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It’s simple. It’s through being recognized by others that each of us can truly feel we have value. It is through recognition from others that one becomes able to wipe away one’s feelings of inferiority. One learns to have confidence in oneself. Yes, it’s an issue of value. I think you mentioned it last time: that the f... | Now let’s consider a familiar setting. For example, let’s say you’ve been picking up litter around your workplace. The thing is, no one seems to notice at all. Or if they do, no one has given you any appreciation for what you’ve done, or even said a single word of thanks. Well, will you keep on picking up litter from n... |
Comrades? | Earlier, didn’t you say, “I can’t celebrate other people’s happiness with all my heart”? You think of interpersonal relationships as competition; you perceive other people’s happiness as “my defeat,” and that is why you can’t celebrate it. However, once one is released from the schema of competition, the need to triump... |
Then I’ll ask about personal grudges. Surely even you get angry sometimes— for instance, if someone hurls abuse at you for no particular reason—don’t you? | No, I do not. |
Courage? | Yes, it’s a matter of courage. |
The most obvious one is the existence of parents. I could never think of parents as enemies. During my childhood, especially, they were my greatest guardians who raised and protected me. In that regard, I am sincerely grateful. Still, my parents were strict people. I told you about this last time, that they always comp... | Then, what did you end up doing? |
Adlerian psychology is a psychology of courage, and at the same time it is a psychology of use . . . | We humans are not so fragile as to simply be at the mercy of etiological (cause-and-effect) traumas. From the standpoint of teleology, we choose our lives and our lifestyles ourselves. We have the power to do that. |
What? What are you talking about? | Imagine that you are standing on a theater stage. If the house lights are on, you’ll probably be able to see all the way to the back of the hall. But if you’re under a bright spotlight, you won’t be able to make out even the front row. That’s exactly how it is with our lives. It’s because we cast a dim light on our ent... |
No, hold on. This is getting confusing. First, you tell me that the world is a simple place. That it seems complicated only because of me, and that my subjective view is making it that way. And also, that life seems complicated just because I make it complicated, all of which is what makes it difficult for me to live h... | Yes. |
To unravel the threads? | Last time, I spoke of the separation of tasks as a prescription for resolving interpersonal relationship problems. But interpersonal relationships are not something that end just because one has separated the tasks. The separating of tasks is actually the point of departure for interpersonal relations. Today, let’s tak... |
Does that mean you dropped out of competition? That you somehow accepted defeat? | No. I withdrew from places that are preoccupied with winning and losing. When one is trying to be oneself, competition will inevitably get in the way. |
If you are going to state things so forcibly, I’d like a thorough explanation. To begin with, what is the difference you refer to between etiology and teleology? | Suppose you’ve got a cold with a high fever, and you go to see the doctor. Then, suppose the doctor says the reason for your sickness is that yesterday, when you went out, you weren’t dressed properly, and that’s why you caught a cold. Now, would you be satisfied with that? |
Wait? Why is that? | Your partner’s casual remarks, her tone when talking to someone on the phone, the times when you can’t reach her . . . As long as you are looking with doubt in your eyes, everything around you will appear to be evidence that she is cheating on you. Even if she is not. |
What are you saying exactly? She was asking you to cure it, wasn’t she? | What do you think was the scariest thing to her, the thing she wanted to avoid most of all? It was that the man would reject her, of course. The fact that her unrequited love would negate everything for her, the very existence and possibility of “I.” This aspect is deeply present in adolescent unrequited love. But as l... |
But then you could just rephrase that as, “If one could live in the universe all alone, one’s problems would go away,” couldn’t you? | We can repeat it as many times as you like: All problems are interpersonal relationship problems. This is a concept that runs to the very root of Adlerian psychology. If all interpersonal relationships were gone from this world, which is to say if one were alone in the universe and all other people were gone, all manne... |
No, that is not true. It is precisely because we have the ability to view mind and body, reason and emotion, and the conscious and the unconscious mind as clearly separate from each other that we can gain a correct understanding of people. Isn’t that a given? | Certainly it is true that the mind and the body are separate things, that reason and emotion are different, and that both the conscious mind and the unconscious mind exist. That said, however, when one flies into a rage and shouts at another person, it is “I as a whole” who is choosing to shout. One would never think o... |
So you are afflicted by the poison of nihilism, after all. You say that, ultimately, we live thinking about “I”? And that that’s okay? What a wretched way of thinking! | It is not nihilism at all. Rather, it’s the opposite. When one seeks recognition from others, and concerns oneself only with how one is judged by others, in the end, one is living other people’s lives. |
Ah, if only I’d known! I wish I had known this ten years ago, or even just five years ago. If only I had known five years ago, before I got a job . . . | No, that is not the case. You say you wish you had known this ten years ago. It is because Adler’s thought resonates with you now that you are thinking this. No one knows how you would have felt about it ten years ago. This discussion was something that you needed to hear now. |
Strong medicine! Yes, I agree. | But if you change your lifestyle—the way of giving meaning to the world and yourself—then both your way of interacting with the world and your behavior will have to change as well. Do not forget this point: One will have to change. You, just as you are, have to choose your lifestyle. It might seem hard, but it is reall... |
You were always holding the interpersonal relationship cards? | Yes. Many people think that the interpersonal relationship cards are held by the other person. That is why they wonder, How does that person feel about me? and end up living in such a way as to satisfy the wishes of other people. But if they can grasp the separation of tasks, they will notice that they are holding all ... |
I fabricated it? You’ve got to be joking! | Then why did you raise your voice? |
I don’t want to succeed? What kind of reasoning is that? | It’s simply that it’s scary to take even one step forward; also, that you don’t want to make realistic efforts. You don’t want to change so much that you’d be willing to sacrifice the pleasures you enjoy now—for instance, the time you spend playing and engaged in hobbies. In other words, you’re not equipped with the co... |
Would they attain their objectives that way? | Think of it this way: Life is a series of moments, which one lives as if one were dancing, right now, around and around each passing instant. And when one happens to survey one’s surroundings, one realizes, I guess I’ve made it this far. Among those who have danced the dance of the violin, there are people who stay the... |
Hmm. What you are saying sounds positive in various respects, but it has a negative ring to it as well. | Here I use the term “affirmative resignation.” |
But . . . That’s harsh. Your philosophy is too tough! | Indeed, it is strong medicine. |
It wasn’t inferior? | It was not, in fact, lacking in or lesser than something. Sure, my 61 inches is less than the average height, and an objectively measured number. At first glance, one might think it inferior. But the issue is really what sort of meaning I attribute to that height, what sort of value I give it. |
Well, I see what you’re getting at—the main objective, which is to build deep relationships. But still, being taken advantage of is scary, and that’s the reality, isn’t it? | If it is a shallow relationship, when it falls apart the pain will be slight. And the joy that relationship brings each day will also be slight. It is precisely because one can gain the courage to enter into deeper relationships by having confidence in others that the joy of one’s interpersonal relations can grow, and ... |
Do you mean that one has to choose one or the other—vertical relationships or horizontal relationships? | Absolutely, yes. If you are building even one vertical relationship with someone, before you even notice what is happening, you will be treating all your interpersonal relations as vertical. |
Look, I have been dissatisfied for ages. The adults of the world tell the young people, “Do something you like to do.” And they say it with smiles on their faces as if they might actually be understanding people, as if they were on the side of the young. But it’s all lip service, which comes out only because those youn... | Oh, goodness, you’re getting all bent out of shape. So what you are saying, in other words, is that you want someone to intervene to some extent? That you want another person to decide your path? |
Okay, but there’s still a problem. It’s the statement “All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.” I can see that the feeling of inferiority is an interpersonal relationship worry, and that it has certain effects on us. And I accept as logical the idea that life is not a competition. I cannot see other peopl... | The issue of interpersonal relationships is so important that no matter how broadly it is addressed, it never seems to suffice. Last time I told you, “What you are lacking is the courage to be happy.” You remember that, right? |
So, is this your idealistic argument or is it a workable theory? What I mean is, are you saying that any issues you or I face in life are simple too? | Yes, of course. |
Yes, please. I am a human being. I am not a machine. I’ve been told that I’m all out of courage, but I can’t just get a refill of courage as if I were filling up my tank with fuel. | All right. But we’ve gone quite late again tonight, so let’s continue this next time. |
Does that really fix things? | Then it’s the separation of tasks. It’s true that my father and I had a complicated relationship. He was a stubborn person, and I could never imagine his feelings being able to change easily. Moreover, there was a strong possibility that he had even forgotten ever raising his hands against me. However, at the time of m... |
What do you mean? | It might be hard to understand from your own example, so I’ll use another. I use this study for simple counseling sessions. It must have been quite a few years ago, but there was a female student who came by. She sat right where you are sitting now, in the same chair. Well, her concern was her fear of blushing. She tol... |
There are such frameworks as one’s household, school, workplace, or local society. | When Adler refers to community, he goes beyond the household, school, workplace, and local society, and treats it as all-inclusive, covering not only nations and all of humanity but also the entire axis of time from the past to the future —and he includes plants and animals and even inanimate objects. |
Please, there is just one more thing I want to ask you. | What is it? |
All right. I readily admit that I do not have the courage to take steps toward self-acceptance or confidence in others. But is this really the fault only of the “I”? Isn’t it also actually a problem brought about by other people, who accuse me unreasonably and attack me? | To be sure, not everyone in the world is a good and virtuous person. One goes through any number of unpleasant experiences in one’s interpersonal relations. But there is something one must not get wrong at this juncture: the fact that, in every instance, it is “that person” who attacks you who has the problem, and it i... |
So if I have lived earnestly here and now, those moments will always be complete? | The greatest life-lie of all is to not live here and now. It is to look at the past and the future, cast a dim light on one’s entire life, and believe that one has been able to see something. Until now, you have turned away from the here and now and shone a light only on invented pasts and futures. You have told a grea... |
Maybe so, but . . . | Further, you harbor an inferiority complex about education and think, I’m not well educated, so I can’t succeed. Put the other way around, the reasoning can be, If only I were well educated, I could be really successful. |
No, there’s no need to run away from it. If someone wants to start a fight, it’s fine to accept it. Because it’s the other guy who’s at fault, anyway. You can bash his nose in, the stupid fool. With words, that is. | Now let’s say you take control of the quarrel. And then the other man, who was seeking to defeat you, withdraws in a sportsmanlike manner. The thing is, the power struggle doesn’t end there. Having lost the dispute, he rushes on to the next stage. |
A life without a destination, who ever heard of such a thing? Who would acknowledge such an unsteady life, that bends whichever way the wind blows? | The kind of life that you speak of, which tries to reach a destination, may be termed a “kinetic (dynamic) life.” By contrast, the kind of dancing life I am talking about could be called an “energeial (actual-active-state) life.” |
Why would he want to get in a fight? | He wants to win. He wants to prove his power by winning. |
You are saying that the essence of work is contribution to others? | Making money is a major factor too, of course. It is something akin to that Dostoevsky quote you happened upon: “Money is coined freedom.” But there are people who have so much money that they could never use it all. And many of these people are continually busy with their work. Why do they work? Are they driven by bou... |
Ah, I see now. Under that gentle-looking mask you wear, you’re terribly nihilistic! Whether we’re talking about anger or my reclusive friend, all your insights are stuffed with feelings of distrust for human beings! How to Live Without Being Controlled by the Past | How am I being nihilistic? |
You’re joking! My friend has imagined his anxiety and fear? So would you go so far as saying that my friend is just pretending to be sick? | He is not pretending to be sick. The anxiety and fear your friend is feeling are real. On occasion, he might also suffer from migraines and violent stomach cramps. However, these too are symptoms that he has created in order to achieve the goal of not going out. |
Huh, I didn’t know that. | In Adler’s native German, the word is Minderwertigkeitsgefühl, which means a feeling (Gefühl) of having less (minder) worth (Wert). So “feeling of inferiority” has to do with one’s value judgment of oneself. |
I guess that’s one way of putting it. The way I am now, I am definitely an “en route” person. | Now, suppose you didn’t make it to the mountaintop, what would that mean for your life? With accidents and diseases and the like, people don’t always make it all the way, and mountain climbing itself is fraught with pitfalls and often ends in failure. So one’s life would be interrupted “en route,” with just this “tenta... |
First, let’s plan the points of discussion. You say people can change. Then you take it a step further, saying that everyone can find happiness. | Yes, everyone, without exception. |
Yes. I am searching for the truth. The truth about life. | I have never felt the need to take in disciples and have never done so. However, since becoming a student of Greek philosophy and then coming into contact with another philosophy, I have been waiting for a long time for a visit from a young person like you. |
Ha-ha! Now you’re talking big! This is getting interesting. I’m going to start arguing with you immediately. | I am not going to run away or hide anything. Let’s take our time debating this. So, your position is ‘people cannot change?’ |
So I should be selfish? | Do not behave without regard for others. To understand this, it is necessary to understand the idea in Adlerian psychology known as “separation of tasks.” |
What do you mean by that? | Just like the young woman with the fear of blushing, who was afraid of being rejected by the man, you are afraid of being negated by other people. You’re afraid of being treated disparagingly, being refused, and sustaining deep mental wounds. You think that instead of getting entangled in such situations, it would be b... |
Huh? | Think about it this way. Your friend had the goal of not going out beforehand, and he’s been manufacturing a state of anxiety and fear as a means to achieve that goal. In Adlerian psychology, this is called “teleology.” |
Think about it. Simply put, you deny human emotion. You say that emotions are nothing more than tools, that they’re just the means for achieving goals. But listen. If you deny emotion, you’re upholding a view that tries to deny our humanity, too. Because it’s our emotions, and the fact that we are swayed by all sorts o... | I am not denying that emotion exists. Everyone has emotions. That goes without saying. But if you are going to tell me that people are beings who can’t resist emotion, I’d argue against that. Adlerian psychology is a form of thought, a philosophy that is diametrically opposed to nihilism. We are not controlled by emoti... |
I don’t really get that. Could you give me some concrete examples? | Let’s say you and a friend have been discussing the current political situation. Before long, it turns into a heated argument, and neither of you is willing to accept any differences of opinion until finally it reaches the point where he starts engaging in personal attacks—that you’re stupid, and it’s because of people... |
So one should be egocentric and live however one pleases? | Separating one’s tasks is not an egocentric thing. Intervening in other people’s tasks is essentially an egocentric way of thinking, however. Parents force their children to study; they meddle in their life and marriage choices. That is nothing other than an egocentric way of thinking. |
That’s all? | Yes. The most important thing is to not judge other people. “Judgment” is a word that comes out of vertical relationships. If one is building horizontal relationships, there will be words of more straightforward gratitude and respect and joy. |
Well, that does sound rather familiar. | In Adlerian psychology, we think of this as a way of living that is lacking in “harmony of life.” It is a way of living in which one sees only a part of things but judges the whole. |
So due to your changing, did your father change too? | When we speak of interpersonal relationships, it always seems to be two-person relationships and one’s relationship to a large group that come to mind, but first it is oneself. When one is tied to the desire for recognition, the interpersonal relationship cards will always stay in the hands of other people. Does one en... |
It’s exactly as you say! And it’s not as if the family he’s supporting has any say in the matter, either. You can’t argue with your father when he growls with a violent tone of voice, “It’s thanks to me that there’s food on the table.” | Such a father has probably been able to recognize his own worth only on the level of acts. He works all those hours, brings in enough money to support a family, and is recognized by society—and, on that basis, he views himself as having greater worth than the other members of his family. For each and every one of us, h... |
Okay. | However, in love relationships and marital relationships, there is the option of separating. So even a husband and wife who have been together for many years can separate if continuing the relationship becomes distressful. In a parent-child relationship, however, in principle this cannot be done. If romantic love is a ... |
Well, I never would have imagined I’d visit a philosopher’s place to hear about being disliked. | I am well aware that this is not an easy thing to swallow. It will probably take some time to chew over and digest. If we go any further with this today, I think you won’t be able to keep it in your head. So I would like to talk to you about one more thing, a personal matter that relates to the separation of tasks, and... |
All right. Well, suppose I have managed to attain self-acceptance. And that I have attained confidence in others, too. What kind of changes would there be in me then? | First, one accepts one’s irreplaceable “this me” just as it is. That is self- acceptance. Then, one places unconditional confidence in other people. That is confidence in others. You can accept yourself, and you can have confidence in others. So what are other people to you now? |
Yes, they were. I wouldn’t go so far as saying they were vehemently opposed, but they did make various snide remarks. | Well, let’s exaggerate it and say they were vehemently opposed. Your father was ranting and raving with emotion, and your mother was protesting your decision with tears in her eyes. They absolutely do not approve of you becoming a librarian, and if you will not take on the family business like your brother has, they ma... |
How does one go about separating them? | One does not intrude on other people’s tasks. That’s all. |
No way! Enough joking around. Being of use to someone just by being here —that’s got to be straight out of some new religion. | Well, for example, suppose your mother has a car accident. Her condition is serious, and her life may be in danger. At a time like that, you would not be wondering if your mother “did something,” or anything of the sort. More than likely, you will just be thinking you’ll be glad if she makes it, and you’re glad she is ... |
Because that’s a fact—I really don’t have any strong points. | You’re wrong. You notice only your shortcomings because you’ve resolved to not start liking yourself. In order to not like yourself, you don’t see your strong points and focus only on your shortcomings. First, understand this point. |
Then, what about with shut-ins, for example? I mean, with someone like my friend. Even then, would you say it’s the separation of tasks, don’t intervene, and it has no connection to the parents? | Can he break out of the shut-in situation or not? Or, in what way can he break out of it? In principle, this is a task that the person has to resolve himself. It is not for the parents to intervene. Nevertheless, as they are not complete strangers, some form of assistance is probably needed. At this point, the most imp... |
Wait a minute! Are you denying the existence of trauma altogether? | Yes, I am. Adamantly. |
What is irresponsible about it? | None of the responsibility is yours? |
But can you say for sure that feelings of inferiority are really a problem of interpersonal relationships? Even the kind of person who is regarded socially as a success, who doesn’t need to debase himself in relationships with other people, still has some feelings of inferiority? Even the businessman who amasses enormo... | Adler recognizes that feelings of inferiority are something everyone has. There’s nothing bad about feelings of inferiority themselves. |
Be disliked by other people—is that what you are saying? | What I am saying is, don’t be afraid of being disliked. |
I’d be worried, of course. I’d want to help him return to society, I’d want him to be well, and I’d wonder if I’d raised him improperly. I’m sure I would be seriously concerned and try in every way imaginable to help him back to a normal existence. | That is where the problem is. |
Ah, I’m getting confused . . . What is this about a journey? | What kind of goal is the act of going on a journey? Suppose you are going on a journey to Egypt. Would you try to arrive at the Great Pyramid of Giza as efficiently and quickly as possible, and then head straight back home by the shortest route? One would not call that a “journey.” You should be on a journey the moment... |
I am sure that if one could understand the separation of tasks and put it into practice, one’s interpersonal relationships would all at once become free. But I still can’t accept it. | Go on. I’m listening. |
Do you mean the “contribution to others” you mentioned earlier? | Yes. And this is an important point: When we speak of contribution to others, it doesn’t matter if the contribution is not a visible one. |
Then, suppose your own child had shut himself in, what would you do? Please answer this not as a philosopher but as a parent. | First, I myself would think, This is the child’s task. I would try not to intervene in his shut-in situation, and I would refrain from focusing too much attention on it. Then I would send a message to him to the effect that I am ready to assist him whenever he is in need. In that way, the child, having sensed a change ... |
Does this go beyond parent-child relationships? | Yes, of course. In Adlerian psychology counseling, for instance, we do not think of the client’s changing or not changing as the task of the counselor. |
Yes, she clearly didn’t have any use for it anymore. | That’s right. Now, keeping this student’s story in mind, let’s think about your problems. You say that, at present, you notice only your shortcomings, and it’s unlikely that you’ll ever come to like yourself. And then you said, “I’m sure that no one would want to get involved with a guy as warped as me.” I’m sure you u... |
We are not the same, but we are equal? | That’s right. Everyone is different. Don’t mix up that difference with good and bad, and superior and inferior. Whatever differences we may have, we are all equal. |
Is distance necessary even in the kind of relationship that parents and children have? | Of course. Earlier you said that the separation of tasks is something that treads on the other person’s goodwill. That is a notion that is tied to reward. It’s the idea that when another person does something for you, you have to do something in return—even if that person does not want anything. Rather than responding ... |
Yes, there was a student at the school I went to who stuttered. That must be hard to deal with, both for the person who has it and for his family, too. | Why is stammering hard to deal with? The view in Adlerian psychology is that people who suffer from stammering are concerned only about their own way of speaking, and they have feelings of inferiority and see their lives as unbearably hard. And they become too self-conscious as a result and start tripping over their wo... |
Be earnest but not too serious. | That’s right. Life is always simple, not something that one needs to get too serious about. If one is living each moment earnestly, there is no need to get too serious. And there is another thing I would like you to keep in mind: When one has adopted an energeial viewpoint, life is always complete. |
I should start? | That’s right. Without regard to whether other people are cooperative or not. |
So children who commit delinquent acts are engaging in the pursuit of easy superiority, too? | Yes, they are. All types of problem behavior, from refusing to attend school, to wrist cutting, to underage drinking and smoking, and so on, are forms of the pursuit of easy superiority. And your shut-in friend, whom you told me about at the beginning, is engaging in it, too. When a child engages in problem behavior, h... |
It denies the desire for recognition? | There is no need to be recognized by others. Actually, one must not seek recognition. This point cannot be overstated. |
You do. | So if the here and now of everyone in the world is due to their past incidents, according to you, wouldn’t things turn out very strangely? Don’t you see? Everyone who has grown up abused by his or her parents would have to suffer the same effects as your friend and become a recluse, or the whole idea just doesn’t hold ... |
Absolutely true. | By doing that, my position becomes superior to other people’s, and I can become special. Quite a few people try to be “special” by adopting this kind of attitude when they are sick or injured, or suffering the mental anguish of heartbreak. |
But that’s obvious! “The courage to be normal”—what truly dreadful words. Are Adler and this philosopher really telling me to choose such a path? To go about my life as just another soul among the utterly ordinary, faceless masses? I’m no genius, of course. Maybe “normal” is the only choice I have. Maybe I will just ha... | All right. When you speak of lofty goals, I am guessing that you have an image of something like a mountain climber aiming for the top. |
I’m sure you have already noticed. First of all, there’s my personality. I don’t have any self-confidence, and I’m always pessimistic about everything. And I guess I’m too self-conscious, because I worry about what other people see, and then, I live with a constant distrust of other people. I can never act naturally; t... | When you go about listing your shortcomings like that, what kind of mood does it put you in? |
I believe you, too. Yes, let’s walk together. And thank you for all your time. | Thank you, too. |
The next stage? | Yes. It’s the revenge stage. Though he has withdrawn for the time being, he will be scheming some revenge in another place and another form, and will reappear with an act of retaliation. |
It’s impossible! I can’t do it! | Why? The youth was devastated by the separation of tasks that the philosopher had begun describing. When one thought of all one’s problems as being in one’s interpersonal relationships, the separation of tasks was effective. Just by having this viewpoint, the world would become quite simple. But there was no flesh and ... |
But that’s just human nature! | I have a reading group that meets on a regular basis, and one of the participants has a stammer. It comes out sometimes when it’s his turn to read. But not a single person there is the sort who would laugh at him for that. Everyone just sits quietly and waits in a quite natural way for the next words to come out. I am ... |
I cannot tell yet if it is I who have changed, or if it is the world that I can see from that vantage point that has changed. But there is one thing I can say with conviction: Here and now is shining brightly! Yes, it is so bright that I can see almost nothing of tomorrow. | I believe that you have drunk the water. So young friend who walks ahead, shall we walk together? |
Yes, I certainly did! | One more time, I give you the words of Adler: “Someone has to start. Other people might not be cooperative, but that is not connected to you. My advice is this: You should start. With no regard to whether others are cooperative or not.” |
Hmm. | Her story certainly isn’t unusual. Students preparing for their exams think, If I pass, life will be rosy. Company workers think, If I get transferred, everything will go well. But even when those wishes are fulfilled, in many cases nothing about their situations changes at all. |
Huh . . . | Now, how can that goal be realized? The answer is easy. Just find your shortcomings, start disliking yourself, and become someone who doesn’t enter into interpersonal relationships. That way, if you can shut yourself into your own shell, you won’t have to interact with anyone, and you’ll even have a justification ready... |
Hmm. That reminds me of a line that the writer Kurt Vonnegut quoted in one of his books: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” It’s in the novel Slaughterhouse-Five. | Yes, I know it. It is the Serenity Prayer. These words are well known and have been transmitted for many years in Christian societies. |
So, it’s an illusion caused by the change in the environment. | Right . . . It’s as if you see the world through dark glasses, so naturally everything seems dark. But if that is the case, instead of lamenting about the world’s darkness, you could just remove the glasses. Perhaps the world will appear terribly bright to you then and you will involuntarily shut your eyes. Maybe you’l... |
I am your friend? | Yes, because you are. The dialogue going on here is not counseling, and we do not have a work relationship. To me, you are an irreplaceable friend. Don’t you think so? |
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