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Maybe this sounds dumb but there are lots of people glued to their cellphones for hours. I don’t understand how it doesn’t affect their social skills? I literally had to dumb down my smartphone so I could observe the environment around me. If I were to be on my cellphone in public for more than 5 minutes, I get this unbelievable anxiety that can last the whole day. Due to my sensitivity I have to be careful when, where, and how often I use my phone otherwise I feel like I will lose my ability to socialize. I see this everywhere, from the airport to the park. I get that they could be socializing on those platforms. If that’s the case then FINE! But if we are talking about someone with an actual social disability it can be either a good thing or a bad thing. I feel the more virtual my communication is the worse it is for my IRL conversations. But I feel that I miss out on a lot of cultural issues when I let that stuff go. I think that this may be more of a personal issue, but I have limited my screen time and it has helped. But as soon as I get on my phone for longer than needed, I feel this anxiety and don’t always know how to face it. | aspergers |
I can’t stand living with this shut anymore. they smallest thing could happen and i’ll feel like i have to wash my hands. i’ve washed my hands so much my they are dry and cracking. i’m at the point where even i know it’s dumb but i just can’t not wash my hands. | OCD |
I’ve been looking into bullet journals, and found that they were first intended for people with ADHD to keep their thoughts and ideas in one place to help them. Did any of you find success with bullet journals? Because I stop and start new things that will help me with my ADHD every 2 to 3 weeks and I haven’t stuck with anything. So I kind of feel like it would be pointless to start another project that I’m just going to give up in two weeks, but would like to know if others found it to help them. Like, is it worth sticking with? | ADHD |
I've been ghosted for the past six months by someone I've known since college. When I was browsing to text someone else, I came across the last text he sent me when he told me we would come up with a plan to talk. It never happened. I waited for him and I never heard from him again. I feel like I'll never get over this. My friends don't even ask me how I'm coping with this. They just assume I'm over it. I just wish he felt the same pain as me. I hate thinking that he's out there having the time of his life when I'm the one suffering. | depression |
Okay I just need to know if anyone else experiences this or has advice — I feel like I can only shop for one “project” at a time. For example, I had a little party last weekend and went to the grocery store for supplies, I knew I also could use some basic groceries, but I couldn’t bring myself to buy any because I was there for the “party project” and groceries are in the “grocery project” list.
Right now I need dish detergent (cleaning project) and also need groceries, and I feel stupid for making a whole trip just for the cleaning project but I really can’t imagine myself putting oat milk and detergent in the same basket 😩 | OCD |
Hello. I am a 26 y/o female who just got diagnosed with ADD. I was prescribed straterra , and for one I don’t see a single change in focus or memory. And also was wondering if anyone else was prescribed this and experienced a fast/ hard heart beat especially when standing. Does anyone have a relief of symptoms on straterra?
Thanks! | ADHD |
So a while back I found out I’m getting a job but I finally today have learned when I’ll start working. It turns out it will be next Tuesday although I’m kinda nervous about it. What’s some advice you can give me? | aspergers |
So I’ve not been diagnosed with ADHD but I have major symptoms of it that only now I’ve became aware of. To explain it a bit better: throughout all my life I’ve been facing it as just me being energetic and anxious but now I’ve realised that it might be more than just that. This realisation came to me because I’m now living a period of my life in which I do not have others telling me what I’m suppose to do/planning my schedule like I had in college (I have to create my own schedule and take care of myself).
It’s been super hard for me, I feel like I have no control over nothing and until now I’ve faced it as depression and anxiety. Next week I’m meeting with my psychiatrist to ask about the possible diagnosis of ADHD.
What I want to know: have any of you started on antidepressants to treat anxiety, gotten better from it but the inattention gotten worse? Like… it’s hard to explain but it’s as if my anxiety was a way for me to focus on things (as if my anxiety was forcing me to focus). Is this also a possible symptom of ADHD? | ADHD |
I’m on 36mg Concerta XL for 2 weeks now and at my wits end. Instead of helping my ADHD symptoms they are getting worse. I am also very very irritable and angry, but not sure if 5is is the meds or just sheer frustration that I’m not getting better. Are these side effects that will go away?I’m sick to death of not getting any better. Please help me in any way you can | ADHD |
I'm having a lot of trouble being functional today. Not focusing on work. Trying not to snap at my boyfriend (for no good reason, he's done nothing wrong, but for some reason I just don't want another person in my vicinity right now). I'm irritated that I exist at all and there's not really a productive way to fix that, so I'm talking to the internet instead of being rude to the people around me.
I'm irritated by a lot of things. I'm really frustrated by work. I worked 60 hours last week, and this week looks like it will be the same - my hours just keep increasing and my pay does not. We were headed into a deadline and my boss told me to sleep with my phone on in case he needed to pull me into a project in the middle of the night. I make a lot of money, so I have no right to complain, but good lord, that's sort of unreasonable, isn't it? I don't know.
I'm pretty exhausted and I just want to shout at people, but I would rather be kind and useful. I don't like that there is so much anger in me. I feel very dangerous to others and it makes me want to just die. I wish I could be hit to death, I wish I could be thrown on the ground and cracked like an egg. I make myself so angry.
It's strange and awful that I'm resentful towards my boyfriend because of the fact that he doesn't want me to kill myself. I get angry with the people who are keeping me alive and suffering, even though I love them. Why are these people even keeping me alive? I'm not good at my job. I'm not a good girlfriend. The world is not worth working on, it's trash. What are we all doing here? They're all wasting my time! I could be dead right now, and free. I don't know. I hope I can at least be of use to some of you somehow.
I do love him. That's the thing that keeps me going in the end. | depression |
I got bad news. I don’t have much time left. I was a jerk to a few people. I’m sorry. | depression |
Like if I obsessed over my passions more than my obsessions I would be in a much better place lol but nope. So weird how the brain works like that( our brains ) | OCD |
I used to draw a lot, I was always better at drawing dudes because I find female anatomy and features really hard to draw personally but since this started I haven’t been drawing as I fear that me drawing dudes is gay somehow. Like maybe the fact that I can draw dudes better means I’ve been paying more attention to dudes all my life and therefore i’m gay. What the fuck man. Not looking for reassurance or anything just showcasing what this can do to a person. I’m also a musician and somehow in my head liking to sing and play guitar makes me gay which is obviously not true but that doesn’t matter to a person with OCD. | OCD |
Slowly coming to a realization about the way I engage with social media, including reddit. I don't check my stove, or my locks, or that my loved ones are safe. But I spend a lot of my time "checking" my social media presence. On several occasions I have scrolled all the way through my social media pages--I'm talking years--all the way to my first posts. Enough times that I know exactly what's there and yet I feel compelled to do it anyway. I scrutinize every photo, every caption, every status, the kind of engagement they get, etc. Sometimes I read through years worth of DMs and text messages, too, just to see how I performed. I make a lot of edits to years' old posts that nobody will see. I delete a fair amount of posts, too. Hell, I even do things like scrutinize the time it took me to reply "STOP" to automated messages.
*Did I get enough likes? Why didn't I get more likes? What did that person mean when they commented on my Facebook quiz result from 2009? Does that caption make me sound stupid? Why didn't my middle school best friend respond that one time I posted on her wall?* I probably have thousands of these thoughts a day.
I pretty much gave up using social media a couple of years ago. Too many nerves about being judged. So lately I've been finding myself just repeatedly refreshing my own reddit profile. Scrolling through and clicking on every comment I've made recently. Like, for hours on end. To the point where I notice a single downvote. And this is a throwaway. I don't know any of these people and they don't know me. And yet...
Idk what I hope to accomplish by writing this. Maybe to have the absurdity of it spelled out plainly before my eyes. Maybe to see if anyone else can relate...?
Thanks for reading.
\-Rooby
PS please upvote
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(last line was a joke) | OCD |
Odd question, I know. I thought about this because I've often flirted with the idea of getting a tattoo but, like many people, never felt I could think of something with enough *lasting* *significance* to justify it.
I was exploring traditional symbols from within my heritage and was fascinated by what I was finding.
While I don't think I'll actually get a tattoo symbolizing ADHD, it made me curious what kinds of images and visuals you all associate with it, if any at all.
Preferably, reply with an image of the symbol. It doesn't have to be tattoo-related at all. | ADHD |
My ocd has gotten so bad and I am too far into it to ever get out. I don't know what's real and what's not anymore. I keep feeling guilty about things that never happened. I am exhausted. I don't want to go to therapy because I am way too embarrassed to talk about the things my ocd makes me do when I get intrusive thoughts. The last time I went I only spoke about it a little and couldn't get myself to say more. And even if I were to talk to to a therapist my brain would accuse me of trying to "manipulate myself out of guilt by saying I have ocd." I want to keep living but not like this. This feels so permanent. | OCD |
Hello. I have ADHD Inattentive type and I want to be a writer so bad, but my ADHD is really making that goal impossible. When I want to write, and I feel inspired, I open up my laptop to write and, boom, suddenly all inspiration and motivation I had to write suddenly disappears. Other times I manage to write a bit, but u get so hyperfocused and critical that I end up deleting it all and stopping. I can never seem to get past chapter two and I really REALLY want to finish a book some day. Has anyone got any tips on how to zone in and keep focused?
Thanks y'all! | ADHD |
Hi, since those are my interests it would be very nice if I found a person with the same interests that has OCD
Message me pls | OCD |
I've been beating myself up over the last 4 years from foolishly looking into the lens of a powered on laser, as it wasn't 'working' as I thought it would, thus hurting my eye, leaving a mark in my vision, possibly forever (or at least for a while until things clear up over time).
Have you done any such stupid things, where you realize later that maybe that was dumb?
Other examples of mine are:
Rushing across the street from nervous energy, sometimes a little too close to moving cars.
Getting a little bit too excited about opening a package with a pair of scissors. (Still haven't cut myself, luckily)
I'm trying to find out if this is relatable. Maybe I can stop being so down on myself for blaming myself for what happened and my injury. | aspergers |
Im most likely suffering from what my therapist calls a ADHD burnout. so i have low energy, depressed and all that stuff. My doctor found that i was low on Vitamin D and Folic Acid, and these things are really important for my well being. But... i had to take daily sumplements for 3 months..... I need my energy to deal with my brain and i need my brain to help me get my energy back. its almost like a Paradox...
After a 3 week mess of trying to do the supplements i deviced a plan. I used a whiteboard dayplanner that i never used for anything else, put it where i take my supplements and marked a cross for every day i took it. i still missed a couple of days but i felt it worked well. A while later i got a message from my doctor that the vitamin levels had stabilized, and i needed to stop taking the Vitamin D Pills. Around 18 hours later that day is stumble across my supplements and i turn my head towards the whiteboard, and see that i haven\`t taken anything for over a week. and so far i had taken the supplements for 3 weeks and i had missed 3 days on the whiteboard. so a total of 6 weeks if you count the first mess.
So my problem is that i have no routines. I tried adding stuff to my morning coffee, but i only found that i don\`t actually drink coffee everyday, in fact i can go over a week without morning coffee. When i work i don\`t leave for work at the same time, and i work day one week and night the other.
I feel like there is no such ting as routines, its only daily self disiplin. | ADHD |
Hey there fellow sufferers anyone of you have obsessions about the definition of words?, especially those who were self treating their OCD/without the help of a therapist and meds? Like for me I really can't start my recovery work because I want my plan to be perfect, in that case I want to be 101% sure that I absolutely, perfectly, blah blah understand the words related to OCD like: thoughts, doubts, obsessions, compulsion, intrusive, feeling, etc. (it's freakin exhausting) so I am ready when OCD strikes.
PS I think I visited all online dictionaries.
Edit: most of the time this obsession about a single word can take weeks or even several months, I'm serious. | OCD |
I have sensory processing disorder, and when I am surrounded by a lot of noise, such as in a bar with friends, 80% of the time I can't figure out what they are saying and it makes me look deaf, it's like the surrounding noise comes up to the same level of them speaking and it's super difficult to pick out what they are saying. Anyone else experience this? | aspergers |
im falling my classes. I can't concentrate and I can't seem to do much work. please give me some tips im fucking desperate.
Im on a cycle of getting alot done all at once and then nothing at all for weeks. I feel stressed and like im in a box. (I don't know if that makes sense?)
I want get into university however if I can't get these assignments in I won't get in. university's near me are looking at mid term marks now and all three of my marks are fails because I haven't been able to get anything in.
I feel like my whole worth is lying on getting into university. my family's love for me feeling likes its riding on me getting into university.
I don't get on meds till November 13 and that's way too far away. mid terms are November 1.
I don't know what ill do if I can't get my mark up and these assignments in. my life feels like it'll be over and worthless.
im so mad at university's for looking at mid term marks this year. im mad at everything and my mental is about to plummet.
please give me any tips that have helped you im desperate. | ADHD |
Hey! Im diagnosed with ADHD-PI and I am very socially anxious. I am a very good conversationalist and literally, won't stop talking if I'm comfortable talking with you. However, even if it depended on my life I could never approach a random stranger at a party or anywhere and start a conversation. I could also never ask out a girl because I'm very scared of getting rejected and any embarrassing moments are like engraved in my mind and my brain never lets me forget them lol. Anyways I get very anxious when I'm at a party or talking to a new person or doing something which takes social energy which I have very little. also anxiety kinda gets worse when I'm on meds (vyvanse)
I'm not really in a position to start therapy or cbt or anything else , so does anyone have any advice how I could improve or any book suggestions that I could read and do some self-improvement? | ADHD |
I have an obsession with archiving and saving everything that I can, mostly useless shit even. Taking photos of random objects and their position, screenshotting every time something I do something on a device, and recently getting extremely scared over not having or the probability of having lost certain important things to me/a state that they were in like my phone case which my dad packaged along with my phone 3 years ago when he gave it to me, recently he died and I've now developed an obsession with finding an out of the box version of this exact case and getting extremely scared of it slowly breaking along with other things. I am literally having an anxiety attack right now, it's 4 am and I can't sleep. What do I do to stop this? | OCD |
I recently just started therapy, but I’m not sure if I like my therapist yet or not. We’ve had like 4 appointments already but we haven’t really talked about my ocd that much, and she just asks me the same questions over and over again. How did you guys find a therapist/treatment that finally worked for you? | OCD |
I am really not in good health at the moment so I bought some vitamin c but my psych told me not to drink or eat acidic food/drink before taking my dexamphetamine because it prevents absorption
I keep forgetting to take it at night so I want to take it with my other supplements after taking my morning dex so how long should I wait after? is 1 hour okay? | ADHD |
Hello! For a number of years, I have had a bad habit of checking *everything* before leaving the house. Lights, electrical outlets, faucets, windows, doors, heating vents, appliances etc. Even making sure that nothing is touching tv remotes, unlit candles or electronic bathroom scales. To deal with these anxieties, I have resorted to taking photos and using counting checking rituals as reassurance that everything is okay. It still consumes a great deal of time, and often makes me run late for things - regularly take more than 25 minutes to leave the house. Then, finally, checking the locked door multiple times when leaving. Similar behaviours when locking and leaving my car etc, but to a lesser extent.
I know it’s excessive and irrational, but it’s really hard to stop. Does anyone have tips for overcoming this sort of thing? | OCD |
I have severe ptsd and when I’m alone in public I don’t like to be bothered. It’s so extremely hard for me to speak in general in fact barely anyone can hear me because I whisper so bad. My low voice is part of my trauma. I notice that strangers are always upset with me if they try to approach me and I’m staring off into the distance with my 1000 yard stare or anxiety ridden
A guy approached me and tried talking to me and asked if I was waiting for the bus I kept staring on and didn’t say anything. He says “oh, no manners I see” and at that point I got pissed and starting going off telling him I don’t owe it to him and he’s a complete stranger and how dare he say I have no manners because I don’t owe him anything
Then at a coffee shop a girl got an attitude because she tried talking to me and I didn’t say anything. I wish people would be more understanding. I could honestly dose off into the sky for hours at a time. I’m in my head 24/7 and it’s wearing on me having complete strangers call me a “bitch” because I’m not communicating in the way they demand. I have severe trauma leave me the hell alone. I’m tired of feeling like a crap person because of this
Thank you for the reward ♥️ | ptsd |
Sometimes when I am woken up suddenly from sleeping (typically loud noise) I immediately feel like I am in danger and that something huge is going on. The last two times it's happened, first my old roommate was coming up the stairs and I thought that he was an intruder who was about to come into my room and kill me. And then I realized it was only him, but I was still afraid of him and I still thought he was going to come and hurt me. More recently, I woke up because of a streetsweeper and my window was open and my neighbors were having a party outside. It took me a long time to realize the noise was only a sweeper, I literally thought some kind of apocalyptic scenario was going on and I was very paranoid of hearing my neighbors' voices even though they were just a bunch of drunk girls and not remotely threatening lol. It took me a long time to fall back asleep because every time the breeze blew through the bushes outside my window, I thought that the branches were a man making some kind of weird repetitive movement and that they were going to try to break through my window and hurt me. Took me a really long time maybe an hour to realize that it was only the breeze in the branches. I also have other mental health problems though so I don't know if this is due to ptsd or something else | ptsd |
I cant leave the country for too long because of my mental health treatment. I have failed to keep in touch with people. I hardly talk to anyone. I dont get invited to social events. I cant hold down a job. I will never get a professional license. I sleep 11 or 12 hours a day because my body needs it. I wont get any more education because how will my poor brain handle it. How would I pay for it? I will never move out from under my mother because I cant hold down a job.
Im wasting everyones time. I only take up space. No one would care if I just disappeared. I am so useless and dont like this pain. | depression |
I’ve flown under the radar with my ADHD (Primarily inattentive) for all of my life, getting a diagnosis (at 30) was a life changing moment for me!
I’m currently on 5 mg of Adderall XR, which does absolutely NOTHING (though my Husband notices small improvements)… I’ll be starting 10 mg on tomorrow & I’m excited, anyone on this dose? | ADHD |
I’ve been on vyvanse 30 mg since Thursday, I’ve not had much of an appetite and didn’t eat hardly anything through the weekend but Monday I decided I needed a real meal and it tasted horrible to me, like almost like the food is spoiled. I wrote it off thinking maybe it was just the restaurant but I cooked my own food tonight and it’s the same, which I obviously know it wasn’t spoiled, is this a side effect? Or has anyone else experienced this? | ADHD |
The funniest thing is that my brain takes what others think is nothing very serious and makes me think about it all day long. So my life is going very inefficiently. | aspergers |
Hi all, undiagnosed M 20 here. TL;DR at bottom. I’ve been struggling a lot recently, I’ve been going through a lot in my personal life. For over a year now, I’ve been suspecting that I might have ADHD, but I’ve been doubting myself about it, but I talked to a counselor and he said we could possibly look into it.
I’ve also been dealing with a lot of personal issues as well, like not feeling like I’m enough, or feeling like my friends are just putting up with me. Ive expressed these feelings to a few of my close friends and they tried to reassure me and comfort me, but I still doubt it, and I don’t really know why.
I’ve also been feeling like I’m not doing enough or just being enough. I don’t feel like I contribute anything to my friendships and it makes me question them even more. Ive been trying to get into some hobbies recently, but I just give them up because I’m not good at them and I don’t feel like putting the effort into them, and then I just end up doing nothing and feeling bad about it.
I’ve been wanting to get into drawing for like the 5th time recently, and today my friend who has been diagnosed with ADHD was drawing on the whiteboard. He drew a really good spider-man on it and I was impressed. I also did get a bit jealous and it just makes me mad that he’s able to be good at a bunch of things that I want to be good at. It just make me feel lesser than other people. Like I feel like I’m not good at anything and it makes me feel inferior.
I’ve also wanted to get into music, but I recorded myself and also sang in front of my friends and it sounded terrible. It just ended up being really discouraging and frustrating because I thought it was something I could be good at but I guess not now.
I don’t really know what to do at this point, I don’t feel like trying anything because I feel like it’s just going to end in failure. How do I deal with this?
TL;DR: Feel like I’m worthless because I’m not good at any hobbies I try and end up dropping them. People around me with the same hobbies make me feel inferior. | ADHD |
I cant jack off anymore. I keep thinking of this awful image i saw online. It was a fake image but it lingers in my mind everytime i jack off. Im so tired of it. Im afraid my mind will make more of them. My ocd is running rampant | OCD |
So, I haven’t been doing to well mentally lately and I had an appointment with my therapist earlier this week and during that appointment I mentioned that I didn’t think that my mental issues were a therapy issue and his immediate response was to threaten to pull all therapy resources that my health insurer is providing. This really surprised me, it’s as though he perceived that notion as a direct threat. It came off to me that his mentality was that I was required to pretend that the therapy was helping even if it wasn’t or all those resources would be pulled. So, drink their Kool-Aid or be left to die… Any thoughts? This was weird right? | depression |
I'm normally the BIRTHDAY QUEEN.. I go all out, hyper focusing on making sure the people I care about have the best birthday possible. Welp. My (28f) boyfriend's (going to be 29m) birthday is tomorrow and between starting a new job, working way more hours than I'm used too, his job cutting back on hours, (so he's almost always home when I am), I haven't had the time to concoct the perfect birthday like usual.
I know he isn't going to be super upset if I'm unable to go all out like normal.. I've told him a few times in the past few weeks I'm so mentally exhausted. Leaving my brain no energy reserved to help keep my adhd or anxiety under control by the time I get a night or day off. Even with meds, I either feel like a human puddle or a radiating ball of anxiety thinking of all the things I need to do, but physically can't because I've worked ten hours, walking anywhere between 12,000-22,000 steps at work all while multitasking and trying to keep everyone around me happy. (I'm a bartender at an airport.)
Okay, end rant. I'm just asking for help with ideas of things I can do, or even maybe make for him to still make his birthday special without over-exerting myself this year. | ADHD |
I’ve noticed every time I try to end game myself I always get really manic before it happens. Not normal manic I get like psychotically happy and angry ig. I’ve been stuck in that mood for a few days now and I’m starting to worry | depression |
...and I'm the one character who keeps breaking the fourth wall. | aspergers |
Yesterday I was at a family get together and my little cousin was there she is like 11 or smt and I feared I was attracted to her it was like a feeling in the pit of my stomach no erection or anything just this tingling. I got worried and tried to not think about it and brushed it off as false attraction even tho it felt real. This morning I was lying in bed browsing some news site and I was reading an article on when famous rappers lost their virginity. There was a rapper who said he lost it at 6 to another 6 year old. I started panicking and there was an image of two six yo having sex in my head and I got a bit hard from it. I turned my phone offf and waited till my meat was soft. I then watched adult porn to prove that I am attracted to adults not kids . This is a common thing I do when I get worried. I then started to question whether or not I’m a pedo and I decided to test if I was I looked up images of kids in swimsuits and i didn’t get a boner but my penis swelled up and was a bit bigger than usual. Idk if this means I’m a pedo or not I really don’t wanna be one I would rather be dead. This ‘false attraction’ just feels too real to ignore | OCD |
Hi friends, I get stuck very badly on negative intrusive thoughts with my ADHD and I can’t figure out how to fix it. This is especially true for emotionally-charged thoughts.
I am a very sensitive person, so as you can imagine, hearing about a negative thing (for example, animal ab*se) can really mess up an entire day for me and I’ll spend it in bed, crying and imagining it rather than doing anything productive.
My ADHD meds typically help me with focus, productivity, and emotionally connecting, but this is where I feel like they really backfire. Do you have any tips on how to get out of the rut/emotionally “break away” and get back to what I need to do? | ADHD |
I've had two therapists that were great for me personally, the last of which I saw in 2018 before I moved. I'm seeing a couples therapist with my partner, and he is fantastic as well. Since my move I have tried and tried to find a therapist that works for me, to no avail.
-I tried an agency that was straight up just trying to scam people out of money
-I tried my University's counseling center but they just tossed me into a support group where they expected me to tell a circle of strangers things I still hadn't talked to myself about
-I stayed long term with one therapist but she was 10-15 late to every session and we made no progress
-I tried one agency that bounced me to three different people each two months apart, as if that's going to do anything
-And now I'm here and I'm so hesitant with my new therapist. Today is going to be our first real session. Just from my past I'll say I'm not a huge fan of therapists that communicate largely over text messages. I prefer •go to appointment •set up follow up appointment in office or in a soon to follow phone call •repeat •ideally, have appointment same time every single week as to avoid even doing that
And that is not what we have here. She communicates over text, she's seemingly forgot to follow up with me to make appointments and as such we've made same day within the hour appointments over zoom for intake, she's forgotten (in the case of today) if our appointment would be in person or over zoom and I've had to remind her. So I think today I'm going to let her know what my boundaries are. That I would like to set a reoccurring appointment time weekly from here on, in office, and she can send a text to confirm the appointment if she would like but that's as far as I would like our communication via text to go.
I just want this to go well. I need therapy so bad my PTSD is so bad. I want to have sex with my partner. I want him to be able to hold me from behind. I want the flashbacks to stop. I just want to be okay.
Edit: I'm in the waiting room for my appointment and the office phone just plays all the voicemails they get out loud, I can't say I like that and I also feel like that's a violation of some sort | ptsd |
So I’m currently dealing with ROCD so it’s really a struggle I can’t even sleep properly anymore. I’m scared to even go to bed because I know I will wake up with negative thoughts, I just need to know if there is anything I can do to prevent this. Rant time- I hate this thing so much I’m so scared and have no idea what to do, I’m trying online therapy and hope it helps! Thanks for reading | OCD |
I know that this partially this has to do with being a visually learner, but curious to see if adhd has anything to do with it.
I can listen to a song literally 1,000 times and only know like 5% of the lyrics. The only songs I really know the lyrics to are the ones I’ve written down manually. I don’t even remember the words to jingle bells! My wife will hear a song once and know almost all the lyrics.
Anyone have similar experiences? | ADHD |
It’s taken a long time for me to get here. But after a couple of months of intense ERP, and help of medication, I’ve managed to get my nearly 12 hours of OCD per day to around an hour a day.
It’s still difficult, and I have quite a few bad days, but I’m having so many more good than before.
Someone commented once that OCD is like a boxing match, and finally it seems I’m back in the fight. :)
Thank you to everyone’s support, this subreddit has been so helpful. | OCD |
I block every one I encounter. It is a discomfort I have a hard time articulating. | aspergers |
The older I get the more apparent it is to me that I feel pain from being lonely. I have a good paying job, a cool car, and I’m at a fitness level I’d never thought I’d be at. However, I still feel empty I’ve been smoking more weed just to fill that hole. What are some things you do to make new friends?
I think if I was able to make even one friend I’d feel the sense of accomplishment | aspergers |
Pokemon is like my biggest and longest lasting hyper fixations and i’ve been searching everywhere for any of the celebrations cards and i finally found a single elite trainer box online and i ordered it for myself and i’m so excited i literally cried. just wanted to share the good news with people who actually understand hyperfixations and the excitement that goes along with them | ADHD |
TRIGGER WARNING-DESCRIPTION OF PAIN
Are you ever just lying in bed and then you think about something really painful happening to you. For example I just thought about getting a papercut in a very sensitive place. And now I cang stop tensing and flinching | OCD |
Hey guys! So I’m currently in finals week and I thought I’d ask for some opinions on this, since it’s been hurting my grades and causing problems for me.
I’ve been doing wonderful as far as OCD/anxiety goes. I’ve been medicated for over six months now and I’ve been feeling great. As most of you may know, the illness usually doesn’t completely goes away. I’m wrapping up my first semester of college, and one of the problems I’ve been having is extremely hight OCD and anxiety during my tests. When I test in math, a problem I face is constantly scratching out my shown work and rewriting it until it “feels right.” I’m sure you all know what I mean by “feels right.”
Since I don’t really have a good example, I wrote this work down as an example to try to further explain:
[Math scratch work](https://ibb.co/BLH4grY)
As you can see, I constantly scratch out work because it doesn’t sit right with me and rewrite it. I also tend to draw arrows to sort of show myself what I’m doing. In addition, I even write over the same thing multiple times until it super dark and bold and just looks “right.” I also circle my work too much just because it “feels right.”
It may not seem like such a big deal, but when I do this for every question, it results in a great amount of wasted time and wasted scratch paper (we’re only allowed certain amounts of paper).
My question, really, is if anyone has similar problems, and how you might overcome these distractions. The tests are timed and I typically run out of time just because I get so distracted. Is there anything I can tell myself or do to kind of take my mind away from this?
I greatly appreciate all input! I’m hoping to get some opinions before my test tomorrow morning! :) | OCD |
So I’m 17 and I’ve always been attracted to women and girls my age. That’s how I’ve been. But I’m worried I’m attracted to women and kids and I’m just now knowing I’m attracted to kids. Is that logical to worry about since I’ve always been attracted to women? | OCD |
I never used to be the person to take this. He is gaslighting me, he is always yelling no matter how I beg to stay calm. I pack his lunches and cook dinner every night. I'm changing careers and things are so uncertain and I'm so scared and I need support...yet he says I'm being lazy, I'm blowing it, I waste all my time. But I'm studying and I take care of our dogs and I try to exercise and cook and clean...AITA? What am I doing wrong and how do I gain his support that I really, really need? Or his affection. Compliments...faith....love....please. anything | depression |
It's been over 3 years since I can recall feeling generally positive and upbeat about life. Literally the last time that I can look back on an event and not feel depression creeping around the edges like a vignette of empty sadness was in 2018.
I have a "win" jar-just a mason jar that I write down good things that happen so I have evidence that life isn't all bad-but these things don't make me happy. There just there so that I can remember that not every moment sucks. Even this, though, is problematic because I find out stuff later that tears those events at the edges so that I can even look at them and even think about how good they were in the moment because I know it's all lies. | depression |
So one day I saw my boyfriend without the expectations of feeling a certain way, it worked for me for a while I suddenly felt like I loved him, that I was excited to see him, that I was able to feel happy agian, my obsession was gone for a minute or so then it came back I was doubting if he was the one agian.
Does anyone have this?
Why did I feel that way is it not true? | OCD |
Without really feeling and experiencing things?
I developed depersonalisation disorder after a bad drug trip, it’s improved a bit over the years but I’ve heard a few people with ADHD describe feeling somewhat similar - dissociated like you’re never really in the moment and always stuck in your own head.
When I’m medicated I turn sort of robotic and just plough through work like an automaton.
I’m wondering to what degree this might be an ADHD thing, or why your experience has been like? | ADHD |
I'm curious on what you're proud of in your live that's not the typical big house, loats of money, successful job glossy achivement but something more unique to your live experience. What would you considere more praiseworthy in in your live that's ignored or taken for granted? Maybe something others wouldn't even consider an achivement but for you it is, because you spend time and effort working on it. I feel this is especially interesting for ASDs because "normal" things can be so very hard.
Maybe I could ad something from my own experience. I did help my partner out of his alcoholism. I nagged and pressured and coaxed him daily for years. People often say that you can't change your partner but in my case it worked. It took a lot of effort though. I feel this is a big achivement but nothing to write in my cv.. I'm not very successful in my worklife true to ASD statistics. Work is so often used synonymous with success in general wich get's me down so I'm happy to share and read your storys. | aspergers |
I was in classes for about 3 weeks then had a bad mental health day and dropped out from them. I never told my parents what happened. I’m not sure if I should tell them or keep lying. If I tell them they are going to be so disappointed and I don’t know if I could deal with that. On the other hand if they ask to see grades or something I can’t show them anything.
An outsiders opinion would be helpful. | depression |
Anybody else with this fantastic duo?
I've been diagnosed with ADHD very young and been medicated since 5. My mom's also a both psychiatrist and adhd'er so it wasn't difficult to figure out. I relate to all aspects of adhd and think I was accurately diagnosed. That said, lately I've been considering if I might be also on the spectrum. Aside from adhd symptoms, below I can think of the contradictory aspects:
* I very much enjoy novelty-induced dopamine; new places, travelling, different instruments, hobbies, languages, foods, activities, friends but for certain things I **insist on sameness and don't find change easy** \- especially if it's like family separation or class change or something major
* I am spontaneous and impulsive but for important stuff like med management or major academic obligations I'm incredibly **planned - with various backup plans**
* I hyper focus on classes via urgency, competition, fear etc. and on varying interests that change frequently but also also have **long term hyper-interests**
* I absolutely love engaging in risks and the dopamine they provoke, competing, or proving others wrong/teaching lessons in a very mildly risky impulsive ways lol without any second thought but for major tasks or significant matters, I'm very **cautious, meticulous and can't risk - I can't relax until I get it done.**
* I'm super careless and make inattentional mistakes all the time but also **notice very small changes and fine details**
* I don't really understand the importance/urgency/danger till the stimulus itself is present so I leave everything to last moment but when that time comes, I can't just brush it off; I must **act in a certain routine that feels right** to study for exams, like I have multiple apps on my phone and iMac concerning focusing, major note taking, side notes, mind mapping, Anki etc.
* I am super hyperactive and impatient to write something down and have the tendency to do things at the spur of the moment, but again if I'm determined to do something, **I'll first meticulously list them one by one, and go through each step to perfectly accomplish** it.
* When I'm interested in a subject or situation, I can ignore whatever noise there is but I have **extraordinary hearing** that's been noticeable to everybody else since childhood as I could hear all the way from basement when my parents whispered. I **get very irritated by noise when I can't hyper focus and I have to read something**, so I put AirPods Pro + noise cancelling headphones on
* I'm very tactile, **temperature, light, taste sensitive**
* No issues comprehending metaphors and have always been able to understand irony sarcasm etc. but I also **play with words like lego and create my own metaphors** since childhood
* **Alexithymia** but this could be from adhd too
* **No motor clumsiness**, have played tennis, table tennis professionally for over 7 years
* I've always had a quite big social circle and found it easy to make friends but I think this was partially because I have birth hypoxia and my response to only available med in my childhood was insufficient due to additional issues in synthesis (methlyphenidate), so I was constantly in search of stimulation in that understimulated, dopamine deficient state and **socialization was like a reinforcing mechanism like reward, I might have been more interested in that than the friendships themselves**
* **So despite socializing well on the surface,** I realized I learned everything in an algorithmic way. I can form and detect patterns quite well. Over time they get automated and I act based on past references but if I have never had such an experience before then I can make an error.
* Also have many friendships but can only bond to a few truly
* **Hyper systemizing** in various aspects including social while hypoempathising most of the time
* I don't seem to have weak central coherence when understanding the material because I tend to grasp big picture well. In fact, I prefer to learn from whole to pieces but I do find myself get **concerned unnecessarily with details** at times.
* If I'm not paying attention in social situations, I can **miss the cues, intentions and/or not process important stuff both individually and integrated to understand what's actually going on** like last year a friend of mine was pretending to be depressed to be with me and even used suicide as a last resort but I didn't understand until it became super clear that he was manipulating me. I thought he was genuinely depressed and suicidal and took him to hospital 2 times.
* I tend to be **too trusting and take what I've been told literally without questioning if the person is already someone close, at times can fail to see covert motives** but also know how to manipulate or act diplomatically so theory of mind isn't fully absent.
* I **can get detached from friendships very easily** without getting upset, but it could be that I never bonded in the first place (been also diagnosed with giftedness and had difficulty relating to peers since childhood even if it didn't seem like on the outside)
* **Enjoy schedules and various routines**, though my adhd prevents me from keeping them.
* I keep up with the latest fashion or social trends and blend in well. Yet it feels more like an acting in a social game to gain reward than actually wanting to.
* I **like to search on specific details to the point of mastering the entire category** when I buy something but also make impulsive purchases
* Sometimes I am unable to see my words' or actions' impact on the other person while other times I am extra careful and gentle to not offend.
* I'm good at fully learning what interests me and **don't have a good fact based memory.**
* **Aversion towards non-fiction** but also enjoy sports. | aspergers |
How do you soul search? How do you find yourself? Cus sometimes I think I wanna do one thing and the next day I want to do something else. | depression |
I found out I have adhd right before my 21rst birthday and I’m going to be honest it’s been hell. Trying to learn why I do things, or why my brain acts a certain way in different situations. It’s all very much. And every time I feel like I get closer to something Monumental it just breaks. Nothing happens. I’m an artist, I make music. Well at least I did. I haven’t been able to for years. It’s eating at me everyday of my life. Constantly thinking that my life is headed nowhere because I’m not doing anything. But I can’t. There’s something in the way and idk what it is. This life is starting to feel….. I guess, not worth it. I don’t know much about our “disorder” and I know there’s hella perks to it, and half the time I actually like my adhd. But jeez man I’m so tired of fighting everyday without any goddamn results. I try and I try, failure after failure. On top of that I have to work a 9-5. I feel like that’s the worst thing you could do to a adhd brain. Life is so hard. And I feel like I don’t have a steering wheel or breaks. | ADHD |
Hello I am a victim of repeated sexual assault. I have been getting help from therapy as well as a close friend since the attacks happend. For almost five years she has been my confidante and helped me though everything.
A month ago my best friend randomly sent a folder of naked pictures of herself and told me that she was falling for me. I had been having the same feeling about her but I always chalked it up to me being a lonely guy. So we agreed to start a relationship on the note that if we weren't compatible we would go back to being friends.
We both have our own mental issues me being a victim of assault and her being bipolar. I knew this was going to be alot of work but we are worth it. Both of us have addiction issues I smoke alot of cannabis and she is really into cocaine. I only smoke pot but I don't mind looking past something like cocaine especially if she is willing to work on her dependency on it.
She wanted to see me naked but I have a serious with body image problems. I still went through with it and even did a few things I wasn't fully comfortable with but I did it anyways because she told me she loved me and I do want to make her happy.
Everything was fine until a few days ago when her boss' friend got out of jail and started hanging around the store where she works. The guy is an abuser he would beat his girlfriend, he is also addicted to meth. Needless to say he is bad person to be around. My friend tried to talk to her boss but he said too bad he stays.
Now my friend thinks the only way to get her boss to do something is to destroy her own life to get him to kick out his friend. She bought the guy a cell phone and was planning on paying rent on an apartment for him until she ran herself financially into the ground. Mind you all these decisions are made while she was on a 5 day coke bender with no sleep.
When she called me to tell me what she had been doing I told that was a stupid idea, that spending money on an addict will only keep him coming around. She took this as I favor money over friendship. That's not it at all if I felt spending money on this guy would get rid of him and help her boss I would have paid for an apartment for him myself. In my opinion spending money on this guy is only going to make the problem worse and keep him around longer.
Well that was that after a short debate she ended the call pretty much instantly without even a goodbye saying maybe I will talk to you in 6 months.
I am still in shock. All my dreams are once again filled with distant memories of my assaults. In the five years of being alcohol free I have never wanted a drink more badly than I do now. I have never been so close to killing myself.
I don't really know why I am posting but clearly I need help. I tried reaching out to friends about it but I don't have any who care about mental issues. I feel so alone. | ptsd |
I know I've already been here a million times, it just kinda helps to shout to y'all. Today's meh again, just getting out of the season with a million anniversaries. Summer was when he left for the first time. I remember how much it hurt, obviously when I still loved him. I would cry every single day and desperately stare at his Facebook profile pictures just hoping he would message me for hours. I'd listen to his favorite songs and try to memorize them so when we got back to school in the fall I'd already know them. I'd imagine the life we'd live if he'd just love me again, I'd imagine us holding hands in the halls and going to fields to watch the stars and make out, I'd imagine us dancing in public while he ran some errands. I'd imagine us driving in his car again, like we did almost every day, and blasting music at the highest volume. I remember the ache I felt those days, how physical it was, in the center of my chest.
The summer after he left for the final time, I remember I thought I was doing better. I had realized in the April before everything he had done to me. I despised him. I had cried more for months asking how he could have treated me that way, especially if he loved me. I never found the answer. But I thought I moved on. I had essentially repressed everything, I was hooking up with any guy who would give me attention, and I knew it, but I didn't care. It didn't seem like I was just trying to cope, I thought I was just being carefree and having fun. But then the summer came around, and when I was alone, without any responsibilities, without anyone there to distract me, that ache in the center of my chest came back, and I longed for him again. I cried again. It was so confusing, because I knew I still hated him for what he did to me. I was so hurt. I was so angry. But I loved him. And I kept trying to lie to myself as if I didn't.
Eventually it got better. I still loved him for a while, and though I was moving on with my boyfriend, he and I both knew how attached I was no matter how long it had been. Bless his heart, he was completely understanding, he knew how complex my relationship to my abuser was. And I thought it would just go away with time. And for the most part, it did. I used to fear that if he ever came back, that I would leave and fall right back into his arms. I eventually knew for certain that I would never do that. I do despise him still. A lot more now, but also less. It's less desperate, less passionate, but I know I would never go back. I know he's a pathetic loser now, but that's just what he'll be. And yet I still find myself missing him. I still look back at the songs that I fell in love with because of him, and I imagine him headbanging and that big goofy grin he had and how safe I had felt with him, at least in the beginning. And it takes me a while to remember, that's not who he was. That's just who he pretended to be, until he had me. And part of me still wants that back. He was my best friend for so long. And I haven't had a friend like that since him. It's like, god I know I don't love him anymore. But I know in some weird, toxic way, I do. It's like a weird form of Stockholm syndrome. He hurt me so much, and yet I still want to see him smile at me again. I want him to tell me how proud he is of me again. I don't want a relationship, because I also know how much I love my bf and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I do want to be friends again, and just joke around, make stupid fucking memes and argue over whose music taste is superior again.
I really hate this, and I wish I understood why I feel this way. I know that friend that I want back, he isn't real. But I just can't get rid of it. Maybe it's my fault, maybe it's some psychological reason, idk. I just wish I could stop it. I don't want to miss him anymore. I feel so guilty that I do. I'm too embarrassed to admit this anywhere else, to anyone else, especially my boyfriend. I don't want him thinking he's not enough, because he is. It's just me. I'm just stuck. And I wish I could finally move on. | ptsd |
I have OCD paranoia though about my mom kill me but I no irrational thought psychiatric gave anti psychotic med is this OCD or something else plz Tel me help me | OCD |
I found our abuser's old bible he gave to our mom many years ago today. It was in the pile of books she wanted to get rid of. He put us through severe religious abuse until we estranged ourself from him at 16. And even though he's put me through so much hurt, I still want to keep it. I want to keep the one thing I have left of him, with possibly the most traumatic ties. Every part of me is telling me not to, but I want to. I know it hurts, and I know I shouldn't be attached to him, but ever since he's been trying to get back into contact with me I've been missing him and he's been at the forefront of my mind again. Do I keep it?
tl;dr i found our abuser's old bible and don't know if i should keep it or not | ptsd |
I can’t stop having the intrusive thoughts that something terrible is gonna happen if things go too smoothly for awhile. If someone is too nice with me like my mom or my boyfriend I start to feel like something bad is going to happen to them and I start getting really anxious about it. Even if things just go too well for me in profession and relationship wise I think that something must bad must happen to me soon because things can never be TOO GOOD. It’s like my brain always finds a reason to make me anxious even when there is literally nothing wrong going on.
Can anyone else relate?
(Edit:) wow I didn’t expect that many people to relate to that! It’s really sad to hear that you all have to deal with the same thing but it’s comforting to know that we are not alone in that! Thank you all for the responses | OCD |
Hello, I was invoked in a bad accident yesterday, luckily I survived but today I have been having some horrible thoughts, I feel awful and don't know what to do with myself.
A local page has posted the article and reading the comments and knowing people have seen the crash is making me feel so bad, I can't cope anymore 😢😢😢 | ptsd |
Y'all I've been having an absolute crisis today, and a mental breakdown over being so frustrated at myself and my life. For years I have wondered if I have ADHD, I have the classics symptoms: insanely distracted when talking to someone, I either am OBSESSED or I don't care at all, always struggled in a work environment, extremely distractable, I get hyperfocused on my interests and hobbies, then I'll just completely drop them. I've always felt 'behind' everyone else. I feel emotionally immature. I get fixated on things, about life, about myself. I get STUCK in my emotions, stuck in bad moods, stuck on thoughts. I feel that I've been held back by this potential case of ADHD. I haven't sought a diagnosis cos it costs $400, but I keep thinking about it.
I feel like I've achieved nothing in life. I get super inspired about things and feel all this momentum to make a change, then I do nothing. I feel like I'm UNABLE to do things. I feel so stuck. I hope you guys can relate. I'm so frustrated. I just keep hoping that all of this is something that I could manage/fix with medication or SOMETHING. I feel like such an idiot, I feel so intellectually compromised. And. I just. Gah!!! | ADHD |
Today was payday and I have to pay my registrations on our cars, so I've had that in my head all week and completely displaced everything else.
I feel terrible and tried to make up for it with breakfast in bed and running to the mall at lunch.
I normally have calendar reminders but didn't have one this year for some reason. | ADHD |
Lately, my depression constantly has me on the verge of wanting to do something stupid to myself. Historically, I’ve been able to fight off the depression (usually with some unhealthy habits and a few dark moments here and there).
Lately, though, I just constantly feel on edge. Even when I feel okay, it doesn’t take anything real significant at all to push me over the edge.
I feel utterly alone. I hate myself. I keep resorted to my same old unhealthy habits (which are slowly killing me), but even those aren’t helping right now.
I don’t really want to die, but I don’t want to be me anymore. | depression |
Let's start with the beginning, let's see where I went wrong or where I'm wrong.
I had a relationship, in which I started making sacrifices, I took second place and I didn't see any other priorities in life.
When I met this person I decided to go back to the remote job that allowed me to support myself and lead an ok life.
The situation changed shortly, I gave up the remote job for a full time position.
Work schedule 7 am-7pm, office work, very stressful and with quite high pressures from the employer, I said I make this sacrifice
to be able to be happy and to be able to support myself and my partner since then.
It was good for a while, but the situation changed over time and I didn't have time to get home very tired and without any desire.
Knowing that I stay at work for so many hours, I expected when I got home to find a plate of hot food and to be able to rest.
But the situation was not like that at all, I slowly started to change my mind, I specify that I kept the house and everything related to us, I limited myself to see her happy.
Soon I began to open my eyes and look in the mirror at how much I had changed for a person I thought would be with me.
I know from my previous relationships that as a mature person when he sees that the other person is making sacrifices, you try to be with him and get over the problems together.
I started to get cold when I saw them coming to my house and someone had other occupations than the small duties of a person living in a house,
I did not impose it on anyone and I will never do it.
But I had a few expectations to see a little cleaning in the house, a plate of hot food and clean clothes.
Do you think I'm asking too much of the relationship?
As a man, I took care of these aspects on my own since I was 7 years old, I learned that I have to deal with being alone at the parties and only one parent who took care of me, found it difficult to be a mother. But life goes on.
At the age of 16, I was hired for the first time, because the material situation at home put my father under a stress that I did not want to cause.
Given that he was alone and raised me, I could not ask for more than I was offered and I learned to appreciate what I receive.
Returning to the current situation, I found that the relationship is toxic trying to talk and tell me the point of view maybe we can fix the situation.
But it became more convenient to reproach me.
She soon used the car I was using for work, involving her in an accident with total damage due to her fault and leaving me without a means of transportation.
I decided to stop the relationship and see each other on the road, because I lost more than 7 kg in one month which created some medical problems for me.
Now going back to the current situation, on the position I am working on now I have pressure from very big bosses, certain conditions in the contract are not respected,
if I want to discuss them, I have two options, either they write my resignation or they fire me.
The problem now is that I am looking for a new job, but I can't find myself anymore, I feel very tired, I don't have the right to be able to stay at home to rest for a while.
I haven't had a relationship in a year, I'm not focused on this aspect because I have other priorities in life, at least the medical situation stresses me a lot and I can't do anything yet because I need another source extra income so I can handle it.
The management of the company has a wrong approach towards employees, subjected to pressure, unpaid work with additional schedule and the continuous list ... which make me start quite a bit to give up and look for another job.
At the moment I do not have a material and financial security with which I can support myself, in parallel I am working on a portfolio for the presentation of my projects and hoping that I will be able to find some work, maybe with a health insurance or more benefits, which can help me. in the future.
My question is the following, I see life with different eyes, I have other expectations or it's just the toxic environment and I have to make some changes to be able to recover.
How do you see the situation and what advice can you give me to put on a smile and maybe I can see the full side of the glass as honestly I only see a black light at the end of the tunnel.
If you have advice, opinions in which direction I can focus - I can detail my professional experience and work as much as necessary to complete the project or the request made by the employer. | depression |
My childhood trauma resulted in some traits that have really served me well growing up. Good, positive things that have made me very successful. Obviously, other traits have had some negative consequences for me as well, that I didn't recognize my parts in those patterns until the last year or so. Since then I've done alot of work on this, weekly therapy, tons of reading, videos, Journaling, reflecting, etc.
The one thing I really get stuck on is the hypervigilence or survival drive. It really consumes me. I struggle with work life balance- I'm a work-a-holic to a point where my work regularly comments on it and this is the topic of most of my development with my boss, and probably the thing I am known most for by anyone outside of my kids. I have great perceived social skills, but connections never feel genuine for me because I am constantly analyzing everyone, examining motives for actions, body language, anticipating their needs, feelings, etc. The opposite is true for the other person,, and I regularly hear that no one has ever been able to understand them like I do ( or some variation of understanding them). I'm a great mom, but (and I hate admitting this- it's mostly driven by 2 thoughts). I regularly think about how they feel and if it will one day lead to me losing this relationship, which is only overpowered by the thought that if I were to die tomorrow, they would have no one to protect them or teach them, so I must instill these healthy boundaries in them, right this second, even if it's hard or they will grow up and end up in abusive relationships, or be homeless, or the victim of someone who doesn't love them, etc.
This type of survival thinking is okay for me in a lot of ways, but I know I miss out on alot of life, and also I worry what I model for my children. I struggle to sit through a TV show because I just feel like I could be doing something more productive. Even my quality time with my kids, I pep talk myself into justifications why it is okay for me to be doing something that feels unproductive-, is more for a purpose (setting a positive example, building bonds, building self esteem, etc) and it makes me sad because my kids are genuinely amazing people that I enjoy being with, I just feel like, in the off chance something happens, did I do everything humanly possible to ensure they will be okay, if I'm not acting with purpose in this moment. I feel like every second is so precious, I need to maximize it with something that will serve me later, and I'm constantly looking for things to improve and analyzing myself.
Anyways, I've read alot about this, and the techniques that are suggested. Mindfulness, meditating, recognizing that I am safe right this moment type stuff. But I keep hitting 2 blocks, that I can't wrap my head around. I can agree that right this second, I am probably 99.9% safe, but I also know how quickly that could change with no warning. Someone could break in right now and would I be prepared for that? Right now, my company could be planning lay offs and I would never see it coming, would I need the extra income, or reference, or connection that I could be working towards right now. And the thing is, I can recognize how unlikely those risks are right now, but I can't seem to accept that safety is never guaranteed and just live regularly with that. Especially since the only negative effects from these things are that I'm lonely sometimes, or tired, or just a little sad on the inside. I can push those things aside and often times the benefits -especially career success, and a great relationship with my kids- are the things I value most. This makes it really justifiable in my head, and hard to shut off.
I feel incredibly lucky that my ptsd manifested this way, but I do want to get to a healthier place and maybe one day a healthy relationship. I hate being so "intense" ALL of the time.
Adding in: the other side effect I am really struggling with (and really what triggered this post) is that because of this hypervigilence, I do understand people so well that I can feel their pain. This used to result in me being the fixer, which led to the toxic relationships. I have worked alot on the boundaries and I make a conscious effort not to take on other people's problems as my own. The result is I'm just left with all of that sadness and pain with no way to be. I try to just sit with it, but then I just go numb. I sometimes wish I could start a drug habit or become an alcoholic to deal with my pain, but that survival instinct kicks in and I can't even let myself get drunk at home with wine. It's like a block, I've tried. | ptsd |
This is one of the most difficult things I’ve had to deal with. I have been diagnosed with OCD and I’m thinking I’m struggling with moral scrupulosity ocd. Every time I have an intrusive thought of some past event that may have been slightly bad I have to immediately confess to someone like my mom. It’s like I don’t have a choice, I cannot live if I don’t tell someone about it. It just destroys me if I keep it in, I can’t breathe, concentrate or move. Even if the thought Is completely false, just the possibility that something bad might of happened or I might have thought something bad before immediately makes me want to confess.
The first episode I had of this was when I was 10, I went onto a pornographic website briefly out of curiosity and a few days later I broke down crying and confessing everything to my mom. I couldn’t go to school, I couldn’t calm down, I was completely stuck until I told my mom every single detail that I saw and until I got every bit of reassurance that I’m not that bad. And this lasted over a year, it completely destroyed me and made me become super obsessive over being good. Fast forward to being 22, it’s stuck with me. I’ve had periods of times where this hasn’t happened and I’ve done some things I shouldn’t have like I first got drunk at 14 and I tried a cigarette. When I was 17 I confessed all of this to my mom and complete broke down about it.
I’m now facing another bad episode of this and it’s killing me. It’s taking over my mind and I’m so tired. I don’t want to have to keep confessing to people, but when I don’t then all I want to do it just die. This is absolute torture how do I get through this please. | OCD |
I understand there are symptoms for depression. I just find it difficult sometimes to answer the one asking "have you lost interest in things you used to enjoy?" Because I don't remember ever having something I enjoy. My whole life has always been either school, work, study, work, and be sad.
Similarly with "less energy". I've NEVER had energy as an adult. | depression |
or any show like that. Like the good doctor. I know house isnt autistic but it mkes me feel better to watch him talk down to his subjects and figure impossible med stuff out | aspergers |
**So yeah, I was replying to someone else's thread about diagnosis experiences and decided it got to a point where it was straying from the topic and off the rails as such and thought, "meh, let me just make a new post."**
**Maybe someone can relate to my tale, maybe no one will. But this is the short version of my voyage to becoming an official Aspie. Feel free to throw in your views, opinions or questions regardless of what you think. I got one hell of a thick skin. I should have be in bed hours ago, so I'm going to nap after this and will respond to anyone who replies when I can.**
Make of it what you will.
**So yeah, here's what I was going to post on the other thread that was titled:**
***"What is an Aspergers diagnosis like?"***
Oh man when they brought out the anal probe I began to worry....
/jk
For me it was just being asked questions like 'on a scale of 1 to 10' relating to human things. Stuff like relating to anxiety in particular circumstances, seeing 'patterns' in things, how inclined I am to obey rules, how I feel when others break them, questions regarding senses and their sensitivity, that kind of thing and then just chatting with my psychologist for a bit about various subjects.
Kind of funny because I was actually just seeing him about methods of coping with chronic physical pain without drugs, because well, no doctor wants to give me any drugs because I've been physically 'effed' for over a decade now with some mystery ailment and they don't want to prescribe me anything until they know they can 'name it'......
Although coming out of it with no psychological pain relief methods for my physical ailments, finally getting diagnosed as Aspie was kind of worth it. Even though I wasn't looking for it.
So yeah literally seeing a psychologist for something else and came away autistic lol.
True story.
Diagnosis was pretty easy over all.
Bit annoying though that nobody ever thought to tell me they thought I might be autistic despite all of them going 'oh that makes sense, we thought that might be the case' once they heard the diagnosis. People just made it clear they thought I was a little weird or eccentric, but I was still generally treated like I was NT.
Actually what is really annoying, aside from the usual Aspie traits like sensory issues where all my senses seem to be dialled to 12, is I am pretty much Aspie because I am what humans are meant to be, or I'm at least what we're told constantly from birth what humans should be as well as I do not delude myself about reality because I am incapable of doing so.
That's what I get if I speak to psychologists. Nothing wrong with me. It's the rest of the world and humanity that is broken. Their words, not mine. I have to be what I am not, to keep everyone else happy. and I mean EVERYONE, not just NT's. Not a game I am willing to play any more after a lifetime of playing it at the expense of my own happiness. Ugh, I hate lying for the sake of it soooo much.
Most of my sessions after the first few were advising my doctor how to fix his shit, because he would use his own life as an example for a problem and the solution and I was like, "whoa doc, that's some bullshit there" and offered better solutions to problems than he was giving me.
'Emotional democracy?' GTFO here with that Doc.
Think he enjoyed my company because for an hour he got paid to hang out, shoot the sit and drink coffee with me and had a patient that wasn't crying about how awful his life was every visit.
Honestly, being diagnosed Aspie was the easiest 'medical' exam I've ever had to undertake. I think it is the consequences of such a diagnosis that can be the hardest thing one might face from what I've seen for a lot of Aspies, especially those that are extremely high functioning. Myself included, but I got over that pretty quick thank god.
Do miss hanging out with my Psych, really liked the guy and enjoyed our monthly 'hour'. But I didn't want to be taking up a spot from someone who he might actually be able to help.
I did get my favourite joke out of the experience though.
Me: "Made progress with my psychologist today."
Wife: "That's great."
Me: "Yeah it is, but unfortunately he still hasn't made any with me."
I'm 'Aspie' if that's what people need to label me to have their world make sense and I am completely okay with that, because even if I am not they're gonna label me something anyway.
It's just another word for me just being me. And 'me' doesn't need fixing because I am okay with who I am and who I am has no negative impact on anyone else's life unless THEY choose to let it.
tl;dr: a few years ago went to doctors to get help for physical ailments, came away autistic instead lol. | aspergers |
Hi there, looking for advice really - I’m undiagnosed, awaiting an appointment after a GP referral, but is this common in ADHD and if so how do you cope? I struggle to get up in the morning and when I do I often just sit on the sofa getting increasingly overwhelmed and anxious about everything I need to do, without actually getting anything done. I waste so so so much time like this - it impacted my a levels and degree and now my job and I’m really struggling with it. Any advice would be really appreciated - any coping mechanisms or whether meds would help etc? | ADHD |
23 year old male here been diagnosed since 8 years old and never reacted well to any of the medications we tried back then just mentioning in case that might have somthing to do with it. So for the past few years I've noticed that I only really need 4 hours of sleep at night. I've done tests where I've gone extended periods of time sleeping at different intervals of 2,4,6,8 and 10 and I can honestly say I'm at most mentally clear and motivated and least groggy and distracted when I get a steady 4 hours of sleep every night and any more and I get exponentially worse with 10 hours a night being unbearable for longer than a month, beyond that I was just too exhausted. It seems the more sleep I get the more tired I wake up and less able to actually do anythingand this includes naps I don't ever really need one and when I do and allow myself to take one I find it worsens my mental state. I'm 6'0 180 lbs and work out 1-3 hours a day 5 days a week so I don't feel I'm suffering physically from the lack of supposedly needed sleep and I have no base line for were my mental state is supposed to be because for all I can remember I've never been able to focus on anything longer than 5 mins and like I mentioned before my mental state seems to worsen with the more sleep I get. Just wondering if anyone else here can relate to that. I've noticed that I can relate to alot of the traits I've seen exhibited on this sub. I'm by no means claiming that I need no sleep as I've tried 2 hours a night and was physically exhausted more than anything else so I do need the 4 hours just not sure as to why and why not the last 4 I'm told I need. | ADHD |
I am in a good mood, but the intrusive thoughts are on my mind, but they don't really cause me anxiety or anything. So am I feeling better maybe? I just don't wanna ruminate on it. Because I started being in a good mood while the thoughts were there.
This is probably just a stupid question and yeah now I'm probably asking for reassurance, but I just wanna be able to sleep later and I have a test tomorrow so uhm yeah.
I was just thinking of past memories while the intrusive thoughts were there so I got happy and then of course started ruminating.
Idk this is probably just really stupid and me being paranoid because I dont feel scared or worried. | OCD |
(Sigh) I used to be homophobic. I thought it was weird, gross, and wrong and I justified how I felt about it because the bible said so.
I was stupid. I was a stupid dumb teenager who was close-minded and saw the world in black and white. Homosexuality wasn't natural and it was wrong.
I hurt a real close friend who had a lesbian sister once. We made up but...I legit didn't understand what I did wrong. That's how bad I was...
....But one of the worst times was when I was watching a let's play of Dragon Age 2. During one part it looked like the player was going to engage in a lesbian romance...I left a comment expressing my relief when he didn't.
Someone asked, "Why are you relieved?"
I told them point-blank that homosexuality was wrong and the bible said so.
The guy told me he was Christian and was gay but he would respect my opinion because he didn't want to start something.
That rocked my world honestly. I didn't know how to respond so I didn't.
That was 7 years ago...I've done a lot of growing up since then... and I hate the fact I thought that way. I hate the fact I thought I could justify my thoughts with the bible, I hate the fact I never realized you could be Christian and gay and I hate the fact I said all that stuff.
Even though it's been 7 years I recently sent an apology to the guy who replied to my video comment but I don't think I'll ever be able to properly apologize to my friend(We lost contact years ago) and I hate the fact I can't do so.
I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry to all the Homosexual people in the world. I'm sorry I had hateful beliefs... Please don't attack me... I just want to get all this out of me so I can start to have peace with myself...
Update: The guy who I insulted online forgave me even though it's been 7 years. :) | aspergers |
Hey guys, I noticed i do this weird ocd thing that i can’t seem to find any info about. I would describe it as a micro action, where i do a slight movement with my body, hand gesture, etc, and then place a meaning to it during or after the action. Examples:
- I twitched my thumb when I saw this guy because i thought he was attractive.
-I moved my head slightly closer towards this person because i wanted to hurt them
etc etc…
sometimes the motion is related to the thought, sometimes it’s not. I’ll often find myself replaying the moment over and over again trying to figure out if the action i did meant anything. Anyone else ever have this problem? | OCD |
I ask you: do you ever feel that ocd doesn’t let you be happy at all? Like you are happy about one thing and ocd finds 100000 ways ,and very believable evidence of bad things that could happen cause of this thing you are happy about,or generally…
…and then you are just anxious and terrified and end up regretting doing something that made you happy ? It feels like I don’t deserve happiness and I shouldn’t enjoy anything | OCD |
Hi. My son (12) has Aspergers, adhd and a learning disability. when he was younger it was recommended that we enroll him in social skills groups. We did. Many. And he did not always like them. So his last one was a few years ago. He really hated them as he got older and would not participate.
I am lost and desperate. It’s heartbreaking.he wants friends but has none. Every time it looks promising, something goes wrong. He goes to a new school that specializes in learning disabilities. Many of the kids also have adhd and Aspergers also. I am praying he will connect with someone. This new school has recommended he do some social skills group over the summer. Obviously they have observed his struggles.
My question to all the experts: do social skills groups help at all? If not, how can I help him? I was thinking of trying to get him into D&D because he loves Harry Potter, Minecraft and likes to make up his own games related to these. (Part of the friend problem!) I thought D&D would interest him and provide a structured game that is also social. And omg maybe he would make some friends. He is not interested in sports.
Thank you, Reddit. I know you can help. | aspergers |
Im not scared of haunted houses. I used to be as a child, mostly because I was a child, but as of the last few years, I’ve actually really liked them.
It’s not hard to look past the experience and realize that they’re real people with real jobs that they enjoy doing, and that it’s like theatre. Not real and meant to amuse. I always wondered why people who were actually legit scared of haunted house, ever went to them if they genuinely didn’t like them.
I don’t know if it’s a product of autism that I can’t “take the joke and i know that the scare actors cannot touch me and are perfectly within their range of ability, screaming and whatever”, but i find it a nice way to cool yourself and not be so scared.
Only downside: strobe lights. Disorienting and over stimulating. | aspergers |
A little back story about my trauma
I was in this job last year at a mid-west based public company. The team was very non-diverse and I had such a terrible time putting up with discrimination. We all go to work hoping to create an impact while building relationships with the people we work with. I had similar intentions. Unfortunately, my experience at my last job turned out very different. I was treated differently than my peers on the team. I did not have access to the same resources, opportunities, or a platform to communicate and showcase the impact I was creating with my team. Being a part of a non-diverse team compounded with a selective lack of top-down information started eroding my confidence. It became incredibly hard for me to keep my team motivated under those circumstances and continue staying motivated myself in the face of the treatment I was extended. I wanted to leave the job but because of my personal circumstances, that decision would have had severe financial and other consequences.
I continued to push myself to stay motivated while I worked on looking for an opportunity externally. What I did not anticipate was the physical and mental toll this experience exerted on me while I tried to navigate the awful situation I was caught in. I struggled with severe anxiety, frequent panic attacks, racing heart, lack of appetite, weight loss, and acute migraines. I finished my time at this horrible job end of last year but I ended up dealing with trauma long after my time with this job was over.
As I continue my journey to work through the trauma, the pain has become progressively less intense. I have been looking for another job for a long time and even though I do not talk about the trauma I endured in interviews, I believe some of that surfaces as "bad vibes" while I am interviewing. I think this has significantly impacted my chances of converting a job opportunity. I reached out to a friend for advice and he suggested I get some coaching from a life-coach he had come to know. I am open to anything that might be helpful so decided to speak with this life coach. I shared what I had been through briefly and some of her initial advice to me was:
1. I sense this tall wall of barbed wire around you that tell me "stay the fuck out"
2. "Get over it!"
3. "Get back in the driver seat and take control of your life"
While I agree in principle with her comments and advice, it got me thinking that asking someone struggling with trauma to "get over it" is simply implying that the person is enjoying the misery they are in and wants to stay that way. And I want to say only 1 thing - I absolutely do not enjoy this situation or misery. I have worked hard with my therapist to not feel the way I do but processing trauma is a long-game.
​
TL;DR: Life coach tells me to "get over my trauma". Why is there such an acute lack of awareness and empathy for people struggling with mental health challenges? | ptsd |
I have been having this vivid memory of me doing something awful. The thought that i “did” it is lingering with me constantly. There’s a silver of reason that i did not do it but the memory is just so so vivid in my head at this point i can’t tell if it’s real or not. I’m unable to get over this and i’m at my wits end. | OCD |
I fail at everything i do i have no talents no achievements i dont want to exist i cant kill myself because im scared i will hurt my parents if i die and i will hurt them if i live im just a burden to them i just want to be deleted from life and everyones minds | depression |
I was heavily fucked up by ocd in the past, but somehow I manage to recover from it surprisingly quickly
I feel kind of disconnected from the concept of having ocd because it used to be so much worse, and I still have obsessions, very much less than before but still every day
And I know that ocd can’t be cured, but you can at the very least try to recover, but it makes me feel weird that it was such a huge part of my life and now I sometimes even forget I once had it | OCD |
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8/9 and have struggled with every medication I've ever taken to try to help me with work/functioning like a normal person. Eventually, I just stop taking the medication until my life falls apart and I turn to a new medication, hopefully, a new solution.
My doc has now prescribed me Vyvanse, and I really want it to work, and so am turning to the internet to see if there's anything I can do on my end to not succumb to the side effects. I thought it couldn't hurt to reach out to y'all to see if you guys have any insider tips or tricks for feeling more 'normal' and less like an irritable, dry-mouthed, dizzy robot. Appreciate any suggestions! | ADHD |
Today is Friday, and it caps off a rough week for me. I'm not going to go into details, except that the one constant I felt this week was loneliness. I have a wife and child. They are amazing, but trauma can be so isolating. I'm starting to come out of this particular cloud, so I thought I'd pay things forward.
Tell me what hurts, and I'll tell you why you deserve love. | ptsd |
One of my obsessions is with food. I essentially have developed this fear of ingesting anything because I think I could have an allergic or deadly reaction. This has lead to me turning down food, or questioning every ingredient in a food item not prepared by myself. I will also “test” food by eating a bit, making sure I don’t have a reaction and then eating the rest. I have no known food allergies.
Ive gotten a little better at facing my fear and eating foods I’m scared of, but this is miserable. Food was once a joy and it is also a necessity. This has lead to panic attacks and even going hungry when I wanted to eat. I do often get sore throats after eating, but I think it’s acid reflux, but my brain won’t be rational. How can I cope with this? | OCD |
I hate the holidays. I thought this year would be better but it’s not. Everyone has some good news to bring but me. I would really just like to run into traffic right now but I’m in a rural area so that’s not exactly possible. :(
I do hope everyone is enjoying their day today though. | depression |
I feel like I've learned to keep my description of my experience with ADHD to myself even if I'm going through an extra tough time with it because it often goes something like this:
*Me:* I have a really hard time staying fully present in conversations and I often immediately forget things if someone verbally tells me something. It's been super frustrating in my professional and personal life lately - it makes me feel dumb and like a bad partner.
or
I've been really struggling to start any of my projects - it's just feels impossible to initiate tasks that I know I need to get done.
*Friend*: Oh I totally hear you, I'm the exact same way!
or
Wow that sounds like me, maybe I have ADHD, ha!
​
To be fair, maybe they *do* actually have undiagnosed ADHD...but these types of responses mostly just feels like my experience is invalid. I feel like I can't accurately convey the magnitude of certain struggles for comparison, so it often leaves me questioning myself (even though I have been diagnosed with ADHD).
can anyone else relate? | ADHD |
I naturally have a very strong relationship with the objective truth and because of that I automatically assume that most of the time everything that is said by other people is the truth. Related to that, I also have an extremely hard time to distinguish between someone saying the genuine truth and not telling the full truth in order to create a specific impression, hide something uncomfortable, uphold a certain picture of himself or something, etc. What other people might brush away as unimportant and an unimportant lie can really bother me, even if it's (like most of the time) not at all meant to be harmful or even meant in a positive way from the viewpoint of that person.
This brings me to my main question of the post: How common is it actually for people to do this? I know for certain that people sometimes do it and that it varies from person to person, but **how** common is it actually in our society? I have basically no or very little internal guideline to assess this. Maybe someone with more experience in life can help me out with this.
*PS: Sorry if this post comes across as badly written or something like this, I'm really tired at the time of writing this post and for this and other reasons can't really concentrate at all right now. But because of some current events in my life, this question is really bothering me at this point.* | aspergers |
Long story short: despite our effords one of my cockatiels died and another one got lost because I trusted her too much.
Now I have only one cockatiel left and I'm really paranoid about her well being.
I just check and check and check everything no matter how tired I am, no matter if I'm buisy.
Are the windows locked? Is my cat with her in the room? Is the cage locked? Is she plucking? Did I harm her by accident? Is she sick? Can she sleep well? Is she cold? Did I turn off the gas so she won't die in a house fire or suffocate? Is she exposed to germs from wild birds?
I have to check these things multiple times even if there's no way she's in danger. Otherwise I'd get anxious or feel guilty.
Same with Ron, the missing birdo. I'm forced to check again and again all over the internet for "found bird" posts. If I feel like I wasn't paying enough attention I have to do that again. And again... And again.. Otherwise I'd feel guilty.
I keep forcing myself to walk in places I know she's not in no matter if I'm tired or if it's pointless. For example: I made myself believe she must be in the bushes but when she wasn't there I was forced to check the other bush and another bush. What stopped me from checking yet another bush was my fear of darkness.. There was no way she could have been there, birds don't sit on the ground for no reason, especially at night. | OCD |
Yesterday was terrifying and exciting at the same time for me. It was the first time I handled a firearm since the day I got PTSD, almost 4 1/2 years ago. A friend of mine just bought a handgun and I volunteered to be his shooting coach. I've always loved shooting, but with my history, I was hesitant to tag along and shoot.
For the first time in a long time, I was able to forget everything and just focus on something right in front of me, putting lead down range and putting holes in the target.
My friend and I plan on going to the range more so that he can get more trigger time and get more comfortable with his new gun. But I promised myself and more importantly, my wife that until I was farther along on my road to recovery, I would never go to the range alone.
Baby steps are key, and yesterday was a very big baby step for me. | ptsd |
Every single one I’ve met has this weird vendetta against negative emotions. I cry when I need it. I get upset when I believe it’s my right to be upset. I grieve because I have every reason to. I get mad when I feel like I need to express an emotion like it, to get my point across.
Allistic people always say “I don’t know why you’re upset” or “you shouldn’t be so mad right now, calm down!” or “Im not sad, why are you?” And it’s all dumb.
People can’t be sad? They just can’t? They can’t be scared? They can’t be bored, or tired, or mad, or frustrated?
Can an allistic person explain this. | aspergers |
My problem is that whenever i go to job and will start soon in person classes I am
Afraid I will meet someone else and this is the last thing I want in my life .. all I want is my BF and I don’t wanna meet anyone else .. I am afraid I will find someone else cute and I don’t want to I am afraid of going with things in life in case it happens and also I get a lot of intrusive thoughts with this like “ I will meet boys” like “ what if I find a boy” and they make me anxious and I feel they come out of nowhere and I can’t get over them for nearly few days especially when I experience my PMS before period which naturally makes ocd worse... obviously . 🥺 I just don’t know how can I deal with this I feel guilty for even those thoughts coming in to my head but I don’t want that to happen . Is that intrusive thoughts or something I want ? | OCD |
I sometimes get this sudden eerie, disconnected feeling (kinda hard to explain) when I’m taking to someone—especially if I get very connected to them in a conversation. In my mind it’s like, “What just happened, I just felt so comfortable/close to this person?”.
It’s like a switch, for no obvious reason at all. The only thing I can compare it to is the feeling when I had my first sleepover at 7 and desperately wanted to go home.
Can anyone relate? | aspergers |
I was diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago. I’m in the process of figuring out medication and dosage. I’ve tried Concerta, Adderall, and now I’m on Vyvanse. My anxiety is spiking and I’m having panic attacks. The more digging I do into my anxiety the more connections I’m seeing to OCD. I have misophonia, but I’m seeing other links.
I’m now so curious about my brain and am on the hunt for resources to better understand everything. I will obvi talk with my doctor, but thought it would check in here too. | OCD |
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