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Took my meds for the first time yesterday and again today.
1. Wow. Normie’s brains are so quiet.
2. It’s like all my senses are a bit dulled but in a good way. Sounds feel a tad farther away, lights are not so harsh, and my clothes don’t feel so suffocating…the world is spinning a bit slower.
I cried. Peace at last. | ADHD |
So. My son is on the spectrum (Autism and ADHD) and a couple of years ago, we were riding the bus home from a visit to the Zoo. All the day long, he had been talking constantly about different berries. Even at the bus stop. The bus came and we went on it to find a seat. And then this funny story happened.....
My son (6 or 7 at that time), sat down next to this young African lady. Mind you all, he does not see skin colour and treats ALL woman equally. Meaning that he loves every woman to the max. She smiled at him, and said hello.... Silence for a couple of minutes.... NT terms = conversation over a long time ago.... And then he looked at her and he said "I do not like the black ones..."
My first reaction was to think that this is not ok, yet at the same time I was still in the conversation about berries with my son. Yeahh, an ASD thing, being in the conversation a whole day. So I quickly asked him, with a raised voice, if he meant all the black berries like black currant. And my son replied that he only like red berries. And I asked him back if he meant strawberries and raspberries. And he replied with a yes.
I looked at the woman and told her, that he had been talking about berries the whole day. And she smiled back. No harm done. Just a small ASD-story that took place in an NT-World. :-D | aspergers |
DAE notice throughout the span of their life that certain things that trigger or are revolved around OCD have been around different things at different time in your life? That certain things have came and gone, some stay but once one thing you have goes on a few months, years and so on it fades away or you find a way to cope with it only for something new to emerge and cause you to struggle? | OCD |
Got dx with ptsd in July and told the nurse practitioner I believe I have adhd too due to a multitude of symptoms, primarily lack of ability to focus and she said it could be possible but is iffy on it because ptsd can cause that. I was skeptical but continued on with her advice about getting an adhd diagnosis at a neurologist which is set for November.
2 weeks ago I learned ptsd can cause hallucinations. Another thing the nurse told me but I doubted it as well because I “wasn’t thinking of my trauma when I had these hallucinations”. Yesterday I saw a lot of people on this sub saying they have a lack of ability to focus with their ptsd and I did some research and found the correlation.
I feel hurt.
I was ready to accept I had adhd or whatever the cause of the hallucinations were faster than the fact that my trauma ruined a part of me deeper than I could ever know.
In school I decided to sign up for disability which I was only able to qualify for with a bipolar diagnosis at the time (that I believe is still somewhat applicable). But I always had trouble going through with it because I didn’t feel disabled. I thought it was wrong to claim something like that when I wasn’t “that bad off”. My bipolar itself was also very mild. But after this realization on how damaged I am from this disorder, I honestly feel it now. The fact that I am lacking basic neurological skills because of an event(s) years ago........ is hard to deal with. | ptsd |
Hello Everyone!
A little backstory regarding a broken, trapped life (mine) due to traumatic experiences....
As a little girl, the eldest in my household, I realized first we lived in lack. And to make it worst, my daddy decided to leave us. My life shattered, my heart broke, I was so confused, dazed,Numb, broken, in pain that I could not cry- but my mom did...day and night...night and day...I vowed I would remain 'strong' and be the way of escape for my family to get out of a life of utter embarrassment, guilt, blame, poverty.
I repressed my hurt so much that I lived as a sad, unpleasant child- i experienced lost memories, constantly having headaches, throwing up, dizzy, unable to trust people, was not expressive, 'cold', ended up in the hospital due to panic attacks. All this while, I still refused to tell anyone how I was feeling, what I was going through inside! I vowed I would engage in self- destructive behaviors as I HATED the turmoil that was going on in me. I wanted to silence the emotional noise.
Years later...I faced more traumatic experiences- hold- up and robbed by gunmen, an almost fatal car accident with my family, almost losing my life (while pregnant) by a bus that dragged me along the road unknowingly, Almost losing my child during delivery, Seasons of utter financial shame and stress, it went on and on..
My body was constantly in a state of combat, fatigue and stress- My doctors were ready to prescribe drugs for the PTSD....But.. I found another way- a way I wanted to explore- to overcome without meds.
I went about attempting to heal naturally and after a few months, I OVERCAME all the trauma, the baggage the stress, the hurt, the guilt, the shame, the pain. I recovered, I became free, I felt in love and loved in a way I never experienced it before! Without a doubt, the quality of my life improved drastically and I have never been the same!
**Soooooo, now I want to help YOU overcome traumatic experiences, naturally, and FOR GOOD!**
**Ask Me Anything!**
And if you are seriously interested in knowing more, hop over to my private Facebook group where I post exclusive content, resources, training on how you can overcome PTSD/Trauma/CPTSD and improve and live a better quality life. | ptsd |
I know the internet gets a bad rep a lot but thank god for places to seek information like this, and more so realize no one is alone.
Intrusive thoughts can be the scariest thing :/ Can't imagine not knowing what it is and feeling so alone. Well I can imagine it when I was younger actually and it was so much more terrible... | OCD |
Hi all, sorry if formatting is weird I am on my phone. My ocd is mainly checking and hygiene. I also have intrusive thoughts, usually about what a strangers dick would look like, what would happen if I just hit that person with my car right now, killing my friends etc.
But I have one intrusive thought that makes me cry. It’s about being a peadophile. I know I’m not but my brain says “but what if you are?” I have never told ANYONE about this instructive thought, not even my doctors or therapists.
I think what makes this intrusive thought worse is that I actually work with children, I think if anyone in my real life knew about this thought they would think I’m disgusting and shouldn’t be working in this profession.
Please help, deep down I know I am not attracted to children at all but my brain is driving my mad and I feel so disgusting and ashamed of myself. How can I deal with this? | OCD |
Hi,
I would love to start therapy or start taking meds because I have a ton of different interests I would like to follow but I can't manage to start because of adhd.
How do meds affect this kind of interests? Will you be able to dig into those interests like normal people or are those multiple interests a consequence of adhd, therefore when you take meds you also lose interest in those things?
P.S: sorry for repeating "interest" | ADHD |
Saving recipes to a bookmark folder doesn't work because *gestures at the bookmark mayhem*. I don't own a tablet and I seldom use my Chromebook (mostly because charging it is an issue). I have my desktop but I don't like looking up recipes on that when I'm meal planning because I get so distracted.
I like cooking (as much as I like anything that ends up being a chore or work) and there's food I grew up cooking that come to me easily. There's other food I've learnt how to cook or perfect over the years too. My problem is that, when I have the energy and time and inclination, I forget some of the amazing food I cook. Like I forget the actual dishes. Or that I have "Oh yeah I remember now that I love aubergine like this" moments. How do you all store recipes?
I bujo (in a basic, ugly fashion) and I like the idea of having something manual in front of me. I don't know but sometimes holding it helps me keep to task? But writing out all those recipes just sounds awful. I'd also like the ability to search for a recipe by a keyword (like aubergine) and have a list of all the recipes I have saved/written with aubergine come up. Maybe even a feature where it can surprise me by selecting a recipe at random? And I'd like the ability to input my own recipes too.
Ideally it needs to be accessible on my phone. There must be an app. Some of you must use an app. HELP ME??
Thank you | ADHD |
I have tried to figure out because I have some symptoms but not others, and I don’t know if I need to see anyone about it. I eat my food in a specific order, make loads of lists, repeat movements (I flex different muscles in an order or tap my collarbone) I have thoughts of hurting/killing people, even though I would never do it, and recently I’ve been hating taking my mask off, it feels wrong, but I don’t do some of the most common ones I hear. I’m not germaphobic, I don’t organize other than my lists, and don’t have nightmares. Any help from people really with ocd would be great. Thank you in advance | OCD |
Prescription delivery service - According to my insurance, this company can mail me my medication (Adderall, generic) and they can give up to 3 months worth of medication in advance. This would be helpful because we have a lot of work travel planned for the upcoming months and you guys know how hard it is to keep up with dates and refills. Has anyone had success with this service? | ADHD |
I've been suspecting I'm on the spectrum for a while now and I'm going to a psychiatrist tomorrow to seek a diagnosis. Any advice on how I can make the diagnosis process as efficient and as quick as possible? Any preparations I should make? | aspergers |
The tortuous thing about suffering with bipolar is the soaring highs followed by the crushing lows.
At present, I am in one of the worst lows I’ve ever experienced.
The rain hammers down on the roof of the conservatory as I smoke at the back door. My mind flits from one perceived failure to another with lightning speed. I start to ruminate on the idea that maybe I have experienced all the positive experiences in my life and that I am only left with soul-tearing lows. The sympathetic background of the storm and the rain crashing down on the roof make me believe that I am cursed to suffer, and that the weather and God know it and encourage it eagerly.
What if I have enjoyed and used up all the good times life has to offer?
I have spent months trying to think my way out of the current depression and I am exhausted by myself. Everything, from waking up and getting out of bed, to working out what I should do with my life, drains the energy out of me. I swing from panic-induced anxiety to a defeated and sombre feeling of failure. In the movies everything is so neat and easy to understand: The protagonist has a problem and through human endurance they conquer and succeed at life. I don’t think this is true, at least not for me.
The place I find myself is grim and dark. I have nothing left to offer and feel destroyed and desperate by what life has thrown at me. The weather outside frames my internal state; there are no breaks in the cloud and floods of dark water submerge my mind in a whirlpool of despair. I cannot get out of this state of being and this state of being offers me no escape.
If you are drowning? How do you rescue yourself? Where is the hero or heroine who will sail in and rescue you? These thoughts make me suspicious of every film I have ever seen that shows human triumph. I cannot imagine being free of dark, swirling, suffocating depression—let alone being happy.
What if every human on earth is gifted at birth with a set number of positive experiences and potential opportunities? I’m scared I’ve used mine all up and am destined to suffer from the torment of my mind until I die.
I secretly and quietly fantasise about freedom from my mental pain. I grasp at the idea that “something” will turn up and cure me of my suffering. But I’m beginning to accept that maybe this is the part of the film where I suffer until my death. I know that this sounds negative and defeatist.
I think that maybe this is the difference between mental health and mental illness. A person who is working on their mental health, but is otherwise mentally well, can navigate the ups and downs life throws as a challenge. Whereas a person like me, who is mentally ill, is destined to only be able to react according to their current mental state—this is not of their choosing and cannot be navigated. It is the same as a boat caught in a storm. When in the storm we cannot concern ourselves with directions or destinations. Instead, all we can focus on is the present tidal wave or typhoon. For survival we have to take each wave and muster all our strength not to drown.
Mental well-being is finally being discussed openly and this is obviously a good thing, however, for the mentally ill it has some severe downsides. Mental health talk says that you can fix every storm, you can meditate, you can walk away from any internal torment. This is impossible for someone who is mentally ill. Infinite times I’ve been told to cheer up, look on the bright side, go for a walk, or try some Wim Hoff breathing. But for someone who is cursed with mental illness, no amount of walking, scented candles, yoga, or breathing will cure them—sometimes the waves will send us crashing into the rocks on the shore.
Against the popularity of mental health discussions, the mentally ill are doomed to fail. The bar is set too high and sometimes the time is just not right to use the many techniques that are suggested. I have to take medication just to stop me careening off into a psychotic break or manic episode. Mental wellness would say I lack technique or rituals to ground myself, and that makes me feel like a failure.
I’m not berating the popularity of mental health in our society at present, I’m saying it leaves behind the people who suffer most and excludes them from the discussion.
We need a clear distinction between a “normal” and mentally healthy individual and someone who is unfortunate enough to suffer with a mental illness. How we come to this distinction is a difficult one. Feeling sad or depressed for a day or two is not the same as being manic for months and then crashing down into an all encompassing depression you cannot escape. No amount of positive affirmations or podcasts is going to cut it.
Someone with a mental illness needs the help of medication, the support of their family, and a mental health crisis team who will formulate a plan to manage their illness. First though, they need to accept that they are ill—this has been the hardest thing for me.
It has been made all the more difficult because of the surging “mental health” industry in the west. Shiny Instagram accounts with buzz word affirmations in pretty fonts are no f*cking use when you have bipolar or a major depressive illness. Nor are shallow descriptions of how a certain influencer’s story is an inspiration. They are unhelpful at best, and at worst could be dangerous for someone who is suffering a mental illness. I personally find them defeating—they screw my confidence into the ground and send me crashing into the jagged rocks.
It’s as if mental health is a fashionable fad, a way to gain followers and show credibility of being a whole person. It adds depth and tension, showing the individual has strived. The problem is that it doesn’t fit with being mentally ill. Mental illness is lifelong and chronic—managing is the best we can do.
I hope with time, this new found interest in mental health will grow and include an understanding of mental illness too. I think more input from the mentally ill is needed—we have to make people understand that we didn’t choose the storm, the storm chose us.
Talking about mental health more now is a good thing. The danger as I have outlined is that the mentally ill become sidelined and ignored as this faddy approach to the mind grows. The narrative is one of overcoming the obstacles, but I’m sure each one of us who is mentally ill would be happy just to manage each day and weather the storm.
It is by no means a competition though and shouldn’t diminish anyone who is struggling mentally, but not mentally ill. It is the definition and distinction that need work. It’s the faddy approach to everything in our society that causes problems. It makes the wider public view mental illness as a failure when framed in terms of mental health.
People who are mentally ill need an appreciation that sometimes no matter what they do, they’re going to be in abject pain, and that as nice as some of the suggestions sound, they’re dealing with a more longer term chronic problem than temporary bad mental health.
How can you have mental health when you are mentally sick? | depression |
Female- 20
when i told my SO i want marriage and kids he said i only seen to think about sex and then told me this: You keep talking like a maniac, one time you say you are a Virgin but the other time you go all out talking about sex. What's your stand? What vision then? ( I apologizd for that /) It looks as though you express yourself according to whom you are really. I guess it is what it is. — Now. I told him i can still be virgin and masturbate and have sexual thoughts and so on. I don't appreciate being called slut indirectly. Anyway sex is important part of a relationship. If you are attracted to someone you want to do it. He seems to not be attracted to me though. From 7days week i talk about it like 3 times and then it is the only things i talk about
TL:DR;. I am upset at my boyfriend accusing me of bad things and also calling me maniac. Idk what to do. Am i wrong | depression |
I started PE therapy at the end of May and we just dived into my second imaginal session, where I record one of my traumas. The first time I did it I was not good for the first 2-3 days and then I settled back into my normal. This time, it's been almost a week and I feel like an emotional mess. I'm angry, scared, and depressed. I've been in DBT therapy for 1.5 years to help with my BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and it almost feels as if the PE therapy is taking me steps back instead of forward with my recovery attempts.
I'm starting to get discouraged and afraid that this isn't helping me but making things worse. I also don't want to give up too early.
​
Does anyone have any experiences with PE that they can share? | ptsd |
I sometimes do this and it always ends in complete panic because I can’t tell if I do enjoy it or not | OCD |
So I have this thing with meat and I swear it's not cooked and we're going to get food poisoning or fucking die, I know how dramatic that sounds lol.. I have to completely trim the fat from my meat and cook it until it's well over the temperature that it needs to be.
My husband doesn't care. He'll eat his steaks rare, which is whatever but he makes my steaks like that too even though I've told him, hey I NEED you to cook mine longer because I literally cannot handle it. It's the same with any meat, everything else is mine but meat is awful.
I know realistically it says one temperature on the mest thermometer but I feel like it's still not done. Even seeing things on the internet stress me out. I remember seeing a joke, hopefully it was a joke, about eating rare chicken strips and I think about it all the time worrying that people are really eating raw chicken. It's insane.
How have y'all overcame this? In my head I know I'm being dramatic but at the same time I just can't handle it. I've considered becoming vegetarian because of it.
Edit to say.. I guess it's really not just with meat. When I see someone doing something with their bare hands and no gloves I get really stressed out then too. I swear the more I realize how fucking weird I am the more I'm like, how tf have I made it to 30 years old. | OCD |
I saw a day-in-the-life type video of a sushi chef who's dedicated his life and daily routine to his restaurant, working long hours on his passion for a living. More recently, I saw a movie where the main character went to law school and spent endless hours studying all through the night. Both of these examples look like grueling, hard work, but ultimately worth it. Every time I see something like that, I want it. I want that satisfying, passionate slog through a challenge. I want to work hard. I just can't.
The really frustrating thing is how close I came to having it. I struggled my way through an engineering degree because I was chasing a passion, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make myself work hard. I'd spend all night in the library to "study," but in reality I spent the vast majority of my time on YouTube. I'd sleep in my car to have extra time to catch up on what I didn't learn in class because I was daydreaming instead. I got all the slog, but none of the satisfaction. Those long hours I now crave were spent coping; not working.
No matter how hard I try, I can't try hard. | ADHD |
Over the past year, I’ve developed what I would have initially considered nervous tics. To preface, I have quite intense social anxiety and these “tics” usually occur after I think about something I’ve done/said that is “cringey” but sometimes it is in response to a totally “normal” thought. Usually, I will grimace or forcefully blink and jolt my head to the right and I will sort of softly yelp (can’t think of a better word for it) or say “Fuck”. I know this may sound like Tourette’s but it is almost always in response to a thought (and verbal tics are always soft or whispered which to me indicates a level of control), leaving me to believe it might be a sort of compulsion? It feels like I do it to “shake” the bad thought away, which sounds like what I’ve seen while researching OCD symptoms. Is it possible that it is a new symptom of anxiety?
I would go to a doctor but I currently don’t have health insurance or the means to investigate this further with a professional. By no means am I self diagnosing or asking for diagnosis, just want to hear others’ experiences and if it resembles mine.
Please share your knowledge. | OCD |
I can't explain why this happens. But when I'm high on weed I can sense peoples behaviors a lot more astutely and I can even feel how they are feeling at that point.
I had a moment with my ex-girlfriend where I could feel her l5 herniated disc pain resonate in my l5 area of my back for an hour. I really understood the pain that she was going through with her back, it made me feel so sad for her that I was wishing I could take on some of that pain so that it would be easier for her to bear it. My back was in pain for 5 days after that.
Another time I watched Once Upon A Time In The West, and I could suddenly understand what the movie was about - it was a guys version of a romantic comedy. All of the actors movements, their charm and flirtations, the inflection in their voices, everything was calculatedly to get with the girl. It was almost like socializing with normal people is kind of like throttling a gas pedal - Instead of slamming your foot down all the way, you slowly and calmly ease into it, and slowly build up from there. I suddenly feel very interested in people watching and reading signs. I become a lot more touchy feely and intimate with my partner. I also am able to cry, feel, and identify my own emotions in my body.
To be clear, when I'm sober none of this happens, and for me to replicate this sober would require me trying to intellectualize it which is impossible. Although crying has become a little easier sober over the year or so since I really started smoking weed.
The only problem I have with the high is that it can sometimes turn into a panic attack, and it really messes with my libido. But it's also made life more bearable and interesting - I can do chores around the house, exercise, practice, and learn much better. It got me really interested in economics and history. It's a really strange set of pros and cons.
Has anyone else also had this experience? | aspergers |
I'm talking sanitize up to your elbow
Saying things like "people are breathing on me" even if they are a meter away
Taking double showers to make sure they are clean
Completely refusing others to touch them (for medical purposes) even with gloves and a mask
Anything and everything causes anxiety because germs are everywhere!
I want to help, I want to support, I just don't know how.
All I can do is ease the anxiety by providing sanitizer and stuff but I do feel like I am not really assisting in overcoming the anxiety itself. | OCD |
TW of s*xul ass**lt
Soooo now I’m having problems with figuring out how to feel about my molester who is a family member (not parents). It happened when I was very young, and it was just a “game” so part of me feels like I’m undeserving of ptsd even though I was diagnosed? Idk. It was so so long ago, and since then we’ve had a great relationship (takes me out for ice cream and stuff) but I can’t help but think that might have been to subconsciously make up for what he did. It was a direct touch with clothes on (on my privates) with his arm under my legs for a consecutive amount of time. And a “game” where he laid on me, facing me and I can remember that I couldn’t breathe. I could smell alcohol on his breath both times, mixed with him usually screaming at me while drunk. Why do I feel like I wasn’t actually molested? Everytime I think about I go into shiver and basically have a panic attack. I’ve had nightmares and clearly it wouldn’t have stuck with me if it was nothing. Please reassure me I am not crazy. I am going through a weird calm period, which makes me think maybE I dOnt hAvE pTsd even tho I’ve had them for many past weeks. This might not make sense but I also feel it again, like I get short of breath when I get flashbacks and everything. Thank you for reading thus far if you have :) and I hope u have a good day | ptsd |
I was about 35 years old and married to my best friend.
I was so incredibly happy and he was too. At least I thought he was.
One day he didn’t come home from work. I was panicked and after phone calls etc reported him missing.
Some parts of the event are foggy, IDK if it was 24 or 48 hours but I got a phone call that destroyed me.
A stranger (someone from law enforcement) confirmed my identity and blurted out my husband was found dead.
I was driving on the highway, was out driving everywhere, I had no idea where to look.
Driving 60 MPH I learned my husband who I adored and loved had been found in a ravine. He cut his wrists with broken glass and bled to death.
This happens almost ten years ago and I’m still completely f’d up.
Never speak about it, don’t understand how or why it happened.
He was a combat veteran but I didn’t witness any signs of PTSD.
He was a little overly emotional, he would tell me how I made “his life worth living” and “saved him from a miserable existence”. He would cry when he told me those things.
I thought he was just a sensitive man that had been through periods of loneliness like me.
Imagine riding to work with your spouse, having no idea something so awful was going to happen only to never see him again.
It seems like it never really happened at times, I have feelings of fear bc obviously I had no idea who he was.
I know there is no answer and never will be, but I’m consumed by the thought of how could someone do that to the person the promised to love forever?
I’ve tried to look at some of the messages he sent. All similar “I can’t believe how happy I am, you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me” and “marrying you was the best thing I ever did, I will always be by your side”.
But, he walked into a public park, down a ravine and killed himself in a horrific way.
I feel like I’m still in shock and really always wonder when the next tragedy is going to happen.
I just can’t believe this really happened. I just needed to confront it in some way I guess.
Thank you for reading.
It hurts so bad still all these years later. I am very isolated and as hard as I’ve tried I can’t move on. | ptsd |
I’m in a relationship and I’m struggling really bad with misunderstanding what’s being said. Everything they say goes through a filter that makes me think they’re angry with me, or annoyed, or hiding something.
I jump to worst case scenario, and I’m honestly ready to break up with myself. I’m so sick of this. I always want to leave. I have zero ‘working it out’ skills.
I am not formally diagnosed, but my closest friends over the years have been aspies. They say I’m one of them. I see it. Is this an aspie thing or am I just mental?
I even feel bad for asking this here. Like I should already just know how to just ‘be’.
So much anxiety and self loathing. What has helped y’all? | aspergers |
She jeeps bullying me like critisizing what i say everytime and commenting on it when im around i dont know what to do ? Why she keeps doing that
Edit: her and her colleagues think im gay | aspergers |
Anyone else on Medikenet XL? I took two doses for the first time yesterday (as advised by Dr), one with breakfast and the second with lunch, and I literally have not slept since yesterday morning. I’m only on 10mg. Has anyone had this? Did Medikinet help you? I didn’t feel a difference when I took it, except for the not sleeping and fast HR. | ADHD |
My coworkers know I'm suspected to be on the spectrum. Not cause I told them. No no. Two of them are neurodivergent and within one meeting of me, asked me if I was too given how I acted. Well today at the end of our shift I got into a long talk with my coworker who also has aspergers. I had mentioned to them I was having a neuropsych test in about two weeks for an official diagnosis. So we got into that and ended up swapping stories back and forth of our childhood and daily life struggles.
Holy shit it was so nice talking to someone who's brain works the same as me. We could both relate to exactly what the other was saying. Being a few minutes behind conversation trying to think of a reply. Unable to do phonecalls without have a script of what to say prepare. Completely shutting down under stress.
I mean since learning I was on the spectrum I've watched videos, read articles, look on this subreddit. But something about talking to someone in person, seeing someone being able to understand all the parts of yourself most people can't. It made me feel so happy.
I guess wanted to share this cause I needed the positivity right now. | aspergers |
I'm aspergers and also have anger management issues, and it irritates me extremely when people don't want to wear a mask but I don't know what to do about it. I've already told a few and they just ignore me or laugh.
Today I was walking on a narrow sidewalk and nearly everyone (mostly young people) were unmasked, I told the first one "wear your mask!" and he ignored me, then another one, and another one and another one, I just stared at them angrily because because of them me or my family can get sick.
In my country it's mostly young people who refuse to wear a mask, and the conservative in my area (not the US) tend to be buff guys like jersey shore sort of thing, and I'm a 5'7 aspie with a normal body, so I'm afraid of telling them to wear a mask, what if they respond aggressively? I know for a fact I won't run away and will fight because I have anger management issues, but I will definitely lose badly.
What do you do to deal with unmasked people like these? It's honestly unbelievable for me how some people refuse to wear a mask in the middle of a pandemic... Especially in the third world south American country I live in. And despite moving to a middle class area, nothing has changed, there's assholes in all economical classes.
I can't avoid going out, I need to do stuff outside like walking my dog, getting groceries, taking the trash out, and that sort of stuff.
What can I do? I'm literally lost right now and being an aspie with lack of social skills makes it even more difficult. | aspergers |
I need help from the ADHD hivemind. I'm trying to find an app to use at work to help me manage my to-do list. I use ToDoist currently and I like it but it seems like it's more for immediate to-dos than project management. I find myself just scheduling everything for "tomorrow" or "later this week" or "next week", and every day I have way more things on my to-do list than I could possibly get done, so I just move them again at the end of the next day. But it doesn't have a calendar view, so that's the only way to keep things on my radar, because if I schedule something for two weeks from now I will forget about it until that day comes.
So what I'm looking for is something with a timeline view that I can use to keep track of my tasks and when I need to do them, but also how long they're going to take me. I'm imagining something where I can set each task to a "block" of time, whether that's an hour, two hours, four hours. (Not for a specific timeslot, just a specific length of time -- not "9am-11am" but "2 hours on Wednesday", e.g.). So then when I schedule tasks to a day, I can visually see my day filling up. So if I try to schedule 16 hours' worth of work into an 8 hour day I'll SEE it and know I need to move some things. Does something like this exist?
I tried Jira but got overwhelmed immediately. Someone told me Trello is the simpler version of Jira, so I tried that, but timeline view is a premium feature.
I just have a really hard time estimating how long something is going to take, so I think I need something where I can estimate it once and that information will stay visible to me when I'm scheduling tasks, so I stop shooting myself in the foot by scheduling way too many things for the same day every single day.
tl;dr: Does anyone have recommendations for a to-do app or project management software that will help me visualize how long individual tasks will take and help me be realistic in how much I can get done in a day?
ETA: Also if this IS possible in Trello or Jira and I'm just not seeing how, could anyone point me to a tutorial or something?? Because I'm super overwhelmed and lost | ADHD |
Hi, I don't know if I'm depressed, my current neurologist says no. But I've been having such a dark mood on and off for years, for many reasons. Now it's becoming unbearable , I forgot what it means to smile and be happy. I lost the opportunity of having a loving relationship years ago and I don't forgive myself for this regret. Now I'm alone at home and stuck with no positive outlook whatsoever. I currently score 33 in the BDI-II test, which is considered "severe depression". I think my main problem is not being able to share thoughts and feelings with someone who listens with care.
Is this the right place to ask for some guidance and supportive thoughts?
Thank you very much for your subreddit anyway. I hope people who're feeling worse than me will find a way out. | depression |
hi everyone! i’m new here seeing as I just got diagnosed w/ OCD this morning. I had went to the psychiatrist for the first time regarding my severe health anxiety / hypochondria. I had already been diagnosed with GAD by my PCP and figured my psychiatrist was just going to prescribe me more intense meds for my severe health anxiety. Well he actually ended up diagnosing me w/ OCD. I had never considered this before as I always thought my health anxiety was connected to my anxiety disorder. I guess it does make sense considering my health anxiety consists of obsessive thoughts surrounding my health and results in compulsions such as body checking, asking for reassurance, etc., I’m just having trouble relating it thought because everything I see online regarding OCD is just the stereotypical germ obsessions & compulsions. I have no experience w/ the disorder and was wondering if any of you have any similar experiences? I also have other “compulsions” that consist of me checking my phone over and over at night because I need to make sure I set my alarm properly (i will open and close the clock app like 15 times in a row) or getting up over and over to check and make sure my daughter is breathing while she sleeps because I can’t fall asleep until i do. I’m just kind of doubting that I actually am experiencing OCD and I kind of feel like a fraud even though I know my doctor is a professional and knows better than I do. I’m afraid I communicated my feelings to him incorrectly. Was just wondering if anyone has experienced health related OCD and can share their experiences with me! Thank you guys | OCD |
Does this happen to anyone else, that you are really sad, and feel like crying, but just can't? | aspergers |
Mmmm hola.
Me llamo Nico hace mucho tiempo que sufro de depresión y ansiedad ya he ido a psicólogas y psiquiatras y aún no logro sentirme bien no es nada fácil convivir conmigo no logro encontrar felicidad en mi. Muchas veces e pensado en ponerle punto final a mi vida pero no logro armarme de valor para agarrar la pistola y pegarme un tiro. 3 meses atrás comenze a ver sombras en mi habitación no se que pueda ser pero ya no quiero asistir a los psicólogos. Que me aconsejan ustedes :( | depression |
Hey everyone,
I (27/f) recently got diagnosed with ADD.
In a way, it was very much a relief to find something that explained the struggles I have always had. Was also surprised because I had never really considered it as an explanation prior to my doctor screening me and explaining where the things I struggle with go hand in hand with ADD (vs being rooted in an anxiety issue as I'd always thought). This is all pretty new to me, and I'd love if anyone had some resources, tools or anything they suggest to help as I go forward with finally having somewhere to start with trying to take control of my life.
To my main question however, my doctor has me starting medication and we're running sort of a trial to see what's going to work best for me, along with therapy (which I will start once the referral *finally* goes through). He's started me on a stimulant first. I'm taking Ritalin at 20mg once a day to see how it works for me, how long it lasts, etc. I'm currently on day 2.
The medication has helped me focus immensely. I've been able to actually do the things I need to, and without having to fight and bargain with myself, like I was before (if I could convince myself to do whatever it was at all.) I'm not spacing out all the time, and my mind is mostly, dare I say, quiet when I need it to be. However, I've noticed it makes me very talkative. I've been able to focus and really engage in the conversation at hand which is awesome but I definitely feel like I'm talking more than I normally would.
I have a follow-up with my doctor in a few weeks, but thought it would be worth asking those who may have had prior experience with different medications. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you address it? Any suggestions? | ADHD |
Lurker for 4 months here seeking advice/support. I (25M) am about 6 months into a new job. I have had a couple “goal” reviews already with my manager. First one went well, second one about a month ago can be summarized as my work is quality but I need to pick up the pace and I’m not being assigned a full workload because of this. I have tried to improve over the past month and feel I increased efficiency by 10-15% but I know I can be quicker and haven’t hit every deadline. I have another review with my manager tomorrow. My job is in M&A diligence so it’s fast paced.
Here’s where I need advice:
I am about 2 months into being evaluated by a medical professional for ADHD adult diagnosis. At my last appointment, the psychologist said I am exhibiting symptoms of anxiety, ADHD, and acute PTSD (from a family member passing 5 years ago). I am being referred to a psychiatrist soon. It’s all catching up to me after white knuckling it for so long. If you asked me a year ago if I had ADHD I would’ve laughed because I had no clue what the symptoms are for inattentive type. But here we are. I will likely be prescribed something for at least ADHD in the coming weeks, but the process has taken a lot longer than I hoped. I am considering disclosing to my manager soon about where I am in the process, particularly if my review isn’t so great. FWIW, my manager has multiple children w ADHD (idk why she told me but it happened lol). I do generally trust my manager and she seems kind.
Any tips on what to say, what not to say, and how to frame it would be much appreciated. I’m thankfully not in mental breakdown mode, but the symptoms I’m experiencing are definitely making me slower at my job than I know I am capable of. I just hate knowing how/what to do and getting distracted or being slow as fuck compared to peers. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: May disclose to my manager that I’m in early process of being treated for ADHD/acute PTSD, need advice/support | ADHD |
Ever since I was a small child, I've gotten really, really, really attached to fictional worlds. When I was younger, it was long fantasy/sci fi books that I would consume in a day or two, and then reread again and again. It then developed more into tv shows, which I will binge and rewatch like 14-15 times. With both interests, the thing is, it's the only thing I can think about for weeks, and I will go so deep into the universe that it feels bad doing real life things. Going to work (or back then, school and birthday parties) is the worst, because whatever I was hyperfixating on will just play in my head, even if I don't want to. I feel depressed and anxious and far away from reality. It's as if I get so into it, my brain is kind of taking that as 'reality' (I can distinguish the two, that's not the problem), so my mundane life and problems makes me so fucking depressed and scared. I just walk around crying all day. All my brain wants is to think about it.
What I see as hyperfixation is not a pleasant experience. It's an anxious experience and it puts me in a very dark place. I've had weeks of just constant panic attacks because every time I thought about the thing I'm obssessed with, my heart begins to pump and my chest tightens.
It's at the point that I'm scared of starting new shows or movies because I'm afraid that I'll get attached and that my life will start spiraling again.
No one can relate to this feeling, even my friends who hyperfixate on things. People are starting to worry and I don't know what to do, especially when I literally use tv shows as like a background noise most times.
I'm not currently diagnosed with ADHD yet, but I'm going to get tested for both ADHD, ADD and autism in january, and my therapist, mom and legit all my friends believe I have some diagnosis. (I already have major depression and anxiety disorders diagnosed) I want to bring up this hyperfixation in my testing, but I want to make sure it's that and not something else. I feel like I'm going crazy, and I just want to know the truth.
So basically TL;DR: Getting obssessed with fiction is not pleasant as it takes over my life, and my brain makes it hard to exist normally. Is this hyperfixation? | ADHD |
For me some of my thoughts have lasted years, and though they have waned and waxed over this time they have never truly disappeared. It gets to the point some days where I am terrified I am still thinking this because it is real. Is it just me? | OCD |
Yesterday I overdosed on adderall. I'm prescribed 30mg adderall twice a day and found myself struggling in the afternoon so I carefully took a 3rd dose. Woke up at 3am and found myself crying and telling my mom what I did so she took me to the hospital for a check up. I eventually called my doctor and called upon to bring my meds on my appointment date November 2nd. I don't think he will take me off my meds but what if he will. I'm scared. | ADHD |
Hello,
In March last year we had a M5.8 earthquake in a city I live in, I was in a very bad condition back then, was even prescribed Alprazolam to calm me down because I couldn't function otherwise and doctor was afraid if she doesn't find a way to calm me down, my heart might burst every time aftershock hit. I started getting better, but on 29th of last month, there was another earthquake, 60ish km away from the city I live in, but this one was 6.4M... Despite being about 200km away from the epicenter this time I am bad again ever since then, and on every sound that sounds anything similar to an earthquake I start to panic, my body starts shaking and my heart beat goes insane... Doctor said it's temporary PTSD in March but the more time passes the more I think it's not just temp....
I am wondering if there is anyone who went through anything similar and can give me any advice on how to cope with everything going on atm. Despite being quite far from what is going on I can't calm down on get stuff of my mind... Like today my boyfriend hit the door and it sounded like an earthquake and I just went crazy despite knowing that he hit the door...
Any advice is welcome because I just can't go on like this as it kinda doesn't make sense, and if it wasn't for Covid, I would seek professional help... | ptsd |
At the grocery store, I saw two yogurt cups with lids that didn’t match the flavor. One had a strawberry cup and a vanilla lid, the other had a vanilla cup with a strawberry lid. I told my mom and she said, “what if they were tampered with”, as a joke, but I didn’t take it as a joke, and for the rest of the grocery trip I was constantly checking and paranoid that my food was tampered with. I’m not sure if this will become another obsession as I’m not sure what to do now. | OCD |
Today, for some reason, I can't feel anything. I can't feel worry for the one I love, I can't feel my love for her either. I can't find energy to think about or do anything
It's like it all magically vanished overnight just to come back tomorrow.
I already struggle so much with self-doubt, I didn't need to have days where I can't feel anything.
The only thing I can sort of feel is sex/porn addiction creeping back in to an even lesser satisfaction then it may usually have.
It's so hard to have to know who I am and what I feel when sometimes these things just randomly mutate in and out and makes it feel like I feel two different ways. It's a constant battle against myself to not lose myself or my sanity. | depression |
I’m reluctant to get a prescription for my OCD because of my fear of prescription medications. I feel like they would numb me or control me and I don’t know how to get out of it without taking those medications, it’s such a catch-22 | OCD |
i got into my first relationship and trauma just won’t stop coming back up and ruining it. i’m having such a hard time distinguishing between reality and flashbacks or normal non-perfect human behavior or genuine red flags. i’m so tired of it. how do you guys remind sane in relationships? i feel like i’m falling apart | ptsd |
I saw some random person on TikTok say that people with dyed hair and piercings were ugly and scary and should look like normal people and bla bla. Typical first grader level conservative trollbait.
But it made me so sad and worried and I legitimately was close to writing an apology to this random internet stranger that was probably just a troll. This was a smaller thing, if someone disagrees with me on a big political issue I can spiral so hard.
Idk this just feels like an OCD thing. | OCD |
Cynthia acted normal at first. One thing I didn’t notice until now is that her compliments were insults. She negged me.
She insulted my clothes, my intelligence, and my family.
I fell in love with a fellow patient, and it wasn’t because of lack of affection. We both came out as bi. I did it on fb w a post, and she just listed that she was into women and men.
We eventually got caught, with a weird twist. A girl named F liked me and pursued me hard. She’d shove magazine clips of babies and cookies under the bathroom door. She tried to kiss me, and I politely told her no. I was warned by my mom that she’d say I was the borderline stalker. She was right.
We were brought into the director’s office. A man who hated people who weren’t straight. He said we were disgusting. Stuff like that. I and me had been in his office before so now was the big punishment which started something that changed everything.
Individual time out for 3 days. (You have to sit at a desk and you can’t even eat dinner w everyone.) F didn’t get ITO but I and me did. Then afterwards we were put on a 5 foot rule. I and me couldn’t be within 5 feet. The staff were very clear because they basically followed us to make sure.
It put a strain on the only good thing I had there. Cynthia then asked me to tell her anything that was happening. If I did this I could be let out faster. She was lying, and It was a horrible deal to make. Everyone knew and I was isolated. However Cynthia manipulated me because I wasn’t treated as badly as everyone. I had visits weekly overnight. It had been over 6 months since I got there.
Two things then happened that changed everything forever. “I” told me she was going to have sex for her 16th bday, which was on her two night overnight. I can’t explain how Cynthia got me to tell her but “I” ended up not going home that weekend and hysterically crying. I could here her door lock early. ( important)
I didn’t want to be her tool to hurt my friends anymore. I was terrified to stop though. There was a girl, L who was very cruel to me. She could also be so manipulative that a person would forget how cruel she was.
She told me that she’d been exchanging love letters w a girl from the other unit. ( there were two units right next to each other and they each had a different therapist *important).
Cynthia was pressuring me more and more to tell her stuff. I was terrified of L, she was a psychopath ( which I didn’t know yet), but I had to give Cynthia something. So I told.
It was a weekend when L found out. Cynthia had told L and I ( everyone) that I was her snitch which I didn’t know.
Cynthia was on the unit. Kristine was also there because she was in charge of the unit.
Vicky was there too. That’s when all hell broke loose.
L came screaming at me. She said she’d kill me that night by asphyxiation. No staff took her privs that I recall. She ate dinner w us. Her punishment for the letters was losing visitation and she wasn’t allowed to talk to the girl at school. So no contact between them. I do remember her promising to murder me. Before that night we could always lock our doors because the staff had keys. That same fucking night Cynthia said we could not use our locks anymore. If we did it would affect visitation.
I was terrified. This still makes me question Cynthia’s sadistic streak. Why after my life was threatened was the opposite of what would keep me safe done? After that I refused to be her informant anymore. Then the abuse really got worse.
That night I couldn’t sleep. I never asked why after my life was threatened, no precautions were put in place. If you threatened another patient’s life you were supposed to be sent to SOGS. I can’t remember what it was actually called. I’ve tried to find it, but I can’t. The girls who were sent there temporarily were taken away in shackles. | ptsd |
I just saw a reel where the guy has someone call twice a month and tell him they’re coming over in 30 minutes (but he’s forgotten he did that). Friend calls. He proceeds to hyper-focus on getting his house clean before the friend gets there.
45 minutes later, the friend calls and asks how cleaning went.
I could have really used that kind of motivation in my high school days. | ADHD |
Especially now a days. Resist the temptation to vomit your info onto a person.
If they touch on a subject you know a lot about, collect yourself and give them bread crumbs.
**Always leave them wanting more.** | aspergers |
Ive had mental problems since a little kid and i never knew why. For the most part i was and am socially anxious. It was my default predecessor. Kindergarten through 1st grade i didnt even say a word. Just nodded my head and made gestures. Quiet as hell. 2nd grade is where i started making friends and started becoming comfortable talking, it was a little bit but still. Turns out my speech was distorted and i had to be put into a speech impediment class. (And til this day i think my speech is slurred and not articulate enough, although it does range from how confident/ socially anxious i am) i had immense mental breakdowns as a kid as well, i wont get into specifics but whenever i got mad at my family id get really freaking angry to the point where i scratched my face viciously. A whole bunch of mood swings. One cool thing is my imagination was immaculate, i didnt need toys because id simply use my imagination to create scenes/battles. I actually preferred this over toys because i had the power to create any character i want.
As a preteen (middle school) i was awfully socially anxious, i first went into depression halfway through 6th grade i think. And it stuck with me til this day. I think the source of the depression was incapability to express and communicate with others. Now i was "normal" so it seemed, but inside i felt like there was a wall disconnecting me from everyone. Ofc i got bullied here and there for my lack of social skills like missing social cues etc.. I even remember 7th grade was the very first time i felt suicidal. I remember never leaving my bed, never eating, watching a lot of porn, playing a lot of video games. I was a mess.
Highschool i somehow started getting more confident and social but there still seemed to be some sort of disassociation.. I still couldn't express myself properly and i was still very awkward and timid. Tbh i knew i thought differently from everybody else, but i thought the reason was just that i was smarter than everyone else.
Now til this day i (m17) still struggle heavily with mental health. I have mood swings, social anxiety, adhd, depression and i get suicidal. And through growing up i now realize the problem with me. Now im not officially diagnosed but cmon bro, i can confidently say that its evident theres something wrong with me. Even if im not a aspie i have a mixture of horrible mental disorders.
Idk i just thought id share my story. Currently i have no friends because i suck at being social lol. I daydream a lot. Im not mentally stable. And im weird as hell lmaoo. But im normal enough to disguise it. | aspergers |
I just finished reading a novel and went on Goodreads to do a review of it. The book was phenomenal, and I enjoyed it greatly. When I actually sit down and get ready to type, however, all that came out was basically “this book is good” and “you should read it if you like this genre”.
Meanwhile, all the other reviews are essentially essays that analyze every scope of the book in detail. I definitely had relevant thoughts spinning around in my head after finishing the book, yet nothing short of an extremely brief bottom line managed to come out.
It’s a bit of an issue for an aspiring writer such as myself, and I feel awkward being the literature simpleton. | ADHD |
I have an acquaintance (housemate's friend) who diagnosed himself with Asperger's, and uses that as an excuse for why he's "incapable" of following through on what he says he's going to do. Namely, he agrees to phone her on a certain day to chat or make plans, and then he doesn't call, and calling him goes straight to voicemail which he doesn't return. When they do makes plans, half the time he's 1-2 hours late, and the other half he doesn't show up at all, without any communication to send his regrets.
As a recovering addict myself, and knowing that he smokes weed daily from morning to night, my opinion is that his unreliable behaviour is more consistent with being an addict. Besides being in denial, I think he's giving aspies a bad name by using his self-diagnosis to justify being a dick.
I have a few friends with actual Asperger's diagnoses, and they are hyper-aware of hurting others and go out of their way never to do it, even to their own detriment at times. If they're not up to social interaction, they'll at least let you know they're not coming.
My housemate is really hurt by his behaviour. She's asked him if he shows up this way at work, and he says "no way, I'd be out of a job." So that implies he has the basic capacity to be reliable, and that he's choosing not to in his personal relationships (even his children, apparently).
I feel sad for my housemate. She's really hurt by his lack of consideration for her feelings. She's an extrovert and because of covid, she's lost most of her social interaction and she's really lonely and getting depressed. She's about ready to throw in the towel on this friendship, but he's one of the few people she can still see and she's reluctant to give up.
She talks about wanting to teach him he can go beyond his perceived limitations, but my sense is that's a codependent fool's errand. It doesn't matter much whether he "can't" be reliable or simply "won't," the reality is he "isn't" and the sooner she can accept that, the less she'll torture herself with false hope. | aspergers |
Any feedback would be appreciated at this point… I don’t even know what to do anymore.
I was put on a month trial for Ritalin (10mg) 2x/day, and it’s actually been helping me so much in the mornings, it lasts around 2-3 hours, and I crash like crazy. I get an awful headache, feel a little dizzy, sometimes really hungry, and just very disassociated in general. The second redose makes me feel better, but still a little disoriented but I’m to at least focus somewhat.
I only have a certain amount for a few weeks, and I’ve been doing 3 doses/day so I don’t crash for too long. I was thinking it had something to do with my body metabolizing it so quickly. I want to try an extended release stimulant, but I have a really close minded unstable family (lol) and I’m not sure how to approach them about it… They literally told me it’s either this or nothing because they don’t want to waste their time watching me “try out drugs” only to get addicted to them. They literally have the idea that if this stimulant doesn’t make me some child prodigy than I don’t have true ADHD. | ADHD |
I was diagnosed with OCD recently. It took a while for it to sit in. I was in denial for a while even before that this was OCD. Even one of my therapists dismissed it as bad anxiety getting worse with big changes. What made it different was the amount of checking I did. It was monotonous.
I constantly checked everything from doorknobs, to burners, and everything had to be exact (my bank account couldn’t go off budget, things had to be in order, I had to feel happy all the time in my relationship, the list goes on). Finally I decided to check again if this was possibly ocd through NOCD. I still was in denial even after that. But then I started doing my first exercises of ERP.
It was very tough but I started to see a bit of a light at the end of the tunnel. I was able to label these intrusive thoughts and anxieties. I also was able to manage the fears and lean further into uncertainty when I usually avoided it. It hasn’t been a sprint, but more of a marathon and unfortunately I still fall back to the same patterns especially cause my OCD tends to latch on to a ton of things. But I feel better equipped to deal with the thoughts. And to just keep leaning in.
I hope everyone takes this as some motivation or clarity as you face your OCD battles. Unfortunately there’s no cure all but you can take solace in knowing your symptoms can be managed. | OCD |
Running doesn't cut it anymore. It's too long and the distance and pace I have to go to feel the benefits isn't sustainable. And actually getting to the gym is difficult.
When I get angry- which is a lot, in concentrated, intolerable bursts- I want to self harm. I want to beat myself to a pulp. I also apparently value my own life and my own comfort as I often fail to actually harm myself at all and just sort of curl up in a ball and internalise it all and fail to sleep or eat or do anything.
Instead, I've taken to exercise. Not a once-per-day-in-the-gym sort of thing, but things I can launch into with a second's notice. Push ups, crunches, burpees and such. But I'm also weak as hell and I reach a point where I'm physically unable to continue and still have mountains of please let me hunt a deer with my bare hands energy left over.
Does anyone else do this and can recommend things? I'm looking to google also, but I hate visiting workout websites because the page is always moving around and filled with ads and other nonsense and they take literally 5 pages of text to actually get to the point. | ADHD |
If I wasn’t such a pussy i would take my life now I can’t stand this suffering anymore | depression |
I was diagnosed with depression back in October and took a medical leave from school in November. My parents want me to get out of the house, partially so I can interact with people and partially so we don’t just thrust me back into school (tried that, didn’t help).
What are some fun things I can do to get out and interact? | depression |
I've recently realized something about the way I think (and have always thought), and I'm wondering if this is something that anyone else experiences.
This was brought to my attention when a friend of mine, upon figuring out that I was a "leo rising", said that I "always felt like I was on stage." I don't really give much credence to astrology, but I realized there was some truth to this. I realized that I'm always "picturing" myself, and how I look in that instance to others. I realized that sometimes, I expect my life to play out as a movie would, and that sometimes I subconsciously act in accordance with how I've seen people act in those situations in film and other media. I've struggled with substance abuse in the past, and while my eventual dependence was unrelated to this, my initial use, I feel, was influenced by my subconscious desire to "appear" a certain way, as many protagonists in media are functional users. For example, take the alcoholic writer, detective, or coder, that is weirdly good at their job and ends up doing something revolutionary. Or Denzel Washington in "Flight", a pilot who saves hundreds of passengers by pulling an impossible maneuver in the air while being impaired on various substances. Over time, of course, I realized that the portrayal is often glorified, and in practice, substance abuse is ugly. It just kills you slowly, and the above examples are almost nonexistent exceptions. Thankfully, I no longer have these issues.
I realized, obviously, that media is not reality, and that I shouldn't expect this or act like this. But this comes back to my issue with "masking"; I don't really know how to act around others and have always struggled with appearing "normal" and "fitting the mold." This was a large factor in my ADD diagnosis, along with my inability to listen to others and retain information when I hear it, as opposed to reading or hands-on learning. The exception is when I'm actually interested in what is being said, which is rare. I've had to essentially "relearn" human interaction. I've tried to focus on portraying myself, and articulating my thoughts, in a genuine manner independent of what I've seen others do.
To be clear, this is not an issue with decorum. I am successful in a career that is largely defined by professionalism, and I know what is appropriate to say around certain audiences. I have a "filter". However, at times, I still feel like I am "acting." I don't particularly enjoy being around other people other than close friends and my amazing partner. My medications help with this immensely. I've heard this referred to as imposter syndrome, or main character syndrome, but I'm not entirely sure my thought process falls under these definitions. Can anyone else relate? | ADHD |
Finally get to a routine where everything is good then BAM I have no motivation. I get it, I have to take two antidepressants during this week but it's like my brain wants motivation and my body wants rest. It's frustrating. | depression |
Today I had a parents meeting where as parents go to their kids school and they individually communicate with each teacher of each subject. So pretty much some teachers told my mom that I was a really great kid but I need to study more. (Mind you I've always been an excellent student but I have developed anxiety, ed, body dysmorphia and depression and so it's really hard to concentrate) And so my mom said that I should stop following those dumb dreams of mine and I need to only focus on studying. And she said that she will take my internet privileges away. (Meaning that I'll only use internet to study) She also said that she won't let me see my friends and that the only thing I will do all day is pretty much just study because she "cares" about my reputation at school and doesn't want me to get low grades. (I literally try so fcking hard to study and I try so hard to do my best but ofc it can never be enough. I fcking hate myself. Whenever I get a bad grade I cry for like 3 hours straight and I cry myself to sleep as well...Even today when some teachers were criticising me I started to cry, and still she thinks I don't care about my grades...I told her how much I was trying but she didn't bother at all to even care)...Anyways, my dream was to be a kpop idol. Not anymore tho. I will study hard and I will get a job that my parents like just so I can make them happy and proud of me for once...I probably won't like the job and I have to give up my dream for it but whatever...If I get any bad grades the 2nd semester she's going to be so mad and she will probably take away everything i have and she will force me to study...Idk how I'm going to live like this. I most likely will end up committing su*c*de and I hope that that will teach them to treat students better and to never put a lot of stress on them because this will most likely be the ending... | depression |
Im going to have urges, inexhaustible intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideations anyway, so why shouldnt I at least have the catharsis?
I havent hurt myself since 2019 now but.... I dont understand why I shouldnt.
I see people worrying about others when they hurt themselves or attempt suicide but ultimately shouldnt the decision be left to the individual?? Shouldnt it be our own choice?? | depression |
Inb4 I'm in no way associated with the dev. I'm sharing because I think this can help people.
Just wanted to drop in quick to talk about the Alarmy alarm clock app. This thing has saved my ass so many times. It's got lots of options (math problems are popular), but I only use one.
It sets an alarm that can only be turned off by taking a picture of the same thing every day. I use a poster in my living room, so I actually have to get out of bed and walk to the living room to turn it off. Even turning off your phone won't reset it. No more sleeping through 20 alarms, and no more hour of groggy bed scrolling. Yay for the little victories! | ADHD |
I have read a lot about OCD and I can relate to a lot of the things I read. I'm not 100% sure that I have OCD.
I count a lot when I walk past something I count my steps and hope it will either be 5 or 10 steps. It could be a trash can, bench, driveway, basically anything. I do this all the time and I can not stop it.
I do skin picking, at first I thought that it was a bad habit. I can not stop doing it. Sometimes my hands are bleeding because I pull dead skin and fingernails. My hands are ugly because of this.
The third thing I experience is thoughts that someone in my family will die. I can easily cry because I get a bad thought I can't erase. It could be in a car with my family, it could be in my bed at night trying to sleep, or a school. I don't want to hold back tears at school because I get thought that says my mum will die today.
I'm only 14 and I have not told my parents or anyone else about my OCD. I feel like if I tell my parents and I go to see a doctor and I don't have OCD then I will feel embarrassed and stupid.
If you have any advice I would want to hear it. | OCD |
Growing up, I (17F) didn't really suspect that I was anything but neurotypical. When I got panic attacks, I convinced myself they were spur of the moment things (and they were, for the most part). I always had problems with concentration and short term memory (I don't pay attention to most things around me, and if I do, it's because I'm hyper fixated on something), but again, I just thought I didn't like to sit still. I chronically bite my nails and pick at my skin, and again, didn't really question it.
When I grew older, I had a boyfriend for 2 years. Once the excitement of the honeymoon period was over, I remember needing more and more and more stimulation and validation from him. After I broke up with him, I got more into partying, drinking and drugs. Piercings and tattoos as well. I don't abuse alcohol for the most part but I definitely got dependent on we\*d to keep me going, and my current vice is nicotine. All throughout this, sex was an on and off thing that I'd go running back to when I craved that extra dopamine and stimulation.
My grades are slipping. I went from a great, straight-A student to average, and missing all my deadlines. All I pursue these days are quick thrills like sex or getting a new piercing, tattoo etc. I didn't know what was wrong with me and why I felt so unhappy with my life, that I was never satisfied with anything unless it was emotionally thrilling and exciting.
Then, I made a new friend... and he told me he had ADHD, and that he has no doubt that I have it too. We're basically the same person. I don't know what the purpose of this rant is... I think I just wanted to vent my story, because later today, in a few hours, I'm going to see a psychiatrist and get this thing diagnosed.
All my life it's like I've been either chasing a high or running away from my own shitstorm of emotions, and I guess I want to be diagnosed... so maybe I can figure out what's going on with me, and what makes me truly happy in this world.... 😅 | ADHD |
Literally happens every week, getting sucked into fantasies and plans to do things while no effort goes in, and after day dreaming my plans out I've already exhausted the motivation to take action towards any of the seven fleeting, and temporarily all consuming ideas. Does anyone else have similar issues like this? | ADHD |
So this might seem a little rambly, but I feel like giving context I guess. Since the beginning of this school year (I'm a high school sophomore) I've had an inane fixation/obsession with this girl, and only recently has it gone away. during the course of it's existence, I developed more obsessions and fixations on certain other girls. These fixations die out after I ask them out and they say no (it's happened 8 times by now). I recently asked out the girl that I'd had the obsession with for so long, and as you could of guessed, it was a no. After getting rejected I get super sad, even though it's always exactly what I expected. But with this girl, it was different. This girl was the cutest, funniest, nicest, and prettiest girl on the planets and I spent around 3 weeks after she rejected me telling myself I'd never find another girl as good as her. But within the past 2 weeks, I've developed a new obsession with a girl, to the point where I can't focus on my work during class because she sits next to me and I can't stop glancing at her and thinking about her and daydreaming about her. It's not a sexual thing, I just crave a romantic relationship with these girls more than anything else. How do I stop this endless cycle? I know for a fact that this current one will end in rejection and me feeling sorry for myself for not getting with "the one", and I really want to stop this type of thing from happening. | aspergers |
I dont see why I need them. All they do is cover up my shitty reality. I can function fine without them. I dont care how depressed or suicidal I am without them. They only clog up my body. I am only a number in the mental health system. Others are waiting on appts who can actually benefit. | depression |
The thought of me killing myself still lingers and I know there’s more to life but I honestly wish I could do it. I have a plan on doing it in 2 years but I wish I could do it now | depression |
The other day, I learned about this [new study](https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.631596/full) that came out just around a month ago. It is a widespread in-depth review of the concept of autistic inertia, a symptom of the spectrum that seems to be vastly under-researched.
The article describes the difficulties many of us face with task initiation as well as transition states and switching tasks generally. The most interesting finding for me was the discussion of autistic catatonia. I've been suffering from some sort of catatonia for a few years now, in where it feels like, as the article describes, a "brain-body disconnect." I'll feel frozen in place, and I can't move my arm even if my brain is telling it to move. This symptom had freaked me out for years, and I ended up generally attributing it to some sort of "freezing" state induced by anxiety (which I also struggle with). I can't believe--if it truly does occur in \~20% of autistic individuals--that I had never heard about this.
Does anyone else struggle with this symptom or just autistic inertia in general? What are your experiences with it? | aspergers |
Thought I would share it
https://onbeing.org/programs/bessel-van-der-kolk-trauma-the-body-and-2021/ | ptsd |
so as a result of ptsd i cannot talk about many subjects, since they remind me of what i've gone through. Well I tried to push boundaries and engage in an conversation (cuz i'm an idiot and knew i wasn't ready), and i immediately left the room and started crying the bathroom, because it upset me so much so this RLY confirms that I'm really not ready/stable enough yet to at least talk about some of the things. I'm kinda proud though that at least I tried ugh, i'm calm now | ptsd |
Sometimes I'll be just stuck on my phone so I'll open up my university email and look it over to make my brain remember I am in school and have assignments
It's like a 50% success rate of making me go "oh wow yeah I have to submit this thing or reply to this discussion board post!" but it's easier to do that on my laptop, so the urgency makes it easier to actually open my laptop. And then doing school stuff is easier on my laptop then my phone, so there is some relief on being able to do something faster than I was just doing on my phone.
YMMV | ADHD |
The one I got trauma from is probably my father since I'm very scared of him. But for some reason I feel like I'm not angry at him, and instead I'm angry at my mother. It's not that I'm not afraid of my mother, but not that much as my father to the point that sometimes I just can't stand next to him, or stand him standing next to me, that I just want to yell because I get very irritated and nervous. And I feel like I'm trying to do everything to exact revenge on them (but not really executing), or trying so that they won't get what they want, but at the end the one who is getting hurt is me. I don't act absolutely on my emotions, I can't say that I'm absolutely subdue to this feeling like a kid, like, a hot-headed, but there is just so many emotions, so much unsatisfied, not said, that sometimes it reminds of its existence, if not always, but I can't act on it, like a kid, so I keep it cool and under control. But still that it is not really my message, but rather how I feel poisoned and is hurting myself. | ptsd |
Good afternoon everyone, I hope everyone is feeling good/better today. Remember to eat something and drink water, your body needs it.
This will probably be a really long and somewhat narcissistic post (hence the throwaway account) but I have never had this feeling before and I don’t know where else to talk so I hope this community can be somewhat receptive. I am only seeking a discussion, advice, constructive criticism, or brutal honesty. A general background: I am not in any danger of hurting myself, but I have reached a point where if death knocks at my door due to circumstances out of my control, I would just stare back with glazed eyes and not a care in the world. It's almost like I am 90 years old on my death bed and not worried if it takes me. (for reference I am only 23m) I am taking Wellbutrin XL for GAD and MDD. I am also taking Vyvanse ER for my extreme ADD. Both medications have been amazing and have improved my quality of life ten-fold. This issue is stemming from something that I feel medication or treatment won't solve, but merely a discussion with someone.
Now onto my best analysis of the issue and what I seek advice on:
In order to better understand what is going on, I must share some details about myself and my life. I am a 23-year-old student at a top research university in the US. I am not overworked, and I am actually a solid B student and am content with my academic goals. I am charismatic and have friends, I also have a wonderful long-term girlfriend. I recently applied to pharmacy school, a career I have been extremely passionate about, and have gotten into every school I applied to. My family life growing up was great, mom and dad and two younger siblings, all very close. Your typical nuclear southern family. I was adopted at birth, from biological parents that were drug addicts, could never get out of their hole, and was afforded a better life, and I have truly made the most of it. I have many hobbies, from drug/vaccine research in a lab at school, working as a pharmacy technician in a hospital, gaming, anime, building scale models, cooking, long-distance running, going out to breweries, and learning Japanese. I am active in my fraternity and have been abroad on a medical mission trip to Guatemala to help those in need. What I am trying to get at here is that I feel accomplished with no regrets. Any goal I put before myself I worked hard at, failed over and over until I have achieved it. I am not perfect, I have lost friends, been a less than ideal son at times, and haven't always been there for others, but that is just part of the human experience. Recently I had almost an epiphany after completing the anime Re:zero. No form of tv show or movie has made me feel the emotions this show has, and it is truly a work of art (weebs please keep the opinions polite hahaha) Without spoiling too much, there are times where the main character is GENUINELY helpless, like we may feel in real life, but somehow, in the end, it all works out, and at the same time he starts to not fear death, as there are no consequences. Now I'm not saying there aren't any consequences to death irl, but I had two things hit me: no matter how hard I try to overcome obstacles and actually get my goal, it will never be like in anime. Yes, that is stupid and I know that's not how real life works but meh what can I say. It's almost like I just got hit with the imagination of a child when you could daydream as a kid and it was awesome. But when I got the same feeling now, I am old enough to differentiate reality from fantasy, so rather it being an escape, it just made me sad. Unlike the anime, I have a path ahead of me, I have goals because that's how this world works. And I either get there or I don't. I would rather it be like the anime, no goals, no idea where I am or what's going on, and an adventure to go on with surprises. Life isn't like that for me, I either achieve what I set out to do or I don't, there's no sudden plot twist, no new breakthroughs... it's just...boring. The second part is...I feel like I have already plateaued. I have gotten all these achievements, I have felt the joy of helping others, I have been in love, I have felt the pain of losing the ones I love, I have been helpless at times, I have seen a glimpse of what it's like to raise a kid (right before I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's my dad was commuting to work and my mom was out of state helping my grandmother so I drove my little brother to school, got to give him advice about girls, helped him on homework, cooked for him, and got to watch him grow through elementary school and middle school similar to a proud parent, not exact but close enough) like what else is there? Get married? Have a career? raise a kid and then be like "okay have fun in the world!" and then pass away? I can see the joys these bring but I am not sure how I can be more fulfilled. I will keep pressing on don't get me wrong, but the fact that I don't care if I die or not scares me. I do want to experience new things, I have thought about studying in Japan (interested in their pharmacology) but after that...when I grow old, I'm just scared to sit around with nothing but nostalgia. I feel if I passed on due to something not in my control, my life as it stands right now would actually be complete enough where I feel I haven't any regrets. And about loved ones? All I think is that they would be sad that I didn't get to live longer (if this was the case) but they don't know that I am already content. In other words, I am confident in their moving on, but I completely recognize the sadness they would face.
That's the gist of it, and I hope it wasn't confusing, I am a science person and not a writer so putting emotions into words on a screen is hard. In terms of solutions I have thought of, I went to my school's counseling session, but that did more harm than good. Just made me even more fatigued. I do plan to visit japan sometime soon, so hopefully, that could be a big enough change to help. I have even thought about tripping shrooms at one point, who knows. Any advice or criticism is needed. That's all I ask for. I hate sugar-coated stuff so if I'm just being stupid, just tell me, maybe the slap in the face I need to snap out of it. Also...if anyone wants me to drop my discord I would love to game with someone, VRchat, PC, switch, doesn't matter.
​
Sorry again for this being long | depression |
Just another of those ‘DAE’ posts.
This is a weird thing I’ve done my whole life, and curious if anyone relates.
When I’m trying to complete a task, and it’s not bright enough to see clearly, I have an overwhelming urge to close my eyes tightly and complete the task that way.
This is common for me in situations like searching for an item in my bag, or trying to find an item in my car at night etc.
My brain kind of tells me I’m better off with no visual input than not enough? It works too!
Anyone else experience this, or could perhaps enlighten me as to why my brain thinks this is a good idea? | aspergers |
I think might end up losing my job because I just can’t focus. The job has completely changed since when I started. It was boring but at least a little creative. Now it’s just turned into basically what feel like data entry. I knew it was going to be boring going in, but over time they’ve just wanted “100% Perfect” and I’m just incapable of it apparently. The work is so much more detailed now and there’s so many rules to remember.
I get called out for so many little mistakes. And honestly I think they’re valid call outs. My coworkers have seemed annoyed with me because of them and I’m pretty sure one of the other designers subtweeted about how I need to “do better” one time.
I wish I could do better :( It’s embarrassing to have a whole column devoted to your fuck ups that always need fixing. It reminds me of when I was young and I’d read the homework directions several times and still mess up and miss things. Then I’d just be told “you need to start reading the directions completely”.
I haven’t even got my portfolio together to look for another job right now because I’ve been so consumed trying to work and force myself to focus and getting distracted that it takes up the entire day…
Idk :/ like I’m good, but damn I’m tired of fighting my brain so much. | ADHD |
So for the past two years I (26) had been suffering from horrendous depression caused by my intrusive thoughts of my loved ones dying. I was constantly numb, unmotivated, had extreme brain fog. This was on top of the added stress of coming to terms that I'm trans and being in the closet, but besides that my biggest obsession was that I had no time because my loved ones would die soon. I was on Cymbalta and Abilify, which helped with the anxiety but did nothing for my depression. I had to quit 2 jobs do to feeling like I had absolutely no control over myself. Switched meds to Paxil, it did nothing but make me gain weight. Decided to quit antidepressants all together. Helped a bit after the brain zaps stopped but eventually my anxiety got worse so I was battling severe depression, anxiety, and OCD.
Fast forward to this March, very close to a complete breakdown/shutdown. Quit the second job, joined group therapy as per my solo therapist's suggestion, and started Trintellix (stupid expensive but very effective for my anxiety), it helped, but the depression and brain fog were still unbearable.
Then, some time in the summer my amazing psychiatrist mentioned putting me on a stimulant, Adderall. I was so excited because we all know OCD and ADHD can overlap in symptoms, be comorbid, etc., and the lack of focus and control was horrid. Never diagnosed with ADHD, but my psych saw how resistant my depression was and how my harm OCD was feeding into it. I've tried auxiliary medication before like the Abilify mentioned above, Wellbutrin, and neither never ever made me feel back to my "normal" that I had in high school (still riddled w anxiety and OCD but I was able to feel hope and excitement). I was nervous bc I knew it can worsen OCD.
Adderall (15mg a day, IR) has been a godsend. Brain fog cleared immediately. I haven't been able to put a thought or sentence together without it being excruciating for years. Hated talking and expressing anything. Look at me now, writing this novel of a post lmao. It isn't perfect, you have to learn how to be on it and how to refocus, but wow.
Regarding my OCD, with my depression gone I feel my OCD IMMENSELY with Adderall. I tic every day and have a lot more physical and just right compulsions, but compared to the absolute torture of Pure O, I feel satisfaction. Every thought goes through my OCD filter. But my OCD is something I can work very hard to understand and deal with because my depression is almost completely gone after years of slowly warping into someone unrecognizable.
tl;dr: If you have OCD and treatment resistant depression, maybe ask about Adderall or Vyvanse. I feel so "normal," still with a lot of neurodivergent tendencies, but my OCD is just my annoying imaginary friend again and not the grim reaper looming over my shoulder. There is hope.
P.S. came out of the closet, not fully, but being brave enough to be living closer to my authentic self thanks to Trintellix and Adderall has been insanely fulfilling despite the struggles I still face. I have control again. | OCD |
I’ve had severe ADHD diagnosed ever since I was six and was put on Adderall . I use to be very hyper and didn’t think much about stuff and was happy a lot. Once it reached freshman year approximately, I felt like I had to stop being hyper and control it. I was successful in doing so but now my brain seems to possessed all of the ADHD and it is making my life miserable. I get anxiety just by asking for help in class or thinking about my next class. It has ruined me and I feel like it will always be this way. I am very smart and I feel like my potential in life is gone. It sucks we live in a world where we have to hide our disabilities just to be accepted or respected by others. | ADHD |
A little over a year ago I was in an abusive relationship where I was sexually assaulted multiple times, and once quite violently. I’ve been working to recover for around 6 months now. One of my greatest joys has been film and film critique so I often try to see the newest obscure releases. Last night I went to see a film I did not know contained multiple incredibly graphic rape scenes and ended up having flashbacks as well as a panic attack in the venue before leaving 1/2 way through. I’m now terrified to go to sleep as the similarity of once of the scenes to my own experience has flooded my mind with the memories. I’ve had some herbal tea and watched meditation videos but I can’t get myself to let my guard down and settle. Does anyone know something that might help? And will it get easier? | ptsd |
I had an items to make and mail for a
Christmas gift. I've known this forever and I just can't get my ish together. Everyday for
over a week now i've been hoping to mail it,
but these small obstacles keep getting on my way. Today's obstacle was I don't have a box that's small enough to fit it, I should have noticed this before now. I'm so frustrated and anxious about it that I don't want to even mail it all. Do you guys ever get overwhelmed like this? | ADHD |
So I have suspected I may have ADHD/ be on the autism spectrum for years and I’ve always put off asking for a diagnosis evaluation. Until last-night in a drunken rage of being fed up with the way I am I submitted a somewhat essay E-consult to my doctor surgery for to be referred to a specialist and they instantly agreed and left forms for me to fill in at reception and then text me. I’ve put it off over fear of rejection/ fear of embarrassing myself over the potential that maybe I’m wrong. Well I am over the moon with the progress now and hope to at least get somewhere with this. | ADHD |
I remembered my first ocd thought. It was mostly about masturbation. I didn't have intrusive thoughts back then. But although, i did have some sort of false memories. When i first got my ocd thought, i was depressed and scared shitless for a month and constantly overthinking about ocd thoughts. What was your first time having an ocd thought? | OCD |
Is anyone not sad or happy when they get home they just dont feel anything? | depression |
I told my therapist something relating to my theme and he looked kind of shocked (or I perceived it that way because I was anxious). I didn’t mean for what I said to come out the way that it did- I feel I made it look worse the way that I said it. Then the session went on as normal but now I feel the need to clarify to him what I actually meant. I know this is a freakin’ compulsion and I’m not gonna do it but now I’m scared he views me as something I’m not. Ugh | OCD |
Hi Guys, i hope you’re all doing well:)
I have a silly question : how do you build a habit and stick to it ?
I really would love to have a real routine each morning where i would meditate et and get up at the same hour but i have trouble sticking to it so any advice is welcomed !
(I have been diagnosed with ADHD but I’m not on any medication for now, maybe the meds helps ?) | ADHD |
Ok, so I've mentioned this before on here, but not in-depth. I have both ADHD and Aspergers. The latter which I was diagnosed with later on. But with ADHD, there's a dark trait that's not commonly talked about that comes along with it: Narcissism and Ego.
So, I've been having this problem for years. But I do my best to bury it and contain it properly. In truth, I'm a very empathetic person these days and often kind to people.
But there's still that darkness that lingers within me...
***For a bit of background:***
For many years, I have had a tendency to look down at neurotypicals and I have had a huge amount of disdain for their herd mentality. They've fed my darker ego, knowing that I am more independent minded and am not prone to being easily influenced by the media, especially social media e.g. Instagram.
I've always cringed when people post selfies and taking group photos of each other. Always replicating behaviors around them and conforming, being part of the masses just make me sick to my stomach. I never could stand normies because of this. Especially Millennials and Zoomers, both of which are generations of people that I've grown to despise the most because they're the most guilty of operating like sheep. Boomers and Xers are far more respectable and likeable in the sense that they do not have such a herd mentality.
I mean honestly, there are moments where I feel like I'm in an RPG and everyone around me is an NPC. People having similar dialogue and personality sets everywhere. These hot girls I see? I can find millions more of them who look and act similar for crying out loud, so what makes them so special beyond their looks anyhow?
All of this gave me the impression that despite being so damned socially awkward and slightly out of shape, I was in a class above them due to my intellect and ability to perceive the world in a different light.
With Autistic people, I've always given them and my fellow Aspies a huge amount of respect because many of them in my experience shared a similar world view as I did with one of them calling Neurotypical people "drones". Again, it made me feel special and that we people with Autism Spectrum Disorder were actually in a higher class.
***Now keep in mind, I do not feel this way anymore. At least not anywhere near as much as I used to. But its prevalent enough to talk about it.***
But that's just the tip of the ice burg. ***Bringing us to the main topic!***
In my previous post, I mentioned that I thrive on competition. It's the primary source of my motivation to get ahead in life. I've always been envious of people's success in life and I couldn't stand it that these people, these neurotypicals who were so damn basic and boring in terms of personality, these fucking NPCs managed to get ahead of me.
I realize that there are plenty of neurotypicals who are just as intelligent, if not more intelligent than I am and there are so many people in their late 20s and early 30s who are leaps and bounds ahead of me. For the longest time, I've been unemployed and having to continue grinding through college. I fell behind due to medical issues last decade and now I'm fresh out of college at 26 and going to be 27 this month. So, I feel inferior to people who have a stable income and employment
In order to feel truly confident in myself with a high self-esteem, I need to be on a level > or = most of my peers who have are fit with a high grossing income. Wealth and Status have always been everything to me. I've always been one to compete and dominate over others in a power position. I've always felt the need to become a big shot in the world, to be someone of relevance, to be married to a beautiful woman and having a rich family that would be of high status.
I know, I'm coming off as a big time narcissist, but I swear to you that I'm not. In fact, I am often very empathetic to people and kind to people IRL and I get along just fine. But I do have this dark side of me in large part, due to my ADHD.
So please tell me, how do I overcome this? How do I purge this devil inside of me once and for all? | aspergers |
I am trying to cut down the number of times I wash my hands and I’m curious to know if it is “the norm” to not wash hands after brushing your teeth? | OCD |
I don't post on Reddit, i'm more of the lurker type. But i honestly am at my wits' end. I hope someone here can provide me with some insight. I'm not a native speaker so please bear with me.
My girlfriend (Asperger) and i have been dating for roughly 5 weeks. Everything was fine until 2 weeks ago. She had to deal with a lot of stressful events in her life in a very condensed time period. A new job, that requires her to drive on a regular basis (which she hadn't for several years prior and had to get used to again), getting vaccinated and having to deal with some side effects ect. Before that a friend of hers had to stay at her place the entire week because of some unforeseen circumstances (he originally planned to visit for 3 days).
To top it all of, her dog contracted a giradia infection, that is highly infectious for humans. She now got it too.
For over 2 weeks i barely hear from her, we only text every other day. The texts are very short and matter-of-fact, no affection whatsoever (which was the total opposite in the beginning). She says she has no idea what's wrong with her and has no clue how to explain it to me, since she's "completely numb". She sleeps most of the time and seems to be stuck in a pretty severe shutdown (i had to do some research, since i didn't know that something like this was even a thing).
I just don't know what to do. I give her all the space she needs and don't initiate contact anymore (i leave that to her, when she feels up for it). It's like she's stuck in the matrix and has little to no access to her emotions. It's like i'm in a relationship with someone who's being held captive in an unknown location. Should i just wait it out and hope for the best? I mean, trying to get her to talk about it seems to make matters worse. Should she get professional help? I'm really lost. | aspergers |
I heard people who are pedophiles are that way because of genetics. Is that true? I’ve been dealing with POCD and n9t 1 family member of mine is even close to being sexually attracted to kids. If this is the case I’d feel so much calmer. My OCD would have no room to stand on! | OCD |
So I’m going into a second semester of a college certificate program, I’m finally medicated and have done well in the first semester, better than I’ve ever done in school! I’m a high 80’s -90’s student! I’m able to do my work way more than before, and in class I’m engaged and participate instead of zoning out and making myself invisible in the back.
The problem that persists the most is my habit of skipping class. I can’t figure out how to -make- myself go. When the stress increases and I start getting tired, I have trouble forcing myself to go especially when my brain is super sleepy. I could take meds earlier but then they run out too soon (I use vyvanse) .
I’ve had this issue since elementary (I’d throw tantrums everyday trying to stay home) and will even fuck up my life by not showing up to work when I have a job.
It’s so hard to explain to people that willpower doesn’t work! I need to figure this out.
Does anyone have any tips? Is this an adhd thing? | ADHD |
I am not the best when it comes to breakups and my adhd/anxiety are heightened during this. It’s like I just want to be isolated so I lay down doing anything to distract my mind. Is there anything that can help with the letting go process? I can’t stop thinking of the worst things and getting out of the depressive state. I started seeing a therapist but one 50 minute session a week seems like such a small time frame to actually be able to deal with this feelings. | ADHD |
It dawned upon me earlier that, for the most part, OCD doesn’t affect me anymore. Of course, it is and will continue to be there, but it is under control - and that’s amazing. I’ve been through the very lowest of the lowest, and my anxieties peaked maybe 4 years ago when I was at school preparing for my GCSE exams. I thought I was fully insane, and I felt alone in the universe. I thought nobody could ever understand the pain I was going through. But, things got better; gradually, and slowly, I came to terms with my illness, and made peace with it. I like to think I live my day-to-day life in a tranquil state of mind now - something I thought years ago would never return. So I guess the reason for the post is don’t lose hope. Things may seem fucking terrifying right now, and I completely get that. I was there. But you will feel better. I’m sure of it. | OCD |
Seems like the majority of this sub don't like rap which honestly sucks as a rap fan but not surprising since a lot of aspies don't like music that lean towards being aggressive (obviously not all rap is aggressive but many songs are). So I wonder if there's anyone here that like R&B music like SWV, TLC, Ginuwine, Aaliyah, Joe, Ja Rule and even modern singers like Frank Ocean, HER, Summer Walker, SZA, Masego, Chloe x Halle etc.? | aspergers |
I know when people talk about harm OCD, it’s usually about the person with OCD having intrusive thoughts that THEY are going to hurt someone. But can you also have thoughts that someone is going to hurt you?
I’ve had this since childhood but it sort of went away.... until I had some issues at work recently and kept getting these thoughts that my boss was going to yell at me and hit me. Although we were going through some stressful stuff at the time, my boss is a great person and we have a great relationship - and there are numerous reasons why she would never do anything like that. I’ve never been physically abused (that I know of?) so I’m unsure where these thoughts come from since most of my intrusive thoughts can be traced somehow to things that have happened to me.
I’m just wondering if this is something normal to experience with OCD and if anyone has had similar experiences? | OCD |
So I was diagnosed with Tourette’s as a kid. I twitch, make vocalizations, and have impulses to create certain sensations like rhythmic tapping. Now as a 31 yr old adult ive been diagnosed with adhd and I’ve learned that stimming is a thing ADHD people do. So now I don’t know if I have Tourette’s AND adhd or if it’s just been adhd my whole life! Have anyone been misdiagnosed with Tourette’s that ended up being adhd? Does anyone have both Tourette’s and adhd together? How do you tell the difference? (I guess knowing won’t help but since I’ll still be twitchy as hell) | ADHD |
I spend a lot of time thinking that if some things in my life had been different, I wouldn't be so messed up now. There are a bunch of things but honestly, I think they stem from two big ones:
1) When I was 8, the girl who babysat me molested me. She was 16 at the time, so I go back and forth between "Well, she was still a kid herself" and "Screw that, she knew what she was doing and abused a younger girl entrusted to her care." I have a lot of trouble trusting people. And I don't like anyone touching me; I tend to involuntarily recoil when someone does. Obviously, few people want to be around someone like that.
2) I have strabismus in my right eye. It's the first thing anyone notices when they meet me, and people have constantly mentioned it my entire life. Yes, I'm aware my right eye looks weird because it's not aligned with my left one. I hate it. I've always hated it. I wish I looked normal.
Maybe those two things not happening wouldn't have changed anything. Or much. But I kind of doubt it. I wonder if there's an alternate universe where those things are different and what the me there is like. | depression |
I just think about all the people I couldve been friends with or had a better relationship with. They couldve had someone fun to be around rather than some awkward boring mess. Especially the ones that really tried but I'm just so incapable of being normal and I feel bad I cant make them happy. | aspergers |
I recently became obsessed with Pink Floyd after going to a bitchin’ Pink Floyd cover band concert. Since then, I got a dark side of the moon prism tattoo on my forearm and almost exclusively listened to their music, changed the wallpaper on my devices to that album cover.
My special interest is music, I’m in a band as part of that outlet and I’m always listening to music. Sometimes I just have obsessions that I don’t really stop thinking about. Does anyone have special interests in one band or album in particular? Also is anyone else’s special interest music?? | aspergers |
**TW: Suicidal ideation, self harm, violence, physical abuse**
A lot's happened this week and I need to talk to some people because I'm really struggling. It's a long story that I'll shorten (even though it's still long) but if anyone has any questions about details feel free to ask. There are a lot of factors in this, so I hope it's not confusing, but they all fit together.
I was abused by my brother when I was a kid up until I was 14, on top of that I've struggled with mental illness my whole life and was always bullied by my peers, so that didn't help. I've been through a lot of therapy and I had been doing really well, he even came to me crying multiple times because he felt so bad and was so sorry. Then 2.5 years ago, when I was 21, we got into a fight and he charged at me, and said since he didn't remember the things he did then it didn't matter, it set me back a lot and I took a break from going to my dad's place because that's where he lived. My dad never punished him, all he did was say not to threaten his sister and that it doesn't matter if he didn't remember, it matters that I do, but beyond that nothing was done. My dad just pretended it never happened after this and never brought it up again and still baby's my brother. This reactivated a lot of flashbacks that still hit me at times, and also my nightmares got worse (even though they never fully went away).
Back in May my brother said that my mom and I ruined his childhood, to which I pointed out that he *literally* abused us, he denied this, said *"if"* he did it that I deserved it and was asking for it. Over the years he's gone from abusive asshole, admitting he was an abusive asshole, to denying he was an abusive asshole and now to blaming me for *"if"* he was an abusive asshole, honestly it makes me feel crazy. I've only seen him twice since then, first time was father's day where we didn't speak or even acknowledge each other, and just the other week for our little brother's birthday, we had said maybe 3 sentences to each other. Apparently, he had told my mom he felt really bad for what happened and her and my little brother called him out for how he treated us then and how he still treats us now (generally just being angry for no reason, which strikes fear in us) and she told him to leave me alone because I have my walls up and I'm not ready to talk about it.
Last week I passed the place where I was going to kill myself, I was going to do it because I had just admitted in group therapy all of the things he put me through and I couldn't handle it, when I wasn't able to commit suicide I had gone home and self harmed instead. It was hard for me going through that area again, but I tried my best just to push it aside, then I saw a post in another subreddit from a young woman who had the same childhood and it overwhelmed me, feelings of being a terrified little girl came back and I had flashbacks. I took a lorazepam and went home, only to breakdown and immediately call my therapist who I hadn't had a session with in 6 months. I was an absolute mess, but she managed to calm me down when I got over the top and talking to her as a professional really helped. I was still reeling, so I got in the shower and just sat and cried some more, because the bathroom is my safe place (for reasons that have to do with the abuse). Afterwards I sat in bed for a while, trying to push everything aside, then my boyfriend asked what's wrong and he just held me, then I broke down again and told him everything that had upset me.
He decided he would no longer allow me around my brother if he wasn't there, he doesn't trust that he won't hurt me again and doesn't trust my dad to stick up for me. He's angry with my dad for enabling my brother (for things beyond abuse) and not addressing these issues ever, he didn't witness much of it at his place because when we were younger the only thing he'd really do was lock me out of the house at night and hit me when my dad wasn't looking, when I told my dad, my brother would say I deserved it because I was annoying. Sometimes, my dad would actually agree with him, he also knew about all of this because my mom would tell him everything my brother was doing to us at her house and my dad would say that since it wasn't happening at his place then it's not his problem. Anyway, my boyfriend knows all this and he said if anything else happens regarding any of my PTSD that he'd confront my dad, because my brother still lives with him and my dad never does anything about my brother.
Well, come this Sunday, 2 days after the initial PTSD breakdown, my mom and I got to talking about the past, a bunch of stuff with my brother came up and I froze, tried to hold back my feelings because I had to go to work but I couldn't get the memories out of my head. When I got to work I tried to act fine, until my coworker asked if I was okay, then I broke down, she ended up sending me home and my boyfriend came to pick me up. Needless to say, he's furious, he's done seeing how this impacts me and he wants to do something about it, so he's calling my dad to call him out for everything regarding my brother.
I have no problem with him talking to my dad, at first I didn't want him to and begged him not to, but then I realized that my mom and I have both tried talking to him about my brother's issues and what he inflicted on us, but my dad just brushes it aside or says "I'm sorry" and never does anything. My mom and I have just felt like we're not being heard and give up when it comes to doing anything, my mom's given up telling my dad how to deal with my brother when it comes to his way of life, and I've given up trying to get my dad to understand what I've gone through because he makes excuses for my brother's actions.
Now, I'm scared for when my boyfriend talks to my dad, I'm worried my dad will also say it was my fault, that I was an annoying kid so of course my brother would hit me, but he did a lot that my dad doesn't know about. Rationally, I know that just because someone is annoying doesn't mean you hit them or try to kill them, but I'm still scared the blame will be placed on me.
I just need some reassurance from people that understand, to know I didn't deserve this, to let this out to people who get it. | ptsd |
I'm so angry at everything!!! I feel like I'm constantly working through every emotion all at once - anger, sadness, depression, anxiety, all the time!! I'm so fucking discouraged too. I woke up this morning and tried so hard to take care of myself. I had been neglecting doing the dishes, so I ate breakfast, listened to music, and wrote out a plan for the day even though I have been really sick this week and struggling to care for myself. I started doing the dishes, and then our landlord shut off the water without any notice??? So I got really frustrated and upset because my entire schedule was ruined and I couldn't even shower to take care of myself, or do the dishes that I had been neglecting, and then I kept hearing loud footsteps/banging/mens voices (probably just fiixing the pipes but it didnt help my anxiety) which started to trigger and overwhelm me - then I just completely broke down and started crying and gave up on my schedule for the day.
It becomes so EXHAUSTING to try to work through these issues, and try to gain a sense of safety and predictability, only for life to be unpredictable and mess up my head. I'm so upset. I just want to feel safe and not angry anymore. I feel crazy when things like this happen but I don't think anyone understands what its like to actively try and be healthy every day and then stressors just get in the way and I feel so fucking defeated. | ptsd |
Hello brains! My partner really struggles with his ADHD. Everything from time management, misplacing things, impulsive spending, alexithymia - the lot.
Are there any tools you use that might also happen to make a really helpful/thoughtful gift?
I want to get him something he wouldn’t get himself that will also really help.
He’s a grownup with a recent diagnosis (hallelujah). Meds have been helpful but he still really struggles.
Thanks much. I appreciate your input. | ADHD |
Usually my mild OCD is worse in the morning but goes when I drink coffee or green tea. I usually feel better after having a bit of caffeine as my sleep is usually poor quality and I have early morning awakening insomnia - so I wake up earlier than I should before I feel I've had a complete sleep. My OCD is also sometimes worse just before I go to bed. I feel a bit depressed at this time too - I also feel slightly depressed after having poor sleep in the morning, but the coffee eradicates it. Is there a reason why coffee helps my Ocd? Could it be improving my serotonin levels? I take Prozac 20mg daily. I also have sleep apnea. | OCD |
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