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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_m4-dialogue_0408005
[S1] Why are you mad at me? [S2] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about it, and we'll just see how I do. [S1] Okay. [S2] When I was three months old, my parents are immigrants from India. And in 1965, they came here to build a life. I grew up in Michigan, in Grand Blanc, Michigan, and I'm the middl...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_m4-dialogue_0408006
[S1] My grandmother scooped me up, uh, to have a talk with my parents, uh, scooped me up and said, "I'm gonna take Neha with me. Uh, you take care of Rithu, she's potty-trained. I'm gonna take Neha with me. We're gonna have lot, we'll have plenty of resources there, and me, and everything's gonna be great." And my pare...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_m4-dialogue_0408007
[S1] And so when my parents, they came to pick me up and brought me back, I didn't stop crying for more than a month. [S2] Wow. [S1] I would just wake up, I'd be crying. Where is my gran, where is my nanny and nana? Where are they? And my parents, who were in their 20s, doing the best they knew how, you know, move into...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_m4-dialogue_0408009
[S1] The vast majority, 70% of people said, "I often say yes when I mean no." And the majority of the time it's at work and with friends. 82% of people responded that they feel constantly stressed, irritated, tired, and impatient. And they attributed it as being related to some conflict that they were avoiding. [S2] Ye...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_m4-dialogue_0408010
[S1] ... have seen the impact not only in your own life- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... but with your patients, both when you were practicing as a resident and also in your current practice, the impact of all of this pent up inability to tolerate emotion and then twisting yourself in knots- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... to make everythin...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_m4-dialogue_0408011
[S1] ... easier to do the dishes. It's easier not to say something. It's easier to go to their house for the holidays. It's just easier to say, "I'll take the pager," or, "I'll do the summary of the report," or, "I'll handle the thing," or, "I'll pick it up," or, "I'll just say yes 'cause I don't wanna deal with the dr...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_m4-dialogue_0408012
[S1] Well, well, you're taking the short-term high and you're going to end up with the long-term yuck, okay? You're going to end up with looking yourself in the mirror saying, "Does everyone think I'm a magic fairy around this house? Like nobody else does anything." So what happens is, Mel, if there's a conflict betwee...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_m4-dialogue_0408013
[S1] I wanted to be of value, and I didn't want anybody to send me away again. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So it's a safety thing. It's subconscious. Of course, I didn't know it at the time. But boy, this is the value of going back and understanding the blueprint of your childhood, of understanding the decisions you made to surv...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p119_m4-dialogue_0408014
[S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And that we, we give up who we really are, if we know that, uh, consciously. If we know who we are, we give it up in order to stay, keep the relationship, stay attached, be part of a group. [S1] Yeah. [S2] I went to med school. [S1] Yeah. [S2] [LAUGHS] So, yeah, engineering and med school, um, absolut...
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[S1] I did it. Now I can see that I did it, uh, with those underlying un- subconscious intentions. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I went to engineering school.
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[S1] And I want to go back to what I said at the very beginning, which is that I'd never thought about my husband Chris as a people pleaser. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because I consider myself a people pleaser, not anymore, but that in the past, for probably almost 50 years, I was actively
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[S1] It didn't even matter if he was crying. [S2] Correct. [S1] Oh, because he was up in the crib in the attic. [S2] Correct. [S1] The function of your brain is to help you seek pleasure and avoid pain. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Very basically. That's, it's like this, this, this to, amazing, incredible tool that helps keep us ...
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[S1] Yeah. Well, listen, resentment is, uh, such a big clue. It's a big clue that your boundaries have been trampled all over, and you probably never even drew them. So you may never have even told people that boundaries were there. [S2] Most people don't. [S1] No. And, and yet you find yourself, uh, resentful. And the...
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[S1] ... hoping that you die. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Right? That's how effective that is. And so the resentment is one of those big clues that you have overextended yourself, that you have done, you've said yes when you meant no. You've given people parts of you that you wanted to keep for yourself, whether it was your tim...
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[S1] It's a gigantic, ugh. Like it's a full body, like, fuck. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Ugh, this shit again. Like it's like, blah. It's like a full thing that I feel. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And the other thing that I've come to learn, this is why it was like a huge thing, like, "Oh my God, you're overextended," is that it is also a si...
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[S1] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. [S2] ... something that needs updating, leveling up, some communication pattern that's broken. Like it's something outdated that needs leveling up. [S1] Yeah. [S2] And it, when I think about it that way, Dr. Neha, I, I, I don't make it personal like an attack. I'm able to go, "Oh, I'm really resent...
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[S1] And I still remember it. It was June 17th, 2004. I walked into the hospital. I'm, I'm, you know, seeing my 18 patients. Last day on service, I get to sign everybody off. Somebody calls in sick. What do I say? They say, "Can you take the Alpha Pager?" Somebody's sick today. The Alpha Pager means you also take all i...
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[S1] Problems and how I solve them or wh- how do I get to the root of them, I realize that oftentimes it has something to do with me, it has something to do with we, it has something to do with world. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So the environment of the hospital in general being understaffed,
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[S1] What's someone else's part in this? What's the environment? What's the role of the environment and the situation that we were in? So I call it "me, we world," because it reminds me that I need to expand my perspective to understand what's happening. [S2] That is incredibly helpful. I also love that another medical...
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[S1] As a way to feel loved and needed and all this stuff. And I know tons of our listeners will resonate with this regardless of whether you work or not. [S2] Yeah. [S1] That you just take it all on. You're the one in the family taking care of Mom and Dad. You're the one that's always doing this. You're the one that's...
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[S1] that this kind of stopping and going, okay, what's my part in this? What's the, uh, what is my role to play in this? What is the role of the environment in this? Can you explain this in the context of you've got a, you've got aging parents- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... and siblings- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... and one person feels...
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[S1] And I say, "Well, that is not good enough. I need to go over this minute." Sometimes it's true that things are urgent and I need to go over this minute. But if my answer every time is, "No, I need to take care of it right now because I need to be the good girl, because I need to be the good daughter, because I wan...
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[S1] ... having to look in the mirror and see those moments where you can't deal with discomfort in your body. [S2] Yep. [S1] You can't deal with the disappointment that it's not going a certain way. [S2] Yep. [S1] Or that there's some e- uneasiness that you feel. But what if- [S2] That's what it is. [S1] What if nobod...
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[S1] No. It's just easier to give in. It's just easier to make the world around me okay and work another weekend and take on that thing that isn't my responsibility to take in, that it actually bubbles to the surface as physical illness, stress, burnout, anxiety, depression, all that stuff. Is that what you're saying? ...
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[S1] And I'm telling you, Mel, I got angry. I got sad, and I almost got emboldened. [S2] Right. [S1] And then we give them some cocktail of medications, antidepressant, anti-anxiety, or sleep medication, to help their physiology get back in sync. Now, these things are good to do when somebody is about to fall over the ...
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[S1] But I want to make sure the person listening really gets the takeaway, which is the root cause of 80% of the diseases and the health issues that people have can be traced back to the stress in their life. And you are also saying that the majority of the stress that you have control over- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... and ...
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[S1] even deeper, to an inability, individually, for you to tolerate unease in your body, discomfort, or disappointment. And that- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... that is what is triggering people's inability to effectively communicate with themselves or other people. That is what turns us into people pleasers. That is what turns ...
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[S1] ... contributing to you getting sick and unhealthy and feeling anxious and stressed and that there is a solution. So tell us these five questions that you ask the people that you work with, Dr. Neha. [S2] The five, I call it the awareness prescription. [S1] Okay. [S2] And so the night before their discharge, I wou...
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[S1] Question number four, what else in your life needs to be healed? [S2] Ooh, that's the doozy. [S1] And question number five, if you spoke from the heart, what would you say to me? And so, every patient knew why they were, what was at the root of their stress. They knew why they were sick. They knew what they needed...
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[S1] ... that encompassed 100, it was, it encompassed 97 meta reviews of more than a thousand randomized controlled trials in vi- involving over 125,000 participants, where they concluded that exercise is one and a half times more effective for most people in treating depression and anxiety than medication and therapy....
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[S1] Is this something that might be ongoing, that we need to talk about and, uh, arrange so that, you know, we, we need to have a discussion on this? I wasn't aware of this as part of what we were going to be doing. And then when I got into that discussion, I would be saying, "How long is this for?" I w- I would be......
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[S1] What I, what I want to thank you for is that I think that when the world talks about people-pleasing, we immediately go to boundaries. And what you're talking about is the medical and physiological fact- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... that people-pleasing is triggered, the root cause, by an inability to tolerate discomfort a...
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[S1] Deep and profound, uh, wisdom on this topic that I thought was gonna literally be more surface level. I cannot thank you enough for saying hello when we met at the Today Show, and thank you, thank you, thank you for being here. [S2] God, you are so welcome. [S1] This is one of those episodes that it's so much more...
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[S1] ... that they really meant that, you know? I mean, but y- you just know they've taken together as a whole, collectively, it's just, y- you feel like you're going crazy. [S2] Can you give us an example? Give us an example, 'cause you actually dealt with one, 'cause I'm sitting here trying to rack my brain. Okay. [S...
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[S1] I am so concerned about Johnny and his drinking. I'm just so concerned about him. So they couch their concern in, you know, they're smearing in terms of concern. [S2] Hmm. [S1] Just so worried. Hmm. I'm so worried about him. Hmm.
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[S1] ... an email chain that, you know, you get left off of, and all of a sudden you're not in a meeting that you were, that you should have been on. And, uh, you know, there they are on, on a important meeting for work. And, you know, clients are like, "Oh, how come you weren't on that meeting?" And you're like, "Well...
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[S1] That's kind of scary. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] But let's keep going. And here's where I want our conversation to go next. One thing that changed my life forever when it comes to narcissism is understanding the origin of narcissism in somebody. Because we throw the word around and you may believe that somebody just choos...
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[S1] And what does that mean? [S2] Yes. [S1] That means that while their prefrontal cortex, or their thinking part of the brain, is like fully functioning, their emotional part of the brain is lagging. That's why somebody who has a narcissistic personality has so little emotional control.
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[S1] This is why they're so unpredictable. This is why they're immature. This is why they can say such mean things and be like, "I never said that." It has to do with the delay in the emotional development while the thinking part of the brain is proceeding. And this is really important for you to understand because thi...
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[S1] negotiating with an eight-year-old because you're not dealing with a fully functioning, rational human being with fully developed emotional centers in the brain and the ability to regulate themselves or even understand what they're doing. Is, is that correct? [S2] Yes. And I would even say an eight-year-old who's ...
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[S1] You know, that, that you actually have more value than they do. The next step is knowing that once you stand in your authentic power, that they can't touch you because they, they prey upon people who don't have that. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] They prey upon people who have leaky boundaries. They p- prey upon people who ar...
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[S1] ... celebrities. It could be money. It could be a new girlfriend. It could be a judge in the courtroom. It could be their employers. It could be their employees. It could be a new wife. [S2] Could it be the outfit they're wearing? [S1] Could be an outfit they're wearing. [S2] The car they're driving? You know, the...
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[S1] ... the car they're driving, you know, the- [S2] It could be an outfit they're wearing. It could be the, the, the label of the outfit. It could be the, you know, what bank they're banking with. But it's all wrapped up in image. It's all wrapped up in the, what I call the window dressing of the world. [S1] Okay. [S...
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[S1] ... that insult other people, manipulate other people, is this concept of triangulation. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Where they are gossiping and they are building bonds by trashing other people. [S2] Yes. [S1] They have a person in the corner of the room at a party who's gossiping about everybody else. [S2] Yes. [S1] To crea...
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[S1] I, that, that was my first introduction to narcissism, about five years ago. I'm like, "Wait, that's what a narcissist does? Oh, yeah, that's the number one sign that somebody has this as a personality type." [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And it was mind-blowing because I didn't realize that that becomes something that somebo...
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[S1] ... swoop in. If they look for vulnerabilities that way as well. But, you know, it's, it's, it's sweep you off your feet. Grand gestures, massive, huge, grand gestures like that a lot of times. So, like, that's the kind of thing you see at the beginning. Big- [S2] Got it. [S1] ... things lock you in. [S2] Got it.
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[S1] After visualizing the tantrum and asking myself, "Well, what do I want right now?" And if I don't want to deal with this, it's a yes or a no, or silence. And if I do want to deal with it, it's a, it's exactly what you're talking about in terms of thinking about, okay, well, there's going to be a supply here. What ...
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[S1] You're giving my heart palpitations because I really felt like I was in the presence of this particular person that does this to me all the time. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So what do you think the biggest myth is about- [S2] Oh. [S1] ... narcissism or negotiating with narcissists? [S2] 100%, it is that narcissists just wa...
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[S1] Because- [S2] So- [S1] Yeah, because they do want to win, but they also want to continue to manipulate you and see you squirm. And so the problem, the reason why people have trouble negotiating with narcissists and they can't ever get out of these things is because
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[S1] And I bet you saw, over and over again, being an attorney for 20 years, representing people particularly in high net worth divorces, that divorces go on for years and years and years- [S2] Years. [S1] ... with narcissists because they, by keeping the divorce and the arguing and all that crap alive, they're getting...
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[S1] And I didn't know what was going on as a lawyer. I had no idea. I had a, a guy, the divorce lasted five years. He told me, "I'd rather pay you than her." [S2] Yes. I, I think a lot of people say that. [S1] And I remember saying to him, "You don't need to put my kid through college," 'cause I was, like, sick of him...
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[S1] I said, "What?" [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Because, you know why? Because he wanted the chance to be able to continue to screw with her- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... every single month, not pay her, keep her on a string, do the whole thing, right? She wanted to be done.
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[S1] Yeah. [S2] ... that you coach people to use to disarm a narcissist and observe the tantrum, acknowledge it, but not let it hit you. Can you share a bunch of those phrases that you coach people to use? [S1] Yes. You can say things like, "I agree with you. I, I agree with you that we're not going to agree. I agree w...
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[S1] I love these phrases. I understand that's how you feel. Your approach is not working for me. Let's discuss this when you're less emotional or angry. Do you have any coaching for the fact that I think most people are afraid to say that because they're then going to invite narcissistic rage. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So whe...
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[S1] and to not allow yourself to be disrespected. I understand that's how you feel. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And then the person raises the stakes and starts raging at you. What would you advise somebody to do that is just starting to practice these boundaries and create boundaries and not run away from the situation?
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[S1] If they feel like they are going to be in harm's way in some way, then they really may need to remove themselves from this same physical space. [S2] Okay. [S1] You know, there's a saying that says that, you know, if, if you don't want to be a doormat anymore, get up off the floor. And, you know, you,
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[S1] Rebecca, I just have to say, I love the swagger. [S2] Well, you can, 'cause what I teach works. [S1] Because that makes me believe you. And you're referring to your SLAY method. And SLAY is a four-part framework that you follow in the courtroom and in life for dealing with, negotiating with, and winning against a ...
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[S1] How do you figure that out? Because, you know, to your point, you always talk about these three C's, that you can't change them, you can't control them, and you can't, what's the other one? [S2] You can't cause it, control it, or cure it. [S1] That's right. You can't cause this, you can't cure it, and you can't co...
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[S1] I still think even if it's your mother or father, you can create a more specific vision around what that relationship should look like for you. So- [S2] I don't want to be triggered all the time. I don't want her or his BS to trigger me or make me feel manipulated. [S1] Right. Or even put that in positive terms. L...
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[S1] ... more specific like that because- [S2] I love that. [S1] Yeah. I th- I think that will be because you, you get what you envision in life, right? So- [S2] I love that.
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[S1] That's a bit, that's a very common one that we, that I noticed, is that people dealing with exes and feeling completely enmeshed and triggered and wanting to be able to feel powerful and unaffected anytime I see them. [S2] Right. Yeah. [S1] Is that positive?
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[S1] No, I think it- [S2] Okay. [S1] I love you, Rebecca. [S2] Help us. [S1] I think it should be, I want to be able to walk into a school function and sit next to them and be able to discuss our child together and,
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[S1] Or, you know, you, there are times when you could potentially, what I, what I call, you know, fluff for favor, vomit later, you know, so where you're- [S2] [LAUGHS] Fluff for favor, vomit later? [S1] Yes, where you sort of fluff up their ego in order to get something, you know, give, give them something they want ...
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[S1] I do this all the time with someone in my life, actually. [S2] Yes. [S1] But I'm realizing I, I have, I have really developed this strategy. I do deploy a strategy. I'm realizing as you're talking, to feed a particular person's ego, that they are getting their way, that they are the most important person in the ro...
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[S1] And what we're going to do today is we're going to hear from the amazing Dr. Amy Shah. What are we going to do about this? So please help me welcome Dr. Amy Shah back to the Mel Robbins podcast. [S2] So grateful to be here with you, Mel. [S1] Can we just start with what the heck is bloating? [S2] Bloating is so ma...
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[S1] But everybody thinks it's just from gas. Yes, it is from gas, but it can also be from your hormones. It can be like water retention. Um, it can be from medications causing discomfort. It can be just from being constipated. You know, we all go through that where we're bloated, not 'cause there's gas, but there's ac...
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[S1] And there's so many other causes of bloating. So it's not just you ate too much or you ate too many Brussels sprouts or broccoli, which we can talk about. It's also, um, it can be from so many other things. [S2] Well, you said a big word just a minute ago. You said distended. [S1] Yeah. [S2] That bloating is when ...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_m4-dialogue_0966851
[S1] I've got something going on where from the inside out, it's almost like I feel like somebody has blown a balloon up inside of me, full of something. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I know this might sound like an insensitive question, but I have to ask this. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] How, how do you know if you're bloated? [S2] Yeah. [S...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_m4-dialogue_0966852
[S1] Um, you're burping a lot. Um, obviously farting- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... because farting and bloating go really hand-in-hand. You're constipated. Um, that's a good sign. That's-
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_m4-dialogue_0966853
[S1] and, or a sign that my body is, uh- [S2] Inflamed. [S1] Inflamed. Um, and then the other thing I'll tell you is just a quick story because it might help you listening to start to discern what you may be dealing with. I'd say about six years ago when our daughter Kendall was in high school, she always was a big bur...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_m4-dialogue_0966854
[S1] ... loud kind of, "Brr," kind of burps. And she was such a little thing that it was so shocking how loud these burps were. And we, and it was almost like a joke in her face, like, "Kendall." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] And then she started to say, Dr. Shaw, she would go, "I feel so fat." She was not using the B word. She w...
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[S1] All of the good bacteria in her gut. And that what was happening is the food would go down her mouth and down her esophagus and down into the stomach and all of a sudden it would hit her stomach and because she had literally no good gut bacteria, the food sat and rotted. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so the burping was fr...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_m4-dialogue_0966856
[S1] Because I can't lose seven pounds in five days, right? Like, this is not just a norm. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So maybe what we should talk about, since you're basically saying when you're bloated, your gut bacteria is mad at you. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Right? I mean, that's kind of the, is that the basic thing that's going-
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[S1] going on here? [S2] It, it is the basic thing that's going on. The, that gut hormone immune connection, I mean, that is when that's off balance, you get all these symptoms. People think, "Oh my God, it's hormone bloating," or, "Oh my God, it's, um, coming from something else," but really it's because your gut bact...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_m4-dialogue_0966858
[S1] Okay. [S2] Like what foods actually could bloat you? [S1] Okay. Well, first of all, I want to give you the biggest tip, just to take a step back. The biggest tip when you're feeling bloated or distended is don't wear those red pants with the button on them. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Like, I, I can't...
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[S1] ... tell you how many times I've traveled and, you know, you get bloated because of, um, the change in the air pressure. You're not, um, you're not able to go to the bathroom for a couple of days. It's like all of these things. Um, you need stretchy pants for your tra- You need to swap those red pants out for some...
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[S1] Okay, first of all, ladies and gentlemen, let's give a round of applause for Triple Bird certified Dr. Amy Shaw, who just told us all, soft pants, people. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Soft pants. You're traveling, you're feeling bloated, let's get rid of the zippers and the buttons, soft pants. So I got it, I'm taking it aw...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_m4-dialogue_0966861
[S1] Yeah. From the minute you take food in, right? You're chewing your food, the bloating can start to happen there. You know, you all, we all know with gum, with, um, sparkling drinks, these are foods that can cause bloating because you're swallowing a lot of air, um- [S2] Wait, what? [S1] ... from the time you put i...
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[S1] Bloating? [S2] Yeah. Did you not know this? [S1] No. [S2] So- [S1] Sparkling beverages causes bloating? [S2] Yeah. [S1] What? [S2] I, I didn't, I didn't, so yeah, you need to know this. This is why I to, I'm telling you, this is the reset. So sugar-free gum, which is all gum now, right? You can't really get gum
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_m4-dialogue_0966863
[S1] It's not just a particular food, it's just that you're eating food too fast, right? And then you have foods like the foods that you consider super healthy. Brussels sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage. And Mel, you're being a great student. You're like, "I want to eat all the fiber in one day." [S2] Yeah. [S1]...
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[S1] Okay. Can we just stop on that la- I have so many questions. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Um, I, I, I, I'm trying not to go all over the place 'cause now you've sparked my interest because all those things you ticked off-
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[S1] I, if I hear you correctly, you're basically saying if you're already bloated and you throw that into your system, you're going to literally inflate the balloon even more. [S2] Yes. [S1] However, when you debloat and you get your gut back into balance so that your gut bacteria aren't mad at you anymore, introducin...
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[S1] that's right. So if you're at a party and there's this like raw, cruciferous vegetable plate, I don't know if you've ever seen like, I don't know how why people- [S2] What's cruciferous? What is that? [S1] Those are, those are the fam- that's the family that we're talking about. The cauliflowers, the broccoli, um,...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p122_m4-dialogue_0966867
[S1] ... for for sisters. [S2] ... for for siblings. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] ... family. And they have these amazing sulfur compounds, um, that are so good for, like, cancer reduction and inflammation reduction. So they're like powerhouse vegetables. [S1] Okay. [S2] Um, but often at a party, they're like on a tray, like raw...
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[S1] Okay. And then I want to tell you another one- [S2] Okay. [S1] ... that will do the same thing. So say you're at a party and you wake up the next day and you're like, "Oh, I feel so bloated. I feel hungover," or whatever, "I feel bad." And you take a whole bunch of ibuprofen or aspirin, right? That is going to mak...
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[S1] Uh, gluten is definitely one of them. I mean, we all know there's, uh, so many people out there who feel bloated when, after pizza and bread and pasta. And sometimes it's not necessarily a gluten, like you can have a sourdough bread and be okay, but you have, you know, pizza and you're not, so it's not necessarily...
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[S1] That means that when you eat dairy foods, um, you get bloated because your body can't break down the lactose sugar. [S2] Oh. [S1] Um, I don't know, do you, are you one of those people? So, well, everybody's different, right? [S2] I have no idea. [S1] So 68% of the world population, it, um, can't digest a glass of ...
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[S1] related. I mean, we have study after study after study saying like, okay, take some fiber and all of a sudden people get improved cravings and mood and, you know, uh, eat some fermented food and all of a sudden they feel better. So there's a huge connection with mood and feelings of anxiety. [S2] So, Dr. Shah, wha...
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[S1] It was gluten and dairy and sugar. And for a lot of people it is all three. Uh, but for some people it's just one of the two. So for some people it's all three, some... So you have to do a food elimination diet. Did you know, Mel, that food sensitivity testing is not validated. [S2] No. [S1] And all those tests th...
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[S1] Better than a food elimination diet for checking for your food sensitivities, the foods that are causing you to bloat. [S2] Let me see if I'm following you. Because I was about to ask you, how would you know- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... if you're lactose intolerant? How would you know if you are sensitive to gluten? Becau...
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[S1] So I don't know. I, I'm just, I'm ingesting this stuff. I don't burp afterwards, I don't fart afterwards that I know of, but I, like, so am I bloated by it? I don't know. So are you saying that the only way to determine whether or not you are getting bloated or triggered by certain foods is to eliminate them from ...
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[S1] the sensitive food that you are eating. So you're only gonna know if you're lactose intolerant or if you're not tolerant to dairy if you stop eating it and then you add it back and see what happens to you. That's like the gold standard for checking which foods that trigger you. So there's certain foods that trigge...
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[S1] So, so, you know, those vegetables that I was talking to you about, the raw vegetables? [S2] Yes. Yes. [S1] So they're made up of insoluble fiber. Um, they have so- [S2] Okay. [S1] Like they're soluble fiber. So for example, um, things like baby spinach that's cooked really well, right? That has a lot of, like, so...
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[S1] And it's really hard for the body to digest and it takes a lot of work. It's like marathon training. Like eventually you'll get there, but you don't want to start with huge amounts in the beginning. So, um, and then, you know, alcohol. Let's talk about- [S2] Oh, do we have to? [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Come on. This is c...
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[S1] ... is that we're eating late at night and we're drinking alcohol late at night. So not only does alcohol cause bloating, it also is usually consumed later in the evening, closer to bedtime for a lot of us. Um, now, there are people who have it earlier in the day, and I would say if you are gonna have alcohol arou...
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[S1] 'Cause you start eating the second you wake up and you eat until you go to bed. And I've never heard anybody talk about the fact that we're eating for that long of a period of time. And I've noticed that whenever we talk about intermittent fasting or fasting for a 12 hour window as a health and digestion and a gut...
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[S1] You know, I'm just laughing 'cause I'm sitting here going... [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] It's not like we call sleep intermittent wakefulness. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You know, it's like, it makes a lot of sense that your medical recommendation based on your expertise is that your gut needs 12 hours of not having to digest food in...
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[S1] Every morning I wake up and I'm like, okay, fasting is number one. Have I fasted for 12 hours? If I have it, I'm not gonna have my first meal yet. Okay? Because I might've stopped on some days later, 7:30- [S2] Right. [S1] ... and I might say, I wake up at six and I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna eat yet. I'm actuall...
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[S1] Fitness for me in the more, for the morning routine is anything, anything. So total in the day, I want to get about 30 minutes. You want to get 30 minutes of sunlight, of, uh, movement. So the best way to get this done and over with and checked off is go for a 30 minute walk and you're done. [S2] Yep. [S1] Um, and...
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[S1] Because exercise makes- [S2] I did not know that. [S1] [LAUGHS] Exercise. [S2] I didn't know that. Like, 'cause I was just about to ask you. [S1] Yeah. [S2] How does taking a walk for 30 minutes outside stop bloating and help my gut bacteria be happy? How does that help?
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