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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p43_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p43_m4-dialogue_0009157
[S1] No, not at all. Like, this woman was scrappy. Let me tell you another story of someone who didn't have a lot of money. [S2] Okay. [S1] Because I know some people- [S2] 'Cause most people don't have a lot of money. [S1] Right. [S2] Like, most people are paycheck to paycheck. Most people are like, "That sounds great...
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[S1] What are you talking about? [S2] Yeah. Okay. Let me give you a better one. So this one is from my student, Tara, and she was an accountant for 15 years in a very small town. And she's a single mom, and she said, "I need a raise, and I'm not making enough money." She went to the company and said, "I'd like a raise....
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[S1] Yes. [S2] Like you mean those, those round things- [S1] Yes. [S2] ... that we hang on our doors? [S1] Yes. She makes beautiful- [S2] Okay, so she's really good at Reese. So I wanna go back to something. Remember how Amy said you gotta go through the sweet spot exercise. By the way, tons of resources linked all in ...
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[S1] who has been told by people forever that she does a good job making wreaths. [S2] Yes. [S1] I know what you're thinking, everybody. You're thinking, "Mel, I have a mortgage to pay." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] "Mel, I have student debt. Mel, I am not starting a fucking business making wreaths because I will not be able to ...
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[S1] But what you're capable of right now is shooting down every single idea. You're putting all your energy into coming up with reasons for why not, why it's stupid, why you can't. What if you put half the amount of energy into why the fuck not? [S2] Yeah. [S1] Why not make Reese?
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[S1] into creating a little bit of a side hustle, tasting a little bit of freedom. [S2] Yes. [S1] Saying yes, in a little way. Why not? [S2] Just a starter idea. [S1] Just a- that's all she had. [S2] You just need a starter. [S1] That's all she had. [S2] Yes. So she wasn't saying, "I'm gonna quit my job tomorrow 'cause...
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[S1] That's pretty good. [S2] Right? So- [S1] That's like, take the kids to Disney money. [S2] Exactly. [S1] That's pay the bills money. [S2] So she's, like, feeling a little bit. That's another thing. You start to feel a little confident when you start to take some action and get some clarity, like, "This is actually ...
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[S1] ... that's what I want to know. And that's where it started to click for her. Her starter idea was not going to pay the bills. However, she took action, got some clarity, started to listen to what people were saying, and they said, "Teach us how you're doing that." So she created a little mini course teaching othe...
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p43_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p43_m4-dialogue_0009165
[S1] And it taps into this power and resource, resourcefulness and moxie that is inside you. [S2] Yes. [S1] Because when you start feeling that, you'll start thinking even bigger. And so, you know, I, I'm thinking about this because, and I'm gonna offer up an example, because it literally could be anything. I think abo...
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[S1] I'll tell you how. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] He saw one video, one video. He Googled how to make money online. One video of this business where you advertise a service of picking up people's stuff, like couches they don't want, and then you list it for sale on Facebook marketplace, and you deliver it to somebody else. [S...
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[S1] ... this? [S2] Yes. I have a great story. One of my favorite students, her name is Anne, and Anne worked in corporate at Gap and Old Navy. She was in her 50s at the time and she got laid off, which is, tends to be a theme we're hearing a lot. So she's laid off and she thinks, "Okay, well, I've been in this busines...
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[S1] looking over her and all of her experience that she had. And so one day her husband said, "You've got all of these different crafts up in our attic. You love to do these. Why don't you just play around there for a while? See if it sparks anything." And so she didn't have any other option at the time, so she starte...
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[S1] own doodles and different graphics on, let's say, through a software, and turning those drawings of yours into wallpaper, into wrapping paper- [S2] What? [S1] ... into mugs, into journals. [S2] This is a business? [S1] Yes. [S2] Okay. [S1] And so she did this really well, and yet again, people started to say, "How...
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[S1] So she did it well. Other people wanted to know how she did it, so she started to teach them how she did it. Now, this woman went from literally not getting anyone that wanted to hire her, not even getting interviews- [S2] Wow. [S1] ... to doing launches of this, this new program she created, $100,000 launches, ov...
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[S1] ... Amy. [S2] Yes. She's in her 60s. Didn't know how to run a business, didn't know how to do technology, didn't know how to put up a website, didn't know how to do a webinar. She knew none of it. But what she did know is she wanted a different kind of life, and she got honest with herself. "I don't want to be beg...
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[S1] Ooh, I love that watch me. [S2] And that's what I want. Yeah. [S1] Watch me. Watch me do this damn thing. I, I, I cannot wait to send this episode to my kids. Can you tell me about someone on the younger side- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... that, um, went from nothing
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[S1] ... telling themselves, "No skills, too young, I can't do this, miss the boat, there's already too many people doing fitness online," or whatever the hell it is that you wanna do. [S2] Yeah. [S1] "Too many interior designers, no room for me." Tell me about somebody on the, on the younger end of the scale. [S2] I w...
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[S1] Yes. The first thought is, "There's no room for me." [S2] Yes. [S1] I can't do that. It's already been done. First of all, there's over 8 billion people in this world. There's definitely an audience you can reach. But the second thing is, if it's being done and it's being done well, that means there's money to be ...
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[S1] Okay. Did you hear that, everybody? [S2] It's important. [S1] It's really important because somebody else doing this is a validation that there is a business and money, and more importantly, people want this. [S2] Yes. [S1] They want this in their lives. And so I wanna also say something. Um, there are 8 billion p...
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[S1] ... the expert that my kids like. Like, let's just take online exercise classes. [S2] Yes. [S1] I feel demoralized when I'm looking at a 28-year-old's rear end as she's doing, like, the donkey kicks and the hydrate thing. [S2] Amen, sister. [S1] And I'm like, "She, like, hasn't had kids yet. I, I'm in menopause. I...
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[S1] In that market, but I want somebody that I feel represents me. [S2] Yes. [S1] And so you have a unique take on things. The 60-year-old woman that you talked about that launched her first online course, you know how empowering it is to see somebody teach you when you're in your 40s or 50s and they're older than you...
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[S1] ... to that wake up call inside him. There's something more I could be doing. I could be reaching more kids. He figured out how to create an online course. [S2] Yes. [S1] And he launched it before COVID. So all of a sudden COVID hits and he's done this thing simply as a side hustle to an existing business, a way t...
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[S1] And he was positioned for COVID. And now he does nothing but virtual lessons with students all over the world. Like, and in person, in Boston, but, I mean, it just changed his life. Why? It's not because he's smarter than you. It's not because he has more skills than you. It's because he did one thing you're not d...
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[S1] Okay, so first of all, notice in that question she said, "I'm qualified." [S2] Yes. [S1] And then she just brushed right over it. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That's the thing. And then she said, "How do I find the confidence?" You don't. It does not start with confidence. You have to tap into courage first. And this is a mi...
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[S1] Okay, so you've got to tap into courage. So please explain what that means- [S2] Okay. [S1] ... to Lou or anybody listening who's like, "Okay, I got my idea. I got the wreaths, I got the streaming online, I got the coaching business. Now, I'm doubting myself."
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[S1] Yes. I'm looking for confidence everywhere. Confidence comes from a proven track record of something you want to do. You look and think, "Oh, I've done this, so I can keep going." You've never done this. She doesn't want to do what she did in her nine-to-five job. She wants to start something new. That's uncharted...
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[S1] Just whack self-doubt away. [S2] Whack it. [S1] 'Cause what you're saying is, "All right, I don't know how to do this. I've never done this before. I'm not feeling that confident." Imposter syndrome is kinda coming up. I have the courage to try. [S2] Yes. [S1] I have the courage to keep going. I can tap into this ...
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[S1] I'm going to do it. [S2] I'm going to do it. [S1] Exactly. And so that part is so important. We're not going to chase confidence anymore. The other thing is, when I left my 9-5 job, I got home, my first day on the job, I'm in my kitchen at my kitchen table, kind of typing away, and freaked out, thinking, "What did...
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[S1] And I said, "I'm so afraid of what my old coworkers are gonna think about me doing this." They're gonna see these videos where I'm not good on video yet, so I look like a mess, and they're gonna think, "Who is she? She looks like a fool." [S2] Who does she think she is? [S1] Who does she think she is? She doesn't ...
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[S1] Lou, if you wouldn't trade your life with them- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... why the fuck would you listen to their advice? [S2] Yes. [S1] That's number one. Uh, because people who have not done what you wanna do have no clue what it takes to get there. So stop looking in the rear view mirror. You're not heading in that dir...
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[S1] Your social media is not for your friends. [S2] Mm. Yes, that's good. [S1] If you could get this concept into your head, your social media is not for your friends. Your social media is for you and your dreams and your self-expression, and it's meant to put something out in the world intentionally so that people wh...
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[S1] is meant to be something, like a beacon that draws in the kind of people that are interested in this. And when you can get clear, it's not for your fucking ex-coworkers, it's not for your relatives, it's not for your family, it is not for your friends. I think most of my long-term friends do not follow me because ...
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[S1] I'm not putting it out there for anybody else but the people who find value in it. And when you can wrap that around your brain, it'll change your frickin life. [S2] I mean, that's a great example of unbossing. You have the courage to put out content that you know is no longer for your friends to see your kids or ...
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[S1] Amen. [S2] No. [S1] We often say that about Beyonce. Do you think Beyonce or Oprah are sitting there thinking, "I don't know if I can do this. What are people gonna think about me if I put it out there?" They're not thinking that way.
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[S1] And now she has the world's, uh- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... most Grammys of any recording artist ever to fucking prove that if you just find the courage. Forget about confidence, it'll come later. Find the courage to try. Make the damn reads. [S2] Yes. [S1] Say you're gonna do the online exercise thing. Say you're gonna f...
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[S1] Ooh, I love this question. Congratulations, Carrie. I know it's scary, but you're going to be just fine. Can you walk Carrie and everyone listening through your sweet spot exercise? [S2] Absolutely. [S1] She's just been laid off, no idea where to start. How do you figure out what direction to move in? [S2] So
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[S1] ... marathon. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so what you did is for three months you put together a plan to figure out how am I going to run an entire marathon from couch to marathon in three months. You put together a plan and you freaking did it. That's what you can sell. Other people want to know how you did it. And the...
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[S1] Yes. Number two is, think about who you might want as a customer. And the reason why this is important is you want to start thinking about maybe some things you're struggling with. Mel said it earlier, the easiest way to find who your customer might be is, who were you five years ago, and how can you help them get...
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[S1] money. What books are being sold on the topic you want? Um, are there courses being sold? Uh, a one-on-one coaching? Meaning, will people spend money to get what you're going to teach them or what you're going to sell? So it's important to do a little market research. [S2] So you want to look for people who are do...
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[S1] ... him well. So he thought, "Well, I'm gonna start making some videos. I'm gonna start posting on social. I'm gonna show people what I can do with these dogs." And what happened was, this is the scrappy part, in his local neighborhood, people started to hire him one-on-one. "Teach my dogs. Come get my dogs. Teach...
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[S1] ... confidence in you to do more and more and more. See, it doesn't begin with $1,000,000. It begins with $100 or $1,000. And you're not gonna make that $100 or that $1,000 if you're not willing to have the wake-up call. [S2] Yes. [S1] And then you're not willing to lean toward it, and you're not willing to say to...
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[S1] ask your friends and family. [S2] Ooh. [S1] I want you to send a text out to 10 people today and say, "If I were ever going to go out on my own and do my own thing, what am I good at? What do you think I should start?" Because your family and friends will have lots of ideas for you. So that's one thing you could d...
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[S1] You have, you, you've been out there on TikTok saying, "No one's coming to save you." [S2] Yes. [S1] It's actually a really, um, popular TikTok that everyone is using. Like, "No one's coming to save you." You're a TikTok sensation, for the record. And that is very true right now as well. Meaning you don't need any...
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[S1] It's two weeks notice. We've linked to it in the contents. And also, check out some of the free resources. [S2] Yes. [S1] We have linked to some of the videos that she has that are free, that you can watch, that are gonna walk you through some of the next right steps. And, you know, we're here to support you. But ...
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[S1] You can change your life any moment you decide to. It's never too late, you're never too early, for those of you who are just graduating. Never too early to take control and to pivot and to do something entirely different just because you want to. Amy Porterfield. [S2] Thank you, my friend. So happy to be here. [S...
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[S1] and the reason why you need to put yourself first in certain circumstances, then you gotta show up and hold up your end of the bargain and make room for their feelings of disappointment and confusion and sadness. And just know that when somebody is given the space to process it or to make a joke or say something s...
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[S1] I, I wish I could see you right now because I would imagine that you are feeling all kinds of things after hearing that story. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] So am I. So let's take a break real quick and hear a word from our sponsors. I might call my father on the break. I'm not gonna lie about this. [LAUGHS] And when we come...
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[S1] What you're experiencing and what I'm experiencing, every single moment, when I walk past that room, I see the pool table, I know I'm like, "God, I would love to just disassemble that." [S2] [GASPS] [S1] But I can't, I can't. Like, I can't do that to my dad. He's such an awesome dude. It is such an amazing gift. W...
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[S1] Yeah, I mean, you're a fast eater. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] So that was, that was number one. And I felt like when you asked me and you said, "You, you mind if I go upstairs?" I felt like, thank God, because I would not want her to sit and watch me in my llama eating habits, super slow and just savoring every bite. I wo...
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[S1] clean, and so is Melinda's. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And you still had 20 minutes to go. What were you feeling? [S2] Well, I, I'm often in this situation. I felt like I know what's gonna happen next. They're gonna wanna leave. And I'm, and I'm happy to do that. I felt, I felt really happy for you to get what you needed, an...
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[S1] I can't wait for this conversation. So let's go. Oh, Lewis, I am so excited you're here. [S2] Thank you for having me. [S1] Of course. It's about time, since you've had me on your podcast four times. [S2] Yeah, yeah. [S1] I've been dying to interview you. [S2] I'm so grateful. Thank you very much. [S1] What do you...
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[S1] ... you have- [S2] Whoever's listening, I want them to be, to be inspired and impacted in a positive way to, to take action in whatever it is in their life that they need support with. And so that's my intention. Support the people. They, the people listen, they love you more. That's what I want out of this. So th...
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[S1] Damn it, Lewis. That was a mic drop moment. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] And I haven't even asked you a, a, a, so, so first of all, I gotta give everybody a takeaway 'cause, did you hear that? Like we're talking about your, we're talking about everything. Your life story, like so much wisdom that you have to give to the wor...
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[S1] on his book and how it would help you, but to actually shine the light back on me. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And to have me be successful.
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[S1] Awesome. Okay. Well, my intention- [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] My intention, 'cause I always have, like, a very specific intention with every show, was to shine the brightest light I possibly could on you. Because you have spent so much of your success and time and energy lifting other people up. And you remind me, in many...
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[S1] One of the things that I love about you is you're this big, masculine, super successful, professional athlete, dude. You are also becoming a professional, like, tango dancer. [S2] Salsa, yeah, yeah. [S1] Salsa, okay, tango, salsa. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Yeah, I knew it was, like, ended in a, in a vowel. [S2] Latin, La...
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[S1] softness, strength, and vulnerability to you. And you often say a lot without saying much. [S2] Mm-hmm. Thanks. Appreciate it. [S1] You see that, guys? He's just staring at me right now with this piercing eyes, like I am saying a lot at you, Mal. [S2] I know.
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[S1] So when other kids were playing or having fun, or I'd have to do a short lunch break and then go right into reading class. 'Cause in eighth grade, I had a second grade reading level. So I just- [S2] Wait, hold on. In eighth grade? [S1] Eighth grade, they started testing me with everything. I went to a new school, ...
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[S1] So I would always be in the bottom four. And a lot of times I cheated my way through quizzes and tests and homework to just pass, to stay like not in the bottom one, right? [S2] Yeah. [S1] And so we would get the grade cards, I don't know, every semester or whenever it was, every quarter, and I'd always see in the...
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[S1] academically. And so when they would ask to speak aloud, I just would always try to skip or like go to the restroom and I knew that, that it was gonna come to me. I'd try to get out of actually speaking in front of people. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] 'Cause I always thought people were making fun of me or laughing at me. An...
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[S1] And so often people would say, "You're like the most interesting guy here," and I never said anything except for ask questions and would follow up. And I think when, when, when you really are interested in other people, you become more interesting. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so I've, I kinda took that and ran with it f...
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[S1] And, and what, it's one of the reasons why I love your story. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because it's not like you were this heavy hitter in business, sold your company, and now you're gonna go out and tell everybody the secrets. You had to figure out what greatness meant for you, and you had to figure out how to be succes...
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[S1] This was, uh, September, 2007. I'd just had surgery on my wrist, so you can kinda see the scar here still. And they took a bone out of my hip, put it into my wrist. So I was in a cast from my shoulder to my fingers. I couldn't use my thumbs, kinda locked in this position for- [S2] Locked in like a cactus position?...
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[S1] In the cactus? [S2] You know the, the, the movie Rookie of the Year? This, like, baseball kid player who has a broken arm and then gets the cast off and it's, like, super strength. It was kinda in this position, like an L shape like this. Um, I could move it down. [S1] So now, can I ask you a question? [S2] Yeah. ...
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[S1] And so there was this kind of big bulky thing here. And it also just smells really bad. You know, I don't know if you've ever- [S2] 'Cause it's lifting your armpit up. I didn't- [S1] It just smells really bad and it just gets dirty under there and you're sweaty and it's, it's just not nice. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And so,...
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[S1] During that time, it's, uh, that's the end of August, so September, um, November, December, I'm on my sister's couch right before Christmas, 2007, going into 2008. And I'm, I'm in denial at this time, 'cause I'm thinking my body's gonna heal, I'm gonna go back and play football, like this thing's gonna come off- [...
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[S1] I hadn't graduated yet. I left to go play arena football. I tried to make the NFL. [S2] Okay. [S1] Didn't make it, so I played an arena football, uh, for a season to try to get more practice and then go to the NFL. [S2] Okay. [S1] In my rookie season, I'd get injured. I'd dive for a football into the wall. It's in...
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[S1] And so that's why you said we have to take a bone out of your hip. And I didn't know it would be the, almost more painful from the hip because there's no easy way to like sliver a little piece of bone out of body. They take like a sledgehammer and they just go away on your hip. [S2] Oh. [S1] So my whole body was b...
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[S1] Before the Christmas time happened in 2008. Now I got my- [S2] How old are you? [S1] I was 20, probably 23 at that time. [S2] Okay. [S1] I think. Going into 24 in that March coming up. And so this time I'm in the denial phase. I'm like, I'm gonna heal, I'm gonna be fine. I'm, I'm, my ego is so big that I'm like, I...
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[S1] Wait, is that not the greatness mindset? [S2] No, it's not. [S1] Nothing can hurt me, I can take the pain? Okay. [S2] No, no, it's not it. [S1] Now you got me, I'm hooked. I- I wanna know what this is. [S2] That's the ego mindset.
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[S1] ... which gets certain results, but left, you, leaves you feeling very alone inside in a lot of ways. So I, I get, um, that, so I'm in denial. And then every six weeks I do a checkup with a doctor, thinking they're gonna take this off, I'm gonna be fine. [S2] Right. [S1] And they keep saying, "Another six weeks, a...
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[S1] Uh, the, the, the tendons, the muscle, like it won't straighten all the way without a lot of pain in my elbow. So it takes about a year and a half just to, like, rehab my arm to be able to straighten this, let alone learn how to, like, use my wrist and function fully. So I went through a, a phase of, like, sadness...
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[S1] Yeah, I'm like, nothing can hurt me. I realized quickly, oh, things can hurt me and they can take away from my, my dreams. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] In certain areas. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So it was a period of, uh, and right before this, my dad gets in an accident where he has a traumatic brain injury from a car accident. A ...
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[S1] ... they have to airlift him out of the car. They have to cut the car open, airlift him. He's in a coma for three months. This happens a year before I get injured. So for me, my dad had woken up after months in a, in a coma in a hospital. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] He was physically alive, but emotionally dead. [S2] Wow. [...
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[S1] years after the accident? [S2] 17 years after the accident. He just passed last year. But he had, it was like he, he, it's like he was gone. It's like you- [S1] How did that affect you? [S2] He was physically there, but he wasn't my dad anymore. He was my dad, but I couldn't have a conversation with him because, I...
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[S1] Mm. [S2] And you can take over the business one day if you want to, and I'll train you up. So it was kind of always like a backup plan. He had to sell his business right after this accident within the year, um, 'cause he wasn't able to work anymore. He wasn't able to really function in that way anymore. [S1] Yeah....
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[S1] It's also, 2008 was like a, it kind of felt like 2020 with the economic crisis. [S2] Right. [S1] And so I'm, I don't have a college degree yet. I'm trying to figure out how to get my degree and finish it while I get a job, but no one's hiring people without degrees at that time. So it was just kind of like, what a...
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[S1] surgery and pain killers. And so I think this moment is really important for us to unpack. And so I want to have you read- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... a part of your book. [S2] Okay. [S1] So that highlighted section, I'd love for you to read because it takes us right back to the moment of what you were feeling when you ...
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[S1] Am I enough? Am I lovable? Will I ever matter? That was like a thing that was just a constant theme inside of me. But there was a voice that was also like, "Just keep going." You know? [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] It was like, "You got this. Just keep going." So I'm really grateful that I was able to hear that voice, even t...
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[S1] And I wish I would have learned sooner what I talk about in the book, which is allowing myself to heal all the memories and pain from the past. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And it really wasn't until I started that process 10 years ago of healing past memories,
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[S1] And the more I would do that, I would feel shameful because I was doing things that I knew weren't in alignment with who I was or my highest self was. And so once I started to heal, I could stop abandoning myself, create barriers or boundaries in my emotions or in my life- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... so that I could sta...
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[S1] Um, by standing my ground in certain situations. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And that has been the biggest gift I've given myself because it has allowed me, someone was asking me on the phone when I was driving here, I was like, "How did this book come about?" I go, "I had the idea for it for years, but I didn't have inner ...
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[S1] In the beginning. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Because it's been a journey from being the 23-year-old lost former professional football- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... person, to really realizing that chasing success got you so far- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... but you had to fix what felt broken on the inside. [S2] 100%.
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[S1] ... on the inside. [S2] Yeah, and it, you know, as a, growing up, I wanted success. The, the thought of success was like the answer. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] Right? And that was maybe, I don't know why that came about, but it was always about how to be successful. [S1] Yeah. [S2] And I achieved success for, on my terms, ...
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[S1] Where Lewis is going to save you the almost 13 years, was it? How long was it? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] 22 decades or whatever of pain that he put himself through- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... to get to the wisdom and the greatness that he has unlocked in himself. 'Cause I've known Lewis for five years. He is a different human ...
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[S1] a different human being than even just a year ago. And I think that it is possible, and Lewis will tell you this, to be a competitive motherfucker and to compete at the highest levels, which he does. [S2] Yeah. I still like to win. [S1] How, how, yes. [S2] But it's a win-win. [S1] Yes. [S2] You know, it's, it's a ...
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[S1] And even just to comment on what you said about paying bills, I don't think you can have financial peace unless you have inner peace. Because there's so many people that you know that have lots of money who are overly stressed. [S2] Right. [S1] And more money doesn't always solve every problem. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I...
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[S1] That's true. And I'm going to add something to that. Because both Lewis and I have been in moments of our life, and ironically it was during 2007 and 2008, where neither one of us were able to buy groceries. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] We did not have any savings. We did not have any income. We were relying on other people ...
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[S1] Or you're at a point where you're having trouble paying your bills. Cultivating a sense of peace inside yourself, an assuredness that you can rely on yourself, a steadiness- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... so that the world around you- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... does not trip you up emotionally, that that is a superpower. [S2] Mm-...
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[S1] The game is healing. [S2] The game is healing in order to, you know, create anything in my mind. You know. [S1] What does healing even mean, Lewis?
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[S1] I used to feel a lot of pain in my chest or tightness in my throat or disturbance in my stomach. I used to feel like I couldn't sleep at night because I was up for an hour and a half, like, ruminating or thinking and stressed. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I used to be very reactive when my nervous system was triggered. [S2] ...
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[S1] So your nervous system is in peace when there's chaos around you. It doesn't mean I'm not gonna feel triggered momentarily or feel like, "Oh, I don't like that," or react- [S2] Right. [S1] ... to a thing or feel disturbed. But it's learning how to recognize it much faster and from a place of integrating healing an...
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[S1] Or maybe I was aware of them, but I was just like, "This is who I am. Don't mess with me." You know? It's like this is- [S2] Oh, how many of us have heard that? [S1] Yeah, this is, "Don't try to change me. Don't mess with me." Like, "This is who I am. I'm fine." [S2] Right. [S1] You know? "There's nothing wrong wi...
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[S1] Even reading my own words, I trip up sometimes because I still have to practice, like, reading slowly and with a cadence. [S2] So what was that like for me to pass the book to you? [S1] I, I was...
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[S1] Can we unpack that for a minute? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] 'Cause I think it's a really relatable example. So, every one of us has something that we're self-conscious about or that we beat ourselves up about, whether it's our weight or like, you know, something about our skin or our hair or our height or, you know, for yo...
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[S1] How do you, or how did you, Lewis, learn to accept something you hated? How do you fucking do that? [S2] There's many different modalities of- [S1] What worked for you. [S2] ... of healing. [S1] Right. [S2] And I, and I feel like over the last 10 years, I was telling your husband Chris about this. I was like, 'cau...
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[S1] Um, and I did workshops, emotional intelligence leadership training workshops 10 years ago that helped me unlock and open up about sexual trauma. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That was kind of stage one. It was one of my biggest shames that I didn't want to talk about, I didn't want anyone to know about, because if anyone kne...
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[S1] That supported me in accomplishing certain results, but hurt me in feeling loved and harmony and alignment within myself. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so it was exhausting. It's draining. It's an emotional train wreck because you're kinda living a double life. Inside, you know the truth. Outside, others don't know the tr...
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[S1] about the fact that you're hiding this thing. It's not like you're walking around- [S2] Right. [S1] ... thinking about the fact that you were a victim of sexual abuse. It's that it's stored in your body- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... so your body operates at, in a state all the time as if something bad's about to happen. [S...
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[S1] I wasn't even like aware that I wasn't telling people. I was just like, you know, trying to block it and, and, and cover it up constantly. [S2] Yeah. [S1] But it was always in my mind. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Like maybe every few days the memory would come up in some way. It was just like a movie that was repeating on, ...
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