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So I used reddit's search bar to find "light sensitivity" and your reddit was 3rd on the list and I have this anyways so time to ask after a short back story. Thank god I'm high by the way or my memory would force this to go unanswered. I can't wait for the move to Cincinnati cause I found they are the cheapest state to live in and have good memory and mental disorder associated doctors.
Anywho, any light what so ever has to be taped up. I find that blue painters tape with a couple layers work best for things which have a remote to use them. Blankets are good for the back of computers once you're done using them. Electrical tape for other equipment like detectors, routers, etc. But any light at night when trying to go to bed and I can't get to sleep. But for the windows I currently stable blankets to the wall around the window. I'd like to change that.
I've been playing with the idea of building my own bed frame with doors on it so that I can further enclose it from the outside. Fans would be used to push in and draw out air so I can breath and don't over heat. Ducts to make it so no light comes from the fans. Recessed lights so that I can have a soft dim when waking up or going to bed. A TV on one end with a computer built in somehow. All around an adjustable foot and head queen sized bed. Adjust it to the "desk" mode and game and the like for those days I just can't get out of bed. A tunnel of sorts for the cat to come in and out of. It's pretty much a pod for all use but food and bathroom, that can fit in a bedroom.
That's that idea. The cheaper idea would be some sort of curtain which I can still open in the day time and get plenty of light but when I close them there's never light ever. Anyone know of anything like that? I'd love to get it so I don't fry during the hot months cause I'm so much more insulated.
Also what tricks do you use to get past light when trying to see? I have a sleeping cap to go over my eyes but it's a hat so it makes me too hot. Masks never work on me no matter what I do. | aspergers |
I am 17 years old(M) and have been doing a lot of research into ADHD ever since I got diagnosed last April. I was put on 1mg of a nonstimulant because my doctor feels that stimulants might make my anxiety worse. I am now at 4mg of that nonstimulant and have seen no improvement and now I am on an anxiety med/antidepressant. I just had an appointment 2 days ago and she thinks my anxiety might be showing as attention problems so if we fix that maybe my ADHD meds will do their job. I then tried explaining executive dysfunction to her and she just didn't get it. On the way to the doctor I explained it to my mom and she was really confused but I expected that. When I explained it to my pediatrician that I have trusted to know everything for the last 17 years I for some reason expected her to understand executive dysfunction. She keeps talking about helping other people with ADHD and I dont understand how she can help so many people with this disorder without understanding the actual symptoms of it. The fact that most neurotypicals only ever hear about the attention part of ADHD is so depressing. My doctor and my mom ask me if I want to try counseling but I honestly don't know if I could bring myself to say these things aloud. Also, most of my anxiety(other than social anxiety) comes from a lack of time(because I waste it all due to my executive dysfunction) so I immediately just worry that counseling will just take up more time that I don't have. After I tried telling my doctor about executive dysfunction and how I had a breakdown the night before my math test because I hadn't done a single assignment for the chapter(they are all due on test day). I told her thar I physically can not open my math book and do my math even though I really want to do it. She just ignored that and said she thinks making my own schedule and personal deadlines for each assignment will fix my problem. Yesterday my mom told me that I had to have one assignment done my dinner time. I stressed all day and did nothing. She then told me that for every hour I didn't have it done, that was another hour I couldn't play games(so there was some consequence to back up the deadline). She told me that she would give me until midnight before implementing the rule since she just made it up. I had stressed all night long and done nothing by 11:30 when she walked into my room. She got pretty annoyed while waiting for me to finish the game I was in and then sat next to my desk watching my struggle to do my math. I got like 2 and a half questions done in half an hour before she realized that I needed to go to bed because I was struggling. I told her that my head felt really full and that it was loud in my head. She asked if I actually heard stuff in my head and then I had to explain that I just meant it wasn't actual noise, just like a static cloud covering my brain. It's like having a cafeteria in my head, it feels loud, but you can't actually hear anything unless you specifically listen for each thing. She was also confused by my head being full so I tried explain that it feels like my sinuses are full, but it's my whole head instead if my sinuses. She just got really confused and let me go to bed. Today when I got up at 3 after fighting my brain to get out of bed for almost 4 hours she asked if I slept well. I explained that I woke up a little after 11 and she then cut me off and assumed that I got up and grabbed my phone and watched youtube until 3. I said no and told her that I just laid in bed without my phone trying to get up and just got even more confused. Nobody around me understands what is happening and it is really frustrating. I have done so much research and it has made me feel a lot better to learn that I'm not lazy and a lot of things I do are caused by the way my brain is. I expected the people that care for and about me to do the same research so they could know how to help me and could somewhat understand me. I constantly just feel like smashing my head into a wall because I'm so frustrated | ADHD |
I don't know if anyone has these same issues, but the urges with the OCD are constant and make me feel crazy. I'd get into what the urges feel like, but it's graphic and I don't like going into detail. Just feels like my adrenaline is constantly high and I can never relax myself whatsoever. I feel like I have too much energy and it makes the Intrusive thoughts come back. I'm not sure the cause, but if anyone else has this it'd be nice to know that. Sometimes I just feel very alone when this happens. | OCD |
Feel like I don't have the rights to be depressed and deserve more to just be tortured to death | depression |
I was at my mother's godparents yesterday. Her godfather and I had a little chat and he congratulated to my english highschool diploma. He said he's proud of me. I felt a little happy, but sad and guilty too at the same time. He doesn't even know I tried to attempt suicide a month ago and it makes me feel worse because of that...
When somebody is kind to me and says something kind like "I love you" then the only thing I want to do is scream in pain and cry a lot... | depression |
A few days ago on the 26th around 6pm, i was involved in a multi-car accident that involved me slamming into the back of an 18-wheeler flatbad that had slammed on its brakes due to an concurrent wreck taking place in front of him.
I can't stop thinking about the initial impact or get the image of another bloody driver that was involved that another person & i had carried out of his burning car before it could engulf the entire vehicle. Its been in my mind for most of the day & the soreness from my body is a constant reminder of the wreck.
I don't know if I'm overthinking it since it happened almost 2 days ago & hence it's still fresh in my mind & maybe common to still think about it but i don't know man. My sleep since then has only been due to me being awake until I'm tired enough to not have enough energy to think about much & finally sleep.
Any other people involved in wrecks or anyone in general have any tips for how to deal with this issue? | ptsd |
My latest intrusive thought from my OCD - “Well, um, I know I screwed up somehow but can’t pick a topic, but you’re still a f’up”. Love that my ocd is now as indecisive as I am. 🤦♂️ | OCD |
I’ve had this as long as a I can remember, and I’m only now thinking it might have to do with OCD . I was diagnosed a couple months ago .
Basically , I cannot keep nail polish on . I love painting my nails and the look of neat, well-groomed nails . I’ll spend hours doing them , sometimes multiple times a day .
The problem is that soon after , I’ll get the urge to pick it off . Especially if I see any chips , streaks , or imperfections. I’ll even do it before it’s even dried , or with gel polish , which is meant to be adhere to the nails for weeks. I become super aware of the feeling of the polish on my hands , and just HAVE to pick it off .
As a result , I have a pretty hard time growing out my nails and keeping them neat because the constant picking makes them brittle and always with hangnails and bloody edges . As a kid , I would get awful nail infections from this exact sort of thing, even without polish .
I also have some skin picking habits that I’m really trying to curve because my legs are now scarred and full of dark spots.
Is there a way to help these habits ? I’m already on Zoloft 50mg ( I can’t tolerate more for now). | OCD |
I can’t do anything right, I’m just a failure. I just can’t take life anymore it’s too much. | depression |
It’s really hard to be consistent with ADHD. I start things and not finish them. I start a new routine, but before the week runs out I’m already off track. I get excited and start a new hobby (boxing). I got gloves and other stuffs then stopped. I started a new online business, wasn’t seeing results and I stopped after a while. Sometimes I just wonder if I would ever be successful in life. ADHD is a pain in the ass😔😔😔 | ADHD |
Hey! I am trying to eat as little animal product as possible but I have ADHD so I am not super awesome at planning meals. At home eat vegetarian or vegan if possible but I just feel really bad if I do not eat enough protein and if I exclude animal products I end up not eating enough protein. Sometimes I eat meat if I am at somebody's place. I just got a prescription for Medikinet so I will start taking it tomorrow or Sunday and the doctor told me it was very important to eat enough so I am honestly considering just going back to eating meat to make it less hassle. But on the other hand, it is kind of against my principles
I mean I know it is super easy to be vegan, but for me apparently, it is not.
Any thoughts? | ADHD |
So a few months ago I was in Spain with friends. Got really drunk on the beach and got very upset at one my friends(I get emotional when drunk) called my girlfriend crying because she’s the person I always turn to. Found out one of my friends cheated that day and then started obsessing over whether i cheated. This obsession went away for a while but it’s back really badly now. I checked all my calls texts etc and there was only around a 10 minute period when I wasn’t on my phone so I doubt I cheated. All my friends said I definitely didn’t and one said he remembers the day perfectly and that I 100% didn’t cheat. Whenever a girl came near me I always clarified I had a girlfriend etc. I just said to my girlfriend I cheated just to get over this . What should I do ? | OCD |
Trigger warning: Sexual abuse
I was molested/raped over the course of three years when I was a child and I don’t have too many triggers. Every now and then certain songs, smells or touches will cause discomfort and it will take time to recollect myself, but one thing that immediately sends me into a full on panic attack is amber alert tones.
Maybe it’s the tendency to connect amber alert with kidnappings (which are assumed to lead to sexual abuse of a child). But though it has no *direct* link per-say, to my abuse, it consistently affects me more than anything else.
Tornado alarms, severe weather alerts, etc. do not cause the same effect, so I know it’s not the tones that are designed that way. But does anyone else have these problems with an indirect cause of PTSD? I’m sorry if this is a stupid/obvious question, I’ve recently come out about my abuse and don’t know who to go to to get answers about small things like this. | ptsd |
When I go into my bathroom for any reason I need to put my hands under cold water and if I don't my hands feel warm/ hot and just wrong until I do put them under cold water.
I don't even know if this is the related to OCD but I don't know how or where to find out more about this behavior. Anyone got any ideas? | OCD |
I have been recently diagnosed with PTSD from childhood abuse. I still live with my family so it's difficult to cope as it is, but im terrified of developing an addiction. I used to self harm and i was anorexic but thankfully I broke both of those habits, however I can't find any good coping mechanisms, so I started smoking (hand rolled tea cigs, about 3 times a month on average but thats still bad) and I've been drinking (still not much, but I've been doing it more often). It's mainly to cope with violent thoughts and dissociation. I really don't know how to get a sense of relief from anything else. I've tried hobbies, exercise, therapy (still ongoing) but i dont know what else to do.
If anyone has any good coping strategies, I'd be grateful. | ptsd |
I feel like thats the general idea. If you don’t feel like socializing get out and socialize. If you’re constantly busy get out and do things that will make you happy. Difficulty maintaining a schedule? Get up at the same hour every day or go to the gym. I feel like much of whats out there to help is based on a specific symptom but i feel like this approach is flawed. If anything this oversimplification is making me feel even worse for being unable to change even the smallest things about myself | depression |
I'm a couple weeks on Adderall 10mg XR and it's definitely helping make my ADHD symptoms way more manageable while I still feel like me, just way less likely to get brain fog or restlessness (outwardly or inwardly)
It's still completely possible to procrastinate with it though. In fact, in some ways it's even easier because I can focus better on browsing reddit and other things as well (and sometimes it's nice to be able to some leisure activities while being able to focus more on it).
BUT, once I get on task, it's much easier to continue that task because that itch in my brain is much reduced/don't get foggy when trying to focus.
Therefore, **pomodoro timer** or some other similar timer, I've only been using 25 minutes on, I haven't tried timing my breaks yet
It's easier to get started on the correct task when I have a set amount of time and the timer clearly defines my start and end. Plus, sometimes I find I like the task and can actually keep going (unheard of before meds). **And it actually feels good to complete the task and/or timer!!**
I've tried pomodoro timer before meds as well and they did not work previously or very rarely did they work and then I was so exhausted by it. 25 minutes was way too long, even 10 minutes was too long, sometimes even 2 mins. It was so hard to push patch the itch for need of stimulation/fog in order to complete the timer. I still used them sometimes because it was still better than nothing though.
so yeah, I have years of using procrastination as a crutch so it's a habit now that I'm working on getting rid of and using timers has already been a huge help for me. I can tell now that my ADHD isn't because I procrastinate, but I procrastinated so much because I have ADHD.
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tldr; I still can procrastinate on meds especially after years of using it a crutch to avoid my ADHD symptoms, but now on meds, I can actually use timers to help me get started and actually complete a pomodoro timer AND it feels good to do so. I can finally see why others love these timers so much and why they show up all the time in the productivity subs. | ADHD |
How do people just get up every day and think yea let’s do this again. Even getting out of bed is enough of a fucking struggle. Convincing my brain out of loops of self hatred and negative self talk is killing me. I hate this every day. | depression |
Why CVS never have Adderall prescription? I've been under both IR and XR sometimes 20, 25 or 30mg. When I go to CVS they never have the prescription and give me the excuse that they usually take 2 weeks or more to arrive if I try to make the order. Because of this, I'm always stuck with Walgreens... I prefer not to keep getting my prescription to them anymore because they always have a specific brand that doesn't work with me. What can I do? I've been trying to get a prescription to CVS for over a year and is always the same story. I heard CVS has the brand that I use to take 5 years ago when the medication use to do its effect correctly. This is so depressing... this has completely changed my life because is not effective anymore even after taking long breaks, last time I was 1 and a half month without medication to see if it was something to do with tolerance but no... I feel so alone in this situation and I can't take it anymore...
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Update:
Thanks a lot guys, I was not expecting to receive all this advice / support. I will get back with an update soon… Crossing fingers... 🤞 | ADHD |
I have read the wiki and the associated recommended reading, but didn't see what I was looking for.
I don't have OCD myself but my daughter does, and I recently learned that it's more severe than I originally thought.
We are trying to get her a new therapist (which is obviously hard right now because every therapist is overworked). In the meantime, can anyone suggest resources where I can learn how to better support her as she tries to cope/deal with this?
Thanks in advance for any ideas | OCD |
I feel like I'm watching myself not do it also. Someone sitting on my shoulder constantly reminding me of what I could do, and how I need to and how I still won't. So I don't. I hate this. It makes me feel like I could be my best but I definitely won't be. It's an abusive partner in your head. | OCD |
I’m 21F me and my bf started dating when I was 19. I had a close guy friend before my bf shared most things w him during the summer before college I showed him my stomach asking if I looked fat cuz I was starving myself at the time .
When me and my bf started dating (this took awhile cuz he originally didn’t wanna date me at all and was hesitant) I stayed friends with him and I sent him videos of my boyfriend etc . But I did a bad thing and hid my close guy friend from my boyfriend in fear he would get mad. And I also didn’t trust my bf enough at the time because he would comment that I don’t need makeup cuz I have a boyfriend .
And it triggered me bc I’ve been in previously controlling relationships . I played virtual online games I sent all the messages I have from them to my bf or the ones I had from my guy friend (that I had). And told him everything I didn’t hide the virtual games I just didn’t let him know.
I would send my close guy friend tik toks of me asking if I looked fat or bad . And tik tok photos I was wearing a bralette and made a comment my boobs looked good as a joke and he laughed .
Anyways I will fixate on evens there is more but this would be a book if I kept going . And now I fear talking to everyone but mainly men . My bf knows of this and he reminds me he Dosent care and the past is the past . But I’m very obsessed and self-harmed over it.
I also played virtual avatar games that said sexy club etc etc and obsessed over these too but my bf said he didn’t care abt those . | OCD |
I struggle with real event ocd and a lot of my thoughts are things like: how could you, look what you did, how many times did you do it?
All I want is to be able to say “ok I did at the time what I thought was right” accept it and move on. But these thoughts and questions keep rolling around! | OCD |
I was prescribed adderal 30mg XR almost 2 months ago. I don’t take the medication during the weekend because I don’t want to build up a tolerance and don’t work on the weekends. The only issue is that I’m so beyond tired on the weekends can barely function. Is this normal? Or am I just tired from the work week? | ADHD |
I have been feeling bad and tonight is particularly bad. I texted like 5 people for some help and no one got back to me. I’m sure they are sleeping, but just wanted somebody to know. Just wanted to voice I was having a bad depression day. Thanks for listening ❤️ | depression |
I've been thinking about the subject of "emotional death" quite a bit past few years. Since many of us aspies (me included) have naturally abnormally strong, in my understanding usually pro-social type of emotions, i wonder if exposure to enough violence and emotional pain at the right age could weaken those emotions, and thus make social situations a bit (or a lot) easier for us?
I get that it's this is an unpleasant subject for many, but still important and i'm kind of speaking from experience. I was barely functional well past my twenties, to the point when i got pretty severely bullied for the first time of my life at my first job. This experience really changed me. I stood my ground for a couple years and took all the shit those pathetic c\*nts had to give, and through this grew to be beyond functional, even kind of ambitious in a sense.
I'm still not perfectly sure whether it was the emotional pain i went through that caused this, but it did something. I went from being unable to have a phone call without panicking to a kind of an adrenaline junkie. I also became a much more of a selfish person, in some ways a kind of a person i used to despise back in the day. I understand enough about these things to say i didn't become a sociopath, but much more of an antisocial type of a person in any case.
To me, it feels almost like one with enough understanding about how the mind works could kind of "sell their soul" for real through this. Start inducing traumatic, violent events on yourself on purpose (killing animals or some sick shit like that), and in exchange gain some more functionality through increased emotional clarity and self-control caused by weakened emotions. Kill your emotions since they are too strong to control? The problem is, once you decide to go down that road, and embrace sadism just to save your sorry ass, how/when would you be able to stop?
Any thoughts/experiences? If you don't want to write about them here just pm me. | aspergers |
I was recently diagnosed with OCD and as I’m learning about it and more about myself, I’ve been making a lot of correlations to things I would do as a child. For instance, I remember hiding under the table in kindergarten every day to finish my art projects. To this day not matter what I start I feel like I have to finish it or I do not feel satisfied and I continue to think about need to complete it until it’s done. The teachers would come to me to give me a 15 min warning, a 10 min warning, and a 5 min warning before the entire class warning for clean up to move onto the next subject/activity scheduled. Yet even with all of the warnings I would continue to work no matter how long it took to finish, and I have always been really slow to finish things and make them “perfect” whether it was a project, doing the dishes, or taking a test. During 3rd grade my teachers became even more worried because I applied this perfectionism to my practice exams for the state tests (in New York if you do not pass them you can get left back to repeat the grade). So many times they encouraged my mother to take me in for further evaluation but my mother did not want me to feel not normal or get bullied if I was labeled with a diagnosis. Now that I decided to get evaluated as an adult she wishes she seemed intervention for me sooner, but I still question if my current diagnosis was also what I would have been diagnosed with in the past if she did agree to get me evaluated as a child.
Some other memories I have is constantly needing reassurance from anyone and everyone - for example, I would look for my piano teacher to nod his head or tell me I was correct before pushing down on the next note. I also remember my step dad telling me “why do you ask so many damn questions?”pretty regularly, or he would tell me “Google it” because I guess I had a lot of questions that were hard to answer. From a young age I remember asking things like “why are there bad people in the world?” and “why did god allow evil if he created everything?” I’ve also always had habits of clearing my throat, coughing, and sniffing repeatedly year round and people often ask if I’m okay or sick, and when they point it out I feel embarrassed.
I have a lot more examples but I’m just wondering if anyone has been diagnosed at an early age and had a similar experience or if this was something else? | OCD |
So I am currently taking Adderall however over the years I have noticed a decrease in efficiency as most people have. I spoke to my doctor and he said we could try some thing else I said OK so he wrote me a prescription to try of desoxyn, however the pharmacies I called were unable to get it. I asked my doctor if he knew of any pharmacies where I could get it but I have a feeling he will say no he does not. Given that, I will probably ask to try something different. I have seen and read a lot about modafinil and those types of meds. Is there anything you guys recommend I give a try over some other meds? Given that I’ve been on 30mg twice a day of adderall for over 10yrs I’m going to need something on the stronger side of the spectrum I believe.
Thanks | ADHD |
I was digging through my clean laundry basket looking for something to wear, when I noticed a mark on the top of my hand between my thumb and index finger. Now, I know it was just dry skin from my obsessive hand washing, but for some reason, My mind is convincing me it was something physically dirty on my hand, which isn’t even possible because I washed my hands right before digging through my laundry basket. Now, I am doing my best to rationalize the thought. I haven’t rewashed the clothes yet, I’m wearing them right now and feel fine, but I’m still being bugged by the thought.
I’m trying my best | OCD |
I really hate mint: mint cookies (except thin mints for some reason???), mint candy, peppermints, menthol cough drops and toothpaste. The last item is most troubling. Has anyone found a solution, different tooth paste or something? I don’t brush my teeth at night most of the time because I hate the taste so much and can’t fall asleep with it.
*edit* thank you so much for all the responses! I will look into anise and fruit flavored tooth paste!! | aspergers |
Hello everyone,
So i have POCD since 1 year know i got it working at a daycare, i always had OCD since i was young but this one really made me feel down.
It went worse and worse and the groinels around children killed me finally i went to a therapist turns out im not a P.
I did not started to feel better so i went to see a Shrink she prescribed me medicine also my blood pressure is 135 turnes out that's the reason i get groinels fast because im triggered really easy.
The medicine im gonna take are: QUETIAPINE SDZ 25 MG AND PAROXETINE SDZ 10 MG.
Does anyone have experiences with this? i hope its gonna help me. | OCD |
Ah yea the feeling of waking up!! All aware and good, feeling of being an absolute fucking failure floods back. Didn’t brush my teeth, binged and overate, feel like garbage, literally, and haven’t really slept good. Just waking up and feeling my fat shell of a body is enough to enrage me and hate life today. Wh. Can’t. I be . Normal!! I hate me. | depression |
Does anyone come up with their own “what if” thoughts? For example if you are worrying about something or have an irrational fear. Do you come up with your own “what if” scenarios in your head cause I seem to do it all the time? Is this normal?
Thanks | OCD |
Hi everyone!
I have moderate adhd and went on vyvanse a couple months ago to help me focus in my graduate program. The meds do wonders and I’ve never been able to accomplish so much in school. The only issue is that it makes me incredibly nauseous. I already have anxiety induced nausea/vomiting and the vyvanse just really increases that. My psychiatrist prescribed me zofran (anti-nausea) to help with this. I started reading a bit about it and i guess it’s mainly used for nausea in chemo patients. I was just wondering if anyone has ever tried this with their adhd medication and how effective it was. Also did you have any side effects?
Thanks for the help! | ADHD |
she have her own business and she needs workers and tbh it is my fault because when she called me for the offer i couldn't bring myself to say that i am not intersted, i felt physically unable to say no so i said yes and now i have to find an excuse to say that i am not intersted and i've been feeling super guilty and feeling like an irresponsible piece of shit, i am scared of the image she's gonna create about me and having intrusive thoughts about how her business is gonna fail and how she is going to go broke and be in debt somehow because of me, i know how irrational that sound but it is the reigning train of thoughts right now and i can't bring myslef out of it, i hate myself for this kind of behavior, i don't know what to do wih myself | OCD |
I’m tapering off of some meds right now and I’ve recently developed a crippling fear that I’m going to tweet out a horrible racial slur. Keep in mind, I’m not a racist person. I hate those weirds and never ever want to say them and never have, but I keep getting this horrifying fear that I’m going to say something on social media that will ruin my career. As I continue doing neurofeedback and tapering of the meds, I hope I improve, but I’m very scared. It’s hard to enjoy life. | OCD |
Hello,
Texas adult female looking for a GOOD ADHD specialist psychiatrist. I can't seem to find a psychiatrist that doesn't scratch their head on what to do with me. I have been treatment resistant so many, many things have not worked for me.
At this point, cost is not a concern. Looking for someone who will commit to learning my story, allow me to be an advocate for myself, and remain empathetic.
Thanks. | ADHD |
I just want to see what you guys do or try to do to break the cycle of when you get stuck inside your head when youre down.
Usually, i am able to manage by maybe playing a game or something but other times, the thoughts are so intense, i feel like my head wants to explode. When it gets too intense, i can feel my heart/chest fluttering intensifying the feeling. I have been sitting here at work trying to keep my mind off of my thoughts since I know it is probably all in my head (or not) either way, none if my usual tactics are working. Tried meditation and tried breathing exercises. I tried playing games, but i dont feel as motivated to even do that. Currently just listening to music and kind of thinking about just leaving my desk.
I had no where else to turn, so hopefully something here works.
#edit 1: Thank you to everyone who responded! Reading/trying some of the things you guys recommended has helped put me in a manageable mood. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Sometimes it can feel so unbelievably lonely even when I have support from friends/family because its just hard for them to relate.
#edit 2: wow this blew up, sorry if I dont reply to your comment, I will definitely read them all though! Thank you again. | ADHD |
Hi all, I am currently undiagnosed but highly suspect that I might have ADHD. I've been reading through many of the posts on this subreddit as well as doing other research and I definitely feel that I struggle with attentiveness and keeping interest in things. I find textbook reading extremely difficult as I always lose focus and I rarely get very far with the projects I set out to do, let alone come close to finishing them.
These are several other symptoms I see in myself, but one thing I don't seem to struggle with is time management. I have yet to find a single person with ADHD who doesn't struggle greatly with managing their time, it seems to almost be a defining feature of the disorder.
I struggle with social anxiety, so maybe that's what keeps me from missing appointments and due dates, but I would love to hear from anyone who is missing this symptom as well. Thanks! | ADHD |
So I was friends with a very bad person and they’ve traumatized me really bad. I don’t know what’s wrong with me I keep thinking about the same event multiple times I just get lost in my thoughts, then I feel angry then I calm down then I get numb. I don’t know what’s wrong with me I’ve been trying to move on with my life but idk why I just can’t seem to move on. I don’t know what I’ve become. It’s like I’m a semi sociopath. I crave power and control over my life but it just doesn’t happen. I don’t know how to move on. A bunch of wallstreet psychopaths/sociopaths messed around with my life and finances and I feel stuck. I feel powerless. I’ve lost faith in everything. It just seems like the world is run by a bunch of amoral corrupt psychopaths that want to prey on me for no reason. I was just a naive immigrant girl when I first met this person and now I just feel so disgusted, humiliated and traumatized by all the financial, emotional, and sexual abuse I’ve gone through.I don’t know why it happened to me. I’m always zoned out. I keep getting flashbacks of interactions with this person and it just hurts and triggers every time. She took my money to make herself richer while starving my family. I just wish I could be stronger. I feel worthless asf. I feel like a Hannah baker. | ptsd |
You see rich idiots all the time, they are either just plain lucky or were born into it. And sure many have worked hard to get there, but there is still a certain amount of universal luck to have the opportunity, to be born in the right circumstances to be able to work hard and obtain wealth or a good job.
I worked hard and I get thrown right off the stairs as soon as I get a few steps up. Like I'm cursed or meant to live a life of suffering. I'm 30 and my future isn't looking any brighter.
I make $11 and work hard labor at 30. I've tried to do better many, many times. At this point I'm tired of trying I've accepted my fate.
My heart is still beating but my soul died long ago.
I wish I was presented with the opportunity and circumstances that I could have a good life even for just a few years. I can't imagine a life where you wake up in the morning and are looking forward to the day ahead. | depression |
just woke up in the middle of the night from that dream he was so real that i hit the wall with my leg while sleeping (protecting myself in the dream), it was so scary and real i am terrified 😰 | ptsd |
Will i ever lead a happy life again?
Will i ever live like a normal 21 year old?
Will i ever be happy again?
I am so desperate and hopeless. | OCD |
Hi, I was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type by a psychologist. My GP said I have to start on a non-stimulant before trying a stimulant because that’s what he likes to do. This runs completely counter to what I have heard most doctors say—I thought stimulants were first line of treatment for ADHD?
Im in graduate school in a STEM subject and my ADHD is really setting me back. I did the neuropsychological testing, many interviews, waited months, and it all showed I have tremendous attention and concentration issues. Do most doctors try non-stimulants first?
I’m honestly confused. I don’t know if this is standard or if my doctor injecting his own biases into treatment. | ADHD |
I'm in the process of getting accommodations and I was told I would be able to record lectures and I assumed that meant I could film them but I've recently heard that I might only be allowed to record the audio. Being a visual learner, that seems really pointless to me especially considering my hardest classes are math classes where I would need to see what my professor is writing on the board.
Also, if anyone else does this, do you have any suggestions on how to go about doing it without taking up a ton of space on my phone? | ADHD |
I was watching The Conjuring with some friends and they were losing their shit. I was utterly bored. I then realized I’ve never been frightened by a horror movie. I prefer true crime shows, things of that nature, and I definitely get creeped out by the real bad guys in the world, but nothing supernatural has scared me. To add to this I live in what I believe to be a haunted house and the ghosts are probably tired of trying to freak me out. Gallon of juice fall on the floor without being touched? Weird but ok. Lights flashing? Ugh how annoying. You get the idea.
Anyone else have weird reactions to what should cause fear? | aspergers |
My husband and I were discussing many things over breakfast recently, and somehow the subject of happiness came up. Can’t remember how, but it led to me telling him I’m either happy or not happy, one of the two. I think it was because he was confused why I assumed he was upset when he said he wasn’t happy, I naturally assumed that if he wasn’t happy he had to be upset. Then he goes and blows my mind by telling me that for the majority of people, they go around feeling just “okay”. I said, “so they’re bummed? They’re upset? Like not angry, but kind of sad?” The sweet Saint of a man said, “nooo…they’re neither. They’re just, okay.”
Still didn’t understand. He equally was confused with me. I told him, if I’m not one, I’m the other. He asked, and I told him that even when I feel my version of “okay” I still have either joy in my heart/body, or a small amount of somberness or bummed out feeling.
This was blowing my mind still. I thought about what it must feel like to live in this middle ground he described, and I told him “ THAT SOUNDS SO BORING. Do most people go around living is this state of mind??” He said, “yup…”. Then he reluctantly nodded his head when I said, “that must be why my highs are so high and my lows are so low, I don’t have a middle ground state for emotions.”
Now this was just him telling me this, so I had to ask:
Does anyone else know this “okay” state he’s describing? How would you describe it? Do you not have a middle ground like me? | ADHD |
I'm terrible at calling people. If I need an appointment or have a quick question about somthing, I will always look for an E-Mail adress and wait a couple of days for a response even though calling them real quick will take only a few minutes instead of days. If I see someone's calling me I'd rather run away than picking up.
Does anyone feel the same way and did you learn to do better? Or do I have to accept that this is something that will always be a dread to me? | aspergers |
It hurts seeing a picture of my younger self. How my younger me didn't yet quite realize how traumatic and sad her childhood was. How I was fine being all alone and that it was okay to have no friends. After all I was still young, a kid. I always thought I would have close friends like Twilight from My little Pony or have fun sleep overs with friends or have adventures with friends... but I'm starting to realize now... my time is over. My childhood is coming to an end and nothing ever happened. Nothing. I felt/feel suck and trapped like Rapunzel in her tower.
i can't rewind time like Homura Akemi no matter how much I would wish for it. I can't kill myself, I promised it to friends I'm no longer close with, and I swore to never break promises to myself to stay true to myself but I'm just thinking... if I'm dead I can't break any promises. But I don't deserver to die or reincarnate or go to heaven or whatever happens after if I can't keep a promise.
And even if I would be able to go back in time there would be nothing I could do. Run away? Leave my sweet precious baby cat alone? I wouldn't want to change anything because what would my friends now do? What would happen to my best friend who would have had no one. No matter what choices you make they all end badly.
I just wish I could just adopt my younger self and let her now what it's like being loved, and cared for and make her her favourite food, support her interests and play with her games or have adventures.
I keep thinking of a part from the song "the haunting" by set it off:
- "No one will love you like I did. No one will treat you like I did."
I just think it's true, I mean out of context of the song because the song means something else probably. I think no one else will love you as much as you do yourself. No one else will be the closest person to you but yourself. No one else will treat you like you would.
It doesn't help that I have maladaptive daydreaming and each new day I continue a story line or whatever. It kept me happy all these years but reality isn't like that. I'm not a superhero with superpowers helping out the avengers. I'm not a young girl who lost her parents and gets adopted by bruce wayne and has loving brothers and sisters. I'm not a secret agent. I'm not in a tomb finding cool stuff or saving the world and I'm not a young woman who falls for a sweet rich guy in a coffee shop. I'm nowhere in this world and everything is bland and cold. And if I try to not daydream I'm slapped by reality in the face how everything is and never will be what I imagined it would be.
I don't want this life. Not mine. Not on this earth. I really wished I had someone who loved me dearly who I could touch or hug for centuries and everything could be silent and calming. I don't want to be filled with panic and anxiety. | depression |
So I was removed from my biological family at 2.5 years old due to abuse in every way, fast forward 19 years and I have my first child, my little girl that’s now 2.5 years herself. I am constantly paranoid that people will automatically think I’m a bad mum because of my past, my daughter is my world I do everything for her, I am more relaxed than my family (adoptive) when it comes to things like bed time and just not being so regimented about every aspect to her life. I think it’s important even at a young age she is also able to make some decisions (within reason such as whether she wants to go to her grandmas for a sleepover or if she wants to stay at home and not forcing her into situations she doesn’t like if she work up later so isn’t tired enough for nap then no nap simple usually means she will be tired and have a earlier bedtime). Because of this change of view on parenting already black sheeps me even more than I already am in my family.
So today I sent a photo of her happy and smiling having her lunch and my stepmother (she never had her own kids and her only experience is teenagers as she moved in when I was 13) commented that her hair is messy and I need to keep it neat and clean because she’s precious. I took it almost like I don’t brush her hair/keep her clean and don’t see her as precious. This was my interpretation of the message. But I do everything for my little girl, she is cared for with brushed hair, clean clothes everyday and so on. She is my absolute world and nothing is more important than her happiness and health. I already struggle enough feeling inadequate because of my past even though my little girl has only known love. I cried a little afterwards but played it off cool in the chat because I don’t want to cause drama. Just really upset me, I’m now in the worst mood and feel very depressed by the past and the feeling of inadequacy has just skyrocketed. Am I over reacting? Is this even trigger worthy? Just makes me feel like utter crap :/ | ptsd |
I'm 22, in my final year of uni. My dissertation draft deadline is tomorrow and of course I have nothing to show for it yet. I always do this to myself but this year in particular I'm just frozen from fear. I've been putting off research and stuff for my diss' partly because I'm worried that I'm being dumb by not choosing a topic thats related to my degree. Everyone says thats fine but I'm anxious, but I still really like my topic and think its a great idea.
I have my ADHD support in place, but my mentor isn't that good for me. She was helpful earlier on in my degree but now I feel like she just lists of motivational buzz-words and phrases, and does that thing that counsellors/psychologists do where they ask you really obvious questions like "So if you know theres no benefit to worrying, then why are you doing it?" Like?? because I have anxiety? Thats not a great example but I feel very often with mental health professionals (I never know the right term to use for counsellor-type people, sorry!) that they ask me very patronising questions as if they're explaining to a 5 year old why not to do something. Maybe thats just a pet peeve with me.
But yeah I'm incredibly alone and stressed out right now and I just need to vent in a space where people will hopefully relate to me more, having ADHD, because it does make things harder. I had two close friends a few weeks ago, we'd been friends for the duration of uni. One friend I have completely cut off bc I realised she was incredibly toxic and was lying to cause tension between me and the second friend. The second friend is my flatmate and we're still close, but he's been deported and cant return until January because the UK hates immigrants. So I also can't really talk to him too much about my struggles because how are you going to moan about your life to someone who has just straight up been told to pack his stuff and get out of the country with about two weeks notice?
I'm already very behind and I keep getting sick which is not helping my work or my stress levels. I've just come out the other end of a horrific flu and it was so bad I sent off a covid test, which I'm waiting on the results for. I've told my uni tutors about this potential covid issue, but hopefully I won't need to miss any more uni than I already have. I just feel like theres so many things going wrong at the moment, and I'm tired, and sad, and sick, and terrified.
Anyway...I should know better than to post an essay on the ADHD subreddit, shouldn't I! I don't read posts this long bc my brain wont let me lol | ADHD |
I keep forgetting new rules at work and its super frustrating. I keep asking for these to be written down so I have them in text, and I take endless notes myself whenever I can and make a sort of "follow-these-steps" rule book for myself. But some things are just expected that you remember when said verbally, but then months go by without having to do that task at all - so when I go ahead and do it again the old pattern of doing it is what I will do, because the verbal note of the new way of doing it is long gone.
I keep doing this, and I don't know how to fix it. Any advice? | aspergers |
My almost 15 yo brings food and dishes into his room and bathroom (sneaks them in). I’ve tried everything (it seems) to discourage that (eat anywhere but your room; food is always available), to remind him to clean up, to help put it away etc. We have an ant problem so I don’t want them finding their way into his room, among other issues. I’ve tried cleaning the entire thing up. I’ve tried leaving it all for him to put away (doesn’t happen). I’ve tried throwing half of it in hopes he gets the message. I fear I am not teaching him anything by being “his maid”.
How do you help someone help themselves put garbage away? He will say “ok”. Or “I’ll do it” but never does until he gets mad that I’ve reminded him one too many times and now I’m nagging.
I don’t aim to win. I just aim for him to keep a clean room. Not immaculate just enough so it doesn’t look like a trash bin spilled in there. I hope he learns the value of cleanliness / good hygiene before he’s out and on his own in the world :( | ADHD |
Hi all! I wasn't sure how better to phrase the title, but what I'm trying to ask is does taking a stimulant make your ADHD worse when you're not on it? I was watching a PsychedSubstance video on YouTube and he (while yes, I know this isn't the best source, but it gave me a curiosity for the concept) mentioned how his ADHD got worse when he wasn't medicated, after he had taken it for the first time, IIRC.
Is this a thing? I tried to do some research but didn't know what to search for. Any key words for a google search, sources/articles, or otherwise (preferably cited, though I'm open to anecdotal) input would be greatly appreciated! | ADHD |
Hey everyone, I’m in need of some advice. I recently started seeing a psychiatrist because I suspected I had ADHD. I’ve seen her twice so far. She does think I have it, but she also says she doesn’t think everything needs labels, and she said "big pharma is very disappointing when it comes to psychiatric meds”.
I’m at loss here as she wants to treat it by seeing each other once a month, and she’s making me write a schedule of what I’m gonna do every day and send it to her for approval. It feels like I’m being treated as a child, and is really unhelpful. She also asked me what I was doing here (semi-jokingly) because I’m doing well in school, so what could possibly be the problem.
I know hoping for a quick fix can be unrealistic, but ADHD is supposed to be very treatable with medicine and I was really hoping for a prescription. This is also costing me a lot (250 per appointment).
Should I just stop going? If so, do I have to send her an email? Do I go see someone new?
I’m at loss here.
Thanks for any insight you might have! | ADHD |
In late 2020, I got assessed by IAPT in the UK and I am not getting CBT treatment for OCD.
The CBT therapist told me that I am not officially diagnosed but I’m still getting treatment for OCD.
How do I get diagnosed, should I contact my GP or ask my therapist?
Thank you | OCD |
Do any of you have trouble with solely focusing on memories where you feel that you must have felt attracted to the same sex in that moment? Even though when you are clear minded you realize that you didn’t have those thoughts back then but it’s your OCD telling you this?
Also my OCD seems to have me focus on memories when I haven’t been as turned on or “boy crazy” and it associates that with me possibly being a lesbian, but then when I’m clear minded I think of those crushes I had growing up and so on.
Anyone feel the same? | OCD |
I'm really stuck at the moment. I need to find a new job as I feel my old job is going to let me go and the thought of going back there at the moment is just too much. The whole place is such a huge negative environment and I'd been trying to get out long before the OCD kicked off badly. I've been on sick leave for my second miscarriage this year. We have since stopped trying because, as my past therapist said, OCD is a trauma response to the miscarriages/any trauma I have been through.
Now I either need to apply for a new job and risk having another OCD obsession pop.up or be too overwhelmed or take a break from work and apply for pip until I am either 1. Stable enough to start CBT or start a job or 2. Have started uni and recieveing payments from uni. My actual occupation that I want in the future has little to no triggers and having been in the environment before and feeling comfortable it will be great when I am actually qualified to do my desired job, but for now, so much has gone on this year, the 2 miscarriages, the OCD flare ups. My fiancé makes enough to pay his bills. Could I possibly make a claim for pip that I am currently struggling to work with my disorder? I think the money would cover the bare minimum, meaning my bills and food? I really don't know what to do. Thanks for any advice in advance | OCD |
Hello all, I’m coming to you in a desperate state of vulnerability. Over a year ago my depression built up during a college musical I was cast in that I didn’t tackle right away, it built up so much that I ended up transferring in hopes that a new environment would be the key. I instead felt pressure to be serious all the time to make the transfer ‘valid’ and in doing so lost touch with what made being a creative fun! After one semester at the college I transferred to, the anxiety and depression were only worse, and after a horrific roommate incident, I dropped out completely. I’ve been in a deep wave of depression and anxiety since then, battling with my self-love and my inner critics with a longing to simply feel placid, Ive talked myself in and out of every career since then and now I am just left wondering, as a theatre kid creative with a love of art, what is a good next step for me? Do I go back to college for theatre, even now as it’s not my main passion anymore? Do I go for art, as it’s the only thing my body does creatively anymore? Am I meant for college at all anymore and should I just find a creative community and make the most of social networking? I’m tired of being tired, I have burnout from being burned up, and I feel such pressure to make my next step worth the cost. PLS HELP. ❤️ | depression |
Ok so idk what’s going on with me but tonight has been confusing weird feelings and everything more I think I may have just had a panic attack or a anxiety attack or maybe something like that I’m kind of calmer now I’m 15 btw and I have been dealing with these thoughts since the start of this year and recently things haven’t been like terrible but not great I don’t know what to feel anymore I don’t know what I feel half the time I’m scared incase I want to be a pedophile and the thing is I dont ever feel an actual emotion about anything anymore like sometimes I actually have to convince myself for atleast hours and keep telling myself I don’t want to be a pedophile or that I’m not a pedophile but still even then I don’t feel like an actual emotion lately it’s just been like pit feelings and weird feelings in my stomach that I can’t tell if are fear panic or excitement,but tonight I have felt weird and not right and it’s like idk if it’s fear or something but basically I just didn’t know what to do or how to feel and it’s like I kinda feel like I’ve lost control of how to feel because I know I don’t want to be a pedophile but my emotions and feelings don’t match my thoughts and it’s just annoying and I wanted to cry earlier and I couldn’t then I searched it up and seen that it could be some sort of emotional numbness but the thing is that I don’t know what it is and I feel like I can’t explain it right so I will never know what it is but I need to say something but I ended up crying and I thought okay
This is good I’m letting my emotions out and then the next minute i felt my chest and my heart was racing and the thing was I didn’t feel like it was racing and then the next minute I said to myself I don’t want to be a pedophile but like my brain was like yea you do and then I felt like I got happy about being a pedophile and then I was like no no no and I felt like i almost put myself into this panic and fear and now I’m very sweaty and my heart is still kind of going fast but I really don’t know how to explain it all it was a very big mix of feelings and I can’t really remember everything in exact detail or the thoughts and it weird because it just happened like 10 minutes ago but all i could think was what the fuck is going on right now liek what am I feeling what is happening and I kept saying I don’t want to be a pedophile,but also another thing it’s like sometimes when I feel like I want to cry about this full thing with the Pocd it’s like I almost go to cry but then stop and idk why but ny brain usually says to me aw ur not crying about this cause ur not upset about being a pedophile and then I end up being like no shut up i am and it’s like another thing I have been thinking is do I need to accept that I am a pedo but I usually feel very weird about that like almost kinda what I just felt during that big thing whatever that was and then I have to be like no no no cause it’s like I don’t feel fear but I just don’t want to be a pedophile and I’m just feeling confused and everything and i just need to know if this feeling is normal or this experience is normal but yes can someone plz help me or give me someone to talk to about this cause I really need to talk to someone who knows about this stuff cause it’s like I’m really just not feeling okay atm and I need help or something | OCD |
What paper works best for you— plain, dotted, lined, square?
1. What system (if any) do you use, and how have you adapted it to suit you?
2. Am I the only person who feels self-conscious while journaling my day? I suddenly feel all 13 and “this is dumb”, and get embarrassed EVEN THOUGH I AM ALONE.
3. Do you ever feel your brain goes too for your hand to capture your thoughts? Have you ever managed to deal with that
4. Lastly, and weirdly, which hand do you write with?
Not research, am just nosy.
I’m left-handed, and moving from a trad bullet journal to a Hobonichi-style 6-ring binder planner means
- I don’t have to mess around with layouts
- moving dot-grid to square-grid was s revelation
- i can move pages as I need to.
Thank you!
Just curious. I go square-grid to control the VERTICAL and the HORIZONTAL.
edit: oops | ADHD |
Hi everyone
Has anyone else had major troubles committing to weight loss?
I’ve been self-conscious my entire life and always been on a “weight loss journey” it seems.
I lost about half a stone summer 2020 after I started running during lockdown (here, in the UK) and felt and looked amazing, but have since gained it all back.
I sit there and make plans for myself, screenshot motivational quotes, follow fitness girls on Instagram and still end up bingeing on sugar, failing to go to the gym, and self-sabotaging.
I desperately want to feel comfortable in my body and be fit, but I can never stick to my routine!!! Anyone have any advice?! | ADHD |
I never really understood what dissociating is like even after reading about it and would appreciate some advice or your own experiences if you feel comfortable.
When I first started having sex it was random hookups. I was really hypersexual and easily gave in even if I didn’t necessarily wanted to.
I noticed that I would kind of go numb during sex? Not so much my body, I would feel everything, but emotionally I numb out. It’s like my mind goes into this box and I can see everything that’s happening and respond but nothing can get to me in the box. I feel like I would go on auto pilot and just moan or react in a way the other person wants me to. When we’d go to switch positions I would feel so emotionally numb and my face feels like it can’t move, and my eyes feel hollow and blank like I’m in this trance.
I also have such a hard time talking during sex. Sometimes it feels like I just can’t get words out loud enough. You know like in a dream when you’re trying to scream but it only comes out as a whisper.
I’ve been battling for so long between is this dissociating and suggesting CSA, or was I just not really into the person and had this experience bc I just didn’t want to have sex. I have past physical and emotional abuse so maybe it’s that?
I’ve been with some significant others, and have had some positive experiences now, but still from time to time I find myself slipping into this robot mode and it kinda scares me. | ptsd |
I'm 16 F if that matters-
I have intrusive thoughts about multiple things, such as fearing I'm a p\*do, fearing I'm into inc\*st, and a few others...
I tend to try and check how these things make me feel, which apparently is a compulsion, and when I first was getting groinal sensations I was horrified. Those feelings still horrify me... I didn't know what was happening the first day I got them and I was terrified that I was a gross person, so I looked some stuff up. That's when I realized I might possibly have ocd, from the research I did.
I hate being near children, I get groinal sensations around them sometimes and it scares me so much, I avoid being near children as much as possible because of it. It's a bit sad because a neighbor moved in somewhat recently and has a younger son and has other kids occasionally visit them, like their family members and such, and now I don't wanna be near them, in fear of those sensations.
I have other thoughts but those are harder to explain... it's been hard to research whether I have ocd because a lot of the stuff is about obsessions about cleaning, contamination, and stuff like that, which I don't have at all... I have a counselor but I'm scared to mention this stuff to her because of the taboo topics involved.
These things have made me cry so many times.. could I possibly have ocd?? | OCD |
I'm disabled, un-employable as a result of the disability, and I have no idea how to spend my time.
Basically everyone tells me to volunteer but all I seem to be cut out for us a "receptionist" and I HATE it and find it immasculating since the overwhelming majority of receptionists are female.
Also, I've lost any interest in learning NEW skills due to depression and lack of getting anywhere in life despite having spent 8 years in community college getting a 2 year degree that taught me no discernable skills because of a shitty guidance counselor. | depression |
Tried working out. Running. Felt good.
Meditating. Good.
But nothing feels .. great until you’re awake that one day in months.. can’t fight the truth. Depressed is me. Will book a session. | depression |
seriously?
Sometimes it feels like reassurance while you are doing something productive.
It can be hard to find the difference. | OCD |
They broke. They fucking broke. What the fuck do I do. I think I might kill myself . My mom knows nothing and is waiting for my dad to get home from Florida ON FRIDAY to get them fixed. What the fuck do I do. Help I need tips on how to deal with this this is a major emergency.
UDPATE: I’m getting them fixed tomorrow, till then I’m using earplugs but I still miss music lol. I know I sounded like a whiny brat but I was in a lot of panic and thank you all for your help!! :D | aspergers |
Yeah, you, looking at the screen. You WILL go to therapy. You WILL get better. You WILL live a normal life again. OCD won't be the end of you. You are NOT a monster. Your thoughts DON'T define you. You are brave as hell for living with this, and I salute you. Things WILL get better.
And to finish off with a Rocky quote: "GET UP, YOU SON OF A BITCH, CAUSE MICKEY LOVES YA!" | OCD |
Hi everyone, I need your help on an issue I've been dealing swth since graduation (2017). Ever since I've graduated, my life has almost felt stagnant. However, I'm going to school pursuing my BA, I have a loving family and friends, but I can't shake this feeling of "how things used to be". I'm 22 now, and I find myself reflecting on when I was younger, and its been almost obsessive to the point where I'm anxious to try new experiences. I understand it isn't healthy, I've been coping with weed since I've graduated. I look back on my HS days with disappointment, I was portrayed a fool based on all my actions. Moreover, this has turned into a vicious cycle of what I did enjoy about HS, and what I wish I could have changed. For example, my town knew me as this loser guy who would always blackout at parties. I still had friends during this time, but it left a stain on my existence which follows me wherever I go. Idk... life is just moving really fast, and I'm afraid my obsessive behavior regarding the past will hinder my future endeavors. At this point, I just need advice from someone who is feeling this way now, or has at some point. | depression |
So my luck has never been what I would call great. I always seem to get screwed over randomly. To start with I use to take care of my mom who had early onset dementia. She wasn’t super bad just forgetful and scatter brained at times . Around the time when covid started to become worrisome and then lock down occurred I was very worried for my mom. Her health wasn’t the greatest so I was always on her about wearing her mask when out and using hand sanitizer. Well everything was fine til they started to lift lock down in the summer at the end of June and I could return to my job . I ended up catching it and did my best to self isolate but it wasn’t good enough. She ended up catching it from me and passing 18 days later. I ended up going through long term covid symptoms that ended up in being miss diagnosed and then forced back to work even though I couldn’t walk 30 feet without breathing extremely hard. I ended up passing out at work and rushed to the hospital. I was then diagnosed with multiple blood clots in both my lungs . So I went back out on sick leave but due to my jobs policy’s I had to file for social security disability. And until their determination I was not paid . Fast forward 4 months and I have returned back to work but I have used all my savings and lost my home and had to move 45 min away in order to keep my moms dogs . With the sale of my home coming up all the guilt and stress of finances have finally broken me . I cry almost daily and often fantasize about just throwing in the towel. I have never been one to quit when things get tough but I just feel like there is no hope. I have 2 sisters but they honestly could care less about me unless it benefits them. I’m all alone. Even when I had to clean out my moms house they didn’t help, I begged them and was told they have bad memories there so they were not stepping one foot near there. So I’m at a loss I don’t have anyone I can talk to and all my feelings are just eating me up. I have been looking for a therapist. I just thought I would reach out and see what others thought. | depression |
I thought I could take a nap and just sleep through this bullshit, but apparently not. I got woken up from that nap, even with my fan on the highest setting possible and my weighted blanket on me. I just... Why do they have to continue with the fireworks until well into the nighttime/midnight? I want to go back to sleep so badly, man. | ptsd |
In my last speech class, that professor laughed when I showed the "DSPS document". He responded, "what kind of help do you need?" And he never read my cap again. This is the fact that people always push away the thing that they do not like; like saying, no problem and everything is perfect. In the end, that problem creates another problem.
In the last two speeches, I failed. I failed because I was facing the board in the speech. For the second one, I was so panic from my disability. Sometimes professors grade people by their disability just like a handicapped person got a grade from his or her running class. The result is that the professor did not feel comfortable with me because he or people always still push away the thing that they do not like, or even judge about them as bad. That is why we have the majority and problem from it. | ptsd |
I just feel like gradually over the years I’ve lost the ability to see any point to anything. It all just feels meaningless. Everything I do is just a pointless distraction and nothing is really even enjoyable for more than a fleeting few seconds.
I think it’s happened as I’ve grown up and experienced most of those things you hope for as a kid and I guess I’m just realising that none of them actually mean anything at all.
Things like drinking, an experience that turned out to be worthless because I don’t have or really want any friends and drinking by myself just turned me into a sad alcoholic, got to the point where I was drinking at least a bottle of spirits a day all alone because I didn’t want to ever be sober again. Gave that up now and I don’t see the point in drinking ever again, although the urge to numb out still gets hard to resist sometimes.
Having my own money is pointless too, even despite the fact that it goes mostly on bills and rent. What am I gonna do with it? Back when I was a stupid kid I used to think I’d buy all this stupid garbage I wanted like games, which I barely enjoy anymore, or whatever food I wanted, which I only enjoy for a second before I just regret even eating the extra calories and so now I just don’t bother eating food I enjoy cause it’s not worth it. Only reason I could think of to want money at this point is to build a house as far away from this shit as possible but even then, it wouldn’t actually give me any real freedom, this world still has everyone by the balls.
One of the last major hurdles I crossed was finally getting laid, pretty stupid but I guess the way people talk about it makes you think it’s gonna be some life changing experience but it isn’t at all. It’s honestly not worth the effort. Most of the time I barely even get started before I’m just fucking bored and I just want the girl I’m with to just leave so I can go back to being alone, even though that’s no better cause at my core I’m still massively lonely.
Just so many shitty experiences built up over the years, my childhood sucked, my family sucks, I’ve hated every job I’ve ever had, I hate being around people, hate being alone, only ever had one real friend and I ruined that cause I relied on her too much, fell in love with her and she didn’t feel the same way so the friendship fell apart. That was also my first and only experience with love, so another naive childhood wish that turned out to be completely fucked in reality.
I just don’t see the point to doing anything at all really anymore. I just feel like I have a complete inability to feel any kinda pride or satisfaction from anything at all. Even had to take an employer to court earlier this year over wage theft and unfair dismissal, did so well arguing the case all by myself without any representation (a union guy was supposed to rep me but ghosted on the actual court date) that apparently I personally pissed off the millionaire who owned the company and cause him to throw a tantrum in front of his lawyer when the lawyer said they’d have to pay me. But it still didn’t make me feel anything at all. Nothing does.
I’ve just lost all my drive, all my passion. My life just feels totally bleak like all the color has been sucked out and nothing brings it back. | ptsd |
Even if it is -200 degrees outside, I refuse to wear long sleeve shirts. They’re just really uncomfortable in a way I can’t quite describe. I am, however, fine with some long sleeve jackets since the sleeves tend to have more room inside and don’t “grab” onto my arms as much. | aspergers |
Today was a good Friday, woke up bodily fresh and mentally tired (just like most Fridays) work day was long but for the most part enjoyable and the thought of going to my first MMA training just after was a great boost. Then came a minor change of plans (actually a payment method (they accepted only cash)) which in turn launched yet another anxiety attack. It was a solid one, almost made me cry. That anxiety stayed for an hour, lasted even through meeting a friend right before the training and went away only after we started physically training. It came back right after we stretched and headed to change. Lasted for another thirty minutes or so and now the anxiety is slowly going away. This left me thinking:
Do you think it's possible that the anxiety was worse than usual because of the imbalance between my physical and mental energy levels? | aspergers |
Starting sertraline today, any advice/experiences with it? I’m 17 (nearly 18) and have never had antidepressants before, only CBT. | OCD |
A bit of a background: I’m currently sleeping on my dads porch bc I’m in between apartments and he lives in a one bed one bath and his girlfriend doesn’t like me so I’m not allowed to sleep inside + there isn’t really room.
So today I tried to donate plasma for pocket money and was unable to because they were unable to find the vein in my arm (other arm has a bruise from previous donation) and I told my dad I was upset because I have no money and really needed that. He asked where all my money goes (I make 100 each donation) and I told him it goes to good and gas
It take $40 to fill my tank and then I can’t use their kitchen so I have to buy food each meal so it adds up. Granted I don’t eat three course meals or even three times a day but minimum order is $10. I also have to buy water if I can’t always fill up my water inside so that adds up too and it’s stressful:/.
I just feel like he doesn’t understand that I can’t just sit on the money I get from plasma :/ I don’t have a fridge and can’t use theirs so I can’t buy food that will last or like groceries and then all leftover money goes to gas.
I have a savings that I currently put all the money I make from work in for the apartment I’m getting into and promised myself not to go into it because I know if I use it once it will become a habit.
This is turning into a ramble so I’m gonna stop here but yeah I’m moving soon so that’s exciting and I’m grateful but atm I really hate spending so much on food and having periods of time with no money. | depression |
I am asking because I read stuff on this sub about "sooner the better" all the time, and I wonder if it would be that life changing. I still haven't told my parents about the possibility of this, I'm pretty sure they don't even know what ADHD means, and not that they wouldn't take it seriously, but at the same time I don't think they would.
I have always been the kid with good grades, and I still am, but I have noticed that I always had a problem with studying and concentrating on a subject. It kinda affects my life now because soon I'm graduating and I don't know if I can go through with that with good grades.
I don't really know what a diagnosis consists of, or even what it costs afterwards. We don't really have a lot of money so it is definitely a concern.
Can you guys please help me out with some advice? I really don't know what to do or how to go at it. | ADHD |
im on 20mg of vyvanse, been on it for a while and it seems like every time i take it, about two hours later i feel high and out of it for a while, before getting stiff(in the neck, jaw and fingers specifically) and hot for the rest of my day.
my vision during the high also tends to blur, my eyes struggle to focus and ive gotten tunnel vision in the past.
anyone else get these symptoms?? tbf i struggle with paranoia so i could just be overthinking and convincing myself im experiencing all this when im actually not D:
i also plan to bring this all up to my psych next time i see him !! i just wanted to know if other people were experiencing similar things | ADHD |
I was so close with my last OD. If I knew then what my life would be like for the past 5 years and the foreseeable future I would have bailed out of therapy and jumped off a high rise. Find a suitable roof when my cats eventually pass, o don't trust anyone to treat them properly even though I can barely manage it. And if im dead I won't be a burden on people anymore. Non existence is so much better than a life of disability and poverty. | depression |
I’ve grown tierd, my dreams are noting but ash, my reality a mocory of my once grand aspirations, all I’m left with is compliance, just having to settle for how week of mind and body I really am, I tier of it, the charade, the years spent, depresion coming and going, never rid of it, never free, what I can aspire to is frighteningly little, so why aspire at all, I am a dead end, at lest my brother turned out to be a success, unlike his failure of a younger brother, I can’t take it anymore, nobody will listen or can help me, not even the doctors could do what hope is there ? No better to end it will I still have some dignity | depression |
Me and my ex dating for 2.5 years and then one night he went crazy and checked himself into a mental hospital. After he got released from the hospital he sent me a text breaking up with me. It’s been a couple of months since the break up text and we have spoken periodically. He says that he can’t be with me because he is depressed, he will only bring me down and that I should move on. This all happened so suddenly because I never saw this coming nor had any idea he struggled with suicidal thoughts. He was diagnosed with clinical depression and intermittent anger disorder and has constant suicidal thoughts. He is going to therapy twice a week and is currently on medication. After some conversations he says that he doesn’t regret the break up, that he loves me and that even if he gets better he probably will want to still be alone. He’s also going out a lot, hanging with friends, drinking, and talking to other women. He’s been honest with me. Right now I am his “friend” (his request), but I love him and hope that we can find our way back together. We’ve hooked up a couple of times and still talk here and there as I am the only person who truly knows and understands him.
Do you think he will ever want to get back together? Should I move on or stay in his life, supporting him as friend in hopes that we might be able to get back together?
I know that this won’t happen over night, but I can’t let him go nor can I help but hope we can get back together. I’m willing to wait but am I wasting my time? | depression |
Do you ever feel like you have to constantly convince yourself that your trauma has happened? I know it has and I know that it’s valid, but sometimes it feels far away enough that I can tell myself that it’s “easy” to get over, but of course every time I try to tell myself to get over it, that doesn’t resolve anything. In all honesty, I guess I’m just still in denial about what happened and although I don’t expect to ever forget it- I really don’t know how to function without thinking about it. What do I take away from it? Am I just supposed to move on? I don’t want to pity myself but it feels nearly impossible to not go a day without thinking about the trauma or trying my hardest to repress/avoid it. | ptsd |
I am feeling pretty upset about Elijah McClain's death and the lack of accountability for it. McClain died as a result of an interaction with police in August 2019 in Aurora, Colorado. A report came out [three days ago](https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/02/23/elijah-mcclain-investigation/) saying that the police had "no legally justified reason to stop, frisk or use multiple chokeholds on McClain." (Quote is from article not from report.)
These were his last words, which were recorded by police body cam audio: "I can't breathe. I have my ID right here. My name is Elijah McClain. That's my house. I was just going home. **I'm an introvert. I'm just different.** That's all. I'm so sorry. I have no gun. I don't do that stuff. I don't do any fighting. **Why are you attacking me?** I don't even kill flies! I don't eat meat! But I don't judge people, I don't judge people who do eat meat. Forgive me. All I was trying to do was become better. I will do it. I will do anything. Sacrifice my identity, I'll do it. You all are phenomenal. You are beautiful and I love you. Try to forgive me. I'm a mood Gemini. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Ow, that really hurt! **You are all very strong.** Teamwork makes the dream work. Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to do that. I just can't breathe correctly."
I bolded a few phrases that seem particularly likely to me to be uttered by a person with Aspergers.
I haven't found a definitive source saying that Elijah McClain had Aspergers, but this [BBC article](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-56134565) says McClain had ASD. If McClain did have ASD and that is a matter of public record, then I am not sure why it is not reported more widely -- the fact that the BBC article mentions it seems unusual in reporting about McClain.
I understand Aspergers as corresponding to a pattern of behaviors, which can make it hard to diagnose even if you have lots of information about a person, and I don't have a ton of information about Elijah McClain. But it sure seems likely to me, and I'm wondering what y'all think. | aspergers |
I found a grounding technique called the 5 senses that worked. But I want to know how you guys cope with it, maybe I’ll find a better way to deal :) | ptsd |
I've been fine all month, infact I've been great, then boom, one trigger and I got so stressed out I couldn't function and wanted to cry.
What on earth is happening... | ptsd |
Let me start off my saying I’m an 18 y/o woman.
I tried going to in person college for a day, and literally couldn’t handle it. So I’m back at home now doing a program to get some college credits. The more I think, the more I realize that I just don’t value college. I think it’s unnecessary unless you know exactly what you want to do like teaching, law, or STEM. I don’t know what I want to do. I have a small business, but don’t make enough to support myself on my own and have quality of life. There’s nothing I’m interested in that will actually pay enough to be livable on. I tried coding, it was okay but it’s a lot. I’m a good writer. Looked into copywriting, but there mostly freelance jobs that aren’t salary based.
Does anyone have any tips? I feel hopeless. | aspergers |
It took me until the last year of high school to figure out what was wrong with me. Up until then, I didn't even realise I had a problem, I always thought I was just lazy and wasn't putting enough effort in, and I just needed to stop being a bad student and do the schoolwork and I'd be fine.
One of the only times I managed to articulate that I was struggling was when I warned my English teacher. I told her "I struggle with procrastination", hoping it'd help explain my behaviour a bit. She told me "like all teenagers, then?" and proceeded to be one of the most scornful teachers when I was clearly unable to organise my schoolwork, pay attention, or do things in a timely manner. If she'd recognised my symptoms, or at least acknowledged that was a call for help, things might have gone a lot more smoothly for me in my last few years of school.
Fuck you, Ms Johnson, I hope no other student with an undiagnosed disorder suffered under your care.
PS: "Ms Johnson" wasn't actually her name, I don't remember what it was lol. The title just wouldn't work otherwise, and frankly I can't be arsed putting in the effort for her. (Plus privacy issues) | ADHD |
I recently started taking adderal again, after being off meds for 10 years. My stomach hurts after taking adderal, about a half hour after taking it. It's an every day thing and I've tried it on empty stomach and full stomach and I don't see a difference. Is it a common side effect? How do you deal with it? | ADHD |
I got diagnosed with aspergers back in 2017, and I've tried hard this year to find a way to live life with as few stress factors as possible, because I'm sick of dealing with mental health issues because of the constant stress in my life. One of the things that stresses me the most is the way my family (mostly my sister and mom) are perceiving my diagnosis. They don't believe I'm struggling, and they keep giving me advice that won't help me like pressuring myself into doing activities I don't have the energy to do, because "relaxing and charging up my battery won't do me any good". Then ever I try to tell them about my struggles and needs they'll tell me that "I'm making my diagnosis seem worse than it really is", and "the way I'm handling it isn't they right way to do it". How do I get through to them? What is the right approach? Any advice? | aspergers |
Starting the assessment process next week. They mentioned they couldn't do the ADOS during the pandemic so they opted for the MIGDAS/Monteiro interview and ADI-R. Information seems scarce, especially for the MIGDAS unless you are a clinician.
Any information or experience with these two assessments would be appreciated, I've suspected I fall somewhere on the spectrum for many years now (26 y/o trans male).
Thanks!! | aspergers |
Hi, today I feel much better and haven’t had the thoughts and am so happy everything is normal with my mother. But I was thinking, was it all ocd before? Because I kept thinking I was attracted to my own mother and liked it but I thinking I didn’t like it? I think ocd does that to you where you get confused but I never want to experience those thoughts again.
But I’m scared that they’ll come back and I will want to.
As a straight girl who has had also had HOCD, I was wondering if this meant anything for my sexuality too. | OCD |
I had to beg my “friend” to stop talking to my rapist and she said she will stop talking to him as much. I cried to my mom and told her it hurts to see my entire family talk to him like nothing ever happened and she just said well you were both kids so it doesn’t count.
I was 5! He was 12!
do you know how hard it is having to beg who you thought was your friend to not talk to your brother because he raped you when you were 5. And for her to not care.
I have no one. Not a single person in my life I can talk to. My mom just gets mad and says “well what do you want me to do about it?
If I had a kid and someone touched them I would be in jail right now for murder. All my friends have left me, I’m so fucking lonely.
My mom gets mad at me when I pull away from a hug because I can’t be touched. I’ve explained that to her and you want to know her response?
Just get over it.
I’ve been molested twice by two disgusting guys and not a single person in my life has left them for me.
I’m adopted and just found out I was going to go to another person in my bio family but it didn’t work out. I wish I did go to them. My life would have been so much better.
I’m graduating soon and when I do I’m out of this shit hole.
I don’t know what to do. I need advice. | ptsd |
When they don’t see me as depressed, friends and coworkers typically describe me as bubbly, happy, fun…
I just got a new job that pays way more. I just got engaged. If I look at my life logically I know “I have it good”.
In reality I sleep every second I don’t absolutely have to do something. I don’t shower for days, drink so fucking much, have outbursts of anger way too often, sleep more, and contemplate about the possibility of dying all too often.
From the outside and honestly in reality I have a good life. I still struggle with depression hardcore for no “legitimate” reason. Depression can supersede logic and circumstance and it can turn that guilt of knowing things are “good” and not appreciating it into a fucking black hole.
Guilt sucks. Knowing people use “depression” for sympathy sucks. Having gone to therapy and being on medication and still dealing with depression sucks.
Oh also the woman who raised me died this week. Fuuuun.
How tf do I become healthier? | depression |
I’ve learned that my obsessive and intrusive thoughts are OCD. This is new to me. It had never occurred that I had a mental illness.
Much of the day I am plagued by thoughts of the either A.) past or B.) intrusive thoughts of unpleasant things. I’m hardly ever in the present moment. My thoughts about the past involve shameful or embarrassing things I have done. I relive those moments repeatedly and I obsess over how the other person had reacted or might have felt. Like I am reliving moments in a loop and I can observe it from every perspective. It is torture.
It gets tough to muscle through the day with this burden. I need to find some way to alleviate that is not eating or mindlessly scrolling the internet. I exercise sometimes and have hobbies, which do allow a small degree of distraction temporarily. | OCD |
So my parents have a cat, and I haven’t seen it in about 3 weeks or more. I recently saw it and I really didn’t recognize it’s appearance. Is this normal? Do I have dementia? | OCD |
Does it get easier? Is there any way to combat this? It’s like I don’t want to do anything besides the compulsion, finding it hard to focus on other things. Sometimes i’ll sleep just as something low effort to do where i won’t feel this way and be able to pass time | OCD |
I have only recently learnt that i most likely have ADHD, and I'm learning how so much how i live and cope has been dictated by it. I am fairly social, work in a very people oriented job, and have been what can be called more or less academically successful. But I've always felt that despite all the friends i have and the people i meet and even have meaningful conversations with, i am always in a way, alone. Like i am and will forever tread this world in this fundamental solitude. Is this a shared experience among others with ADHD as well? | ADHD |
Although I get hungry, I just don't have the will to eat as much as I should.
I skip breakfast few days a week , no lunch( popcorn sometimes or maybe an orange) and one piece of bread in dinner .
I have depression episodes, I cry for no reason ...
I want to be skinny , so skinny that anyone who sees me gets worried what happened. I am overweight currently.
I have no job, no friends ... I self harm( burn myself, scratch myself, hit my head) .... Sometimes I eat Paracetamol pill for no reason , I am losing faith in everything ...
I just want it to end so my family can find peace because right now I am a nuisance.
😢 | depression |
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