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[NSFW] Knock Knock Who's there?
The Pilot. Let me in! | 577,337 |
So two guys walk into a bar... and the third one ducks. | 577,338 |
Two guys are driving down a country road. The first one looks out the window and says: "hey look, a bunch of cows!"
The second guy looks at him and says: "no, you mean a herd of cows!"
His friend looks back at him and says: "of course I've heard of cows!"
The second guy then says: "no no no! I mean a cow herd!"
The first guy, looking confused, says: "what do I care what a cow heard!!?? I have no secrets from a cow!" | 577,339 |
If the Narwhal bacons at midnight, what does it do at noon? It bakes off. | 577,340 |
Journalist asks a neo-nazi "what do you have against foreigners?" "I have an axe" | 577,341 |
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dre | 577,342 |
Knock Knock. Who's there?
The Pilot. Let me in! | 577,343 |
"what the hell, signs up for it" There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34. | 577,344 |
What do you call an ISIS member who loves himself? A nISISist | 577,345 |
I don't have a high opinion about myself when I play PC games... It's my low self on Steam. | 577,346 |
Did you hear about the man running a marathon on the afghanistan border? He actually went 3 miles further... I guess Iran* a little too far
*I'm pronouncing it "e-ran" | 577,347 |
guy driving in a car with a blonde. A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..." | 577,348 |
First time for everything. A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
| 577,349 |
Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she was hit by a bus. | 577,350 |
Saw Marshawn Lynch at the eye clinic a few days ago. He told me he was just there so he won't get blind. | 577,351 |
Knock knock. Who's there? April Fool day :) | 577,352 |
Womans Rights see above | 577,353 |
An elderly lady goes to the doctor... An elderly lady goes to the doctor. "Doctor", she says, "I'm having some issues with excessive gas. However, they don't make a sound and they don't smell. In fact, since I've been in this room with you I've broken wind several times". The doctor writes her a prescription and tells her to come back in a week. One week later to woman returns, furious. "You quack", she barks at him, "my gut is as bad as ever and my farts still don't smell, but now they're as loud as thunder!" The doctor replies, "Well, now that we've fixed your hearing, let's see what we can do about your sense of smell". | 577,354 |
Can February March? No, but April May. | 577,355 |
A blonde is dying A blonde lady walks into her Dr's office and says 'oh Doctor, I'm dying, I'm dying. The Dr says 'oh my, what's the problem?' She taps her forehead and says 'it hurts here'. She taps her neck and says 'it hurts here', she taps her chest and says 'it hurts here', she taps her stomach and says 'it hurts here'. 'I hurt everywhere Dr, I'm dying'.
The doctor exams her and says 'lady, you've got a broken finger!'. | 577,356 |
I used to work as a waiter... ...the hours were terrible, but hey, it put food on the table. | 577,357 |
What do you call a group of tricksters from April, Utah? April Fools | 577,359 |
Strong Man Contest A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone when it comes to pure strength.
He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workers at the job site. After several minutes of ranting, the older worker had had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is and challenge me to a strength competition," he said. "I will bet an entire week's pay that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man. Let's see what you got," the young boaster replied.
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said,
"All right, hop in." | 577,360 |
The best April Fools' joke.. You. | 577,361 |
BANG BANG! Q: Why did the mirror have holes in it?
A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself. | 577,362 |
Knock knock. Who's there? The pilot, let me in. | 577,363 |
Risky Burial A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.
The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for only $150."
The man thought about it and decided he would just have her shipped home for $5000.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150 ?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead...I just can't take that chance." | 577,364 |
A skeleton walks into a bar And orders a beer and a mop. | 577,365 |
Brain problem On the left side, there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. | 577,366 |
A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church... "You can't be here" says the pastor
The Higgs Boson particle responds
"But with out me, how can you have mass?!" | 577,367 |
Bacon is like a woman it looks good
it smells good
it tastes good
and it slowly kills men | 577,368 |
Two scientists walk into a bar... One asks for a H2O, the other asks for a H2O too. The bartender hands them both glasses of water and asks them why they're talking in scientific terms. | 577,369 |
Did you hear about the Irish paper boy? He blew away. | 577,370 |
My friend told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat blow job today. My friend told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat blow job today.
"Really!?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "April Fogarbnsrgabsjg...."
That'll teach her to try to be funny... | 577,371 |
A man goes to a bar and sees... A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!".
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?".
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now!" | 577,372 |
Just like crime, slavery doesn't pay. | 577,373 |
Alligator Shoes A young blonde was on vacation in the swamps of Louisiana. She really wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes to bring back for her boyfriend but didn't want to pay the high prices the local stores were charging.
After becoming very frustrated with the local shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper replied, "Good luck! Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, and he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, rope in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She lunges, wraps herself around the beast and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more alligators all tied up.
Completely amazed, the shopkeeper got out of his car and walked toward the young lady.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts up at the shopkeeper, "Ugh! This one isn't wearing shoes either!!" | 577,374 |
Foot Fetish Prompted by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/31065v/i_broke_my_finger_today/
So two department store security guards are discussing their fetishes, and, through the discussions both come to find out they are both seriously into womens feat, mostly due to the fact that they have access to dressing room cameras that allow them to see the calves and feet of all of the women as they change. Thus prompting them to establish elaborate sexual fantasies around the woman and what they can pick up from their lower legs, if they paint their toenails, their shoes, their calluses, how toned their calves are from their athleticism, etc. One day they both go into the monitor room and see the most beautiful pair of legs they have ever seen and collectively articulate a grand romantic fantasy that they wish to be a part of with the woman they belong to. Eventually they become so infatuated that one says he is going to ask her out, and leaves to go talk to her, but first decided to rub one out for clarity. When he comes back from the bathroom he sees that his colleague has gathered his courage and has already started knocking on the dressing room stall. "Excuse me mam' could I speak to you for a second?" he says. "What is the meaning of this?" replys a deep, male voice.
"Um, sir?"
"Yes?"
"If you are in fact a 'sir', then you can't be in here, this is the ladies dressing room."
"Oh my god! This is so embarrassing! I will get out of here as soon as I can!"
The man fully clothes himself in a heartbeat and exits the room, apologizing profusely: "...and again I am terribly sorry I was not in there for anything other than my utter ineptitude, please don't take it the wrong way."
"Oh, it's not a problem, happens to the best of us."
"So, what did you want to see me about?" inquired the man.
"What?"
"you know, why were you in there originally?"
"Oh you know, standard guard policy."
"It's standard policy to randomly knock on dressing room doors?"
"Well, you were acting a little suspicious."
"Suspicious?"
"Yeah, you looked like you were ready to steal clothes"
"So you fallow anyone who looks like they might be ready to steal clothes when they go into the ladies dressing room?"
"Well yeah, ESPECIALLY if they're a man."
"Makes sense. But I was in there for 40 minutes, trying on shorts and shirts, so if you really saw me enter the dressing room, why did you take so long?"
"Well..."
"And why did you call me 'mam?"
"Womens dressing room."
"But you said you were keeping tabs on me in the store because I looked suspicious. How could you see me being suspicious and then not know what gender that suspicious person is? Please, explain to me how that happens."
"Well, uh, you see, heh, me and my colleague here... it seems we have just gotten off on the wrong foot." | 577,375 |
Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket... Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.
“Yes,” says Sally, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”
“But Larry’s still alive.”
“I know, but his hair is gone.” | 577,376 |
What can you tell about a guy who's always masturbating? That he's the son of one Mr. and Mrs. Bating.
Please don't kill me. | 577,377 |
You know why the fiscal year ends in March and not December? Because the next year starts with April Fools' day. | 577,378 |
A man had his entire left side cut off... He's all right now | 577,379 |
A guy walks into a bar.... ...holding a set of jumper cables and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says "okay, I'll serve you, but don't you start anything!" | 577,380 |
April Fools Day April Fools Day is ONLY for singles.
The married have their anniversary . | 577,381 |
Why did the baker have brown hands? He kneaded a pooh | 577,382 |
What is Chewbaccas favorite celebrity? Wookie Goldberg | 577,383 |
Happy April's fools! ... No really, what did you expect? | 577,384 |
Why did the man's kidneys fail? They didn't study. | 577,385 |
[mildly NSFW] How gloves are made A woman and her grandmother are taking a tour of latex glove factory.
"In our facility we use a unique method to make the gloves. Each operator will stick his hands into a vat of latex, let it dry, and then carefully peel it off to make one pair of gloves."
Suddenly the woman's grandmother begins snickering. After leaving the tour, she asks what she though was so funny.
"I'm just thinking about how condoms are made." | 577,386 |
I found this joke today HAHA APRIL FOOLS BITCHES | 577,387 |
What if Prom is just an elaborate business scams that fashion companies carry out every year to sell all the shitty, cheap dresses to high school kids because the rich people wouldn't buy them? *scam
I is stupid. | 577,388 |
A Shot of Whiskey A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket.
He does this over and over again.
Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket.
The man responded, "
I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home." | 577,389 |
Whats the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger | 577,390 |
Dentist Joke [NSFW-ish] My dentist made a point of mentioning that getting an erection was "perfectly normal" at the dentist. "That may be," I told him, "but could you please get it out of my face?"
Tl;Dr: Dentist Joke [Sucky-ish] | 577,391 |
When you drink morning coffee ... You know your boss is waiting for your report. Let him wait a little.... | 577,392 |
A bear and a rabbit were taking a shit together The bear said:
"Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit replied:
"no"
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. | 577,393 |
It says a lot about someone… It says a lot about someone when they try to prank you by putting aluminum foil in the toilet bowl.
It says even more about you when it works. | 577,394 |
A Russian And An Irish Wrestler Square Off A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.
Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said,
"Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian.
He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots.
Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished."
The Irishman nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, the Irishman and the Russian circled each otherseveral times, looking for an opening.
All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward,grabbing the Irishman and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost.
He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a Long, High Pitched Scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air.
His back hit the mat with a thud and the Irishman collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded.When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could."
The trainer exclaimed, "Oh, so that's what finished him off?!!"
"Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls." | 577,395 |
Girl: AH COO!! Man: Bless you.
Girl: AH COO!!
Man: Squared | 577,396 |
A man pushed his wife off a building... I guess you could say they FELL APART! | 577,397 |
When the woman was asked if she liked asian cock... She replied, "No, I prefer caucasian." | 577,398 |
A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend. The physicist: "A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment."
The mathematician: "A wife. You have security."
The computer scientist: "Both. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it's vice versa. And I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me..."
| 577,399 |
What was INXS Singer Michael Hutchence's favorite vegetable? The autochoke. | 577,400 |
A woman teaches her virgin boyfriend... A woman teaches her virgin boyfriend about sex. She suggests some 69 and has him lay down with her on top.
As she starts sucking him, she lowers her pussy to his face and accidentally farts.
Embarrassed, she jumps up and says they should try again. As soon as she squats on his face, she farts again.
The guy then says: Can we try something else? I don't think I can take 67 more of these. | 577,401 |
Two resneck cousins... Two redneck cousins were tending to the animals on the farm when the come up on a goat with its head stuck in the fence. When one starts unbuttoning his overalls and walking up behind the goat, his cousin asks, "Hey! What are you doing?!"
"Hell, I'm gonna have me here a little piece of ass... You want in on this, cuz??"
The other redneck immediately got down on his hands and knees with his rump in the air and shouted, "Sure do, but I ain't stickin' mah head through no fence!!!!!!" | 577,402 |
As the pope lay dying he is visited by an angel... This angel tells him that before he dies, God has commanded that he must make love to a young virgin so he may know and understand the earthly pleasures he gave up his whole life.
The Pope argues for a while but then finally agrees to do it if certain conditions are met:
"First, she must be blind so she cannot see the desecration I will perform on her body!"
"Second, she must be mute so she can never repeat the unspeakable act I will be performing on her body!"
"Third, she must be deaf so she cannot hear the unspeakable acts I will be performing on her body."
The angel writes these down and begins to float away to report back to God.
Just before he disappears, the Pope leans forward and says, "One last thing."
"What is it," says the Angel.
The Pope whispers "Big tits." | 577,403 |
There once was a Mohel (the Rabbi who performs a briss) who kept all of his tips for 20 years and goes to a leather working shop... He walks in and says "I would like to turn these into something to remember all of the children I helped."
The leather worker and owner of the shop says "Okay, come back to me in three days when I give you a call."
The Mohel waits three days, doesn't hear from the leather worker and calls back and the owner says "Yes yes, come in, we just finished it!"'
The Mohel walks into the shop and the owner delightedly hands him a wallet.
The Rabbi says "But this is just wallet ! I gave you 20 years worth!"
The owner of the shop says "Ah, yes, but rub it and it turns into a briefcase!"
---
Resubmitted because I used the wrong term for the Rabbi, my mistake! | 577,404 |
In 1250 the Iranians invented... In 1250 the Iranians invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first. | 577,405 |
The Horse Jim strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream "heyhey." The way to get him to go is to scream "Thank God."
Jim nodded his head, “fine with me, can I take him for a test run?”
Jim was having the time of his life, *this horse sure can run*, he thought. Jim was speeding down the dirt road when he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead “stop!” He screamed, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much Jim tried he could not remember the words to get the horse to stop. “yoyo” screamed Jim, but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet from the cliff when Jim suddenly remembered and screamed “heyhey!” The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff.
Jim could not believe his good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raise his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction “Thank God.” | 577,406 |
How do you know your at a gay BBQ? The hotdogs taste like shit. | 577,407 |
A blond and a brunette jump off the empire state building... Who lands first?
The brunette. The blond had to stop and ask for directions. | 577,408 |
Sometimes when I talk to people I start pointing at crouches. (Point) | 577,409 |
Did you hear about the guy who invented the Hokey Pokey? He just passed away and they had troubles putting him in the coffin. When they put his left leg in his right leg came out. | 577,410 |
A guy asks his girl friend to marry him... A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it.
One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham."
The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more."
The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon."
The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more."
She begins to cry.
"Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?"
The doctor replies, "Six months."
"So what's the date?" asks the woman.
"April 1st," says the doctor.
The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?"
Doctor: "YES... they both died on impact." | 577,411 |
What do you call lesbian eskimos? Klondykes | 577,412 |
I broke my finger today... But on the other hand I am completely fine. | 577,413 |
The Hotness Scale I went out on a date with a chick the other night. Looks-wise, she was a five, but with her low self esteem, she was a solid seven. | 577,414 |
If you ever see a woman drinking a Corona... ...you should ask her out immediately, because you know she'll swallow anything. | 577,415 |
The female praying mantis devours her male within minutes of mating, whereas ... the female human stretches it out over a lifetime! | 577,416 |
My dog always walked backwards... So I named him god. | 577,417 |
A Husband And Wife Go Golfing A husband and wife who are avid golfers have been happily married for 30 years, and on the day of their 30th anniversary they enjoy a wonderful day together.
They have a delicious breakfast in bed, then proceed to one of their favorite golf courses.
They play through to the 9th hole, both having an amazing game. The husband watches his beautiful wife tee off and feels a rush of emotion and guilt.
"Honey, I have to tell you something.
At the very beginning of our marriage, I was with another woman.
It only happened once and I've been faithful ever since.
It was a mistake and I hope you can forgive me."
The wife looks fondly at him. "I forgive you. We've had a very happy life together. I love you."
The husband is so relieved, feeling light as a feather.
They play a few more holes in bliss when suddenly the wife turns to her husband.
"Honey, I too have something to confess."
The husband smiles and says, "Anything dear - you were so gracious to me, and we can make it through anything."
"Before we met, I had an operation. I used to be a man."
The husband throws his club down and starts swearing and kicking up turf.
The wife is in shock. "But I forgave you for your secret!"
The husband, red faced, turns to her and says, "All these years! All these years you've been teeing off from the ladies tee box you cheater!!"
| 577,418 |
Andreas Lubitz. Is the first German pilot to record 150 kills in 70 years. | 577,419 |
I am a proud member of the CBC Short for 'Canadians Against Dyslexia' | 577,420 |
Did youz guys hear about the blow job competition last night? It was nuts, the race was neck and neck till the very end! | 577,421 |
What did one fetus say to the other? Guess we're wombmates! | 577,422 |
o I came home the other day to find a gorilla up on my roof busting up my house... So I came home the other day to find a gorilla up on my roof busting up my house. I called an animal control company. The man showed up assessed the situation and told me he was going to climb up onto the roof and when the gorilla was not looking he was going to hit him in the head with a baseball bat causing him to roll off of the roof and hit the ground. At that point, his pitbull would immediately run over and bite down on the gorillas testicles paralyzing him. I said sounds great. He said okay, here I go hold the shotgun. I said why do I have to hold the shotgun? He said just in case of an emergency. I acquiesced . As he climbed up onto the roof, he started to sneak up behind the gorilla but was seen, The gorilla then backhanded him knocking him down and as he started rolling off of the roof he was screaming "shoot the dog, shoot the dog!!!" | 577,423 |
What kind of investments do musicians make? Sound investments. | 577,424 |
Someone offered to take me fly fishing, but I turned them down. I like to keep it reel. | 577,425 |
What did the guy who liked mustard say when he opened his fridge and saw no mustard? You mustard be joking! | 577,426 |
Life without love is pointless.... Love without life is necrophilia | 577,427 |
Did you here about the gay midget? He finally came out of the cabinet | 577,428 |
What kind of car does a pirate drive? Toyota YARis | 577,429 |
The best joke ever April fools | 577,430 |
The puzzle solution, under the category of Before and after, on Wheel of Fortune was "Victoria's Secret Passage". I can't help but think there's an innuendo hidden there...I just can't put my finger on it... | 577,431 |
A snail walks up to a mans house and knocks on the door... A snail walks up to a mans house and knocks on the door. The door opens and the man says to the snail "What do you want?"
The snail says "Hello sir, I am selling cookies and am just wondering if you would like to..." WHOOSH!! The man kicks the snail and he flys across the street. The man slams the door!!
10 years later the man hears a knock on his door. He opens the door, looks down and sees the same snail.
The snail says "Aw man why'd ya do that?" | 577,432 |
What can be said about a rich man who doesn't carry change with him? He's got more money than cents | 577,433 |
The key to comedy? Perfect del ivery | 577,434 |
2 muffins in an oven one says: "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?"
the other says: "AAAAAH A TALKING MUFFIN!" | 577,435 |
Yo' Mama Jokes Battle! I'll start!
Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo came with jumper cables. | 577,436 |
Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends...? Because he's married. ;_; (I'll see myself out). | 577,437 |
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