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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512852 | [S1] It's a flag. It's a flag. And one of the ways I sometimes assess that flag is I'll sometimes care for teenagers who are like, "I don't eat sugar." And I'll be like, "Mm," right? And my, my eyebrows will go up. But if I also know that they don't eat sugar unless somebody brings in some really good cupcakes, I don't... | 23.68 | 3.095638 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512852.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512853 | [S1] We can actually go back to where we started around people having two sides. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And it's the job of all of us, and teenagers are developing in their capacity, to take good care of ourselves. That's our job. And so if a teenager is suddenly eating nothing but celery and running, you know, a lot, that ... | 23.44 | 3.275743 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512853.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512854 | [S1] And we have always, as psychologists, recognized that there, healthy anxiety is the anxiety that alerts us when something's wrong. It is not on its own pathological. And it, we have not helped the situation by using the same word- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... to describe healthy anxiety in something that we diagnose. Um,... | 27.32 | 3.269168 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512854.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512855 | [S1] It's devastating 'cause it, you're right. Like I think about the fact that I was homesick at every camp, so much so that I would just escalate it until the counselors got so tired that my parents would show up 'cause it works. It goes back to your original thing. We do these things because they work. [S2] They wor... | 28.28 | 3.508304 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512855.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512856 | [S1] What does that mean? [S2] That means that when teenagers are having their big feelings, and their feelings are big, and they come our way with their big feelings, that we don't meet them where they are. We don't get as agitated as they are. [S1] Oh. [S2] That we can listen, be attentive, and offer empathy, which a... | 26 | 3.205748 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512856.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512857 | [S1] I, I, I love your phrase, "It stinks." 'Cause you're right. If there are big emotions, that's all you need to say. That stinks. And if you'd... [S2] Yeah. [S1] I, I never really thought about it from the standpoint that if I get distressed, I magnify their distress. | 16 | 3.416759 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512857.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512858 | [S1] From the grief, to the excitement, to the fear, to the sadness, I just have to hold space for it. I don't need to project, "Oh, no, what if it triggers the eating disorder? What if this happens? What if I had to, had to, had to..." Cheer up, calm down, it's going to be okay. Like, I don't have to do any of that. I... | 28.48 | 3.527376 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512858.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512859 | [S1] But I find your work so helpful because it is always grounded in a larger framing. And so the advice that sounds simple is suddenly so profound because you understand it in the context of the larger framing. [S2] Thank you. I, I, I'm so glad I can be helpful. [S1] Oh my gosh. [S2] It's a hard time. It's a hard tim... | 25.84 | 3.40821 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512859.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512860 | [S1] ... adventures. [S2] It sure is. Um, any final words of hope or that you want people to know? [S1] Here's what I want people to know. We have | 14.56 | 3.3192 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512860.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512861 | [S1] studied adolescent mental health for decades, and the single most powerful force for protecting teenage mental health is strong relationships with caring adults. [S2] Hmm. [S1] We're not gonna Medicaid or therapize our way out of this adolescent mental health crisis. It's gonna be about the adults around teenagers... | 26.32 | 3.318929 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512861.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512862 | [S1] Being there for teenagers and being invested in their emotional lives, that's how we're going to find our way through this. [S2] Well, thank you for giving us the tools to be able to show up and do just that. [S1] It's an honor to be here. | 11.48 | 3.332643 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p66_m4-dialogue_0512862.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096858 | [S1] Oh, do we ever. You know, I was, I'm, I'm pretty emotional today. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Because I'm here in Los Angeles because our, uh, one of our daughters is graduating from college in a couple of days. And I am going, after our interview, | 15.04 | 3.4398 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096858.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096859 | [S1] to hear her do her final senior performance. [S2] Ah, beautiful. [S1] And it's a full circle moment 'cause I'm going to the theater where she got her invitation to audition, to even be admitted into the program. [S2] Wow. [S1] And I've been calling it a full circle moment. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But what I realize is, ... | 28.56 | 3.497933 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096859.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096860 | [S1] It makes me emotional to think about this because I lived for so long feeling what you would call psychologically homeless. [S2] Yes. [S1] Disconnected from my true self. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And the feeling that you have when you finally feel whole. | 26.36 | 3.314329 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096860.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096861 | [S1] It is unlike anything I've ever experienced. [S2] Yes. [S1] And I appreciate the honesty and the transparency because we do get disconnected. You know, life disconnects us and, you know, if you don't mind saying, how could you tell you were disconnected or what was it like when you were psychologically wandering? ... | 26.68 | 3.335339 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096861.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096862 | [S1] Like, there was the physical me. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Walking around in my life, doing the things that we all do, getting up, going to work, taking care of the kids, calling friends, watching TV. But there was a part of me that was separate, that felt, um, | 21.56 | 3.260796 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096862.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096863 | [S1] I guess you could call it like a knowing. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I, I wonder if even that critical voice that we listen to is also almost like grinding at you because you're not really on a path where you feel like you are truly, I mean, and sometimes I think back, I think I, I didn't even feel like I was alive for cry... | 26.4 | 3.342004 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096863.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096864 | [S1] No spiritual center. [S2] Yeah. [S1] No connection to values, just existing. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so I guess it would be for me this feeling of separateness. | 10.48 | 3.395881 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096864.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096865 | [S1] Right? Because I can lie to myself that social script is, "I'm fine, I'm fine." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] And, you know, I'm in a lot of faith-based communities and the term is like, "I'm blessed." Right? It's like, yeah, you can be blessed and also have a lot going on. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Uh, blessed and lost. So, uh, that ... | 27.72 | 3.328196 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096865.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096866 | [S1] Okay. I just want to make sure that you listening to us just got what Dr. Tame had just said to you. I miss myself. [S2] Yeah. [S1] How does somebody who feels like they don't even know who they are, like you hear that a lot, "I don't even know who I am anymore." [S2] Yes. Yeah. So I like to say, even if you feel ... | 29.36 | 3.415419 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096866.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096867 | [S1] Is the reality for a lot of people who grew up with stress and trauma. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Who perhaps were born into families where there was a lot of stress and trauma. So you learned early to be in survival mode, or you learned to play small, or you learned to people please. And so you never got to what I like to... | 23.64 | 3.345837 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096867.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096868 | [S1] connect with the truth of who you are. And so even if you have never met you, you can come home to you. And that's kind of the good news of this process. [S2] Wow. There's a West African, uh, fable- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... that you tell at the very beginning of the book- [S1] Yes. [S2] ... that I think will give us a ... | 29 | 3.391681 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096868.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096869 | [S1] I, what is it, is it a fable? What are you... [S2] Yeah, you can say it's a, a fable. I, um, I lived in Liberia, West Africa for high school, so I'm gonna do it in my version of Liberian English, but any Liberians who are listening will tell you, uh, that's not the for true. [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Uh, so, um, once upo... | 25.64 | 3.293686 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096869.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096870 | [S1] Mm. He said, "What are Eagle doing with these chickens?" He go to the front of the farm and he say, "Bop, bop." You people say knock, knock. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] The real sound, that's bop, bop. He say, "Bop, bop." The man inside say, "Who that?" The man outside say, "That me. You my open the door and see." So he op... | 25.24 | 2.907978 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096870.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096871 | [S1] Oh, I just got to do that right now. Oh my gosh. That, that is why this book is required reading for everyone. This is why you wrote the book. In fact, I would love for you to read this part. [S2] Right here, up to there. [S1] Oh, sure. | 21.04 | 3.039531 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096871.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096872 | [S1] Beautiful. [S2] Thank you. [S1] Thank you. [S2] Mm. And it has been such a gift being able to get this out to people because so many of us are hungry for more. Like you have the sense, "This can't be it." [S1] Mm. [S2] Right? Like this- [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] ... this just can't be it, right? In whatever area of my lif... | 27.4 | 3.205187 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096872.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096873 | [S1] is work, but we're worth it. [S2] Mm. [S1] Right? [S2] Yeah. [S1] And when we are not at home, we're paying a cost anyway. How much has it cost me to live some other woman's life? [S2] [SIGHS] [S1] I don't want to pay it anymore. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Yeah. Yeah. [S2] It cost you your life. [S1] Right. It cost you your ... | 22.96 | 3.410556 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096873.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096874 | [S1] How do we start? Like what, where is the beginning step to your own homecoming? [S2] I start every session with the breath. [S1] Okay. [S2] Because we're so busy and scattered and we have been tricked, duped, hoodwinked into believing I can prove my worthiness with my busyness. | 24.72 | 3.414441 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096874.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096875 | [S1] And so people can come in, you know, running a million miles and have believed themselves that if I'm so productive, I must be at home. [S2] Mm. [S1] But we often are not. And so I invite people to take a moment to tune into their breath, to inhale in through their nose, and exhale out through the mouth. | 26.84 | 3.351735 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096875.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096876 | [S1] Um, I just noticed that my mind went quiet. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I dropped out of my head. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And into my body. [S2] That's it. [S1] And there was a slowing. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] That kinda went with this knowing. [S2] Right. [S1] That this feels better than the thoughts that are racing or the things th... | 26.52 | 3.356619 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096876.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096877 | [S1] ... and violence. [S2] Yeah. Then truth shows up, right? And many of us suppress and run and hide. And so, then that heightens the belief that I can't see myself. [S1] Mm. [S2] Right? And so, that keeps us running. So, instead, to give | 20 | 3.386455 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096877.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096878 | [S1] So if homecoming means coming back home and feeling connected- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... to your most authentic self, to recognizing the eagle- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... that is in there- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... and ignoring what everybody said and all the stuff around you that makes you chicken, makes you feel like a chicken. [S2]... | 19.52 | 3.433022 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096878.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096879 | [S1] ... connection. [S2] So when we are in a place of feeling powerless, hopelessness, uh, despair, those are indicators that we have lost sight of our power and voice. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] 'Cause the truth is we do have capacity, voice, and agency, but we've been in environments where that wasn't welcomed or that wasn't... | 26.24 | 3.450218 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096879.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096880 | [S1] Story you tell in the book about, um, being at a event where you're giving one of the bazillion keynote speeches that you give. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] And a survivor of sexual abuse comes up to you. Can you share that story? | 15.36 | 3.418393 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096880.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096881 | [S1] but I know attitude is despair, but, uh... [S2] Hold on a second. [S1] Uh-huh. [S2] Attitude is despair? [S1] Yeah. So a form of depression people often don't recognize is irritable depression. | 14.16 | 3.520217 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096881.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096882 | [S1] Right? Yeah. [S2] Wow. [S1] And, and people don't respond to compassion with compassion to women with a quote unquote bad attitude. But if we said when I see that woman, she's in despair, maybe then I would respond with compassion. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But some of us, by family, by culture, by religion, we're taught ... | 28.96 | 3.488998 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096882.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096883 | [S1] Right? But underneath it is the despair. [S2] It's so true. [S1] Yeah. [S2] It's like an iceberg. You see the anger on the top, but there's something so much deeper going on. [S1] So much deeper underneath. [S2] Wow. [S1] Yeah. [S2] So you could pick up on the attitude and the energy. [S1] Mm-hmm. | 16.08 | 3.407 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096883.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096884 | [S1] But I know there's the story there. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Right? Especially because when you know you haven't done anything, right? So I am, I am on, feeling on the receiving end of your upset and I haven't done anything so that I know there's a story. [S2] Yeah. [S1] So, you know, when it gets to be her place, uh, she'... | 27.48 | 3.285009 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096884.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096885 | [S1] And I said, "Look, I just gave a whole keynote on it, right?" [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] I say, "Yes." And she says, "Well, you don't look like any survivor I've ever known." So the doubting can be triggering as we think about not being believed. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But then I go deeper than that, uh, and decide not to get ... | 21.84 | 3.298678 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096885.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096886 | [S1] Instead, I just let her question/statement hang in the air, and I just, uh, what I would say, soften. [S2] Hmm. [S1] Right? I soften, and I just look at her, and it's like, now she can see me. Like, on the stage, with my PowerPoint and my pantsuit, she couldn't, she couldn't see me. | 23.52 | 3.384068 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096886.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096887 | [S1] Right? She could only see the strength and the, uh, oratorical skills. [S2] Yeah. [S1] But now standing in front of her, kind of woman to woman, she could see, uh, the vulnerability. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And seeing the vulnerability, she said, "You know, the only survivors I've ever known were, uh, fat and, uh, poor ... | 29.16 | 3.400794 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096887.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096888 | [S1] And when you are excellent, people don't notice your wounds. [S2] Hmm. [S1] And sometimes you don't notice them. You feel you've outrun it. [S2] Yes. [S1] But it's there. Late at night, early in the morning, when you're in certain environments, it shows up that it's still bleeding and you've just gotten busy but n... | 29.16 | 2.926623 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096888.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096889 | [S1] I'm gonna, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna give you her name later. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] But she has a beautiful quote I love, which is, uh, "I don't want to be driven, I want to be called." | 12.84 | 3.349857 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096889.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096890 | [S1] And this idea of like when you're driven, your trauma can drive you. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Like your insecurity can, you know, where you have to constantly prove yourself and it's this franticness versus when I'm at home, then I can be in flow with what is me. Yeah. [S2] Wow. Um, if you have somebody in your life who ha... | 28.16 | 3.399229 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096890.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096891 | [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] How do you practice softening- [S1] Yes. [S2] ... and compassion? 'Cause oftentimes, if you're around somebody who's constantly irritable- [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] ... who is always angry about or frustrated with something- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... I have several people that come to mind right now in my own life.... | 16.76 | 3.349605 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096891.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096892 | [S1] What are some, some tools- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... that we can use- [S2] Right. [S1] ... to practice more compassion in those moments- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... so that we lead with compassion rather than get so reactive. | 12.8 | 3.116875 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096892.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096893 | [S1] Right. And I love that question because I think what we often get pulled into is being combative with them. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And they're always gonna out-combat us. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] [LAUGHS] Because they're in warrior mode, right? [S2] Right. [S1] And so, uh, you know, when they come with the intensity, uh, the... | 21.92 | 3.236726 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096893.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096894 | [S1] ... to the softness. And I would say one of two ways. One is if I, if I can relate at all, I'll give my own experience, right? And that helps them not to feel judged, right? [S2] Yeah. [S1] I'm not saying like calling you out 'cause I see what you're doing. It's just saying, you know, there was a time where, and w... | 23.16 | 3.355977 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096894.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096896 | [S1] Um, well, I really wanted to check in 'cause I know this is such a busy time with you, you know, that you're moving, that you're this, that you're that. And for us to ask a deeper question because the how are you gives us fine and you. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Right? So break out of the script. And so instead, with everyth... | 29.96 | 3.495167 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096896.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096897 | [S1] If you bring in the chicken and the eagle, can we use that, that fable to describe that moment where the survivor in the audience has this irritable, depressive moment with you? [S2] Right. [S1] What is happening for her in your opinion as a psychologist? [S2] Yeah. So I like to say | 24.84 | 3.363052 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096897.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096898 | [S1] The reason you feel unsettled is because you're not supposed to settle. [S2] Say that again. [S1] The reason you feel unsettled is because you're not supposed to settle. So what area of your life are you settling? [S2] And I would imagine that any area where you feel unsettled- [S1] Mm-hmm. | 24.92 | 2.978494 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096898.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096899 | [S1] Right. There it is. [S2] There it is. [S1] So, you know, what happens is often we are focused so much, uh, outwardly, if only. If only my spouse would do this, if only my kids would do this, if only my supervisor would do this, um, and in this moment, we don't have the capacity to shift them. So how might you want... | 29.56 | 3.296256 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096899.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096900 | [S1] ... surrounding you. [S2] Oh, yes. And frustrating, and annoying, and- [S1] Yes. Yes. [S2] ... and draining, but it also, uh, lets me off the hook because I can keep waiting for their homecoming, right? I can come home to myself when they come home to themselves. Well, everybody is on their own timing, and what I ... | 23.64 | 3.317347 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096900.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096901 | [S1] is I don't want to be, I don't want to keep my healing hostage waiting for the healing of those who harmed me. [S2] Oh. Wow. [S1] Mm-hmm. And that's what we're doing when we're like waiting for the apology. [S2] Yeah. [S1] It's like I can't heal 'til you see what you did to me. [S2] Mm-hmm. | 18.08 | 3.085386 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096901.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096902 | [S1] Like, that could be years. [S2] It might be your whole lifetime. [S1] It may be your whole life, right? They have gone on with their lives. They don't care. They're not thinking about it. And so I want to take my healing out of their hands. | 13.64 | 3.306288 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096902.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096903 | [S1] Mm. [S2] And give it back to yourself. [S1] Yeah. [S2] And so the process of coming home and the homecoming is the act of self-healing. [S1] Yes. Yes. [S2] It's about joining back in with yourself. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] You know, because we have such a huge international audience and therapy can be very expensive. [S1... | 25.16 | 3.469876 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096903.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096904 | [S1] questions that you often ask patients. [S2] Yeah. [S1] That can be a sign of what you call psychological homelessness. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so I would also love for you, Dr. Tama, to talk about what is psychological homelessness? [S2] Yeah. [S1] I've never heard that phrase before. [S2] Yeah. [S1] But it makes so... | 19.08 | 3.385647 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096904.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096905 | [S1] ... then they're my compass. But I need a compass. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] 'Cause that's what we talk about with therapy, is at some point, people need to internalize it. So it's not just every week people coming and saying, "So, Tama, what do you think?" [S2] Yeah. [S1] Right? They have to get to the point where I was ... | 27.36 | 3.436554 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096905.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096906 | [S1] You've taken the first step, which is awareness. Because I can't come home to myself if I don't realize I'm wandering. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Right? Sometimes we don't realize it. You can, time is passing and you don't know it. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So, the fact that in this moment, as you're listening, you chose to tell you... | 19.56 | 3.364742 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096906.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096907 | [S1] feel good about ourselves, uh, we neglect ourselves and we erase ourselves. And that those can have cultural messages and gender messages and religious messages where people will say self-care is selfish. [S2] Right. [S1] You know? And so to say, uh, to myself, I am not just a tool for other people's nourishing. | 26.48 | 3.438186 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096907.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096908 | [S1] ... to begin to care for ourselves. And the catch is, when we talk about behavioral psychology, with behavioral psychology, you start to do the action even if you don't feel it yet. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Right? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So if I say, like, I'm gonna wait till I have high self-esteem and then take good care of ... | 23.64 | 3.36885 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096908.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096909 | [S1] That is definitely a code word and the name came back to me of the life coach I quoted, so I just want to give- [S2] Sure. [S1] Shannon Yvette- [S2] Okay. [S1] ... is the one who- [S2] Great. [S1] ... who gave the quote I said earlier. But, uh, when people don't have a sense of their purpose, uh, that's a, an indi... | 26.64 | 3.302747 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096909.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096910 | [S1] In order to survive those, you have to disconnect. [S2] Mm. [S1] It's impossible to be at home with yourself and stay in relationship with someone who is dishonoring you perpetually. [S2] Wow. [S1] Yeah. [S2] So for somebody that just had like, pew. [S1] Yes. [S2] A wake up call. [S1] Mm-hmm. | 21.92 | 3.330505 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096910.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096911 | [S1] Then you can have compassion for yourself because people will judge you and say, like, why'd you stay so long? [S2] Right. [S1] But you weren't connected to you. You had been disconnected from yourself so you don't even feel the capacity to dream again, to imagine, to believe that better is possible for you and th... | 26.96 | 3.302535 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096911.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096912 | [S1] ... relationships and jobs all the time. [S2] All the time. [S1] In fact, you have a whole chapter about how to handle a toxic work environment. [S2] That's right. [S1] So if somebody is listening to this and they're on their way in- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... to a job that is slowly just draining their soul- [S2] Righ... | 29.28 | 3.455035 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096912.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096913 | [S1] That does not feel cohesive. [S2] Yeah. [S1] That is where you're settling. That is a point of disconnection. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] You talk to us about breathing. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Close your eyes, come back into your body. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] You've talked also about self-care. What does that mean, self-care? [S2] Right... | 16.56 | 3.382845 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096913.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096914 | [S1] So to have to flip it, and of course in moderation, 'cause when people hear that, they're like, "Do you mean I can never have?" Right? [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] So in my, and drinking water instead of all the soda. Sleep is a big one. It is hard to come home to yourself when you're exhausted. You know, we are busy, busy, | 19.52 | 3.234531 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096914.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096915 | Uh, and then all night people are, uh, on their phones or, you know, up and can't sleep. And I say, if your idea, and, and hopefully this is okay to say. [S1] You can say whatever you want. [S2] Okay. Yes. If your idea of relaxing before you go to sleep is watching three episodes of Law & Order, I would encourage you t... | 25.08 | 3.32653 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096915.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096916 | [S1] That's what it is. I mean, it's ha, harm, crime, violation, attacks, and that's what is gonna soothe me into my bedtime. [S2] So what is the answer- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... that a lot of people give you when they do go into therapy about that connection? | 17.72 | 3.311059 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096916.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096917 | [S1] It is amazing how many people don't tell the people that they love that they don't, that they love them. [S2] Right. [S1] And it hadn't occurred to me it's because they never were told that themselves. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And that it might feel forced or not authentic. | 19.88 | 3.366876 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096917.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096918 | [S1] Yes. [S2] Whoa. [S1] Yeah. And that's the importance of us learning the, each other's love languages because, you know, her response was the response of probably many of her generation, which was you have food on the table or you have a roof over your head. [S2] Yes. Yes. | 17.04 | 3.388763 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096918.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096919 | [S1] over your head. [S2] Yes. Yes. What more do you want from me? [S1] Right. What more? [S2] What more? Um, I love also that homecoming is not only therapy. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] That there is a deeply spiritual aspect to this. [S1] Yes. [S2] So what is sort of the, how would you describe the difference between therapy- ... | 24.8 | 3.50659 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096919.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096920 | [S1] That's right. So unfortunately, many people who are in the mental health field did not get trained to incorporate spirituality. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so, uh, there's research that shows on average, mental health professionals endorse a lower level of spirituality or religiosity than the general public. [S2] Really... | 21.96 | 3.535503 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096920.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096921 | [S1] Why do you think that is? [S2] Well, I think, uh, a part of that can go with, uh, higher levels of education. [S1] Huh. [S2] That a lot of times, uh, people can disconnect as, as with education can feel like they need to prove everything. [S1] Mm. [S2] And spirituality is beyond our proving or our being able to, u... | 29.04 | 3.382466 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096921.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096922 | [S1] Right? So it's like it's, it's not concrete. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Right? And so that's, in the field of psychology, the actual, you know, the founders in the field were often people of faith, but then there was this move in the field where we wanted to prove we're a science. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So we, we're not, if we ... | 29.92 | 3.343415 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096922.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096923 | [S1] from that area. And then I think the other part of it has been, um, the recognition that some people have been harmed in spiritual spaces. [S2] Mm. [S1] So then some therapists will over-generalize and think that it is all harmful, as opposed to whenever you get people together, you're gonna have some good and som... | 29.8 | 3.409278 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096923.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096924 | [S1] Ooh, I love that definition. And now that we're on this topic- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... it occurs to me, how could you possibly heal without pulling faith? [S2] Yes. [S1] And a belief that something that you have not experienced is possible. [S2] Mm-hmm. | 17.96 | 3.353046 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096924.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096925 | [S1] That's it, 100%. 'Cause I even say, to be a therapist, social worker, life coach, any of these things, you have to have faith. And for people to show up, there has to be a faith that there can be more than what I have seen- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... and what I have experienced. It's like when I'm counseling people who... | 24.76 | 3.460959 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096925.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096926 | [S1] Right? If you just used a bad treatment, if people, like, call you back, you're like, "Oh." [S2] Yeah. [S1] Right? They call me back. And it's like, "That was nice, but there's more." [S2] Yes. [S1] Right? There's more. [S2] Yes. Yes. So we've kinda started stepping- [S1] Yeah. [S2] ... toward this awareness. How ... | 26.56 | 3.084194 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096926.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096927 | [S1] With the work to start to heal, or as you say, repair yourself. [S2] Yeah. [S1] In the physical space. | 7.72 | 3.444073 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096927.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096928 | [S1] That's right. So a part of it is what gives us the motivation to do the work because a lot of times we're operating based on evidence, which is what we've seen. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So if I've only had bad experiences, my parents abandoned me, this person left me, this person mistreated me, if I believe that is all t... | 26.16 | 3.4054 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096928.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096929 | [S1] I have to have the belief of the more. [S2] How the heck do you do that? [S1] Yes. [S2] Your whole life. [S1] Yeah. [S2] You have experienced. [S1] Mm-hmm. | 9.96 | 3.101343 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096929.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096930 | [S1] Either abuse or mistreatment or discrimination. [S2] Yes. [S1] Or violence. How do you, when you have evidence that does make you feel unworthy, because I'm sure you get these DMs and these emails all day long, so do we. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Of people who so want to believe that they are worthy, that something is bette... | 29.12 | 3.430153 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096930.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096931 | [S1] It's both spiritual and I could argue the case. [S2] Yes. Yes. [S1] But for somebody who is sitting in the disbelief. [S2] Yeah. [S1] How do you cross over. [S2] Right. [S1] To believe. [S2] Yeah. So it's a couple of levels. One of them is to get people to reflect on what do they believe all human beings deserve? ... | 28.08 | 3.366529 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096931.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096932 | [S1] Well- [S2] And I believe I'm on the gra- You know what I'm saying? [S1] Yes, yes, yes. [S2] Like we go back to this. How do you possibly convince yourself- [S1] Right. [S2] ... that you could be an eagle if you've never seen one? [S1] Yes, yes. So what we, uh, connect with is disrupting what we call the cognitive ... | 25.8 | 3.500119 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096932.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096933 | [S1] But let me give you an example. [S2] Okay, please. [S1] So, uh, for people who were molested- [S2] Yes. [S1] ... they either were told directly or indirectly that that is their fault, right? That, um, it's 'cause they developed early or it's because they shouldn't have been over there or whatever it is, that someh... | 26.08 | 3.348383 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096933.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096934 | [S1] ... demonstrate that that is a lie. So how do I demonstrate that that is a lie? Does every girl who develops breast early deserve to be molested? [S2] Of course not. [S1] So you are not an exception to that rule. | 20.04 | 3.21036 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096934.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096935 | [S1] Oh. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I see. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I can see another lie because I'm a survivor of, uh, that kind of abuse. [S2] Yeah. [S1] It's the, "Shh." [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] "Don't tell anyone." [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Or you'll get in trouble. [S2] Yeah. Yeah. And what I learned about that, uh, I say, from my own journey is, | 26.84 | 3.423354 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096935.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096936 | [S1] I was taught that keeping quiet kept the peace until I realized whose peace is it keeping. [S2] Oh. Oh. [S1] Right. The offenders at peace, the people who don't want to deal with it at peace, and I, in this little body, am holding all of the war. So I don't want to hold it anymore. [S2] Wow. | 28.52 | 3.260267 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096936.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096937 | [S1] You know, this is what we're taught. You're gonna upset things, you're gonna upset people, nobody wants to hear that. And, uh, yeah, there's no peace. [S2] Whose peace are you keeping? [S1] Yeah. [S2] You're making it easy for everybody else. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] As it's slowly- [S1] Right. [S2] ... destroying you. [... | 29.48 | 3.429419 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096937.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096938 | [S1] How do you counsel people who, in the process of starting to come back home to themselves- [S2] Yeah. [S1] ... to learn to fly- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... to stop holding the peace for other people around you, how do you counsel people to then go back into their life? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Like you're, let's just say it's ... | 28.16 | 3.503337 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096938.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096939 | [S1] Yes. [S2] The homecoming process can also be scary. [S1] Yes. [S2] 'Cause you're gonna have to confront things. [S1] And it's gonna require some losses. And some people are not gonna be happy with the new you. | 12.6 | 3.380195 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096939.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096940 | [S1] People like the silent you. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] They like the compliant you. They like the doormat you. Who wouldn't like that? [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] Right? So when you start getting some opinions and start getting your voice and not wanting to do some of the unhealthy things you've been doing, uh, not everyone is gonn... | 25.96 | 3.224143 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096940.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096941 | [S1] You know, in your new role, you are, um, really wanting to bring access to therapy, to mental health support, to the process of a homecoming for people. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Um, to as many people as possible. So why is therapy, what is therapy and why is it important? | 23.32 | 3.460018 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096941.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096942 | [S1] Yeah. So therapy is when you have a trained, licensed facilitator who understands how to journey with you from where you are back home to yourself- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... without judgment and with compassion and without needing you to take care of them. [S2] Oh. | 25.96 | 3.225223 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096942.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096943 | [S1] That last part was the big one. [S2] That's the big one. That's why your friend is not the same thing. Your family member is not the same thing. [S1] Wow. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I had always said objective and licensed. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But the fact that you just said- [S2] Yeah. [S1] You don't have to take care of them... | 20.76 | 3.363123 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096943.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096944 | [S1] Wow. [S2] Yeah. That's the huge part, especially for those of us who have tendencies toward taking care of people, right? [S1] Yeah. [S2] So then in your other relationships, you'll say, "I don't want to burden people," or, "I know they have a lot going on, so let me just pour into them." Well, this is the space w... | 22.84 | 3.197473 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096944.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096945 | [S1] You know, I tell my clients, "I'm good. I, I, I have spaces outside of here that are for me, so you don't have to worry. I, I have the capacity to hold it." And, and that's what we need. [S2] And you also have the tools- [S1] Yes. [S2] ... to help us recognize and call ourselves out where we're being a chicken. [S... | 29.4 | 3.45902 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096945.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096947 | [S1] ... life is struggling. I'm just gonna send my husband to therapy. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Just gonna send my kid to therapy. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Does that work? [S2] So there is a benefit of individual and family. [S1] Okay. [S2] Right? Because I'll say especially, uh, with children, what I saw when I first started was peopl... | 27.24 | 3.42358 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_22095156_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_BV19a4y1q7Yz_p68_m4-dialogue_0096947.mp3 | [
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