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To all people having fun with fireworks, go screw a cactus. I know that for most people fireworks are harmless fun but for some of us they're just complete hell. Between hearing that isn't normal, PTSD that makes me jump at loud noises, and a dog who can't stand them either, tonight will be nothing but a special kind of torture.
I'm just venting but I really wish someone could make it stop. | ptsd |
Me against the world everytime. Everday. :) No one is on my side, and everything is my fault. All good ofcourse. I'm always wrong anyways right. It's my fault it's my fault it's my fault it's my fault. | depression |
Sometimes I get random words stuck in my head and I feel the urge to immediately write them down. Nothing bad or anything will happen if I don’t write them down. It’s just the urge that is all consuming. | OCD |
My first panic attack was on Thanksgiving in 2007 after my rapist started stalking me. I was preparing a dish his mother taught me when I started shaking.
My panic disorder got worse when I was in grad school after I was retraumatized about the rapes, in particular at the orientation. I was also emotionally abused about a friend's suicide they should not have known about.
A language teacher followed me to a store I was in and started yelling at me, causing a panic attack in public. An employee gave me water, but the damage was done.
I think anyone followed at stores would become paranoid and agoraphobic. I will never understand abusive people and I definitely do not understand abusive people who want to cause further mental harm by gaslighting these experiences. | ptsd |
So for some reason all my teachers have decided that this was the year of the group projects. I have like five different grup assignments and for four of them we have to send a different part to the teacher every couple of weeks. This situation absolitly sucks for me. I am not close to anyone I have been paired with (nor anyone in my classroom tbh) and I can't keep up with the work. I can't do anything at all.
One of this grup projects is supposed to be super long, like more than a hundred pages in total, and so far I have done only two while my partner has writren more than 30. I know it will be impossible for me to do enough so I'm going to ask my teacher to pair my partner with another group because I don't want him to fail because of me nor do I want him to have to do all the work. I will tel him I will do whatever I can and he can just give me the mark he deems apropiate (that's just fancy talk for "fail me, I'll try next year).
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I have been going to therapy for like three months now (in mid summer I got relly drunk and apparently started telling my friends I was gonna kill ms) and since day one I am just trying to build up the courage to ask her to send me to a psychiatrist. I don't feel comfortable talking about anything that worries me with anyone (including my therapist) so it's just been weeks of getting worse and worse reaults in school and getting my classmates kinda angry with me because I am not doing my work and it is just getting worse and I feel like I haven't truly rested for a long time. I started thinking again about killing ms daily and I feel like I am going to if I can't solve all of this. My bigest fear is getting medication just to find out it doesen't work for me. I cant keep like this. The only times I'm not miserable is when I'm with my friends but lately I've been avoiding them and I don't even know why..
Srry if this was too long.
Also srry if there are weird sentences or mistakes i'm not a native speaker. | ADHD |
Has anyone ever experienced imposter syndrome ?
Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. 'Imposters' suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence. | aspergers |
Long time lurker and first time poster. Was diagnosed ADHD in my teens and at the time (Mid 90s) prescribed Adderall (Amphetamine and Dextroamphetamine 10 mg) which helped some but I found it really opened the door to drug and alcohol consumption. It was the first time I felt high. I’ve looked for scholarly articles about medications as a gateway drug (but not found much) and wanted to see if anyone in this community had a similar experience. | ADHD |
every morning i wakeup and feel like "oh, im me" and it feels new and odd and unpleasant. i dont know why this is an emotion i experience because who else would i wake up as? but i just feel so disconnected to my self and overwhelmed and i dont know..like "ah, i exist and there is this large large mountain of things i, the person who is me, has to deal with and absolutely has no choice but to deal with" and it feels unpleasant and surreal every single time. all i want is to have my own house or apartment or something n enough money that i can be free to hide in my own house n heal n take my time. just feel like the best metaphor is im drivin a janky car with 2 wheels missing and half a steering wheel and no turn signals but somehow im supposed to use this car to drive a thousand miles which just seems like such preposterous bullshit and completely unlikely that one would ever accomplish such a feat. im fucking tired and i jus wanna rest for a long time cuz how am i supposed to fix all this shit if im so exhausted but how am i supposed to have the freedom to rest the way i need to if i dont fix all this shit first and get my own house n financial freedom first?
TLDR: In conclusion, im fucked, everythings fucked, and also everything is fucked. (everything's fucked) | ptsd |
Edit: I do work with a wonderful therapist on a weekly basis.
Does anyone else feel chronically burnt out? Literally me for as long as I can remember.
I gave myself permission to take a Mental Health Day yesterday and today. My boss is thankfully understanding. But when I told him I was struggling and had a lot going on, he said, “I can tell.” The guilt just washed over me. I’m trying my best, but it never feels good enough. And I am really struggling right now. I feel guilty for taking these days off. But I’m so burnt out. I literally feel perpetually burnt out. Life is just exhausting. I have always found life exhausting, even as a kid. Childhood trauma and Autism Spectrum Disorder will do that to you, I guess. But I want to be a normal adult who can do the thing. I hate feeling incompetent and pathetic. And the only person who makes me feel incompetent and pathetic is me. Masking is exhausting. Work always feels so overwhelming. Life always feels overwhelming. Being alive is just exhausting.
I just need a break. I feel like I always need a break. But even when I give myself permission to take a break, my inner critic takes over and I am so hard on myself. I make myself believe I don’t really deserve the break and convince myself that my work has been shit lately if my boss said he could tell I’m struggling. Sigh. Living with mental illness is so frustrating. It never goes away and not everyone understands that. Being on the spectrum makes everything harder for me.
Yesterday my husband told me how proud he is of me. I really needed to hear that and it meant the world to me. I need to know that I am doing the best I can. He is the one who urged me to take a Mental Health Day. So I napped pretty much all day yesterday. I finally forced myself to get up in the late afternoon to shower and made myself eat some chicken noodle soup while listening to spooky podcasts. I opened the windows to let the cool fall air in and listen to the rain and then watched cartoons with my husband before bed. My wounded inner child needed that. Today I think I will do the same for her. For us. At least it is my favorite time of year. 🖤🧡 | aspergers |
I’m (22f) not officially diagnosed yet, I’m on a horribly long waitlist. So I’m not medicated either and I don’t have any tools to help with my ADHD.
I work nightshifts rn and ever since I woke up this afternoon I’ve been in such a bad mood. Snappy, impatient etc. Like button smashing and nearly throwing the remote because the TV was being too slow. Ripping the garbage bag completely because it didn’t do as I wanted.
On my shift last night I also had thoughts get kind of stuck? Like I was listening to music and suddenly it felt really loud so my mind just went “turnItDownTurnItDownTurnItDownTurnItDown.” Until I actually did. It was honestly kind of scary cause I couldn’t stop it.
I don’t know why and I don’t know what I need to do. I work a lot. Like 9 hours at night and then a side job at home. I can’t exactly stop working though. I can just tell it’s hurting my mom so in turn I feel even worse.
Any advice? | ADHD |
I'm just venting cause I'm pissed as hell right now. Years of suspecting I was autistic, I finally got an appointment scheduled, which was gonna occur this Monday. I was so damn excited for it. So unbelievably excited to finally figure out how my brain works.
But guess what my body decides to do?
After damn near two years of having not even a sniffle, I have caught something. Sore throat, congested to hell and back, tired as shit. Not sure if covid or not, I'm vaccinated but I know that doesn't mean I can't catch it. Gonna get tested in the next day or so to be sure. But even if it is run of the mill unwell. I dont think I'll be back and at them by Monday.
So. Probably gonna have to fucking reschedule. I waited three months for this appointment and if I need to wait another three months I'm going to be devastated. | aspergers |
Idk if this is adhd related but oh well. I should add some context that my school has longer breaks and I'm currently at the end of a 2 week fall break.
I was talking to a bunch of different people online over the past couple days and now I can't respond to any of them or even close friends. For a bit today I was just watching youtube videos and completely ignoring everything and everyone else. I feel totally drained and I'm dreading going back to school. I'll have to be surrounded by tons of people for 8 hours. The thought of it is making me sick and giving me a headache (I mean that completely genuinely, I feel like I'm going to throw up right now). Tomorrow I'll be forced to go to church by my parents so I don't even have another day to relax and attempt to recharge. I love my friends at school, but currently I never want speak to them again. I have no clue what to do. | ADHD |
Little about me. (32m ptsd from childhood and military) I have a good life. A son who is 1 month and a wife who loves me.
So I go to therapy. I take my meds. (That’s been going on for about two years now)
But one thing that still hasn’t got better is my mood sexual. I am a dude... and I am never in the mood to have sex. Is this a common problem and does anyone have any advice? | ptsd |
I’ve been meaning to do this for weeks, probably shouldn’t have come off them at all last July. But anyway, I got an appointment today and my doctor was so helpful, listened to me and gave me options then accepted what I wanted. I’m just so grateful/happy? | depression |
I was prescribed Strattera 40mg this week and I started it on Wednesday. I've been taking it at the beginning of the day, but the side effects are pretty killer. I am nauseous, insanely tired, and have heart burn. I work evenings and have my son during the day, so it's pretty difficult for me to have all these side effects.
I've read a few threads where people take it at night to mitigate side effects, but wasn't sure about the effectiveness for in the evening when I'm working if I take it before bed? I don't really even know, I don't see any benefit to the medication yet. | ADHD |
Long story short: I worked at a high-stress job 10 years ago. The boss was a real ghetto-ass tyrant. Micromanagement, screaming, yelling, splitting hairs, totally confrontational, and had zero anger management skills(or technical skills). He didn't even follow his own strict standards. Scrums were an absolute comedy of errors. He had no place in IT. He was totally in over his head having 1 year of experience in the field, where I had quite a bit more.
I'm half tempted to message him and just tell him off. With Covid 19 and perhaps a bit of not eating much, I'm tempted to just tell him off all these years later on how much of an asshole he was. He managed just me and one other person. That other person he managed also was micromanaged, treated like a child. Once that other person left for another job, we were both laid off. The place went out of business(er, "merged") 2 years later. The office was closed.
I can't get that fucking hothead out of my head. It is quite difficult to let go of the past.
Would unloading him on a LinkedIn connection request give me any sort of closure? I mean, I somehow got over all the stupid shit in high school(I'm 44 now), but the amount of stress and abuse for a job that was 20 months long seemed to have the same amount of weight.
I remember an ex apologized to me 25 years later on Facebook on how some relationship issues we had back when we were teenagers. Wonder if this would be doing the same thing, but really telling him how he was. | ptsd |
I’m 28 years old and I had surgery due to not being able to pee correctly due to a blockage so I was going to the bathroom maybe 20 times a day due to not being able to empty properly after my surgery I can hold my urine for hours and only go 5 times a day to pee but that’s the issue now I have this anxiety/ocd that I have to only go 5 times a day to urinate that if I got more than 5 maybe even 6 that It is because I most likely have more blockage again and this is really starting to wear on me I’ll wake up needing to pee in the morning and hold it till 10 than I’ll go at 2 than 7 than 11 than 1 am before bed and it’s like this non stop. | OCD |
Hi all. I got prescribed Concerta this year and it was working great. The pharmacist called me for my most recent batch and asked if I wanted to try the generic. Generic is usually the same thing just less money so I said screw it why not.
I don't know if it's just the time of year or anything else, but they don't seem to work as well.
Did anyone else experience this same issue? Is it maybe just in my head? Should I talk to my doctor? | ADHD |
Just listing all the random stereotypes and misconceptions people have.
I have lived my whole life with ADHD, and I've often believed and internalized these stereotypes myself. I used to believe that everything was just me failing at doing anything right. Thinking I was both really smart and really lazy at the same time. Why does it sometimes take a week for me to bring the trash bin in? Why do I fail to do the math homework until the night before? Why didn't I take notes? I'm just a lazy failure....et cetera.
I would always overcompensate by trying way harder than anyone. That's the only reason I even graduated with a CS degree: I took 10 years to get it and retook calculus 1 about 4 times, discrete math 3 times ,and linear algebra 3 times. I pushed and begged the cs department to let me into the major even though grades kept slipping and I went on academic probation twice.
I overcompensate at work. I spend 10 hours doing what takes most people 6 hours. I struggle with sustainaned attention on things like doc writing or complex thought (like software architecture).
I overcompensate in dating: I try to be the best possible date ever....and am paranoid about screwing up. Dating is the one place where "try harder" just doesn't work unfortunately.
Anyways all those stereotypes was what I was fighting Everytime I would overcompensate. I'd believe I'm just a failure of a human... because of these negative or dismissive stereotypes.
I wonder if Hollywood stopped highlighting the stereotypes of ADHD and started treating it seriously, if we might be taken more seriously. I've seen that happen with autism over the years. People used to be kind of dismissive of autism if someone was "high functioning". But now people are a little more understanding of what someone on the spectrum experiences. Netflix shows like "Atypical" have done a lot of good for "humanizing" ASD.
I wish Netflix would do the same for ADHD. | ADHD |
I have come to wonder if I have PTSD but from events that took place a long time ago. Like when I was a teenager (15-19yo) I am now about to turn 52. I know I should see a professional..but I am home couch-bond today b/c I did not sleep again last night due to pain from my peripheral nephropathy and am unable to do much else ...so surfing has brought me here.
I am trying to find answers for my intractable peripheral nephropathy, RLS and insomnia. This is why I started considering PTSD.
Briefly here is why I wonder about PTSD: I had a really messed up childhood. I was out of the house at 15, ended up living on the streets addicted to heroine for awhile and saw things no kid should see (now that I have kids I really recognize this). Oh and my older brother, who I was with through some of this died several years ago from HIV. I have always played down my experience somewhat like pointing out that a lot of people had it much worse than me or emphasizing what a "wild" childhood I had, etc. Maybe that is some way of remaining on-guard.
Is it possible I would be suffering all this years later? | ptsd |
I have a 7yr old boy with Adhd. He is intelligent, loving and has a heart of gold.
He started having issues in school last year so we started him on Intuniv(didn’t help). Played around with Focalin until we found what worked for him which was a 5mg short acting pill in the morning and then again shortly after lunch. This helped him focus during school and didn’t affect his sleep or appetite. This stopped being effective a couple months ago. We tried combo therapy with Intuniv as well as the extended release but he then couldn’t sleep at night and started sleep walking.
We’re now on Vyvanse which has helped, but it’s really affecting his sleep. Has a very hard time falling asleep and often wakes up at 4-5 am.
Has anyone had similar experiences or have suggestions? Without the medication he is terribly impulsive, angry and absolutely can’t hold any focus. We are in constant communication with his pediatrician and his psychologist. I’m just trying to do my best by him and get him something that works well for him. | ADHD |
Hi i diagnosied major depression 3 years ago, since then everything in my life has changed.
I got bullied elementary school and i felt like im worthless, i dont deserve anything, i dont want to do somethig, dont wanna go out and all i want is just sleeping. I went to the psychiatrist twice and the first doctor gave me a normal antidepressant and i take them regularly then i went another doctor and he gave me very strong antidepressant because i had nightmares almost every night. I felt dizzy i was always sleepy and numb. I took them almost 1 year and when i saw nightmares again doctor give me very very strong and i dont know other contries but in my country this drug only given by red recipe and its very strong. I dont want to take it because it only made me numb and it didnt change the way i feel (worthless). Day by day i felt numb and acting like a clown because i dont want to make people worried about me, i cant say my suicide attemps or how i really wanna die. Whenever i tried it i scared that and shut up. I opened this feeling only one people and they were very worried about me and I felt like I was a burden to people. So i stayed quiet again and again. Then my mom realizes and she want me to cut off the drugs and stay with her. And i chose my moms side. I quit the drugs and i tried new hobbies. I tried not to think about suicide and i fooled myself. Because of my depressive and overthink behaviour my body became weak. Whenever i feel sad i felt like im gonna vomit and al i want is sleeping. Nowdays i have a big issue and i cant explain my body its okay, my body hurts, my organs are weird and i feel like im in a big dark hole again. I felt like this so many times but i never felt like this shit before. This issue is a problem that i cant fix it but im trying. I want to live but sometimes i felt like im just fooling myself i care about my family and im really trying. Wish me the best, i dont want make you guys worried or feel bad about me just wanna explain myself and feel satisfied.
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The end:
I said myself these days are temporary and im living a good life and i want to see other days. Every bad day has a good days behind it i just have to wait. this is how i amuse myself. Thanks for reading | depression |
So my OCD manifests in a lot of ways, but one of the biggest things is my fear of jinxing something. If I’m watching a Tv show and they mention something I don’t like, or anyone says anything I don’t like, or I even have a thought that I don’t like, I have to knock on wood. It’s more than classic superstition, I mean if someone even says the word death I have to knock on wood. And the knocking has increased from 4 knocks to 10 knocks. I’ve been trying to curb it but I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? | OCD |
Once covid hit I was laid off and made a transition from auto body to industrial painting. I became the lead painter in a new paint department for a large construction company. I felt stable for a time, although I was learning a job outside my comfort zone. I knew I needed to get back into my psychologist. I'd started a great relationship with her prior to this job but once I had my first difficult EMDR session I stop Ed going for several months.
Once I started going again I became very committed to seeing the process through, the bodily feelings, suppressed memories, and emotions were ground breaking for me. Then the trouble at work started.
I've noticed that my ability to cope with stressors at work has gone through the floor. I've become paranoid about consequences of me missing minor tasks that I haven't even missed yet. I'm constantly anxious and on edge. I'm having trouble keeping off the nicotine and cafiene even though I know it makes thinks worse. Its like I'm on auto pilot all day always feeling like I'm not doing enough even if I'm perfectly on schedule.
At home I feel similar but not as bad, although I know I should be giving my daughter more attention. I'm finding it hard to feel connected to her and lack energy for my personal life.
I guess I'm just looking for support or something. I think I'll stay committed to the therapy but it's definitely opened up a can of fucking worms. | ptsd |
Hey there. Long time lurker, first time poster.
My journey started earlier this year. I had no idea I wasn’t “normal” until I became 26. I’ve been prescribed Prozac (40mg), Wellbutrin (150mg), and Propranolol (10mg) for my OCD and have been taking the medications since around February. I’ve always been concerned though because from what I’ve read, none of these medications are for OCD (an anxiety disorder).
This all started because I was constantly worried, not depressed, but my prescriber insists Prozac is known to help OCD and bupropion is supposed to bring back the energy Prozac can take away. However they are considered antidepressants-not anxiety medications.
Prozac alone made me feel like I had ADHD and couldn’t focus on anything but obsessive thoughts. At the same time, taking it alone made me drowsy, but significantly decreased the “checking” part of my OCD. It did nothing for the obsessive thoughts. Wellbutrin has given me back the energy Prozac took away and has helped me actually focus on work at work. That causes me to snap out of it whenever my brain decides to trail off and obsess about nonsense. Propranolol is what I like to call my panic button (or literally a chill pill lol).
Has alone else been prescribed Prozac and Wellbutrin? It boggles my mind that they are complete opposites on paper, but I’ve been instructed to take both of them.
Is there anyone else prescribed antidepressants for their OCD?
I guess I’m looking reassurance. | OCD |
Hi [**r/ADHD**](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/)**!**
A few months ago I got diagnosed with ADHD (more ADD). I’m 22 now and have been fatigued and unable to concentrate for a long time. The diagnosis finally makes some sense and explains a lot of personal traits, helps being a bit less hard on myself because I understand it better.
I have tried Ritalin for a short while but the side effects made it not worth it. Quickly switched over to Dexamphetamine, works better. Initially it made the fatigue worse but now its a bit better. I started with 5mg and the doc upped it to 7.5mg and said I could experiment a bit. I found that a low dose of 2.5mg every 3/4 hours or so works best. It gives me a bit of a push to get started faster. But it doesn't really seem to calm my mind when I’m on it. Still have racing thoughts but I guess a little more organised in general (losing my keys less, slightly better memory, perhaps less fatigue as well). At 5/7.5mg I'm somewhat efficient but mostly just stressed out, on edge and just feel stimulated instead of calm. I have only been on Dex for 1.5 months.
But its really hard for me to get a clear image of the effects. My fatigue and brain fog fluctuates a lot. I usually have a couple of weeks of feeling less great, more fatigue, more stressed, more brain fog. And the once in a while I get a trigger like sleeping badly and getting a bit of an adrenaline rush the next day. This sometimes launches me into a short while of feeling great. More confidence, less stressed, a bit more focused. But after a few days or weeks I sort of crash again.
So right now I don’t know if I feel better because of the Dex or that its just placebo and I would have felt better anyways. Thinking about this even makes me doubt my diagnosis. Especially because my psychiatrist called it a 'temporary diagnosis', not entirely sure what that means. I have been pretty desperate about finding something that improves my fatigue and I'm afraid that I just cling to something that might help and believe it too much so it becomes placebo.
But it does feel a little different this time, I have felt a bit more balanced recently (2/3 weeks). I feel energized but less on edge, even when the Dex has worn of for hours (example last dose at 4pm, still feel good at midnight).
So my question is could it be that the Dexamphetamine sort of balances out my brain, even when its worn off? I know it takes your body some time to get used to it, is this why it didn't work in the beginning and made me tired, but now its finally doing its job and my body is getting used to it?
Btw I will ask my psychiatrist about this but he is on vacation for a few weeks... He also doesn't pay as much close attention as I might like about questions like this so thats why I'm asking it here.
TLDR: can Dexamphetamine have lasting positive effects on energy, focus and anxiety after its worn off? How do I know if its working properly?
Thanks! | ADHD |
Does anyone else feel the 2 are different?
I feel like when I have a panic attack from just anxiety about something that I just feel overly anxious and shakey. Of course lots of anxious thoughts as well
But when I have a panic attacked caused by OCD I feel like the world is ending and I dissociate like there's no tomorrow. I feel like I'm going insane from it tbh | OCD |
I have been trying to celebrate my successes. Usually at the end of the day (if I didn't forget) and it went something like:
3 Seconds: Hey I did this thing finally today
10-30 minutes: but it did take me really long, and it was soo easy, and I didn't do it perfect, so does it even count. :(
Some app prompted me to really celebrate the things I do, to really feel it and to do it at the time I am doing them or right after. So right now I am doing victory dances for the things I do (yay I put the jar of mayo back into the fridge when I was done instead of leaving it out so long that I have to get rid of it....victory dance for me!)
It feels more like a victory and me being silly makes me laugh more then anything so it might be that. But I can imagine that in time I will no longer feel the dread of having to put it back and my brain can make the connection that it is a good feeling to put things back.
Wanted to share, perhaps someone else can use it as well to celebrate the steps that they make. | ADHD |
Just got over covid so I’ve been out of work for 2 weeks and my anxiety/depression of going back is ridiculous. Have a lot of other things going on in life too and it’s just so much. Like I’m pretty good at my job it’s just the whole concept of actually having to be there and getting back into it. | depression |
I'm required to take drug holidays but I've noticed since I have had a few days off work now and on the drug holiday that I am HIGHLY anxious. I'm thinking I have home chores to catch up with so I'll take my meds today. Maybe I don't understand what "drug holiday" means? For what it's worth I'm on stimulants. | ADHD |
After 5 months of avoiding the gym because of my hocd and tocd, I finally went today and I felt great ♥️ sending my best wishes to anyone facing this theme- I promise it gets better. | OCD |
I’m 21M and living at home. When I was younger age 7-13 I had major behavioral issues at school. I would get upset about something and act out, fight or flight. Anxiety would get the best of me. Tonight after getting a fight with my mother who laughed at me when she confronted me about having a boyfriend and me saying she’s homophobic. She reminded of all those times in school when she defended me. How do I get past the guilt and move on from those school days? | aspergers |
Universities are contributing to solve overpopulation by over-stressing their students with tons or work causing them to sucide. Pretty successful so far. | depression |
It really is. I hate it so much. It’s helping, so I do it, but I can’t believe I’m paying money weekly to torture myself for an hour.
I’m on my 4th week and it is just so intense. | OCD |
I’ve done things I thought would fix me. After years I finally got a therapist. I tried to do new things and work on myself and let go of things. Instead I find nothing but pain every day. Waking up feels worthless, I can’t win and at this point I don’t want to. I wish I could stop being a burden on everyone and just disappear from their memory and kill myself. I don’t see a future and I don’t want to try anymore. | depression |
So in addition to my extreme intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors, part of my OCD is what i call quiet organization. I’m a messy person, I’m not super organized in my room or car, but there are times and especially if its a tedious task that i will be so meticulous and detailed and it makes my brain so happy.
I work at a distillery and we tend to be slow during the weekdays so our manager will assign us side (mostly cleaning) tasks to do throughout the day. One of my tasks was to gut and cut a pumpkin for decoration and my other one was organizing drawers by the bar. They ordered drawer dividers and when they came in my heart skipped a beat i was over the moon. They usually assign me tedious tasks because of how much they make me happy. I also love puzzles so taking apart the drawers and reorganizing them however i wanted was icing on the cake.
Sometimes OCD comes in handy and sometimes (although rarely) can be satisfying. | OCD |
I'm feeling so empty, sad, unmotivated, lazy, and stupid. This day is just dragging on. I plan on going to the gym after work but it's really going to be a struggle just to get there. | depression |
I should bleach and dye my hair within the hour with this old ass bleach I have at the back of my cupboard. Yes I don't have enough hairdye but It absolutely CANNOT wait. I can't go to the salon tomorrow or anything I need to dye my hair right now.
I am obviously not a professional and i did a horrible job and i look like ass now. I regret dying my hair but I CANNOT dye it back black either.
I am crying so hard lmao | OCD |
A bit of a rant here…
I really want to work on losing weight, working out and be the best version of myself. However, I always feel like my exercise regime always reap no fruit because of all the stupid side effects my SSRI prescription gives that are cancelling out the benefits reaped. I am feeling damn frustrated because of the psychiatrists keep saying things like “oh you will get worse if you are off your meds” or “weigh the pros and cons. Would you rather be anxious or gain weight”.
I am really tired of psychiatrists playing down the side effects of psychiatric meds. Judging from my recovery journey so far it has done nothing but damage to my mental health by making me either have increased anxiety/mental breakdowns or transforming me into a soulless zombie in the day. And all these people do is to tell me to try out other meds. I am NOT a lab rat and the chemical imbalance theory, in reality, is not scientifically supported. It’s just that they have deals with big Pharma to keep us hooked up on these drugs. The attending psychiatrist just keeps downplaying my suffering and invalidating alternative medicines which are proven to help people with lesser side effects (eg. TCM, homeopathy, chiropractic)
Anyway, I’m be done ranting. It is really infuriating because no matter how hard I try to improve myself, it is not showing any positive result (aka not losing weight), and these doctors are all acting aloof from their ivory towers.
PS: this is based off my personal experience. It’s ok if meds helped you. I’m not invalidating your experiences. I’m just thinking if anyone could relate to mine, cuz I’m really jaded being trapped and suffocated in this mainstream healthcare system😔😔😔😞😞😞 | OCD |
Hi all. I just turned 40 years old and I am coming to the realization I probably have ADHD. My son was diagnosed about 4 years ago and in researching ADHD to help him, I started to realize a lot of the signs of it resonated for me personally. I know it’s hereditary so it’s very possible he got it from me (I’m also type 1 diabetic so I guess lesser of two evils here). I mentioned it to my doctor when I was there the other day and she said that a lot of people my age were never diagnosed and if I felt like it was interfering with my daily life she would prescribe me something. I’m coming here to learn from those who have experience with this, for both myself and my son. I look forward to reading, learning, and understanding.
Thanks. | ADHD |
Ever since I was a child, I sucked at math. I sucked, sucked at Math. I went to summer at the 6th grade because of Math. Now I’m in college studying political science because it barely has any math in it aside from one statistics class. I’m considering going on medication for preparing to get into Business School.
Did medication really help you with Math? | ADHD |
I’m so fucking tired of OCD I feel like it’s never going to go away. I have intrusive thoughts everyday and I fixate on something for days and it’s just hell. Lately it’s been me thinking I’m going to die and convincing myself it’s a gut feeling. Did anyone else go through this? | OCD |
As the title says, I am hungry. But I don't want to eat.
I could make a bowl of cereal, order a pizza, go out for pho, make some pasta or a salad... but I just don't want to. Pretty soon I am going to be having hunger pains, but there just isn't anything that I want to eat. Not even a handful of potato chips or anything.
Anyone else ever deal with this when they're depressed? What do you do? | depression |
I want to go to therapy but I have to ask first and I just feel like such a pussy for asking. I also don’t feel like the therapist can help that much. Should I ask? | OCD |
I just completed a 7 page midterm paper for one of my college classes and turned it in 6 HOURS EARLY!!
Past me was constantly late on almost every assignment, didn't matter what the class was, and often I would just figure out which ones I could not do at all and still pass the class. I've been in college off and on for about 4-5 years now. I just became a senior and sucked it up, took the loans I needed so that I could quit working and just finish my degree. Sometimes it makes me feel bad that I don't have the capacity to work and be a good student at the same time, but I've accepted this and am choosing to celebrate my little accomplishments.
Thanks for reading, just wanted to share with people who would understand | ADHD |
**Long text warning: TLDR at the bottom for the understandably bored, impatient souls! I've been there ;)**
I've had the best success with dexedrine for treating my ADHD. After trying absolutely *everything* under the sun, the dex has been best for my productivity, depression, anxiety, and fatigue.
My wonderful psych was able to work with me and fine tune the dosages and type. Adderall worked at first but shot my anxiety to the moon. Vyvanse wasnt covered. Ritalin had an unexpected paradoxal reaction and gave me brain fog/severe debilitating depression that took months to recover from after stopping.
The problem is when the dexedrine starts to wear off I get a sort of "rebound" of significantly worsened ADHD symptoms as it wears off in the evening. I'm on short acting dex at ten mg cause the lowest long acting dose kept me awake with insomnia.
I tried various blood pressure meds, (prazosin for example) but it only affected my body and didn't alleviate the mental effects. As a last resort we temporarily used GABAergic drugs to use in case it was unbearable or debilitating, but I couldn't stay on it for long as it's not meant for long term use.
I'm feeling very stuck and hopeless that I won't be able to take anything consistently that truly works for me..
I took the last remaining valium since my downswing tonight was bad enough that I couldnt do school work properly. I'm feeling back to stable and productive now. I know it won't last. But I don't have anything left and can't stick with using the benzos.
I feel like I'm on a mental rollercoaster where the "sweet spot" for my mental and productivity state lasts only a few hours before being rattled emotionally and mentally as my meds wear off at night... I want to know if anyone has had a similar dilemma as me, and how did you resolve it?
**TLDR what medications can be taken consistently for ADHD that don't have as harsh "swings" and anti anxiety drugs that function like GABAergics but can be taken daily long term? (Not blood pressure meds, more like mental effects). I'm wondering about meds that could be taken daily without having to do tolerance breaks or feel like I'm going through a mental wringer everyday.** | ADHD |
Treatment resistant social anxiety sufferer here.
I experience major movement impairments when Others are Watching me or when out in public, for example eating in front of others, reaching for my cup of coffee or putting on my shoes etc. Its like I lost my fine motoric skills. I am so self conscious that I am afraid to "perform" a wrong movement when other people are near me. Sometimes its even difficult to walk when I am outside. Every movement seems so stiff and rigid. Can anyone relate to these symptoms? | ptsd |
When you see “plausible threats” ...
How can you work towards feeling safe?
How do you create a safe space for yourself? | ptsd |
With my therapist I’ve uncovered some repressed sexual trauma and have had ptsd ever since.
Recently I’ve been experiencing these random periods of freezing (not being able to talk or move either at all or only a tiny bit) quite regularly. I used to be able to get triggered, feel the anxiety or hurt and try and move on, but now this happens every time I get triggered or feel really intense anxiety.
I know I shouldn’t beat myself up about it and I know why it happens, but if anyone’s also experienced this, do you know how I can reason with myself to regain control of my body? It’s like I want to move but my body just rids me of any control. Is there any way that I can make these freezing periods shorter or just not happen at all? They’re quite debilitating and embarrassing.
I’ve just had one in front of my parents and I feel like I look like a complete attention seeker. Also sometimes they try to move me around to ‘snap me out of it’ which can feel very scary and make things worse. Does anyone know what I could do? | ptsd |
So I have chronic lower back pain on top of my ADHD, and I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience to me and could possibly even share some best practices.
Lately, I'm feeling like I'm stuck in a feedback loop with my back pain and my ADHD. The physical pain is getting to the point where I can't do anything without making the pain worse or needing to rest for an hour afterwards. I can't even manage to do the dishes or play with my daughter for more than a few minutes these days. I'm getting really discouraged, which makes the anxiety/depression worse, which makes the ADHD symptoms worse, which makes it feel almost impossible to do the things that will help relive my pain (stretching, dieting, sleep), which makes the pain worse, ad infinitum.
I'm considering asking my Psychiatrist if I can get on some stronger meds, but I'm open to any and all suggestions. Or even some words of encouragement would be nice. I'll take that too. | ADHD |
Nope, never was gifted like a lot of people here.
Never was on the honor roll; C/D averages; special needs; graduated 49% of class; 1’s on all AP tests; 850 total score on the SAT, 14 on the ACT; 2.4 college GPA, no internships.
Nope, never was gifted like a lot of people here.
Never was on the honor roll; C/D averages; special needs; graduated 49% of class; 1’s on all AP tests; 850 total score on the SAT, 14 on the ACT; 2.4 college GPA, no internships.
Nope, never was gifted like a lot of people here.
Never was on the honor roll; C/D averages; special needs; graduated 49% of class; 1’s on all AP tests; 850 total score on the SAT, 14 on the ACT; 2.4 college GPA, no internships.
Nope, never was gifted like a lot of people here.
Never was on the honor roll; C/D averages; special needs; graduated 49% of class; 1’s on all AP tests; 850 total score on the SAT, 14 on the ACT; 2.4 college GPA, no internships.
Nope, never was gifted like a lot of people here.
Never was on the honor roll; C/D averages; special needs; graduated 49% of class; 1’s on all AP tests; 850 total score on the SAT, 14 on the ACT; 2.4 college GPA, no internships.
^(I copied, because I didn’t know what else to type) | ADHD |
I have tried to find ways of tackling my problems. I looked online for what helped other ADD people but it feels like almost nothing works for me. When I get started I can usually carry on but starting is really hard but once I getting started is so hard. And even when I do manage to start, when I get distracted by something and stop for a second then, unless I have an important deadline tomorrow, it’s back to square one. What do I do??? | ADHD |
I have fucked up my life. Slowly but surely. It didn't happen from one day to another. I have been taking bad decisions and poorly managing my time for many years now. I have digged my own grave and its my own fault. I really wish I had a reason to be unhappy other than I took wrong decisions in my life because I know that it probably isn't too late to turn around my life since I'm 19 but I am too tired to try so in the end I'm just essentially shit. I wish I could blame my parents or my growing environment but I was blessed with fairly good ones and lf I complained it would be insulting for people that endured hardships since child. Each year I'm sadder and I'm like a shell of what I used to be. Damn, I was so outgoing and intelligent and confident and funny and happy... But now I'm just shit and I'm sorry for my parents. The worst thing is how ashamed of myselft I am. I don't want anybody to see how low I have gotten and I just want to disappear but shit shit shit my parents would be sad fuuuck. | depression |
In typical aspie fashion I'm asking to boil a social situation down to math.
So there are obviously two extremes when asking a girl out, asking immediately and waiting too long (assuming you ask at some point, you could wait and they get into a relationship with someone else)
So... given that every girl's personality is different and unique, and given that both immediately and months long are two extremes, what is the optimal range of time spent with a girl where she "seems" interested, or at the very least not disinterested/oblivious to your feelings i.e. she hasn't dropped any "I have a boyfriend" statements and she doesn't pull away when you be playful around her and she laughs at your jokes.
Since I know we aren't social scientists basically what I'm asking is what rules of thumb have you found to be most helpful for gaging different girls likelihood of saying yes?
blah blah, I know there's no perfect time but I need something to anchor myself to to give myself the courage to ask her out. And the first time meeting them seems like a crazy time to ask them out when you know the least about them and they know the least about you. | aspergers |
Sometimes I forget I’m depressed and that I feel horribly inside..those are the best moments of my life. | depression |
I have created a community for us: r/SchizoOCD
I am hoping to connect with people who suffer from this shitty condition, to give eachother advice and support.
Join if you want. I wish you a great day, fast and permanent recovery and a great life! | OCD |
Hey all! I have pretty severe OCD that is well controlled with Luvox and Clomipramine. While my OCD is never gone and never will be, I feel much less obsessive than I was. However, I’m noticing as of late that my generalized anxiety has been making more frequent appearances. I almost feel caught off guard because at least with the OCD thought there’s a target. The GAD just kind of envelops you and you can’t always find a source to grab onto, and I also feel like it involves more physical side effects like fluttering in the chest. It’s wild how different they feel. What are other people’s thoughts who experience both types of anxiety?
I used to be on a daily benzo for anxiety but wanted to get off due to the nature of Benzos. My doctor prescribed me something called Hydroxyzine which is also an allergy drug. She said it’s very safe and non habit forming and I find that even though I get sleepy, it helps so much! Wondering if anyone else here has tried it. This week I’m coming off smoking pot and I feel like the hudroxyzine is a god send. | OCD |
Nothing specifically traumatic is discussed, but a TW for medical stuff & allusions to SA
I had to get an ultrasound done to check on an ovarian cyst. I thought I drank enough water, but apparently I didn't, so the tech had to do an intravaginal ultrasound. I said that I really didn't want to but I would if I had to and she said I did have to. It was painful. I was trying so hard to relax but I just couldn't and she definitely wasn't being gentle. Last time, the tech was nice and talkative and that was really helpful. This one didn't say a word the entire time and that just made it so much worse. At one point she needed me to spread my legs more, but she didn't ask me to, she just started pushing my leg out. And then again with the other leg later. That was when I started crying, silently. I feel weird about this, but the worst part was at the end, when she gestured to the cover over my legs, said, "you can use that to clean up and leave when you're done," and left the room before I had a chance to say anything. It was the "use that to clean up" that reminded me so vividly of one of the traumatic things that happened to me. I just started sobbing after she left the room and now I'm in my car and I can't go anywhere because as is usual for me when I'm triggered, I am cycling between dissociating and sobbing.
It's already a bad time of year for me. More trauma happened in the fall/winter than spring/summer so there's always an uptick in nightmares and flashbacks. I'm just not handling it well. Just wanted to vent. | ptsd |
Today I received the grades from the high school, I have 3 low subjects, there is really one that I do not understand how this low but it does not matter, what worries me the most is that I have a 3 out of 12 in biology, I need to upload his subject but his class is so boring that it becomes impossible for me, on top of that I don't like it. But I need to have it higher since classes are about to end and it is already something that depends on the exam to save it, I do not have a diagnosis that tells me that I have ADHD so I do not have medications or some way of being able to pay attention, whenever I ask for help. They say that I simply try harder to pay attention, or they tell me things that do not serve me, on top of which my parents and teachers must believe that I really do not care about high school, it becomes a bit frustrating, but my point is, how do I do to be able to at least pay attention a little? | ADHD |
I've been struggling with ADD symptoms for my whole life but could never really knew that I probably have it until one of my friends pointed out that I probably have it. I also have a lot of backpain recently. I'm really scared to get a diagnosis because I have a drug abuse history. I really do wish to get Ritalin or something similar, it has helped me to actually finish tasks and not overthink and get distracted by thoughts. How should I do this? Maybe get a new MD? | ADHD |
I (35 F with autism ) started dating a man ( 57 with ADD/ADHD ) a few months ago. We were friends at first and used to get along really well as friends. When we began dating something changed in him and he became really mean all the time and would say hurtful things to me. He tends to misinterpret me all the time and accuse me of things I didn’t do or say or think. Like he seems to always accuse me of having some kind of malicious intent toward him or secret agenda to hurt him or ruin his life or cause problems on purpose, I have no idea where he gets it from. His ego is off the chart and a lot for me to handle. He is aware I have autism and tend to view things literally. I feel that he’s inconsiderate about my autism which he’s known about since he met me. He hid from me that he had ADHD until after we were in a relationship and I can’t help but feel a bit like he was hiding his true colours before we started dating because he never used to be so angry and quick to temper like he is now, and he constantly puts me to the side and ignores me for other priorities when before, he used to actually like contacting me and talking to me and spending time with me. I told him I had depression and had been having dark thoughts lately and feel lonely in the relationship and I just found out the only family member I had left, passed away. He keeps arguing with me all the time and doesn’t know when to stop. Then he blames me for freaking out on him when I lost my patience. He says he takes a medicine called Foquest. He told me yesterday he would call me “soon” after ignoring my texts all day and hardly responding but was talking to people on his social media and to other people. He made me wait over an hour and didn’t even care I’d been waiting for him. He wants me to get on a plane and go meet him and I’d love to, but honestly I feel unsafe. He’s a lot bigger than me physically and he has paranoia and impulsively attacks me all the time for things he perceives wrongly. He says some pretty nasty things to me, which cause me to lose my cool and then he blames me. I told him I’d still like to come meet him so haven’t changed the flight booking or anything but I need a break from the stress and chaos and his temper. I told him this and said I’d contact him closer to the date we meet, and he said he might not be alive which scared me so I thought maybe I should send someone to check up on him and he told me it was a criminal offence , falsely accused me of threatening police on him and that I was doing that out of revenge. For what, I have no idea. I am just worried about him and he is coming off like incredibly unhinged, delusional and hostile. I need help. He always uses his ADHD as an excuse for his cruel behaviour on me and I am not coping well and it’s really damaging me. | ADHD |
Wondering how common this is and how others cope.
When I have a big life change coming, I am paralyzed for several days beforehand. Crying, can’t relax with anything I like, etc. I’m moving in three days, and I’m so excited! But I *can’t* stop thinking about it. I feel like I can’t play any games I’d want to because I should be packing or making lists of things I need. Also not helpful that my mother in law is texting me constantly about finding furniture for us.
I’m so scared and I can’t stop thinking about this…when it happens I usually just suffer in anxiety until the thing happens. anyone have good coping strategies? | aspergers |
24M. I generally don't feel horny at all, my sex drive has been pretty dead since like May this year. I don't really know why but I'm guessing it's depression, feeling empty or feeling nothing all the time. So like every other night I basically force myself to fap just in order to FEEL something, for that adrenaline or dopmine ot whatever, I don't know.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing to do or bad. Should I stop? I feel like it'd be hard to stop because I really start craving the dopamine (again, not really horny, just crave the hormonal effect).
I don't really have any other substitute to "feel", if you get what I'm saying. I don't particularly ever want to watch TV shows or movies, but when I do and they're really good I do feel good, but the problem is actually starting one or getting into one. Working out makes me feel good like once a week (I do it 5 times a week), while other times it's just a pain in the ass and I just push through it as a part of routine. I have really bad social anxiety so socializing is just plain exhausting, doesn't feel good at all. I don't do alcohol or drugs.
Does anyone relate? | depression |
Two of my friends died this month. I’ve been feeling shaky all day.. like a cold shiver throughout my body, down to the tips of my fingers. I’ve been extremely sad for a long time. I’m just so exhausted and I feel physically ill because of my depression. I just wanted to share this and get it off my chest. I feel like I’m breaking inside. I know I’m loved. It makes me feel guilty that I feel so alone. The pain that I feel is unimaginable. It just burns without a purpose.
I don’t know. Thanks for reading and take care | depression |
My whole life i find one habit to replace another, Ive done smoking , over eating, alcohol, drugs sex. Its always one or another.
As an adult I can't get proper treatment my dr gives me cipralex which I find does nothing.. I'm a adult female with adhd if that helps. I find no one takes it seriously . It's always been a struggle. | ADHD |
When people say "alright?" as a first polite greeting, I can't tell whether it's actually a question, or if it's just like the equivalent of saying "hi".
Sometimes I say "I'm okay thanks, how are you?" as if it's definitely them asking if I am alright, but sometimes I don't get a response which seems to imply that it's just a greeting. But sometimes I wonder if I'm being rude by responding "hi" to "alright?"
Does anyone know? Lol | aspergers |
I feel like it's so difficult for me and my other adhd folks to make friends because we are scared of the rejection and don't want the pain when they eventually leave our lives. I've learnt this the hard way, but I think the best thing to do is to stop expecting them to reach out first or arrange plans. It will never happen. At least, in my experience. It's good to build up your confidence and be the one that initiates to maintain the friendships. They seem to slip so easily.
I feel that I've been in a rut of sorts with my recent social life. I've only ever kept a close circle of very good friends, no time for the fairweathers. My last friendship ended so badly that it put me off of ever bothering again so I've not really had any friends for a couple of years. I have lots of friends now from work. These people are worth the effort, people who make me feel nothing but positive energy, people that I've laughed and cried with. Those are the people you make the effort for. I just love having a few select people who are my favourite people and it's us against the world and yeah.... So I've been making lots of plans with them, and we have had so much fun, and I'm happier than I have been for a while. It seems so silly to me now for shutting everyone out. | ADHD |
I hate the past two years. I miss having a home, I miss my friends, I miss my ex. I miss who I was in 2019.
Everything just gets worse and worse. Why am I even trying anymore? There's no point to anything.
I can't go back, I can't be the person I was. The future holds nothing at all for me. I don't care anymore, about anything. I want to just fall asleep and never wake up.
I can't believe I thought things would work out, that for once things were looking up. I was so stupid, grinning until my ugly face hurt while making plans to move in with my boyfriend. Idiot, absolute idiot. I knew better. | depression |
This happened back in June but no one will talk to me about it. I really need support and I don't know what to do. I don't know if I made the right choice. I don't need someone to tell me I did, I just need others perspectives and I need to finally talk about this somewhere.
I was with her for five years. I was in love with her like you wouldn't believe. She said she loved me too, but compared me to a dog once when talking about how cheery and affectionate I was, and not in a positive way. I wasn't dependent on her, since I love my time alone. I just sincerely loved being with her and spending time with her. She was my best friend.
It was her birthday. She took special occasions very seriously and the day before she asked me to try and remove myself from things if I got overwhelmed instead of going to her for help. That's understandable. But then on the morning of I found out there were people coming over that I didn't know about and she was asking me to clean for them. I was perfectly fine with that, but I kept asking her questions about what the plan was since she didn't mention it. She only gave vague answers as we were working but I insisted on knowing what was going on, in a very rigid autistic way. When she wouldn't tell me, I panicked and raised my voice. I wasn't handling myself well at all. She finally told me about the family she was having over and explained the plan and I calmed down.
I know I could have handled the situation so much better. I could have let her explain later and trusted her. I could have calmed myself down or removed myself like she asked. I didn't even realize how overwhelmed I was.
Less than an hour later, we were watching TV when she asked me why I got so loud earlier. She asked this unprompted so I think she'd been upset about what happened for a while and waited to talk about it. I reminded her that I really need to know what's going on in order to know what I'm supposed to do, and I apologized for how I acted. She was asking for my help and I just didn't have confidence. But she was extremely angry. We went back and forth. Eventually she said "I just needed you to not be like this today."
In tears, I begged her to explain what she meant and she wouldn't answer. More people were arriving and she had to greet them. The "birthday" was starting and I was a complete emotional wreck. I didn't know what to do. I removed myself but I couldn't stop crying. She refused to talk to me about what happened. So I left.
At home, I cried and cried and tried to figure out how I was going to be okay to go celebrate her birthday. Eventually she called me. It was a bad fight. She doubled down on needing me to be a certain way. I tried to explain that I couldn't and that I was hurt. Neither of us would budge. So I just... Dumped her. We had fights, and things were already rough, but it was a sudden decision. I thought "if she needs me to be a certain way, I just don't have that kind of control". I didn't think I could do what she asked. I didn't know how I could be different, no matter how badly I wanted to be for her. Or how badly I wanted to be with her and have a future with her.
But I broke up with her. On her birthday of all days. Even just feeling responsible for hurting her used to make me cry, now her last memory of being with me is that forever. Not to mention her birthday is a terrible anniversary now. I was so stupid and cruel without even realizing it. Every nightmare scenario in my head about our relationship came true. It ended as painfully as it possibly could have. I hurt her in ways I'll never understand. I don't know how to forgive myself for any of it, or if I should. At the moment I really don't think so. I'm just not the person I want to be. I made so many mistakes. I know things might get better or I could meet someone that doesn't mind me being like this. But I mind me being like this. And I always will. Regardless of whether I made the right choice or not I will always regret the mistakes I made and the pain I caused her. And most of all I'll regret not being stronger for her. I really, really wanted to stay with her. More than I've ever wanted anything. I think about her every single day no matter how hard I try to stop or distract myself. Now I'll never even see her or hear her again.
I just wanted to write this somewhere since I haven't really gotten to tell people, and hear other's thoughts. If they'd been through something like this, or if they had any insights. I'm just so sad and confused and angry at myself. I don't think it's ever going to get better. | aspergers |
Sometimes my adderall and Ritalin help but I don’t wanna rely on them especially cuz when they wear off I go into a deep depressive state. However, nothing seems to work. I signed up for a Google certificate so I can increase skills but I’ve been slacking. It’s a reason why I can never do online classes, I’ve tried forest app but I see it and go “eh I’ll do it later”. Even if I tell myself I’ll do something I’ll just get distracted or my mind goes blank. For example, when I read I end up forgetting what I read or I just stare at the pages all tired.
I’m on time to my job but I wanna get more skills and advance my career but I just can’t. Yet socializing I value the most and same with my yoga classes so idk it’s hard to be disciplined when I find everything boring after 5minutes. | ADHD |
Does anyone else experience this? I thought exercise was supposed to make you happy and lift your mood. My mood just plummets after any kind of moderate-intense workout. I am overweight, but was normal weight before, and both then and now I just feel so low after. I do currently struggle with depression otherwise. But even if I'm in a decent mood before working out, it changes the second I get home. Also - I don't think it's related to body image obsession or feeling like a failure in this sense, etc. I never really think about that post-exercise. It's just a mysterious random mood drop. Any thoughts or advice? Thanks in advance. | depression |
I struggle to make friends. I struggle with relationships. I have been called Insensitive, antisocial and irresponsible by my ex partner. I get exhausted too much too soon with anyone I try to be with. I feel glad at times that I broke off with my ex.
When I see my peers married and getting pregnant, I feel relieved I am not going to do that. May be never. I feel overwhelmed thinking about the prospect of marriage and children.
Can anyone relate? | aspergers |
I'm done with my life. I think I'm just in denial these feelings feel to real to not be homosexuality. If I ws really straight I wouldn't feel shit for guys in any way. My libido for girls is dead and probebly has been for years and I might have just pretended to still be sexually attracted when I was not. I think I've been lying to myself all my life and that I have just been secretly supressing my real sexuality. I don't wanna live my life as a homosexual while never being able to date and have romance with a girl. I'm so fucking depressed right now one of my biggest ambitious in life was to marry a beautiful girl and have great kids and all of that is possibly ruined now. I don't wanna live a life I don't want to. Its so unfair I don't wanna be gay. | OCD |
How do you do ERP? I'm not asking generally, but rather how do you, the person reading this, do ERP? I'm at the point where I'm trying to work out how to do ERP for myself (largely self-directed as I don't see my psychologist more than once every few weeks), and I'm trying to get an idea of what it looks like on a practical level.
Do you try and do ERP every day? Multiple times a day? How long do you spend on each exposure/session? Do you do ERP at the same time every day, or do you change it up? What do you do after you've done an exposure, do you do any self-care once the exposure is finished? I see things online saying that it can take upwards of an hour for distress to decrease when doing an exposure, and I'm wondering what are you allowed to do during that time? If the goal of ERP is to sit with the distress, do you literally just sit there for an hour doing nothing until the anxiety goes down? That's a long time to sit doing nothing but feel anxious, especially if the goal is to do this every day. I know that these are a lot of questions, and I'm not expecting answers to all of them.
Right now I'm struggling with implementing ERP into my routine. I currently do ERP sporadically, and not on any kind of schedule. I'm struggling to find exposures that distress me sufficiently, and when I do find something I'll still find myself feeling anxious hours later even after I thought I'd acclimatized. I'd really appreciate hearing from other people so that I can get an idea of what good ERP looks like in practice. | OCD |
I feel like this 9/10 times and I'm so sick of it. I don't have a shitty life at all. Actually my life is pretty good, and I thought that made a difference. But no matter what, when I get my depression episodes I just get emotional, suicidal, hating my life, not caring for consequences and this feeling does not go away. I fucking hate it | depression |
sometimes they have it coming when they purposefully invalidate my abuse (a trigger) but sometimes someone wont know i have ptsd and will accidentally trigger it & i want to hurt them or tell them to kill themselves. what do i do about this? its not an immediate reaction, its only when it gets really bad, when i'm having an attack. regardless, i dont want it to happen, otherwise, im a pacifist, so it feels wrong. what do i do? sometimes i dont see it coming so i cant always leave the situation in time. | ptsd |
I'm not quite sure how to properly word any of this so please forgive any lack of structure as despite how all the ideas can clearly coexist in my head, when it comes to ordering them in a structured paragraph, my brain freezes up and it's a huge effort just to get anything - even this preamble - out.
I'm feeling nervous, foolish, stressed and completely immobile in getting a diagnosis for ADHD. I'm not completely sure what my goal is with this post, however I recently found this community and the stories have resonated with me and the support for everyone I've seen has given me a sense of comfort in the thought that someone can provide some insight into my situation.
Despite finally feeling like an ADHD diagnosis would explain so much and the comfort of knowing alone should be enough motivation, the process is already so overwhelming and I haven't even made it passed a GP. It's been 3 months and I've been to 2 GPs to seek a referral. The first became immediately dismissive of anything I said after I muttered "ADHD" saying people will convince themselves of anything that they read about their health on the internet. They pressured me to accept anti-anxiety and depression medication (which I had been prescribed in the past but found it completely dulled all cognitive and emotional function). Although after my insistence he did refer me, I wound up convincing myself of a borderline medical conspiracy that the referred doctor would be informed about who I was and would just be waiting to ground my concerns into a simple "you need to just organise yourself better and everything will fall into place". The second GP was more understanding and organised a mental healthcare plan so I could see a psychologist without having to pay out of pocket. However, I didn't realise the clinic I had visited did not offer bulk billing (despite being convinced I had read it on their website) and I suddenly had a $120 bill infront of me. The embarrassment of calling after 2 weeks of not paying to hear that the GP ended up coveringg my bill has made me squirm at the thought of going back to hand in the DASS forrms (which I completely botched because I didn't read how they wanted the form filled out). He also wanted me to undergo a bloodtest to rule out potential physical causes of my low motivation which I haven't been able to do because I forget to fast beforehand - and that's on the days I remember I have the test in the first place.
All of these fuels my own guilt and self disdain at the idea that I'm disorganized and ought to have the capacity to change my situation independently. Until now I figured I just sucked at life but was smart and chatty enough to get by, but now I'm 26, in a serious relationship that I'm constantly sabotaging, in a job that actually requires me to manage my time and deliver projects (up until now I've been mind-numbingly bored yet competently functioning in hospitality) and I'm scared that everything is about to unravel before my eyes.
I know the anxiety and imposter syndrome leading into diagnosis is common, and regardless of the outcome it's something I need to get if I want to actually take the next step instead of riding this merry-go-round of stress-forget-cruise-stress-forget until the real world responsibilities I now have explode in my face \*and then cue cycle for another few years\*\*.
I suppose I'm hoping for some solidarity or advice because there clearly isn't any question or unique issue presented here. I feel like reading the support on other posts should be enough vicarious positive reinforcement but ultimately I still feel like a child at a train station who knows what train to get on but no idea how to get to the platform. | ADHD |
Okay 1) please don’t make me panic about this haha, I’m already concerned and I really do appreciate how much Adderall helps me. Whenever my medication wears off in the evenings, you guys I have a BAD time. My blood sugar SWINGS. I get really hot, then really cold, then hot again, etc. I get very shaky off and on during the hour I’m coming off of it. I repeatedly yawn, like I can’t get enough air, and sometimes it’s hard to catch my breath. My heart races then calms down…has anyone experienced these things as their medication wears off? I take 10mg 2x a day only as needed. I try to drink water, I also drink coffee, and I eat a balanced meal during the day. Any advice? | ADHD |
Anybody else struggle with smoking as more of a compulsion than an addiction? I quit for about 2 years, and once over the withdrawal hump, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. But I smoke 99s and chain smoke them, usually to avoid life around me. I really think it’s compulsive behavior. I’ve literally tried to smoke myself sick before, telling myself that becoming sick from it would be the only way to break the compulsion. Anyone else experience something like this? | OCD |
I've taken everything that isn't related to sleeping out of my bedroom so that I don't distract myself until 3:00(±) in the morning.
My psych prescribed me a me a medication that is essentially an "off switch", as the pharmacist described it, for my ADHD, to make it so that my brain winds down. This way and I can actually get to sleep without exhausting myself first.
So I'm going to sleep earlier, but I still have a hard time waking up in the morning.
I got an analog alarm clock and everything.
What can I do to ensure that I wake up without snoozing? I am very weak willed when I'm in bed. | ADHD |
I don’t really care if you read the rest of this post, the main point is that if you have ADHD this app will be *extremely* useful: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/due-reminders-timers/id390017969
Hello! I got diagnosed with ADHD (combined, but mostly inattentive I think) about a month ago (in my mid twenties!) and I just found this subreddit, and as I was digging around I noticed that nobody has recommended the app Due. I think this app is literally the reason why I didn’t get diagnosed sooner (but in a good way).
Basically, the app lets you set reminders to go off at a certain time, and then they go off again every few minutes until you mark it as complete (you can set the interval), so even if you get distracted after seeing the first notification your phone will remind you again within a few minutes (and get so annoying that you have no choice but to do what it says)
I use this app for almost everything that isn’t work related: I have reminders to stretch in the morning, eat breakfast/lunch/dinner, feed and walk my dog, take my medications, take out the trash, do the dishes, pay the bills, literally just anything that needs to be done in any sort of timely fashion.
I cannot recommend this app enough. It feels like it was designed specifically for people with ADHD, and I don’t know what I would do without it.
As far as I’m aware, it’s iOS only, and I don’t know about any similar apps in android (but if you do I’d love to hear it!)
Edit: one thing I forgot to mention is that it does cost money. Currently $7 to buy and then potentially another $5 (it’s technically a subscription but if you buy it once you get to keep all of the features that came out since your subscription started, *even after you cancel*) if you want more power-user-y features. It’s kind of a bummer, but I‘ve been heavily relying on the app for literally years so I personally feel like I got a great return on the investment | ADHD |
Last week I was diagnosed with ocd after YEARS going from one psychologist and or psychiatrist to another for depression and anxiety.
I gotta say that finally knowing what I have and putting it a name has made a big difference because I thought it was just my determination to get things exactly right and be extremely self demanding (it’s taking a toll on my physical health, stomach and heart mostly).
Im starting my treatment and now at last I see a light at the end of the túnel.
That’s it, that’s all I wanted to share with you.
Have a nice day! | OCD |
I’m 33, only recently accepted my Inattentive ADD diagnosis. But I’ve never accepted how hard it is for me to take care of myself and clean etc.
I still beat myself up about it.
It gives me shame and anxiety as well when it stacks up.
I live alone so I pretty much only clean if I know people will visit soon.
But otherwise my place becomes a complete mess and my clothes all get dirty till I don’t have much to wear, food starts going mouldy and it gets more and more overwhelming.
It seems impossible to motivate myself consistently (sometimes I have short periods where I’m driven to do it, but it fades quickly).
Does anyone relate? What advice do people have for me?
What can I do to change this? Or do I have to accept it? | ADHD |
So I have experienced all subtypes of OCD in my life. At least at one time or another, but recently it's been some very bad anxiety over my own health.
So for people with health anxiety, is it normal to expect the worst over minor symptoms? For the past three days I've worried so badly about contracting a sexual disease and I'm not even sexually active. I've experienced minor symptoms that have been bothering me so badly and everyone around me is telling me I'm overexaggerating and it's been making the health anxiety so much worse. I'm stuck in between telling myself I'm just having anxiety and then also fearing for my health and it's been so terrible. Does this all sound familiar??? | OCD |
I feel so out of touch with all of my emotions. I hope it was just my medication. I pray that my feelings still exist. All this medicine did for me was take away all feelings, not just anxiety. My feelings are so unreliable, I don't know what to do, I don't know who I am. I just wanted to feel again, both the good and bad feelings, so I stopped my medicine. I know its a stupid idea, but I can't afford it anymore and I feel like it's going to damage me permanently if I keep taking it. I don't want to develop pssd and lose my feelings forever. I just want to know who I am again. It's so hard with ocd, because it's definitely also reassurance seeking. I just want to feel the excitement and love for my relationship and life in general, but everything hurts. Through my whole relationship I've been on this medication that I think has been the culprit for all of my rocd problems and fluctuation of romantic/ sexual feelings. I haven't been able to feel powerful or intense feelings a while lot, in or outside of my relationship. I just want to feel those feelings again at their full intensity. I hope the medicine didn't kill it for good. I knew stopping them would send my anxiety out of orbit, but it's probably for the better. At least I remember what I fear, and hopefully soon I'll know what emotions I have again. I'm so so stupid and broke.
Tldr: I've had intense hocd, rocd, and fear of pssd and I hope quitting the pills I was put on gives me some insight what I'm even fighting for anymore. | OCD |
Hi everyone,
Brand new diagnosis here.
26F, I tried vyvanse 20 and 40 on my own about twice and all I really felt was a slight stomach ache. Maybe a tiny bit of clearness. I told my psych this and he decided to start me off on 25 mg foquest instead.
I tried it today and felt absolutely nothing. If anything just tired and hungry. At the end of the day I definitely had some hot flashing and a headache and neck/back pain. Annoying but not unbearable.
My question is this - should I keep trying it for the week and titrate up to 35 next week? Has anyone seen it make a difference over the week rather than a single day use?
Should I take 2 of the 25mg and see how I feel?
Should I reach out to my doc and switch to vyvanse?
Any insight is helpful. | ADHD |
my skin is so dry all the time. it hurts a bit too (usually at night when i have my rituals) | OCD |
I (F29) have only been diagnosed with ADHD this year and am still working through a lot. Out of all my ADHD symptoms, I'm realizing that my emotional dysregulation is probably the most hindering. Some people call it rejection sensitivity dysphoria (which, as of now, is not a medical diagnosis, just thought I'd mention that because I know this sub takes that seriously), which I heavily relate to. For the record, my responses tend to attack inward rather than externally - I end up hating myself rather than lashing out at other people (to their faces, anyway).
I realize this is embarrassing, but here it is - I can basically remember every negative comment anyone has ever said to me, and when I remember them, it's like they've just happened in how distressed I get, both emotionally and physically. It never gets better. It doesn't matter how minimal they are (eg. someone said they didn't find my joke funny, or getting snarky feedback on an essay). I know this is ridiculous. Anyone who relates with rejection sensitivity knows they're being ridiculous. Being kind to myself doesn't help - it doesn't matter that much of the criticism isn't even that bad, or that many of these criticisms were about my unknown ADHD/autism and that I did the best I could at the time. This is visceral - the panic, shame and sadness are automatic.
I thought knowing about this symptom would fix it. Don't get me wrong, knowing that it exists makes a HUGE difference, but it doesn't stop the panic I feel every time it happens. I'm in the process of honing a hobby I love more than anything and have been getting feedback on my work for the first time. While I'm so grateful for the people who have given me feedback (seriously, nobody has been intentionally cruel or unreasonable), I've been both physically and mentally panicked all week, with a constant, low-level sadness I can't shake. Intellectually, I know that you can't get better at anything without correction and criticism. However, this isn't rational. But this particular passion is the line for me - I refuse to let emotional dysregulation take this from me.
It's incredibly disheartening when people try to minimize this, because it severely affects so much of my life - dating, making friends, finding a new job, learning a new skill etc., because oftentimes the intense negative emotions that'll result if there's even a hint of failure aren't worth the risk, nor the playback in my head I'm going to have to deal with indefinitely as a result. It's bizarre because I'm a pretty asocial person and don't even really seek general social approval, so what gives?
For people older than me - do you outgrow this? Does it get easier?
​
TLDR; for people who experience rejection sensitivity/emotional dysregulation to the point they're not living the life they want to lead to avoid the overwhelming negative emotional responses, what are some strategies/advice that has helped you? General advice regarding emotional dysregulation is also welcome! (I'm recently diagnosed and cannot afford therapy right now. Medication doesn't seem to affect this symptom one way or another) | ADHD |
And I mean, like, becoming physically angry at people just skipping over really important stuff.
I'm getting into software development (web development specifically) and HOOOO BOY this is becoming a problem.
I want to actually understand what I'm writing, y'know? But I don't, because we're using React with JSX plus something called React-Router-Dom that changes how view switching works on top of that, and we *just barely* know basic Javascript syntax. But if I ask questions, that's "outside of the scope of this course", so I'm stuck asking absolutely nothing during class at all even though our teacher wants us asking questions. We're just Cargo Cult programming at this point, and if I manage to get a job off of what we're doing I'm not just going to feel impostor syndrome, I'm literally going to be a leech who lied my way into a job, along with all the other leeches that did the same thing, because web dev is *full* of us and I hate it.
I can't stand it, but at the same time, I get the impression that most people think this way. Here's another fun example:
Did you know that you don't actually need oxygen for a fire? You don't! Anything that causes a sufficiently violent reaction after a substance is heated could be considered combustion, so long as it's a chain reaction due to the heat generated. And no, you won't always end up with carbon-based smoke, or water, or whatever else people typically think of as "the fire stuff", and it's all because *grade-school science teachers* often don't actually make an attempt at understanding the chemistry behind combustion.
Here's another one, a lot of fourth graders don't know how to read because [no one will teach them how letters work.](https://www.apmreports.org/episode/2019/08/22/whats-wrong-how-schools-teach-reading)
Stuff like this underlies so much of what upsets me about work culture, and by extension the world in general. Nobody bothers actually understanding things, nobody bothers getting things done the *right* way the first time, most mental houses are built on rotting wood foundations that get knocked over if you just shove them. It explains so much about conspiracy theories, anti-science, some absolutely wild political takes, bigotry in general, how large systems inevitably become hilariously inefficient as band-aids get stuck over band-aids over band-aids...
**OK, more to the point,** anyone have advice on getting myself to stop caring / thinking so hard and start happily getting results from systems I don't fully understand? Because I'm gonna need to learn *fast* if I want to have a future doing basically any job that requires a lot of knowledge. | aspergers |
In my software engineering major we have to make use case diagrams, architecture diagrams and so on for a project.
However, the idea just puts me off, it's a lot of work to put all down. How to be perfectly fine with such big things to do?
I think in general getting used to new things that are a lot of work is hard being an Aspie. I have this "I don't want to do all this work, let me remain comfortable" feeling. The bigness of what I have to do just loads all into my brain.
If I had all the time in the world and no structured school schedule with deadlines, I could gradually learn and get used to anything I want. Unfortunately that isn't the case. | aspergers |
First, I (25F) understand that appearances aren’t everything, but it's hard for me to believe the flowery words society tells everyone like “true beauty is on the inside :)” and “you’re perfect the way you are. <3” when I witness every day how shallow and judgemental the world is. Especially to girls. I want to escape these hellish expectations.
I don’t think I’m ugly, but I guess I don’t seem to “try very hard”. In reality, I’m overwhelmed trying to always be presentable, while many NT girls seem to look flawless with ease. I know it’s hard for every girl but with executive function issues, I struggle to reserve time and energy for all of it. It is expensive too between all the make-up, nail care, hair and skin products, as well as clothes.
My boyfriend hasn’t spent 10 minutes during the entirety of our relationship trying to look nice for me, but I spend several hours a week trying to keep up my appearance and I still get comments about my weight or body hair. (For the most part, I’m in shape and shave, but it seems like when something little is off I lose my entire appeal. Why is that?)
And The upkeep NEVER ends; it just gets more tedious as I get older
I can’t put the time, energy, and money for maintaining my appearance into something I enjoy, or else I’ll be anxious in public. For example, this week at work I worked 8 days in a row, and I forgot to repaint my nails for 3 days. When I noticed them I was ashamed all day because I saw customers looking at my hands and judging me. I have terrible self-esteem issues, and no amount of “you’re beautiful the way you are :)” posts are going to make me forget the shallowness I witness, and at times experience first hand.
Do any other ND girls have better luck with this chore or is it overwhelming for you too? | aspergers |
There was this jerkoff who I was arguing with on reddit and he looked at my previous ocd questions on reddit and he said “deep down inside you want to be a girl and you want to gain weight” I felt so shitty and that I felt as if “I’ve been lying to myself?” I have Trans OCD and Some other types of ocd and I felt so shit after this I felt like I have hidden desires I’m so disappointed. | OCD |
my brain wants change and it wants it as soon as possible. it knows that change happens when i threaten to or succeed in destroying my possessions.
and now i can’t stop. please, how do i stop. | OCD |
So I’m on vacation by a beach, it’s night time, and I’m sitting down on some towels eating dinner with my family ... and somebody looking for shells with what must be the brightest flashlight I have seen in my entire life ... keeps shining in my face from like a football field away.
In the scouts they always taught us to shine your flashlight at the ground so you don’t hit people and their eyeballs with blinding light.
At any rate they eventually pass and I’m like thank God but now they turn around and start flashlight around again.
I shout at several times to please turn the flashlight towards the ground. The waves could’ve been too loud.
I just kept on remarking and thinking myself for the love of God I hope that’s a stupid kid or a stupid teenager and not a grown ass adult (not to offend I was a stupid kid and a stupid teenager). | aspergers |
Hey guys! Recently prescribed 5mg dextroamphetamine to help me study and not be a complete and utter airhead.
So far I like sleeping on them.
And then after I sleep I like to casually do shit like my washing and tidying, answer a few questions on my assignments, but I’m not like, sitting down and doing heaps.
I just casually move around, without getting confused and overwhelmed, slowly completely small things, which is something I never would do beforehand.
However, I always have a 3 hour nap.
Is that normal?
Does it make anyone else need a nap?
Should it be doing more for me, making me more focused? Or is what I’ve described how it’s kinda supposed to work, and being able to focus and achieve more is something that will be more up to me and my coping mechanisms as opposed to the medication itself?
I feel like I don’t really do anything until 6-7 hours after I take it.
Please tell me your experiences/ and drop any study tips to help me achieve my goals!!!! | ADHD |
I'm fairly new to ADHD medication. What I'm not new to is dealing with sleep apnea. My sleep apnea is untreated due to insurance issues (thanks, America), so I often find myself waking up because I stop breathing in the night. These problems seem to have grown worse and more frequent since I began taking Adderall. Now, correlation doesn't always equal causation, and my research so far hasn't turned up any sort of definitive link. I'm curious if there is anyone else out there who has experience with this or a similar issue who can shed some light one way or the other. | ADHD |
I was feeling pretty good, been dating someone for a while and I’ve felt like I’m finally learning to be in a healthy relationship... but every so often I feel so needy for his approval and validation and if I don’t get it I feel worthless and like he doesn’t like me.
I feel angry with myself for kind of choosing to see it that way but I can’t help it; I find myself wanting to pick a fight or bring it up with the goal of him affirming me and making me feel desirable and worthy, even though it’s not really his job.
And I don’t want to burden him. But I also get kind of bored or worried that I’m boring to him when in reality we’re probably just in a healthy relationship.
Like it feels like if I’m not experiencing extreme emotion, + or -, then I’m doing something wrong, and he’s on the brink of dumping me.
So I’m seeking validation; does anyone else feel this? How do you cope?
& I’m trying to really understand why this emotional addiction happens, and how I can help break the addiction. | ptsd |
Has anyone tried the get cerebral app? My psychiatrist office has HIGH turn over and I’ve seen 2 diff docs in the last month. This gives me anxiety about needing to re explain my condition and then make a case for meds (ugh). I plan on paying for a better dr once I complete my fellowship this spring.
Does get cerebral prescribe meds? I take vyvanse. Are they reliable? What are the costs? | ADHD |
My therapist really wants me on antidepressants. She says my life will start to make more sense once I do. I’m skeptical. | depression |
Hey! I'm a 24 yo guy who have been suffering from OCD since I was 14-15 yo. As the title say, my OCD is really awful.
1. When I go to a supermarket to do some shopping, I am always so scared that I would have stolen things without knowing it from it after leaving it I get so much anxiety that I might be caught and go to jail. Or when I pass near people with phones on their hands or purses, I fear I have stolen them those things. As a result, I always try to walk with my hand in the pockets.
2. When I pass near groups of girls or even women I have the impression I might have lost the control and raped them on street and I get so much anxiety that I always look after them after passing them to see if they are ok.
3. Sometimes I have also the impression that I hurt/stab people on the street and I look after people to see if they are alive.
4. I have HOCD also. I fear so much of being gay. Whenever I pass near a good looking guy, I try to not look at him. And inside me, I fear so much I'm being gay cause I find him attractive. When I see on Internet a pic with a male, I just turn off immediately the page cause I feel so much fear.
5. I check always 7 times the toilet, the sink and the shower before leaving the bathroom to see if the water is closed.
6. I also check the fridge if it is closed, the cooker, the door also.
7. I wash my hands after touching anything from outside or the floor/phone. This thing is since 2018 (long before Covid-19 started).
8. I always check the expiration date of food obsessively because I fear I might get food poisoned. If I seem to observe some pale colour or little thing strange, I throw it.
9. When I go online, I always verify the history after I finish browsing because I have the impression I do prohibited things online like watching child porn.
10. When I think something negative about someone from work/neighbours, I fear they might have heard me and I get so much anxiety.
11. I always try to remember the conversations with people cause I'm afraid I say nasty things to them or having bad language/being impolite.
12. I fear so much of looking at people on window cause I feel they will think I'm following them and harass them .
13. When I exit the shower and I have my phone on desk, I feel the camera of phone can turn on and film me naked and I'm afraid that film will go online.
14. When I go on retail sites and see all the products I get the impression I buyed all I saw on that site and this gives me immense anxiety.
I feel like I'm a gay rapist, a criminal, a burglar, a jerk who deserve to be in prison.
I am tired of pretending always in front of others I'm okay. Even this faking normality is killing me. | OCD |
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