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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617337 | [S1] ... characteristic of non-REM sleep, which is the first states we normally go into when we fall asleep. So acetylcholine turns off in animals that sleep unihemispherically. [S2] What, okay, that's a big word. What is unihem- hem- I can't even see the thing. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] I'm afraid of these, seriously. [S1] [... | 17.72 | 3.262887 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617337.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617338 | [S1] never even occurred to me that it goes way beyond rest because what we're about to learn today is there's all these really critical health and mind health-like functions- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... that can only happen when part of the brain is in sleep mode. Is that right? [S2] That's right. Absolutely. [S1] Holy cow. S... | 19.92 | 3.499191 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617338.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617339 | [S1] What the perfect night's sleep, based on your 30 years of research. [S2] Right. [S1] What does a perfect night's sleep look like? Just so that we have a benchmark for what would be ideal. [S2] I think if you just look at a | 13.96 | 3.32469 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617339.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617340 | [S1] Okay, so the perfect night's sleep for health, um, as an adult is something around plus seven and a half, eight hours, plus or minus an hour, something like that. [S2] Okay. [S1] You should be awakened by the sunlight, essentially, so that's something that resets our clock every day. And, um, and then, so you kind... | 29.56 | 3.348507 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617340.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617341 | [S1] Um, different people need different amounts of sleep. Some people need more like nine, some people are fine with six for a while. [S2] How do you know? [S1] You just have to know from your own body. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Some people, if they get six hours of sleep, | 14.52 | 3.540226 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617341.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617342 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] You already said one takeaway that I want to make sure that you listened and got from us, which is you start with the time that you want to wake up. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And then you roll the clock backwards and you're basically saying that it's seven to eight hours, give or take an hour. [S1] Yeah. [S2] S... | 29.24 | 3.388829 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617342.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617343 | [S1] lasts on average about two minutes before, you know, for example, if you're reading a book- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... and you fall asleep reading the book, you won't remember the last two minutes of reading. Or if you're listening to a podcast, you won't remember the last few minutes of the podcast before you actually f... | 22.8 | 3.425239 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617343.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617344 | [S1] So there's that dozing period which I rather like. I love that sort of, you kinda drift from your mind spinning to all of a sudden almost like you're floating in a pool. [S2] Right. [S1] That only lasts two minutes? [S2] Um, no. Stage one is variable. It's about, you know, two to five minutes, something like that.... | 27.12 | 3.390076 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617344.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617346 | [S1] Okay. [S2] So it's our brain, um, losing hold of reality and all kinds of imaginary, imagination things happen. For example, it can be as boring as feeling like you're falling off a step. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Um, because not all of parts of your brain are asleep at the same time as you kind of drift into it. And so y... | 29.36 | 3.489364 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617346.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617347 | [S1] That's scary, you can wake up from that and, and then feel like, "Oh, what just happened? You know, was there a monster in my room? Really?" I think that's the idea of nightmares, um, comes from that idea of just the hallucinations, the weird hallucinations that come. [S2] And this is as your brain is sort of tryi... | 25.88 | 3.31588 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617347.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617348 | [S1] ... day. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I didn't know that. [S2] Yeah, and not everybody, most people, in fact, don't wake up from that. N2, it's called. N1 is dozing. N2 is that state of sleep which has pretty vivid, um, dreams, kind of, but they're not, | 14.92 | 3.291969 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617348.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617349 | [S1] Having dreamed anything, it will be, you know, a blank slate. And it's actually pretty hard to wake someone up out of that state. It's, um, it's, yeah, it's a, uh, it's a deep, it's called a deep sleep. [S2] And what's the purpose? You use the word wave. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Like what is, what is actually happening i... | 24.24 | 3.170482 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617349.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617350 | [S1] Yeah, yeah. So that's, um, a time when we know that our brain is cleaning itself, actually. [S2] Wait, what? [S1] Yes. [S2] It's cleaning itself? [S1] Yeah, it's cleaning itself like a- [S2] A what? | 11.56 | 3.279688 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617350.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617351 | [S1] Of what? [S2] Like, uh, of all the junk that builds up during the daytime when we're awake and alert. Um- [S1] What kind of junk builds up? [S2] Well, proteins get unfolded and, um, yeah, so, uh, things break down, energy is used. All of that gets restored in that deep sleep, state of sleep, so. Um, and- [S1] Huh.... | 29.52 | 3.332341 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617351.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617352 | [S1] ... comes through your brain? [S2] It's like a wave cleansing the brain, yes. And it come, there's one per minute or so, actually one per second, actually, so a lot more often than that. And it sweeps from front to back, um, and it just pushes all the junk into your cerebral spinal fluid and out into your body. [S... | 26.92 | 3.404228 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617352.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617353 | [S1] It's, it's called REM sleep. And, uh- [S2] How is that different than the waves? So- [S1] It's, it's very different. It's actually also called paradoxical sleep because if you look at brain activity, it looks just like someone's awake. [S2] Really? Why? [S1] And thoughts are going through and, um, dreams are happe... | 25.72 | 3.116578 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617353.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617354 | [S1] What is your brain doing? [S2] When you're dreaming? [S1] Yeah, in that REM stage. [S2] Yeah, you are, um, well, first of all, you're creating dreams. It's also... | 10 | 3.16575 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617354.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617355 | [S1] I wanna see if I can give that back to you. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] To make sure that you listening are tracking because I just had a big like, "Whoa, aha," kinda moment here. So you said that the first four hours of sleep are critical for creativity and I've also, I think, read in your, in your research that it's also ... | 29.2 | 3.412159 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617355.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617356 | [S1] What is the, what is the difference between- [S2] Making and remembering? [S1] Making and assimilation of memories. [S2] So, so making memories requires, um, us to pay attention to things in the outside world and put them together. And assimilating means you've taken those things from the outside world and now you... | 22.36 | 3.440435 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617356.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617357 | [S1] ... pieces of information. And it's good for creativity because, um, these new pieces of information get assimilated into different schema in ways that we can't do when we're awake. [S2] Okay, I'm, I think I'm actually getting this. [S1] Okay. [S2] You're basically saying that neuroplasticity, | 20.48 | 3.47285 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617357.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617358 | [S1] isn't happening when we're learning. The neuroplasticity is happening when we're sleeping. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] There's that saying in the exercise world that your abs are made in the kitchen, not in the gym, because of food being medicine. And what you're basically saying is habits are made in your bedroom while you... | 27.04 | 3.430274 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617358.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617359 | [S1] The chemicals, or I don't know if that's the right word, but the chemicals in your brain, which are serotonin and norepinephrine, or however you say it. [S2] Norepinephrine, noradrenaline. [S1] Noradrenaline. [S2] If you give it adrenaline. [S1] That's easier for me to say. [S2] It is easier. [S1] Noradrenaline. [... | 29.2 | 2.892794 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617359.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617360 | [S1] Yeah, it goes into a schema. Schema are things like, you know, what is Christmas? There's a whole host of things- [S2] Oh, oh. [S1] ... that are associated with Christmas. Or, um, you know, what does summer mean? Um, and- [S2] Gotcha. [S1] ... there's a whole host of things, and that's a schema into which th- a lo... | 17 | 3.29969 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617360.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617361 | [S1] Yeah. Oh, I understand. So it's almost like our own internal search architecture. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I think about it like Legos, you know? [S2] Yeah. [S1] Summer Lego box has a whole lot of little Lego cubes in it of different colors and you can create different things. [S2] Yeah. [S1] This is really cool. And so ne... | 27.96 | 3.144405 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617361.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617362 | [S1] for that to happen. Like you have to have sleep in order to have that formation happening in your brain and body. [S2] That's right. Because during the day you can assemble the, you can collect these Lego pieces, but you don't assemble them into a coherent schema. [S1] Wow. [S2] So, yeah. I think if you think of s... | 19.96 | 3.448883 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617362.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617364 | [S1] The whole process does not work nearly as efficiently or at all. So for example, if you just eliminate the REM sleep part, you can't consolidate your memories and put them together. If you eliminate the deep slow wave sleep part, the N3 state- [S2] The cleaning. [S1] The cleaning part, you will wake up with a junk... | 21.88 | 3.296525 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617364.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617365 | [S1] Well, that kind of makes sense because if you haven't brought the Zamboni into your brain to clean out all the junk- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... then you're not working with a clear palette when it comes to locking in- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... the things that are new. [S2] Yeah, that's right. Exactly. [S1] Right? And so how many... | 14.88 | 3.040263 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617365.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617366 | [S1] ... cycles do we do in a night? [S2] About five. A five is, would be ideal. [S1] Okay. [S2] Actually. So, um, that's, that's four, five, six and a half, seven hours of sleep, something like that. The first sleep cycle is a little longer than 90 minutes, um, probably because that N3 state is a little longer and you... | 23.4 | 3.294768 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617366.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617367 | [S1] ... part of the last half of the night, you don't have nearly as much N3 sleep. So if you miss the first half of the night, you'll miss most of that N3 sleep, which is the cleaning stage. So you don't want to miss that first half. [S2] Um, how would you miss the first half? [S1] Oh, | 16.12 | 3.302484 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617367.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617368 | [S1] If you fall asleep, that's like, let's just say the clock's at zero. You fall asleep, whether it's at nine o'clock at night or one o'clock in the morning. That's hour zero. [S2] Mm, no. [S1] No. Wait, what? [S2] [LAUGHS] Your body knows what time it is of day it is. So your body knows the difference between nine o... | 26.36 | 3.191302 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617368.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617369 | [S1] Okay. [S2] How would you, like, 'cause I don't understand how you would miss- [S1] Right. [S2] ... the, the wave, the, the wave coming through and cleaning your brain out- [S1] Mm-hmm, right. [S2] ... if it typically happens in the first... [S1] So if you go to bed in late chronically and wake up late chronically-... | 28.76 | 3.036981 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617369.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617370 | [S1] ... novelty and the immediacy and the physical reality of the emotions of those memories from the facts, the semantic facts that you put together that you can recall for, for the rest of your life. And that's what happens normally. But people who have insomnia and they don't have good quality of REM sleep, they're... | 29.88 | 3.421302 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617370.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617371 | [S1] profound and exciting in terms of that kind of insight. Because if you think about it, I would imagine it's also applicable to somebody that has a lot of trauma. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Um, somebody that, uh, has a lot of chronic pain. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That all of that is a very real, lived, stored experience in your bod... | 25.8 | 3.334735 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617371.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617372 | [S1] Yeah, absolutely. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Not only can help you, but it's necessary. [S2] It's necessary to heal. [S1] Yeah, it's necessary to heal. [S2] Could you explain what the circadian rhythm is? [S1] Yeah. | 12.52 | 3.172111 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617372.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617373 | [S1] ... to us. [S2] Right. So it, every cell in our body has a clock in it. And these clocks are aligned by a master clock in our brain called the sup- super chiasmatic nucleus, SCN for short. And that nucleus is, um, reset every day by light coming in through our eyes. And, and is our clock running on a 24-hour cycle... | 26.52 | 3.45951 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617373.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617374 | [S1] ... or- [S2] Roughly, roughly. And that's why it needs to be reset every day because everybody's clock is a little bit, the, the period is a little different and- [S1] And how do you- [S2] Know what you're- [S1] ... intentionally reset this internal circadian rhythm? [S2] Yeah. Well, there are many ways. I ta- I t... | 29.48 | 3.391828 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617374.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617375 | [S1] That is the clock hits zero in terms of your brain going, okay, the day has started. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So you really do need to control your light exposure, um, to make sure your time keeper sets it to the world that you need it to be. So if you | 17.04 | 3.470014 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617375.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617376 | [S1] ... you were to use this research around circadian rhythms- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... to improve your sleep, how would I go about figuring out what's the first thing I need to do in the morning- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... to reset my clock to, you know, now- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... to start training myself to get a better nigh... | 17.2 | 3.435091 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617376.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617377 | [S1] ... hear that? So there are some very free and, and specific steps there. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Which is get some bright light exposure, and I take it even a cloudy or rainy day is gonna suffice. [S2] Yeah. So much brighter than indoor light. [S1] Okay. [S2] Even a cloudy day. [S1] And how long should we be standing o... | 18.64 | 3.39919 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617377.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617378 | [S1] It doesn't even take that long. You know, 20 minutes is plenty of time to give your clock. And if you can be exercising during that time, all the better. So get out and walk. [S2] If I can only get out for two minutes, would it make a difference? [S1] Yeah. Two minutes make a difference. Yeah, makes a difference. ... | 15.52 | 3.393564 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617378.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617379 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] And then you also heard everybody that based on the exact same research and principles, staring at your phone, your computer screen, your television for like in the, in the evening is a big no-no unless you've got the blue light blockers, right? [S1] Yeah. Yep. [S2] Because it is signaling to your brain... | 24.88 | 3.363098 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617379.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617382 | [S1] and you start, like, getting yourself ready to, to go to sleep again when the sun sets. [S2] Yeah. [S1] One of the things that I found really interesting in your research is the importance of a consistent bedtime. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And a growth hormone that gets released. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And, um, why is that con... | 23.28 | 3.399889 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617382.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617383 | [S1] ... 10 times higher than it is, um, when you're awake. [S2] Huh. [S1] So it's a big spurt of growth hormone that can do things that little spurts can't do. [S2] What does the growth hormone do? [S1] Growth hormone helps you build proteins. Um, all those amino acids that you eat during the day need to be built into... | 27.56 | 3.406213 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617383.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617384 | [S1] Now is also screwing up the signaling. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Like imagine, like I think about it this way. When our three kids were little, they had a bed-night routine. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Same bedtime, the same routine. We're winding down, we're picking up the toys, we're saying good night, we're going up for the bath, ... | 28.64 | 3.464584 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617384.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617385 | [S1] ... this intentional pattern- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... that was training our kids- [S2] Right. [S1] ... it's time to wind down and sleep. [S2] Yeah, that's right. [S1] And it sounds like that's exactly what we need as adults. [S2] Yes, we need the same thing as adults. Exactly. You've put it really well. And in fact,... | 20.72 | 3.423773 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617385.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617386 | [S1] A bath and exercise. You heard it here. And bright light in the morning and a consistent bedtime. Those four things that you are giving everybody for free based on decades and decades of research. [S2] Yeah. And not too much caffeine too late. [S1] Oh, yeah. That's right. That's number five. | 14.32 | 3.347446 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617386.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617387 | [S1] That's right. [S2] Exactly. So you're one of the, uh, most renowned sleep researchers in the world. What is your sleep routine? [S1] What time do you go to bed? Like, when do you stop looking? Like, kind of walk us through your evening. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You've had dinner, then what do you do for your optimal sleep?... | 25.92 | 3.354542 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617387.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617388 | [S1] I can distract my racing brain with a really dumb little game on my phone, with my phone set to non-blue light. [S2] Wait, I'm like, wait, wait. Did, did, did the sleep researcher just tell me she's playing a game on her phone? [S1] Right, but I turn off the blue light. [S2] I feel like I need to delete this. [S1]... | 29.4 | 3.15285 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617388.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617389 | [S1] The dumb game is something that's not mentally challenging. And of course if I lose, it's okay. So I, I just, and, you know, it's threes. We're used to numbers together to form three and then, anyway. Um, so, yeah. And within ten minutes, I'm usually, I'm out. Um- [S2] Wow. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Wow. [S1] I don't even b... | 25.16 | 3.292807 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617389.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617390 | [S1] ... even like to have the phone in the bedroom. [S2] No, it's better to have it not in the bedroom. And, and of course my phone is set to do not disturb mode so that- [S1] Okay. [S2] ... it's not disturbing me. [S1] Okay. [S2] And it doesn't. Yeah. [S1] All right. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Um- [S2] It's better to have it ... | 24.48 | 3.334643 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p115_m4-dialogue_0617390.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096759 | [S1] What do you do if you're a kid and you feel like your parents play favorites? [S2] Ooh. [S1] Here's another one. My sister wants to know if Oakley is single, and if yes, she'd like to ensure that he's not a Gemini. [S2] [LAUGHS] Interesting. [S1] What are, um, some of your tips for how to deal with anxiety? Will y... | 27.56 | 3.087975 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096759.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096760 | [S1] Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I'm Mel, and today I'm really excited because I'm not alone. I'm here with one of my favorite people, somebody that I love, our 18-year-old son, Oakley. [S2] Yeah. [S1] [LAUGHS]. [S2] It's me, guys. [S1] [LAUGHS]. ... | 29.4 | 3.368734 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096760.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096761 | [S1] And I love you guys. [S2] And in case you're brand new to the Mel Robbins podcast, I just want to take a minute and welcome you and also explain a little bit of background. Oakley is our 18 year old son. He is the youngest of three. He's a senior in high school and he- [S1] Just applied to college. It was great. [... | 23 | 3.464239 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096761.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096762 | [S1] on so many things that I struggled with for like 50 years. Like when I think about anxiety, confidence. [S2] Mm. [S1] Where you are at the age of 18 versus where I was at 18? I mean, I was like in peak Mel Schneeberger dysfunction. | 22.88 | 3.423608 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096762.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096763 | [S1] I, I feel like you are, like I have, I feel almost like you're the kind of person, you know how people say you're an old soul? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I feel at times like I'm the parent of somebody who lived to be 100 years who came back as you. [S2] That would be kinda cool. | 16.56 | 3.431269 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096763.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096764 | [S1] and you're listening to this because you know that it can help you improve your life. And I think that's pretty cool. You're my kind of person. So, thank you. Thank you for being here. [S2] Yeah, thanks guys. It's awesome. [S1] Okay, so, you ready? [S2] Of course. [S1] All right, let's jump in. The first question.... | 28.84 | 3.478747 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096764.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096765 | [S1] And nine times out of 10, that college that you're going to go to instead is going to be pretty sweet. And if you don't like it, you can transfer out of it and do another one. Um, but it's, it's important to not let the, it's, it's, it's important to not have a mindset of my whole life depends on this. [S2] What i... | 27.72 | 3.323697 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096765.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096766 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] You said something the other day that I think is really important. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Which is I wanted to ask you something about that essay. [S1] Yeah. [S2] And you said, "Mom, | 12.64 | 3.427021 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096766.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096767 | [S1] Yeah. Setting boundaries is huge. I do want to go into a specific, uh, about the college process just to help some people. [S2] No, this is good. This is a good thing. [S1] Okay. Okay. Okay. I do want to go into a specific about the college process just to like help some people out. If you're a parent and you have... | 20.64 | 3.350181 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096767.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096768 | [S1] Just take their needs into account and understand that they are also grieving. [S2] And they need to maybe go through it a little bit differently than you need them to go through it. [S1] Yeah, 100%. Do not talk about your spouse with them. Don't be like, "Oh, I'm so upset with what they've been doing," or stuff l... | 17.96 | 3.338401 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096768.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096769 | [S1] You take two showers a day? [S2] Every day. [S1] You do? [S2] Yes. [S1] Why? | 4.72 | 3.014914 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096769.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096770 | [S1] Well, so the night is when I, like, use soap and everything. [S2] Yep. [S1] And, like, clean myself. And then the morning is 'cause my hair's really, like, thick and curly. [S2] Yep. [S1] And so when I sleep, it's like, it's really like this. [S2] Like a helmet. [S1] It's like a helmet when I wake up. And the only... | 28.84 | 2.987864 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096770.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096771 | [S1] I had no idea that you journal every single day. [S2] It's great. Love to journal. Even for five minutes, like writing anything down. It's, it's amazing. [S1] When did you start that? [S2] Last year, maybe? [S1] You've been doing this for a year? [S2] Yeah. Yeah. [LAUGHS] I would never show you my journal. That's ... | 24.24 | 3.268533 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096771.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096772 | [S1] I really want to hunt down your journal and crack it open to read it. I'm not going to lie about that. I am going to respect your boundary, that this is your privacy. Okay, great. Um, other boundaries that I have with, with him are, um, around just safety. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That sort of stuff. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Um... | 27.4 | 3.408715 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096772.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096773 | [S1] Or what's going on in my friends lives. [S2] Mm-mm. Yeah, I'd agree with that. [S1] Okay, great. Anything else you'd add? [S2] No, I'd say that that covers all the bases. Except my room is pretty clean most of the time. [S1] So the next question is from a listener who writes, "How did your parents talk about alcoh... | 24.64 | 3.394049 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096773.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096774 | [S1] If we're ever going to do anything, before we do it at a party or somewhere else, you want us to do it with you? [S2] Yes. [S1] So that it's like, it's, we're in a safe environment, we're with people we care about, you can take care of us, and it's all safe. No drinking and driving, that's your number one rule. [S... | 23.96 | 3.436306 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096774.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096775 | [S1] No. [S2] Why? [S1] You ask me to call you and, well, you don't ground me because, again, it's a natural part of life. Like it's experimentation. Everybody experiments. And also, wait, why don't, like, 'cause we're getting punished enough by the cops? Like I feel like that's- | 16.04 | 3.475496 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096775.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096776 | [S1] That's a great question. I'll, I'll tell you why. Because here's how I've chosen to handle this issue with your dad. Because this is a deeply personal issue in terms of how you decide you're going to talk about it with your kids. And so for us, we took the time to figure out what do we value here? Because number o... | 26.88 | 3.464117 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096776.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096777 | [S1] punish them when they drank or banned the alcohol or pretended it didn't happen, it created a lack of trust, it created sneakiness, it created lying, all of which led to very dangerous behavior. And so for me, I don't know whether it's the right call or the wrong call. It has been a very smart and successful call ... | 26.4 | 3.440913 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096777.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096778 | [S1] Yes. If I ever found out that you got in a car with somebody who was drinking, or you yourself got behind the wheel- [S2] I would- [S1] ... you would lose the right to drive for a year. | 9.08 | 3.560808 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096778.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096779 | [S1] And I'll, I'll expand upon this, of course. [S2] Okay. [S1] But like, when, like, you know, when it's time to break up with somebody, you know. Like, you will always know what you want deep down. And like, nine times out of 10, what's holding you back is your worry about their feelings and hurting them. But in a r... | 27.84 | 3.355339 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096779.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096780 | [S1] No. [S2] Why? [S1] No, I don't. I, like, this is, I mean, this is a me thing, but if I'm gonna, if I, like, I want to know the person, I want to, like, care about them, I wanna feel like there's something there, um, I wanna see, like, something with them to just, like, 'cause I don't see a point in just, like, hoo... | 24.48 | 3.304163 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096780.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096781 | [S1] Um, I just, I feel like it's kinda just like tacky and dumb. But- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] [LAUGHS] If you do it, like, you do it, and that's totally fine, and I'm not gonna say you're wrong, but for me, I feel like I want to know them and care about them and respect them. 'Cause it also just makes it feel more special ... | 26.8 | 3.172358 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096781.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096782 | [S1] You know, the best way is that in the beginning you need space. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Like you can't be talking to them after. There can be no, like, hookups afterwards. You can't get back together and try and hook up. Um, you shouldn't be calling them while you're drunk or anything like that. And you need to understa... | 29.24 | 3.438105 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096782.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096783 | [S1] But you can still be friends. You can still, you can still hang out from time to time. But, um, it's important to know that it won't be the exact same and that it may be a little awkward from time to time. [S2] Um, how, this is somebody who's going into college. They wanna know how can I stay in touch with or supp... | 28 | 3.304246 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096783.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096784 | [S1] For me and my sisters, honestly, like we, I wouldn't say we talk that much. Like we were, we talked every now and then, maybe like twice a month. [S2] So it's six and five years difference. [S1] Mm-hmm. We're, we were just living like our lives. Like we were in school and that takes up our priority and there's a l... | 26.24 | 3.402147 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096784.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096785 | [S1] I am here. I'm always going to be here, even if I'm not in the house. Um, that's huge. That's really big. Uh, even if you guys aren't talking every day, which you don't need to be, but I just recommend you definitely say, like, "I'm here to talk whenever you need. Like, I'm always here for you. I went through high... | 25.52 | 3.389408 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096785.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096786 | [S1] Yeah, we do like, they're like up all day long with like photos and having a big family group chat's great 'cause like for me, I don't really communicate that often. Like I'm a horrible texter. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I'm horrible at it. And so having the group chat where it's just like mom's like, "How is everybody?" And... | 23.72 | 3.427756 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096786.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096787 | [S1] It makes us feel very connected. [S2] Connected. [S1] And you can pop in, you can pop out. We celebrate each other. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] We do roll call occasionally. [S2] Yeah. [S1] We share funny memes. [S2] Yeah. | 9.56 | 3.168535 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096787.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096788 | [S1] Yeah. A family group chat for anything that you want to talk about is just such a great way to feel connected just 'cause you don't feel like you have to have like a serious conversation. Like you can send one word things. Just like so many times people will text just like, "Miss you guys," and then it's just some... | 27.2 | 3.495798 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096788.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096789 | [S1] I would say, "I'm sorry you feel that way. What am I doing that makes you feel that way?" [S2] Yeah. [S1] And how can I change? [S2] If you're going to go into that conversation with your parents, 'cause that's a pretty serious conversation, I think that you should definitely, um, have a few examples in mind, a fe... | 25.12 | 3.346905 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096789.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096790 | [S1] Because if you tell your parents they're playing favorites, they'll get defensive. If you say, "Hey, I'm starting to feel like I'm not important." [S2] Yeah, that's, yeah. [S1] And then you give the examples. [S2] List a few examples. [S1] Then they'll be more open to it. Here's another question, Oak. This time it... | 21.8 | 3.157226 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096790.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096791 | [S1] Oakley, my 15 year old is always in her room. Do I just let her be? I'm scared for our relationship and I don't know what to do. [S2] Hmm. Well, I'm guessing she's always in her room because she's probably on her phone. [S1] Oh. [S2] Oh, yeah. [S1] Wait, that's what you guys do in your rooms? [S2] I mean, most lik... | 25.76 | 3.313439 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096791.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096792 | [S1] Mm-hmm. Yeah, honestly, since I'm like a senior in high school, what I'm mostly doing in my room is homework or like talking to my friends on the phone. But, yeah. [S2] So she's in her room because she wants privacy while she's on her phone? [S1] Yes. [S2] Okay. So what do you do about that? [S1] She's 15, so her ... | 20.08 | 3.205191 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096792.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096793 | [S1] I'd just be like, "Hey, like, I feel as though you're in your room a lot as of recently, and I'm just kinda curious as to what's happening." You know? [S2] Nothing. [S1] [LAUGHS] And then I would say, "I wanna respond to nothing." That's a great, like, I use that line all the- [S2] No shit, you do. [S1] ... I use ... | 22.64 | 3.332075 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096793.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096795 | [S1] So don't worry about the fact that she's in her room on her phone. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Is there any kind of thing to do at dinner that opens up conversation? [S2] Yeah, we, we play a game called high and low, which is in the title. You share your high of the day and your low of the day, and you just go around and yo... | 22.88 | 3.430482 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096795.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096796 | [S1] Yeah, I think I definitely used to have a problem with gaming too much. [S2] Really? [S1] When I was younger, yeah, for sure. Just 'cause, well, well, the thing with guys is that it's super common for a girl to jump on the phone and talk to her best friend for three hours. [S2] Yep. [S1] And it, that's not frowned... | 22.32 | 3.418902 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096796.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096797 | [S1] But what they do do is they jump on like their Xbox or their console or their computer and they game for three hours. And the guy thinks of it as the equivalent of like talking to their friend on the phone for three hours. But instead of, um, just like talking, they're like doing something in front of them as well... | 21.92 | 3.507237 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096797.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096798 | [S1] Because he would be so upset that you were spending hours on, like, whatever video game. I'd be like, "Dude, he's not alone." Like, he's hanging out with his friends. They're on their headsets. They're talking to each other while they're playing. [S2] Yeah. [S1] This is, this is a play date. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And it... | 21.84 | 3.464837 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096798.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096799 | [S1] of throwing the ball around, kicking the soccer ball around. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And also, the thing about gaming is most kids that play, that are gaming, they also do it 'cause they're good at it. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And it's one thing they're good at. [S2] Yeah. It is. That's what's like kinda nice about it 'cause like ... | 27.52 | 3.399985 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096799.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096800 | [S1] Interesting. Um, yeah, I am single right now and I am a Pisces. [S2] Nice. [S1] Born in March. [S2] Born in March. Okay. Um, are you looking for a relationship? [S1] I don't need to talk about that. [S2] What? [S1] So I don't need to talk about that here. But, you know, I'm just, just playing it by ear. I'm just l... | 26.32 | 3.48087 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096800.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096801 | [S1] For most people, they're quite confident until they get to like middle school when people are starting to be like, "Oh my God, like I hate myself because like, for some reason." Um. [S2] I think it's puberty. I think your body starts to change. [S1] It is puberty. It's definitely puberty. [S2] And you lose control... | 15.92 | 3.31885 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096801.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096802 | [S1] Yeah. Yeah. And it's also just like how everybody starts to talk about each other rather than like other things. 'Cause in elementary school you guys were just talking about, who knows what, honestly. I don't know what's going on. [S2] Legos. [S1] Yeah, Legos, like, toys, uh- [S2] Stuff you're collecting. [S1] ...... | 27.52 | 3.437374 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096802.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096803 | [S1] I think it's super important to- [S2] You went through the stage where you were self-conscious. [S1] Of course, I did, yeah. [S2] How did you go from a kid who was worried about his boobs- [S1] Oh my God, my moobs. My man boobs. Um, | 12.44 | 3.436191 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096803.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096804 | [S1] I mean, one thing, time heals all, for sure. [S2] Yeah. [S1] But also just understanding that everybody's going through the same exact thing that you are. Like you may look at your, uh, feet, I guess, and not like the way your feet look, while other people are like looking at their forehead. And it's, they're neve... | 26.48 | 3.336666 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096804.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096805 | [S1] ... it. [S2] Theater's a good way, it's such a good way to become more confident, 'cause you just, you just have to get over, like, being shy and not wanting to express yourself. So theater's a great way. Not saying that you should force your kids to do theater, but, um, theater's a really good way to get more con... | 29.28 | 3.376881 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096805.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096806 | [S1] Um, I loved it. Like, I was having fun with it. And at first, I felt like it was something where I'd get judged for doing it. And then I realized that, you know, you only live once, which is super corny, but it's like, if you never do it, then you're just gonna regret it. So I just went for it, and I ended up havi... | 24 | 3.534294 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096806.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096807 | [S1] And so simply going, "I'm gonna go for it. I'm gonna try this thing I've never done," it does give you a boost of confidence because you stop judging yourself the moment you put it on. [S2] Yeah. The moment I put it on, I was like, "All right, this is sick." [S1] Let's go. What I love about that, Oakley, is you ca... | 28.08 | 3.438522 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096807.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096808 | [S1] I can give you another example of doing something new in your life, uh, how that builds confidence. Take Dad, for example. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Uh, he has started these men's retreats and now he has gone back to school and is getting his master's, which is sick. [S2] That's totally sick. [S1] Super sick. | 15.24 | 3.499564 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p116_m4-dialogue_0096808.mp3 | [
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