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I am getting married next month. I WAS very excited, but then the pandmeic happened, and everything has been chaotic. I've never been married before, so there is still some excitement there, however, there have been minor spoilers all along the way. Back to the story! Our wedding is just around the corner, so I've ... | NAH. I’m going to go against the crowd here. I don’t think you asking this makes you an asshole. I can see your side on how you want a certain aesthetic for photos and a more natural look. Also, this friend hasn’t always been into alternative hairstyles, so you weren’t expecting this. If she was, maybe you wouldn’t ha... |
I (27M) proposed to my fiancé (28F) 6 months ago. It was atop of a mountain in a picturesque scene and was totally unsuspected. I used my great grandmother’s platinum 1923 engagement ring with a 0.5 carat diamond and six ornamental 0.1 carat diamonds. It’s been in my family for 97 years and I was in possession of it fo... | NAH. I would suggest you propose putting that ring in a safety deposit box or somewhere safe, and then save for a ring she finds more her style. I wouldn't modify it. I hate to say it, but marriages aren't what they were in 1923, and if it falls apart, I would hate for your heirloom to have been destroyed. She is the ... |
My daughter (30F) currently lives with me (54F) just for the lockdown period so that we weren't isolated entirely alone. She announced to me a few days ago that she's been dating a woman online and plans to meet up with her and keep dating after lockdown is done. To be honest, I'd suspected that she was seeing someone ... | NAH. I would have a conversation with her about it. It probably took her a lot of courage to come out. You responded just fine, but maybe your tone indicated something else? Maybe she just wants reassurance that you truly don’t care & it’s the same as if she told you she was dating a man. ###### |
I'm 15 male and my sister(21F) and I(15M) decided to die my hair bleach blond today. My siblings hairs are blond because they are blood related to my parents and my dad has diry blond hair and my mom has just straight up blond hair but I'm Korean they adopted me from Korea when I was 5. I have recently been feeling a d... | NAH. I was adopted and, although I am the same race as my parents, I don’t look like them (they both have dark eyes and hair while I’m very fair)
When I was younger I dyed my hair a darker shade for the same reasons, I had heard “why don’t you look like your parents?” So many times I could scream! My parents (especial... |
So i went to a gynocologist for a pelvic exam and she asked if i had any anal sex and I told her that my boyfriend and I do it regularly. She told me that I need to stop because it’s not designed for that purpose and it can cause tearing. I told her that we know what we are doing and use lots of lube and don’t have any... | NAH. I want to echo everyone who said that if your gynecologist could tell you'd been having anal sex, then there was already damage. That tissue regenerates pretty easily, so for her to notice, you had to have been doing it a lot and/or unsafely.
You have a right to feel defensive, but part of the doctor's job is t... |
Last week my wife and I went through the drive through at the local coffee shop.
When we got to the window, the guy at the window said that the car in front of us paid for our coffee!
I was pleasantly surprised and my wife made a comment about us paying for the car behind us to keep the chain going.... Although ther... | NAH. I used to work at a drive through coffee place when I was in university and I genuinely hated when people started that pay for the person behind you chain.
It makes people confused and then guilty more than happy. I also felt bad when a person later in the chain was just getting a coffee and they felt compelle... |
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and we live together. He told me he made 90k, which is around what I make. We split most stuff evenly. Yesterday he said he had something to tell me and said that he actually makes 150k, and also has millions in inheritance.
Now that doesn’t in it of itself change how... | NAH. I understand why you're upset - being lied to by someone you love, even if it's for a good reason, feels bad.
But his actions make total sense. When you first met, YOU knew you were trustworthy - but he didn't. I'm sure you can understand why he chose to keep the fact he is very wealthy a secret from you in the... |
So the wife and I have four rowdy boys and are pregnant with a little girl. Due to current events my wife was let go from her job. Now normally this wouldn't be an issue as we could've lived off my income alone. However, our little princess made that not possible. So in addition to my business, I've picked up some free... | NAH. I understand it's such a shitty situation. Your working a lot so you need your sleep, but you also have to be a decent partner to your wife and a decent parent to your kids. Anyone would find being a 'stay at home' parent to 4 kids exhausting as well. So you're both doing some hard grafting right now. She's also ... |
My wife has wanted a vegetable garden in our backyard. Now that it's starting to warm up I thought I would try to tackle something this weekend. I did some research online, looked up some designs, and tried to show my wife to get her input. She would only give me short answers and told me just to make something nice an... | NAH. I think your timing is off. You have the bandwidth to do it so you leapt in. She does not have the bandwidth to do it. Most "essential workers" I know have no bandwidth whatsoever left over right now. They're exhausted and demoralized.
As someone with a husband who leaps into action once he's finally got the be... |
My daughter (30F) currently lives with me (54F) just for the lockdown period so that we weren't isolated entirely alone. She announced to me a few days ago that she's been dating a woman online and plans to meet up with her and keep dating after lockdown is done. To be honest, I'd suspected that she was seeing someone ... | NAH. I think you responded well! Those are normal things parents should ask their kids about potential partners. But that said, your daughter may feel like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop, even if there is no other shoe. If I were you, I'd just directly let her know that you love her for who she is, and accep... |
So you guys were a massive help with my last post so I figured I'll ask for help again.
So my husband and I have been married for a little over 2 years now, I know it's not that long. We have an adorable 4 month old girl. She obviously requires lots of care and attention. Since she was 2 months old my husband wanted h... | NAH. I think most of the votes will be N T A, but this is precisely the kind of conflict that needs cooperation, not blame.
You're both new parents, you're both exhausted, and it sounds like you made an agreement to get up for the baby during the week while your husband's the sole breadwinner, and he'll get up on wee... |
My (25F) fiancé (26M) and I have been together since our junior year of college. He was always such an insanely hard worker who was very goal oriented. Back then he’d spend pretty much all of his time chasing his career goals.
He was successful in landing his dream job which is a combination of high pay and very high... | NAH. I think it’s obvious his “dream” in life switched from being his at his job to being with you at some point in the last 5 years. ###### |
I'm a 42 year old gay man, married to my wonderful partner of 11 years.
When I was in college, I was a sperm donor. I didn't really think of it much - I was young, healthy, they paid me.
Recently I got a message request from this girl on Facebook. (I guess you can see where this is going). She claims to be one of th... | NAH. I mean, I understand that these kids want to meet their biological father, but I also completely understand that you don't want to meet them. You're a sperm donor (literally), not a dad. I'd say be honest. ###### |
My fiancé proposed to me with an heirloom engagement ring that belonged to his great grandmother and has been passed down from generation to generation. It’s art deco style with a large, multiple carat diamond in the center and many smaller ones surrounding it and in the band. I love the ring’s history and the things i... | NAH. I know someone who lost their heirloom ring, they were absolutely devastated. It's very commendable of you to not see the ring as a status symbol and instead value it so much that you worry about losing it. I also see your husband's point that he thinks wearing the ring is an important gesture to him.
>he said t... |
I (24M) have an 8 month old daughter with my fiancé (24F). Our daughter has been constipated for the last 3 days. After a lot of juice and prunes today she had an explosive bowel movement. I was napping (I work 2 jobs while my fiancé is a STAHM/Student about to graduate) when my fiancé woke me up requesting help. No pr... | NAH. I have a 3 year old and I understand how much poop sucks. Not justifying her freak out but she’s probably stressed. Babies are stressful in general and an incident like that doesn’t make it easier. I remember quite a few times when a poop or puke blowout would make me anxious or cry. ###### |
To be honest I don't know if I would ever have the heart to tell him this. I also wonder if it's even my place.
He has never gotten an A in any class other than electives. I rarely saw him do honework. The one time i did it was extremely surprising He ended high school with a 2.5 gpa. He told me college would be diff... | NAH. I get your brother’s perspective, because I’ve been there. He really wants to be a doctor and has apparently sticked that route through college despite his poor GPA. The poor GPA should have been a hint, though.
From the bit of information you’ve given it seems like he’s really not cut out to be a premed studen... |
Don't be scared by the title, I'll explain. (I'm a bit new to reddit, sorry if I don't do everything like I should !) So, a few hours ago, my mother took a picture of me. Seems harmless right ? I was dressed, in a normal position, nothing wrong with the picture itself I guess. But here's the twisted part : She took it ... | NAH. I get that you don't like pictures, but you really need to dial it back. Your mom snapping a picture for memories and sharing it with family is not a big deal. ###### |
My wife’s best friend died in a tragic accident at 12 years old. She still celebrates her birthday every year and I know she was important to her, of course. I absolutely empathize with that, and I hate seeing my wife still go through that pain of losing a childhood best friend when she was just a child herself. And it... | NAH. I can see both sides, but I reckon when deciding what to name your child both parents ought to have veto powers pretty much regardless of the reason. ###### |
AITA
A quick preface all of this is said with no vocal escalation unless otherwise indicated and my wife does know I have very high functioning aspergers we have been together since 2014 and were married in 2015. Also we both are on good terms with her mom. Her mom is 78.
Okay so tonight my wife tells me her mum has ... | NAH. I believe what she expected was some sort of "OMG that is awfull, how you feeling, what can i do to help you" followed by a hug. She wanted emotional support not for you to try to solve the issue. You just jumped to sensible rational plans when she wanted a shoulder to cry on. You more than likely missed all the ... |
My (17F) sister (21F) had a baby almost 3months ago, she started work only 4 weeks after giving birth, her partner had broken up with her a few days before giving birth so she had to move back in with my parents.
The whole situation has been very difficult for her and she's very sad lately, so all the family has chipp... | NAH. I almost said everyone's the asshole here but I feel bad for everyone in this situation. Obviously you didn't choose to be a live in babysitter, so I understand that you feel like your down time is being intruded on and your parents are being unfair. I also understand your sister being sad and exhausted and needi... |
My fiancee and I are scheduled to get married next month, but for obvious reasons that's all in question right now. My state has started the process of reopening, but everything is still up in the air as to when restrictions will be fully lifted.
Now to the problem. We picked a date that has major personal significan... | NAH. Honestly that plan is solid. Setting up the livestream for people who can be there in person to watch is a great idea. Having the reception once it’s safe to gather again is a perfectly fine idea. Anyone who would be upset with the kind of arrangement you’re considering during this crazy uncertain time is probabl... |
So here's the thing- I've been dating this girl for only a few months. I was going to get her a kayak for her birthday. Word got out that I was going to get her a kayak, so it kind of got ruined. She likes the idea of it though so that's still cool. I'm thinking about just switching it up and getting her something comp... | NAH. Honestly just get her something different. It's only been a few months, what's with the big ticket items anyways? Figure out her love language, fill that to the brim on the day and get her a different gift. A couple months later get yourself the kayak and give her the old one. Bonus points if you paint it differe... |
First and foremost I love this child with my whole heart, just like I do with all my nieces and nephews.
Like most kids, my nephew is stuck at home right now and going to school online, so I imagine he has a lot of extra time on his hands. My fiance and I on the other hand are essential employees and still work outsid... | NAH. He’s just a little kid and wants to talk to you so he’s NTA, but you have work and can’t really deal with it so neither are you. His mom needs to talk to him about it ASAP. I wouldn’t block him but I think Facebook has a thing where you can unfollow or mute people but still be friends? I would look into that thi... |
We are both in our early 20s, together for 2 years and live together
His work schedule is a standard mon-Thursday 8-5. We usually go to bed at very reasonable hours and get good amounts of sleep.
He used to smoke weed in high school/college but stopped when he got a job that required drug testing. He recently got a... | NAH. He's tired and wants to sleep. You miss spending time together. Have you maybe looked at other underlying issues? Depression, for example, can make a person feel excessively fatigued. When I'm in an episode, I can sleep 14 hours straight, wake for an hour or two, and feel so exhausted that all I want to do is sle... |
My [F26] boyfriend [M28] and I have been together for 5 years now and moved in with each other last summer. My parents are divorced as are other family members, and I just don't like the whole idea of feeling trapped in a marriage.
Boyfriend (who I will refer to as Brody) knew how I felt since when we first began dati... | NAH. He's an idiot, but not an asshole.
I'm curious: Did you say "no" immediately, or did you take some time to consider what would happen next? ###### |
We have been dating for a year and he was showing me old photos from years ago, then photos of him and his ex came up. I said he should probably delete those now considering how serious we are, but then he snapped back saying they are memories and when he gets older he wants to have them to reminisce. AITA for wanting ... | NAH. He should probably save them somewhere not on his phone if he wants them years later. He probably shouldn't snap at you for such a silly reason. Personally, I don't permanently delete any pictures. They all go on 2 different hard drives. ###### |
I am battling breast cancer for the second time in my life (no need for sympathy, I’m going to be fine! We caught it early enough that it’s not too life threatening!) My hair started falling out earlier this week, three weeks after starting chemo.
On Thursday night, after our kids (6 and 2) fell asleep, me, my husband... | NAH. He seems to really love you- my partner has Crohn’s disease and I very often rub her belly or touch it. Sometimes it’s tender or she doesn’t want the touch but I have to understand that. If your husband is anything like me, he’s trying to protect you from the disease in his own way. ###### |
My (36M) daughter (17F) was born with tons of medical issues, including physical disabilities, malformations, mental handicaps, and the need for an ever growing list of medications.
It's started to get to the point where the combined incomes of me and my wife cannot manage the expenses with it, as they total to more t... | NAH. Have you looked into any group home facilities meant specifically for people with disabilities like the ones your daughter has? Because they exist. And depending on where you live, they are often covered by Medicare. ###### |
Using my throwaway, as a coworker knows my main.
My fiancée died in an accident a few months ago and I haven’t told my coworkers. I was off that week for unrelated reasons. I panicked and said our friend died and my fiancée’s leg got wrecked when asked why I looked upset. In reality, what happened was the opposite. O... | NAH. Grief stretches itself out in strange shapes.
I understand why you’re worried about this, however. Whether they think poorly of you or not, your coworkers are going to be surprised and concerned about how long this fabrication has been going on. Depending on the size of your company, I would strongly encourage y... |
I graduated before my boyfriend so I've been working for 4 months drawing a decent salary while my boyfriend is finishing up his final semester in uni. We started discussing about our next chapter in life, including marriage and finances plans.
We both plan to pool a fixed amount of our income together into a joint acc... | NAH. Finances are something every couple just has to figure out for their own situation, and there is no “one size fits all” plan that all couples can make work.
There is nothing wrong with you wanting to spend the excess you make, and nothing wrong with him wanting to save his- unless someone starts resenting the ot... |
I (34f) met my husband while I was doing an exchange semester in Australia when I was 20. We later got married and I moved to Australia permanently. We have two kids 6f and 4f and I'm 4 months pregnant.
My husband passed away 3 months ago. It was and still is horrible. With my husband not being here anymore I want to... | NAH. Everyone is grieving right now, and all of you have valid emotions. They lost their son and now they're losing their grandchildren. You lost your husband and now you're alone in a foreign land.
Family therapy is definitely needed here, but I dont think anyone is TA. ###### |
So the other day I had some friends over and my half brother stopped by (by surprise) and brought me a cake because my birthday was a while ago but I don’t really celebrate it. I introduced them and later after they left he complained why I always tell people he’s my half brother (and not brother) and I said that’s be... | NAH. Every half/step sibling dynamic is different dependent upon whether you grew up in the same household, age difference and other factors. The problem is that you and your brother are not seeing eye-to-eye on this dynamic, but nobody's TA for it. If it bothers you to call him your "brother" without further explanat... |
Now, don't get me wrong, if this was a normal pregnancy during a normal time I'd want his in 100% but...
I'm giving birth to triplets in about three to four weeks. It's a very high-risk pregnancy. I plan on having a C-section and getting induced if the baby doesn't come in 3 weeks.
The doctor told us that with all ... | NAH. Even if it was a normal pregnancy, I think that if you don't want someone in the room for a birth they don't get to be in the room. But I also absolutely understand why it's upsetting to him. He's missing the birth of his children and he gets go sit out in the waiting room worrying about all these possible compli... |
Background:
My husband’s (30m) Federal job has taken us first to Oklahoma for several months and now to California. I quit my job and became a stay at home mom to make the transitions easier since childcare is so expensive.
I also lost both my mom (50f) and my brother (17m) within 4 years of each other when I was 17... | NAH. Damn, this is so stressful and sad for everyone involved. I don’t know if it’s even possible, but you both need to work together to come to a solution here. Career and family are typically the two most important things in people’s lives, and this essentially is a tear between both.
I’m so sorry for this and tru... |
Some background. A few days ago (Friday) I discovered a lump in my (f/23) breast and armpit. Since it was the weekend today (Monday) was the first day I could speak to my Doctor about it. Over the weekend, the lumps grew and got more painful, leading me to start to freak out a little.
I phoned my Doctor, who is only s... | NAH. Consult another physician first before concluding the first one made a mistake. If the second physician shares your concerns, you can make a complaint against the first one.
I've had a lump like this in my armpit from shaving, except it wasn't painful. ###### |
I (21) finally told my mom that I'm not straight tonight after dinner with my sister (19) sitting there. Immediately after, my sister says "well, since we're admitting things, neither am I." She has severe anxiety and probably would not have said anything for several more years unless I did it first. But it's just both... | NAH. Coming out isn’t easy, and she has anxiety. I agree in a perfect world, you should have your own moment, but we don’t live in a perfect world. ###### |
Hey guys. I (17M) finished senior year and am picking up my cap and gown tomorrow. My parents want to have a celebration (virtually) and drag out my "accomplishment" of graduating highschool. Here's the thing, I did not have a good high school experience, at all. I was severely depressed freshman and sophomore year, an... | NAH. But you did accomplish something. You’ve been through a lot of shit, including crippling depression and addiction, and you’re still here, and able to put this whole painful chapter behind you and look forward to the future. That in itself is worthy of celebration. If you’re willing to throw your parents a bone, a... |
My wife’s best friend died in a tragic accident at 12 years old. She still celebrates her birthday every year and I know she was important to her, of course. I absolutely empathize with that, and I hate seeing my wife still go through that pain of losing a childhood best friend when she was just a child herself. And it... | NAH. But the name isn’t an omen of bad luck. I was named after my grandma that died before I was born (she had cancer). Obviously people that knew her will realize that’s why I have my name and say something but that’s all. (nothing bad, typically stuff like “oh you look like her too” or “I miss her”). I don’t feel l... |
Reposted to be in compliance with sub rules.
I'm a single father with a 4 year old daughter. Currently, I live with my younger brother and his family, taking care of their son while they work. I no longer work cause I'm a disabled veteran so that's why I watch my nephew.
So moving on, today I had an argument with my... | NAH. But she is four. They had to keep screwdrivers out of reach for my toddlerhood since curiosity plus a tool does not equal intact furniture.
Best to just keep all drawing stuff out of reach of the tiny human and get some mess-free art supplies for her. ###### |
My friend is 5'4 and 230 pounds and lives with a family of enablers. Her family is also all overweight and like to focus on building her up, which is super great, but they do that by just lying to her. They told her there's nothing wrong with the shape she is in, and that being thick is a good thing and guys love it.
... | NAH. But prepare to lose a friend whether you are an asshole or not. Some people can’t take the truth and she sounds like one of those people. She will likely make you out to be the asshole and blame you for all her negative feelings of herself. ###### |
Ok so I have a step child that my SO and I see every other weekend. Every year on Mother's Day my MIL sends flowers or a card and signs the step child's name to the gift.
Now, MIL is a VERY kind and well intentioned person and I honestly do appreciate the gifts. My issue is that stepchild has made it clear that they... | NAH. But I don’t think I’d ask her to stop. I think she is trying to show you her appreciation for the role you play in his life. I’d accept them in the spirit they are offered. ###### |
So, my fiancée and I were watching a light horror movie. It was The Babysitter. I’m a horror fanatic, and she suggested this movie. It’s not the best movie, but I have been trying to get her into horror.
First of all, I’ve never seen the movie before. When we were watching, I just made a comment on how the black guy ... | NAH. Black guy here. Not racist, just the truth. ###### |
Today at dinner my sister (10), parents (48), and I (15) were discussing topics. Since we are from China our parents sent us to a Chinese school every weekend (we live in Denmark). It is usually not as tough as our normal school but it comes with a decent amount of homework. We've been going there for about 4 years and... | NAH. Being bilingual (or more since you speak English, Chinese, and Danish) is an incredible skill that will put you at the top of a lot of application pools and can earn you a lot more money in the future.
But, I understand not wanting to go to school another day out of the week when you’re already a full time stud... |
So i went to a gynocologist for a pelvic exam and she asked if i had any anal sex and I told her that my boyfriend and I do it regularly. She told me that I need to stop because it’s not designed for that purpose and it can cause tearing. I told her that we know what we are doing and use lots of lube and don’t have any... | NAH. Been to the gyno a bunch of times. Never been asked this question. I’m gonna guess she saw some damage. I’m gonna also guess if she saw damage and you claimed that was with lube and you knew what you were doing, she thought “no way that much damage with that much lube is consensual or enjoyable.” Was that they w... |
My sons 3 and 9 years old bathe together almost every night.
My oldest helps him since I’m always busy at night and they generally play around in the tub. The other day was my oldest’s 9th birthday and I told him that he was getting too old to be in the tub with his brother.
I said that they can still hang out during... | NAH. At some point you need to set boundaries for them. Your 9 year old can still help the little one without being naked in the tub at the same time.
OTOH, why are you so unable to take a break from your evening chores that you can't stop and bathe your 3 year old yourself? That's *your* job as his parent, not your ... |
I have always had an admiration for tattoos and piercings but had never got any myself because of work and family being against.
Last year we made the decision that I will become a stay home mum and I am no longer working. This change in lifestyle got me thinking that I no longer need to meet the corporate stereotype ... | NAH. Are you willing to stake your relationship on it if it comes down to it though? And what about when you go back to work? ###### |
So I told the people at work that my birthday was tomorrow and they said they were gonna get a cake, but personally I'm not too into cake and I'm pretty sure my Mum will have already cooked something for it before I go to work anyway. I said this tonight to the two people I know will be there on my birthday and they s... | Nah. Accept it but don’t eat it, or cut it an serve it to them and said you are so full you can’t eat dessert . They probably feel bad coming empty handed besides making you a cake. ###### |
We are already separated. We have a few kids. Great kids. I love being a mom. It's the best feeling in the world. I love hearing them call me "Mom" or "Mommy" and doing things for school my little Rugrats. At the same time, I am tired of always being the one that does all of this. Their father is amazing. Don't misunde... | NAH. Absolutely in no way an asshole thing to do: Ask him to have them for a while. Get a breather. We all need one! It’s always better to get that break rather than get strung out! ###### |
Made a throwaway account because a lot of people who follow my main account know me personally, and this would wreck my life if it became public information.
Also, english is not my first language, so please forgive me if I make any mistakes.
My wife and I have been married for 5 years, together for 11. I love her ... | NAH. A week or two to figure out how to break some bad, non time-sensitive news isn't too much to ask.
On the other hand, she has no proof that your were going to tell her eventually and it's normal for her to be upset.
At any rate, I'm sorry this happened to you. ###### |
My brother (20M) flunked out of college last year and has since been home. My dad was understandably pissed at the wasted money and I am as well. He's diagnosed with asperger's syndrome, dyslexia, and adhd which makes it difficult for him to learn, but throughout college it seems like he didn't even try.
Since he's b... | NAH. A lot of autistic people have difficulty with executive dysfunction and need to be verbally prompted to do something. They'll do it once you've helped them get started, but the getting started is the problem. That's not laziness, it's an actual cognitive issue. Obviously I don't know your brother and autism manif... |
I give my daughter a lot of compliments. Great writer, very funny, selfless, smart, great artist, etc. I'll also tell her she is beautiful every now and then. My daughter is 16.
She had recenly gotten some new clothes shipped to our house. She changed into her new clothes and I told her she looked beautiful. She than... | NAH.
You’re NTA for calling your daughter beautiful (obviously, you know this).
BUT. Do not compliment her only when she gets new clothes and makeup. I think this is what your wife is saying. She’s not mad that you’re complimenting her, it’s just WHEN you’re complimenting her. Your wife doesn’t want your daughter ... |
Due to current events, I appreciate that normal routine doesn’t really exist anymore. However, my children (twins 15m) have been waking up very late (12-1pm) and they’re up until about 3-4am. I know this because I found them playing FIFA when I went to get some water last night.
I’m not happy with this, as in my view... | NAH.
They are 15, and naturally they want to game all night and sleep all day.
Personally, I think your requirements are absolutely more than reasonable, and it *is* good for them to have a semi-formal routine.
Not to mention it will teach them valuable skills for later on in life. I’m mystified at the amount of g... |
I live in an apartment complex. There is a long sidewalk that leads to my apartment, and my Hindu next door neighbor’s apartment.
Every couple of days there are swastikas drawn on the sidewalk leading to their apartment.
I politely asked my neighbor is she and her husband could put the symbol in front of their door... | NAH.
The symbol predates Hitler and IS used by well over a billion people world wide- it represents good luck and prosperity in Hindu and Buddhist communities. They shouldn’t have to sensor themselves because a white man bastardized the symbol.
Your feelings are also valid, and come from a real place of hurt follo... |
I always had a bit of a weird family, especially my father side. Lots of mental health issues, too.
My dad died almost 3 years ago. It was cancer, so prolonged hospital stays - people had plenty of time to visit him in hospital in the last months of his life.
Obviously, when I knew the end was coming, I contacted hi... | NAH.
People grieve in their own way. I don't necessarily think your relatives are assholes for not visiting your dying father, nor are you an asshole for not reaching out to them. ###### |
Approx 4 years ago I split with my ex. We were engaged and he had a close friend of mine design the ring. My friend knows me well and spent months searching for the perfect stone. It was my dream ring.. too bad it wasn’t my dream guy.
When we split he insisted I keep the ring, and I’ve pretty much had it hidden away ... | NAH.
just make sure you talk to your current SO to see how he feels about it. ###### |
My sister is a single mom, and is also unemployed. She has a 1 month old and just before she gave birth she asked to move in with me because she couldn’t pay her rent anymore and her landlord wasn’t going to let her renew her lease. Now I don’t really like my sister, she’s always gotten preferential treatment by our pa... | NAH.
It's reasonable to want noise minimized when you're working, even from a baby. It's also reasonable for your sister to want to spend time outside of her room or to talk with your mom about the current situation. I don't think any of these wants or behaviors arise to "asshole" status. Your mom berating you when... |
Hi. Throwaway since my siblings are on reddit.
We are four siblings in our 40s. For the last two years, me and my SO have been taking care of my father, after he had a medical incident. We shop for him, clean his house, dishes, clothes, toilet, you name it, we clean it. Including him when he needs that. We get him to ... | NAH.
It's his money, he can do as he wishes with it. That being said, it needs to be his decision and not influenced by you. He is also the one who would need to reach out to the lawyer, without you or your SO's involvement, and change his will.
Not only would this relieve you of any guilt, it would also help repa... |
My husbands grandpa passed away about 9 months ago. He was 97 years old and aside from typical aging, he had a fairly healthy and happy life. My husband was extremely sad when he passed away. He has never had a relative pass away in his life, so this is really his first time grieving and going through this process.
I... | NAH.
INFO. I thought long and hard here, and I think I need to know more of what he said to make a judgment.
Edit: judgement changed to NAH, explanation in comment below. ###### |
I think I already know the answer but thought I’d ask.
I’m a clinical psychologist and have been working in trauma for the last decade. Shortly after I got my license, an opportunity came up for me to provide my services in a hostile environment overseas.
It’s an organization similar to Doctors Without Borders, but n... | NAH.
If you go, you'll be able to come back to your daughter and she'll have a cool story about her parent to tell her friends and more importantly something more to look up to
If you don't, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
The choice is pretty clear. ###### |
I feel so awkward I’m new to this office and quite younger (recent grad) than my boss and coworkers- they are mid 30s I’m 22. The boss said our team should bond and have a team lunch - so we all meet up there and it’s a place where you build your own bowl.
My boss is in the middle of us and tells the workers to just p... | NAH.
If I’m in a group and someone offers to put everything on their card, especially the person who organized and invited me to the get together in the first place, I would also assume that means that person is paying for lunch. If your boss didn’t intend to treat people, she could’ve easily said “let’s put it on m... |
I always thought my neighbor, we'll call him Dave was a great guy. He's retired even though he's in his fifties and oftentimes when I get home he'll be sitting in a lawn chair in his front yard drinking scotch. We'd usually shoot the shit for a while and he started bringing out an extra glass for me.
Anyway, I knew h... | NAH.
I'm Asian and I look 15, when I'm 22. For reference, I'm South Asian. The only reason I'm going with NAH is because you've right to protect your children and if you view Dave as potential threat, then the call is yours.
This situation is tricky because even with the relationship being between consenting adult... |
I know this is a weird and somewhat gross post, but it's 100% serious. I'll try to keep it short.
My husband, who I love more than anything, hates wearing pajamas to bed. If he ever wears any clothes at all, he might wear a T-shirt but no pants or underwear. My husband has fairly good hygiene and showers every day (ty... | NAH.
I get what you you're saying, but sleeping naked is amazing (and pretty normal). Also, sleeping naked after showering is even more amazing. Maybe compromise and have him shower before bed? ###### |
He would give the sperm, and his sisters wife would give the egg and carry the baby. This way both Moms are related.
What is really happening for me as the gf is internal rage that he is having his first kid, but not with me, even though he explicitly told me he wouldn’t raise the kid because it would be the child of... | NAH.
He’s not an asshole, because like you said, he’s doing this out of pure love. His intentions are very clear and in no way he’s trying to make you feel bad.
You’re not an asshole, because you’re entitled to your feelings. This is not an easy situation, and I understand where you’re coming from.
That being sa... |
So the other day I had some friends over and my half brother stopped by (by surprise) and brought me a cake because my birthday was a while ago but I don’t really celebrate it. I introduced them and later after they left he complained why I always tell people he’s my half brother (and not brother) and I said that’s be... | NAH.
* You feel like half-brother is just fact, which is understandable.
* He feels like 'half-brother' unnecessarily emphasizes the fact that he's not your full brother. He may feel like you're purposely calling him 'half-brother' as way of pushing him away or rejecting him, so his feelings are hurt. That's also un... |
This happened all the way back in February, and she's still mad at me. I'd like an opinion on this.
​
I'm a sophomore in college, and right now I'm not really interested in all at a relationship. However, I have a 'fuckbuddy' type thing going with a girl at my college, Jenna. The way Jenna and I define a f... | NAH. .... kay, so you both agreed, that's what you're saying. All this was known on both sides, not just yours... so, you're NTA. However... this is your red flag, that's she's caught feels. Which doesn't make her an A either... but it does mean you have to stop and reassess.... if you still feel the same as day 1, th... |
When we first started dating it was only with the car volume. She’d lose her shit if I changed the volume and it landed on an odd number like 21 or 27 or something. I let it go cuz shit everyone including me’s got their things that don’t make sense to everyone. But it’s gotten a lot worse lately. Idk if it’s always bee... | NAH. Your comment was insensitive but I don't think you rise to the level of being an asshole. Sounds like your GF may have some form of OCD or autism. Even if that's true, so what? If the only way its affecting her life is her insisting on two slices of bacon who cares? ###### |
My sister is married to a very nice woman. They want to have kids, but my sister is infertile. Her wife has no problem with being the birth mom. They want to have their own "bio" child and the closest thing is my sperm (she and I are twins). They would make wonderful parents it's just I am uneasy. I have two boys and t... | NAH. You're allowed to say no. I get why they asked, as you'd be the closest to giving a 'biological' child of both parents. However, you shouldn't feel bad that you cannot go through with it. You're right, being an uncle is different and the idea that your children would have half siblings being raised by their a... |
Throwaway because everyone involved knows my main. I am on mobile and fat fingered so forgive grammer spelling and formatting mistakes.
I dont feel comfortable putting too much detail in this so I will keep it short. If you need more info ask.
With that out of the way, lets begin. So i recently proposed to my girl... | NAH. You are never the AH for wanting something. You are only the AH for things you do.
Privately talk to Leah and let her know your fiance is uncomfortable with her presence and why. It will be an awkward conversation, but still, better than just not inviting her which will have to be seen as a snub. ###### |
My dad wants to marry someone my sister and I don’t know, 10 months after our mum died.
Our dad told us on Tuesday of his plans to marry someone in November. Our mum, his wife of 43 years died in July 2019.
My (34f) and my sister (36f) had our dad tell us he is going to marry someone he ‘reconnected’ with in November... | NAH. studies show that happily married people are most likely to remarry quickly. He'S not at an age where an extended courtship is appropriate. I get that this feels like a betrayal to your Mother but it is not.
when my fil died my mil met a neighbor and they fell for each other. They married. It has been the best ... |
So my gf has been talking for some days about how pretty shaved hair is for girls and about how much she want to do it. (She don’t want people to think she’s a lesbian)
I don’t think it would look good on her, I tried to tell her that, and she got disappointed.
Even though I told her I will still accept her and love h... | NAH. She is allowed to get whatever haircut she wants and you are allowed to like or not like it. ###### |
I know the title makes me sound entitled, but hear me out first before making a judgement, please.
When I was born, my mom put my first name, 2 middle, and 2 last names on my birth certificate. Back then, you had to register separately for a social security number.
In between the time I was born and her registering fo... | NAH. She didn't mess up your name out of malice. It's not entitled to want one name on all of your documents. ###### |
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. We are quite serious- saving for a house, talking about timelines for an engagement, etc.
Since I have known him he has always been a smoker. He smokes about a pack a day, everyday. It averages to $460 a month in cigarettes. I smoke pot regularly (a few times a week) ... | NAH. Quitting really *is* rocket science, but you don't owe him or anybody a romantic relationship. Just because it wasn't a deal-breaker for you last year doesn't mean you're not allowed to change your mind and decide it's a deal-breaker now. ###### |
My girlfriend is a physician assistant. She makes good money and she is satisfied with her job. She does feel regret about going into PA though. She hated school and chose to do PA since it had less schooling than medicine. So her heart wasn’t in it to begin with, which is her fault. It’s been a few years and she wants... | NAH. Not supporting your girlfriend's choice would infer that you told her that she cannot do it. In this circumstance, she asked you for your opinion and you gave it. You can still support her choice while giving her your opinion, the two are not mutually exclusive. How you act once she has made her choice is wha... |
My husband and I live in an area that has tons of cougars. I do shift work, and about 10 times per month, I work at 5:30AM.
A couple of weeks ago I had a terrifying encounter with a cougar. We moved recently, and the layout of our front yard is such that I have to walk through a dense, bushy, enclosed area to access ... | NAH. I understand why you're nervous and would like company, but I'm honestly not sure that his presence would make that much of a difference if a cougar actually does show up. Especially one that's already bold/desperate enough to be stalking humans in the first place. You might be better served working on some se... |
So I'm in my early twenties and volunteer at my old high school to help students who are struggling with science (physics and chemistry) as a tutor. One of the more constant students who come to my sessions is the 16 year old girl. She's really nice. A bit quiet but once she's comfortable she'll talk up a storm.
Earl... | NAH. I think you acted from good motives. But you also overstepped your bounds. This sort of thing should have gone to the school counselor or you should have suggested she talk to her doctor or other health professional. ###### |
I’ll try and keep the backstory as short and to the point as I can because I’m in a real turmoil at the moment.
I was estranged from my dad until my mum died early last year. He came back into my life at her funeral.
He lives in a different country from me with a family I haven’t seen or spoken to in years.
He aske... | NAH. I know this is hard one you with the loss of your mother but if your fathers diagnosis is terminal then he should be spending the time how he sees fit. Any chemo he goes through will be devastating on him and if he wants to spend the remaining time he has in some decent health then that’s up to him. Sorry yo... |
For context I'm Scottish and from a working class background. Most of my family come from Glasgow and as a result my grandparents and dad have quite strong accents.
I 18m, don't have quite as strong an accent due to my mum when I was younger punishing me for pronouncing words "incorrectly" and "not speaking properly... | NAH. I get where you're coming from. I'm also from Glasgow and I also got comments at school for not speaking in as broad an accent.
The fact is, I have worked with Weegies that have never had to adapt their accents and people not from the area can't understand them. Not even joking - I had to interpret for a colle... |
Title probably sounds bad without context but here it goes.
Also this is a throwaway because people know my main account
​
Me (27 M) and my Fiancee (29 F) have been together for about 4 years now.
Back when we first met, she told me that she was engaged to someone else only a year prior, but he unfortuna... | NAH:
No, you are not TAH, but neither is she. Both sides are completely understandable. Is this a deal breaker for you? Would you end the relationship over it? If no, continue to discuss from time to time and try to find a compromise. Maybe she can keep the photos to a particular part of the flat so you don't have t... |
Me(15m) my sister(15f)
This is a throwaway account because my sister knows my main.
My sister has been transitioning for about a year at this point. I have tried my best to be supportive of her in any way I can , for eg I call her by her new name and I have introduced her to some of my female friends cause I guess she... | NAH: you're treating her like you would any other girl.
You should talk to her about this though because from her perspective you're pulling away and she might see that as you secretly hating her for being herself.
Also I'd say there's no issue with roughhousing, or talking about girls you like. Women make excellent... |
Yesterday my girlfriend asks me for my opinion as a man in his twenties, why her best friend Katy, a women in her twenties, is never approached or asked out. I guess they had been talking recently and my girlfriend doesn’t understand why Katy can’t get a date but wants to give her advice. We aren’t in lockdown anymore ... | NAH: You were asked and answered. She shouldn’t have to change, that’s a strong woman, only strong dudes can handle that ###### |
I’ve been a stay at home mom for 12 years, and because of that most of the domestic duty falls to me, though my husband does lend a hand on occasion.
He’s a wonderful cook, and cooks dinner probably two to three times a month. While I cook, he’s usually on his phone in the garage or watching a show. Which is fine, h... | Nah: get yourself a high stool and a glass of wine and relax while he cooks. But he wants to talk to you or enjoy your company while he’s cooking. ###### |
I want to start off by saying that my husband and I aren’t broke, but we also aren’t flushed with cash. We work hard but we have bills to pay, three kids, etc.
When our eldest daughter started looking at colleges, she really wanted to go to a school out of state that would require her and us to fly there and back (an ... | NAH: college is horrifically expensive these days. And the fact that she wants to come home more is evidence that y’all provide a loving home. It’s probably hard for her to accept that the money just isn’t there to do what she wants. Let her be upset about it, but know that you’re not being cruel or an asshole. You dr... |
I'd like to start by saying that both of my parents are very much still in my life. Their divorce happened when I was about 12 and from what I remember, it wasn't very messy, but I know that they really talk much outside of stuff about me like when to drop me off or whatever. I'm 16, so I still live with them, alternat... | NAH, you're not an asshole for not seeing him as a dad and not wanting to call him that. If he keeps it up for too long or starts to use it to manipulate you into calling him dad then yes he'd be TA. But it sounds like he got his hopes up a bit and feels a bit crushed. Give him some time! Maybe let him know he's still... |
I [18M] have a friend [19F] who invited me over to her house a couple months ago. We had been friends for 3 months before that but this was our first time hanging out 1 on 1 after texting each other a lot.
She suggested going in her hot tub so after we got our swim suits on we went in. After sitting, she took her top ... | NAH, you just misread a signal that I think a lot of people would’ve, but ya know, next time there should a step in-between trying to read a signal and walking to her naked. ###### |
A about year ago I knitted my friend a scarf for her birthday. It was one of my first projects without any mistakes and it took me probably 30 hours to make. I’m still really proud of it. It’s a light yellow color, her favorite. She recently has been into tye dying and has dyed most of her wardrobe. She wants to dye th... | NAH, you don’t want a gift you have to be ruined by the dye there NAHs here ###### |
My wife’s best friend died in a tragic accident at 12 years old. She still celebrates her birthday every year and I know she was important to her, of course. I absolutely empathize with that, and I hate seeing my wife still go through that pain of losing a childhood best friend when she was just a child herself. And it... | NAH, you both have sound reasoning for wanting or not wanting the name, maybe it could be a middle name? ###### |
My wife and I have been married for 8 years. We met in university and we both had similar professional careers post graduation in accounting.
5 years ago my wife left her job when we had our first daughter. It was her original plan to become a stay home mom. With no longer having to fulfil the traditional corporate st... | NAH, what you said is reasonable. However rocking up like that is the fastest way to find a workplace that will let your wife be herself.
That said if after a few interviews she's getting the cold shoulder it may be worth revisiting.
So I would advise for now letting your wife know that you support her.
Edit: post... |
I was supposed to get married this September, and as an early wedding gift our friend group decided to buy us tickets to a music festival (Shambhala -we’ve gone the past two years but knew with wedding expenses we probably wouldn’t be able to make it work.) I was so excited about the wedding gift I started crying !
Fa... | NAH, this is a common problem, but they can definitely postpone the camping trip or take it a bit early since you have a specific date you need for an event. ###### |
So me and my step sister are both 17 and graduate this year, my grandparents on my dad's side got me about 600 in cash for me to use. They didn't get my step sister anything cause its my dad's parents and my mom was the one who remarried, her parents died before I was even born. The grandparents on her dad's side are... | NAH, since it seems like your stepsis dropped the issue pretty quickly. Of course you have no control over the gifts your grandparents get and it doesn't seem like you were bragging about it. They've never met her! I don't even know why your mom got involved here. ###### |
In my grad program, a fellow student announced they were having a baby. I am an avid crocheter and decided I would make a unisex baby Afghan and stuffed toy since they didn’t learn the sex until after the birth.
I participated in buying a mommy wellness gift as well. I also reached out to the dad twice asking for the... | NAH, really. You have already been generous. Don't mention again and save your lovely gift for the next friend. ###### |
I'm a musician. I play guitar in a well-known rock band. Please, please, respect my choice to stay anonymous. Thank you.
I'm in my mid 30's, and I transitioned from female to male when I was in my late teens. A few years later, I joined the band, and we made it big. I get asked by fans every once and a while whether ... | NAH, it's absolutely your choice to decide how you present and who you tell. If you are happy keeping it hidden then cool, it's your life, you get to choose what to do and live it how you feel comfortable. Life as a trans man is tough enough, you live it exactly as you want to. The fact is, though, as a trans man who ... |
My daughter (30F) currently lives with me (54F) just for the lockdown period so that we weren't isolated entirely alone. She announced to me a few days ago that she's been dating a woman online and plans to meet up with her and keep dating after lockdown is done. To be honest, I'd suspected that she was seeing someone ... | NAH, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. Maybe it was something she's just feeling nervous about, and asking questions may not have given her the reassurance she was hoping for. Have you been quiet with her as well? She may have gotten in her head that you were just playing nice but actually don't like it.
... |
I (21) finally told my mom that I'm not straight tonight after dinner with my sister (19) sitting there. Immediately after, my sister says "well, since we're admitting things, neither am I." She has severe anxiety and probably would not have said anything for several more years unless I did it first. But it's just both... | NAH, I'm sorry it didn't go the way you planned, but I really don't think your sister hijacked your announcement or was trying to ride your coattails, she felt empowered to come out to your mom because she saw you do it - that's HUGE. it doesn't sound like her motivation was to steal the spotlight, and honestly there ... |
I want to start off by saying that my husband and I aren’t broke, but we also aren’t flushed with cash. We work hard but we have bills to pay, three kids, etc.
When our eldest daughter started looking at colleges, she really wanted to go to a school out of state that would require her and us to fly there and back (an ... | NAH, I'd say. She's stressed about money and hoping you can bail her out. You're being financially prudent and that's fine too.
It's cliche, but this is one of those life lessons for her about how life isn't fair and you just have to do the best you can with what you've got. As kids we're used to parents providing a... |
Context: We share all our chores and cooking and cleaning except laundry, which I’ve offered to do, but my wife says she loves doing the laundry because it’s cathartic for her. We have planned time to take our daughter for alone time and planned dates. And plan out what things we’ll do each week. She currently is a sta... | NAH, I think. Just two tired stressed people that are feeling misunderstood. My spouse and I have been married nearly 45 years. The best thing ever is "What can I do to make your life better today? You assumed is was dishes and clutter stressing your wife out, so you addressed that, which made her feel judged. Nex... |
I (17m) have lived with my grandmother (81), grandfather (80), mother (56), and sister (15) for all of my life. For years my grandmother has always had an uncontrollable sweet tooth. She vomited uncontrollably after eating a half pound of white chocolate. She ate an entire pack of double stuffed oreos 2 weeks ago. And ... | NAH, I think your mum needs to get her checked out. Uncontrollable cravings like that can mean vitamin or mineral deficiencies. ###### |
On mobile, sorry for formatting.
I(21f) has been looking for housing for school I'm starting in the fall but due to all corona regulations it's been mostly chatting with people on a facebook page. I found a property that fit what I needed and scheduled an in person visit to see the property. Since I don't have a car ... | NAH, I think that you are totally justified being annoyed, but at the same time they are the ones driving you. On top of that staying shut in for 3 months has been pretty awful, especially for people who thrive when going out and doing stuff. I don't think your mother has any ill intentions, and I know you don't eithe... |
This isn't a huge thing but it's been quietly bugging me for a while so I'd like a second opinion. About 4 years ago I got some new neighbours and they had a 10yo son who I'll refer to as C. I'm not usually a huge fan of kids but over time C has really grown on me.
Now I'm kinda a projects guy, I spend a lot of my tim... | NAH, he's learning life skills, but if you're earning money from the projects he's working on then you should fairly compensate him. It doesn't have to be a 50/50 split of the cash, but the occasional gift like the set of tools sounds fair. ###### |
My husband and I are childfree. We don’t want kids, have never wanted kids. I actually got my tubes tied 2 years ago. We’ve been married for the past 10 years, together a total of 12 years.
Before me, my husband had one serious relationship. I knew of her because they had broken up about 2 months before we got togeth... | NAH, especially not you. I can see the argument for why your husband would be TA (although I'm not sure I agree with it...) But frankly, you have VERY little to do with this whole situation. By agreeing with his plan to pay child support out of what I assume to be your blended finances (as you are married), you're alr... |
This happened a while ago (almost two years) but i was pondering on it and wondering.
So my grandma and I had one thing in common, our morbid sense of humor. We bonded over it for years and it was the highlight of our relationship. Well she told me a couple times that she wanted me to dress as the grim reaper for her ... | NAH, but you and your grandma could have made your wishes known to people that weren't yourselves. I can understand your family's reaction. ###### |
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