happening.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Kids develop in different ways and different speeds. It can sometimes feel like your kid has a delay because of these different ways of development. If you have concerns about your child\'92s development then addressing it with the school is the best solution. They will be able to provide a full assessment if needed with an academic diagnosis as well as academic support.", | "Contact your daughter\'92s school and ask for an occupational therapy evaluation. An occupational therapist can determine if your daughter struggles with eye-hand coordination, visual processing or sensory motor difficulties. The therapist will develop a plan of care if your daughter demonstrates delays or difficulties in learning.\'a0OTontheGo.org mobile therapy that comes to you! Accepting most insurance.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Kids develop in different ways and different speeds. It can sometimes feel like your kid has a delay because of these different ways of development. If you have concerns about your child\'92s development then addressing it with the school is the best solution. They will be able to provide a full assessment if needed with an academic diagnosis as well as academic support.", | "Developmentally, there are ages where not coloring in the lines, writing words that are jumbled together, and leaving big spaces or skipping lines are completely normal.\'a0 I have seen children in 3rd and in\'a0some cases, 4th grade who do not have learning disabilities write in the manner you have described.\'a0\'a0There is, however, a type of learning disability called Dysgraphia which can present in the ways you have described. If you suspect that your daughter might have Dysgraphia, then the best thing to do is to have educational testing done.\'a0 You can request testing by going through your school system and asking for an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting.\'a0 Your school is required to honor your request for an IEP meeting.\'a0\'a0At the meeting, you can ask the school to do educational testing that will be at no cost to you.\'a0 I will say that depending on where you live and your school system, it can sometimes be difficult to get the school system to do testing.\'a0 If that is the case, you can go to a psychologist or find an agency near you that can also perform this type of testing as well (some will accept insurance and others will not.)\'a0 There are also educational advocates that you can hire to help you if you ever have difficulty getting your daughter properly assessed by the school system.\'a0 I also highly recommend seeing a developmental ophthalmologist\'a0and/or a developmental pediatrician.\'a0 They can be great resources\'a0in helping you to determine if your daughter does have a learning disability.I always say that a parent should ""trust their gut"" and if you feel that your child is struggling and that there may be a learning disability then there is no harm in getting your child evaluated.\'a0 The best case scenario\'a0is that your child is completely on track and what you are seeing is developmentally appropriate.\'a0 On the other hand, if your child does have a learning disability, then you have caught it early enough where she can receive services that will help her in the long run. Either way, it is a win, win.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Kids develop in different ways and different speeds. It can sometimes feel like your kid has a delay because of these different ways of development. If you have concerns about your child\'92s development then addressing it with the school is the best solution. They will be able to provide a full assessment if needed with an academic diagnosis as well as academic support.", | "It sounds like it might be worth asking the school for an evaluation to determine whether your daughter has any learning disabilities such as dysgraphia or dyslexia or seek an evaluation through an educational neuropsychologist.\'a0 I would also suggest having her vision checked by a developmental optometrist.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Kids develop in different ways and different speeds. It can sometimes feel like your kid has a delay because of these different ways of development. If you have concerns about your child\'92s development then addressing it with the school is the best solution. They will be able to provide a full assessment if needed with an academic diagnosis as well as academic support.", | "If your daughter is the same age as most of the other students in her class, and the other students easily complete the tasks you list here, then there is a problem in the performance of these tasks for your daughter.Without knowing more about the context of your daughter's life, for example, is she a new student to the school and class, are there major stressors in the home environment, does your daughter have friends, does your daughter have the same problems she has in school, when she is in other environments?Also, who is telling you she has these problems? \'a0Are you the one who notices what you describe here or is your daughter or is her teacher telling you these facts?Depending on your answers to the questions, start to get clarity with the classroom teacher and the school guidance counselor as to the source of your daughter's problem.Good luck!", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Kids develop in different ways and different speeds. It can sometimes feel like your kid has a delay because of these different ways of development. If you have concerns about your child\'92s development then addressing it with the school is the best solution. They will be able to provide a full assessment if needed with an academic diagnosis as well as academic support.", | "There could be a number of things going on here. For instance, have her eyes been checked by an optometrist? She might just not like writing or coloring. She could be rushing through assignments so that she can spend time with friends, play games, or do something else. She might need some extra help with fine motor skills. What are her grades like? Does she rush through other things like cleaning her room or getting ready for bed?", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Kids develop in different ways and different speeds. It can sometimes feel like your kid has a delay because of these different ways of development. If you have concerns about your child\'92s development then addressing it with the school is the best solution. They will be able to provide a full assessment if needed with an academic diagnosis as well as academic support.", | "It's hard to tell from the information that you were able to provide here, but talk with her elementary school a guidance counselor. Someone working with the school (usually a school psychologist) should be able to evaluate her to see if she needs extra help and to tell you more clearly what may be happening.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Contact your daughter\'92s school and ask for an occupational therapy evaluation. An occupational therapist can determine if your daughter struggles with eye-hand coordination, visual processing or sensory motor difficulties. The therapist will develop a plan of care if your daughter demonstrates delays or difficulties in learning.\'a0OTontheGo.org mobile therapy that comes to you! Accepting most insurance.", | "Developmentally, there are ages where not coloring in the lines, writing words that are jumbled together, and leaving big spaces or skipping lines are completely normal.\'a0 I have seen children in 3rd and in\'a0some cases, 4th grade who do not have learning disabilities write in the manner you have described.\'a0\'a0There is, however, a type of learning disability called Dysgraphia which can present in the ways you have described. If you suspect that your daughter might have Dysgraphia, then the best thing to do is to have educational testing done.\'a0 You can request testing by going through your school system and asking for an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting.\'a0 Your school is required to honor your request for an IEP meeting.\'a0\'a0At the meeting, you can ask the school to do educational testing that will be at no cost to you.\'a0 I will say that depending on where you live and your school system, it can sometimes be difficult to get the school system to do testing.\'a0 If that is the case, you can go to a psychologist or find an agency near you that can also perform this type of testing as well (some will accept insurance and others will not.)\'a0 There are also educational advocates that you can hire to help you if you ever have difficulty getting your daughter properly assessed by the school system.\'a0 I also highly recommend seeing a developmental ophthalmologist\'a0and/or a developmental pediatrician.\'a0 They can be great resources\'a0in helping you to determine if your daughter does have a learning disability.I always say that a parent should ""trust their gut"" and if you feel that your child is struggling and that there may be a learning disability then there is no harm in getting your child evaluated.\'a0 The best case scenario\'a0is that your child is completely on track and what you are seeing is developmentally appropriate.\'a0 On the other hand, if your child does have a learning disability, then you have caught it early enough where she can receive services that will help her in the long run. Either way, it is a win, win.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Contact your daughter\'92s school and ask for an occupational therapy evaluation. An occupational therapist can determine if your daughter struggles with eye-hand coordination, visual processing or sensory motor difficulties. The therapist will develop a plan of care if your daughter demonstrates delays or difficulties in learning.\'a0OTontheGo.org mobile therapy that comes to you! Accepting most insurance.", | "It sounds like it might be worth asking the school for an evaluation to determine whether your daughter has any learning disabilities such as dysgraphia or dyslexia or seek an evaluation through an educational neuropsychologist.\'a0 I would also suggest having her vision checked by a developmental optometrist.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Contact your daughter\'92s school and ask for an occupational therapy evaluation. An occupational therapist can determine if your daughter struggles with eye-hand coordination, visual processing or sensory motor difficulties. The therapist will develop a plan of care if your daughter demonstrates delays or difficulties in learning.\'a0OTontheGo.org mobile therapy that comes to you! Accepting most insurance.", | "If your daughter is the same age as most of the other students in her class, and the other students easily complete the tasks you list here, then there is a problem in the performance of these tasks for your daughter.Without knowing more about the context of your daughter's life, for example, is she a new student to the school and class, are there major stressors in the home environment, does your daughter have friends, does your daughter have the same problems she has in school, when she is in other environments?Also, who is telling you she has these problems? \'a0Are you the one who notices what you describe here or is your daughter or is her teacher telling you these facts?Depending on your answers to the questions, start to get clarity with the classroom teacher and the school guidance counselor as to the source of your daughter's problem.Good luck!", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Contact your daughter\'92s school and ask for an occupational therapy evaluation. An occupational therapist can determine if your daughter struggles with eye-hand coordination, visual processing or sensory motor difficulties. The therapist will develop a plan of care if your daughter demonstrates delays or difficulties in learning.\'a0OTontheGo.org mobile therapy that comes to you! Accepting most insurance.", | "There could be a number of things going on here. For instance, have her eyes been checked by an optometrist? She might just not like writing or coloring. She could be rushing through assignments so that she can spend time with friends, play games, or do something else. She might need some extra help with fine motor skills. What are her grades like? Does she rush through other things like cleaning her room or getting ready for bed?", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Contact your daughter\'92s school and ask for an occupational therapy evaluation. An occupational therapist can determine if your daughter struggles with eye-hand coordination, visual processing or sensory motor difficulties. The therapist will develop a plan of care if your daughter demonstrates delays or difficulties in learning.\'a0OTontheGo.org mobile therapy that comes to you! Accepting most insurance.", | "It's hard to tell from the information that you were able to provide here, but talk with her elementary school a guidance counselor. Someone working with the school (usually a school psychologist) should be able to evaluate her to see if she needs extra help and to tell you more clearly what may be happening.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Developmentally, there are ages where not coloring in the lines, writing words that are jumbled together, and leaving big spaces or skipping lines are completely normal.\'a0 I have seen children in 3rd and in\'a0some cases, 4th grade who do not have learning disabilities write in the manner you have described.\'a0\'a0There is, however, a type of learning disability called Dysgraphia which can present in the ways you have described. If you suspect that your daughter might have Dysgraphia, then the best thing to do is to have educational testing done.\'a0 You can request testing by going through your school system and asking for an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting.\'a0 Your school is required to honor your request for an IEP meeting.\'a0\'a0At the meeting, you can ask the school to do educational testing that will be at no cost to you.\'a0 I will say that depending on where you live and your school system, it can sometimes be difficult to get the school system to do testing.\'a0 If that is the case, you can go to a psychologist or find an agency near you that can also perform this type of testing as well (some will accept insurance and others will not.)\'a0 There are also educational advocates that you can hire to help you if you ever have difficulty getting your daughter properly assessed by the school system.\'a0 I also highly recommend seeing a developmental ophthalmologist\'a0and/or a developmental pediatrician.\'a0 They can be great resources\'a0in helping you to determine if your daughter does have a learning disability.I always say that a parent should ""trust their gut"" and if you feel that your child is struggling and that there may be a learning disability then there is no harm in getting your child evaluated.\'a0 The best case scenario\'a0is that your child is completely on track and what you are seeing is developmentally appropriate.\'a0 On the other hand, if your child does have a learning disability, then you have caught it early enough where she can receive services that will help her in the long run. Either way, it is a win, win.", | "It sounds like it might be worth asking the school for an evaluation to determine whether your daughter has any learning disabilities such as dysgraphia or dyslexia or seek an evaluation through an educational neuropsychologist.\'a0 I would also suggest having her vision checked by a developmental optometrist.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "If your daughter is the same age as most of the other students in her class, and the other students easily complete the tasks you list here, then there is a problem in the performance of these tasks for your daughter.Without knowing more about the context of your daughter's life, for example, is she a new student to the school and class, are there major stressors in the home environment, does your daughter have friends, does your daughter have the same problems she has in school, when she is in other environments?Also, who is telling you she has these problems? \'a0Are you the one who notices what you describe here or is your daughter or is her teacher telling you these facts?Depending on your answers to the questions, start to get clarity with the classroom teacher and the school guidance counselor as to the source of your daughter's problem.Good luck!", | "Developmentally, there are ages where not coloring in the lines, writing words that are jumbled together, and leaving big spaces or skipping lines are completely normal.\'a0 I have seen children in 3rd and in\'a0some cases, 4th grade who do not have learning disabilities write in the manner you have described.\'a0\'a0There is, however, a type of learning disability called Dysgraphia which can present in the ways you have described. If you suspect that your daughter might have Dysgraphia, then the best thing to do is to have educational testing done.\'a0 You can request testing by going through your school system and asking for an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting.\'a0 Your school is required to honor your request for an IEP meeting.\'a0\'a0At the meeting, you can ask the school to do educational testing that will be at no cost to you.\'a0 I will say that depending on where you live and your school system, it can sometimes be difficult to get the school system to do testing.\'a0 If that is the case, you can go to a psychologist or find an agency near you that can also perform this type of testing as well (some will accept insurance and others will not.)\'a0 There are also educational advocates that you can hire to help you if you ever have difficulty getting your daughter properly assessed by the school system.\'a0 I also highly recommend seeing a developmental ophthalmologist\'a0and/or a developmental pediatrician.\'a0 They can be great resources\'a0in helping you to determine if your daughter does have a learning disability.I always say that a parent should ""trust their gut"" and if you feel that your child is struggling and that there may be a learning disability then there is no harm in getting your child evaluated.\'a0 The best case scenario\'a0is that your child is completely on track and what you are seeing is developmentally appropriate.\'a0 On the other hand, if your child does have a learning disability, then you have caught it early enough where she can receive services that will help her in the long run. Either way, it is a win, win.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Developmentally, there are ages where not coloring in the lines, writing words that are jumbled together, and leaving big spaces or skipping lines are completely normal.\'a0 I have seen children in 3rd and in\'a0some cases, 4th grade who do not have learning disabilities write in the manner you have described.\'a0\'a0There is, however, a type of learning disability called Dysgraphia which can present in the ways you have described. If you suspect that your daughter might have Dysgraphia, then the best thing to do is to have educational testing done.\'a0 You can request testing by going through your school system and asking for an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting.\'a0 Your school is required to honor your request for an IEP meeting.\'a0\'a0At the meeting, you can ask the school to do educational testing that will be at no cost to you.\'a0 I will say that depending on where you live and your school system, it can sometimes be difficult to get the school system to do testing.\'a0 If that is the case, you can go to a psychologist or find an agency near you that can also perform this type of testing as well (some will accept insurance and others will not.)\'a0 There are also educational advocates that you can hire to help you if you ever have difficulty getting your daughter properly assessed by the school system.\'a0 I also highly recommend seeing a developmental ophthalmologist\'a0and/or a developmental pediatrician.\'a0 They can be great resources\'a0in helping you to determine if your daughter does have a learning disability.I always say that a parent should ""trust their gut"" and if you feel that your child is struggling and that there may be a learning disability then there is no harm in getting your child evaluated.\'a0 The best case scenario\'a0is that your child is completely on track and what you are seeing is developmentally appropriate.\'a0 On the other hand, if your child does have a learning disability, then you have caught it early enough where she can receive services that will help her in the long run. Either way, it is a win, win.", | "There could be a number of things going on here. For instance, have her eyes been checked by an optometrist? She might just not like writing or coloring. She could be rushing through assignments so that she can spend time with friends, play games, or do something else. She might need some extra help with fine motor skills. What are her grades like? Does she rush through other things like cleaning her room or getting ready for bed?", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "Developmentally, there are ages where not coloring in the lines, writing words that are jumbled together, and leaving big spaces or skipping lines are completely normal.\'a0 I have seen children in 3rd and in\'a0some cases, 4th grade who do not have learning disabilities write in the manner you have described.\'a0\'a0There is, however, a type of learning disability called Dysgraphia which can present in the ways you have described. If you suspect that your daughter might have Dysgraphia, then the best thing to do is to have educational testing done.\'a0 You can request testing by going through your school system and asking for an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting.\'a0 Your school is required to honor your request for an IEP meeting.\'a0\'a0At the meeting, you can ask the school to do educational testing that will be at no cost to you.\'a0 I will say that depending on where you live and your school system, it can sometimes be difficult to get the school system to do testing.\'a0 If that is the case, you can go to a psychologist or find an agency near you that can also perform this type of testing as well (some will accept insurance and others will not.)\'a0 There are also educational advocates that you can hire to help you if you ever have difficulty getting your daughter properly assessed by the school system.\'a0 I also highly recommend seeing a developmental ophthalmologist\'a0and/or a developmental pediatrician.\'a0 They can be great resources\'a0in helping you to determine if your daughter does have a learning disability.I always say that a parent should ""trust their gut"" and if you feel that your child is struggling and that there may be a learning disability then there is no harm in getting your child evaluated.\'a0 The best case scenario\'a0is that your child is completely on track and what you are seeing is developmentally appropriate.\'a0 On the other hand, if your child does have a learning disability, then you have caught it early enough where she can receive services that will help her in the long run. Either way, it is a win, win.", | "It's hard to tell from the information that you were able to provide here, but talk with her elementary school a guidance counselor. Someone working with the school (usually a school psychologist) should be able to evaluate her to see if she needs extra help and to tell you more clearly what may be happening.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "If your daughter is the same age as most of the other students in her class, and the other students easily complete the tasks you list here, then there is a problem in the performance of these tasks for your daughter.Without knowing more about the context of your daughter's life, for example, is she a new student to the school and class, are there major stressors in the home environment, does your daughter have friends, does your daughter have the same problems she has in school, when she is in other environments?Also, who is telling you she has these problems? \'a0Are you the one who notices what you describe here or is your daughter or is her teacher telling you these facts?Depending on your answers to the questions, start to get clarity with the classroom teacher and the school guidance counselor as to the source of your daughter's problem.Good luck!", | "It sounds like it might be worth asking the school for an evaluation to determine whether your daughter has any learning disabilities such as dysgraphia or dyslexia or seek an evaluation through an educational neuropsychologist.\'a0 I would also suggest having her vision checked by a developmental optometrist.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "It sounds like it might be worth asking the school for an evaluation to determine whether your daughter has any learning disabilities such as dysgraphia or dyslexia or seek an evaluation through an educational neuropsychologist.\'a0 I would also suggest having her vision checked by a developmental optometrist.", | "There could be a number of things going on here. For instance, have her eyes been checked by an optometrist? She might just not like writing or coloring. She could be rushing through assignments so that she can spend time with friends, play games, or do something else. She might need some extra help with fine motor skills. What are her grades like? Does she rush through other things like cleaning her room or getting ready for bed?", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "It sounds like it might be worth asking the school for an evaluation to determine whether your daughter has any learning disabilities such as dysgraphia or dyslexia or seek an evaluation through an educational neuropsychologist.\'a0 I would also suggest having her vision checked by a developmental optometrist.", | "It's hard to tell from the information that you were able to provide here, but talk with her elementary school a guidance counselor. Someone working with the school (usually a school psychologist) should be able to evaluate her to see if she needs extra help and to tell you more clearly what may be happening.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "If your daughter is the same age as most of the other students in her class, and the other students easily complete the tasks you list here, then there is a problem in the performance of these tasks for your daughter.Without knowing more about the context of your daughter's life, for example, is she a new student to the school and class, are there major stressors in the home environment, does your daughter have friends, does your daughter have the same problems she has in school, when she is in other environments?Also, who is telling you she has these problems? \'a0Are you the one who notices what you describe here or is your daughter or is her teacher telling you these facts?Depending on your answers to the questions, start to get clarity with the classroom teacher and the school guidance counselor as to the source of your daughter's problem.Good luck!", | "There could be a number of things going on here. For instance, have her eyes been checked by an optometrist? She might just not like writing or coloring. She could be rushing through assignments so that she can spend time with friends, play games, or do something else. She might need some extra help with fine motor skills. What are her grades like? Does she rush through other things like cleaning her room or getting ready for bed?", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "If your daughter is the same age as most of the other students in her class, and the other students easily complete the tasks you list here, then there is a problem in the performance of these tasks for your daughter.Without knowing more about the context of your daughter's life, for example, is she a new student to the school and class, are there major stressors in the home environment, does your daughter have friends, does your daughter have the same problems she has in school, when she is in other environments?Also, who is telling you she has these problems? \'a0Are you the one who notices what you describe here or is your daughter or is her teacher telling you these facts?Depending on your answers to the questions, start to get clarity with the classroom teacher and the school guidance counselor as to the source of your daughter's problem.Good luck!", | "It's hard to tell from the information that you were able to provide here, but talk with her elementary school a guidance counselor. Someone working with the school (usually a school psychologist) should be able to evaluate her to see if she needs extra help and to tell you more clearly what may be happening.", |
Does my daughter have a mental disability?My daughter is in later elementary school. She can't color in the lines. Her words jumble together when she writes unless there are big spaces or she skips lines. | "There could be a number of things going on here. For instance, have her eyes been checked by an optometrist? She might just not like writing or coloring. She could be rushing through assignments so that she can spend time with friends, play games, or do something else. She might need some extra help with fine motor skills. What are her grades like? Does she rush through other things like cleaning her room or getting ready for bed?", | "It's hard to tell from the information that you were able to provide here, but talk with her elementary school a guidance counselor. Someone working with the school (usually a school psychologist) should be able to evaluate her to see if she needs extra help and to tell you more clearly what may be happening.", |
My daughter isn't acting her ageMy daughter seemed to be developing at a normal rate until about the age of . She then started to act younger than she is. Now she only wants to play with younger kids and she doesn't act her age. I don't know why this is happening. Is this normal? | "Your daughter is fortunate to have an observant parent, who is willing to seek out help in this regard.\'a0Regression can be indicative of some stress in your child's life, so the issues she is facing should be examined.\'a0Seeking advice from your daughter's pediatrician, as well as a practitioner familiar with adolescent issues or perhaps play therapy can equip you with insight into the causes of the behavior, and give you tools to assist your daughter in learning age appropriate social interactions.", | "Hello.It sounds like you are really concerned about your daughter because you have noticed a significant change in her behavior . \'a0 It's really a great first step that you are reaching out to get some ideas about what might be going on . \'a0You are clearly an observant and hands on \'a0mom who wants to be sure that her daughter is ok.This is a tough question to answer without more information . \'a0With that said , I have found that ""under stress people regress."" \'a0In other words , many people , children and adults alike , often regress and behave differently - as if they were younger than their actual age - when under stress . \'a0 Therefore , my first question would be : has anything been happening recently that is causing your daughter stress ? \'a0This could be anything from conflict at home , recent changes such as moving , divorce , a loss of some kind , switching schools , or losing a friend or friends . \'a0 Additionally , sometimes if children are feeling bullied or left out by same age peers , they may gravitate toward younger playmates as a way to boost their social confidence . \'a0 \'a0I would suggest that you think about what stressors / changes may have occurred recently. \'a0You may also want to check in with her teacher (s) to see if they have noticed any changes in your daughter's behavior at school .I also think that you can have a conversation with your daughter in order to see if you can get a sense about whether or not something has been bothering her. \'a0Something as simple as "" I have noticed that you aren't spending time with the friends you used to hang out with ; it seems like you have been playing with a lot of younger kids lately . \'a0Am I right about that ? "" and then if she says yes you might ask a few questions such as : ""did something happen with your friends that \'a0is making you not want to be with them?"" ""Has something been bothering you lately ? Are you feeling upset or worried ? ""\'a0If she denies that there is anything wrong you might even say "" I know that sometimes when I feel stressed or worried , I tend to act a little differently - sometimes I withdraw from my regular group of friends , or I get cranky and feel less like myself . \'a0I wonder if something like that is happening with you ?""\'a0If you are really concerned and not getting any answers from her and / or her teachers , perhaps you can consult with a therapist to discuss your concerns further and decide if it might \'a0help for your daughter to talk to a therapist a few times , or at the very least you can get more specific tips from a therapist about how to approach this issue with your daughter more effectively . The more detail you can provide about what you have noticed with your daughter , including any changes or new stressors , \'a0any possible patterns to this behavior , if school has become more difficult socially and or academically , the more a therapist can guide you about how best to handle your concerns and talk with your daughter in a way that is helpful to her.\'a0Good luck! \'a0 I believe that this may just be a phase and it seems to me to be well within the normal range of children's behavior. \'a0I do, though, think that you will feel more assured about this \'a0if you can get to the bottom of what's going on .", |
My daughter isn't acting her ageMy daughter seemed to be developing at a normal rate until about the age of . She then started to act younger than she is. Now she only wants to play with younger kids and she doesn't act her age. I don't know why this is happening. Is this normal? | "Your daughter is fortunate to have an observant parent, who is willing to seek out help in this regard.\'a0Regression can be indicative of some stress in your child's life, so the issues she is facing should be examined.\'a0Seeking advice from your daughter's pediatrician, as well as a practitioner familiar with adolescent issues or perhaps play therapy can equip you with insight into the causes of the behavior, and give you tools to assist your daughter in learning age appropriate social interactions.", | "Good for you to know your daughter's friendship circles and to notice when these have changed.While friendships are key relationships, they are not the only indicator of someone not developing normally.Is your observation and opinion that your daughter isn't normal based on other factors or just this one?If this is the only factor then start with reflecting on what circumstances may be influencing your daughter to socialize with younger kids.Has she ben ostracized or bullied by her peers and may be retreating to avoid further emotional hurt?Is she keeping up with her school work?Sometimes kids who feel overwhelmed by schoolwork will regress into conditions in which they feel more success and control.Are there family circumstances such as the death of someone with whom your daughter felt close? \'a0Or, is there a new younger sibling in the family or a younger sibling who due to their own circumstance receives more attention than your daughter may wish for herself.Once you've reflected on which areas may be affecting your daughter, gently ask her some questions about her comfort with what you theorize may be the source of the problem.Its also possible that offering her your extra time and interest may increase her sense of self so that she feels secure enough to increase her social time with her age group.", |
My daughter isn't acting her ageMy daughter seemed to be developing at a normal rate until about the age of . She then started to act younger than she is. Now she only wants to play with younger kids and she doesn't act her age. I don't know why this is happening. Is this normal? | "Good for you to know your daughter's friendship circles and to notice when these have changed.While friendships are key relationships, they are not the only indicator of someone not developing normally.Is your observation and opinion that your daughter isn't normal based on other factors or just this one?If this is the only factor then start with reflecting on what circumstances may be influencing your daughter to socialize with younger kids.Has she ben ostracized or bullied by her peers and may be retreating to avoid further emotional hurt?Is she keeping up with her school work?Sometimes kids who feel overwhelmed by schoolwork will regress into conditions in which they feel more success and control.Are there family circumstances such as the death of someone with whom your daughter felt close? \'a0Or, is there a new younger sibling in the family or a younger sibling who due to their own circumstance receives more attention than your daughter may wish for herself.Once you've reflected on which areas may be affecting your daughter, gently ask her some questions about her comfort with what you theorize may be the source of the problem.Its also possible that offering her your extra time and interest may increase her sense of self so that she feels secure enough to increase her social time with her age group.", | "Hello.It sounds like you are really concerned about your daughter because you have noticed a significant change in her behavior . \'a0 It's really a great first step that you are reaching out to get some ideas about what might be going on . \'a0You are clearly an observant and hands on \'a0mom who wants to be sure that her daughter is ok.This is a tough question to answer without more information . \'a0With that said , I have found that ""under stress people regress."" \'a0In other words , many people , children and adults alike , often regress and behave differently - as if they were younger than their actual age - when under stress . \'a0 Therefore , my first question would be : has anything been happening recently that is causing your daughter stress ? \'a0This could be anything from conflict at home , recent changes such as moving , divorce , a loss of some kind , switching schools , or losing a friend or friends . \'a0 Additionally , sometimes if children are feeling bullied or left out by same age peers , they may gravitate toward younger playmates as a way to boost their social confidence . \'a0 \'a0I would suggest that you think about what stressors / changes may have occurred recently. \'a0You may also want to check in with her teacher (s) to see if they have noticed any changes in your daughter's behavior at school .I also think that you can have a conversation with your daughter in order to see if you can get a sense about whether or not something has been bothering her. \'a0Something as simple as "" I have noticed that you aren't spending time with the friends you used to hang out with ; it seems like you have been playing with a lot of younger kids lately . \'a0Am I right about that ? "" and then if she says yes you might ask a few questions such as : ""did something happen with your friends that \'a0is making you not want to be with them?"" ""Has something been bothering you lately ? Are you feeling upset or worried ? ""\'a0If she denies that there is anything wrong you might even say "" I know that sometimes when I feel stressed or worried , I tend to act a little differently - sometimes I withdraw from my regular group of friends , or I get cranky and feel less like myself . \'a0I wonder if something like that is happening with you ?""\'a0If you are really concerned and not getting any answers from her and / or her teachers , perhaps you can consult with a therapist to discuss your concerns further and decide if it might \'a0help for your daughter to talk to a therapist a few times , or at the very least you can get more specific tips from a therapist about how to approach this issue with your daughter more effectively . The more detail you can provide about what you have noticed with your daughter , including any changes or new stressors , \'a0any possible patterns to this behavior , if school has become more difficult socially and or academically , the more a therapist can guide you about how best to handle your concerns and talk with your daughter in a way that is helpful to her.\'a0Good luck! \'a0 I believe that this may just be a phase and it seems to me to be well within the normal range of children's behavior. \'a0I do, though, think that you will feel more assured about this \'a0if you can get to the bottom of what's going on .", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "Your child is not part of your past, he or she is part of your present and future. Your child needs you. Statistics about fatherless children are staggering. Research shows children raised in a father-absent\'a0 home experience the following: 4x greater risk of poverty, more likely to have behavioral problems, 7x more likely to become pregnant as a teen, more likely to face abuse and neglect, more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, 2x more likely to suffer obesity, 2x more likely to drop out of school, more likely to commit crime and more likely to go to prison. Listen to your heart and ask yourself, what do you want for your child? Co-parenting is hard when each parent is unable to prioritize the best interests of the child. You and your ex-wife can get help learning how to co-parent in a way that will work for each of you with the best interest of your child in mind. What is confusing for a child is why did my parent abandon me and they will struggle with issues of worthiness and self-esteem for the rest of their lives. Here are some websites for you to check out and get help with the most important job you'll ever have...being a father! | "Hi, your situation sounds very complicated and sensitive. \'a0It is important to handle it with care as it involves your children. \'a0When parents are attempting to co-parent, the clearer the boundaries and expectations are the easier it gets to effectively co-parent. \'a0Parenting your child is not \'93living in the past\'94, allow me to reframe that approach and instead view it as an investment in your future. \'a0Your child will forever be your child and deserves and active loving and caring father. \'a0Staying away sends a different message to your child and leaves room for resentment. \'a0Find a way to create an agreement between you and your ex-wife with the best interest of your child as the focus. \'a0The courts are able to assist with this goal as well.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "Your child is not part of your past, he or she is part of your present and future. Your child needs you. Statistics about fatherless children are staggering. Research shows children raised in a father-absent\'a0 home experience the following: 4x greater risk of poverty, more likely to have behavioral problems, 7x more likely to become pregnant as a teen, more likely to face abuse and neglect, more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, 2x more likely to suffer obesity, 2x more likely to drop out of school, more likely to commit crime and more likely to go to prison. Listen to your heart and ask yourself, what do you want for your child? Co-parenting is hard when each parent is unable to prioritize the best interests of the child. You and your ex-wife can get help learning how to co-parent in a way that will work for each of you with the best interest of your child in mind. What is confusing for a child is why did my parent abandon me and they will struggle with issues of worthiness and self-esteem for the rest of their lives. Here are some websites for you to check out and get help with the most important job you'll ever have...being a father! | "The thing that confuses a child the most is for a parent to come and go from their life. Children have a way of making things their fault, even when they have done nothing wrong. Because of this, when parents cut off contact, the child thinks it's their fault.\'a0As hard as that already is for a child, it is even worse when a parent pops in and out of their life. This makes the belief even more strong for them. They start to think, ""why does dad keep leaving? What am I doing to keep making him go away?""I believe a child needs both parents in their life. Whether she used you for a child or not, that child still exists and never asked for this. They didn't ask to be born into drama and two parents that can't make things work.\'a0You can move on and start over while still maintaining a relationship with your child. If you start over far away, this may mean less visits but you'll still be a part of their life. Just make sure when you make a commitment to this child to stick to it. Every child deserves that much.\'a0Good luck to you! :-)", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "Your child is not part of your past, he or she is part of your present and future. Your child needs you. Statistics about fatherless children are staggering. Research shows children raised in a father-absent\'a0 home experience the following: 4x greater risk of poverty, more likely to have behavioral problems, 7x more likely to become pregnant as a teen, more likely to face abuse and neglect, more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, 2x more likely to suffer obesity, 2x more likely to drop out of school, more likely to commit crime and more likely to go to prison. Listen to your heart and ask yourself, what do you want for your child? Co-parenting is hard when each parent is unable to prioritize the best interests of the child. You and your ex-wife can get help learning how to co-parent in a way that will work for each of you with the best interest of your child in mind. What is confusing for a child is why did my parent abandon me and they will struggle with issues of worthiness and self-esteem for the rest of their lives. Here are some websites for you to check out and get help with the most important job you'll ever have...being a father! | "What are the ways your ex-wife uses your child as a pawn?This answer determines the best ways to handle particular situations.Basically, distinguish that your father relationship to your child lasts has great meaning for your child and as the adult, the responsibility for managing this relationship falls on you.Your relationship to your ex wife took place between two adults and therefore you are only responsible for your own actions to repair the damage done to you.From what you write, you already have a plan in progress to do this by separating yourself as much as possible from contact with the ex.In a way the challenge of keeping active as a parent while also distancing and clearing your emotions of the hurt and betrayal done to you, will establish both a solid relationship with your child and grow more acceptance and self-forgiveness of having been taken advantage of and tricked.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "Your child is not part of your past, he or she is part of your present and future. Your child needs you. Statistics about fatherless children are staggering. Research shows children raised in a father-absent\'a0 home experience the following: 4x greater risk of poverty, more likely to have behavioral problems, 7x more likely to become pregnant as a teen, more likely to face abuse and neglect, more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, 2x more likely to suffer obesity, 2x more likely to drop out of school, more likely to commit crime and more likely to go to prison. Listen to your heart and ask yourself, what do you want for your child? Co-parenting is hard when each parent is unable to prioritize the best interests of the child. You and your ex-wife can get help learning how to co-parent in a way that will work for each of you with the best interest of your child in mind. What is confusing for a child is why did my parent abandon me and they will struggle with issues of worthiness and self-esteem for the rest of their lives. Here are some websites for you to check out and get help with the most important job you'll ever have...being a father! | "I am really glad you reached out. When parents get divorced, they still need to figure out how to have relationship so that they can parent their child. We might divorce our partners, however, we don't divorce our children. If anything our children need to know that we are still a stable force in their lives. Unfortunately, in some relationships children get used as a bargaining piece and I am hearing that may be happening in your relationship.\'a0You can move on from the relationship with your ex while still maintaining a relationship with your child. It is possible and it takes both parents to agree to do the right thing by their child. It is important for your children to have some consistency in his or her time with you. For example, if you and your ex don't have a parenting schedule it is something that you want to create so that you can not only decide for you when you will see your child, but your child can know when you will be available just for her. This will lay the foundation for consistency and allow your child to have some security in troubled times.I would highly recommend you sit down with your ex and discuss how you can both be a positive source in your child's life. How you can both be there to help raise her. If this is not a conversation that you can have on your own you might seek out help from the court. There are parenting experts and mediators who might be able to assist you.Remember, in any discussion keep the focus on what is best for your child and you will be moving in the right direction.Best of luck to you!", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "Your child is not part of your past, he or she is part of your present and future. Your child needs you. Statistics about fatherless children are staggering. Research shows children raised in a father-absent\'a0 home experience the following: 4x greater risk of poverty, more likely to have behavioral problems, 7x more likely to become pregnant as a teen, more likely to face abuse and neglect, more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, 2x more likely to suffer obesity, 2x more likely to drop out of school, more likely to commit crime and more likely to go to prison. Listen to your heart and ask yourself, what do you want for your child? Co-parenting is hard when each parent is unable to prioritize the best interests of the child. You and your ex-wife can get help learning how to co-parent in a way that will work for each of you with the best interest of your child in mind. What is confusing for a child is why did my parent abandon me and they will struggle with issues of worthiness and self-esteem for the rest of their lives. Here are some websites for you to check out and get help with the most important job you'll ever have...being a father! | "If you have a good relationship with your child then you have already accepted and been accepted as this child's parent and you have a commitment and an obligation to play that role. \'a0If you suddenly absent yourself from this child's life then you may be doing real damage. Working out an arrangement with the child's mother for regular visits the child can count on and committed to by both parents will serve the best interest of the child, which I assume is what both parents are truly concerned with. \'a0The visits don't have to be every day, once a week, even once a month, is better than hit and miss with long absences in between. \'a0Best of luck to you, and the fact that you asked the question says volumes about your parenting potential. \'a0Feel free to follow up with me, on line or in person.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "Your child is not part of your past, he or she is part of your present and future. Your child needs you. Statistics about fatherless children are staggering. Research shows children raised in a father-absent\'a0 home experience the following: 4x greater risk of poverty, more likely to have behavioral problems, 7x more likely to become pregnant as a teen, more likely to face abuse and neglect, more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, 2x more likely to suffer obesity, 2x more likely to drop out of school, more likely to commit crime and more likely to go to prison. Listen to your heart and ask yourself, what do you want for your child? Co-parenting is hard when each parent is unable to prioritize the best interests of the child. You and your ex-wife can get help learning how to co-parent in a way that will work for each of you with the best interest of your child in mind. What is confusing for a child is why did my parent abandon me and they will struggle with issues of worthiness and self-esteem for the rest of their lives. Here are some websites for you to check out and get help with the most important job you'll ever have...being a father! | "You're in a difficult situation and on behalf of you and your child, I commend you for trying to find the right thing to do.Short version: your child needs you as much as possible. period. Always. We used to think that children were almost always harmed by divorce, unless there was extreme conflict or violence. More recent data shows that children are not necessarily harmed by divorce if they keep both their parents. In other words, the damaging part is losing half of themselves and losing the value of being connected to everyone who loves them, especially the other parent, in addition to the extra benefit there is from the other parent's perspective, strengths and so on.\'a0The best thing for your child is for you to be available and loving and doing everything possible to allow the child to be whole - a person who incorporates BOTH parents. It's a tragedy for everyone to use a child to achieve adult aims, like getting back at a former spouse. In such a circumstance, your child needs you more than ever. If you and your wife have different rules and so on, your child will learn to adjust and adapt, just as they would if you remained in the household. A child quickly learns that they talk to mom about x,y,z or get away with whatever, but has different rules with dad. He/she will not be too confused in the long run.\'a0Please stay the course in dealing with a difficult ex-wife for you and your child's wellbeing. Best of luck to all.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "The thing that confuses a child the most is for a parent to come and go from their life. Children have a way of making things their fault, even when they have done nothing wrong. Because of this, when parents cut off contact, the child thinks it's their fault.\'a0As hard as that already is for a child, it is even worse when a parent pops in and out of their life. This makes the belief even more strong for them. They start to think, ""why does dad keep leaving? What am I doing to keep making him go away?""I believe a child needs both parents in their life. Whether she used you for a child or not, that child still exists and never asked for this. They didn't ask to be born into drama and two parents that can't make things work.\'a0You can move on and start over while still maintaining a relationship with your child. If you start over far away, this may mean less visits but you'll still be a part of their life. Just make sure when you make a commitment to this child to stick to it. Every child deserves that much.\'a0Good luck to you! :-)", | "Hi, your situation sounds very complicated and sensitive. \'a0It is important to handle it with care as it involves your children. \'a0When parents are attempting to co-parent, the clearer the boundaries and expectations are the easier it gets to effectively co-parent. \'a0Parenting your child is not \'93living in the past\'94, allow me to reframe that approach and instead view it as an investment in your future. \'a0Your child will forever be your child and deserves and active loving and caring father. \'a0Staying away sends a different message to your child and leaves room for resentment. \'a0Find a way to create an agreement between you and your ex-wife with the best interest of your child as the focus. \'a0The courts are able to assist with this goal as well.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "What are the ways your ex-wife uses your child as a pawn?This answer determines the best ways to handle particular situations.Basically, distinguish that your father relationship to your child lasts has great meaning for your child and as the adult, the responsibility for managing this relationship falls on you.Your relationship to your ex wife took place between two adults and therefore you are only responsible for your own actions to repair the damage done to you.From what you write, you already have a plan in progress to do this by separating yourself as much as possible from contact with the ex.In a way the challenge of keeping active as a parent while also distancing and clearing your emotions of the hurt and betrayal done to you, will establish both a solid relationship with your child and grow more acceptance and self-forgiveness of having been taken advantage of and tricked.", | "Hi, your situation sounds very complicated and sensitive. \'a0It is important to handle it with care as it involves your children. \'a0When parents are attempting to co-parent, the clearer the boundaries and expectations are the easier it gets to effectively co-parent. \'a0Parenting your child is not \'93living in the past\'94, allow me to reframe that approach and instead view it as an investment in your future. \'a0Your child will forever be your child and deserves and active loving and caring father. \'a0Staying away sends a different message to your child and leaves room for resentment. \'a0Find a way to create an agreement between you and your ex-wife with the best interest of your child as the focus. \'a0The courts are able to assist with this goal as well.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "Hi, your situation sounds very complicated and sensitive. \'a0It is important to handle it with care as it involves your children. \'a0When parents are attempting to co-parent, the clearer the boundaries and expectations are the easier it gets to effectively co-parent. \'a0Parenting your child is not \'93living in the past\'94, allow me to reframe that approach and instead view it as an investment in your future. \'a0Your child will forever be your child and deserves and active loving and caring father. \'a0Staying away sends a different message to your child and leaves room for resentment. \'a0Find a way to create an agreement between you and your ex-wife with the best interest of your child as the focus. \'a0The courts are able to assist with this goal as well.", | "I am really glad you reached out. When parents get divorced, they still need to figure out how to have relationship so that they can parent their child. We might divorce our partners, however, we don't divorce our children. If anything our children need to know that we are still a stable force in their lives. Unfortunately, in some relationships children get used as a bargaining piece and I am hearing that may be happening in your relationship.\'a0You can move on from the relationship with your ex while still maintaining a relationship with your child. It is possible and it takes both parents to agree to do the right thing by their child. It is important for your children to have some consistency in his or her time with you. For example, if you and your ex don't have a parenting schedule it is something that you want to create so that you can not only decide for you when you will see your child, but your child can know when you will be available just for her. This will lay the foundation for consistency and allow your child to have some security in troubled times.I would highly recommend you sit down with your ex and discuss how you can both be a positive source in your child's life. How you can both be there to help raise her. If this is not a conversation that you can have on your own you might seek out help from the court. There are parenting experts and mediators who might be able to assist you.Remember, in any discussion keep the focus on what is best for your child and you will be moving in the right direction.Best of luck to you!", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "Hi, your situation sounds very complicated and sensitive. \'a0It is important to handle it with care as it involves your children. \'a0When parents are attempting to co-parent, the clearer the boundaries and expectations are the easier it gets to effectively co-parent. \'a0Parenting your child is not \'93living in the past\'94, allow me to reframe that approach and instead view it as an investment in your future. \'a0Your child will forever be your child and deserves and active loving and caring father. \'a0Staying away sends a different message to your child and leaves room for resentment. \'a0Find a way to create an agreement between you and your ex-wife with the best interest of your child as the focus. \'a0The courts are able to assist with this goal as well.", | "If you have a good relationship with your child then you have already accepted and been accepted as this child's parent and you have a commitment and an obligation to play that role. \'a0If you suddenly absent yourself from this child's life then you may be doing real damage. Working out an arrangement with the child's mother for regular visits the child can count on and committed to by both parents will serve the best interest of the child, which I assume is what both parents are truly concerned with. \'a0The visits don't have to be every day, once a week, even once a month, is better than hit and miss with long absences in between. \'a0Best of luck to you, and the fact that you asked the question says volumes about your parenting potential. \'a0Feel free to follow up with me, on line or in person.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "Hi, your situation sounds very complicated and sensitive. \'a0It is important to handle it with care as it involves your children. \'a0When parents are attempting to co-parent, the clearer the boundaries and expectations are the easier it gets to effectively co-parent. \'a0Parenting your child is not \'93living in the past\'94, allow me to reframe that approach and instead view it as an investment in your future. \'a0Your child will forever be your child and deserves and active loving and caring father. \'a0Staying away sends a different message to your child and leaves room for resentment. \'a0Find a way to create an agreement between you and your ex-wife with the best interest of your child as the focus. \'a0The courts are able to assist with this goal as well.", | "You're in a difficult situation and on behalf of you and your child, I commend you for trying to find the right thing to do.Short version: your child needs you as much as possible. period. Always. We used to think that children were almost always harmed by divorce, unless there was extreme conflict or violence. More recent data shows that children are not necessarily harmed by divorce if they keep both their parents. In other words, the damaging part is losing half of themselves and losing the value of being connected to everyone who loves them, especially the other parent, in addition to the extra benefit there is from the other parent's perspective, strengths and so on.\'a0The best thing for your child is for you to be available and loving and doing everything possible to allow the child to be whole - a person who incorporates BOTH parents. It's a tragedy for everyone to use a child to achieve adult aims, like getting back at a former spouse. In such a circumstance, your child needs you more than ever. If you and your wife have different rules and so on, your child will learn to adjust and adapt, just as they would if you remained in the household. A child quickly learns that they talk to mom about x,y,z or get away with whatever, but has different rules with dad. He/she will not be too confused in the long run.\'a0Please stay the course in dealing with a difficult ex-wife for you and your child's wellbeing. Best of luck to all.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "What are the ways your ex-wife uses your child as a pawn?This answer determines the best ways to handle particular situations.Basically, distinguish that your father relationship to your child lasts has great meaning for your child and as the adult, the responsibility for managing this relationship falls on you.Your relationship to your ex wife took place between two adults and therefore you are only responsible for your own actions to repair the damage done to you.From what you write, you already have a plan in progress to do this by separating yourself as much as possible from contact with the ex.In a way the challenge of keeping active as a parent while also distancing and clearing your emotions of the hurt and betrayal done to you, will establish both a solid relationship with your child and grow more acceptance and self-forgiveness of having been taken advantage of and tricked.", | "The thing that confuses a child the most is for a parent to come and go from their life. Children have a way of making things their fault, even when they have done nothing wrong. Because of this, when parents cut off contact, the child thinks it's their fault.\'a0As hard as that already is for a child, it is even worse when a parent pops in and out of their life. This makes the belief even more strong for them. They start to think, ""why does dad keep leaving? What am I doing to keep making him go away?""I believe a child needs both parents in their life. Whether she used you for a child or not, that child still exists and never asked for this. They didn't ask to be born into drama and two parents that can't make things work.\'a0You can move on and start over while still maintaining a relationship with your child. If you start over far away, this may mean less visits but you'll still be a part of their life. Just make sure when you make a commitment to this child to stick to it. Every child deserves that much.\'a0Good luck to you! :-)", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "The thing that confuses a child the most is for a parent to come and go from their life. Children have a way of making things their fault, even when they have done nothing wrong. Because of this, when parents cut off contact, the child thinks it's their fault.\'a0As hard as that already is for a child, it is even worse when a parent pops in and out of their life. This makes the belief even more strong for them. They start to think, ""why does dad keep leaving? What am I doing to keep making him go away?""I believe a child needs both parents in their life. Whether she used you for a child or not, that child still exists and never asked for this. They didn't ask to be born into drama and two parents that can't make things work.\'a0You can move on and start over while still maintaining a relationship with your child. If you start over far away, this may mean less visits but you'll still be a part of their life. Just make sure when you make a commitment to this child to stick to it. Every child deserves that much.\'a0Good luck to you! :-)", | "I am really glad you reached out. When parents get divorced, they still need to figure out how to have relationship so that they can parent their child. We might divorce our partners, however, we don't divorce our children. If anything our children need to know that we are still a stable force in their lives. Unfortunately, in some relationships children get used as a bargaining piece and I am hearing that may be happening in your relationship.\'a0You can move on from the relationship with your ex while still maintaining a relationship with your child. It is possible and it takes both parents to agree to do the right thing by their child. It is important for your children to have some consistency in his or her time with you. For example, if you and your ex don't have a parenting schedule it is something that you want to create so that you can not only decide for you when you will see your child, but your child can know when you will be available just for her. This will lay the foundation for consistency and allow your child to have some security in troubled times.I would highly recommend you sit down with your ex and discuss how you can both be a positive source in your child's life. How you can both be there to help raise her. If this is not a conversation that you can have on your own you might seek out help from the court. There are parenting experts and mediators who might be able to assist you.Remember, in any discussion keep the focus on what is best for your child and you will be moving in the right direction.Best of luck to you!", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "The thing that confuses a child the most is for a parent to come and go from their life. Children have a way of making things their fault, even when they have done nothing wrong. Because of this, when parents cut off contact, the child thinks it's their fault.\'a0As hard as that already is for a child, it is even worse when a parent pops in and out of their life. This makes the belief even more strong for them. They start to think, ""why does dad keep leaving? What am I doing to keep making him go away?""I believe a child needs both parents in their life. Whether she used you for a child or not, that child still exists and never asked for this. They didn't ask to be born into drama and two parents that can't make things work.\'a0You can move on and start over while still maintaining a relationship with your child. If you start over far away, this may mean less visits but you'll still be a part of their life. Just make sure when you make a commitment to this child to stick to it. Every child deserves that much.\'a0Good luck to you! :-)", | "If you have a good relationship with your child then you have already accepted and been accepted as this child's parent and you have a commitment and an obligation to play that role. \'a0If you suddenly absent yourself from this child's life then you may be doing real damage. Working out an arrangement with the child's mother for regular visits the child can count on and committed to by both parents will serve the best interest of the child, which I assume is what both parents are truly concerned with. \'a0The visits don't have to be every day, once a week, even once a month, is better than hit and miss with long absences in between. \'a0Best of luck to you, and the fact that you asked the question says volumes about your parenting potential. \'a0Feel free to follow up with me, on line or in person.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "The thing that confuses a child the most is for a parent to come and go from their life. Children have a way of making things their fault, even when they have done nothing wrong. Because of this, when parents cut off contact, the child thinks it's their fault.\'a0As hard as that already is for a child, it is even worse when a parent pops in and out of their life. This makes the belief even more strong for them. They start to think, ""why does dad keep leaving? What am I doing to keep making him go away?""I believe a child needs both parents in their life. Whether she used you for a child or not, that child still exists and never asked for this. They didn't ask to be born into drama and two parents that can't make things work.\'a0You can move on and start over while still maintaining a relationship with your child. If you start over far away, this may mean less visits but you'll still be a part of their life. Just make sure when you make a commitment to this child to stick to it. Every child deserves that much.\'a0Good luck to you! :-)", | "You're in a difficult situation and on behalf of you and your child, I commend you for trying to find the right thing to do.Short version: your child needs you as much as possible. period. Always. We used to think that children were almost always harmed by divorce, unless there was extreme conflict or violence. More recent data shows that children are not necessarily harmed by divorce if they keep both their parents. In other words, the damaging part is losing half of themselves and losing the value of being connected to everyone who loves them, especially the other parent, in addition to the extra benefit there is from the other parent's perspective, strengths and so on.\'a0The best thing for your child is for you to be available and loving and doing everything possible to allow the child to be whole - a person who incorporates BOTH parents. It's a tragedy for everyone to use a child to achieve adult aims, like getting back at a former spouse. In such a circumstance, your child needs you more than ever. If you and your wife have different rules and so on, your child will learn to adjust and adapt, just as they would if you remained in the household. A child quickly learns that they talk to mom about x,y,z or get away with whatever, but has different rules with dad. He/she will not be too confused in the long run.\'a0Please stay the course in dealing with a difficult ex-wife for you and your child's wellbeing. Best of luck to all.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "What are the ways your ex-wife uses your child as a pawn?This answer determines the best ways to handle particular situations.Basically, distinguish that your father relationship to your child lasts has great meaning for your child and as the adult, the responsibility for managing this relationship falls on you.Your relationship to your ex wife took place between two adults and therefore you are only responsible for your own actions to repair the damage done to you.From what you write, you already have a plan in progress to do this by separating yourself as much as possible from contact with the ex.In a way the challenge of keeping active as a parent while also distancing and clearing your emotions of the hurt and betrayal done to you, will establish both a solid relationship with your child and grow more acceptance and self-forgiveness of having been taken advantage of and tricked.", | "I am really glad you reached out. When parents get divorced, they still need to figure out how to have relationship so that they can parent their child. We might divorce our partners, however, we don't divorce our children. If anything our children need to know that we are still a stable force in their lives. Unfortunately, in some relationships children get used as a bargaining piece and I am hearing that may be happening in your relationship.\'a0You can move on from the relationship with your ex while still maintaining a relationship with your child. It is possible and it takes both parents to agree to do the right thing by their child. It is important for your children to have some consistency in his or her time with you. For example, if you and your ex don't have a parenting schedule it is something that you want to create so that you can not only decide for you when you will see your child, but your child can know when you will be available just for her. This will lay the foundation for consistency and allow your child to have some security in troubled times.I would highly recommend you sit down with your ex and discuss how you can both be a positive source in your child's life. How you can both be there to help raise her. If this is not a conversation that you can have on your own you might seek out help from the court. There are parenting experts and mediators who might be able to assist you.Remember, in any discussion keep the focus on what is best for your child and you will be moving in the right direction.Best of luck to you!", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "What are the ways your ex-wife uses your child as a pawn?This answer determines the best ways to handle particular situations.Basically, distinguish that your father relationship to your child lasts has great meaning for your child and as the adult, the responsibility for managing this relationship falls on you.Your relationship to your ex wife took place between two adults and therefore you are only responsible for your own actions to repair the damage done to you.From what you write, you already have a plan in progress to do this by separating yourself as much as possible from contact with the ex.In a way the challenge of keeping active as a parent while also distancing and clearing your emotions of the hurt and betrayal done to you, will establish both a solid relationship with your child and grow more acceptance and self-forgiveness of having been taken advantage of and tricked.", | "If you have a good relationship with your child then you have already accepted and been accepted as this child's parent and you have a commitment and an obligation to play that role. \'a0If you suddenly absent yourself from this child's life then you may be doing real damage. Working out an arrangement with the child's mother for regular visits the child can count on and committed to by both parents will serve the best interest of the child, which I assume is what both parents are truly concerned with. \'a0The visits don't have to be every day, once a week, even once a month, is better than hit and miss with long absences in between. \'a0Best of luck to you, and the fact that you asked the question says volumes about your parenting potential. \'a0Feel free to follow up with me, on line or in person.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "What are the ways your ex-wife uses your child as a pawn?This answer determines the best ways to handle particular situations.Basically, distinguish that your father relationship to your child lasts has great meaning for your child and as the adult, the responsibility for managing this relationship falls on you.Your relationship to your ex wife took place between two adults and therefore you are only responsible for your own actions to repair the damage done to you.From what you write, you already have a plan in progress to do this by separating yourself as much as possible from contact with the ex.In a way the challenge of keeping active as a parent while also distancing and clearing your emotions of the hurt and betrayal done to you, will establish both a solid relationship with your child and grow more acceptance and self-forgiveness of having been taken advantage of and tricked.", | "You're in a difficult situation and on behalf of you and your child, I commend you for trying to find the right thing to do.Short version: your child needs you as much as possible. period. Always. We used to think that children were almost always harmed by divorce, unless there was extreme conflict or violence. More recent data shows that children are not necessarily harmed by divorce if they keep both their parents. In other words, the damaging part is losing half of themselves and losing the value of being connected to everyone who loves them, especially the other parent, in addition to the extra benefit there is from the other parent's perspective, strengths and so on.\'a0The best thing for your child is for you to be available and loving and doing everything possible to allow the child to be whole - a person who incorporates BOTH parents. It's a tragedy for everyone to use a child to achieve adult aims, like getting back at a former spouse. In such a circumstance, your child needs you more than ever. If you and your wife have different rules and so on, your child will learn to adjust and adapt, just as they would if you remained in the household. A child quickly learns that they talk to mom about x,y,z or get away with whatever, but has different rules with dad. He/she will not be too confused in the long run.\'a0Please stay the course in dealing with a difficult ex-wife for you and your child's wellbeing. Best of luck to all.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "I am really glad you reached out. When parents get divorced, they still need to figure out how to have relationship so that they can parent their child. We might divorce our partners, however, we don't divorce our children. If anything our children need to know that we are still a stable force in their lives. Unfortunately, in some relationships children get used as a bargaining piece and I am hearing that may be happening in your relationship.\'a0You can move on from the relationship with your ex while still maintaining a relationship with your child. It is possible and it takes both parents to agree to do the right thing by their child. It is important for your children to have some consistency in his or her time with you. For example, if you and your ex don't have a parenting schedule it is something that you want to create so that you can not only decide for you when you will see your child, but your child can know when you will be available just for her. This will lay the foundation for consistency and allow your child to have some security in troubled times.I would highly recommend you sit down with your ex and discuss how you can both be a positive source in your child's life. How you can both be there to help raise her. If this is not a conversation that you can have on your own you might seek out help from the court. There are parenting experts and mediators who might be able to assist you.Remember, in any discussion keep the focus on what is best for your child and you will be moving in the right direction.Best of luck to you!", | "If you have a good relationship with your child then you have already accepted and been accepted as this child's parent and you have a commitment and an obligation to play that role. \'a0If you suddenly absent yourself from this child's life then you may be doing real damage. Working out an arrangement with the child's mother for regular visits the child can count on and committed to by both parents will serve the best interest of the child, which I assume is what both parents are truly concerned with. \'a0The visits don't have to be every day, once a week, even once a month, is better than hit and miss with long absences in between. \'a0Best of luck to you, and the fact that you asked the question says volumes about your parenting potential. \'a0Feel free to follow up with me, on line or in person.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "I am really glad you reached out. When parents get divorced, they still need to figure out how to have relationship so that they can parent their child. We might divorce our partners, however, we don't divorce our children. If anything our children need to know that we are still a stable force in their lives. Unfortunately, in some relationships children get used as a bargaining piece and I am hearing that may be happening in your relationship.\'a0You can move on from the relationship with your ex while still maintaining a relationship with your child. It is possible and it takes both parents to agree to do the right thing by their child. It is important for your children to have some consistency in his or her time with you. For example, if you and your ex don't have a parenting schedule it is something that you want to create so that you can not only decide for you when you will see your child, but your child can know when you will be available just for her. This will lay the foundation for consistency and allow your child to have some security in troubled times.I would highly recommend you sit down with your ex and discuss how you can both be a positive source in your child's life. How you can both be there to help raise her. If this is not a conversation that you can have on your own you might seek out help from the court. There are parenting experts and mediators who might be able to assist you.Remember, in any discussion keep the focus on what is best for your child and you will be moving in the right direction.Best of luck to you!", | "You're in a difficult situation and on behalf of you and your child, I commend you for trying to find the right thing to do.Short version: your child needs you as much as possible. period. Always. We used to think that children were almost always harmed by divorce, unless there was extreme conflict or violence. More recent data shows that children are not necessarily harmed by divorce if they keep both their parents. In other words, the damaging part is losing half of themselves and losing the value of being connected to everyone who loves them, especially the other parent, in addition to the extra benefit there is from the other parent's perspective, strengths and so on.\'a0The best thing for your child is for you to be available and loving and doing everything possible to allow the child to be whole - a person who incorporates BOTH parents. It's a tragedy for everyone to use a child to achieve adult aims, like getting back at a former spouse. In such a circumstance, your child needs you more than ever. If you and your wife have different rules and so on, your child will learn to adjust and adapt, just as they would if you remained in the household. A child quickly learns that they talk to mom about x,y,z or get away with whatever, but has different rules with dad. He/she will not be too confused in the long run.\'a0Please stay the course in dealing with a difficult ex-wife for you and your child's wellbeing. Best of luck to all.", |
How should I handle the child I had with my ex-wife?"My ex-wife married and used me to have a child. She now uses that child as a pawn. I know my child misses me but I need to move on and not live in the past. How do I do this? Do I see my child as much as possible or very little? Is it more confusing for the child?" | "You're in a difficult situation and on behalf of you and your child, I commend you for trying to find the right thing to do.Short version: your child needs you as much as possible. period. Always. We used to think that children were almost always harmed by divorce, unless there was extreme conflict or violence. More recent data shows that children are not necessarily harmed by divorce if they keep both their parents. In other words, the damaging part is losing half of themselves and losing the value of being connected to everyone who loves them, especially the other parent, in addition to the extra benefit there is from the other parent's perspective, strengths and so on.\'a0The best thing for your child is for you to be available and loving and doing everything possible to allow the child to be whole - a person who incorporates BOTH parents. It's a tragedy for everyone to use a child to achieve adult aims, like getting back at a former spouse. In such a circumstance, your child needs you more than ever. If you and your wife have different rules and so on, your child will learn to adjust and adapt, just as they would if you remained in the household. A child quickly learns that they talk to mom about x,y,z or get away with whatever, but has different rules with dad. He/she will not be too confused in the long run.\'a0Please stay the course in dealing with a difficult ex-wife for you and your child's wellbeing. Best of luck to all.", | "If you have a good relationship with your child then you have already accepted and been accepted as this child's parent and you have a commitment and an obligation to play that role. \'a0If you suddenly absent yourself from this child's life then you may be doing real damage. Working out an arrangement with the child's mother for regular visits the child can count on and committed to by both parents will serve the best interest of the child, which I assume is what both parents are truly concerned with. \'a0The visits don't have to be every day, once a week, even once a month, is better than hit and miss with long absences in between. \'a0Best of luck to you, and the fact that you asked the question says volumes about your parenting potential. \'a0Feel free to follow up with me, on line or in person.", |
"I lied to my mom then felt bad and told her the truth""She cried because she lost all trust in me. Now I feel disgusting and like my heart just got stabbed what do I do?" | "Hey! Sounds like the part of you that knows the RIGHT thing to do won here! I am so proud of you for admitting that you lied to your Mom! Sometimes lies come out of our mouths before we can even catch them because we are trying to say what the other person wants to hear. I bet that, as you begin to show her that you are not going to lie any more, she will begin to gain trust in you again! Be open with your feelings with you Mom - she is there to support you, guide you and love you! Give her lots of hugs - and give yourself one too for being so brave! Be Wise!", | "It sounds like you've already learned that just being honest is often the best approach.\'a0What do you think about telling your mom how you're feeling? \'a0She might really appreciate it if you also let her know that regaining her trust is really important to you.", |
I don't know how to communicate with my adult daughter"There is just no communication at all between us. She sleeps constantly all day (not at night). She acts angry and unfocused and stays in her very messy room all the time. The only time she comes out is to eat. She has aches and fatigue weight gain hair loss and skin problems. She does not look after her health.\
I don't know how to communicate with her. She is not open to any suggestions. How do I get through to her?" | "Hello,\'a0I know that your situation is frustrating and debilitating.\'a0 It sounds like she either has a medical or mental condition.\'a0 She needs help, and for the sounds of it, you want to help her.\'a0 I suggest that you take the time to contemplate the best way and time to approach her.\'a0 Rehearse ahead of time what you want her to hear and what the end goal is.\'a0 I know it might seem like a lot of work for you to do and perhaps you even feel frustrated about that, but the only way you will reach her is if you approach it in a way she hears your concern and desire to help her.\'a0 Be prepared with facts and places to go for help.\'a0 The better prepared you are, the better the chances of her to act on it.\'a0 Remind her how much you love her and how it is not healthy for her or for the relationship for this to continue.\'a0 With lots of love and patience, you can make a difference.\'a0 Stay Strong!Best of luck to you and your daughter, Mirella~", | "I'm sorry for what sounds like a frustrating situation.For how long has your daughter lived the way you describe and did it start all of a sudden or more gradually come on?What you write sounds like a major depressive disorder and this can start for a variety of reasons and improve in just as many different ways.Start with how you are feeling about the situation. \'a0Ask yourself for how long you will be able to tolerate the way your daughter lives and if you feel any satisfaction in your mother daughter relationship.If she is of legal age, and you don't want her to live with you, \'a0you've tried convincing her to get medical care for its own sake and to more clearly see her emotional and psychological health, and she is unwilling to take care of herself, you can discuss your options with the adult protective services agency in your state.The first step is to know what exactly is her problem so you can decide if its own you are willing to take care of or not.", |
I don't know how to communicate with my adult daughter"There is just no communication at all between us. She sleeps constantly all day (not at night). She acts angry and unfocused and stays in her very messy room all the time. The only time she comes out is to eat. She has aches and fatigue weight gain hair loss and skin problems. She does not look after her health.\
I don't know how to communicate with her. She is not open to any suggestions. How do I get through to her?" | "Hello,\'a0I know that your situation is frustrating and debilitating.\'a0 It sounds like she either has a medical or mental condition.\'a0 She needs help, and for the sounds of it, you want to help her.\'a0 I suggest that you take the time to contemplate the best way and time to approach her.\'a0 Rehearse ahead of time what you want her to hear and what the end goal is.\'a0 I know it might seem like a lot of work for you to do and perhaps you even feel frustrated about that, but the only way you will reach her is if you approach it in a way she hears your concern and desire to help her.\'a0 Be prepared with facts and places to go for help.\'a0 The better prepared you are, the better the chances of her to act on it.\'a0 Remind her how much you love her and how it is not healthy for her or for the relationship for this to continue.\'a0 With lots of love and patience, you can make a difference.\'a0 Stay Strong!Best of luck to you and your daughter, Mirella~", | "1. She's an adult.2. She lives in your house? She follows your rules.3. What you're describing could be any number of things, but could potentially be a medical issue that needs attention. Thyroid issues, autoimmune diseases - there's a ton of medical possibilities for her symptoms. I'm not a doctor; this is a forum of therapists.4. I recommend the book ""Codependent No More"" which may help you navigate your rocky relationship with your adult daughter. You may be inadvertently making things worse by ""helping"" her which can instead enable her to continue her behaviors. Another book you may find helpful is ""Boundaries: Where you end and I begin"". You cannot control another person, especially an adult. The only person you can control is yourself. Tough love is sometimes needed, and she is an adult - treat her like one. Maybe then she'll act like one. If we were having this conversation in person, you would interrupt me at this point with a ""but..."" and then explain all the reasons why you can't tell her to move out, get a job, get up and cook or clean the house, etc. I already know that you have a myriad of excuses for things being the way they are. Yes, I said excuses instead of reasons, because that's what they are. You may feel stuck and like you have to take care of her, but you have choices - you just may not like them. I know that when children are small, parents' lives are focused around them (some more than others) and decisions are made around what is best for your child. But you said your daughter is an adult. The relationship dynamics must change if the relationship is to be a healthy one. I know how difficult it is to watch your child make life choices that you wouldn't want for them, no matter what that choice may be. As a parent, we want to force them to do what we think is ""the right thing"" but trying to do that only results in frustrations for everyone involved. Whether the issue is a hair color, a tattoo, a lifestyle choice, a job, or choosing not to work or take care of their health, or doing drugs, or drinking - the choice is theirs and theirs alone and so are the consequences of those choices.", |
I don't know how to communicate with my adult daughter"There is just no communication at all between us. She sleeps constantly all day (not at night). She acts angry and unfocused and stays in her very messy room all the time. The only time she comes out is to eat. She has aches and fatigue weight gain hair loss and skin problems. She does not look after her health.\
I don't know how to communicate with her. She is not open to any suggestions. How do I get through to her?" | "I'm sorry for what sounds like a frustrating situation.For how long has your daughter lived the way you describe and did it start all of a sudden or more gradually come on?What you write sounds like a major depressive disorder and this can start for a variety of reasons and improve in just as many different ways.Start with how you are feeling about the situation. \'a0Ask yourself for how long you will be able to tolerate the way your daughter lives and if you feel any satisfaction in your mother daughter relationship.If she is of legal age, and you don't want her to live with you, \'a0you've tried convincing her to get medical care for its own sake and to more clearly see her emotional and psychological health, and she is unwilling to take care of herself, you can discuss your options with the adult protective services agency in your state.The first step is to know what exactly is her problem so you can decide if its own you are willing to take care of or not.", | "1. She's an adult.2. She lives in your house? She follows your rules.3. What you're describing could be any number of things, but could potentially be a medical issue that needs attention. Thyroid issues, autoimmune diseases - there's a ton of medical possibilities for her symptoms. I'm not a doctor; this is a forum of therapists.4. I recommend the book ""Codependent No More"" which may help you navigate your rocky relationship with your adult daughter. You may be inadvertently making things worse by ""helping"" her which can instead enable her to continue her behaviors. Another book you may find helpful is ""Boundaries: Where you end and I begin"". You cannot control another person, especially an adult. The only person you can control is yourself. Tough love is sometimes needed, and she is an adult - treat her like one. Maybe then she'll act like one. If we were having this conversation in person, you would interrupt me at this point with a ""but..."" and then explain all the reasons why you can't tell her to move out, get a job, get up and cook or clean the house, etc. I already know that you have a myriad of excuses for things being the way they are. Yes, I said excuses instead of reasons, because that's what they are. You may feel stuck and like you have to take care of her, but you have choices - you just may not like them. I know that when children are small, parents' lives are focused around them (some more than others) and decisions are made around what is best for your child. But you said your daughter is an adult. The relationship dynamics must change if the relationship is to be a healthy one. I know how difficult it is to watch your child make life choices that you wouldn't want for them, no matter what that choice may be. As a parent, we want to force them to do what we think is ""the right thing"" but trying to do that only results in frustrations for everyone involved. Whether the issue is a hair color, a tattoo, a lifestyle choice, a job, or choosing not to work or take care of their health, or doing drugs, or drinking - the choice is theirs and theirs alone and so are the consequences of those choices.", |
Is it normal to dislike one child?I have three children. The oldest is nine and not my biological child. The middle child is three and the youngest is one. I have a great relationship with the oldest two children but I haven't developed the same level of attatchment to the youngest child. I rarely want her around and look forward to her nap times. Is this normal? | "Congrats on being honest about the way you feel!Many people state having a favorite child so the reverse would also be possible, of having a least favorite child.Try to understand your own reasons for not liking your youngest child as much as the others.One point to consider is whether it is the child' personality or the way they interact with you which gives you the feeling of not liking this child as much as the others, or does the reason have more to do with younger children requiring more care?Also, do you generally prefer older kids to younger ones? \'a0\'a0It is possible the problem will go away as your youngest grows older.Is there another parent in the household who can make up for what you feel unable to naturally give to your youngest?Is it possible you feel your own need to be involved with activities or to have time on your own? \'a0 Maybe you simply need a break from constant mothering.Continue to give as much as possible to your youngest child.", | "This is a common response parents can have.\'a0 There are many reasons for attachment disruption.\'a0 \'a0But attachment is\'a0 important for the child as well as your long term relationship with them.\'a0 \'a0 I would want to know more about the history of the child and any stressors you have gone through during the child's lifetime.\'a0 Often if there is stress parents will not have the time or energy to attach well to the child.\'a0 Sometimes the energy of the child and the parent are mismatched as well.\'a0 But whatever is at the core this is something that can be addressed in counseling.\'a0 The earlier the better because adult relationships are based on parental relationships we had as children.\'a0 Therapy can start at age 3 to address these types of issues.\'a0 Visit staceybshapiro.com for more information about getting started.", |
How do I kick my stepdaughter out of our house because she isn't honoring boundaries set for her?"She's in her early s and she has a toddler." | "It may be helpful to first have a discussion about what you are expecting and put a timeframe on it that if she is not doing certain things by a certain date, she will have to leave. If you don't know where she can go, there is probably a list of shelters for the county that you live in.", | "This is something you will have to discuss with your husband. \'a0It should be a joint decision if you value your marriage. \'a0You can mention your frustration about your stepdaughter not honoring boundaries. \'a0After you talk to your husband you both can have a talk with your stepdaughter about expectations in order to stay living in the house. \'a0When it comes to stepchildren you need to be very careful you do not take the lead on the authority part. \'a0It should be the biological parent.", |
Is screaming and cussing at your child considered emotional abuse?"My dad is always and I mean always cussing and screaming at me for no reason at all. He makes me feel stupid. He also compares me to my other siblings in a negative way and demeans me. Is this abuse?" | "Yes, this emotional abuse. \'a0There is no abuse without emotional abuse. \'a0His abuse is demeaning and can have lasting negative impact on your perspective of your self and people around you. \'a0Please find someone support to talk to.", | "I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through this.It's a little difficult to answer your question because the laws that define child abuse are different from state to state. But usually, things like what you describe your dad is doing are not considered to be child abuse.The more important thing is how you feel about what is going on. It sounds like this is really bothering you.If you don't think you can talk to your dad about how you feel, you might want to try talking to another adult you trust (like a family member or teacher). They may be able to help you figure out some ways to communicate with your dad.I think you might feel better if you can talk to someone about how your are feeling.", |
Is screaming and cussing at your child considered emotional abuse?"My dad is always and I mean always cussing and screaming at me for no reason at all. He makes me feel stupid. He also compares me to my other siblings in a negative way and demeans me. Is this abuse?" | "Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Having said that, everyone gets upset once in awhile and may yell or scream, which can be disrespectful. You said ""always, and I mean always"" and that is troubling. If your dad curses and screams at you on a regular and consistent basis, it can (as you stated) impact the way you feel about yourself.\'a0While the definitions of child abuse differ from state to state, talking to someone can help. Perhaps there is a counselor at school, or another trustworthy person you could confide in to help you understand how this situation is impacting you? Counseling is a good option.\'a0There is also help available through the national hotline at\'a01-800-422-4453, 24 hours a day, 7 days a\'a0week. You can call (press 1) and talk to a counselor while being anonymous. You can also check out this website:\'a0 | "I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through this.It's a little difficult to answer your question because the laws that define child abuse are different from state to state. But usually, things like what you describe your dad is doing are not considered to be child abuse.The more important thing is how you feel about what is going on. It sounds like this is really bothering you.If you don't think you can talk to your dad about how you feel, you might want to try talking to another adult you trust (like a family member or teacher). They may be able to help you figure out some ways to communicate with your dad.I think you might feel better if you can talk to someone about how your are feeling.", |
Is screaming and cussing at your child considered emotional abuse?"My dad is always and I mean always cussing and screaming at me for no reason at all. He makes me feel stupid. He also compares me to my other siblings in a negative way and demeans me. Is this abuse?" | "I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through this.It's a little difficult to answer your question because the laws that define child abuse are different from state to state. But usually, things like what you describe your dad is doing are not considered to be child abuse.The more important thing is how you feel about what is going on. It sounds like this is really bothering you.If you don't think you can talk to your dad about how you feel, you might want to try talking to another adult you trust (like a family member or teacher). They may be able to help you figure out some ways to communicate with your dad.I think you might feel better if you can talk to someone about how your are feeling.", | "Yes, screaming and cussing at your child is considered abuse.Here are two points I suggest you consider for your situation.If your dad is ever calm when you and him are with one another, \'a0ask for some time to talk about your relationship with him.Schedule it for sometime in the near future from your request. \'a0 This way he has time to consider his points of view on his relationship to you. \'a0Even if he does no thinking about your relationship at all, he will not feel pressured by the surprise of suddenly being expected to talk about a topic he may prefer to prepare himself.My second point to you is to keep steady in your own views of who you are. \'a0When a parent demeans and mistreats a child, the child is affected in a negative way. \'a0Concentrate on loving yourself and keeping people in your friendship circle who care about you.", |
Is screaming and cussing at your child considered emotional abuse?"My dad is always and I mean always cussing and screaming at me for no reason at all. He makes me feel stupid. He also compares me to my other siblings in a negative way and demeans me. Is this abuse?" | "Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Having said that, everyone gets upset once in awhile and may yell or scream, which can be disrespectful. You said ""always, and I mean always"" and that is troubling. If your dad curses and screams at you on a regular and consistent basis, it can (as you stated) impact the way you feel about yourself.\'a0While the definitions of child abuse differ from state to state, talking to someone can help. Perhaps there is a counselor at school, or another trustworthy person you could confide in to help you understand how this situation is impacting you? Counseling is a good option.\'a0There is also help available through the national hotline at\'a01-800-422-4453, 24 hours a day, 7 days a\'a0week. You can call (press 1) and talk to a counselor while being anonymous. You can also check out this website:\'a0 | "Yes, this emotional abuse. \'a0There is no abuse without emotional abuse. \'a0His abuse is demeaning and can have lasting negative impact on your perspective of your self and people around you. \'a0Please find someone support to talk to.", |
Is screaming and cussing at your child considered emotional abuse?"My dad is always and I mean always cussing and screaming at me for no reason at all. He makes me feel stupid. He also compares me to my other siblings in a negative way and demeans me. Is this abuse?" | "Yes, this emotional abuse. \'a0There is no abuse without emotional abuse. \'a0His abuse is demeaning and can have lasting negative impact on your perspective of your self and people around you. \'a0Please find someone support to talk to.", | "Yes, screaming and cussing at your child is considered abuse.Here are two points I suggest you consider for your situation.If your dad is ever calm when you and him are with one another, \'a0ask for some time to talk about your relationship with him.Schedule it for sometime in the near future from your request. \'a0 This way he has time to consider his points of view on his relationship to you. \'a0Even if he does no thinking about your relationship at all, he will not feel pressured by the surprise of suddenly being expected to talk about a topic he may prefer to prepare himself.My second point to you is to keep steady in your own views of who you are. \'a0When a parent demeans and mistreats a child, the child is affected in a negative way. \'a0Concentrate on loving yourself and keeping people in your friendship circle who care about you.", |
Is screaming and cussing at your child considered emotional abuse?"My dad is always and I mean always cussing and screaming at me for no reason at all. He makes me feel stupid. He also compares me to my other siblings in a negative way and demeans me. Is this abuse?" | "Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Having said that, everyone gets upset once in awhile and may yell or scream, which can be disrespectful. You said ""always, and I mean always"" and that is troubling. If your dad curses and screams at you on a regular and consistent basis, it can (as you stated) impact the way you feel about yourself.\'a0While the definitions of child abuse differ from state to state, talking to someone can help. Perhaps there is a counselor at school, or another trustworthy person you could confide in to help you understand how this situation is impacting you? Counseling is a good option.\'a0There is also help available through the national hotline at\'a01-800-422-4453, 24 hours a day, 7 days a\'a0week. You can call (press 1) and talk to a counselor while being anonymous. You can also check out this website:\'a0 | "Yes, screaming and cussing at your child is considered abuse.Here are two points I suggest you consider for your situation.If your dad is ever calm when you and him are with one another, \'a0ask for some time to talk about your relationship with him.Schedule it for sometime in the near future from your request. \'a0 This way he has time to consider his points of view on his relationship to you. \'a0Even if he does no thinking about your relationship at all, he will not feel pressured by the surprise of suddenly being expected to talk about a topic he may prefer to prepare himself.My second point to you is to keep steady in your own views of who you are. \'a0When a parent demeans and mistreats a child, the child is affected in a negative way. \'a0Concentrate on loving yourself and keeping people in your friendship circle who care about you.", |
My mother is trying to control my life and I don't know what to do"I am in my early s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\
My mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?" | "Unfortunately you seem to have yourself in a double bind. By living with your mom she is not going to stop her attempts at what you perceive as ""controlling"". There is no use in trying to debate or get her to ""see your point"". As long as your there and you personalize her attempts at control, then you will find yourself frustrated and resentful. Try to find an extra job or a roommate so that you can do the natural process of moving on out.www.lifecounselingorlando.com", | "Hello. Even though legally you are an adult, it is a matter of courtesy to respect the homes of your parents. As long as you live there, you should be considerate of their needs. At the same time, there should be conversation about what each of you considers appropriate as it pertains to communication between a parent and an adult (even though you are still her offspring). This will require openness, honesty, and a willingness to give from both sides in a respectful way. Healthy boundaries can be established and honored when each is willing to do their part in this new relationship. Your mother knows you are an adult, but has not had as many years of treating you like one. So mentally and emotionally this will take some time for her to adapt. Share your concerns with her, and see if you can come up with a set of rules that you both can honor. It will be a great stepping stone for both of you as you move into this new chapter together as you begin relating a little differently.Reach out for help to a counselor if needed. You don't have to sort this out on your own. And lastly, take good care of yourself in the process. You are moving through some exciting times in your life. The more you can have support as you explore new events, the better you might feel less stressed.Warm regards.", |
My mother is trying to control my life and I don't know what to do"I am in my early s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\
My mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?" | "Unfortunately I think most of us have heard this, so you are not alone. \'a0If you are still under her roof she has leverage as to what her expectations are while you are living there. \'a0I would consider therapy for the both of you to see if there could be a middle ground that could be agreed upon. \'a0Often times a 3rd party can help with conflict. \'a0If there is no resolution then I would look to get creative in finding a place of your own.", | "Hello. Even though legally you are an adult, it is a matter of courtesy to respect the homes of your parents. As long as you live there, you should be considerate of their needs. At the same time, there should be conversation about what each of you considers appropriate as it pertains to communication between a parent and an adult (even though you are still her offspring). This will require openness, honesty, and a willingness to give from both sides in a respectful way. Healthy boundaries can be established and honored when each is willing to do their part in this new relationship. Your mother knows you are an adult, but has not had as many years of treating you like one. So mentally and emotionally this will take some time for her to adapt. Share your concerns with her, and see if you can come up with a set of rules that you both can honor. It will be a great stepping stone for both of you as you move into this new chapter together as you begin relating a little differently.Reach out for help to a counselor if needed. You don't have to sort this out on your own. And lastly, take good care of yourself in the process. You are moving through some exciting times in your life. The more you can have support as you explore new events, the better you might feel less stressed.Warm regards.", |
My mother is trying to control my life and I don't know what to do"I am in my early s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\
My mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?" | "Hello. Even though legally you are an adult, it is a matter of courtesy to respect the homes of your parents. As long as you live there, you should be considerate of their needs. At the same time, there should be conversation about what each of you considers appropriate as it pertains to communication between a parent and an adult (even though you are still her offspring). This will require openness, honesty, and a willingness to give from both sides in a respectful way. Healthy boundaries can be established and honored when each is willing to do their part in this new relationship. Your mother knows you are an adult, but has not had as many years of treating you like one. So mentally and emotionally this will take some time for her to adapt. Share your concerns with her, and see if you can come up with a set of rules that you both can honor. It will be a great stepping stone for both of you as you move into this new chapter together as you begin relating a little differently.Reach out for help to a counselor if needed. You don't have to sort this out on your own. And lastly, take good care of yourself in the process. You are moving through some exciting times in your life. The more you can have support as you explore new events, the better you might feel less stressed.Warm regards.", | "Hello. It sounds like you and your parents are not balanced in your communication and awareness\'a0of\'a0expectations. Your growth is not only reflected in your ability to understand and apply new knowledge and skills, it is also reflective of your parents acceptance of your understanding and application. Have you tried talking with your parents to let them know your concerns?This talking is best when face to face and during non active conflict ( can't begin stating rules during an argument, etc). Sometimes it is even helpful to write down ways you feel you can be supported by them\'a0and supportive to them. Maybe share this list or reflective piece with\'a0them to review, or use when communicating the expectations. Unfortunately, until there are clear expectations stated and expressed, the scale will be uneven and frustrations will increase. Dr. T", |
My mother is trying to control my life and I don't know what to do"I am in my early s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.\
My mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do?" | "Hello. Even though legally you are an adult, it is a matter of courtesy to respect the homes of your parents. As long as you live there, you should be considerate of their needs. At the same time, there should be conversation about what each of you considers appropriate as it pertains to communication between a parent and an adult (even though you are still her offspring). This will require openness, honesty, and a willingness to give from both sides in a respectful way. Healthy boundaries can be established and honored when each is willing to do their part in this new relationship. Your mother knows you are an adult, but has not had as many years of treating you like one. So mentally and emotionally this will take some time for her to adapt. Share your concerns with her, and see if you can come up with a set of rules that you both can honor. It will be a great stepping stone for both of you as you move into this new chapter together as you begin relating a little differently.Reach out for help to a counselor if needed. You don't have to sort this out on your own. And lastly, take good care of yourself in the process. You are moving through some exciting times in your life. The more you can have support as you explore new events, the better you might feel less stressed.Warm regards.", | "That is a really tough situation that a lot of young people are experiencing right now. The first thing to under is that you can\'92t change who your parents are and cannot change their behavior. The thing to keep in mind is that you can control your responses and actions. \'a0You may need to keep living at home with them for the next few months or years and the best way to do this is to have a plan. The second thing is to keep in mind that their controlling behavior is most likely not about based your behavior. Controlling parents are often driven by their concept of what will keep their children safe and happy. Unfortunately this is not always accurate but keep in mind it is not a personal attack. \'a0There are ways you can deal with controlling parents \'96 and most of them require creating a plan of action.Examples of action plans:Decide in advance how you\'92ll calmly and rationally respond to your parents when you feel they\'92re trying to control youArrange to phone a friend or trusted adult when you feel like you\'92re losing controlTalk in person to an adult you trust. There aren\'92t any quick tips on how to deal with parents who want to control you; you need to find strategies that are geared to your specific family situation. Get specific coping tips from books about family dynamics, such as:Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan ForwardCutting Loose: An Adult's Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents by Howard HalpernA counselor can be a good resource and provide support and guidance about issues addressing normal growth and development during periods of transition.", |
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