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**Adam Stacoviak:** You've gotta find ways to understand and be aware. I think awareness is really a key aspect when it comes to any of these goal settings. If you're not aware of who you are and what you're trying to do, then how can you truly set and deliver on your goals? |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah. It's interesting, when my husband and I were first married, we would go on what we'd call these eight-mile walks, that just happened to be this loop where we lived... But we would run part of it, and walk part of it. And that was really where we had a ton of conversations around wher... |
So when you're talking about even being distracted, in the moment, we work really hard at looking at each other. So our kids even correct us now. They're like "Mom, you're not looking at me. Look me in the face, I need your face." |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Like when you're talking, or...? What's the example? |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah. I mean, it could be anything. Because I do some work at home as well, so I'll need to do that... So they'll interrupt, or I'm trying to help them with homework at the same time, or they're trying to tell me a story and I'm like "Yeah, yeah." They know when I answer "Yeah, yeah" I'm n... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right... Oh, my gosh. The telltale signs of distraction. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** And so they're like "Mom, can I have your face?" They'll literally ask me, like "I just need your face", because they know that they have my attention then, and I'm actually listening to what they say. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. That's really interesting to think about that. Eye connection is one of those -- I don't know the science behind it, so back me up here, but whenever you look somebody in the eye, there's a human-to-human, one-to-one, peer-to-peer, clear, distinct connection that can't be disregarded. If you ... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[31:57\] Well, and I would even make it a little broader, in just looking at a face in terms of facial expression... Because there's so much more data as it relates to how you say things, the way in which your face contorts. Because emotions, generally speaking, are universal in terms of ... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** I mean, I can interact -- it's funny now, working in psychology, because people will tell me that they "talk to" somebody, and I always clarify, and say "You mean, you actually had a conversation face-to-face, you texted them, or was it online?" Because that is relevant. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. We're a little off base on goal-setting; I think it may tie back to some degree, but... I like the aspect of this missing data in a conversational context. If you don't see somebody's face and you only see their text message - it could be a commit message, it could be a response or a comment o... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right, yeah. This can sort of keep going back to the goals - there is also a huge component of social factors when it comes to goal-setting. We are more apt - just like I talked about in habit formation - to cultivate habits and to do things embedded in other social relationships. So you c... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. That's part of the goal-setting, to get the right kind of tribe around you. Or enable your tribe that is around you to support you in your goals. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Yeah. And it was interesting, the American Society of Training and Development - they did a study on accountability and found that you have a 65% more chance of completing a goal if you commit to someone. And that if you have a specific accountability appointment with a person who you've c... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Wow. I mean, who wouldn't wanna do that then, with those kinds of stats? |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** Right? We're gonna do this live, for Brain Science. Are you ready? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Okay, let's do it. I'm scared... What is it? |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[laughs\] Well, integrity is really important to me, so I always say I don't ask people to do what I'm not willing to do myself... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** So we have had conversations - Adam and I have had conversations around our goal for Brain Science... And that our goal for 2020 is to get this to a weekly podcast. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[36:06\] So you guys can comment, tell us ideas, topics you want to have us talk about, because we want to share with you and give you guys more of what you're looking for. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** What do you think? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** I like that. I think involving the community is really important, because what point would it make for us to have these conversations and to develop this show if it didn't actually solve the problems or answer the questions that the community around us forms? So that's really a key aspect. |
We kind of have charted our own course, with our own desires at first, but I think now is a great time to start bringing in more members of the community to give their feedback, as hey, that's important when you set goals. And one easy way to do that is to either reach out to us on Twitter; that's one easy way. We're @... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** And I think it'd be really helpful if you guys could even share where you are getting stuck. Whenever we're talking goal-setting, it's helpful when we can identify the obstacle to these. What things make it less likely for me to do this? I can look back and say when I was trying to get fit... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** So you took them with you. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** I did! And there was one occasion on which I actually took a nap in the parking lot... Because I was like "If I go home, I'm not coming back." And I really was trying hard to follow through on my commitment... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** That is commitment... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[laughs\] Yeah... But this is part of that sense of discipline, and telling other people about it helps us to navigate it differently. If you guys say "Hey, Mireille, here's where I'm getting stuck in my job" or like "I go to work on Monday and I'm working on this task, and by two o'clock... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** That's the important part, not being alone. Having a tribe around you -- we just talked about the interpersonal natures of goal-setting, but also the social component, the accountability necessary to understand where you're getting stuck, to understand what's holding you back, to understand things t... |
So when you're thinking like "What can I give Mireille and Adam feedback on to develop this show in ways that impact me?" Well, where are you stuck? What's holding you back? What makes you unique as a human? What kind of unique circumstances are you in? Those are the kind of questions you can ask yourself when you do -... |
But I think it's really important why we did this show though, Mireille. I know we talked about the decade turning, but it's uniquely positioned, because this is the time of the year when people think "I have got to do all the things...", because there's such a social pressure from everyone else. There's lists that com... |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** \[40:22\] With that, I wanna wrap up this discussion as it relates to really the obstacles as we go to do that. I believe it was a Greek philosopher who might have been the first to hypothesize that there's fundamental human motives related to having reward. Our brain is always looking for... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Oh, boy... Yeah. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** And that neuroscience has sort of caught up with this, and there's some really interesting research out of the University of Oregon, their Social & Affective Lab... And that really is this sense of social relationships and emotion. And they talk about the way in which will and way are rele... |
So if I'm more specific, the will refers to the motivational and emotional processes that drive goal-pursuit and motives, and then the way refers to more of the suite of cognitive capacities and abilities, like inhibitory control. In my example of taking a nap in the parking lot I had to inhibit this other way that I w... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. |
**Mireille B. Reece, Psy.D:** So all of those process -- the itty-bitty things, and how do I fall in love with the process, so that I can perform in the way that I want to perform, so that I can reach the outcome I desire to create. |
• The power of storytelling and its ability to evoke emotions and empathy |
• Using stories to understand others' perspectives and behaviors |
• The importance of context and back-story in navigating relationships and interactions |
• How assumptions and projections can lead to miscommunication and conflict |
• The value of using "How do you mean?" as a simple and effective way to clarify misunderstandings and promote deeper understanding |
• The importance of using "How do you mean?" to encourage curiosity and discovery rather than judgment |
• The benefits of storytelling in conveying meaning, improving memory, and evoking emotions |
• How stories create anchor points in the brain and improve learning by making data meaningful |
• The use of analogies, metaphors, and mini-stories in therapy to help people understand abstract concepts |
• The relationship between emotion, memory, and learning, with stories being more memorable due to their emotional connection |
• The concept of autobiographical memory and how it changes over time as the individual's perspective and concerns evolve |
• The power of storytelling to shape our perception of ourselves and the world around us |
• The universal nature of stories, transcending language barriers |
• The default mode network in the brain, which processes narratives and influences memory and relationships |
• The importance of attitude and emotions in shaping behavior and interactions with others |
• How stories can change attitudes and lead to a more empathetic understanding of oneself and others |
• Defining demeanor and its relation to mental state, attitude, and positioning |
• Understanding biases and their impact on intergroup attitudes and social identity |
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