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It then took me an hour just to be able to make it back to my room with a somewhat peace of mind. It would’ve been even longer had I decided to clean my teeth but I was too exhausted
Worst part is I didn’t even need the toilet once I’d sat on it 💀 I should’ve just went to sleep | OCD |
he keeps telling me to ignore and realize whats thoughts are true and not.
example, I have been thinking that the number 6 is bad and number 7 is good. i prayed and or asked for forgiveness today thinking of number 6 and did something once while when I prayed thinking of number seven i did something twice giving one of the numbers more advantage? | OCD |
Today I had a conversation with my dad where i didn't feel like what I was saying was being dismissed or belittled. Or at least there was less of it and more of him trying to understand my meaning.
Before I was diagnosed I told my parents that I was looking to get an ADHD diagnosis. Both my mom and dad dismissed my worries. My mom would say "you just need to try harder and stop getting overwhelmed". My dad on the other hand he said "all that stuff is normal". Funny how their response even though they were both dismissive they were coming from a different perspective.
After I got diagnosed and I shared the diagnosis with them my dad's tone changed. I think he noticed something that i noticed too.... I might get my ADHD from him. He even sent me an article about ADHD for me to read. This tells me he is doing research into the disorder and I'm touched.
I had a call with him today. And I shared something i learned about how I (32f) have been managing my undiagnosed condition all these years without knowing. I told him about some coping techniques I've been using for years without knowing they were coping techniques. And I explained that with the pandemic and all the changes that came with it a lot of my techniques are not working or i stopped using because they don't fit the new normal. He listened through all of it with empathy and with the willingness to learn. Damn... Now I'm crying
I wanted to share this with you all. | ADHD |
So i know about OCD, ive tested for it (online) in the past and i def had it, although it was mainly just the intense rumination and unwanted thoughts.
During the past week however, i think im developing the checking if the door is locked more than 10 times before leaving trait of OCD. it mainly stems from the irrational fear of me not actually locking it and just hallucinating that i locked it, but i mean, i locked it. More than 20 times. I double check at first but then this irrational fear steikes me and before i realize it im checking it for the 7th time in 10 mins, which has made me waste 15 mins of my time,just like that.
Any tips??Im driving myself insane. | OCD |
The other day I had a bit of a break through, and remembered a period of time when, as a child, I’d play a “game” in which I’d try to go a day without “messing up” and having my parents yell at me. I’d keep track of how many days in a row I’d get yelled at, and there wasn’t actually ever a day in which I avoided getting yelled at, so I assume at some point I just stopped, or at least I thought I did. I’m 21m now, and I realized the other day that I was keeping track of how many times I “messed up” in every day life, in the same way I did as a child. I guess part of me is curious if I ever stopped, because now I feel like all I really did was upgrade to a larger scale. Did anyone else count something similar as a kid? I also realize this may not be OCD related, as I have all kinds of issues, it just felt more like an OCD thing to me rather than anything else. | OCD |
When I was younger I was exposed to some gun violence that I didn’t remember until a couple years ago. I’m 18 so I would say I was maybe 15/16. I was also exposed to guns throughout my life because my father hunted and taught me. Until my sophomore year I’d say nothing came up. Then my dad became a drug abuser and there was a time when he was shooting at a person in our backyard. I’ve noticed that I am more jumpy to loud sounds like gunshots. Today a firework went off and it scared me and made me very anxious and I had to keep myself from crying in front of the people around me. I don’t know why it’s been getting worse recently as far as my reactions to guns or loud noises go. I’m just wondering if it could possibly be PTSD? I’m planning on going to therapy soon but I’m just unsure of what to feel about this and how to understand what I feel when these things happen. I don’t want to try and self diagnose and I’m sorry if it seems that way I’m just looking for other experience if anyone wishes to share or if there are any answers or advice. Thank you lots and I hope all this makes sense :/ | ptsd |
Tbh I've had trouble of putting my thoughts into words and I'll try to make my story simpler. I feel like I have so many interruptions and distractions from doing basically anything. Even now, my mom just barged into my room. I've been living with my mom for a year now. My dad, well he passed away last January.
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Things have been difficult and I've been feeling this great uncertainty and sadness since my dad passed. He was my rock. But even rocks crumble I guess. I feel regret for not spending much time with him when I should've he was kind and funny. And I remember him always being overprotective of me. And now that he's gone I feel empty.
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When I was in school I was fond of so many things. I loved to draw, sing, write and now I feel like it's just to much effort. I don't like anything anymore. I just dont seem to care. | depression |
I am 21 yo. I found out I had aspegers at about 12yo. My mother denied the diagnosis and failed to get me any kind of help. On the outside I seem together, my mother has instilled in me that I need to hide it, its not real. And sadly, that's the mindset I still have. Only three people in my friend circle know. My partner doesn't. I have a crippling porn addiction that I've head for a long time. My mind never ever slows down. It's constantly on a marathon. Sometimes it feels like I'm not even in control of my own damn mind. Even now, at 2 in the morning my mind won't slow down. What can I do ? I can't afford to see a therapist, my insurance won't cover it. I'm a Team Leader in a call center and the pay is crap and the benefits are horrible. | aspergers |
I always see myself (in my mind) taking my eyes out , I always think of it and that actually affects me a lot .
Sometimes , I start to force myself to actually take them out , and it is really difficult to try to prevent myself from doing so . | OCD |
We all heard autistic meltdowns, shutdowns and burnouts and we all have an experience in these stuff.
A neurotypical would say ''we all been through these stuff'' and it's true even neurotypicals can have meltdown, shutdown, burnout.
I heard sometimes when i say something i experience, that anyone experience it or that we are all little autistic. And i wonder if neurotypicals are similar to autistics like they say, what's the difference? i can't tell.
I suppose a neurotypicals want to make an autistic person to feel less different and weird because they believe an autistic person doesn't like being different but personally this makes me more confused. And i don't really care to hear that i am like everyone else but at the same time i feel the problematic and weird. I care to hear why and how i am different as an autistic person and be accepted.
An psychologist told me that we are all little autistic and the difference is that autistics have all these traits and neurotypicals only few or none. And the same psychologist said that there is no point to label myself and again this makes me confused with the feeling that i don't have an identity.
It's difficult to open up as an autistic when someone tells me that everyone experience what i experience and maybe some neurotypicals have it worse than me. So what's the difference? Is the difference actually is like that psychologist told me? or autistics experience more intensively and more easily the autistic traits than neurotypicals? | aspergers |
So unfortunately as part of this journey of self discovery I've found myself going down some internet rabbit holes again, and I have learned, thanks to places such as r/raisedbyautistics or sites like [aspergerpartner.com](http://aspergerpartner.com/) , that according to them
* People on the spectrum are unfit to be parents, and are actively harming the kids they raise.
* Partners of people on the spectrum suffer neglect and will never have their needs met or be understood.
I mean, are these just a few people who have jaded experiences? It certainly seems like it isn't that, but that these are somewhat of a pervasive experience, at least among certain groups of people on the internet, and that their damaged lives at the hands of the autistic people in their lives is *real*.
So, I just don't know what to do and it seems like my life is in crisis. I (40, male) have two small kids who I love very much and they love me, and I feel like I *understand* them, I'm in a relationship which has long-standing difficulties and I'm just now discovering that I'm on the spectrum, and I am feeling like I'll never be able to give the emotional closeness she needs despite how much I love her and how much I've been trying, and all I want to be is a good dad, and maybe I never will be able to achieve either thing. If we separate, which seems to me as if it's the only real way forward at this point, is that my ambitions for being a good dad or having an understanding life partner completely swept away from me now? And all because I have something that I never asked for or even knew about? If I separate and express desire to have my kids 50% of the time, am I now going to feel guilty in the knowledge that my autistic influence on them is damaging them, and maybe I should not persist in doing so? I suspect they may be at least a little on the spectrum, or have some other tendencies - very high functioning. Is it not correct that my unique perspective would actually be of benefit to the kids, given that they still would get their mother's perspective as well and this would overall give them a respect for neurodiversity? I feel like I could be a pretty awesome dad, I could be fairly organised with good routines and introduce them to some of my special interests, which they always seem pretty keen to hear about and ask endless questions about. But, I just read an article explaining that thinking about it this way is wrong, and I should think about it in terms of a child raised by an autistic parent.
People write reams and reams of articles about how they have been messed up by autistic parents and that their parents should never have had them.
And they write at length about their dead bedrooms because their aspie partner doesn't seem to care about intimacy, or intimacy is too confusing and uncomfortable for them.
And I see in these people that they don't seem to be bullshitting; in their cases their asperger partner or parent really did seem to really harm them in significant ways.
I don't know how to proceed. I don't know what to do if my partner suggests that she should be the primary caregiver for the kids because of whatever challenges I may have. I don't know what is in the best interest of the kids. I'm really sorry for sounding so pathetic in here and for subjecting anyone reading this to this kind of negativity and crisis thinking. Part of me wants to just stop and pretend that I am completely NT and that I am no worse than any other parent out there - put this cat back in the bag because I am perfectly capable of functioning in society, and people have relationship communication difficulties even if they're NT. I mean, I hope you understand what I mean.
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Edit: example of one of the articles I've am talking about [https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbyautistics/comments/a8xsdl/my\_censored\_answer\_on\_quora\_re\_having\_an\_autistic/](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbyautistics/comments/a8xsdl/my_censored_answer_on_quora_re_having_an_autistic/) | aspergers |
This happened last year, in March 2019.
The alleged events happened 6 years ago.
So this other rapper, put out a song calling the male of this rap group out, and she claimed that she got drugged and trafficked to South Africa and that's when it happened.
In this music video for this song, it has her rapping on top of a building while screenshots of her conversations with the male flashes over the top plus definitions of stuff like adult grooming.
She makes various claims about him.
She also claims that it was the female of the rap group's idea to get her trafficked who is also the male of the group's girlfriend.
I have no idea what to think.
Theres been no resolution or anything, no court case.
The most that has happened is the rap groups lawyers send a cease and desist letter to this girl, and that's it.
There is actually a timeline of the events after she released the video that was on the rap group's subreddit, but the last few months that was updated, it was just mostly social media posts.
The last update on that timeline was October 2019.
Obviously most fans of each base involved, has defended the music artist that they're a fan of.
Looking at the comments of this music video, a lot of people was being very defensive over this girl.
Visa versa for the subreddit of the music group.
I usually believe the victim in cases like this, but there are holes in her story, as other people has pointed out.
But there's also been holes in the rap group's story too.
Nothing anybody has said involved makes any sense.
It just keeps going around my head on what actually happened, but we will probably never find out.
But I am really into this rap group. I saw them live at a music festival I went to, and it was awesome.
But since I found out about this case, my PTSD has been set off big time.
I keep slipping in and out of dissociation and paranoia.
I just wish I could stop thinking about it, or even better, never found out about it.
And one of the lyrics this girl wrote has hit me pretty hard. I have no idea why.
I'm usually fine listening to music, there's only 3 other songs that I can't really listen to.
But this lyric has broke me.
"An innocent girl and a sick individual."
I'm sorry. | ptsd |
I’m so anxious right now, can’t stop shaking my leg, biting my lip, fidgeting…my heart is beating so fast and I’m getting like a thousand thoughts a second flying through my head. I didn’t do absolutely anything today I was supposed to do. I’m trying to be rational and see what it could do. I could go outside, but it’s cold and wet and I don’t want to. I could reach out to a friend but it feels like I have none bc all the ones I do have, I’ve isolated from in the past couple weeks and it feels like they hate me. I could read or watch tv but I don’t want to start reading bc I know I can’t focus and watching tv feels wrong knowing I have so many other actual tasks I need to do like job search and clean my house. I already feel guilty bc I got high for the last 4 nights in a row, there’s no way I can allow myself to today as well.
HELP | ADHD |
I hate the cards I have been givin. And how I’m playing this whole stupid game. I just wish I could wake up and feel warm again. Not even just emotional but my body feeling warm. Not having to roll out of bed to get me to move. | depression |
I think I'm having pocd and I keep looking up pocd stuff and I actually told my parents I think I did it for reassurance and my anxiety is getting really bad. I'm starting therapy but it's not for ocd and I'm worried that I won't get it fixed in regular therapy and I won't be able to get ocd therapy. | OCD |
Hi all! I’ve been diagnosed with OCD for around 11 years now and it has recently been giving me more trouble.
Does anyone have any recommendations for OCD self help books? But, like, *fun* ones? Possibly aesthetically pleasing, in nice colors, cute doodles, self affirming activities? I feel like I can only find ones with terrible aesthetics that look like the covers were made with 2004 Microsoft Word Wordart! I like things in my life to be cute and fun, so maybe I can have my tools and OCD recovery at least a little cute and fun too?
Let me know if you all have any rec’s! Thank you! | OCD |
Recently-ish I was messing around on Tinder, prior to getting frustrated and ultimately deleting it yet again. One thing that struck me was the option to add your ‘Anthem’ from Spotify. I don’t know if this is just my brain, or if it is my ADHD, but the concept seems outrageous and absurd. Of course, wanting to seem interesting and edgy, I added something awkwardly out of the context of snap judgement (type 1 systems processing FTW!) swipe-swipe.
What I find absurd about it is the idea that I can be defined, or worse, attempt to define myself in such a one dimensional, finite and ultimately uninforming way. To be clear, this has nothing to do with Tinder profiles. I know better than to rail against the project of capitalizing on superficial attraction. What I became curious about as I traipsed down this rabbit hole, is who else among this particular affinity group shares this aversion to oversimplification?
On a tragically regular basis it seems, I find myself part of some group game or team building exercise where everyone is asked to share their favorite color. I witness myself spin out on it every time. Of course I should know better by now and just play along! (M37). Instead, it comes across as some kind of weird joke far beside the point. “Favorite color of what?? Shoes? Pants? Is it something I’m wearing or someone else? Male or female? Dog? Which breed? Male or female? Plant? Tree? Color of foliage? What season is it? Daytime or nighttime? What kind of mood am I in? Have I been getting enough sleep??” This efficiently achieves the double whammy of making me suddenly mentally exhausted, AND seem like a cynical asshole, alienating most if not all present to some degree. Nor does it ever go well, as it is my turn to share, to mutter sheepishly “I don’t think I have one of those anymore…” Uhh, purple. It can and generally is a problem that there is no such thing as simple to me!
This is a frequent enough occurrence, while attempting to interact in a ‘normal’ setting, I do, think, or say something which on some level I deeply appreciate about myself, at the same time becoming frustrated and ashamed that I can’t just take the easy way, shut up and color. With that lengthy pretext, (which sub is this again?) And what made an instant connection to the Tinder profile anthem, was something that I was sort of intrigued and delighted by.
I set my spotify liked songs playlist to shuffle whilst in the the shower a while ago and it ran on like this until I stopped it:
Better in The Fall - The Steel Woods
Heaven Can Wait - Iron Maiden
Where You Are - From Moana
I’m On a Boat - The Lonely Island
Someday - Rob Thomas
Time to Say Goodbye - Andrea Bocelli
Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac
Empire - Queensryche ??? do i know this song?
Opus Posthumous in E Minor - Chopin
Winter’s Waltz - from Frozen
Stranded - Zookeepers, Ship Wreck
24 Preludes, Op.28 : 16. In B flat minor - Chopin again!
I couldn’t help envisioning a room full of strangers, passing my phone around. Each taking their time to choose something, liking a song or an album or every album by a certain artist, setting it back to the home screen, passing it. Each one a mystery to the next, and all of them me. Me from that moment I discovered or rediscovered that song, played it once, or played it on repeat for two weeks, then filed it away, unlabeled and only accessible by some unknown subconscious sorting system.
Of all the things about having this brain that bring me down, make it feel like I’m playing on hard mode, make me want to evaporate and and simply CEASE sometimes, some things still bring me back to being content amidst the angst that is my existence. Something about feeling like I was listening to a playlist curated for me by an AI, but knowing it was those many strange versions of me contributing. Like a favorite color, I don’t have an anthem. I am instead the anthology of all those moments, interests, enthusiasms. I get to be the amalgam of every glimpse of captured significance, every bright feverish moment of discovering something new! Each digested and poured over, it’s novelty expended as it’s secrets were revealed, then to be filed away with the rest, unlabeled.
I’ve been having some dark days but this little epiphany gave me an unexpected windfall of dopamine and this subsequent vent! I don’t ever have to guess why I tend to be TOO MUCH for a lot of people, but on days like today, I’m happy to be here for it. | ADHD |
I'm very new to ADHD and it's related conditions so forgive me for saying something wrong.
I don't think I have ADHD entirely but I don't want to self diagnose, however I do relate to some symptoms mainly related to a lack of focus, motivation etc and it's been affecting my school life a lot.
Sometimes I could be sitting at my desk constantly telling myself to study but I guess my brain just refuses, it gets very frustrating, very quickly. On other days I'd be on my bed struggling to get off it and sometimes even for basic things like eating. Sometimes I'd just stare into my computer blankly for 10+ minutes. It's like my brain is divided into two parts, one which is trying to sabotage everything I've ever wanted to do and the other that's helplessly trying to reason with the first part.
I don't think I relate to the hyper focus symptoms although sometimes I do tend to lose track of time for a few hours but only when I'm doing something I enjoy so I wouldn't call that hyper focus.
I have other issues as well which I talked about in other posts but for a brief, an almost complete lack of emotions which has also drained my motivation, suicidal tendencies, self harm, just about no self esteem, self loathing, constant exaustion, a feeling of choking, emptiness etc and yet I feel like I'm just faking it all for attention. Which are pointing me towards depression instead.
I'm not here to get a diagnosis. I just need some advice on how to deal with these symptoms and urgently, I've tried a lot of things, making both a strict and a casual timetable, having someone else keep an eye on my progress, setting up goals, punishing myself for failing (my self harm started with that) etc but in vain so I decided to turn to the people who probably have similar if not the same experiences or even worse ones.
Thank you! | ADHD |
Vet with a bit of success.
Hello everyone. This is my first post here. I’ve taken time to respond to other post, offer my support and suggestions.
I feel like this is the moment to share my story.
I’m a 36 year old veteran of operation Iraqi freedom. Ever sense I left theater I was never the same. After a tour in Korea I took alcohol to a whole new level, and after I departed serving. I just got worse.
Now there were some ups. I created a business, I had two beautiful daughters, and met my soul mate.
All of that being said I still couldn’t be happy.
In the past year and half to two years, I have completely hit the bottom. Had to pivot business just so it could survive. Had a long up hill battle and was drinking myself to sleep. Oh and that soul mate? I became emotionally abusive, she took care of me, loved me unconditionally. Picked me up off the floor every time I was that drunk, and stood by my through every single suicide attempt, and I destroyed her, and I destroyed her life.
In this warpath I discovered a brewery of other veterans. This guys had found treatment. Unfortunately it’s treatment that the VA doesn’t cover. So after another complete slip I dove into my pocket and paid for treatment.
I was not happy about doing some “hippy shit” these guys and this Dr put me on clinical ketamine treatment, meditation, and journaling what I’m grateful for. The first treatment was a horrible experience with amazing results, and it didn’t take. Sober for a few days and back to being a miserable asshole.
Reason why? If I told you something would you listen? And that’s exactly why. I had more important things then to follow up with the personal after care.
So it goes 4 treatments later. I finally get it. I’ve been sober, I’m journaling, and I found the cause of my diagnosis. Fear, when we crossed that berm we were all scared to death. It’s only natural. But there were more deep seeded issues outside of Iraq that I discovered in treatment.
It goes without saying, you’re a special kind of fucked up to sign up in a time of war, or a special kind of stupid? Either way, Iraq and alcohol were just the icing and sprinkles on that cake that was my life. My childhood of abuse and abandonment was the cake itself.
So what do you do? How do you “fix” it?
You forgive and you forget and you love. In my case I had to start with my mother on Easter Sunday, I wrote her a polite beautiful letter, no passive aggression, no questions as to why. I thanked her, I wouldn’t be where I am today had this not happened to me. I told her I loved her, wished her no I’ll will, and hoped she had peace.
We can’t change the past, we can not change others, sometimes we can’t changes the situation that may or may not be from the cause of our own actions. How ever we can change ourselves, and I’ll say that’s been my uphill battle all along.
I never forgave myself, I never loved myself.
So what do you do next. Well I wrote 18 year old me a letter and said the same.
Keep in mind when you dig down deep in that heart of yours and truly forgive someone, this means you forgive them. You’re done bringing up the story and situation. You find love in your heart and you drive forward.
I feel as if a 10 ton ruck sack has been lifted from my back. After doing this. I’ve let go of all control, people around you might hurt you, that was never their intentions. So let people in your life, and love them.
Most of all love yourself
This isn’t the last chapter of my journey. Here shortly I’ll be given clinical psilocybin, MDMA, and DMT in one weekend.
If you’ve read this far please feel free to ask me anything. I hope if you’re hurting you know you’re not alone, and I’m sure my actions might even work without drugs. | ptsd |
I know I'm not the only one with this type of OCD, I've seen a couple of people experience similar stuff here and there, but I want to know just how common it is, and maybe make someone who is like me feel less alone, idk.
My OCD has manifested in many forms over the course of my life, but recently it shifted into the realm of weight and body. Basically, I'm afraid that if I fail to fulfill my compulsions, I'm going to start gaining weight uncontrollably. I don't feel like I'm particularly body dysmorphic - I think I can see how fat or thin I am at a certain point rather adequately - but I constantly fear losing control over the way my body is and gaining a lot of weight.
So, is there anyone else here with the same kinds of thoughts? Would really like to hear about your experience:). | OCD |
i find difficult to talk near as much as my friends even if im with only 2 friends and im comfortable talking to each one individually, and even if they have very similar personalities so that i don't have to act differently with each one. it also doesn't matter if i know much about the topic of discussion or not | aspergers |
I think it may have to do with my brains obsession with repetition, that makes it hard to actually ever feel bored. I can find enjoyment in finding repeating patterns in everything, and become fixated on it for hours at a time. Who has time to be bored?
Anyone else?
EDIT: I guess I should have specified, *'...when left to your own devices.'* | aspergers |
Does anyone have any tips for getting out of a deep isolation?
I have been in isolation for a long time and I’m not sure how to get out. | ptsd |
I am 29 and decided to apply for graduate school, but can't study for exams Toelf/GRE, I sit to study like 10 mins get overwhelmed and quit. I don't even know where to apply cause obviously Ipostpone search too many reasons again to get tired from emotions. I plan to take CPA got my FAR book in July , haven't study half.
I feel so down every time I quit and my siblings stressing me as they think I should be kinda smart enough not to study for Toefl/GRE and it's not even a big deal.
I hate being the stupid child in family.
How I just sit study and pass with normal scores.
How you do ? Please help me
I am so desperate and my adhd is still not diagnosed but I know I have it. | ADHD |
Can you have ocd because of the above reasons? Nd can ocd make you feel like you are faking things nd losing interest in certain things, can it make you dislike things you used to like once? Can ocd include "why" questions alongwith "what if" questions or only "why" questions can also be considered in ocd?
For eg:
•Why this happened?
•Why did I do this?
•Why did I forget that?
•Why did I think about it?
•Why is it like that?
•Why did I not do it this way?
Etc etc which turns into an obsession nd then adds "what if" qtns like
•What if it’s the truth?
•What if what I am thinking is a reality nd I was lying myself all this time?
•What if I am really like that?
•What if my life till now was a lie?
•What if I am faking everything?
Etc etc. that keeps going on
Does this mean uh have ocd? | OCD |
Long time lurker, first time poster. Going through a best friend breakup…
Yesterday my ADHD played a massive role in losing my best friend of 20+ years. She lacks a certain compassion and empathy it requires to be friends with a disabled person. Even one who tries their absolute best… I also have Fibromyalgia and our friendship started to decline nearly three years ago when I was diagnosed. Since then I’ve felt like I’m just too much for her and yesterday she confirmed this under the guise of “self-empowerment.” I’m glad she feels empowered while I feel empty.
I guess I’m posting this because I feel alone and I don’t want to… If you have any experience losing friends because of your ADHD, its effect on your life, or just being ND/disabled in general, I would greatly appreciate your sharing them.
Thanks in advance ♥️
- Sad Spoonie | ADHD |
So today, my brother and I were being talked to by our mom at dinner. I started to become overwhelmed and ended up having a meltdown in front of them. I then had a shutdown and became non-verbal. When I was let off to my room, I ended up browsing on Google for small explanations about shutdowns/meltdowns & executive dysfunction, and sent them to my mom.
I had first brought up the topic of Aspergers in December, and my mom ended up getting my therapy near the end up February. I ended up quitting in April because my therapist ended up doing more harm then good. This month, I had once again brought up the idea of ADHD/Aspergers, but she turned me down once I told her that Aspergers and autism were the same thing.
(She’s not against autism, but she had never known about “high functioning” types, as my cousin and her own cousin were both “low functioning.”)
Anyways, because of today’s meltdown/shutdown, she realizes that their is definitely a possibility of me being on the spectrum.
She texted me that she would call to make an appointment tomorrow. So, cool.
Anyways, I should probably get off Reddit and continue to put off my late class work till 11 or so. | aspergers |
I’ve recently found myself in new relationships, and have become obsessed over one person. I have intrusive thoughts about our relationship and because of it I feel this weird divide, that can make me feel jealous and irritated. I was wondering about others experience with this! I recently did research on obsessive love disorder and how that can be Comorbid with OCD. | OCD |
I just need to rant. I went through a period of drepression the past 6 months and I feel like I started to finally come out of that hole, but today I have just felt numb all day. I have “friends” are such good people but they never make time for me or invite me anywhere. When I invite them to do things they never come. I’m just so lonely and bored. I never get excited about things I used to and nothing seems worth living for. I don’t look forward to my future and no one seems to want to be around me. I don’t want to die but sometimes the pit in my stomach feels so heavy that all I want to do is go to sleep. I want to feel happy again | depression |
The title makes me sound very dramatic, but I genuinely believe it. I’m about two years into a four year degree in mechanical engineering (unsure on overall length left because of dropping out twice and taking breaks/lighter semesters).
I feel like if I can accomplish getting through college and getting the degree I will be able to accomplish anything in life I set my mind on. This sort of motivates me to want to finish just to prove to myself that I can be capable.
I was only diagnosed at age 21 due to sheer luck. I saw a Reddit post discussing the traits of untreated adhd in adults and relating to almost every single point. I have that user to thank for posting that, as I would have never had a chance in hell getting through without medication.
Anyone else feel this way? Also it’s been two years on meds and I’m currently on 20mg adderall xr and 60mg Strattera daily with a 5mg adderall instant release as-needed. I know meds are not perfect in treating, but any advice on what proper medication looks and feels like? I still struggle a lot but I am also several times more capable than before meds.
TLDR: anyone else feel college is the hardest challenge they’ll face in life? Also, any tips on what proper medicated looks and feels like in terms of completing tasks that you hate most (school for me) would be appreciated. I’m still figuring out meds | ADHD |
Right now, I'm in an online business degree program... But I am not enjoying it much.
I plan to marry my boyfriend within the next two years, and we want to own some land one day and have a business selling walnuts, along with other side items. So, after I quit school first time around (I majored in American sign language interpreting and eventually decided it wasn't for me), I took on a business degree program. I'm in my second class into it. But I am just not that engaged with it.
Dunno if I'll stick with it or not. But I also don't want to start over with something else, only to quit it later. I also can't take more than one class at a time with this program I'm in , which bums me some because I'd like to take other classes too.
Idk. As I type this, I feel like it's pointless cuz idk what I'll actually do. I thought about looking into a marketing degree, thinking that may be more interesting.
~~~
Anyone out there with a business degree, a marketing degree, or just have experience in similar areas? I know something I do want to take is a horticulture program . But I don't feel now is a good time to dabble at it.
Anyone own a farm business by chance or some other business that can give tips? | ADHD |
I have obsessions to check everything to make sure everything is off and closed properly such as switches, taps, windows , fridge and freezer and that everything is arranged in a certain way and if i try not to do it my mind makes up an almost impossible scenario where if i don't do it something bad will happen. Ive started to create too many of these compulsions and thoughts and i cant go to sleep for more than 4 hours and its only getting worse i don't know what to do. Please can someone tell me it gets better i am starting to lose my mind. | OCD |
My impulse purchases are not bad—better quality food, clothes that are not destroyed, games I actually play and books I actually read, etc. However I do spend too much. Every week its something different or new. And I'm falling behind my savings goals. I don't want to do the envelope system, as using cash is a pain in the ass. But besides that, what can I do? What have you done to help you take control of your finances and finally live under your means and save some cash? | ADHD |
is better after life what we do here? is better the next world
beleive me! | ptsd |
I'm 20, living with a friend and not far from being homeless. I need a job or else im gonna get kicked out. I worked for a month with my dad and even he told me i wasn't an efficient worker. I don't know if i could even get through an interview, except for fast food (i could not work efficiently due to my poor motor skills when performing certain tasks). On top of this I lack work experience. Any suggestions for a job where i won't be fired due to poor social skills? I live in southern California if that helps. | aspergers |
Basically, when I don’t play video games, which is my only hobby, I get extremely bored, so since ADHD is basically having a under-stimulated brain. Personally, can video games help stimulate my brain or somehow help with my ADHD?? This is a very important question for me, as I am very curious to see your answers… | ADHD |
I’ve realised that since I was 11-12 I’ve had issues feeling empathy for anyone. What brought me to this realisation is the fact that in the span of 2 weeks , one person told me their dog died and one told me their nan died. They were so upset and I was like “uhhhh I should probably be empathetic about this but I just feel numb about this.” So I resorted to just saying “I’m sorry” on both occasions. I can obviously feel some emotions like in general to my own issues like when I am excluded from family outings as such, i can feel sad and angry then.
My question is, is there something up with me? | ptsd |
This may sound bad, and it def doesnt feel great, buts a sign of progress. Hypervigilance is a step below dissociation. So to me that makes me think the lamictal had lessened the dissociation so now im back in a hypervigilant state. Now im hoping clonidine really just takes care of the rest | ptsd |
And I deserve it, I'm a selfish prick that uses people as a crutch, I don't deserve to live or love and nor do I want it | depression |
So I've felt emotionally needy when it comes to people I love. I struggle with the thought of my friends (and close family) having their own lives and not needing to talk all the time, so I've started avoiding sending messages to people until they feel like speaking to me.
It was hard at first but now I'm becoming more comfortable with it and I think I'm reverting back into my loner self. | aspergers |
My story, short:
I was in a terrible relationship from the age of 15 to 18. It was my first one, he abused me, hurt me in any way possible and made me so dependent on him that I couldn't even quit.
This is one and a half years over now and it took me a long time to even realize what I was into back then.
It's been a really hard time, and last night when I couldn't sleep, I wrote down a letter. When I read it the next morning I was terrified that these were all honest thoughts of mine.
These are parts of the letter:
"I want it to stop, but I don't know if it ever will. The perspective changes. I see my former self, but from my point of view far above. I see what he did to me, to this girl who doesn't seem to be me at times."
"It's dissipating. I'm trying to set myself apart from what happened, even though I don't know if that's what is good for me or if I even want that."
"Every time those memories come up, almost every single day, I have to force myself into a first person-perspective, to sympathize with that little girl I see right before I wake up screaming. Thoughts are worse than knives because nobody can see you bleeding, so you have to ask for help. "
" When I think of this girl back then, I could pity this girl if she had been anybody else but myself. As hard as I'm trying to connect to my former self, I can't even pity myself and I don't know if I should. I'd love to cry. But I can't. I have shed far too few tears over myself. I wish I could cry. I wish I could grieve. Because some say that after grief comes acceptance."
These were extracts from the letter. I don't know what to do with this or what to think of it. It was the product of a sleepless night. But I don't know what to do with it. Should I show anyone? Eycept for you anonymous people here? I sought professional help once, but now there are several factors that hinder me from pursuing this path of help.
I don't even know what to expect from this community here. Maybe just some outside views of people who can maybe at least a little relate to what I'm going through.
Thanks a lot to all of you who respond to this! | ptsd |
I don’t know how to feel about my mental health. I’ve been struggling with what I think is depression for 2-3 years (it hasn’t been officially diagnosed yet but I’m getting there.) and I’m so angry with a lot of things. Number one being my family brushes my feelings off and don’t try to understand how I feel when I want to talk to them. I do not talk about it every day and I only talk about it when I have really bad lows I guess. I’ve tried talking to one of my parents but I feel like talking to them is like a brick wall and I feel so alone right now. Is it ok to feel like this? I feel bad about talking about it but I really need some advice.
(Also sorry about the post it’s my first time posting something on here.) | depression |
Hi guys,
I started taking Vyvanse 30mg(for a two week trial) a month and a half ago. My doctor raised my prescription to 40mg(for another two weeks) and now I am at 50mg(40 when I wake up and 10 in evening) and think that I will stay at 50mg. I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years back with an qEEG brain scan and recently decided to try medication after realizing that I was holding myself back in life. Vyvanse has worked well and I am very happy with the results. 40mg was an efficacious dose for me but I found that it wasn't lasting as long(only6-7hrs), so I am now doing an extra 10mg in the early evening. I am a 185lb 20 yr male in university and I am very active. I play a sport at a very high level and train every day(running, weights, skills, sport specific, etc) and at first I was out of breath while competing intensely on Vyvanse but this issue has subsided. Additionally, I have always been a big caffeine guy but since I started taking Vyvanse I don't need it nearly as much. I only really use caffeine before the gym or if I am really tired as it's impossible for me to do work/school with that much dopamine. Also, I have since quit taking Vitamin D in the morning as I saw on here that it blocks the effectiveness of Vyvanse. If I took it at night would that be fine? I have always had big aspirations in life but have been held back by my ADHD(Inattentive) which makes me have no energy and zone out 24/7. I now have more energy but find myself going down wormholes for hours(I am learning new two languages currently lmao). Wormholes have always been an issue but now that I have the focus to do things I was wondering what strategies you guys use to prioritize important tasks? I am a big list and planners guy(both work well for me) ,but put off doing the big tasks and instead complete every small task as soon as possible(before I didn't get anything done, now I get a lot of little things done but avoid the big things). Vyvanse is working well but I have years of bad habits to break and I think it will take time to tackle them. I have already noticed that Vyvanse has altered my habits and I notice it even on the days where I don't take the medication. I find that I can talk for hours when on Vyvanse yet I think I might be a little more antisocial. I am an introvert yet talkative so the drug only amplifies who I am. Additionally, Vyvanse has made me more motivated which has made me less tolerant to things/people/behaviour that doesn't benefit me. I should mention that I am pursuing Psychology in University so to begin with I am very introspective. I heard that Vyvanse has negative impact on the heart and speeds up aging but is this something I should even think about considering my activity level and healthy lifestyle? Also, if there are any other athletes out there do you find that you have an increased performance on Vyvanse(interested in hearing opinions)? I apologize if this is a long post but I want to stupid with my health. The questions are posted below. Lastly, the medication is working very well for me and my issues are not major, just looking to educate myself better.
**Questions**
Can you take Vitamin d(or other acidic foods) at night?
What strategies you guys use to prioritize important tasks and avoid wormholes?
How do you best break ADHD habits?
Has Vyvanse made you obsessed with self-improvement and or made you antisocial?
Does Vyvanse age the heart and body or is it just correlational?
Any athletes want to share their opinions? | ADHD |
In addition to my more classic OCD symptoms, one thing that I've noticed is that I am always replaying fantasy conversations in my head. For example, I imagine myself having a good conversation with a woman I like, and replay the things I would say over and over again. Then maybe I would alter or tweak the conversation a bit and then replay that. It's like I get some hit of dopamine from it and then constantly try to keep getting enjoyment from it. In reality, I'm a bit socially awkward, but I imagine myself speaking confidently and clearly. I have a lot of fake conversations with people I actually know but do it in my head. I only recently just noticed that I am expending an enormous amount of mental energy doing this everyday. Can anybody relate? | OCD |
Hello has anybody taken part in the trials going on for a new OCD treatment that blocks glutamate?
I would be curious to hear your experiences with the drug question, Triluzole (new version of FDA approved Riluzole.)
If in Boston area call Boston clinical, they are recruiting. Otherwise I am going to call
NOCD in Chicago. | OCD |
Hi everyone, just a few days back i have been diagnosed with ADHD , am 41 yold and have lived my whole past life suffering symptoms i couldn't rach a reasonable diagnosis for, how miserable!!
Anyway, my doctor suggested to start on strattera to see if it would work for me ,she considered stimulants as a second option, now its my 7th day with strattera and my experience so far not very good, or so i felt about it, on the firs and second days i felt a significant impact it calmed me down and gave me a feeling of self control I've never felt in good deal of lifetime, not to mention the downside of it cause i loved the feeling .
after 2 days i stopped getting the same effect and turned back to my original state along with side effects , now i feel like am nit getting any benefit anymore and can't wait after i touched that sensation .
Am looking for an experienced advise , someone who goes all the way down this road , is it worth the wait? Or should i ask my doctor for alternative which in this case will definitely be a stimulant.
Thank you | ADHD |
Day in and day out. It’s not physical pain but just emotional pain that I’ve never had the time to deal with. I only realized the extent of my pain recently when I just sat down and starting sobbing for the first time in years but not even feeling anything. I don’t remember anything before age 14 which I’m not complaining abt but I just wanna know why I am the way that I am. On top of all that I work my ass off to make sure no one else goes through the same shit I did alone. Ur starving ur self for days? I’ll be there to help. You’ve relapsed on your addictions? I’m here to help. You just need someone to say something somewhat nice to u so u don’t hate ur self? It’s always me. Never once in my life did someone reach out or even tell me they give a shit w out me attempting suicide. I just don’t know what the solution is anymore. Is there even any winning at this point? | depression |
It's become something of an impulse for me.
I could be doing anything or thinking about anything (although it usually happens during invasive thoughts). Then I just mutter to myself "I fucking hate you" or "I hate being alive" or "I want to die". I have to watch myself when I'm in public or around others (which isn't a lot) just so I don't say it then and have people ask questions. | depression |
I’m on 20 mg of Lexapro and 50 mg Vyvanse and was wondering if anyone has drank alcohol while being on an antidepressant and stimulant? And what was your experience like? I take Vyvanse in the morning and Lexapro at night. If I’m drinking at night should I just skip the Lexapro for a day? Or should I skip both? | ADHD |
I'll say this here: I fucking SUCK at using a planner. I will spend $50 on a planner and nice pens and pencils and organize the whole planner just to never use it.
Then, after 20 years on this godforsaken planet designed for neurotypical humans, I have discovered the joys of sticky-notes.
At the start of each week I will make a task board of sticky-notes right in front of my desk that shows all the things I need to finish for that week. Once I do the task, I take my sharpie and put a huge X on the task, and put the used sticky-note above my head where I can visually see my progress on completing tasks. I feel amazing, and for once in my life organized. Try to gamify your life to make things more satisfying to do.
For reference, [here's my current setup for this week :D.](https://imgur.com/UHOsobi) | ADHD |
Hey there all readers,
Im 20M and trying to get the purpose in life and why i should keep struggling through it.
In the last 4-5 years of my life i just wanted to end it, cause i saw no purpose.
The 1 year without job or school was the worst, i cried every night and dreamed of some death scenarios i imagined earlier in the day.
I was too weak to actually end myself and sayed to myself the purpose of life is just to have fun.
This answer wasnt really satisfying but that and keeping myself distrected with pointless things was enough.
It went much better since last year as i found a new job and just worked around the clock.
But that wasnt much more as a big distrection.
All of that euphorism and engangememt for the new job started to wear down after a year or so and i start to find myself at the beginning.
The motto just have fun isnt really helping when you just find nothing enjoyable or interesting anymore.
I have a lot of problems with people around me and have a lot more social issues going with that.
I just dont see the point anymore to even get out of bed because its pointless in any way.
In nearly all situations i just hope somebody would finally me in the head.
My future hopes and dreams are all crushed by the point of unmotivation and the knowledge that it is judt a distrection till i can finnaly die.
Im not sure tbh if that even counts as depression as i know a lot of people say depression like its a common cold. I also should say that i never went to a therapist because i have a lot of trust issues, this is the most i spoken about it outside of 2 people who wont talk to me anymore.
In anyway i thank you for reading and listen to my problems. If you know a better subreddit for this kind of topic i would appreciate it. | depression |
I always have this horrible safer done than sorry mentality for the dumbest things making me do ritualistic shit that kills me and makes me insane. Ive since hidden it pretty well by lying about things to get away from people catching my rituals. My mom has severe OCD, and I think my OCD has gotten worse and worse. Ive been in a bit of a denial until today I realized I wasted 1 hour doing something because my head couldn’t stop worrying about something that was 100% okay. Ive realized I need to confront my anxiety and let it cool down. I just want to hear how you guys overcome these OCD tendencies?
Btw: in case you guys are wondering, My biggest gripe is the number of times I check my door is locked, check the water tub and whatnot are shut off, check everything is turned off really lol. It’s embarrassing and also making me lose sleep because I can’t sleep without checking it. It wasn’t this bad when I was younger, but now it is really bad. I lose at least 30 min of sleep each day because of my OCD. This is actually becoming detrimental to my health :(. But I dont know. People say stop worrying but it’s this internal voice that makes me worry. I cant not worry lol, and I wish people kinda understood. | OCD |
today wasn't a great day. i'm a student taking all advanced or AP classes because....i thought i could handle it, and i have finals the week after this one. i have god knows how many missing assignments and a brain that doesn't do much of anything productive. yesterday, i got a new drawing tablet, so i spent essentially all of my day drawing and chilling out. i had planned to get a lot more assignments done, but at the end of the day i didn't feel too guilty because i had the next day to get stuff done.
skip to the next morning, i ended up staying awake until 4 am so i woke up at 11 am. but my room was messy as hell, and my parents had been pressuring me for weeks to clean it up. so i decided i'd just take 30 minutes to clean it up.
four hours later, i'd cleaned up my room, but also somehow built a blanket fort for my dogs. what. who decided i had the time for that? but whatever, what's in the past is in the past, my room was now clean so i could finally get some work done. i was kinda tired from cleaning, though, so i sat down and looked at my phone and take a break when i saw that my friend had showed me a cool app, so i downloaded it, and started messing around with it for over an hour.
eventually, i did manage to get something done after that. i read a chapter of the book i'd been assigned in my language arts class. then my parents called me down to dinner, so i couldnt do much else. i went back to my room, determined to work.
then i remembered a tweet i saw earlier about someone wanting to stream doing their homework and just chilling, which i liked the idea of and thought i could get some stuff done during that. so i opened twitch and starting looking around for people streaming homework. i couldn't find any, so i settled for minecraft streamers. two hours later, i was still switching between streamers, trying to find one i could play in the background while working.
somehow i ended up drawing again and watching youtubers and going on twitter. its now been 12 hours of trying to do things. and i'm now coming to the realization that i'm probably always going to be like this. i will never be able to say "alright, i'm going to be productive today!" and then just do it. i know a lot of people dont mind having ADHD because of the positives, but for me personally, i dont think the positives are worth it. i don't have any stress-free free time anymore because of school, im constantly having to email my teachers asking for extensions, and its just constant anxiety because i dont have the motivation to do anything and constant depression because i'm not being productive enough.
there's no way i'll be able to permanently fix this. ADHD isn't curable. And meds are only temporary, and i don't even know if any will work for me yet since i've only been on them for a few days. i don't have time for anything anymore. i have to work twice as hard to do a fraction of the things neurotypical people can do, and its hard to imagine a life past high school that i'll enjoy.
that being said, if anyone has advice or just wants to say they relate or wants to vent or whatever it is in the comments, that's totally fine. i'm happy to hear anyone's thoughts/opinions on this.
(im sorry if anybody took this as criticism on themselves. i purely mean it as criticism on myself and the way i deal with things, and i truly dont believe that any of you have less worth because of ADHD. everyone here are amazing people, it's just difficult for me to see myself the same way.) | ADHD |
I am on the verge of a total mental breakdown. I can feel it at the precipice of my mind and feel the madness shining through all the cracks but by bit.
I’m so depressed and anxious, my hair’s falling out by the second cuz of my stress and my brain is breaking cuz of all the depression. It’s even ruining my heart, literally and physically.
I can’t go on living like this. I have people to lean on, but I can’t burden them with my issues. It makes them uncomfortable to hear about it, even if they pretend it doesn’t.
I just wish that I could just BE better all of a sudden, but I know it’s not possible. I just want it all to end so I can be better and no longer miserable. | depression |
Do you guys ever go to work and always feel like the person that doesn’t belong in your department? Like your just an waste of space and everyone doesn’t want you to be apart or what they are talking about? Like your not really wanted into the chats with that others are talking about? They are so loud like you can’t help it?
Any idea on how to not feel this way or fix it if this happens to you too | aspergers |
My mom tells me I didn't show signs of autism as a child and doubts my diagnosis. But I always think about all the fears I had as a kid. They were all related to sensory overload in some way. My mom told me that as a baby and toddler, I became upset and cried easily, and would sometimes want to be held and would refuse to look at or talk to anyone.
I was scared of the lines, lights, and drains in pools when I was younger. This fear has gradually diminished as I've gotten older, but the sensation of being uncomfortable is still there. My mom told me that before I could talk, she used to go in the pool with me and carry me around in the water. She said that I would start screaming, crying, and freaking out seemingly randomly, but that she didn't know why because I couldn't talk. Eventually, I was able to communicate that the movement of the water and the reflection of the sunlight over the lines (and the lights, and drains) in the pool made it look like they were moving and coming up out of the water at me. The fear persisted even when I was old enough to understand that the movement was an illusion. As an adult, I now recognize that this was sensory overload.
This is just one example - I could go on and on about different fears I had as a kid. I was just curious if anybody else had similar experiences as a child. | aspergers |
God I’m so angry right now, whenever I’m try to establish some kind of routine for myself I dissociate. I’ve been trying to get in the habit of a bedtime routine where I take my meds, wash my face, and brush my teeth. So many times I’ll just end up disassociating or I’ll absentmindedly stare at my face in the mirror and get this huge overwhelming urge to pick at my face. It makes me so mad that it has 1) taken me so long to adequately take care of myself because I used to always forget my meds, sporadicly wash my face, and I just didn’t brush my teeth at all for 2 years or so. Fuck I forget my second reason, my brain feels like a jumble of threads that’s getting knotted and tied any pressing on the inside of my head.
It just fucking sucks that I feel as if I can’t take care of myself properly | ptsd |
I have a joint issue currently that is preventing me from working out, and has been persistent for like a year. Im getting it checked out this summer by a chiropractor, but damn I feel so fucking weak because of it. I go on social media and see men with chiseled bodies and think that I can achieve that, and every time I try I end up feeling hurt. Im so severely depressed right now too that even getting out of bed is hard. And I cant stop picking at the acne on my face because of OCD. I feel like such a complete failure | OCD |
Sometimes i get depersonalization/derealization episodes where i feel like i'm in a dream and i can't remember things very well. Last night i was working on school work and i think i zoned out or something. After awhile i got back to reality and i looked at my phone and it had been 3 hours! I haven't experienced something like this before, I don't think i fell asleep but i have no memory of what happened in that time period. Is this dissociation? I haven't talked to my doctor about this yet but im going tomorrow. Has anyone had a similar experience? | ptsd |
I feel really lost right now. I've been trying to get diagnosed for a while and I finally was able to get an assessment about a year ago. When I got tested they were dismissive and apparently the company wasn't very good come to find out. I guess the person that tested me was an intern and I think the psychiatrist signed off on the interns conclusion. I didn't realize this at the time I thought the lady that was testing me was a psychiatrist but I think she was a student or something. The psychiatrist never even talked to me. She also tested me as a child even though I was 19. I'm really bad at expressing how I feel and communicating in general so I couldn't really tell them what I needed to and gave little explanation for most of the answers. It took them almost 3 months to get back to me when they said it would only be 2 weeks. I feel like they didn't take me seriously. They said I had anxiety and depression but didn't give me a clear reason as to why I don't have asd. I scored highly likely to have asd on the assessment they gave. I tried emailing them to ask but still didn't give me a clear answer and told me to stop emailing them. It was so difficult for me to reach out to get help in the first place and now I just feel like I'm getting worse. I've tried therapy for my anxiety and depression but it's not working. I feel like it's not getting down to the root cause of my problems. I can't really communicate how I feel so I don't say enough and the therapist starts getting a little irritated with me. I feel like I just wasted her time. How am I supposed to get diagnosed or help with my problems if I can't communicate properly? It's really hard to find people who test adults where I live. I can't explain myself to others. I can't get a second opinion until the previous assessment gets paid off and it was $1300. I'm scared to waste more of my parents money because I can't communicate properly. I don't know what to do. | aspergers |
Hey there,
since multiple SSRI/SNRI didnt help with my (social) anxiety and depression, I would like to try out Clomipramine/Anafranil. Has anyone experience with it? Can you elaborate the effects you got from it. I know its a great drug for OCD, but since I dont have OCD, I am rather interested in its effects on depression and other forms of anxiety....Would love to hear from you. | ptsd |
Just curious if anyone here has any experience with an ADHD diagnosis while active duty in the military? I have all of the typical symptoms of ADHD but my mother never had me tested because you can’t technically join the military with a diagnosis, and the Marine Corps was always something I have wanted to do. Is it possible to be medicated once I’m already in or am I just SOL until my enlistment is over? Thanks in advance for any replies | ADHD |
I lived for more than 30 years with an extremely crippling OCD and constant blinding migraines. But now that I look back, it didn't really stopped from living a fulfilling life. I never gave up and I feel that I've managed to carve something meaningful out of the pain and the chaos. On the surface it cut me from the the things I cared about the most - artistic expression and intellect. In reality I managed to turn my dance (I will never call it a struggle or battle again) with OCD into an art project and an extremely fulfilling intellectual challenge. As a result I feel that I received more from life. Without OCD I would have been a cold, selfish and vain person.
This dance thaught me so many things. It thaught me compassion, empathy, open mindedness, fluidity, it gave me an extreme mental fortitude, made me go out of my way and meet fantastic people, it helped me live fully in the present, it thaught me to take nothing for granted and that there always is hope...always.
Now I feel that finally the wildfire in my brain is starting to die out. Finally I have all the tools I need and created a self sustaining system which slowly walks me to the exit of this extremely convoluted labyrinth. But it doesn't feel like defeating a monster, vanquishing an unbeatable foe. It feels like finally embracing a long alienated part of me, which was guiding me through a seemingly impenetrable veil. | OCD |
How does one deal with uncertainty and negative thoughts in his mind. My contamination OCD has gone worse over time and I feel stressed out and lost. | OCD |
DAE not question anything until you remember your OCD theme and THATS when you start questioning things. like it could be a normal day, and then you remember you have this issue to worry about, and it makes you question everything u know about it | OCD |
I’m usually good at keeping a good attitude about my OCD and anxiety but lately I just feel exhausted. I can’t get the motivation to do the things that make me happy and keep me feeling “normal” (hiking, cooking, little projects like painting the house, etc. ) Lately every time I get hit with OCD/anxiety I get through it but then after instead of bouncing back like I normally would I just feel exhausted and like crying. I give up and lay down.
I’m just so tired of it and I don’t know how to get out of this cycle. | OCD |
Discriminating against applicants for a job because they're autistic has got to be one of the dumbest things ever.
[This lady is a straight A student and has applied for *40* jobs now, but no one wants to hire her.](https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/no-one-wants-to-give-her-a-chance-the-straight-a-student-turned-away-from-40-jobs/LOIENQ5HOSREDRMNQMB5VQP3WA/) And that's in a country that has a severe shortage of people in her field!
Yet it seems to me that autistic people do really well once they settle into a job. We *want* to work, we know how to compensate for our differences, and we're willing to work hard! It's a no-brainer! This article even says that people with disabilities have a much lower absenteeism rate. | aspergers |
… breaking commitments FEELS WRONG and it consumes me, and I ruminate and feel bad, and I just WANT TO FEEL LIKE I FINISHED THE JOB.
I’ve been used and abused by people because of this my whole life.
Gotta feel JUST RIGHT.
My exposure today involves ignoring toxic people who weaponize commitments against me. | OCD |
6.30 am now, sun has risen and I still can't sleep. I feel awful, so bad that I can't make myself say anything positive. I know it's just a feeling but I'm hopeless. I know it will pass, but it will take too long and I don't have the energy yet to do anything. I'm so lost.
I understand people don't want to talk to me when I'm negative. So I'll just scream into the anonymous void. I lost two friends recently because of my negativity and risked losing two more. I had to stop talking about my problems and I calmed down for a while before it came back in full force. I feel that nobody wants me. I'm almost 33 F, unemployable and unattractive, and it's not just because of depression or mental health issues. I'm failing at everything and my physical health is terrible.
I have nothing to look forward to in life anymore. Even if something totally awesome happened to me tomorrow, it wouldn't make up for all the hurt and loneliness I've been through in life. I can't make it alone, I need somebody just to survive. But nobody wants a dependent. They all want someone who can stand alone and do a lot of work alone. I can't burden my friends with my shit because they all have their own shit to deal with.
I am a failure in every way irl. I just wish I had someone to meet all my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs because I really can't take it anymore and it's beyond what professionals can and are willing to do. I dread every day because I tried and tried to make it whether alone or with friends or with medical help, and nothing got better for me. I just got old and tired and hopeless.
Life has completely crushed me. My degree is worthless for finding jobs because I have no practical skills and the graduation was a joke. I have friends but they never text me first. I feel like a whore texting them with small talk to maintain the relationship. I am helplessly in love with someone who doesn't feel a thing about me. He was the only one I could tell about some of my passions and desires in life. If I let him go and try looking for other men to talk to, then I'll feel like I'm whoring myself all over again for a little attention. When I need much more than attention. I need to feel loved.
Some people will argue that I need to love myself. Well, I tried hard and you'll have to believe me. Every time I work on myself, I fall apart after a few steps forward. I cry because I have no one to share my achievements and my interests with. I am too weird to bother people with my hobbies and topics. And of course, I'm not allowed to talk to about my depression, or they'll be dragged down. I'm afraid that the person I'm interested in is not only uninterested in talking with me but also annoyed that I've fallen so hard and fast. My friends are the reason that I can't off myself, but they're all too far away and busy to help me with anything irl. They don't realize that they put on me this huge burden of trying to become productive, cheerful, and lovable. While inside, I'm falling apart.
I just want some respect, understanding, support, companionship, and love. Is that too much to ask? Maybe for normal people it's not. But for someone like me who has nothing to offer and will just be a burden, it is too much. I'm not surprised people leave me; I'm jobless, useless, worthless, unhealthy, ugly, fat, I have a selfish, needy, and pathetic personality. I would leave me if I could. | aspergers |
EDIT: I’m sorry for not responding to everyone. These past few days have been stressful for me and I can’t form words properly, but thank you all sincerely for your insight and help. It means a lot, really. I do want to try my best to be a good boyfriend for him, and your advice helps. Thank you all again ❤️
My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years now, and best friends for even longer, ever since 2017. When we were friends a few years ago, something traumatic happened to him caused by his family member, and it ended up giving him PTSD and depression that lasts to this day.
These past few months have been incredibly hard for him, because it’s the anniversary of his traumatic event. He’s been depressed, prone to panic and cries often, and is easily burnt out and unable to engage with others. I feel terrible seeing him in this state, because I know he’s in pain. I can’t imagine how hard this is for him.
I don’t have PTSD, depression, or trauma myself, so I don’t know the best way to help. I try to check up on him daily, and comfort him and keep him company (with his consent) when he’s panicking, lonely, or upset. I remind him on a near daily basis I love him and he’s not alone. But, I wanted to ask for advice from people that really know what my boyfriend is going through, and what I can understand about his condition and further do to help out as his partner, because I don’t understand everything as someone who doesn’t have PTSD. I recognize I won’t be able to “heal” or “fix” him, and I can’t force him to be happy. But I want to be there for him and be a caring partner like I always try to be. I want to ease his burden and let him know I love him and that I am there. He’s my whole world, and I want to be a source of comfort, understanding, and love for him when he needs it.
So, my main questions are:
- What are some important things I should know about my boyfriend’s PTSD?
- What should I do as his partner? What ways I can help him during the anniversary of his trauma?
(Note: I feel like a notable thing I should mention is to please not mistake me, the op, for a girl. My boyfriend and I are a gay couple if that matters) | ptsd |
Hi all, seen a few posts like this, so thought I'd share mine because honestly, ocd makes you take yourself VERY seriously lol so figured we could use some humor.
I've been doing some self ERP, and actually found myself laughing at how absurd some of the scenarios were getting.
I've also been able to quit a compulsion by thinking how ridiculous the obsession is. For example, one of my themes is constant worry that I hit another car while driving. Pulling out of a parking lot? Probably hit a car. Hit a bump or rock in the road? Definitely hit a car. One day I was obsessing and wanted to act out my compulsion to go check on the vehicle in question, but then I thought. Holy shit. If you ACTUALLY hit as many cars as you think you did, you'd be the world's WORST driver. Literally, you'd get into like seven car accidents a day, every single day.
They would need to make a reality tv show of just you attempting to drive lmao.
Anyway, it has helped with that theme a bit, and I've used it for others as well. So hopefully you can find some humor in the absurdity of ocd. Wishing you all the best! | OCD |
to preface this, i have not been diagnosed with ocd nor am i self diagnosing with it though i definitely show some symptoms.
okay, hear me out. I dont mean the title as being self pitying but rather i feel incredibly annoying bc i keep doing this.
basically, how do i stop feeling the pull to tell my mother EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. not only r*assurance (censored bc potential bot) but also if i keep things from her it feels like i’m going to like explode from the weight of it staying inside my brain or something. the problem is that i’m constantly doing this and sometimes i interrupt her — I can hold off when she’s on the phone or doing something serious but while i’m waiting all that’s on my mind is telling her whatever i meant to tell her.
this really isn’t a sustainable way of life so if anyone has tips on how to get rid of these urges please give !! (writing it down to vent has not worked as is so far, just as a heads up. i need someone to hear and reciprocate me to feel “okay” again, so i might just need distraction techniques.) | OCD |
Does anyone else feel this way? Every morning I wake up I immediately feel pulled back into reality, from my blissful state of sleep and forcibly brought to the realization I still am not the person I want to be, have the things I want in life or goals accomplished. This feeling spikes in the morning, which I gradually dull down with daily doses of distraction such as YouTube and then late at night, where the absence of sunlight somehow initiated the fantasizing process for me, and I revenge procrastinate till late at night until the days repeat itself. | depression |
Does anyone else feel numb, like they don't want anythink, an think like "whatever"? I feel like I don't care about things, I think like "I don't care what I'm gonna wear today" and I also don't get as excited for things as I used to before. I have been taking meds, so maybe it's meds that make me feel like that. Can meds change personality? Ppease help. | OCD |
DAE have digestive issues like Candida, SIBO and/or Parasites?
I have reoccurring digestive issues such as Candida, SIBO and parasites even though I eat really clean and take the right supplements. I am convinced my body and immune system have become weakened and vulnerable to these conditions due to being under stress. The stress of being abused for so long leading to CPTSD can really put a toll on our body. I think my feeling of being stuck in my trauma manifests in my body where my digestion, parasites, and bad bacteria become stuck in my body. I believe as I continue healing from the trauma and release, my digestive issues will also go away. I live a lot of my days tense and hypervigilant. Anyone else struggle with similar GI issues? | ptsd |
So i got tested 6 month after protected sexual encounter low risk. Negative ofc
Now i did a blood glucose on this girl, i pricked her finger, squeezed out blood, a supertiny portion of it touched my thumb, i proceeded to wipe my thumb on my pants, then i went to the restroom to wash my hands with soap and water (which kills the virus) but ofcourse i noticed i had a tiny cut above my nail of my thumb… so im not sure if the water possible transported the virus into my cut, and even the cut was 2 days old and probably no access to my blood, but still it hurts when i pour alcohol on it.
Trying to think that, she most likely dont have hiv, i probably washed away and killed all the particles. But in spiraling and cant come to conclusion.
Talking with doctors and they said its not a risk.. but you know how it is | OCD |
Doctor prescribed Klonopin for my OCD, I started feeling better, everything was good. Suddenly I start feeling worse, I look for reassurance everywhere, I text all kinds of people to make sure Im ok, I spent god knows how much money on doctors to tell me that Im okay, but I don’t believe them, because i feel ny heart beating weird, so I think I will die, so I take klonopin at night, then im better, then I wake up and Im full of fear again, I don’t take the klonopin during the day because I don’t want to become addicted like I did with xanax, so I just feel bad for tje rest of the day. I stopped going to the psychiatrist, i just call hin for the prescription and he gives it to me, I take larger doses at times, because Im worse. I don’t even know if what Im writing right now makes sense. But Im scared and I will look for real help today
if you read this thabk you | OCD |
I don't know if what I'm experiencing is ptsd or not so I don't want to say that it is but I'm not sure what else this whole situation could be | ptsd |
Been really getting caught up in obsessive thought spirals, researching, worrying, etc
Anyone have any advice for exercises to help with this? Especially grounding or journaling? Whatever helps you, I’d love to hear! | OCD |
basically what’s happening is i’ll see something specific (ex. a balloon) and i’ll instantly begin to obsessive over it kind of. i’ll forget about it, then i’ll force myself to remember it over and over again. this only started happening on thursday after i became hyper aware of my thoughts and breathing. i looked into it and is it possible that i have somatic OCD or something similar? it’s like my life has been flipped upside down and i just want it to stop. i used to suffer from something similar when i was younger but it went away for years. any thoughts? | OCD |
After years of ups and downs I've found some 'early warning signs' that usually happen before I fall into a depressive episode.
1. my screen time is usually 8+ hours
2. My room becomes dirty and untidy
3. Porn/youtube/social media binges
4. Avoiding work at all costs
5. Don't care about my appearance
6. Sleeping a lot
So I told myself today. I not let him win. 'Him' being a version of me I don't like, a version of me who is lazy, unproductive, cranky etc
So I tidied my room . Not a deep clean, just tidied the clutter thay developed.
Took a lot to do but I feel slightly better.
Just needed to share as I hope it helps or inspired somone else. | depression |
I got a voice message this week about my case, and I should really reply but I'm terrified. I had so many bad experiences with this before. I just want it to go away but it won't. The phone is the worst part, I can't do phonecalls with someone I've never known, about the worst, most intimate details of my life.
What should I do? | ptsd |
Hello.
I have been suffering from OCD for about half of my life now, and I pick at scabs and my skin a lot, likely due to BFRB. Due to this, I'm unfortunately covered in tiny scars, and their appearance lowers my self esteem even more than it already is. Is there any methods to use to try to make these scars fade? | OCD |
I am writing this right as I woke up from yet another nightmare. This one happened in my family home and it involved my worst theme, the one that has been bothering me for months.
Until I googled it, I didn't know that OCD and nightmares are so tightly linked. Why aren't we talking about this more? We are seven times more likely to get diagnosed with sleep disorders than people with other mental disorders and no OCD.
Share your experiences below and any advice if you have it! | OCD |
I've tried to see life under a different perspective. I've been in medication but I still have this constant thought of death. I am trying to go to school every day but it's very hard and for what? My grades are bad and my family and friends are just a mere distraction from this feeling of emptiness. What's the point of everything? Why am I even trying? Things did not actually get better. I only got used to feeling like this. | depression |
i think i have ocd and usually the obsessions go away within a few months but ive been having the same theme for about a year now and i think im going crazy. i need to get diagnosed with whatever this is so i can get therapy but im 17 so i cant because my parents dont know.
i need to be able to talk to someone who could tell me if they think this could be ocd or not, im so scared that its not really ocd because that would mean that the thoughts are my own. i need a counselor that i can message or something. someone please help | OCD |
I’ve been depressed for my entire life, save 3 or so months between April and June l/July of 2020. I hate myself so much it hurts.
Because depression is hard to be around, I’m very very isolated. I made the mistake of not building back up platonic relationships, and jumped right into the best relationship of my life and then ruined it. He left me because it didn’t seem like we had enough in common, even though we got on like a house on fire in the few months I seemed mentally stable. I can’t blame him for making me leave, but I truly want to die now. I wanted to die before, but I felt a duty to stay alive because I was loved.
I recently lashed out at my best friend (who literally needs space from me at this point and i totally respect it. I needed space from her when she was in the depths of addiction) and an old friend from high school.
The old friend from high school saw a sad shitpost that I shouldn’t have put on IG (it was up for like 3 minutes and I deleted it out of shame - I never really post on social media and for whatever reason I decided to word vomit about my ex leaving me and my dog dying in May), and reached out to say something nice. I thanked her and said we should catch up sometime and go to lunch or get coffee. She said yes.
The next day, my best friend (who I haven’t been so close with over the past few years. I don’t feel comfortable putting all my negativity on her and honestly sometimes she’s bad at paying attention, also she struggles with depression as well, so it’s just not something I want to discuss with her) calls me and asks what’s wrong, bc the mutual friend from hs asked her what was going on with me during a conversation they were having. It made me so uncomfortable to know that people were talking about me without my knowledge. It was all out of good intention, and apparently I’m scary to ask things to. I hung up on my friend who called me worried about it, and messaged the hs friend ‘if you have questions about my life, pls ask me instead of other people’. I’ve since apologized for sending the message, but haven’t talked to my best friend who clearly asked me not to reach out until I was ‘ready to gave a mature conversation’ about what happened. She also has a massive issue with the way I go about having men in my life, and I know she just needs space. I do, too. I don’t trust anyone, or their intentions.
Do you think antidepressants will help with this? | depression |
For those of us who have graduated, or who are still in school, who did people see you as/how do people perceive you? In ninth grade, I was "Slim Shady Girl". The seniors would give me high fives in the hallway and fistbump me. It wasn't a bad identity. During the last three years, I was the resident goth who listened to deathrock and post punk music and promoted local club nights. Unfortunately, I really *was* misunderstood and depressed at the time.
Over a decade later, I found out about the rumors that I was a potential school shooter. (This especially aggravates me because, at least in my online social circle, I went out of my way to denounce news articles that linked the goth aesthetic to malevolent actions.) I almost never spoke. Without my participation, without ever knowing why, I became hated. I was mocked by everyone, even the teachers. It was nothing I did. They just needed a scapegoat to let them bond over a common enemy. It felt like middle school had never ended. Looking back, I wish I'd found a clique of alternative kids or nerds, but I don't think those cliques even existed in my school, where everyone wore a uniform and piercings and wild hair colors weren't allowed. It didn't help that my sociopathic "best friend" did her very best to gain popularity by spreading ridiculous rumors about me and divulging secrets.
I'm still into goth. It wasn't just a phase, mom!
So that sucked. It sucked enough that I had to finish my final year by correspondence. I'm still amazed at how blatantly cruel people were. Especially the teachers. They were like chimps gleefully attacking a monkey, pulling it apart limb from limb.
Years after graduating, I'd run into people from my school and they were all friendly, like, "Hey, hi! I remember you!", as if the bullying had never happened. Well, nice to see you, thanks for giving me PTSD.
I recall something an online friend in the goth scene said to me in my last year: "Years from now, you'll be the only one they remember."
Who were you? Like me, are you glad it's over? | aspergers |
I am not talking about instant gratification things that will make you spiral worse. Unless its cleaning or volunteering your time to a greater cause.
The trouble with depression is that you have no energy to do the things you want to do so considering to do something that you don't want to do is not even an option. Finding a job that feeds my soul is helping me climb out off my pity pit. We all have are own journey. Good luck to you! Remember if you think you can or you can't your right! | depression |
I’ve always liked having a home that is clean, neat and organized. Once every week, I would spent about an hour and a half dusting, vacuuming and making sure the kitchen and bathroom were clean.
A few months ago, my girlfriend moved in and I’ve been living in chaos and messiness. I’ve been wanting to give my place a deep, intense, thorough cleaning but she doesn’t like putting her things away and there is a ton of clutter.
We’ve made efforts to get more organized but my anxiety and irritability goes way up when there’s filth and mess. We’ve talked about it and even though she’s on board, she still leaves her stuff lying around.
I don’t if anyone else on the spectrum has this problem but if you have and have reached a solution or middle ground, I need to know. | aspergers |
Since I was in grade school I never wanted to live. Finding hobbies and things I was passionate about was always a struggle. I was never motivated or wanted to do anything. In middle school I was severely bullied. I lived in a household where there would be constant fighting everyday. I never felt pretty and have always been insecure about my body. I would choke myself before I went to sleep hoping I would never wake up. In my senior year of high school I decided to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. I didn’t take medication because that wasn’t the route I wanted to take. So I learned mental exercises to help ease the mental pain I was going through. It helped so much. It didn’t cure me but it made me want to live.
I am 20 years old now, living the life I’ve yearned for. I’m blessed with a loving fiancé and have nephews and nieces who are my life. I’m a college student and have a job. It’s been a month since I’ve noticed my depression reappeared. I’ve been going to the gym daily, trying my best to keep myself motivated and doing something, trying to keep myself away from going back into the space I dreaded most, but it keeps getting worse.
Some factors that could be causing this are:
-birth control: I’ve been on Loryna for about 7 months.
-New job: I have started an amazing job where I’m having an important impact on kids. However it is mentally draining but I like what I am doing.
-Moving: in about 6 months I will be moving to a different state to live with my fiancé, leaving my family and friends. This is something I need to do, but it will cause a lot of difficulties with my school. I have tried communicating with my partner about this and having him move to my state til I finish but it’s not an option for him.
-Relationship with my mother: Our relationship has always been strained, but since I have gotten engaged she has been very disrespectful to me and continues to cross my boundaries. It is to the point to where I completely refrain myself from having any sort of contact with her through out the week.
I don’t know what to do. I have been doing the things that helped me before, surrounding myself with friends, fixing my diet, but it’s not helping. | depression |
I (23F) was diagnosed 3 months ago with adhd after my bf pointed it out that I can't think in a linear line. I always just thought I was depressed and lazy (so that's why I failed out of college after being a straight A student, right?) so I did some research. here we are now.
my boyfriend of 3 years (24M) was your classic hyperactive adhd kid but now presents as more of an inattentive type. He claims he has known that he has ADHD for awhile now (which I 100% agree with), but refuses to go see a doctor or learn more about the condition. When I discuss symptoms and common problems for people with ADHD, he gets upset and thinks that I am trying to tell him something is wrong with him. I'm actually trying to do the opposite, bc I know he is harder on himself than anyone I've ever met (thank you n\*rcissistic father). when I was diagnosed, I wanted to know everything I could about adhd, so I don't get why he wouldn't want to as well. He's absolutely brilliant and a true visionary, he just gets so beat down by the bs of everyday life. He also hates the idea of needing help or getting help from someone else, but I'm just hoping that one goes away with age.
things have been getting harder though, as he has a lot of new family drama he's dealing with. The mood swings and anger are off the charts. Then an hour later, he's fine and acts like he didn't just scream about his family for 30 minutes. His stress levels are way too high as well (full time stockbroker, full time student, full time dealer of my occasional bullshit, and full time stand in father for his younger sister who was kicked out). I can't be his therapist and I refuse to give him any of my medication bc I know he could easily get his own (i'm a nursing student so I guess I should have morals). I'm at a lost for how to help and I can see how this might sound codependent(gross). I don't want to get to that point and end up taking care of him and picking up what he drops. His stress and mood swings are starting to affect our relationship. I owe a lot to this man since he saved me during the hardest time of my life. He deserves to be happy all the time, and I just want to show him some ways to get there faster.
so adhd reddit, how does one suggest that a man get help without offending their ego? | ADHD |
I was even afraid typing this out might cause it to come true 😭. This was like my 5th attempt typing this that I didn’t close the window. | OCD |
No need to reply at all to this post. Just feel like I need to put it out there. I've been on antidepressants for over a year now and even though I'm "better" and not depressed all the time like I was before, I still find my mind always going back to the same old thought that I just absolutely hate, even despise, myself. There's no reason for it either. I don't think I could even provide an example of why I hate myself. I just do.
Even though I know it's a dumb/invalid thought. It just seeps in and becomes overwhelming. It doesn't matter if I know there's no basis for it, I just absolutely hate myself. | depression |
(Just here to vent)
M23, I have been disappointing my dad and my mom for a very long time now. I have hurt them again and again, I know they might be devastated by always expecting something good from me but getting only pain in return.
I am very bad at everything I do, specifically I have been very bad at my studies since sometime now. I keep failing my tests, my dad kept telling me study hard focus but I always let him down. There are many other ways I've hurt him but right now this is the main reason he's not talking to me.
I always try my best but things just don't go well, I study well too but I don't know where I'm wrong.
As much as I hate to admit it, as it feels like an excuse. I was sexually abused by few people and molested by many. I do blame myself for that. But I don't know why i have not been mentally well. I was and am still suicidal, I know it's an act of cowardice on my part but I am unable to get rid of it.
My parents don't believe in mental health so I'm not allowed to see any therapist or something. But I did go see once, that's another story.
I feel horrible, I know my dad is hurt and I don't even have the guys to apologise to him for my mistakes. I'm just a worthless scum.
I'm basically a curse for my parents. | depression |
Mostly, a physician failed to find out your life history to diagnose the PTSD, and caused you to suffer more?
Or made you suffer treatment you did not need or was ineffective? | ptsd |
One part of this horrible condition is that it totally convinced me im faking having a condition, im just a shame of a human who failed his life and putting his failures on an imagerinery invisible condition
Ive been bullied a lot in a high school, and afterwards developped severe chronic ocd
Im spending my entire day believing that if i changed the high school i wouldnt be traumatized and i wouldnt develop this disorder
I dont know if that makes sense
Maybe After eleven years im still not in acceptance
I dont know if anyone Can relate | OCD |
Do or did anyone else here experience something akin to AWAI (Alice in Wonderland Syndrome) where everything suddenly feels too large, small, fast, loud etc? I would get these random sensory overload episodes up until my 20s, same as my son and mom did. Basically it’s like everything feels angry and stressed, including your own thoughts. I noticed this a few times as an adult too when overly tired or under some kind of influence—tried weed a few times and it was a horrific trigger. Is this a symptom of Aspergers? Both me and my child have ADHD but I suspect there’s an overlap somewhere due to symptoms like these. | aspergers |
I don't know if I'm the only one experienceing this, but for me, OCD makes it almost impossible to watch any sort of media that slightly deviates from what my stupid OCD approves of. Here are some examples:
- I can barely watch a show if the characters' physical appearance bothers me because of certain traits like their body hair, choice of clothes, or even just how good looking they are (I know it's superficial, but it botherse like crazy. I wish it wasn't like that, because it also affects me with people irl and that sucks)
- I struggle watching old movies and TV or listening to old music because the old aesthetic and quality bothers me constantly.
- with music, I might hate a certain band or artist because of some very minor things in their production or the harmonies in their songs.
I hate that it's like that because I miss out on so many things that I would've loved if it wasn't for my OCD.
Does anyone else experience this too? Or is it just me... | OCD |
It fucking sucks to know that i and so many people are just living with mental illness that goes unnoticed and untreated and literally just festers and grows bigger and bigger everyday. I'm 22, been suffering with depression and other things since i was like 13, i remember being young and being suicidal , i remember crying myself to sleep everynight, i remember starving myself , i remember the immense pain i felt ....and it has just been that way now for so many years and its like im living with a black hole in my chest. I fucking wish mental health wasn't so stigmatized ....i wish it was easier to get help. Because i so desperately want and need help. I dont want to feel this way...i dont want something i cant even control affecting my life. I dont know what went wrong with me or what triggered the onset of my mental illness , i don't know what age i was when i started showing symptoms , i can't even remember most of my childhood. I think maybe i was just born this way. I don't even know whats wrong with me, truly , all i know is it fucking sucks and its been this way for years. I want out of this bullshit. | depression |
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