body stringlengths 51 39.8k | subreddit stringclasses 5 values |
|---|---|
I wanna see if anyone else is feeling this way, I’ve noticed recently that I don’t feel alive, like I’m just this thing in a body that breathes but doesn’t really live. I’ve been wanting to not do anything. Like shower or brush my teeth etc (the usual) but it’s different some how. I’ve lost interest in everything. My creativity has stopped, communication, etc. I feel like a mindless body that has no control. Idk it’s weird. | depression |
I run a family owned business and am just completely burned out right now. It's not even been running two months but it was 4 years in the making prior to launch. There's been lots of excitement and stress but I usually cope well.
I'm so utterly burned out that I'm now getting anxiety from email notifications and phone calls due to the building pressure to get stuff done. I usually thrive under pressure. But now I can't even bring myself to do simple tasks and the business will suffer if this continues, further adding to the pressure.
I'm diagnosed ADHD and ASD and I am prescribed meds for both the ADHD and anxiety. I think this is classic ADHD getting in the way as it feels just like when I've got bored with a hobby. All the planning and getting there was fun and interesting and now it's just boring paperwork and communication and I fear I've lost interest.
Any tips to get back on track would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks | ADHD |
It got bad again Monday. I keep seeing myself do horrendous things to people I still care about. I feel guilty for every single mistake I made in my previous relationship and break up. Its making me miss her and she has a new guy now and that causes tremendous pain. I feel likr a monster. I chased all my friends away bc I wouldnt shut up about this. Im having full blown conversations with her in my head and I hear her just tearing me apart with her words again. Over and over and over. Everyday. I feel insane and creepy for obsessing over her a year later but Ive TRIED so hard to get away and have some healing and peace and even some new love and Ive gotten nothing but suffering. Time heals all wounds but not when every day is a reminder of how bad you fucked up, or a movie starring you and your worst fears. Each day is a reminder that Im here forever. I just want the suffering to be over but she’s constantly on my mind and I cant make her leave. | OCD |
This makes me feel uncomfortable because every time someone says something that I don't understand I tend to say "but this doesn't make any sense". I explain my point of view and most people seem annoyed, I think(?)
I am considered a person with a good sense of humor, so sometimes I wonder if people are thinking that I do it on purpose. | aspergers |
some like to say
"you're not alone"
when you are in exile,
longing for home.
~
some of them smile,
acting so kind,
but they only want
to have peace of mind.
~
blood does not fall,
it trembles and weeps.
the more pain inflicted
the kinder it keeps.
~
love in the darkness,
hate in the light.
those who do care
will step in your night. | ptsd |
3 days ago I saw my psychiatrist, and he upped my vyvanse to 60mg from 50mg.
This is my 3rd month on medication, I haven’t really had any issues until this month. Naturally my doctor sent my prescriptions in and a little while later I got a text from Walgreens updating, vyvanse showing it’s being reviewed by the pharmacist. No big deal, figured I’d pick it up the next morning.
2 days later it’s still showing it’s being reviewed so I call (this was last night). They tell me my insurance won’t pay for it yet, spouts off some confusing stuff about it not mattering that the dosage changed they still won’t cover it yet. So I get off the phone with no answers just more confused and still not able to start my new dosage.
This morning as soon as I woke up I remembered I’ve been using a coupon card for this medication, not my insurance. So I call again. The person I talk to this morning tells me it’s NOT the insurance, it’s the pharmacist who won’t release my medication becuase it hasn’t been 30 days since I picked up my last one. He overlooked the dosage increase.
I’m dumbfounded. And so angry. I feel like I’m being treated like a junkie just because I realized my brain doesn’t work like it should and started treatment for it by a pharmacy I’ve used for over a decade. | ADHD |
Hi this is my first time telling anyone about this but I have to look at things 2 or 4 or 6 or 8 times. It’s exhausting. This is OCD right?? I just thought I would come on this subreddit and say that. Also how severe is that if that’s only like one of two ocd symptoms I have. | OCD |
EDIT: THIS IS THE LONGER VERSION AND DETAILED VERSION OF THE STORY. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM FOR A BLATANT VERSION.
I come from a terrible background. I’m currently 15 (nearly 16), and a female. My family was never great, and we always fought all the time for the stupidest things. Around May of 2017 my mother moved out of the house, and I was staying with my step dad. All seemed well. Up until the beginning of my freshman year (2018), everything started acting strange between my step dad and I. It just felt like something changed. I wasn’t sure of what, however.
The beginning of April 2019 rolls around and my boyfriend at the time (now ex) would come over frequently. My step dad was always okay with it and never had a problem with it. As teenagers we would of course do experimenting with what we like. At least 2 times in the dark, I would catch a figure in my window. I always ran to my stepdad, fairly confused on what’s going on. My boyfriend and I would have just assumed that it was a creep and was most likely a neighbor of mine, or something like that along the lines.
The end of May 2019 comes around. My boyfriend had said that my step dad was weird. We went up to the roof, and he had explained to me that the guy in the window we kept seeing was my step dad. I then told my boyfriend to come over and we’d search through his computer, mainly through the family files to see if what my step dad had told him was true.
The next morning during the car ride to school, my step dad noticed how weirded out I seemed to be, but I didnt bother telling him, “maybe it’s because you’re the creep in my window,” and causing a whole scenario, when I didn’t have the evidence to back it up.
The day goes by and my boyfriend comes over. I load up the computer, and surely enough, the files are there. I called my mother and the right authorities. I had moved out of the house that night, before my step-dad got home, and he was placed under a holding cell to the nearest jail.
I ended up living with my boyfriends family for a week and half (ish). I was still in school when all of this happened and I was in need of finishing the school year. The last section of the year was a part called “discovery project,” that you would do a research project at the end of the year, based off the class you got put in. You were only allowed to miss 8 hours of that class day, otherwise you’re considered a failed student.
My boyfriend could drive, so one day he was taking me back to his place, and had an absence seizure, or a multi-stage blackout (I’m unaware of which is considered the right diagnosis), behind the wheel. We had rolled down a 15 ft drop, and I ended up with a concussion, so I wasn’t able to go to school, and I panicked immediately because that meant I was going to fail freshman year. We ended up sorting everything out with the faculty, and I’m now a sophomore.
I had moved in with my aunt because the social worker had thought it was too dangerous to be living with my boyfriends family after the car accident. All went well until my step dad was released from his cell. They had said they placed him on a GPS tracking device. I was no longer able to leave the house without an escort or an under cover cop near me at all times.
My mother lived in Kansas, and so she was on her way back down to where I had originally lived, to come there and take me to Kansas to live with her. I had transferred to Kansas, and now I live with my mother.
Every single day I get flashbacks to the car accident, or my stepdad. I don’t know what to do. It gives me panic attacks and makes me pass out. I hyperventilate and start screaming in class randomly, because it all just fills my mind. I start losing myself. I have a therapist, and have therapists at the school that come rushing in if I start having an episode. I just don’t really have any other coping mechanisms besides telling myself, “you’re going to be okay,” and trying to do the 5 steps of grounding yourself.
Is there any one who can come up with ideas on coping?
EDIT: I’m so sorry— that wasn’t meant to be super long. Here’s a basic run down for people who doing want to read— I got sexually exploited by my step dad, got into a car accident, and can’t seem to stop having panic attacks. | ptsd |
Im so bored. I have OCD and im looking for others who suffer from OCD as well. I just want a buddy who understands. If anyone is out there and wants to chat hit me up. We can be bored together! | OCD |
TW: Suicidal themes and SH is mentioned.
This is going to be a really hard post for me to make and I'm not sure who is going to read this but I felt like speaking out after reading some posts on here, I hope however has similar experiences can tell me how to move on with my life because I'm so scared of myself.
So (F17) I have made posts which mostly talk about personal shit relating to 'sex' and my 'porn addiction' on [r/intrusivethoughts](https://www.reddit.com/r/intrusivethoughts/). For context I've been a porn addict since I was 6 or 7. I was also doing a lot of things with people at the age of 6 and 7 that no child should be exposed to. At first I found porn as something that was fun to watch when I was younger, I thought that's what 'love' is. That intimacy and connection. But now a days it's like I need to watch it all the time. I've gotten better. I remember seeing this post about having a porn addiction can make you go down a dark hole of getting off to stuff you would never expect. I didn't believe it, until most recently.
For a while I got off to questionable hentai and manga and other porn which replicates questionable stuff. I also got off to loli / shota stuff. However I never felt attracted to the 'younger' characters. I mostly fantasized about being in THEIR position or got off to the concept / situation of the particular porn / hentai. Not that it makes it any better. But I have questioned myself if that's even true after my realisation about what I was doing. I never realised how bad it was until I started doing a bit of research about it because I was curious then felt really sick.
Even though I have felt really guilty in the past, I feel like there is something that keeps making go back to these sites and it makes me feel horrible. I've stopped now though, I feel like I've scared myself off from porn sites. I have really bad intrusive thoughts in general, and everyday when I wake up, all I feel is shame and guilt. I have convinced myself I am a *p* and everyday I feel like I can't eat, I've SH, I've "committed" a few times and can't sleep. I've cried so many times after realising how bad it is. I remember looking into stuff if 'lolicon is really bad?' and the first thing that popped up was saying how 'CP is very illegal'. I can't look at any child the same, I can't watch movies or go outside or enjoy conversation with my parents because I just think about the fact that I am a fucking disappointment to them. I feel horrible and drained 24/7 and I don't know what to do. I've tried watching other porn and masterbating to different stuff to set my mind straight, but I just feel guilty and shameful still, because I automatically think back on what I have looked at or what I have gotten off to. I just hate feeling like this. I'm so scared because I know what my morals are and I know that a lot of this is probably just OCD, but please is there any way to make it stop? I just hate living like this. I'm so scared someone is going to find my search history and send it to family or the police.
I am planning on speaking to a therapist about this. But I also just wanted to reach out. | OCD |
sitting here staring at this project for school and im losing my shit over the fact the lines aren't straight, ive been erasing and re drawing them over and over again because i keep seeing it tilted and just laughed a bit to myself because damn here i am being the "epitome" of my illness | OCD |
I was diagnosed with ADD or inattentive type this summer, 28 female - and I think I’m still coming to terms about it. So many memories and struggles that finally make sense, but also - where does this start and my personality end? I have been on concerta 18 mg iirc for a few months, I thiiiink it helps but it’s hard to tell. I freelance and I have a new kitten so it’s hard to tell if I’m unproductive because my work is unpredictable and maybe I’m distracted because I’m obsessed with my baby cat. I’ve been thinking about increasing my meds for a few months but worry about appetite and side effects, doing fine on my current dose though. | ADHD |
Yesterday I was hanging out with some people, we had pizza and a couple of drinks. A fun lively night, with conversation going in all kinds of directions. Suddenly my car-accident-related ptsd got triggered really bad when one girl was elaborating carelessly about ruthless driving, about her dad being in accidents and so on. Usually I can handle these triggers quite ok, but she really found the not-so-sweet spot. I felt my stomach turn, my hands getting sweaty, dissociating and obsessing about the trauma. I really struggle with what to do in these situations. I try to calm down my body, feel a desire for a reaction, try to reconnect but I’m having the hardest time. What do you do in situations like these? | ptsd |
I have undiagnosed ADHD (combination, leaning towards inattentive). I found out about it about 5 months ago. There were very obvious signs in the past as well. I am still pulling it together, but I have some really significant roadblocks. I struggle with habit-making very much (like I know exercise makes me feel better, but I can't stick to it for a long period of time). I have mild body dysmorphia. I have anxiety. My anxiety worsened and became noticeable when my grades fell in my junior year of high school (I have linked my worth and my mood to my grades since the beginning). I have always been a bit of goody two shoes and people pleaser. I know I shouldn't be, but it's very ingrained. I have insomnia. I also have severe social anxiety, and when people mock me for avoiding 'dangerous' social situations, I internally scream that they have no idea how hard this is for me. My family scolds me for not always having a clean room, forgetting things, sometimes talking too much or remaining stoic etc. Sometimes I wonder if I am faking it just so I can blame my problems onto something.
I wondered if I should talk to a therapist and/or get medication, but the people around me aren't ones who will wholeheartedly support me through it. I also cannot afford therapy. I would say screw what people think, but I just can't take criticism anymore.
I am tired of this and I want to do something that'll actually help me heal. Please give me any tips you can. | ADHD |
I cannot stop “keeping tabs” of my mistakes. Overreactions I’ve had, things I’ve said but didn’t mean, arguments I’ve started, panic attacks/breakdowns I’ve had, etc. This is usually in the context of my romantic relationship. It’s like my brain will find any way to convince me I’m unworthy of love. And all the self-help/healing messages society pushes honestly make me feel worse, because they often say things like “they’re not healthy enough for a relationship” or “you need to heal yourself first,” but I think I will always be healing. | OCD |
Please don't comment compulsions!
For me it's ambiance noise (library, carriage, cafe..), emotional stuff (sequences of shows that make me cry etc. - in a non-sad way), heavy blankets and gaming | OCD |
I don't know if this makes sense, but I'm recently diagnosed. I am very confident of that diagnoses. However adhd is very new to me, well not really but my awareness of the condition and my knowledge of it is.
So I forget what is a symptom, and then I get this awful imposter syndrome because I think im just lazy and stupid. So I have to go through the symptoms of adhd and remind myself of what they are, and then my brain goes "oh yeah we have all of those , remember school you moron?"
https://youtu.be/wM05eFjsIUU this video is one I watched a long time ago before my diagnoses, it really made it click with me. The dude has an identical experience to me, we even got diagnosed at the same age, and don't even start me on losing stuff in school. (The people at lost and found knew me on a first name basis very quickly)
I was fully convinced my ego was trying to make an excuse for my shitty life, and adhd is a convenient excuse for my lack of achievements.
But my whole life and even my personality is just a series of symptoms, and unfortunately I need to remind myself of that so I'm not so self loathing. | ADHD |
Title says it all.
Can't help myself staying up too late doing a lot of small nothing's, or just sitting down for two minutes, getting up and walking around, look out the window, then sit down again. Repeat.
I know I should just go to bed but somehow I just don't do it...
Tips and tricks much appreciated!
Thanks for your time
Edit: I should make this clear: It's not falling asleep that's the problem (that's another problem for another day)
It's the act of taking clothes off, turning lights off, brushing teeth, going to bed.... It's the physical act of doing it. | ADHD |
Hello!
So I have a couple things I struggle with and wanna see if anyone here have some tips on how to deal with it, or can at least answer if it is an ADHD thing or just a weird me thing!
In case anyone is wondering, I am 24F, was diagnosed about 6 months ago, and on a medium-high dose of ritalin.
The first thing is jaw clenching. It was a bad habit I started doing before I got my diagnosis for ADHD and used to write off as a social-anxiety thing. The issue is that no matter if I try to focus on not doing it or if I just try to let my subconscious take care of trying to relax my jaw it just doesn't happen. On really bad days I get massive headaches and on better days I can still get the feeling that I'll end up "locking" my jaw open if I yawn or open my mouth too wide. Not sure what the English term actually is and can't even remember in my native language right now so can't google it either.
Anyone else experience this and have any tips on how to keep their jaw in a naturally relaxed position?
The second thing I would like some tips on is stopping the masking. I have built up a very long and exhausting list of things I do to appear more normal, and it's so bad that I can't even let myself go when at home.
I've tried to tell myself "Today we mask nothing!" Just to get in to work and do all of them again. I've also tried finding one thing to stop, but it usually doesn't really last. Bringing with me a fidget and maybe using it for five minutes a day is the furthest I've gotten.
And lastly I would like some tips for work! I work as a programmer, still very new at it and there are some things that are very difficult in the day-to-day.
\- If a meeting lasts for more than 10 minutes I'm in trouble. Even if I did manage to pay attention for the whole thing i will not be able to remember the things we agreed on, and my coworkers aren't keeping any notes, my notes make no sense and they keep insisting on meetings instead of writing me messages.
\- I feel really guilty that I usually refuse to have more than 2 jobs assigned to me while my team members have a minimum of 5. But if I have too many things on me I keep swapping and nothing ever gets done. Any tips for dealing with the guilt here?
\- I keep going outside of my "responsible area" and poke and prod at things that I see could be improved, but I am not "allowed" to work on because it belongs to another team. Do i just have to accept that I will always be the annoying person that goes "Hey! So as I was working on x project I noticed that your y project is set up like this, however I believe that if you do these adjustments you'll have a 'insert found effect.' " Or do anyone have any tips on how to NOT end up researching how that other thing works to make sure you're using it correctly? | ADHD |
Doing things slowly everyday, can't finish things i want to do before sleep. Wasting too much time.
I don't trust doctors in my country, but before i relocate, i need to finish my university (how the hell do i relocate ⍢⃝ )
I have done one session of therapy before, which was an online consultation. It helps... a lot. I don't have big fucked up moment since middle of July.
Who knows when will i be in hell again. | OCD |
I’m texting this girl and I have hocd and I like the girl but my mind keeps saying she’s a man | OCD |
I've been suffering from serious social anxiety my whole life and finally became completely burnt out in December of last year. Since then I've been trying to do all the right things -- taking medication, working out, going to therapy. But I keep getting stuck in the same cycle over and over:
Try to sleep well/work on myself --> Have a minor setback -->
Ruminate on my childhood and every mistake I've ever made --> Feel depressed and hopeless --> Fail to sleep and take care of myself for a couple of days --> Try to work on myself again
I just keep getting stuck in this never-ending cycle of despair over and over again, and I feel like it's my own fault that I don't get better because I can't break myself out of the cycle.
Anyone else go through this? How do you break free? | aspergers |
I am struggling right now at 12:23 AM with OCD and because I don't have support in my life, I am coming to this subreddit hoping that someone can tell me that everything is going to be okay and that I have not done anything wrong. | OCD |
Hi folks. I’ve recently started using Roam Research for my notes, and it feels like it’s going to be a really amazing tool for my ADHD brain. I’m wary of the perpetual but fleeting “new tool high” but I’m excited to learn more about it because I see a lot of possibilities. I am curious if other people use this tool and if you have any tips for maximizing it? | ADHD |
I was involuntary admitted and forced with antipsychotic injection.
I’ve had trouble focusing on tv shows, movies. I don’t understand jokes or laugh at them.
I can’t be emotionally invested in it.
Music isn’t the same.
Also, most of the day I’m not doing anything and sometimes I just wait and wait and wait doing nothing at all for time to pass.
I know these can be symptoms of my injection as well. | ptsd |
How do people not obsess and think over everything they’ve just done or do, like people just do things without 100 thoughts behind them, whatttttttttt?!? | OCD |
I just saw furry art accidentally,how do i get it off my mind | OCD |
Hey all!
I wanted to share an outlook that has completely changed my relationship with OCD throughout my life and has helped me immensely with age. First a little background:
I’m a 32m with what I would consider recovered OCD at this point. Not that I don’t still have intrusive thoughts or repetitive rumination, but at this stage I am no longer phased by them. I don’t take medications and I am no longer in need of therapy at this point in my life either (not that those aren’t immensely helpful for some!). I was diagnosed when I was 12 with what was coined back then as ‘Harm Thoughts OCD’, but over the years that has shifted to HOCD, POCD and ROCD. My symptoms manifested externally over the years into constant pacing, a compulsion to put all knives in non-visible places and ‘Checking’ (locks on doors and lights repeatedly for hours and hours during my worst episodes).
One of the biggest shifts for me in recent years is in the understanding that the mind that we have going on all day every day is basically like a television. The channels change and bounce around and change time to time for everyone. For people with OCD this change of the channel can be very detrimental because while our minds our jumping through the news, comedy, family, history, science, the office and general day to day thoughts suddenly we are hit with an extreme horror. One second we are staring at the flowers and then the next we have a scene from Saw 4 playing and we’re the villain. We then have the same reactions anyone would to those types of images. Fear, anxiety, panic, and dread. Many would just shrug off this disturbing channel and carry on about their day, But for OCD we don’t treat this shift like we treated everything else our mind had going, we keep it on that exact station causing our overactive amygdala to start looping around this station and…well…obsess. This causes us to become fixated on that new “station” or “show/movie” in our head and thus the cycle begins.
Because of our extreme reaction to it we start fearing the channel itself, which causes our mind to basically say “oh you mean this channel here?” And boom we are instantly pushed into the cycle. Then to add another layer we start fearing our fear of the fear of the channel, which again causes our brain to say “oh this one right.” And so on and so on and so on And…well you get the story I’m sure.
But, It’s just a television:
One of the biggest things I learned through CBT and meditation over my recent years is that the biggest trigger for this cycle isn’t the thoughts themselves, but our reaction to them that sets us on the path of obsession. By treating these thoughts, no matter how graphic or horrifying, with the same energy we treat thoughts about any other subject we can avoid activating our stress responses and falling into that dreaded cycle. In the beginning of this practice it requires you to mindfully accept everything your mind throws at you the same way you would if you were going about your day with the TV on in the background. If that TV changes the program and suddenly a gruesome horror film comes on you just acknowledge it and carry on your day. This may sound easier said then done for most, but with practice you’d be quite surprised at how quickly this can start to desensitize you to the fear and anxiety involved in these cycles. For some, much like myself, this will start with those feelings still circulating frequently, but if you take the time to sit inside those emotions and fears and not REACT you will soon find they will subside. This may start out as hours, but day by day the more you stand inside these sensations and emotions WITHOUT REACTING the less and less power they have over you!
As I mentioned I still have intrusions in my life, just the other day I was holding a golf club in my hand and talking to my dad in his garage while visiting and my channel suddenly changed to me hitting him in the head with the club, I just acknowledged the thought, shrugged it off and carried on with my day. I did not REACT to it and thus I did not trigger any response and was able to move on to whatever I was doing at the time.
Our minds our incredibly powerful and for people with OCD this can feel 10x worse than those around us. As if we had a jet engine in our heads, but our minds are also incredibly adaptive! Much like the idea of sky diving can cause extreme terror in jumpers initially, if you were to jump every day for years on end you would suddenly find that it didn’t have nearly the same affect on you as it did that first time. This is how fear works for everybody regardless of disorder. So I encourage those struggling with the cycles to trust that adaptive energy and quality in our brains and step inside of those fears and emotions. Avoid any and all reactions to them regardless of how extreme they may be and overtime you may begin to feel them subside! | OCD |
My husband has to buy the print edition of a certain major newspaper every day. He refuses to read the digital version. When planning a vacation we had to be near stores that carry the paper. He gets it every morning and is anxious if he can’t find it. For a while I was running around trying to find it on vacation. Is this OCD? He’s never been diagnosed. He may also have aspergers. I’m getting tired of the odd behaviors which seem to have worsened. He also refuses to deviate from a set route on trips. Thanks. | OCD |
Hii! I’m new to this subreddit because I’m doing some research.
I met someone on campus (uni) and she told me some stuff that sounded a lot like OCD. I’m not trying to ‘self-diagnose’ or something…
I’m just seeking some advice so I can support my friend in the best way possible with their possible OCD. She is very insecure about it and doesn’t know a lot about OCD herself.
Any tips for me? It would mean a lot!
Thanks a lot already <3 | OCD |
Based on the fact that you have ADHD and you have not disclosed it, how can you tell your manager "hey, I can't go to that department because my brain works better here, when I interact with people, have sense of ownership, do many different things, more high level tasks".
So that is something that is the bases for functioning at work, a need. It's not something that I want, but under those circumstances, that's how the brain works best.
When they don't understand the "need" how can you say it in a way that it doesn't sound like you are on a high horse? | ADHD |
I'm a 25 year old male with mild Aspergers, ADD, and horrible at Math. A girl I'm talking to doesn't have Aspergers but she has major Dyslexia which also affects her in school. We both have siblings that excell academically.
I personally would love having children. However, I have trouble seeing how bringing a child into this world with the high possibility of being disabled in multiple ways because of his/her parent's genetic disabilities is a 'good' thing.
Maybe you could help persuade me into seeing differently. I don't look down upon any of you, myself(for the most part), or the girl I'm talking with. | aspergers |
My girlfriend is considering enrolling her son in a Brain Balance Achievement Centers program. Does anyone have any experience with this organization?
I was intrigued when she shared the results of their preliminary evaluation of him with me but I'm reading some materials online that cast a little doubt.
I'd be grateful to hear about anyones' experiences - positive or negative. | aspergers |
I’m (F 29) and was diagnosed 2 years ago with ADHD inattentive and hyperactive.
My childhood defiantly has traumatic events (nothing serious or criminal) but there is trauma there that I’m aware of and have openly spoken about in therapy.
From the age of 6/7 I suffered really bad anxiety which wasn’t treated. I never told my parents I used to suffer inwardly. But I recall having sensory processing disorder and getting into anxiety attacks and being very nervy.
It seems like my brain has processed so many things as trauma, to the point I get flashbacks anytime I suffered anxiety or fear or uncomfortableness due to my ADHD and SPD. This can be as insignificant as getting anxious in a certain place.
I seem to remember the location, people I was with and a few minor details and that’s about it.
But because my memory is so bad, I cannot remember any of the good parts of my life. My brain only remembers the bad.
Does anyone else experience this? I can’t even resolve it in therapy because majority of these things aren’t even traumatic. Yet these flashbacks keep happening in dreams or during meditation. | ADHD |
i have a new theme and that’s thinking i am/ i am gonna become a alcoholic. i catch myself researching ocd and addiction and my father was a alcoholic. i know i have a addictive personality but it’s gotten to the point where i’m scared to have a night drinking with friends because i’m scared i’ll loose control or i’m doing it too often. does anyone else struggle with this? | OCD |
You remember my last post, it wasnt a joke
I actually like the puzzle piece as a symbol for autism. NOT the blue puzzle piece: that’s problematic because A. Autism Speaks and B. Blue = boys(actual reasoning behind it) and I’m an autistic girl. But any other color is good because the thing about puzzle pieces is they fit into other puzzle pieces. I think it represents either how autism fits into a person’s soul or how autistic people fit into society or maybe both. And sure, it’s just one piece, but the puzzle would be incomplete without it. Does any of that make sense?
One anonymous say this,
what do you think? A good or a bad idea? Maybe something to add?
After all, what is the use of a group thinking something if the individuals in it do not agree? | aspergers |
Hello, I (20F) just scheduled my first appointment with my clinic for a physical examination. I asked (on the phone) about how to get a mental health exam, and they told me I'd have to talk with my physical exam provider about it so that they may refer me to someone. Sorry if I'm not providing enough information, but the phone call was exactly like that, regarding my question. I'm confident I've been struggling with ADHD this entire time, and others believe so too. Is it a long process? Do I really just ask my provider for an exam? Please guide me through the process. | ADHD |
This is so horrible, I can’t get out of bed. I feel so nauseous with anxiety. I don’t see how I can possibly move, my stomach is in knots and my legs feel like jelly. I hate this so much, I don’t know how to cope with this. I was compulsively googling and found something that triggered me last night and it’s made me feel so horrible. | OCD |
You know how if you stare at the same spot for a long time, the edges of your vision start to fade because your brain filters out the redundant information? ADHD kind of feels like if that started in the center of your vision instead of the edges.
You constantly have to be resetting your attention or else whatever you are focusing on will begin to fade into the background. And fidgeting or doodling or shaking your leg helps to reset the fade. But sometimes whatever is going on at the edge of your thoughts or the literal edge of your vision pulls you away anyways. | ADHD |
I'm so goddamn tired. I'm tired of having to advocate for myself so hard and I'm tired of doctors who only hear 25% of what I say and fill in the rest and I'm tired of trying meds that don't work.
I have, so far, tried: generic Adderall IR, up to 15mg 1/day, then 20mg name brand Adderall ER, 18mg generic strattera, back to the generic Adderall IR, 10mg 2/day, and most recently, 27mg generic concerta.
Of these, generic strattera worked the best. It was honestly amazing, but the side effects were awful. I was getting so angry I was shaking at the drop of a hat, and was having a really intense and painful cycle of constipation and diarrhea.(A side effect my med manager told me wasn't real because no one she's ever treated has experienced it. I asked if maybe that meant I should try the name brand, figuring I was reacting to a non-active ingredient, and she laughed, then asked me if I have IBS. My digestive issues are well documented in my chart and she and I had talked about them at length in our previous appointment.)
Honestly, the strattera was almost worth all of that, because taking it, it was like I didn't have ADHD at all. And I was only on 18mg for a bit over 2 weeks. I was able to get through an entire to do list consistently, I was decisive, I didn't have to make the conscious decision to do every single little task, I could just do them. I would say it had to be placebo bc of how strattera works, but I didn't expect the medication to work *at all* and kinda didn't want it to tbh because it was 6x the cost of generic Adderall IR and just barely fit into my budget.
Generic Adderall IR kind of helps. It makes it easier for me to force myself to do things I absolutely have to, but that's where the benefit ends. The biggest reason I am trying to get my ADHD treated is that I have a lot of things I *want* to do that I can't as a result of executive dysfunction. Like start a photography business and finish the half a dozen novels I've started and clean my room and do the dishes. Basically, the IR gets me through work and that's it.
Name brand Adderall ER turned me into a genuine lunatic. I was a walking ADHD stereotype. Every symptom I deal with was worse and every symptom I usually don't made an appearance. Total paradoxical effect.
I started concerta today. As soon as it kicked in I was completely unable to do anything. I slept for almost 3 hours and woke up craving a ton of sugar. But I don't have the energy to even go to the store. The only reason I have gotten out of bed at all today is to use the bathroom.
On the one hand, this should make it easy to know what to try next. Clearly I need a nonstimulant. Really, in my opinion that should have been the next step when the strattera had such a major positive impact and the Adderall didn't, but my med manager didn't think so apparently.
My med manager is a fucking joke. I have an adhd diagnosis from a psychologist who has been really amazing, but can't prescribe. So I have a psychiatric nurse practitioner who clearly doesn't believe my diagnosis. She has diagnosed me with generalized anxiety and seems to think that's my only issue. To be clear, this woman isn't supposed to be diagnosing me with anything, she is a consultant working with my primary care to determine a good medication fix for a pre diagnosed condition. Also, I definitely don't have GAD. She seems to have based this diagnosis mostly on the fact that I answered "yes" when she asked me if I have a hard time concentrating. I did not know she was doing an anxiety screening, or I would have offered more context, like the fact that I have trouble concentrating bc I have ADHD. I have no other symptoms of GAD.
On top of that, when I told her about the reaction I had to name brand Adderall, she asked why I even want to try medication. I discovered after the fact that she wrote in my chart that I "have no problem sitting still and staying on task when unmedicated." Apparently she misunderstood and thought I only have ADHD symptoms when on name brand Adderall???? I think she thinks I'm just seeking, which I get that that's a problem, but she literally has the paperwork to talk to my therapist who did the diagnosis and hasn't reached out at all, even after making a big deal about getting it. So clearly she doesn't actually care to know whether I am.
I have an appointment in just under two weeks and I'm going to go through my chart with her and correct all the inaccuracies, (she also has in my chart that I'm primarily seeking treatment to handle pandemic related stress which.... no.) and then probably just tell her what I think we should try next. But I am so freaking tired of pretty much having to be my own doctor. Our last appointment made it clear that I am leaps and bounds better informed than her on ADHD and especially ADHD medication and I don't want to be. I don't want to have to dig into all this research on ADHD meds bc my doctor doesn't have a clue.
Tldr: I'm frustrated and tired of trying medications that don't work and not being listened to and having to be my own doctor, but my med manager lacks the education and experience to actually help me and doesn't even believe I have ADHD, despite a formal diagnosis. | ADHD |
Alright im just going to lay it out on the line….. i dont know what to do anymore i just wake up goto work bust my ass wishing i would get into an accident and just be done. Im a shit father and a crap husband but i cant bring myself to just finish it. I try to be there for them but its like i always have a mask on to hide whats truly going ok. I just dont know what to do anymore | depression |
Well, I think I won't be first or last one who creates playlist on spotify and want to share it with rest.Of course I made it during office hours, as all of you know:- meds started kicking;- thoughts on full speed;- let's make playlist!So just check it, tell me if there are any others songs I missed and should include.Also, yes, I a bit unconsciously I added to much tracks about depression (yup, right now I'm in quite bad place).And yes, this post was sponsored by methylphenidate.
EDIT: of course I forgot to link playlist:
[https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7po2mNEo9uLN4bHTgbpkWS?si=6959a87171194925](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7po2mNEo9uLN4bHTgbpkWS?si=6959a87171194925) | ADHD |
Hey guys, I need some insight on a problem I am having at work. I started a new job 4 months ago and I am really having trouble controlling my anger towards my supervisor. The guy has zero patience when trying to teach other people and is very rude when I ask questions about things I am trying to learn. On the other hand, I know I can be a quite sensitive person. Everytime he is slightly rude or has no consideration for the fact that I am just trying to learn, it boils my blood. I have been trying to get to the bottom of how to work this out but it seems OCD wants it’s peice now too. I am getting stuck in the debate that maybe this guy is just a dick or maybe I just need to stop being so sensitive. This is going on over and over in my head and I can’t figure out which one it really is. Maybe it’s both, but I can’t keep getting so angry and continue to hold it in. Can anybody help me ? | OCD |
I keep finding myself begging to god for a positive development in myself. This one is new.
It's not entitlement, it's not like I am not trying, i am just unsuccessful all the time. | depression |
I constantly feel like a total idiot and like I'm totally ridiculous and that my very existence and life is completely absurd. Like I'm an alien who doesn't behave quite human-like. I feel like the incompetent bumbling buffoon character in cartoons. It's crushing me and my confidence to constantly feel so inept and inadequate and stupid. Getting stuck in spirals where I think about how much I loathe feeling like a moron triggers my depression and anxiety severely. How do I go about trying to feel better about myself and less self-conscious? | ADHD |
This is what my psychiatrist told me last month, "just distract yourself whenever you have these thoughts". I can't blame him. Maybe he's just sick of me or he really believe that distraction is the only way for me to control my intrusive thoughts. I have been struggling with OCD intrusive thoughts, panic and anxiety for years. Seen multiple doctors, yet feel like I have never received a proper treatment. Everytime I visit a doctor, I was given some prescription for drugs. Most of them gave really bad side effects. Those that are tolerated by me are no longer in use in many countries. Throughout my journey of seeking a better treatment for mental health, I have never been suggested with CBT, ERP or anything (terms that I learned from Google). How come psychiatrist don't prescribe these therapies over medications. I live in a small city in India. Finding a good psychiatrist is a very difficult task. It took me a good few years to find a doctor who can understand me and never be judgmental like others. Even then I feel like I'm not getting a right treatment especially after this "distract yourself" statement. I have lost a countless number of opportunities due to OCD. I always feel like I have never lived myself to my full potential. As an introvert, I hardly share anything with anyone, including my family and friends. It is even surprising that I want this to be posted in reddit. Nobody talks about mental health issues in India. It is still a taboo subject here. I have never mentioned anything about my mental health issues to my friends or colleagues. I even fear that I may get unemployed if my employer or befriended if my friends know that I have OCD. My OCD is focused on bodily processes like breathing, blinking, pain etc. I also have harm OCD. It is always episodic with changing theme. I also have panic attacks during OCD episodes. It crippled me to the extent that I still don't want to quit my extremely stressful, less paying job just because it is close to my home. I feel so anxious to leave my city or family to get a good job. This made me financially weak. I'm still taking my ocd meds. It gives a little relief and get me moving. Recently, I have heard about a mobile app for CBT and ERP. I am planning to give it a try. Also, I am planning to start a small business to support myself. Wish me luck guys. | OCD |
My psych just switched my mood stabiliser, so I’ve been tapering off and dealing with unproductive mania and anxiety. I was worried about finishing my partner’s peer review for our Research in Humanities class, especially since I’ve been struggling with untreated ADHD. I was diagnosed, but my psych can’t prescribe ADHD medication (or any controlled substance, for that matter), but a friend recently gave me some of her Adderall XR. I took it today, and I couldn’t believe the difference it made. After a week of insomnia and mania, I managed to channel my energy to sit down and get to work.
I really need to find a local psychiatrist that can get me back on Adderall. Ever since I moved to Florida (3 years ago), I haven’t been able to afford one.
I’ll celebrate small victories like this one in the meantime, and hope I can survive finals.
Share your tips for powering through. | ADHD |
Today I have managed to go 2 years without injuring myself, I am very happy, it is the first time that I haven't done it for so long, I hope that everyone who is in this subreddit can get out of this well little by little. Sometimes I feel like I want to do it again but for now I have managed to hold on. I wanted to share my achievement with someone <3 | depression |
I don't normally post anything but I have recently came across an anime that quickly became my number 1 anime ever seen (Mob Psycho 100). I am sure that many of us with ADHD fight with our emotions frequently, but this show holds so many emotional moments it is honestly like breathing out this lead air I have been holding in weighing me down. It is not the easiest to be kind to one's self so I hope each and everyone of you feel self love one way or another cause being different is so much more fun and interesting. #WHATISNORMAL 🤪 (Sorry had to put "what is normal" lol it was my catch phrase growing up for always being told to "be normal" whatever that means lol) | ADHD |
I'm here looking for support and/or advice.
I've been struggling with PTSD since I was 4 years old. I am now 36, so that's 32 years and the majority of my life. I only have a handfull of memories when I felt "normal". So, it's been hard to relate to others, or even explain to others how I feel on a day-to-day basis and why I do what I do. I have so many triggers. I can't go a single day without getting triggered. It affects my relationships, family, work, and most things in my life.
Is there anyone here that has struggled with PTSD this long or since such a young age? How do you cope everyday? What therapies have you used?
I've been in therapy, on and off since about age 14. For months now I've been going every single week. I've been hospitalized 3 times in my life. I've never been suicidal, but I've often needed help regulating my meds. I've tried just about all the meds out there at least once and different combos. I've tried Instinctual Trauma Response (ITR) therapy (which has by far, been the most helpful), CBT, CPT, DBT, and I attempted EMDR, but I had trouble building my "safe place" in order to even begin. I practice as many coping skills as possible like grounding, distraction, and mindfulness. Still, there are many times that I have to just medicate to stop from what I call going to the "void", or the place in my head where everything is black and I start disassociating.
PTSD affects literally everything that I do. I know that I will have to manage PTSD my entire life. It will never completely go away. But, I am trying to improve my quality of life, hence why I'm writing this post.
Any advice, suggestions, or support is greatly appreciated. Thanks! | ptsd |
Recently I’ve been really struggling with walking anywhere as I get compulsions to step on the pavement slabs and general garbage. I usually find myself stopping every 30 seconds to stand on stuff 25+ times, meaning 15 minute walks can take an hour or so- But I’m walking now and I’ve only stopped like 5 times and I’m super proud of myself! I had to do a lot of compulsions before I left the house to build up to it but still it’s a start. | OCD |
I've always had a fear of losing intelligence I read somewhere that some people lose braincells and it scared me a few days later I had intrusive thoughts like if I do this certain thing then this will happen to me, sometimes I get tension in my head like a headache or something and it scares me whats going on? | OCD |
Does anyone have advice on how I can work with my ADHD and not against it. I can never really decide as to when I want to "find motivation" and it's annoying when I just randomly hyper fixate. Also I take adderall xr and sometimes I feel like that drug makes everything worse and I was wondering if anyone felt the same way.
**THANKS** | ADHD |
i am i’m a horrible living situation and about 7k in debt on a credit card. i can’t foresee getting out of said situation unless a few things work in my favor. i recently had a fall through and let myself get excited, which felt like a mistake.
it’s also the holidays. and i live across the country from my boyfriend and my family. although i distanced myself from family on purpose due to getting away from my childhood r*pist. up until last year, even if my ex and i weren’t together, i still lived with him and his kid so it always felt like the holidays. but i’m really struggling being alone and not having presents to unwrap with this huge debt over my head.
not to mention with my living situation, i pay 99% of the bills for 2 people twice my age. otherwise we would all be homeless.
i’m just at a loss. i’m tired. i am sad. i just want to have a better quality life, but everything seems so far out of reach. | depression |
I hate adhd, I just want to be normal. I want to be like other teenagers my age. I want to go to college. I want to get a job. Adhd is ruining my life. Depression and anxiety is ruining my life. I just want to have fun and be interested in things. I want to stop being angry all the time. I hate adhd. | ADHD |
On some tablets now. Metazapine, and proponalol. Feel numb but that dark cloud is here. Its everywhere and I can see it. I'm numb but feeling the wind from it... Yep... I'm just here. | depression |
You must never give up! You must go trough this, you must beat this shit!
You have a genetical predisposition for OCD which has manifested in obsessions about something you truly care about. The core purpose of OCD is for you to beat it, to show yourself that you are stronger than it. To show yourself that you are the true master of your brain. When you beat the OCD using medication, and far more importantly, the ERP therapy, you will be so proud of yourself, you will remember this achievement to the rest of your life. You will be more confident and stronger. Trough this experience, you will learn techniques of mastering your tought patterns and that could help you in a thousand ways in your everyday life!
Rmemeber, this is not a curse, this is a test. You must pass it using ERP. Never give up! Never go back to compulsions, wether they be physical or mental.
You must remember that you will be happy and free again, and that you will be mentally stronger than before! I would say "good luck", but you dont need luck, you need good will and disciplineand you need to find it in yourselves, i know you can. If you are able to fuck yourself up like this, then you are definetly able to get yourself back from it!
Love you guys!
Peace! | OCD |
So, I am a 23 year old male who in October got a job as a waiter at a bar close by. For the most part I was doing a very good job beside not having any experience, even willing to face the music to lots of busy tables, and even my coworker said to me the good job I was doing.
Even after having a rough year, after me and my family faced Covid, my mom trying to kill herself, both my parents getting their legs injured one after the other, and even having a fistfight with my dad, with my mom living for 5 months with my dementia sick grandma driving her insane, at least with the job I still have it got me a better perspective to my life and even my future.
I was heavily bullied during secondary school, I wanted a girl who could love me and my self-steem is laying down the gutter.
Now last week I was at work with my boss, when my dad came in and asked him if I could go out for a moment.
Next thing I see is my mother in the car with visible damages on her face. She drank a lot of alcohol at home and she fell off more than once, hitting herself with furniture. So my dad had to send her to a rehibilitation clinic, only being able to see or talk to her during weekends.
Now at my job, I'm doing terrible, sloppy and making lots of mistakes, being scolded by my co-worker. Hell, I'm writing this while crying my eyes out at the bathroom at work. I fear it's a matter of time until I get fired and my life ends in total and absolute emptiness.
Thank you for your time reading this, I really needed to get this off my chest. | depression |
As the title says, I want to reframe my morning and evening routine and have a loose cleaning schedule for my home.
I actually like consistency but I struggle with adding things that only benefit me (meditating, journaling, upkeep with my house) and aren’t contingent on someone/something else.
For example, I work 7-4 and it only takes me 30 minutes to get ready. I’d like to incorporate 30 minutes of self care/actual daily prep instead of just getting my body ready for what I have to do for the day.
TIA! | ADHD |
I am so tired of how difficult is everyday life for me. I do not see how I could possibly function in a late-capitalist society without constant stress. Just in the last 24 hours, the following happened:
I have a huge problem with exercising but a doctor told me on Friday that some of my health issues had to do with my lifestyle and that I should exercise. So I and boyfriend decided to sign up for a gym. Not that I like the gym particularly but it's easy and also the only option to exercise that I can afford at the moment ( I know going to the park and running is free but let's not go that path). So yeah we went there and they asked me for my bank account number to charge my monthly form there directly ( that is how things work in my country, not with CC but bank account number) I could not give him that since I blocked both the bank app and the Gmail accidentally when I was blocking other apps not to get distracted. The screen passcode is written down in my agenda that I forgot at home. So yeah I signed up with my bf's bank account number. But I could not download the gym app with exercise plans. At this point, I had tears in my eyes. I only wanted to fucking exercise.... why does it need to be so complicated. So ok I decided I will just improvise for today no big deal. I started doing cardio and recalled that I left my water bottle on the kitchen table at home...
So yeah this was Sunday if you add just the normal everyday dysfunction on the top of that.
Today is Monday morning and I have stuff on my list to cross out. There are phone calls I have been postponing for days since my phone doesn't really work. So I took my other phone and decided I will use it to call. Then I realized that the piece of paper where the pin code was written down just evaporated. I do not recall moving it anywhere it should just sit where it was. So I looked everywhere and I have no clue anymore where else could it be. When I was looking I randomly found a 20 euro banknote LOL. But I lost so much time on this... And yes I will just switch sim cards and call. But I lost like an hour just looking for this stupid card.
I know it sounds like nothing but I cannot continue anymore. Everything I do is a fucking disaster. I am too stupid to make a phone call or remember about taking water to the gym. I feel that this is too tiring for me to continue. I kind of don't want to live anymore. It is too much stress. I am serious I would hope not to wake up tomorrow not to have to go through this again. | ADHD |
Has anyone had success using frequency specific micro current (FSM) to treat their PTSD? | ptsd |
Its been about 5-6 days of taking it, so long enough for it to kick in to a degree, and I'm noticing my dpdr slowly lessening, my light sensitivity toning down a little and im not as hypervigilant. Like i still have sound sensitivity in public but im able to notice it in the sense of "oh well thats there" rather then "omg im unsafe this is so awful i need to leave" which is great. My emotions are more stable, and im not dropping into those mink depressive episodes as often. Instead its getting close and then my mood comes right back up. Probably one of the most promising things is that instead of ruminating on past traumas trying to figure them out and get hung up on them rn, i feel im actually able to just let it go and let things flow. I anticipate great things ahead | ptsd |
I've been measuring my overall mental health (discounting highs and lows) with little things. Maybe these things will help someone else.
Today I:
Spent 4 hours doing chores with my mother and feel like I still have energy
Looked in the mirror and didn't hate what I saw
Woke up from a great dream and shared my happiness with others
Made a plan to bring down my debts and budget better
Forgave myself for accidentally forgetting my dog outside (it was a cool clear day in a fenced in huge yard, she was fine and happy)
Listened to music that made me happy
Got out of bed, had breakfast and got dressed (who acres how late it was lol)
If you did none of this today, that's fine. You will someday, and every step you take out of the dark is an important one.
Happy 10th anniversary of being diagnosed :) | depression |
Asking for a jobless friend.
He just turned 40 and spent most of his life playing music and writing the occasional thing. He's had lots of customer service jobs but never made much of an impact anywhere other than being a muso in Asia. Now he's back in the North America, just got diagnosed with ADHD, and is still not doing great with getting new work.
(Ok fine... The friend is me) | ADHD |
I can't figure if this is something that happens with everyone or if it's an ADHD thing, but my sense of time is so warped. I was thinking about something that happened a week ago and- wait, that was two days ago?! - and sometimes I think it's a different day that it is.. Several times a day.
Actually, I think it comes up in other contexts too. Like I'd just have such a strong assertion in my mind that this is how x thing is, yeah I've already done y thing. And despite me forgetting assignments and appointments and whatnot because of this my brain seems to be so adamant about these things until I check the facts. Anyone else? | ADHD |
a lot of people here say "do nothing about your ocd", "embrace anxiety"; but "doing nothing", "embracing the anxiety" are also doing something; if you're directing your focus towards "doing nothing", or "resisting the anxiety", that's because by doing so, you expect to get the right feeling before you can get on with your life, and that's what has been keeping you stuck; you are not supposed to feel "just right" before you can move on;
YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL "JUST RIGHT" BEFORE YOU CAN MOVE ON
you have to be on a state of mind that you're conscious about your ocd; you aknowledge your ocd patterns, you're aware of your feelings, but you get on with your life anyway; for you know that rumination leads no where; trying to get the right feeling actually perpetuates the cycle; and this is the hard truth behind it: you will never get the "just right" feeling | OCD |
I have a long way with OCD, at least 17 years together. I am not sure if this is intrusive thoughts, but a specialist told me that some years ago.... I have been living nice moments during my life.. i see my child and see the happiest person in the world and it hurts that I can share with her because my being feels everything hurts. During the last month I started to live the hardest part of my life, it started as intrusive thoughts but I also noticed something else was behind, this despair and desires to cry. I have been in a stressful job and my sleep quality decreased considerably. I got a new job offer but my mental health is delicate and I still need to stay in this position for a couple of days.... yesterday I went to the urgent care, and they provided me trazodone to sleep better, and today i feel weird.... guys please, identify when something is affecting you, before this break down. I started to see simples changes, i was eating quickly, sometimes in 4 minutes my dish disappeared... I am not sure what should be my path now, i have an appointment.with therapist on 8/31/2021 and I am scared he can' say something that trigger me.... I really hope that this pain and despair can produce in some of you peace and love. | OCD |
I‘ll start taking my adhd medication next year (Ritalin) and i head that it makes you loose weight by boosting your metabolism and making you less hungry by suppressing your Appetite.
I‘m curious because i already have a pretty fast metabolism and my parents are kinda scared that i‘ll loose too much weight. | ADHD |
I just couldn’t go, this whole year I’ve been spiralling I think about killings myself daily and I do not see a future for myself beyond this year and but pretending everything is ok for my parents.
I don’t think I’m stupid, i never study for the oral instead procrastinating watching movies and sleeping and eating, yet I actually do find the work very interesting.
I couldn’t even bring myself to go and get a failing mark because I’m a coward and couldn’t sit in front of the lecturer babbling all the vague knowledge I do know
I think this is the culmination of me slowly giving up. I’m scared of this feeling. I need help but I’m too much of a coward to confess to my parents. I don’t know what they will say or do when they find out, they won’t know I skipped the test completely because I still have an exam worth the other 50% so it will just look like I did terribly and was a bad student.
I’ve never done anything so drastic before, I need help, I still have another exam and to finish writing my thesis, I’m going to fail my thesis anyways though- I’ve neglected it this whole year and need to write it within 10 days while preparing for my other exam.
I’m not sure why I’m making this post, i think because I feel so alone, I don’t really have anyone to confide in.
If you are reading please no hate, I already hate myself enough. Lie to me and tell me everything will be ok please. | depression |
I wanna say first off that I know there’s a lot of stigma surrounding this kinda thing, and I’m not trying to contribute to that, my family just has a history of addiction and I’m a worrier. I started taking Focalin last month for the first time since I was 12 years old (21 now), and it’s been great! I’ve had more energy and distractions and impulses have been much easier to manage. I know that medication like this can be addictive, has anyone had experience? What’s the risk? I just don’t wanna be worried for nothing but also wanna be aware of the possibility | ADHD |
hello everyone, so i have a question, my mind wants me to think of some body part of mine (belly) and wants me to think perfectly about it, but when I try to think of it I can’t think exactly like I want or the mind wants.
I get the thoughts over and over and im tired. what should I do? | OCD |
At work one of my co workers told me that a long stay guest (I (32 male) work at a hotel) asked “If the gay guy working today? I am the only man who works at the hotel so it was obvious she was referring to me. My co worker kindly informed her that I am not gay. The guest apologized and was embarrassed and said “Oh I’m sorry he’s just so nice!” We had a good laugh about it but it made me wonder why because I have mistaken for gay a couple times.
I think there might be a few reasons stemming from my aspergers so I was curious if this has happened to others. | aspergers |
so this is something that I have just felt so often happens.
When the semester starts, my cognitive functioning, focus, interest, etc. is all amazing
But towards the second half of the semester, my focus and cognitive abilities completely dissipate. I become worse at doing tasks ad just learning things.
And I really can't figure out why this happens.
It's possible that I just get drained out? I also don't do anything for Fall break since I'm trying to catch up on my classes and all.
During the semester my diet, physical activities, etc. isn't that amazing. As I'm managing it all on my own.
I'm also super stressed out so maybe that just degrades my learning over time.
​
Has anyone noticed a similar pattern with their cognitive abilities during a semester? Would be grateful for any suggestions/advice. | ADHD |
Does anyone here struggle with food and regular eating?
I love food, it was a big part of my childhood and it’s something that’s important to me. I love to cook and I’ve done some chef training when I was younger. So naturally it’s something I can get hyper fixated on.
As a result of this I regularly fall in and out of love with food at least day to day, but sometimes I can keep interest for a number of weeks. The problem is once I’m in the kitchen a meal I think will take half an hour ends up taking two.
At the moment it’s just killing me I have a high level construction job (which I love) and am travelling a lot. Every night dinner is a battle I’ve been eating microwave meals which is fine I guess but now I can’t even get up the appetite to eat. It makes me sick to think about. It’s like I’m hungry but I’m so tired mentally I just can’t eat. It’s only dinner too, I can eat during the day ok.
I want to do these things and I know that my usual routine benefits me but I don’t know how to overcome the disinterest. I legit get home at the moment and just sit/walk around until an hour before bed where I force myself to do the shit I have to and the whole time my mind is just a million miles an hour until I pass out 😭
I don’t know what I’m asking really, maybe some tips/support not sure | ADHD |
Anyone here love public transport like trainspotting and busspotting? | aspergers |
I’ve recently upped my dose of Vyvanse to 70ml and have noticed an iron smell coming from my skin.
Sounds strange I know, but it smells like fake tan. I never had this is on the lower dose.
My partner noticed it as well. I shower everyday (thanks to the drugs haha) and it’s just a smell that I cannot get rid of.
Anybody experienced this? | ADHD |
during a day when someone open up to say they really struggle with it good example even rn on this group, please dont get it wrong. I want so much to believe but idk how to because for my brain word mean nothing, brain find excuses that everyone must fake it, help anyone? | OCD |
Ok so I've been having sexual intrusive thoughts of all kinds and harm thoughts that differ between myself, people I love, and strangers, to even random animals, these thoughts honestly make me debate about killing myself because I've asked for help so many times and nothings happening, my doctor hasn't done anything but a swab to see what medicines work best for me, but no therapist or psychiatrist of any sorts, my brain tells me if i don't kill myself or masturbate or don't get put in a ward or prison then something bad is gonna happen, I don't want reassurance but it's so f*ing hard not to seek it, I would rather kill myself than become the monster my thoughts are portraying me as, I feel trapped and need help so bad, it feels like my brain is melting and fogging up, I say I need all these things to happen but at the same time I'm afraid of dying, and going to jail or a Ward. | OCD |
I am a 61 year old female who had open heart surgery to replace a aortic valve. I spent two years stressing about it up until it happened. I got through it with some minor complications, spent 10 days in the hospital. The staff at the hospital let me down because they were unaware that I have central sensitization. It wasn't a supportive environment. Many of my nurses were verbally abusive. I am recovering at home now and have time now to process my surgery. I have flashbacks about certain events while I was in the hospital that are affecting me now. Any suggestions about how to overcome this trauma. | ptsd |
My obsession with rabies probably started when I was 12 or 13, and I’m 23 now. To be clear, this is the obsession that had once upon a time completely wreaked havoc on my life. This is the obsession that broke me at my core. This is the obsession that sent me in one of my worst spirals and which resulted in me going to therapy for the first time ever at the age of 16. This is the obsession that threatened to destroy my sanity.
However, for at least the past year or two, I’ve done sooo much better with this obsession. I’ve done so well managing it that it was no longer my top obsession anymore. Though it never really went away, it faded into the background with the rest of the incessant yet tolerable mental noise in my brain. It no longer consumed me like it once had…until now, of course.
Now I find myself fighting the same thoughts once again. My feared “incident” with a wild animal happened about a week and a half ago. On the day it “happened”, I wasn’t even majorly worried. I didn’t even check my body over after the incident to make sure there weren’t any bite or scratch marks. Somehow on that day I didn’t even think twice about the situation that had transpired. Rather, I was able to move on with relative ease and wasn’t plagued with any sort of lingering doubt.
But now it’s a week and a half later, and I’m more doubtful than ever, freaking out and cursing silently at myself for not even knowing if I had gotten any marks on my leg from the day it “happened”. My memory of the event also feels increasingly muddled and suddenly I am unsure of how accurate my recollection of the details is. Was the animal a medium sized shadow or a small one? Did I notice a long tail or not? Was it ten feet behind me or five feet behind me when I turned around to look at it? I can’t remember anymore.
Then comes the inevitable and paralyzing panic, settling into every crevice of my body and burdening me with its crushing weight, as if I may as well be filled entirely with liquid cement. Thoughts come flooding in, chastising and shouting statements at me like, “you better go get the shots before it’s too late” or “you’re going to die and go crazy and wow, how painful that is going to be” or “don’t you care about yourself and want to live? If you don’t go to get the shots then you are truly stupid and foolishly neglecting yourself”.
I just don’t know what to do. All day today I have been riddled with anxiety and doubt and uncertainty as to what really transpired on that day. I can’t stop beating myself up mentally for not having even looked at the “afflicted” leg the day that it happened! I mean, who the hell forgets to look at a body part that they fear could have marks on it from a wild animal?? It doesn’t help my anxiety either that now so much time has passed and so figuring out the “truth” of this situation feels all the more urgent and pressing. It feels like the stake of my entire life currently rests in the palm of my hands and I am worried that by not seeking the shots, I am risking self-sabotage and self-negligence…basically like I have “decided” to commit suicide, more or less, via self-negligence. That’s what my brain is trying to persuade me with, at least.
Worrying over rabies feels like such a losing game, because I either have to undergo shots I probably don’t even need or otherwise have to sit with this unbearable anxiety that will only worsen as more and more time passes and I inch closer and closer to my “doomsday”, aka the window of time where I might expect the rabies symptoms to finally and irreversibly manifest. I can feel myself slowly slipping and succumbing to the panic of this fear and I just feel so hopelessly terrified and also disappointed to find myself in this unbearable and merciless relapse. | OCD |
Hello everybody! I've decided to become more independent and am looking forward to embracing the growing pains which I know I will inevitably face. I am 24 and moving out with my fiancé for the first time. Does anyone have any valuable tips that have helped them in terms of maintaining their sense of independence? I have mild autism but I still struggle with social interactions and daily executive functioning skills. My fiancé is very supportive and helpful. I'm just wondering what has helped those who have left the nest. Thank you! P. S. I hope everything is going well for all of you who read this. ❤️😊 | aspergers |
I am 17 years old and I’m pretty sure I have many mental issues. I was recently diagnosed with an anxiety/depression disorder as well as ADHD this late in my life, and I have tendencies that make me believe there’s more. My doctor prescribed me Wellbutrin XL 150mg for my anxiety and ADHD and I have been taking that for the past 2.5-3 weeks. This year is my last year of high school and my whole life I’ve been praised for my academic ability (I was always talkative and distracting in class so it makes sense to me that I have ADHD, but I managed up until this point) and I have always pushed myself as a result, this year I think I pushed myself too far and I have dug myself a hole so deep that I have just given up with everything. On top of that I suffer from a chronic stomach pain issue that results in me doing absolutely nothing for 3-4 days when it arises (which can happen every other week or every couple months, totally random) and this gets me down, I have seen specialists for the last 3 years but they can’t figure it out. This year I chose to take 3 AP courses as well as 3 other academic intensive courses. Slowly but surely for the past couple months I have been getting more and more homework building up, overdue essays and assignments, and falling behind on my studying. I have been a procrastinator my whole life but I have always been able to complete assignments a day before they were due and get high 90s somehow, leading to me continuing to repeat that action due to the reinforced positive outcome every time, but this year that doesn’t work. I keep getting disappointed with myself and my grades and then that results in me losing motivation and so much stress building up and the cycle repeats itself worsening every time. I smoke weed (I decided I am going to stop since I didn’t realize it was not good to smoke weed and take Wellbutrin, and it’s also bad for my anxiety I suspect) and I tend to vape since my friends all vape (which I’m also stopping because, it’s vaping…). I started both of those the start to middle of last year and I think stuff has been going down since then. I have no motivation to even attempt at trying to catch up on homework, I’m worrying about money, I’m worrying about relationships, I’m worrying whether or not my intellectual capacity has been hindered by my consumption of those drugs and whether or not that has ruined my capacity to do fucking anything. My attention span is worse than it’s ever been and I sit at my desk for hours and complete only a small amount of work. I don’t get enough sleep, I feel like I have no one to talk to and no TRUE friends just a ton of people I hang around with, and the ones that I am closest with I don’t open up to. I have consistently had periods of sadness over girls or being lonely or some shit for years but they were never as bad before the middle of last year, Grade 11, and I would always come out a stronger person but i don’t get that feeling this time, this time it’s different, it’s not about girls or friends it’s about life. I wanted to go to a school in the states my whole life but my last years grades probably won’t get me in, never mind this years, i regret so much and I wish I tried harder I wish I never started smoking and I wish I never started vaping, I feel as if I’ve ruined my life, I feel like my dreams I had as a kid won’t come true. I’m just lost. I know I have to do homework and other responsibilities but I simply just get anxious about them when I think about it and end up not doing anything. I’m afraid I’ll regret my university course selection and I’m afraid I won’t do good either, i’m afraid i won’t be successful in life or my dad will be disappointed (he’s never been one to show too much praise and is very successful so I have big shoes to fill, he also has ADHD but has never done anything about it and has gotten this far in life so i wonder if i’m just chicken shit, and wonder if he thinks that too). I don’t know why but recently I have felt uncomfortable around my friends, worried about what they’ll think about what I said, worried if they really like me, worried that they think I’m weird (I used to be extremely socially awkward when I was younger, but that went away awhile ago). I stress about what I should say and if it’s the right thing to say. I’m just so confused with everything. During lessons I struggle to understand and since I don’t sleep a lot I am dozing off for the whole lesson and end up not understanding when I go and try to do homework later since I was practically in and out of consciousness. Despite that I don’t try and go in and get help, I just struggle, I feel as if I’m trying to get someone to reach out to me without asking for help. I had a mental breakdown today because I couldn’t stop thinking about the stress of everything and the homework I didn’t get done for tomorrow. I don’t do anything I like anymore, I don’t play games often or watch youtube I just sit there on my phone, I feel like I’m just empty I’ve lost who I am. I’m not the same person I was before I went to high school, the young ambitious boy who was eager about learning, eager to see what he would become when he graduated. Well, I’m sure he’d be disappointed. Every waking moment of my life I am filled with stress and anxiety. I just don’t even know where to start or what to do, I guess we’ll see what quitting vaping and smoking does, since I decided I’ll try quitting that for 3 weeks today since I was stressing about it, and from now on treat it like alcohol, limit it to occasions. To put this whole thing simply, I am so utterly overwhelmed with everything and I feel as if I dug a hole so deep, and that any attempts at getting out are futile because it just keeps getting deeper. I just want to be heard I guess not sure what i’m expecting out of this, I don’t usually use reddit but I’m gonna give it a try since someone has gotta be able to give me some decent advice. I hope that all made sense to whoever is reading, and thank you as well for taking the time to read this, it comforts me to think at least someone is listening. | depression |
What's the difference between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
What are the differences and similarities?
Is it possible to have both? If someone has both, how is their behaviour? | OCD |
-diagnosed only 2 months ago but struggling for a long time + have chronic intractable migraine
-just completed accelerated one year BA/MA program, with no treatment or medication, which SUCKED and resulted in many Fs, extensions & self-doubt, & all kinds of awful criticism from my parents about being lazy and stupid and uncaring
-started the BA/MA program as a Sophmore in college by my Senior year was already sure it was not what I wanted to do, but was forced into continuing while symptoms went ignored because I was struggling w/ school too much to coordinate doctors appointments w/o someone else’s help. Parents denied there was anything wrong.
-Finally when the school year ended I was able to get a diagnosis and begin treatment, which I haven’t told my parents about yet because I know they won’t react well, but I want their support.
-To make matters worse: I have now missed the deadline to apply for graduation for the second semester in a row. All of my work is done but my school is requiring a matriculation fee of $1k and a later fall graduation because of the mess up.
Q: How to bring all this up?
Paying that amount will empty my savings almost entirely but I cannot toss my diploma after all this work.
What can I do??
Are there fee waivers for registration and matriculation under ADA?
How can I talk to my parents about this? | ADHD |
I only started thinking like this cause my friend started posting on here and I would see the posts of people and think I related to them but In reality I don't relate. I just ahave factitious disorder that needs tobe treated proberly | OCD |
When you fall asleep, you don’t have to be reminded of all the pain, responsibilities and
sadness. Things are so tough that I want everything to just stop. It’s just the same question over and over… and over… and over… again. Just why am I doing this? What am I doing? I know that I’m not the only one that feels this way, but now I’m asking myself… why me? I’m not living life… I’m surviving, because I feel suffocated. | depression |
Hey I just need to vent. I recently started college and its been rough. the hardest part for me has been the shared laundry room situation. Today I decided to wash some of my clothes. I put them in the dryer which typically takes 20+ minutes more than the time displayed. I set a timer for the dryer and went to go do homework. I came back to the laundry room to find my clean clothes sitting on the table. I am actually in tears. I just spent 2+ hours doing laundry and having to deal with several time consuming OCD behaviors only for someone to be a dick and make it so that I have to completely redo my laundry. I have always been courteous and respectful of other peoples laundry and have always informed people when their laundry is done or how much time until its done. I am so upset and tired, I know that I cant expect others to understand my OCD especially when I haven’t told anyone about it, but I at least feel like I deserve the same respect from others that I have shown regarding peoples laundry. | OCD |
I find it so interesting to look at the world in a new way now that I got diagnosed with aspergers. Its like did I always recognize I hear every little thing, that I have to practice before some social interactions and that small talk seems dumb to me. All of it is just making more sense | aspergers |
Tonight I plan on going to bed early with ear plugs and hiding under the blanket hoping I don't hear anything. Not looking forward to it. :(
I hope everyone gets through the night and has a good year! <3 | ptsd |
What do you suggest I should say/do? A little scared.... | aspergers |
What camp / foldable chairs for you like? I need one to keep in my car for playgrounds etc. I take my knitting with me. Something light weight and comfy for non neurotypicals? | aspergers |
My biggest struggle is punctuality and keeping track of time for things that matter.
I found that setting alarms for things that require punctuality, and setting them MUCH earlier than I instinctively feel urgency (aka last minute...) does wonders for my timeliness!
What are the little things that you do to help work around/with your ADHD? | ADHD |
Today one of my gel nails fell off so naturally I took them all off and told myself I'm going to get another set tomorrow. They had grown out nicely in the 3.5 weeks I had them on but... Only an hour after I took them off I mangled them, they looked so nice and healthy and I had to go ruin them, I couldn't even make do leaving them alone for the night...
Does anyone have any tips or tricks or anything to make me stop biting???? I've tried the "nasty" stuff that you can paint on your nails however brain goes brrrr and likes the taste (FML) I'm still getting the new set tomorrow but goddamn I'm so tired of mangling them all while internally SCREAMING at myself to stop. I'm trying to not pull my hair out or scream because I'm so frustrated that I keep doing this. Anything ya'll got??? I'm so lost... | ADHD |
People talk about this a lot in the mental health community. It’s almost always framed as a choice that people make to isolate themselves from their friends, Which I’m sure is an issue that people face, especially NTs with mental health problems.
But they almost never talk about isolation that is forced onto us. I am socially isolated. I would love to have a good, relatable, non-toxic group of friends to go out to the bar with. Who am I kidding, I’d love to have one good, relatable, non toxic friend to go to the bar with, but I don’t. The supply of friends is just not there. OK, I had one friend for a while, then he was doing some sketchy shit (to put it lightly) and I decided to leave, but I think I made a reasonable choice there.
Why is this never talked about? Is it that rare to experience? Where is this huge and less supply of friends that NTs seem to have? The supply is so big that it must be a choice to isolate. To me, being told to stop isolating yourself feels like being told to just stop being poor. Social isolation is, in some ways, similar to poverty. It’s hard to get out of if you don’t have the right skills, it limits your opportunity to make friends as you don’t know anyone to introduce you to their friends, etc.
95% of what I see is about people choosing to isolate themselves, it’s rare that someone acknowledges that it’s not always a choice. I do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and it provides a social outlet, but it’s not really an environment to make friends. Is it some intricate social code thing that we don’t pick up on? | aspergers |
I’m an art student. Usually I’m bustling with ideas, to the point where I’m overwhelmed by them.
When it comes to assignments specifically, most prompts spark one or more ideas with minutes to days of hearing it. It’s usually not hard to think of something.
However, every now and then, there are just some things assigned where I cannot think of an idea *at all.* Even after looking at examples and searching for inspiration. Nothing “sparks” and I feel stressed by either a lack of interest or inability to get started to not being able to find what I want to do, and I feel a kind of creative “shutdown.”
After presenting a very rushed and uninspired “finished” piece for the sake of meeting a deadline, I tried to explain to a teacher about how I sometimes struggle with idea production- which of course was passed off as an excuse for laziness, bad time management, or just not wanting to work on a project I wasn’t interested in. In their words, “never say you don’t have ideas- you’re an art student, you’re here BECAUSE you have ideas.”
I have such a hard time explaining it. I feel like I just make myself out to be a foolish slacker trying to explain it. I don’t know if it’s part of executive dysfunction that I couldn’t come up with an idea or if it really *is* an excuse. Is it? If so, can someone be honest and tell me? | ADHD |
I’m currently freaking out a little and I’m scared that my mental health won’t get fixed and I’ll die alone because no one wants to be around me. I’ve been disassociating a lot and thinking why I can’t be loved or why I’m always pushing people away. It scares me so much because I made so much progress before and I stopped hyperfocusing on being healthy and now I don’t want to try because what’s the point if I’m always falling down the same hole. I want to keep working on myself but I genuinely feel unloved and and alone and why do it for myself if I’m just going to be alone. Idk why I’m ranting to y’all but thank you for reading. | ADHD |
This is something I’ve been experiencing this past week and it’s really been scaring me. | OCD |
I’m sorry if this is triggering to other people but I need to share what happened to me.
This was in October 2019 at my college. I went to a party, and a guy from one of my classes was hosting it at his house. I thought he was cute and nice. Even though I was at the party, I was sober the whole night, maybe had one or two drinks total. Anyways, we went to the bars together and then I wanted to leave (yes I initiated it) so I asked him to go home and he brought me back to his house.
We had sex consensually, he asked before if it was okay, and I said yes. It was nice, not incredible, but enjoyable enough. Then he asked me if I wanted to stay the night. Since it was late, let’s say 1 am, I said yes because his house was kinda far from mine.
So we went to bed and some time after I began to doze off, I felt him touching me, like squeezing me, really hard. I was confused, and said “what are you doing?” Then I realized what was going on, and I froze. He touched me in places we didn’t agree to before. He didn’t use protection. And I said nothing, I lied there like I was dead or something. The only thing audible was my heavy breathing from the pain and me trying not to cry. He raped and sodomized me that night. I was completely sober.
When the pain got to be too much, and we heard someone knock on a door downstairs which caused him to stop, I used the chance to say “oh I’m not feeling well I’m nauseous” and after a lot of questioning he didn’t stop me from leaving. So I walked home, tearing up, tried to call my roommate who was sleeping because it was around 3 am. When I got home I broke down to her and told her everything that happened.
That’s all I wanna say for now. If you read all of this, thank you. Its sexual assault awareness month which is both triggering and empowering. I just started EMDR so I’m dealing with this trauma, but there is still plenty more to tackle. I beat myself up for not trying to stop him and for freezing, but I know I can’t change the past. I want all the survivors to know you aren’t alone, we can get through this. We are getting through it together. | ptsd |
Does anyone get weird intrusive thoughts about betting with yourself. For example I would randomly think things like “I would bet my entire family’s life that im the only person in my area who has listened to a particular song” - thats just one random example but things of that nature pop into my head all the time. About making weird asf bets with myself. | OCD |
As the title says, I found out about intrusive thoughts and am so relieved. Every so often I'll get a particularly weird or downright disgusting thought continuously circle in my mind and for so long it made me feel horrible. I don't feel comfortable talking about what those thoughts are/were but finding out about intrusive thoughts, and that they're decently common in people with ADHD feels like weights being lifted off me.
Btw for anyone not familiar with them, as to my understanding, intrusive thoughts are sticky or uncomfortable thoughts that you can't really get to go away and may circle in your mind, and it's way more common in individuals with ADHD.
Anyways thx for reading this, lol I just needed to get this out | ADHD |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.