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Then how do I choose again? You’re telling me, “You chose that lifestyle yourself, so go ahead and select a new one instantly,” but there’s no way I can just change on the spot! | Yes, you can. People can change at any time, regardless of the environments they are in. You are unable to change only because you are making the decision not to. |
That doesn’t make sense. On the one hand, you’re talking about love, and on the other, you’re denying it. If you draw the line between yourself and other people that way, you won’t be able to believe in anyone anymore! | Look, the act of believing is also the separation of tasks. You believe in your partner; that is your task. But how that person acts with regard to your expectations and trust is other people’s tasks. When you push your wishes without having drawn that line, before you know it you’re engaging in stalker-like interventi... |
I see. So your first encounter with Adlerian psychology began with a feeling of incongruity? | That’s right. |
. . . Community feeling? | Yes. This is a key concept in Adlerian psychology, and views on its application have been the subject of much debate. In fact, Adler’s proposal of the concept of community feeling drove many people to part ways with him. |
My comrades? | Exactly. In effect, placing confidence in others is connected to seeing others as comrades. It is because they are one’s comrades that one can have confidence in them. If they were not one’s comrades, one would not be able to reach the level of confidence. And then, having other people as one’s comrades connects to fin... |
How do you reject that? | There are parents who refute my explanation of the concept of encouragement by saying, “Our child does bad things from morning to night, and there is never an occasion to tell him, ‘Thank you,’ or ‘You helped a lot.’ ” The context is probably the same as what you are talking about, isn’t it? |
The moments. | And the same may be said with regard to your own life. You set objectives for the distant future, and think of now as your preparatory period. You think, I really want to do this, and I’ll do it when the time comes. This is a way of living that postpones life. As long as we postpone life, we can never go anywhere and w... |
To be of use to someone. That is what my life is worth living for . . . ? | Let’s take a little break. Would you like some coffee? |
No! That’s totally wrong. There is no way that could be called freedom. That’s a diabolical way of thinking to coax one into evildoing. | You’ve probably been thinking of freedom as “release from organizations.” That breaking away from your home or school, your company or your nation is freedom. However, if you were to break away from your organization, for instance, you would not be able to gain real freedom. Unless one is unconcerned by other people’s ... |
A moment ago, you used the words “another philosophy,” but I’ve heard that your specialty is in Greek philosophy. | Yes, Greek philosophy has been central to my life ever since I was a teenager. The great intellectual figures: Socrates, Plato, Aristotle. I am translating a work by Plato at the moment, and I expect to spend the rest of my life studying classical Greek thought. |
Yes, I did. But honestly, I’m still not entirely certain about this point. | But I am sure that the reason people seek recognition is clear to you now. People want to like themselves. They want to feel that they have worth. In order to feel that, they want a feeling of contribution that tells them “I am of use to someone.” And they seek recognition from others as an easy means for gaining that ... |
Let’s change the question. All people are equal. They’re on the same level playing field. But actually, there’s a disparity here, isn’t there? Those who move forward are superior, and those who pursue them from behind are inferior. So we end up at the problem of superior and inferior, don’t we? | No, we do not. It does not matter if one is trying to walk in front of others or walk behind them. It is as if we are moving through a flat space that has no vertical axis. We do not walk in order to compete with someone. It is in trying to progress past who one is now that there is value. |
Another philosophy? What would that be? | My study is just over there. Go into it. It’s going to be a long night. I will go and make some hot coffee. THE FIRST NIGHT: Deny Trauma The young man entered the study and sat slouched in a chair. Why was he so determined to reject the philosopher’s theories? His reasons were abundantly clear. He lacked self-confidenc... |
Yes, there definitely is that aspect. | Because of one’s mind-set of not wanting to lose, one is unable to admit one’s mistake, the result being that one ends up choosing the wrong path. Admitting mistakes, conveying words of apology, and stepping down from power struggles—none of these things is defeat. The pursuit of superiority is not something that is ca... |
In other words, if one’s destination is to become a lawyer, it’s best to get there as quickly and as efficiently as one can. | Yes. And the road one takes to get to that destination is, in the sense that one’s goal has not yet been reached, incomplete. This is kinetic life. |
Individual psychology? Another odd term. So Adler was a disciple of Freud’s? | No, he was not. That misconception is common; we must dispel it. For one thing, Adler and Freud were relatively close in age, and the relationship they formed as researchers was founded upon equal footing. In this respect, Adler was very different from Jung, who revered Freud as a father figure. Though psychology prima... |
That’s all? | In general, all interpersonal relationship troubles are caused by intruding on other people’s tasks, or having one’s own tasks intruded on. Carrying out the separation of tasks is enough to change one’s interpersonal relationships dramatically. |
What are you saying? | I think this discussion has now reached the water’s edge. Whether you drink the water or not is entirely up to you. |
So you’re saying that the past doesn’t matter? | Yes, that is the standpoint of Adlerian psychology. |
I have a passing knowledge of the psychology of Freud and Jung. A fascinating field. | Yes, Freud and Jung are both renowned. Adler was one of the original core members of the Vienna Psychoanalytic Society, which was led by Freud. His ideas were counter to Freud’s, and he split from the group and proposed an “individual psychology” based on his own original theories. |
Right. | Well, I’m the same way. I have no desire to be disliked by other people. I would say that “No one would go so far as to actually want to be disliked” is a sharp insight. |
Aha! Now you’re showing your true colors! So are you going to retract your theory? | No, I am not. Unfortunately, you have almost no understanding of Adlerian psychology yet. The first step to change is knowing. |
This is getting interesting! Please go on! The Encouragement Approach | As you may recall from our discussion on the separation of tasks, I brought up the subject of intervention. This is the act of intruding on other people’s tasks. So why does a person intervene? Here, too, in the background, vertical relationships are at play. It is precisely because one perceives interpersonal relation... |
I must admit, you’re starting to lose me. Let me try to straighten things out a bit. First, at the gateway of interpersonal relations, we’ve got the separation of tasks, and as the goal, there’s community feeling. And you’re saying that community feeling is having “a sense of others as comrades” and “an awareness of... | It certainly does make things more difficult to understand if one takes Adler’s concept of community literally and tries to actually imagine it including the universe and inanimate objects. For the time being, suffice it to say that the scope of community is infinite. |
I want to ask you once again; you do believe that the world is, in all ways, a simple place? | Yes, this world is astonishingly simple and life itself is, too. |
Please don’t treat me like a fool! Look, I have friends. And I am building solid horizontal relationships with them. | Even so, I suspect that with your parents and your boss, and with your junior colleagues and other people as well, the relationships you are building are vertical ones. |
So after last time, I calmed myself down, focused, and thought things over. And yet, I’ve got to say, I still can’t agree with your theories. | Oh? What do you find questionable about them? |
Why not? | Because at the end of a competition, there are winners and losers. |
Yes! | Now, suppose one experiences a major natural disaster, and one’s response is to look back at the past in an etiological manner and say, “What could have caused such a thing to happen?” How meaningful would that be? An experience of hardship should be an opportunity to look ahead and think, What can I do from now on? |
Aha. I am starting to see what you meant when you said that the topic of today’s discussion was freedom. | That’s right. We are trying to talk about freedom now. Cut the Gordian Knot |
The courage to be happy. Well, let’s hear what kind of courage that should be. | Yes, that is an important point. |
I don’t know, it just doesn’t sit right with me. | Then let’s envision a scene in which your parents are vehemently opposing your choice of place of employment. They were in fact against it, weren’t they? |
Okay, I’ll accept that. I can certainly accept living earnestly here and now, and not setting up some fabricated line. But I don’t have any dreams or objectives in my life. I don’t know what dance to do. My here and now is nothing but utterly useless moments. | Not having objectives or the like is fine. Living earnestly here and now is itself a dance. One must not get too serious. Please do not confuse being earnest with being too serious. |
It would be the interpersonal relationships you have been mentioning. I have thought deeply about this matter. For instance, you might be blessed by great wealth but not have anyone who loves you; you have no comrades whom you could call friends, and you are not liked by anyone. This is a great misfortune. Another thin... | It is a crucial point. Let’s dig a little deeper. What is it about our interpersonal relationships that is robbing us of our freedom? |
Hmm. This is kind of confusing. When you speak of a lifestyle, do you mean a way of living? | Yes, you could put it that way. To be a little more accurate, it is the way one’s life should be. You probably think of disposition or personality as something with which you are endowed, without any connection to your will. In Adlerian psychology, however, lifestyle is thought of as something that you choose for yours... |
So one separates tasks there, too? | I reject that definitively. Adlerian psychology is not saying “have confidence in others unconditionally” on the basis of a moralistic system of values. Unconditional confidence is a means for making your interpersonal relationship with a person better and for building a horizontal relationship. If you do not have the ... |
You’re saying that taking advantage of someone is the other person’s task, and one can’t do anything about it? That I should be resigned, in an affirmative way? Your arguments always ignore our emotions. What does one do about all the anger and sadness one feels when one is taken advantage of? | When one is sad, one should be sad to one’s heart’s content. It is precisely when one tries to escape the pain and sadness that one gets stuck and ceases to be able to build deep relationships with anyone. Think about it this way. We can believe. And we can doubt. But we are aspiring to see others as our comrades. To b... |
What nonsense! There are so many ways I could refute that. Think of a company setting, for example. It wouldn’t really be feasible for the director and his new recruits to form relationships as equals, would it? Hierarchical relationships are part of the system of our society, and to ignore that is to ignore the social... | It is certainly important to respect one’s elders. In a company structure, it is only natural for there to be different levels of responsibility. I am not telling you to make friends with everyone, or behave as if you are close friends. Rather, what is important is to be equal in consciousness, and to assert that which... |
Wow, that’s nasty! An unpleasant mood, naturally. I’m sure that no one would want to get involved with a guy as warped as me. If there were anyone this wretched and bothersome in my vicinity, I’d keep my distance, too. | I see. Well, that settles it, then. |
In that case, I think I’m starting to get what you mean by the level of being, which you brought up last time. And I certainly haven’t given much thought to the fact that someday I won’t be able to work any longer or do anything on the level of acts. | Does one accept oneself on the level of acts, or on the level of being? This is truly a question that relates to the courage to be happy. You Can Be Happy Now |
A firm grasp on the truth . . . | Of course, just because one has arrived at affirmative resignation as one’s self-acceptance, it does not automatically follow that one finds community feeling. That is the reality. When one is switching from attachment to self to concern for others, the second key concept—confidence in others—becomes absolutely essenti... |
Now, the first thing I want to ask about is attachment to self. You are saying that one has to stop being attached to the “I” and make the switch to “concern for others.” I am sure it is exactly as you say—concern for others is important, I agree. But no matter what, we worry about ourselves; we look at ourselves all t... | Have you thought about why we worry about ourselves? |
So in a sense, they are getting into a superiority complex in which they are trying to make a show of their abilities? | Yes, in the sense that you have not been able to break out of vertical relationships, it would seem so. |
Now wait a minute. Are you saying that it doesn’t matter how sad I make my parents feel? | That’s right. It doesn’t matter. |
No, but that’s . . . | When trying to be recognized by others, almost all people treat satisfying other people’s expectations as the means to that end. And that is in accordance with the stream of thought of reward-and-punishment education that says one will be praised if one takes appropriate action. If, for example, the main point of your ... |
There’s no way I can accept such a simplistic definition. Look, I’m not forgetting what you told me before. You said that even though on the level of acts, one might not be of use to anyone, on the level of being, every person is of use. But if that’s the case, according to your logic, all human beings would be happy! | All human beings can be happy. But it must be understood that this does not mean all human beings are happy. Whether it is on the level of acts or on the level of being, one needs to feel that one is of use to someone. That is to say, one needs a feeling of contribution. |
Attachment to self? Concern for others? What’s all that about? Why Am I Only Interested in Myself? | Well, let’s consider this concretely. For purposes of clarity, in place of “attachment to self” I will use the word “self-centered.” In your view, someone who is self-centered is what sort of person? |
It’s obvious. Because we have different personalities, or I guess you could say dispositions. | Hmm. |
I will acknowledge that work has aspects of contribution to others. But the logic that says that officially one is contributing to others when, in actuality, one is doing it for oneself, is nothing other than hypocrisy. How do you explain that? | Imagine the following kind of scene. It’s after dinner at home, and there are still dishes left on the table. The children have gone off to their rooms, and the husband is sitting on the sofa watching television. It’s been left to the wife (me) to do the dishes and clear everything up. To make matters worse, the family... |
Where? | If I stay in my room all the time, without ever going out, my parents will worry. I can get all of my parents’ attention focused on me. They’ll be extremely careful around me and always handle me with kid gloves. On the other hand, if I take even one step out of the house, I’ll just become part of a faceless mass whom ... |
In the end, were you able to repair your relationship with your father? | Yes, of course. I think so. My father fell ill, and in the last few years of his life, it was necessary for me and my family to take care of him. Then one day, when I was taking care of him as usual, my father said, “Thank you.” I had not known my father possessed such a word in his vocabulary, and I was astonished and... |
Of course I would! | That’s what it means to be grateful on the level of being. Your mother might not be able to do anything in her critical condition that would be considered an act, but just by being alive, she would be supporting the psychological state of you and your family, and would therefore be of use. The same could be said for yo... |
Not self-affirmation, but self-acceptance? | That’s right. There is a clear difference. Self-affirmation is making suggestions to oneself, such as “I can do it” or “I am strong,” even when something is simply beyond one’s ability. It is a notion that can bring about a superiority complex, and may even be termed a way of living in which one lies to oneself. With s... |
Then, please tell me: Did you eventually become happy? | Of course. |
Yes, that’s right. People, myself included, aim for the top of the mountain. | But if life were climbing a mountain in order to reach the top, then the greater part of life would end up being “en route.” That is to say, one’s “real life” would begin with one’s trek on the mountainside, and the distance one has traveled up until that point would be a “tentative life” led by a “tentative me.” |
Encouragement, huh? Right, that’s the term you mentioned some time ago. You said you’d explain at a later date. | When one is not following through with one’s tasks, it is not because one is without ability. Adlerian psychology tells us that the issue here is not one of ability but simply that “one has lost the courage to face one’s tasks.” And if that is the case, the thing to do before anything else is to recover that lost coura... |
But why doesn’t he want to go out? That’s where the problem resides. | Well, think of it from the parents’ view. How would you feel if your child were shut up in a room? |
And what is that? | I doubt you have heard much about it. It’s the “superiority complex.” |
Separating tasks is basically an idea that boils down to defining a boundary and saying, “I am I, and you are you.” Sure, there are probably fewer interpersonal relationship problems that way. But would you really say that such a way of life is right? To me, it just seems like an extremely self-centered, misguided indi... | It is true that the term “individual psychology,” which Adler coined, has certain aspects that may invite misunderstanding. I will explain what I mean now. First of all, etymologically speaking, the word “individual” has the meaning “indivisible.” |
Ah, it’s getting confusing again. You said that I see other people as enemies and can’t think of them as comrades because I’m running away from my life tasks. What was that supposed to mean, anyway? | Suppose, for instance, that there is a certain Mr. A whom you don’t like because he has some flaws that are hard to forgive. |
Well, community feeling is definitely an attractive idea. The sense of belonging, that “it’s okay to be here,” for example, which we possess as a fundamental desire. I think it is a brilliant insight into our existence as social creatures. | It’s a brilliant insight, except . . . ? |
Ha-ha! It’s almost like you’ve set up a surveillance camera in my room! But yes, it’s true. I can behave freely when I’m alone. | Anyone can behave like a king when they’re alone. So this is an issue that should be considered in the context of interpersonal relations. Because it isn’t that you don’t have an innocent self—it is only that you can’t do such things in front of others. |
And “confidence” in this case is . . . ? | It is doing without any set conditions whatsoever when believing in others. Even if one does not have sufficient objective grounds for trusting someone, one believes. One believes unconditionally without concerning oneself with such things as security. That is confidence. |
Your argument not only denies the making of plans in life, it goes as far as to deny even making efforts. Take, for example, the life of someone who has dreamed of being a violinist ever since childhood, and who, after years of strict training, has at long last become an active member in a celebrated orchestra. Or anot... | So in other words, like mountain climbers aiming to reach the mountaintop, they have persevered on their paths? |
No distinction of rank for people. Idealistically speaking, I suppose so. But aren’t we trying to have an honest discussion about reality now? Would you really say, for instance, that I, an adult, and a child who is still struggling with his arithmetic are equal? | In terms of the amount of knowledge and experience, and then the amount of responsibility that can be taken, there are bound to be differences. The child might not be able to tie his shoes properly, or figure out complicated mathematical equations, or be able to take the same degree of responsibility as an adult when p... |
Last time, you spoke about whether one thinks of other people as enemies or as comrades. You said that if one becomes able to see others as one’s comrades, one’s way of looking at the world should change as well. That certainly makes sense. I felt quite convinced the other day when I left here. But then what happened? ... | Like what? |
Of course, I have different kinds of relationships. That’s how it is for everyone. | This is a very important point. Does one build vertical relationships, or does one build horizontal relationships? This is an issue of lifestyle, and human beings are not so clever as to be able to have different lifestyles available whenever the need arises. In other words, deciding that one is “equal to this person” ... |
You’re talking about goals again? As I said earlier, it’s just that I admire him and I think I’d be happier if I were like him. | You think you’d be happier if you were like him. Which means that you are not happy now, right? |
So even if the child hasn’t been studying at all, you’re saying that, since it’s his task, I should just let him be? | One has to pay attention. Adlerian psychology does not recommend the noninterference approach. Noninterference is the attitude of not knowing, and not even being interested in knowing what the child is doing. Instead, it is by knowing what the child is doing that one protects him. If it’s studying that is the issue, on... |
Assigned to it by the individual? What does that mean? | During the war, my grandfather was firebombed, and his face was severely burned. In every way, it was a horrendous and inhumane event. It would certainly have been within the realm of possibility for him to choose a lifestyle with the perspective of “the world is a horrible place” or “people are my enemies.” However, w... |
Everyone, without exception? | No exceptions whatsoever. |
Would you be more specific? | First, let’s look at the tasks of work. Regardless of the kind of work, there is no work that can be completed all by oneself. For instance, I am usually here in my study writing a manuscript. Writing is completely autonomous work that I cannot have someone else do for me. But then there is the presence of the editor a... |
Okay, I guess. | The way to understand Adlerian psychology is simple. Right now, you are thinking, If I were to have confidence in someone unconditionally, I would just get taken advantage of. However, you are not the one who decides whether or not to take advantage. That is the other person’s task. All you need to do is think, What sh... |
I am walking ahead of you? | You certainly are. We walk on the same ground, and you are moving on ahead of me. |
That’s not the issue I am talking about. Sure, interpersonal relationships are probably a big problem. That much I acknowledge. But to say that everything comes down to interpersonal relationship problems, now that’s really an extreme position. What about the worry of being cut off from interpersonal relationships, the... | There is no such thing as worry that is completely defined by the individual; so-called internal worry does not exist. Whatever the worry that may arise, the shadows of other people are always present. |
The distance and depth in one’s interpersonal relationships? | The interpersonal relationships that a single individual has no choice but to confront when attempting to live as a social being—these are the life tasks. They are indeed tasks in the sense that one has no choice but to confront them. |
Why not? | The reason is clear. Being praised is what leads people to form the belief that they have no ability. |
Contribution to others? | Is to act, in some way, on one’s comrades. To attempt to contribute. That is “contribution to others.” |
It is because one gives something that one can find one’s refuge? | That’s right. A sense of belonging is something that one acquires through one’s own efforts—it is not something one is endowed with at birth. Community feeling is the much-debated key concept of Adlerian psychology. It was certainly a concept that the young man found difficult to accept at first. And naturally, it upse... |
But what part of this is open to debate? It seems like a completely irrefutable point. The issue is community. What does it consist of? When you hear the | word “community,” what images come to mind? |
I see. The points of conflict seem a bit clearer. But look, if we go by your version, wouldn’t that ultimately mean that there’s no reason my friend can’t go out anymore? Because you’re saying that past incidents don’t matter. I’m sorry, but that’s completely out of the question. There has to be some reason behind his ... | Indeed, there would be no explanation. So in Adlerian psychology, we do not think about past “causes” but rather about present “goals.” |
No way! That’s a tired-out old man’s argument. Young folks like me have to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps amid the tension of competition. It’s because I don’t have a rival running alongside me that I can’t outdo myself. What’s wrong with thinking of interpersonal relationships as competitive? | If that rival was someone you could call a comrade, it’s possible that it would lead to self-improvement. But in many cases, a competitor will not be your comrade. |
Hmm, true. | This is the other aspect of the inferiority complex. Those who manifest their inferiority complexes in words or attitudes, who say that “A is the situation, so B cannot be done,” are implying that if only it were not for A, they’d be capable and have value. |
Yes, I suppose it can’t be helped. | But Adler does not accept restricting one’s partner. If the person seems to be happy, one can frankly celebrate that condition. That is love. Relationships in which people restrict each other eventually fall apart. |
That’s probably how it’d be framed in your stock teleology approach. But in my case, it’s different. | Then suppose you had done the separation of tasks. How would things be? In other words, no matter how much your boss tries to vent his unreasonable anger at you, that is not your task. The unreasonable emotions are tasks for your boss to deal with himself. There is no need to cozy up to him, or to yield to him to the p... |
Present goals? | Your friend is insecure, so he can’t go out. Think about it the other way around. He doesn’t want to go out, so he’s creating a state of anxiety. |
Let’s save the discussion about happiness for later and address change first. Everyone wishes they could change. I know I do, and I’m sure anyone you might stop and ask on the street would agree. But why does everyone feel they want to change? There’s only one answer: because they cannot change. If it were easy for peo... | Well, in response, I’d ask why you are so adamant that people can’t change. |
Wait a minute! I’m supposed to just let that one slip by? “To get rid of one’s problems, all one can do is live in the universe all alone”? What do you mean by that? If you lived all alone, wouldn’t you be horribly lonely? | Oh, but being alone isn’t what makes you feel lonely. Loneliness is having other people and society and community around you, and having a deep sense of being excluded from them. To feel lonely, we need other people. That is to say, it is only in social contexts that a person becomes an “individual.” |
Hmm, I guess the first thing that comes to mind is the kind of person who’s like a tyrant. Someone who’s domineering, has no qualms about being a nuisance to others, and thinks only about things that are to his own advantage. He thinks that the world revolves around him, and he behaves like a dictator who rules by abso... | I see. |
Then what about in a situation like this? Say there’s a guy who’s unmarried, who has lost his job and his friends, and who avoids the company of other people and just lives off the money his parents left him. So he’s basically running away from all the tasks of work and tasks of friendship and tasks of love. Would you ... | Of course. Say he goes out to buy a loaf of bread. He pays for it with a coin. That coin does not simply go back to the bakers of the bread. It goes to the producers of flour and butter, to the people who deliver those ingredients, to the purveyors of the gasoline used by the delivery vehicles, to people in the oil-pro... |
When life is taken as a series of moments, as existing only here and now, what meaning could it possibly have? For what was I born, and for what am I enduring this life of hardship until I reach my last gasp? The point of it all is beyond me. | What is the meaning of life? What are people living for? When someone posed these questions to Adler, this was his answer: “Life in general has no meaning.” |
Yes, I last came about a month ago. I have been thinking about the meaning of community feeling since then. | So how do you feel about it now? |
Why? Some people are born into affluent circumstances with parents who are nice, and others are born poor with bad parents. Because that’s how the world is. And I don’t really want to get into this sort of subject, but things aren’t equal in the world and differences between race, nationality, and ethnicity remain as d... | It is you who is ignoring reality. Does fixating on what you are born with change the reality? We are not replaceable machines. It is not replacement we need but renewal. |
I have resolved to not start liking myself? | Perhaps this is something you should think about yourself. What sort of shortcomings do you think you have? |
Society’s smallest unit, huh? I’d say the family. | No, it is “you and I.” When there are two people, society emerges in their presence, and community emerges there too. To gain an understanding of the community feeling that Adler speaks of, it is advisable to use “you and I” as the starting point. |
Believing unconditionally? So it’s back to your pet notion of neighborly love? | Of course, if one believes in others without setting any conditions whatsoever, there will be times when one gets taken advantage of. Just like the guarantor of a debt, there are times when one may suffer damages. The attitude of continuing to believe in someone even in such instances is what we call confidence. |
There is something about this “affirmative resignation” that sounds pessimistic. It’s just too bleak if the upshot of all this lengthy discussion is resignation. | Is that so? Resignation has the connotation of seeing clearly with fortitude and acceptance. Having a firm grasp on the truth of things—that is resignation. There is nothing pessimistic about it. |
Very distressed, to put it simply. I wonder why I’ve come to be disliked, and what I did or said that might have been offensive. I think I should have interacted with the person in a different way, and I just brood and brood over it and am ridden with guilt. | Not wanting to be disliked by other people. To human beings, this is an entirely natural desire, and an impulse. Kant, the giant of modern philosophy, called this desire “inclination.” |
I don’t care for all this talk about God. Think more straightforwardly and more plainly about the mentality of real, everyday people. What about the desire to be recognized socially, for example? Why does a person want to climb the corporate ladder? Why does a person seek status and fame? It’s the wish to be recognized... | Then, if you get that recognition, would you say that you’ve really found happiness? Do people who have established their social status truly feel happy? |
What another person thinks of you—if he or she likes you or dislikes you— that is that person’s task, not mine. Is that what you are saying? | That is what separating is. You are worried about other people looking at you. You are worried about being judged by other people. That is why you are constantly craving recognition from others. Now, why are you worried about other people looking at you, anyway? Adlerian psychology has an easy answer. You haven’t done ... |
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