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Hey guys! I just wanted to come on here to shed a little bit of light. I was in a very dark place for about 5 years. I was not living my life but just merely getting by to survive. I was not happy in the slightest bit and I was watching life pass me by. I was in a constant state of disassociation and panic. I felt a lot of guilt/shame so I feared seeking help. I have finally sought help and I feel like the woman I always knew that I could be. I am taking a medication called prazosin and it has saved my life. I am so hopeful that one day I will make a full recovery. I’m here for everyone struggling ❤️love you all | ptsd |
Okay, I'm pretty new to this. Trying to figure myself out. I'm undiagnosed btw, but I'm nearly certain that I am on the autism spectrum (I hope I'm saying that correctly). I have taken the AQ test online, and it confirms my suspicions.
I have talked to my mother a little about this and she says that she doesn't think so, as there wasn't any signs there when I was a child. I find that hard to believe though. My whole life as I can remember has been a struggle, to be honest. Is this normal for people that has been diagnosed at a later stage in life? I'm 26 now.
I have also talked to a psychiatrist that I went to, and he didn't believe me either. I was set on opening myself to him about everything, but the second I walked in I felt myself masking again.. it's very difficult to "turn it off", especially to a someone I don't really know.
Sorry for the chaotic writing. I have a lot of questions but it's hard to put it in writing. Thanks anyway😊 | aspergers |
Everytime I feel better, getting an unknown message or calls gives me anxiety and flashbacks.
Does anyone else have this? What did you do to ground yourself? Feel free to share your experience. Advice is also appreciated. | ptsd |
We got my late FIL’s furniture over the weekend. He passed away in June. Within a week after his passing, I returned to working in clinic after a few months of working from home d/t COVID. Nothing about my job is the same.
Just a few weeks ago, there were wildfires in my area that made the air hazardous. I had my car all packed, ready to evacuate.
My employer has not provided the resources to manage our new patient work flows. We are constantly behind and merely staying afloat most days. I used to feel guilty calling out sick knowing we won’t get any help. Now I don’t give it a second thought.
It is also looking like I may be developing an auto inflammatory disease. I will need to do an MRI to confirm. But meanwhile, pain and fatigue have been here all along.
Illness. Fires. COVID. Death in the family. The insults just keep coming before I’ve caught my breath from the last.
I just want to be somewhere safe and quiet for a while. Where I can cry. Just let the events and thoughts pass, without new insults to cope with.
I’m just sad. And tired. | ptsd |
Hello! My OCD is more so mental. Like I feel like I have to provide evidence to my mind and debate it, as if I have to prove to it how things really are. Honestly, it usually just leads to unhelpful rumination and worsening pressure or intensifying sensations/emotions (fear, panic, confusion,guilt). A part of me feels bad when I don’t entertain the thought, as if it’s something I should do, but I always end up feeling bad and ruminating if anything. Been trying this new practice where I just observe the sensations and emotions that come up, not even trying to care about the context of the thoughts. Been slipping up here and there but it seems to be effective. Anyone else have any similar experiences with this? | OCD |
I figured it would be fun to ask, I love hearing what others who also have ADHD are into at the moment, and I've been itching to share what I've been into too.
Right now I'm really into mushrooms, I've always liked them but just the past couple months I've really started to appreciate them. I've made a few paintings, some spore prints, and today I foraged for the first time and collected some puffball mushrooms to try. My favorite part is probably just the overall aesthetic, I just find them pretty, and I love vintage looking pictures of them too. I'm really hoping this fixation sticks, its low cost with high reward.
My longest lasting fixation has been hamsters, my family got one for my mom as a bday present back in 2017 but she pretty much became my hamster because I loved her so much. Ever since then I've been in love with them. Initally it was a joke, but on Instagram I've been bookmarking hamster pictures i like ever since I got into them. IG recently added a count to show how many you have saved in a folder, right now I'm at 4217 pictures. I think i love them so much because I made a personal connection with them after owning 4, they're just round fluff balls that like to run and snuggle. I've become an advocate for them too, they're often mistreated so that has pushed me to learn more about them.
One more minor fixation has been food, I've been into food reviews since quarantine began (not mukbangs or however you spell it, I can't stand listening to people chew) I think its because i live in a small town in the country side, so I'm not really exposed to anything besides typical "american" foods, like I want to try stuff from other places and the closest I can get to that right now is videos. I'll probably get into cooking a lot more once I have a job and can buy groceries myself. (I have food, I just feel really bad asking my dad who I still live with to buy extra things) | ADHD |
I have been thinking a lot lately about what happened to me as a child. I used to go to this day care at my dad's friends house and to be straight up I think my mom's daughter and her her friend used to touch me inappropriately and made me watch porn. I keep trying to bury these memories and pass them off as dreams or something I made up but I don't think it is. I remember so much of what happened to me. I wasn't the only one because I think a my other kids as young as me had the same happen to them as I remember in my foggy memory. This is just so fuck up. There's a lot I forgot. I don't even know if I'm a virgin anymore thinking about what happened. I didn't think anything of it. I feel my innocence was ruined. I was only about 4 or 5 when this happened. As much as I blame the kids they were in 4th and 5th grade when this happened and didn't fully grasp what they were doing. I left and came back to the daycare and I was like 8 but nothing like what they did happened again. Tell me what you think. | ptsd |
Just had a pretty heated fight with family over something as simple as me going on long walks for the sake of my mental and physical health. It probably isn't much but its really set home that I can't even have the smallest thing that makes life worth living. The major things - romance, love, friendship, belonging, health, hobbies - all crumbled to dust and I'm hanging further off the edge than ever before. Now having the one thing keeping me from spiralling completely is apparently taboo. | depression |
I know it’s a little bit silly to ask if a fictional character is on the spectrum but does anybody else feel that Michael Dorsey is it actually a pretty good representation of what Asperger’s really is? More so than many explicitly Aspie characters. | aspergers |
Anyone else have the problem of leaving comics, podcasts, shows, books etc unfinished? Like I’ll go to start a show and leave it half done for months. And if I got to revisit it I usually lose interest in it. Sometimes I do end up going back to the podcast for example and start over again. The only problem with that is that it doesn’t have that new feeling to it like when you just start something. Anyone else relate? | ADHD |
Hi. Just need to rant. I mean feel free to comment and whatnot, but not expecting responses.
**Short version in brackets "{ }" for those who want a shortcut read **
So over a year ago, I dropped college going into my 3rd year (majoring in American sign language interpreting).
I did sign up for an online landscaping program to kinda keep me learning/give me structure, which helped
Now I'm attending online university studying business. I'm only the second class into my program (I can only take one class at a time, cuz I want to actually learn what I'm majoring about , not just memorize it. I'll take 2 at a time with general Ed stuff since they aren't a priority).
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{{Short version of rant:]
Point of the rant.
I've spend over 3 hours today studying the previous unit vocabulary and looking over notes. I mean it's probably enough for what I need, but just frustrated cuz when I went back after taking a 3-hr break from studying, I can't remember the definitions to many of the terms I "learned/memorized" I can still match the definition side to the term, but not the other way around with the more complex ones.
Just frustrating cuz I spent so much time making them, and a lot of focus to study from them (a lot. Made my brain literally hurt by the 3rd hour), and almost feels like my effort was vain. Just sucks. Cuz it's making me think "why bother". Even though I really wanted to put in the effort to really learn what I'm being taught. }}
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I dropped the sign language because my 3rd year classes were extremely more difficult for me, as my interpreter classes transitioned into being taught in only Ask. Which I took the full 5 classes of but by my 3rd year, I could not keep up with what was taught at all. I couldn't pick up on the overall messages being expressed. I mean I should have practiced more ASL (at this time, I was undiagnosed).
Anyways, I've been making a real effort to integrate what I'm reading into memory. I've gotten pretty good at taking notes that are actually notes and not novellas , but I take forever to understand and apply it. And I'm worried that I'm going to run into a repeat of dropping out later on in the program . Maybe not necessarily a repeat, but im worried it'll get harder when I haven't grasped previously "learned" concepts .
I've been holding a lot of this in lol. I've ranted it to my boyfriend some who's supportive (and the one to suspect I had ADHD and got me diagnosed), but doesn't quite get the struggle still. My rants just worry him more than anything, worries him that I'm going to just give up and not attempt to keep trying . He's the best thing to happen to me and help me, but it's kinda made me filter my struggles with him to an extent. (Not looking for relationship advice either) . Just feels better to rant about it with people who experience it and get it.
Thanks to all who made it this far in reading this post 😂. Appreciated. | ADHD |
I feel guilty for not being able to be well. Especially when I’m being loved and gifted with lots of care, concern, a roof over my head, and family and friends. I have everything needed for my parents to raise a good and healthy child. But I am not well. I realised I had depression when I was 14/15 and now I’m 23 going 24. I dropped out of uni when I was overseas because I was gg to kms. I took medication since 18 and went to therapy but it’s been so long. I’m a failure. I don’t want to try anymore. I feel guilty because there was nothing that made me like this. I mean yeah some bad things but nth crazy. I’m so lucky to be in this position but I want to die. I have friends who care and a boss who cares. I’m not doing well at work as it’s sales based but my boss still keeps me around and encourages me. My friends are telling me to keep going. My parents and my sisters love me. I have everything needed to fight on but I’m tired and I want to end it all. I’m tired and all I do right now is sometimes go to work, sleep all the time and eat and shit lol. I’m scared of killing myself because of the pain and a fear of heights. I’m so so tired. Why is it so hard to create a routine. Why is it so hard to feel refreshed.
I feel even worse when I know that people who go through worse things are strong and here I am weak as shit and I just feel so bad. | depression |
I'm trying to tackle contamination obsessions around bodily fluids/secretions (urine, faeces, blood, etc.) and excessive hand washing. Has anyone started working through this obsession in ERP recently? What exposures are you working through for this?
I'm trying to come up with a hierarchy for exposures, i.e. a list of things to tackle with ERP that are gradually increasing in difficulty from very easy to very confronting. | OCD |
I only recently began hearing the word “mouthfeel,” and it explains so much. I about swooned when I took a drink of the Starbucks Nitro Coffee because it feels so soft and smooth in my mouth. (Get your minds out of the gutter!)
I hate mushy foods … mashed potatoes must be mixed up with some other texture like rich gravy or sauerkraut. Lima beans - ick. Kidney beans - I’ll tolerate you in my chili, but I don’t really like you. Green beans, on the other hand … perfection.
Talk to me about foods you like or don’t because of their “mouthfeel.” | ADHD |
Even during my depression I’ll get these small mini bursts of optimism and motivation thinking, “maybe I can make it?! Maybe I can improve my life and be happy!”
I have all these goals and things I want to do, and I think if I am able to do them; I can finally be happy.
I’ll go to the gym for one day, or run, or try to learn something new, or get started on getting my masters, but that’s all short lasting.
The next day, or the second I complete the quick task all I can think is. “What’s the point? I’m probably going to die anyway, so why spend time improving myself?”
“I’ll never accomplish anything, this is never going to work out”
I honestly have no will to even live life, all my energy is spent just existing by distracting myself and spending money on stupid shit just to forget about life.
I feel stuck in purgatory. Not courageous enough to kill myself, not motivated enough to make myself happy. I’m stuck. Existing.
But I’m not content in the life I’m living.
I want to change everything so badly but I can’t.
I want to be happy but it’s so hard and so much work. | depression |
I’m disgusting and vile. What I’ve done is terrible and I’m such a fucking terrible person. I deserve to die, I deserve to lose everything and to suffer. I’m so scared of loosing my friends but it’s what I deserve. I care more about them than anything else in the worls. I’m so close to killing myself. | OCD |
Disclaimer: Undiagnosed and unmedicated.
It's so frustrating! I got up to make myself breakfast at my desk cause I woke up hungry. That's why I got up early on my day off instead of going back to bed. So I got a bowl and stuff out but instead of making my breakfast, I turn on music cause music helps me wake up. That led to me inexplicably looking for a fanfic to read, I think cause that's the page that was open when I turned on my pc. My list of top favorite fanfics. So I clicked one and started reading. Now I'm almost done with chapter 1 and it's really long and I realized I forgot to heat up the food that's right in front of me! This is why I take forever to do anything...whether it's just an enjoyable hobby I've been looking forward to or something as necessary as eating.... | ADHD |
If you use SSRI or other antidepressants, in what dose did you notice a prominent effect on your ocd? (If you had any relief)
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/nsfnvo) | OCD |
my trauma is all i can think about anymore. it literally consumes my thoughts. i just wanna sleep constantly to get a break from all the constant thoughts and reminders. usually whenever i’m anxious i can cope but with this i just can’t. it feels like because my mind has nothing else to worry about, it just drifts to thinking about my trauma. i cant get a therapist, so does anyone have advice on how to cope? any help is appreciated. | ptsd |
My mental health has improved so much this year and the last 5 months it's finally given me enough stability and rest so that (with help of a therapist) I can process all the things that happened in the past. About a week ago I was talking to a friend about the heavy things that happened to me in the past, which kind of opened my mind and emotions, than she started talking about a super screwed up horror film she saw in which a guy was forced to rape his own son. I imagined how absolutely disgusted the main character must have felt in the story.
And I don't know where this came from but something inside of me opened up, and I feel like I remember having fealt that disgusted in my own real life before. Like, I don't know what event made me feel that way, but I know I fealt there was something in my brain that was so bad that I just can't even process it. Like it makes me want to vomit and scream and rock back and forth in a fetus position while crying while not being able to talk. It's the absolute worst feeling I ever fealt in my entire life.
I try to remember where this might have came from, but the absolute worst feelings I have ever had of which I have recollection were when my depression got so bad at points that I impulsively decided to try and kill myself in the moment (which I always stopped myself from doing) and when I had panic attacks so bad that I couldn't leave the house without my parents for three months. Those were moments in time so bad that, even though I'm doing pretty well right now, mental health wise, they still haunt me everyday. BUT the most prevailing emotions at those times that come up now are complete empyness and emotionlessness, and absolute terrifiedness. But never disgust, and never something that would give me this extreme of a reaction.
I don't remember anything event in my life where this feeling might originate from but I just know its real. And it scares me, I don't know what I'm gonna find when I finally am able to open up this door in my brain. Unlike all the other memories I deal with this one feels like I might not be able to handle it. But I'm not even sure what it is, like, my first instinct is to say it's a repressed memory, because thats what it feels like. But I don't even know if that's what it is, like, I'm not a mental health proffessional but I can imagine feeling like that might have other reasons.
So I guess my question, as someone who doesn't know anything really about PTSD and repressed memories. How do you recognize the difference between an repressed memory and something else? | ptsd |
In public I always have a flashlight, a CPR mask, a multi tool, pocket knife, blade on my belt, steel toe boots, collapsible brass knuckles, and a fully charged battery. | ptsd |
Sorry for being so depressed that my soul has left my body and i feel no excitement to do anything whatsoever. No, i only woke up a couple hours ago. Yes, I'm like this all the time.
And now i have to put on a fake smile and act all fired up otherwise someone else will make another comment. Sorry for being a complete zombie. I'll go home and then have my family question why i walk around like a 70 year old man.
Another day, another night. My lethargy just keeps getting worse. | depression |
There was a tiktok video doing the put a finger down challenge white edition. It was a black person doing it with the title "Let's see how caucasian I am" Obiously nothing wrong with the video. I looked in the comments and the first comment is "I put zero fingers down I went from white to black real quick" the creator of the original video responded saying to not say that. It's really racist. I can't understand why the comment is racist. It's making me feel racist as well. Some people commented "all these yts in the comments are trying so hard to he oppressed". For some reason my mind cant seem to figure out why some of the comments are really racist. It's making me feel extremely racist and making me feel like one of those people who would go "why can a black person make this video but a white person can't do it the other way around" I don't wanna be that person. I don't want to be the kind of person yo say that. I feel extremely racist. Here's the video https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdUFagb7/ you can look at the comments . I feel so racist | OCD |
So
My income varies wildly as I am on commission and I want something more stable. I'm in my early 30s and just had a baby.
So after a lot of thought (this journey has already started) I decided to go into IT and focus on cybersecurity and here is why I made this decision:
* I wanted a career field that massive growth, I find my actual performance can be mediocre, I generally am a good bit above average but I'm rarely if ever the best. I've come to accept that it is what it is, so I wanted a career field that even if I was simply middle of the road, I could still support my family
* I want a decent, stable income. A lot of the jobs I'm looking at are at $100k+ and I have a few mentors who have told me they are willing to hire me once I get my security + which I plan on taking before I start my semester in college.
* I did not want to be a programmer/softwave dev for two reasons. I don't think my ADHD would work well with programming. I've done some light programming I've worked with Java, PHP, HTML, CSS, however it was very challenging for me
* I like finding and figuring out solutions to problems
* I Like how Cybersecurity has a lot of different disciplines I could focus on. As an example since I have a sales marketing background, one thing I've been considering is focusing on policy
* I once had a work from home job I thrived in my work from home job.
* I am a computer nerd, I've been building my own computers for over 20 years, I've taken and passed other certificates in the past (long ago I got my CCNA, and A+ In HW/OS), I'm pretty good at fixing computers, figuring out whats wrong, etc. (Honestly I wish I would have kept with my IT track when I was young)
* I live overseas, I want to remain that way. I'm an American citizen.
So where I am at in my journey
* I just set up my classes for next semester, I will be taking my first computer class for my cyber security degree next semester (I was focusing on getting my math, English out of the way first because those are weak areas of mine
* I am currently studying for my Security + and my goal is to have taken my Security + exam before my classes start. Once I get my Security + I have a couple job offers to peruse (friends, mentors who have told me if I can get security + they will hire me)
Thoughts? | ADHD |
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s as a child before it officially stopped being its own diagnosis. When Asperger’s and ASD were basically thrown together, I started referring to myself as AS-ASD mainly because whenever I tried to look for advice or join groups with other autistics, I felt extremely invalidated and had my diagnosis questioned for being “too normal”.
From my experience, the ASD community forgets that the S in ASD stands for spectrum and some people just happen to be on the lower end, which most autism groups simply don’t cater to.
The only way for me to find people to relate to, is when I use the word Asperger’s like in this subreddit. However, whenever I do use that word, people higher up the spectrum get mad because they suddenly remember there is a spectrum and want us to refer to ourselves as ASD … but then when I do, I’m not autistic enough for them.
They feel attacked by the use of the word because they think that me talking about myself includes them somehow, which it doesn’t. It’s easy for people to be mad when they are able to get the help/advice they need but not all of us are.
To me, it really is only a more specific way to describe myself. I still consider myself autistic. It’s like saying green apple instead of just apple. It’s still an apple … but more specific.
Can anyone relate? | aspergers |
For some background, I have developed severe contamination OCD as a result of the pandemic. I'm afraid of people getting sick because of me, not necessarily getting sick myself.
I work at a job where I come into contact with a lot of people every day. When I come home, I use the inside of my shirt to open the door since I'm afraid my hands are dirty. Recently, it's even been feeling like that's not enough, so I disinfect the doorknob every night as well. Tonight, I went to the fridge to grab some food (which had to be a certain food from the freezer because I'm afraid eating food with my hands), but the door accidently slammed and woke up my dad. He yelled at me and I went back upstairs. Now, I still haven't cleaned the doorknob yet and I'm afraid to go back down there and risk waking someone up and getting yelled at again. This is a problem because I know my brother is planning to go out and get food tomorrow for the family. I'm afraid that he'll close the door on the way out and whatever germs I had on my shirt will go doorknob --> hands --> credit card --> cashier's hands in the drive through --> customers' food --> customers' mouths, resulting in infection and/or death. Basically, I'm thinking that other people could possibly catch Covid tomorrow because of me. I know surface transmission is low, as I've talked about in previous posts, but the possibility of something happening still makes me feel guilty. I feel like this is a challenge being presented to me by the universe but I'm too afraid and that someone innocent will die and it would be my fault. I don't know what to do. I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me, I just want another perspective. | OCD |
I thought this the best subreddit to ask on as my question's a bit out there. But I was cleaning up filthy toilet roll in my toilet roughly 3-4 meters away from the entrance to my open bedroom. I have severe OCD and my question is essentially, did I disperse fecal bacteria and introduce it into my bedroom. I know it's mostly harmless as we're introduced to the flush aerosol every time we go to the toilet, but I'd just really like to know if I introduced fecal bacteria to my room, and if so how do I sterilize it and with what? | OCD |
Many aspects of my life got put on hold after my experience and unfortunately things like my social circle completely atrophied away. I didn't have the energy to keep up my life not sleeping and anxiety. I did manage to keep my head down and keep working... but that's really about it.
Fast forward a decade, I am underpaid compared to my coworkers, overworked, and have put up with a lot of things that would have made other people leave. I just kept my head down and kept plugging along. It became routine and I was able to deal with it.
I recently got a good review for last year, but they shorted me half of my bonus because of an HR mistake. Nothing about my performance, disciplinary issues, or anything. Simply someone just put the wrong number down. I am trying to advocate for myself and some people have tried to address it... but the people who could fix are just like it is what it is.
There is some debt that I was going to pay off and then I was going to be able budget for a trip at the end of this year to see family. I kind of have to have some self respect and move on now. I don't really know how to keep it together to interview and put on a good face. Especially now that this new stress has entered my life.
Things like this used to not be so overwhelming and I really just want to give up. | ptsd |
I’ve recently started taking Vyvanse and the meds have noticeably lessened my anxiety… but now I’m struggling with under-stimulation. It’s like the lack of anxiety gives me… anxiety? Except it’s a new one I’ve never experienced. It’s not like “something bad is gonna happen” but more like “this is so boring I physically cannot be here anymore”. | ADHD |
So I was on vyvanse a year ago and lost my insurance. Now I’m back on insurance at a new job in a different state. I now want to get back on vyvanse. Pre covid my last doctor wanted an in person visit before he would prescribe vyvanse to me. So here is my question. Is that how all doctors do it or could I do a virtual visit and still be put back on vyvanse? | ADHD |
Hi everyone, I recently started an Instagram page that is completely anonymous. I hope to have others send In personal experiences/feelings with mental health. It’s the idea that the hard stuff can still be talked about.
Please feel free to check the page out. It’s @mayourheartsoar | ptsd |
I’ve wanted to go to medical school since I’ve been a kid, but have become really insecure lately thinking I just won’t be able to make it due to the struggles I have with focus and executive dysfunction. Just been really worried that it’s not in the cards for me. Are there doctors here that struggle with these things and still came through successful? | ADHD |
I was just on the phone with my dad and I was talking about my aspirations to foster children and potentially adopt an infant and an older child for certain.
I said to him:
“Yeah you have to get a license here to be a foster parent, which makes sense, but it will be worth it because I probably will adopt one or two into my family since I won’t be having any natal kids of my own.”
He just blurted out. “It won’t be the same.”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” I demanded.
“It won’t be the same as (Sibling #1, Sibling #2, Sibling #3)’s children.”
“FUCKING HOW SO?”
“They won’t be like my grandchildren.”
I am infertile, I became infertile when I was a teenager for a medical condition I’d rather not speak about at the moment, but my father and family know all of this and have always blamed me and resented me for it, and has seriously pressured my siblings who can have biological children but don’t personally want them to have kids so that the “family name doesn’t die”.
I’ve heard many comments like this over the years and my anger just finally boiled over, I said, “If you ever say that to my children in any way I will kick your ass to the curb so fast your head is going to spin, keep you shit to yourself.”
I’m so frustrated! Who says that? Why can’t I just have a father who is mentally well? Fuck him. | ptsd |
My gym buddies are asking me why Im not focusing on lifting as much, why the fire is gone, I am just telling them that I am tired, but in reality my ocd is consuming me, I haven't had a moment without resisting or trying to do my rituals in a controlled fashion for 10 years now. And this has gotten worse and worse, I cannot finish the rituals anymore, they are like unbreakable chains now , I will be sitting still in a chair for an hour trying to not go insane, and whrn do complete it, it is all over again, it is never truly over, it is always there, in my dreams even.
My problems are starting to appear to the people around me, I were battling this when I had the fire aswell, but now the challenge is too great for md to focus on both | OCD |
Hello . I've used reddit for a long time but never ever posted anything . Here goes my first. So at the title reads .. I have anger issues . I'm sure they stem from much deeper meanings and problems from my past such as my brother touching me when I was young .. To my mentally abusive father and being raised by a mother who was also mentally off a little bit . Apparently she was kicked by a horse when she was young . So yeah what a great mix . An over weight mental nut case mother and a Over worked Anger filled Father . And a criminal bad ass older brother who was convicted off rape .. When I was around the 7th grade . been locked up ever since ..
So that's what I stem from. It was hard when I was young but at least my ignorance was bliss for a while . As i grew older I slowly realized what a mess I came from and that my family's cycle would be very hard to break.
Although not perfect , my mom loved me and my father did as well. My brother did too and so did my grandma .. Aunt etc.. I was loved and shown how to love . and for that I was greatful . So anyways I had a argument today with my mother who I live with and it was pretty bad . I just realized I really need to find a way to help my anger and my mental state of mind . I've gotten pretty dark latley especially when I think about my shitty life. I try and be positive but I just need to take action.. But it's so hard when I feel so tired and depressed all the time. I'm not tryna sound like I feel sorry for myself but this is just who I am. I would love any advice on life or how to feel better .
Any tips on how to cure my anger issues ..?
Thank you anyone who reads this . | depression |
I have noticed that I go through waves of either seeking out characters or content that contain portrayals of PTSD, or I will AVOID at all costs any reminder that PTSD exists at all. During bad times with it I am more likely to seek them out, I find great comfort and even a kind of companionship with characters with it, especially violence related ones like combat related ptsd, even though mine is not due to military service. I think o enjoy these more because they tend to have similar symptoms to me. Does any one else do either of these things? Does it change for you? Do you recommend any movies or shows? | ptsd |
It’s Spotify Wrapped day, the day we find out what our hyper focus songs/artists were for the year - as if we didn’t already know…well, at least we would if our memory wasn’t so bad😂
I use music constantly as a tool to help w my ADHD, whether it’s to help me focus at work or just to help with time blindness so I don’t zone out in the shower. As a result, every year my listening time is ranked as somewhere above 90% of other listeners in the US. This year I had 49,495 minutes, or more than 92% of ppl.
Are we all like this? Drop your minutes below! | ADHD |
I have suffered from quite bad ocd to do with religious fears, does anyone have any advice? i feel a lot better now but the thoughts of languishing in hell ( me or my loved ones and friends) chips away at me sometimes. | OCD |
18mg concerta
Note - Diagnosed with ADHD and Anxiety
I had to take a break from my meds after a covid scare and didnt know if I could take them if I had it. I was only a week into the meds when stopping them and my body was getting used to the effects. When I start them again are the effects gonna come back worse? The only scary side effect was the elevated heart rate but when I was getting used to them it went away about a hour in. | ADHD |
I hope this is the right place to ask.
I went through a pretty horrible and traumatic incident where I could have been killed at the hands of someone else. I won’t get into it at all, but I carried that alone till a couple days ago (over 1.5yrs after the fact). I finally forced myself to call a trauma counsellor and tell her what happened, and then when I told one of my closest friends back home who only vaguely knew something happened but didn’t know how bad it was. I learned that if I talk to the right people, talking about it isn’t as horrible as I expected.
I think about 5-6 months after the incident and up to this day, it became increasingly clear to me that I was not okay. I’m still generally functional and I hide what’s going on very well (albeit covid isn’t helping), but I have long been aware that I very much fit the criteria for PTSD as I began scrutinizing some recurring symptoms/thoughts/behaviours. I’m not going down the self-diagnosis rabbit hole, but I’m very certain this is what I’m contending with.
I am not American, hadn’t been insured till now (for mental health, and mine doesn’t cover much), currently unemployed, moved to another country far away right before covid got serious, and straight up hadn’t been ready to talk about it till now partially as I hadn’t even consciously acknowledged that I could’ve died till a month or so ago - so that all means that I’ve not seen a therapist or psychiatrist yet. And I might not be able to afford see one very much. But, I think I can manage financially just long enough to get a diagnosis/diagnoses (cause who knows if I have PTSD, or even if I do, whether that is my only issue) if it only takes a few sessions. I’m just not sure how this works as I’ve never seen a mental health professional before, but I just want an official name for what I’m dealing with.
So my question is, how long did it take for you to get diagnosed after starting to see a professional after whatever caused your PTSD? If you show up knowing what event got you there, are you asked questions off a checklist or something to see if you fit the criteria or does it take several sessions to observe you? I’m not looking for medical advice or anything of the sort and I’m not saying I have PTSD despite my certainty that I do, given my situation and my symptoms; but I want to know how long it took for those of you who got diagnosed directly due to a traumatic event, and how did the process go after you started seeking help?
I really appreciate any insight. | ptsd |
I'm in university. Trying to find a career I want to spend the entirety of my life in. There's almost nothing I want to do, and the things I do like are dead ends with practically zero work opportunities.
My mother and I talked earlier today about school, life and work. I asked her what working was like, if it was hard. She answered that it was rough, but that she lived for the weekends. Suffering through the weeks just so that she could have dinners with friends when she was free. She said that no matter what I do, I will have to work. It is the constant of this universe.
I just can't do it anymore. I can't live like that. Waste away in an office, cry myself to sleep every damn day. High school sucked. University sucks. And guess what? Working will suck too. Life sucks.
I'm having a really hard time justifying staying alive. If all there is to life is endless slave labor and suffering, why not just die? Why do I have to "stay strong" and "keep fighting"? For what? More work and pain?
Go ahead. Call me a lazy fucking snowflake or whatever you want. I'm fed up. I can't live like this and I hope I can muster up the courage to end this shit once and for all. | depression |
I get to deal with a lot of clients at work (my company consults big corporations in long term projects), which is usually fine. I like my work.
Recently I've been assigned to a new client though who could be my abusive father's twin. Looks surprisingly similar, talks and behaves almost exactly like him. The first time I saw him, I had to excuse myself shortly as I was starting to have a panic attack in the meeting. I can't be assigned somewhere else right now, as there is noone else who could take this specific project. This sucks, I hope this project won't be derailed and I won't have to be there much longer...
Anyone else had similar experiences in professional settings? How did you cope in the moment? | ptsd |
I find foods like boiled eggs and pears to be disgusting and my brain puts it in the same category as feces.
I want to know your thoughts and opinions | aspergers |
Seriously. I'm in college and while school is one of my strong suits I cannot study while people are around me. Even the library. I don't have my own room, so I'm either with my roommate in my bedroom or I'm in the living room/kitchen and the other girls are there, the TV is blaring, etc. You get it.
I can't find anywhere to study. I basically spend the whole day procrastinating until everyone goes to bed and then I can get my work done in an hour before bed. Does anyone else have this problem?? If so, how do you get around it? Thank you! | aspergers |
Throwaway because yeah..
My father, has ptsd. So because of that, one of his symptoms is moodswings, hes often either normal or angry.
Just an hour ago, My mother said "dont overfeed the bird" while i was feeding the bird, then my dad got angry and said "if you f\*cking abuse that bird i will take it back to the store." it got me really distressed, my dad tends to jump to conclusions and he also cheats on my mother.
i hate him, hes the reason im afraid to come out of the closet. | ptsd |
For some reason, keeping my living space clean has ALWAYS been hard. I've been struggling with it for years. I'm not quite sure why.
Keeping MYSELF clean is easier (though maybe less so now that quarantine has taken away the motivation), its just my $%%#%ing room that is always a mess, I can never find anything, it looks awful and it feels awful to look at.
Sometimes I make some headway and pick stuff up so it's a bit neater, but it only takes three or four days before it goes to hell.
Does anybody have any advice or strategies they would like to share that they have found to be helpful? | aspergers |
I live in my Mother and Father’s castle, but in a prison cell my mind has constructed of its own volition. There are few upsides to being a jail bird of your brain’s merciless assaults on your moral character. One thing I do know with the up most certainty is that when I make it out of this cage (and you will too), the appreciation of all that brings me peace, tranquility, and happiness will become second nature. The road to breaking down the walls built by chemically imbalanced brains and the human condition is a difficult path but at the end of it I will find everything my brain tried foolishly to take from me. | OCD |
I feel very down the past few days. I feel like there is no way out and I am not even trying to do anything. I can't find any encouragement in myself. How do you people find hope inside yourself? | depression |
I was doing pretty well and had all but quit, and then I started taking adderall a few month ago - and it's like my cravings are on steroids. Eating doesn't distract me because I've been losing my appetite (I schedule my meals to make sure I eat and I love to cook so no worries there).
Anyone else have this issue? I'm holding strong but it's like I'm hyperfixating on cigarettes like never before. Tips and tricks much appreciated!! | ADHD |
On day 10 of Vyvanse, slowly up to 30mg. I absolutely hate it and feel like I'm losing my mind, but I don't want to give it up too soon if there is a good chance it will all settle. The main issues are:
-I feel totally scattered and dopey. I *cannot* get my brain to work. Completing basic tasks at work is difficult, and I feel really slow and weird. I just zone out in conversations and can't even finish sentences. Then I'll randomly zero in on some meaningless task like rearranging my desk and go ham on it, ignoring everything else I have to do.
-CANNOT EFFING SLEEP. I'm taking my dose around 7am, but still can't fall asleep til well past midnight (I usually have zero issues falling to sleep). I don't think the lack of sleep alone can account for the cognitive symptoms though, as it feels different from just being tired.
-Weird moods. Feel cranky, and flat..
-Super hungry.
-Absolutely exhausted, all day.
I feel bad stopping it so soon as this will be the second med I've tried after atomoxtine, but I feel like I'm going nuts. I was having pretty good results from atomoxtine+ssri but stopped it due to getting weird heart palpitations once the two meds were combined, and thought I'd give Vyvanse a go. I'm trying to do all the usual things to minimise side effects (early dosing, eat a good breakfast before having the medication, stay hydrated, no coffee, good sleep hygiene).
Did anyone experience similar, and did it go away? | ADHD |
I have explained so many times to this person about ptsd. Sometimes they are understanding and other times they say things as "this isnt your illness this is you being dumb right now".
I try so hard to communicate with them. Ive sent them articles, posts, research papers.
They have autism so i understand its difficult for them
Does anyone know the best way to tell someone about ptsd ? Its so stressful and invalidating | ptsd |
Was recently diagnosed with PTSD and bipolar disorder on top of the OCD I already was diagnosed with. My brain is a jumbled mess and I have snippets of memories and I don't know how to unravel all the tangles in my brain. I have vague memories but I don't really remember much before 8 years old, it's like a black void, I only know what others have told me, I don't even know if my memories are really or informed by what others have said. I just wanted to write this down. There is a lot going on and everything is kind of coming up at the same time, thank you if you read this, I'm not sure what the point was. | ptsd |
As some of you suggested i should write a letter to Dr b4 visit. Here is a 1st draft.....i know its long. Any feedback or rewording advice much appreciated.
Oh, and anybody who want to copy this as a template go ahead. It seems I'm not the only one who has issues at the doctor's
To Dr. X,
a note on upcoming new patient visit.
Hello, My name is X. I though I'd write this prior to our upcoming visit to facilitate successful communication. As someone on the Asd spectrum I sometimes have issues communicating in person. I write this to avoid some of the problems I've had in the past with other doctors... as they were uninformed to my situation and came to some less- than- helpful conclusions about my person.
This is somewhat embarrassing to write but here it goes... I have trouble communicating in-person, or so I'm told. These troubles include decoding facial expressions, body language and veiled references. Conversely, I apparently do not perform these actions correctly either. Most of the time it's nothing more than an annoyance for others, but in novel scenarios, such as a doctor visit, I don't possess the correct schema for how to act. If it looks like I understand I'm likely masking, I have a lifetime of masking practice so I think it's pretty convincing. Problems in the past have resulted in miscommunications such as the doctor thinking I'm mentally ill or I've been accused of being a drug addict. Neither of which apply. I've also been talked down to like a child or treated like an imbicile, unable to understand the doctor's reasoning so they didn't even bother. This also has lead them to disregard whatever it is I'm trying to communicate. As you can imagine it can be frustrating in the extreme. And counter-productive to the purpose of visit.
How I Communicate
1. I take and say things at face value. There's no lying or hyperbole, as I think it would be cartoonishly bad if I tried. The nature of my visit adds another layer of complexity as its an odd scenario. Is difficult enough for me to communicate, but there's no existing terminology for my malady which makes trading ideas and explaining symptoms very tricky indeed.
2. Think of me a computer program that responds slowly but has deep processing power. Very literal. | aspergers |
I have a lot of trauma which stems from specific people and the experiences they put me though. I’ve tried to survive and live as best I can but going outside is so scary because of the fact all these people live in my area still.
I’m not entirely sure if it was them because it’s been several years since what happened but I’m really scared that I saw them today and I just don’t know how to handle it.
I went home after that I really just don’t want to leave my house in this general area ever again I’m so scared of these people and seeing them
I’m trying to seek a therapist to help with these problems however because of covid restrictions it’s hard to get an appointment and I live with family who don’t know the full extent of my trauma so over the phone is off the table since I don’t want them to hear the whole story.
I just don’t know what to do with all this fear and anxiety I’m shaking and I always have nightmares about these people and seeing them irl is messing with me I just want to be safe
Is there any advice someone can give about what to do when you’ve been severely triggered ?? | ptsd |
hi so I’ve been struggling with my self image for a while now!! and i feel like I research way too much into eating habits and physical illness than what’s normal.
at first it was my teeth, i felt like i needed to brush them right after eating each day or else they would rot and fall out, if i didn’t brush before i went to bed i couldn’t sleep
then after i read about how stomach fat can contribute to heart disease and diabetes!! that’s when it got worse, because I started measuring my stomach almost daily to make sure it never went over 35 inches
i can’t even drink soda, milk, shakes, or juice because I just think of how bad it’d be for my teeth or my body and how it’ll like make this imprint somehow. but for some reason I don’t feel the same for sugar?
there’s other strange things too, like i would have to go back and read my homework several times to make sure there was nothing bad on it, it’s hard to describe my thought process but my brain just wouldn’t let me do anything else until I finished
the last one I can think of is how I have to check if there are spiders like brown recluses or black widows in my room or else it’ll feel like bugs are crawling under my skin, even though neither of these types of spiders have been in my room before that I know of
my family insists that these are normal, but now I’m not so sure. any help? | OCD |
Hi
While I can in general concentrated I am very easily distracted. I already have some methods which kind of work but still are not perfect (Turn of phone, headphones mit classical music in the background, room without windows, etc.).
My question now is if someone has some experience with coffee and if its helps. I am not taking any medication. | ADHD |
Anyone else get this? I’ve had numerous people tell me that I’m a sick person who needs help. But I’m not.
I’m not a creep, I’m just autistic :( | aspergers |
No one will see this but i need it off of my chest. I’m only 15 so whenever anyone sees that they say “ you have such a long life ahead of you “ it makes no sense. Everyday i feel like a walking corpse, it’s so hard to get out of bed. I just wanna die, all of my interest aren’t interesting anymore. I’ve fallen out of love with everything i used to enjoy doing. I have no friends, i got dumped on Monday. Which doesn’t help my situation out. But no matter how long i sleep i always feel tired, i know my life isn’t bad and people have it so much worse than me. Am i just a pussy for feeling like this, i always feel like i’m faking it or something i used to cut a lot but now i just don’t even feel like cutting anymore, I rather just lay in bed and listen to music. | depression |
For instance, I've been trying different to-do and note-taking apps and having trouble picking one and sticking to it. It truly causes great stress and I really don't do anything else than just keep searching Reddit/youtube on which app to use and why, the whole day. I grab a couple beers to watch a game, on every break, I just check reddit on what people think of a certain app.
Obviously, all apps have something to offer, some are simple, some are more capable but even when its very clear to me that system of choice is of secondary importance at best, and anyone could clearly be able to manage their life with whatever app they chose, I still can't bring myself to pick one and stick to it.
Any tips on how to cope with this? Options Im considering are
* Use the simplest system available, and force yourself to deal with it. Like picking iOS reminders and let say Google Calendar, where there are hundreds of other apps people prefer like tick-tick, todoist, things, omnifocus, 2do, anydo etc.
* Use pen and paper to plan the day and take short notes. If everything is on paper, maybe it'll push me away from constantly thinking of how which app is efficient on its own etc.
* Use whatever system for a duration of time. And consider moving on to others.
This is just about productivity, but I often see a similar pattern of thought bothering me in other parts of my life as well. Seeking higher efficiency is preventing me to not do anything. Such a weird feeling and way of thinking. I despise myself for it. I need to have my focus elsewhere... Any help/comment is appreciated | OCD |
I have memory problems from my PTSD (who can relate?), and it seems to be getting worse. Someone I'm very close with told me that she's noticed that when I'm at home in a stressful environment or stressed out I seem to have pretty regular lapses. A couple of weeks ago we had an argument and I got a little heated/upset. Afterwards she told me she was shocked by how heated I had gotten and told me I had said things I not only didnt remember saying but didn't even sound like me, but I know she isn't lying when says I said them. It seems to be happening more often in non stressful situations and topics too. She told me today that I had mentioned putting mickey mouse ears on her as a joke 5 or 6 times and I only remember ever mentioning that once. This is really scaring me, it feels like my mind is crumbling. I recently left an abusive relationship and I knew that had taken a toll on my mental health generally but maybe it made my PTSD memory problems worse too? Is there any help I can get for improving my memory? I've had things like EMDR and CBT to help process my trauma, I don't think I need anymore help for that, but I really need help healing the damage it did to my ability to keep memory. | ptsd |
Hi all,
​
I got diagnosed a month ago with ADHD (as an adult) and I've been given Vyvanse (Elvanse) 30mg.
​
After a month of use, I can say that the medication stimulates me for a few hours. In this period it is much easier for me to get out of my couch and get things done.
​
However, I'm also finding it harder to focus on one job, especially if is something not exciting (aka work). I tend to use this stimulation boost to just hyperfocus on unimportant tasks like shopping or going down the rabbit hole on some topic.
​
Has anyone experienced something like this before? Can you please share tips to get me a bit more focused and direct the drive towards work?
​
One solution that somewhat works is spending time in an actual office instead of working from home. Unfortunately, I can't do that with the current restrictions in my country.
​
I couldn't find relatable previous posts here - so asking this.
​
Thanks and I hope you have a great day :) | ADHD |
I've ranted about this before, and I'll continue to rant about it until I can figure out how to make people UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK I'M ACTUALLY TRYING TO SAY instead of assuming things that I'm not trying to say at all. Why the fuck is this so difficult? How many times do I have to beat someone over the head with something I want to tell them until they get it? | aspergers |
I have severe depression. But besides that, I will very sink.
I don't have any idea, I am just feeling that out of nowhere.
I really don't have people to talk with, I'm kind of alone, is there anyone who likes to talk with me?
Please?
Or at least just tell me why I am feeling very sinking.
My past really makes me feel uneasy. | depression |
I don't talk about sleep anymore unless I have to because no one really understands me when it comes to sleep. I guess that's because I'm crazy. I feel very lonely now, even though I have friends.
Recently, I've been feeling awkward with a friend I was particularly close with. I feel lonely about that too. I feel like I don't want to be around people anymore. I don't know if it's because of my illness or something else (I have other disabilities as well).
I often clash with people. I don't like it and I hate it. If I have a conflict with someone, is it wrong to use my illness as an excuse? | OCD |
She. Literally. Thinks. I. Am. Faking. The intensity. Of. My. Intrusive. Thoughts. For. A. Diagnosis.
no because this is pushing me over the edge. talking about hocd and pocd intrusive thoughts at all is extremely difficult but ON TOP OF THAT she doesnt believe me and thinks i have some weird plot??
ive had enough. im done with this life. | OCD |
Hey.
Sorry in advance. Long and boring post.
I'm aware of the fact that unless you're assessed you can't be certain you have ASD, etc etc.
However, my very wonderful and unique partner displays a lot of traits in line with ASD. I have brought up the idea with him and he is very dismissive. He was bullied all through school and I think the stigma of considering it is too much for him (he has done minimal research around it)
When I initially met him, I thought something was different and actually suspected ASD without knowing anything about it. He just didn't seem to read social cues, or care about them (I absolutely love this). After looking into ASD and reading about stereotypes such as tendency to introversion, unable to pick up sarcasm etc I completely dismissed it. He is hilarious, social, vibrant and sarcastic. He likes loud music and bright colors (hates other noises and sensations)
He is also genuine, honest, loyal, trusting, intensely focused, intelligent, sensitive, sweet and hard working.
We are 3.5 years into our relationship and there are some things I find quite difficult. I would not tolerate these things usually but I am convinced his brain is wired differently and that's why I can tolerate/justify certain things.
Some of the issues:
He is very focused on what he thinks is most important, and if we are not doing something incredibly productive or in line with what he values he gets frustrated.
He does not value any domestic chores (they are a "waste of his time"). I have tried to explain that I have to make up for the time he does not spend on it and it feels like he thinks his time is more valuable than mine. People have to eat, people have to contribute to cleaning etc.
He is very good at knowing when Im upset but not knowing what caused it. If I explain he usually finds it difficult to understand or contribute what is going through his head.
When we have arguments he just asks me to tell him what to do or say. The extent of his communication is "i'm sorry I'm a failure" and shuts down. This is not what I want, I want him to understand a different perspective. And I feel sad that he feels like a failure but at the same time I wish he would stop feeling sorry for himself and try and listen to what I'm trying to say, which is " I love you but your behavior is impacting me this way, this is what I need from you ____"
Something I am noticing more is his rigidity in his outlook of the world and people. He lumps many people with a certain likeness into one category and talks about them/treats them horribly. (E.g. priveleged boomers). Instead of considering that these people might be unaware and need to be educated he assumes that they're all bad and entitled. He likes to label people/situations negatively and dismiss them.
When I first met him he seemed to think he was better/smarter than lower class people in our country. He didn't realize my whole extended family fit this category.
He has been diagnosed with OCD and dyslexia as a young person already. I am aware that these can parallel ASD.
I feel like I am beginning to lose myself pleasing him and not having my own needs met. I am trying to communicate this but I am met with silence or a "sorry" with no follow up.
He has voiced that he has no time for his own mental health treatment or anything really except the business he runs, his favorite hobby and his friends.
I am trying to be flexible and understanding but my mental health is disintegrating.
Note: I grew up in an abusive/neglectful/addict household so I am very eager to keep the peace/make people happy. I am also not "NT" as such, I have an ADHD diagnosis so struggle with some similar things. I just find it much easier to see how my actions impact others.
Another note. He is my favourite person, I can't imagine being with another. I just want to try to get to a more sustainable place.
Sorry to vent, I am just hoping someone can either relate or perhaps give insight/recommendations. | aspergers |
I know that having PTSD is nothing to be ashamed of but i do sometimes experience freak outs and attacks from simple things that really should not have such an impact and it is stressful and draining.
For example, i am attempting to grow out my eyelashes and eyebrows and if one hair gets accidentally pulled out my body tenses up and i freak out feeling very angry with myself.
There are other examples but this is the one I remember the most, i think it stems from doing something that cant be instantly fixed so i feel stuck, like i can just put it back.
Any suggestions on coping with this? | ptsd |
I think mainly I'm looking to just not feel alone.
I was diagnosed at 23, and kind of even enjoyed the past 7 or so years of figuring myself out finally.
This year especially (and I know COVID complicates things), it's really hitting me how many things I have had to just accept and how many things in life I've decided to be a little more reasonable about. I'm kind of struggling with it and it's the first time I've really desired to be different in a way that deeply hurts. In some ways, this is great as I'm able to focus more on the things I enjoy that I can achieve. But in other ways it's hard some days not to just wish it was...just easier to live and exist.
If you've gone through a season like this, could you share about it? Even if you don't have answers I just wanna not feel alone and on some level I already know I'm not.
Edit: really appreciate this community, especially those who have responded, or just read this and felt it, and especially those posting under the "seeking empathy" tag the past few weeks as it made it feel very safe to be vulnerable.
Edit 2: I love the way people write on this subreddit. | ADHD |
I went out to the bar yesterday and it didn’t make any sense to me. I’m 21 for reference. It was super loud, dark, the drinks were expensive, it was crowded. I couldn’t even talk to my friends, just sat there. I was the DD so I did not drink either. What is the point of these places? | aspergers |
I recently turned twenty and was diagnosed with depression. I am in community college and trying to transfer to a university. I could’ve transferred to a four year school this past summer but my parents wouldn’t let me because I didn’t want to transfer to schools of their choosing. I have no friends where I am at currently, and have gone days without talking to other people. I have terrible social anxiety and can’t really find a way to cure it. I was in a relationship over the summer which ended the beginning of October, where I feel my depression started getting worse. This was the greatest relationship of my life and due to distance it didn’t work out. We barely talk anymore and while I would like to reconnect, it’s hard for me at this point. I feel useless and want this to end. | depression |
Apologies if this has been asked before. I have an appointment this week to be evaluated for ADHD and I am curious about what to expect. The place I'm going to hasn't really told me anything, just that I'll be there for several hours, and I don't like going into things blind. From y'all's experience, is there anything (documents, for example) I should bring with me, or any tests to expect? | ADHD |
by now we are all knowledgeable in various hobbies, but I want to know the hobbies that you invented for yourself in situations where you couldn't spend any money on hobbies and so you had to become extra creative.
for example, I had a couple of months last spring in which I was obsessed with plants but had no money on them, so I just kept walking around the city with a tote bag, some scissors and and i stole the occasional cutting. I also rescued lots of plants by, well, scavenging into the greenery bin. which sounds weird if you say it out loud but well
Edit: thank you so much for the awesome ideas that you y
guys gave me :) I'm going to obsess over some of them, either just in my mind or doing them for real. I'm trying to read everyone but it's kind of hard. and thank you for the awards too | ADHD |
Hey guys. I am just now coming to terms that I need to deal with this mental illness of mine. I’m a 22 year old woman. I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts since as long as I can remember and my nervous tick has been pulling out hair from everywhere on my body since I was 10 years old, trichotillomania I have been able to get various levels of control throughout my life, but it never ever went away.
I’m currently at the worst point with my mental health, probably ever. I have massive bald spots on my head, I cannot stop spiraling with my thoughts, and I end up spending most of my days staring at a wall, absolutely paralyzed, overthinking and tearing out my hair. I feel like I can’t even move. I don’t know if that’s a side effect of OCD or if it’s something entirely different.
I’m about to graduate college in two semesters with a degree I’m not passionate about, and I’m working my absolute ass off studying for the MCAT with super subpar results. I take it next Friday, and I’m embarrassed to even show up to the testing center. I don’t know what I want to do anymore, I’m completely lost. My boyfriend talks about us as if we have no long term future together and I’m scared to bring it up because it’ll mean ending the relationship. I live in a car I’m borrowing since I work in a different state, away from my apartment, and I can only afford one rent. I’m putting almost all of my money I’ve earned towards fixing my car which needs a new engine. I haven’t done anything enjoyable in a month since I spend all of my free time studying. I have no friends where I work since I’m not able to really get along with the Latter-day Saints community here (90+% of my 3,000 person town) so I am so lonely. My work sucks the energy out of me and I spend a lot of lunch breaks crying in my car in the parking lot. Im dealing with issues from chronic gastritis and GERD, which isn’t simplifying anything and in fact contributes to my spiraling since I know it’ll drastically increase my rates of stomach cancer, which I already have a predisposition to. I’m sorry for the rant but I’m spiraling and I just need someone else to hear this and tell me it’ll be okay and that I can stop crying and pulling out my hair. Please take this down if it doesn’t fit the sub guidelines. I just don’t know where else to post this since I feel most people do not understand how this really feels.
I can’t get a diagnosis/prescription or anything due to my rural location and my parents lack of support of treating mental health issues. I’ve been berated for my trichotillomania since day one and never received any support to get through this, as well as other mental health issues such as my anxiety. I’m going to get help as soon as I can. I can’t keep functioning like this. I’m so sorry for this rant. | OCD |
I’m not too sure what to say besides I have good days and I have bad days, like today. The one thing I appreciate the absolute most about the good days I spend, with my girlfriend, is I feel purely in the moment and can enjoy myself. There’s nothing quite like being in the moment.
For work, there’s a “call in” thing you call every morning to see if your working your shift for today. I really did not want to work today because I had the mentality of sitting on my ass and playing video games would be better than going to work. Well, I do not have to work today! And I was wrong. Girlfriend is at work right now, and I feel so lonely and depressed.
I just spent more money on junk food off of Uber eats because I thought it would make me feel better, it made me feel worse. I have to take my girlfriend’s dog out whom is a very sweet golden doodle, but he’s got so much energy and is so young that I get anxiety when I take him out as pathetic as that sounds.
He also has the worst separation anxiety (her dog). I feel like I can’t give the poor guy what he wants sometimes. If it were just me, I would never be able to take care of an animal properly.
But beside that fact, I feel like a miserable, hopeless, anxious, and very angry person. The relationship I have with myself is so poor I worry I’ll make it in life sometimes. My girlfriend wants to spend the rest of her life with me because beside my negative qualities like my poor mental health and anger, she still considers me the love of her life and I’ve never been with someone that cares so very much for me like she does.
I just don’t like the person I am. How angry I feel at times at the world around me. How jealous and insecure I can feel of people that literally do nothing bad, it’s just how I see myself and my relationship.
I feel so much pressure and sometimes I just want things to make sense in my mind. To not feel so hopeless and quit at every damn thing I do.
I’m really sorry this post is very negative. I just had to vent somewhere for people to see. I would like to mention that I am continuing psychotherapy starting tomorrow (my 3rd session), and I’m really looking forward to it. It will now be every week because I’m officially in the books for it. | depression |
So I’m 17 and there was this tiktok of a girl acting sexual. The comments said she was either 17 or 14. I personally don’t think 17 and 14 is bad at all so it doesn’t bother me if I found it attractive. However here’s what worries me. 1. I worry I’ll be attracted BECAUSE she’s younger. And when the thought of “oh you must like her cause she’s young” comes in I cringe and get anxiety. And the other thing is I’m worried even at age 18, 19, 20 I might still find 14 year olds attractive and that’s what worries me. Should I be worrying about this? And does it sound like I’ll be a bad person in the future or am I overreacting due to POCD? | OCD |
So, in the fury of packing up for break I forgot my Zoloft in my college dorm and I won't be back for a week. I called my doctor's office and they said that I've had a refill too recently and therefore needs to be discussed with my doctor which won't be at least till Monday if that. Any words of wisdom? | ADHD |
Hello!
**I am not looking for medical advice or a diagnosis. Just advice on dealing with a doctor who will not listen and keeps upping my meds. Info below**
I have recently been feeling really out of place with my diagnosis of "anxiety" and "depression". It feels like there is more to it for me. When doctors ask me the bullet point questions they don't seem to click or they are partially true.
For example, do you have little interest in doing things you normally do? Well, yes. But only because I have decided I need to learn about 30 new skills that I will never finish.
My short comings reallt get me down too. Why can't I finish anything? Finishing a project is almost torture. That's hard when you are an artist. Why can't I stay organized? Why do I make stupid impulse buys? Overeat?
My counselor suggested I might have ADHD and it might be a matter of changing my treatment plan a little. Sounded great. After dealing with unending anxiety and depression for over a decade with no relief, there was FINALLY a glimmer of hope. Nothing has ever really helped my anxiety and depression because I really don't feel as though I fall into those "symptoms"
Sadly, I moved. My husband is in the military and we move...a lot. Doctors on the base are not the best. I don't want to poo on anyone, but they seem to dislike spouses to some small extent. That's a whole 'nother issue though. Anyways, my old doctor refused to speak with Mt counselor saying she couldn't make diagnosises and she was wrong (without even hearing me out) and my new doctor is much the same. He wants to up my meds for both anxiety and depression. But when my meds are upped that high, I feel like a zombie.
Should I just submit to a life of anxiety and depression because there isn't another answer.
Any advice for getting help? I limited to doctors and providers who will take military spouse benefits. | ADHD |
I have decided that I want to change. The weird thing about depression is that even though I want to change so badly, it’s scary. Even though I feel so alone, it’s oddly comforting. I’ve felt like this for so long that I forgot what it was like to feel like a normal person.
It’s time to make a change. All that I know about the world is wrong. People CAN be trusted. Life CAN be fun. It doesn’t have to be the same day over and over again on repeat. I deserve to feel joy. I am not responsible for every terrible thing that happens to me. I’ve held onto those negative beliefs for as long as I can remember because it’s all I had.
It’s not going to be easy but I advise anyone else to take this journey too. I have faith in myself and everyone else that we can change. | depression |
I’m a 32 year old female. I’ve been single for a couple years. My last relationship caused me a lot of trauma. I’ve also got past childhood trauma. A year ago I met a really amazing guy who treated me like a princess but I had so much crippling anxiety about him lying to me that I ended up in a psych ward. After that I spent a year in therapy and reading up on trauma and trying to understand it. I continued having the panic attacks and anxiety when it came to being in a relationship. I see all my friends getting married and I’m stuck in this place where I can’t figure out how to move forward. Everytime I’m in a relationship I become so anxious I end up in a major depressive episode. I’m so tired of being alone. I’m scared I’ll always be this way. I’m running out of time to find love | depression |
Have anyone gone through it? If so, what was it like and how effective was it? 🌺 | ptsd |
Hi. Gonna try to keep this short since I know we don’t like reading long blocks of text :’)
Anyways, I (19 F) started taking 15mg of adderall a month and some change ago, and it’s been working really well as long as I direct my focus to what I actually need to be doing. I don’t take it everyday bc there’s some days I have less to do than others so I don’t find it necessary to be hyper focused like that 24/7.
My issue is keeping that structure on the days I don’t take it. My days are so crazy where I can’t have a solid schedule. I want to be able to work with inconveniences and last minute changes, but it seems so drastic that one thing taking longer than it should (like an assignment) takes me so out of wack and it takes me days to collect myself (which I kinda don’t have time to be doing anymore). Sometimes I even think that the schedule I set for myself is too much to keep up with especially on days I’m more depressed and unmotivated but I don’t know what I should cut down on to make it doable.
Does keeping a schedule or some semblance of structure get easier to follow along with the longer you do it? I get those days where I’m willing to do more but I’m the back of my mind I’m just counting off the days until I fall apart and lose what I tried to build up.
I need that structure, but I need it to make sense for me so that I can function but god am i struggling. Honestly I may be doing better than I probably will ever give myself credit for, but that still doesn’t take away from the fact that I still get my days where I feel I’m drowning in my obligations.
If anyone can make sense of what I’m saying and has been in a similar situation, please do tell how you manage. I just wanna do well :( I’m getting so frustrated at myself lately that I want to cry | ADHD |
Like your OCD always keeps you on high alert for something to happen and things feel amplified | OCD |
I was daydreaming in an exam and had this thought, I won't go into detail but for a split second I think I thought it was cute, and then realised how wrong it was. Now I'm really anxious that this does say something abt me and I'm just denying it. I don't want this to be true. Whenever I think about it my stomach goes all fuzzy and I feel sick. Do I figure it out? I'm not even bothered about beating my OCD yet, as long as I'm not a gross person. | OCD |
im 16m and have been dealing with POCD for the past few days. im not diagnosed with OCD, but looking into im very sure i have it and have dealt with it in the past. i feel like i cant tell anyone because if i do theyll think im a pedophile. i really need help but im not sure what to do. | OCD |
I'm on psychotropic medication, though it does nothing to help my depression, only alleviates some of my anxiety.
I'm having 1:1 therapy but keep feeling increasingly depressed. I relapsed with SH last night after 2 years clean.
My psychiatrist has said they aren't willing to add in a second psychotropic medication, as I take medication for physical health problems and they feel that the harm (of taking a second med) would outweigh the benefit.
Depression is certainly influenced by trauma, but it's also its own problem. I have no energy, no motivation, I derive no enjoyment or pleasure from anything. I certainly have the anhedonia aspect of depression. My appetite is nonexistent.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. The fact that I willingly reached out to my psychiatrist for support shows I'm in a really dark place, but now they said no to trying other meds, I'm lost. I feel I'm out of options. Might as well quit therapy and let someone else have a chance to get better. | depression |
I was doing better for a bit but now I think I've developed somatic OCD. I keep feeling panicky like my throat is going to close even though I logically know it won't and that's never happened before. I'm also having this weird trouble eating food with a certain texture like I'm going to choke or it's going to give me a bad reaction. Has anyone else here experienced this/have any advice? It's driving me insane, I have so much work to get done and this is all I can think about. | OCD |
For the past few years whenever I have been feeling stressed or anxious I (unintentionally) resort to forced breathing meaning i don’t allow it to happen naturally and breath manually instead. I don’t actually feel particularly anxious but know that internally I must be because of this and I’ve read that this could be linked to my OCD. It is honestly really affecting me as I constantly feel like I’m not getting any oxygen unless I force the breath, which hurts and makes me feel worse. I’m also constantly gasping for breath which looks odd especially during a pandemic that affects your breathing.
Does anyone have any tips? | OCD |
I was on meds, but then I had to move. I got depressed and didn’t feel like finding a new doctor. I had a 90 day supply but it ran out. I wasn’t “cured” when I was on them but I’m so anxious. I’ve fallen back to where I was before | OCD |
I started 10 mg 3 months ago. Ever since then we’ve been moving up every month. It’s still not working effectively lol.
I’m really impatient, and it’s my first semester of college — I need an effective dose. I’m struggling tremendously. I just wish we could move up faster lol. We don’t even really have a set schedule — I just kinda go in there and say it’s not working, she increases it, apptment over. I’m worried she doesn’t exactly trust me lol and has told me many times not to “chase the high”.
And I am just… what? When did I say I was lol? She makes me anxious as hell and every time I go in my BPM is 100+. I can’t tell if I’m just overthinking or might need to look into a new Dr. | ADHD |
Hey!
I've been taking 100mg of sertraline for 2 or 3 weeks, having taken 50mg for 8 weeks. My main obsession is about sleep at the moment so I was hoping the SSRI would help my insomnia. I've had a week on 100mg where I did sleep much better and felt way less anxious but it seems to have worn off now. I wondered if anyone kept feeling as if their lower doses were wearing off, and if moving up to 150mg/200mg did the trick? I just want to have faith it'll get better! | OCD |
The effect always hits me almost immediately, that's what my psychiatrist and I have noticed. I kept my seroquel with me after I came off it 3 months ago. I tried it oncd again since my anxiety is at a high because of being triggered by a girl and work situation. 2 days in im already thinking of just stopping the seroquel and upping my antidepressant for the anxiety because I'm losing my usual uppity attitude. The seroquel helps a little because I'm beginning to be focused on my work instead of anxiety driving my decisions, I just don't know if its worth trying the higher dose of the antidepressant or sticking with the seroquel and just being pretty much flat. | ptsd |
I just wanted to share a technique that works for me in regards to managing my OCD. Totally not a one-size-fits-all solution or anything, but it's worked for me!
I've been keeping detailed checklists recently, and I use them to remind myself when I've already done something I might convince myself I haven't later on. Right as I do the thing, I check the box -- that way, I won't check it and then get distracted and forget to do the thing. If I'm lying in bed and thinking, "oh shit, did I lock the front door?" I can check my checklist and see that the "check locks" item is checked, meaning I locked the door already. If it's unchecked, I get up and lock the door, and then check the item. I have a morning checklist and a nighttime checklist on my phone, and my morning checklist has an item about unchecking my checklist from the night before and vice versa, so I don't have to remake the checklist every time.
I've become so enamored with checklists I started keeping a binder for them, and I think it comes off as a little ridiculous but I love it so much. I use it as a planner and journal as well, and I've made a ton of "thought organizers" that I use to talk myself through things I'm anxious about. The biggest benefit of writing it down is that I don't go down the same thought spiral twice -- I can just look back and see where and how the spiral ended. It's wonderful to have such a good record of my anxiety and I have fun making these!
It's really worked wonders for me to keep records of everything, and I hope if you're struggling in a similar way that this can help you too! I'm also happy to share some of the paperwork from my binder here if anyone's interested -- I'm one of two people in my friend group with OCD and everyone I've showed it to thinks I'm deeply unhinged, but I really do like showing it off : ) | OCD |
Hi everyone,
First time post here! I’ve recently started medication for ADHD and my first dose is 30mg of Elvanse. I take in in the morning with breakfast but it’s been making me so tired and foggy. To the point I can’t get out of bed. It’s like my brain can’t tell my body what to do it’s awful.
I’ve read that protein intake helps, so last couple of days I’ve upped my protein with shakes and protein snacks but it hasn’t helped.
Does this wear off eventually? Any tips on feeling less tired with the medication?? I don’t even feel like I can’t take it tomorrow it’s effecting me so bad. | ADHD |
I can remember as far back as kindergarten being literally the only kid having to work on the assignments from the day before at the back of the class every. fucking. day.
We had construction paper banana splits. Each part represented an amount of assignments. At the end of the year, we’d have a banana split party. Based on how much work we completed, we’d build our banana splits. I had one scoop of ice cream and half a banana. The teacher asked the other kids if they’d like to donate any parts of theirs they didn’t want to me.
I don’t remember exactly how bad, but I do remember feeling bad about myself. That used to be a story I’d laugh about, but after seeing faces after how many times I’ve told it and after how many times I’ve had to dig myself out of huge holes in life (that have only gotten deeper), it’s feels kinda pathetic lol.
Anyway, I’m looking forward to testing & moving forward from there. As long as I can get a solid starting point with the right support and guidance, I’m willing to put in the effort to make a better life for myself. I want more out of life. At least 90% of the last six years I’ve worked two jobs. I just don’t feel like I have anything to show for it. | ADHD |
hello everyone
i've always considered myself well reserved and i keep my rudeness to myself,
but ever since i started my medication i became aggressive af
careless and rude, i sort of became Ricky Gervais from after life
i don't hate it, i'm comfortable with it, but i know for a fact if i stayed like this people are going to dislike me..
what do i do? | ADHD |
Its my 6th year of Pure O and My pure o is completely in control but sometimes I feel very lonely because there is no one with whom I can talk for long about my OCD and share my pain.
So, I am looking for such person.
I am 20 years old from India.
If any girl feels the same, pls dm me. | OCD |
I’m doing everything in my power to stop thinking about my thoughts, vision, and hearing to the point that it’s driving me insane. I can’t just “not think”, I’m constantly ruminating about my ruminating which is driving me nuts. It feels like I’ve dug myself in a hole so deep with regards to my OCD that I can’t get out. How do I just “be”? I want to be mindful and live in the present but it’s like my mind won’t allow me the satisfaction of an anxiety-free life. I’m open to tips on what to do it’s really tough | OCD |
So my last relationship ended due to reasons unrelated to OCD, but I did get extreme feelings of guilt, and at some points it felt like I wasn’t attracted to the person I was dating. It’s been almost 6 months now and I wanna start dating again but I’m worried I’m not gonna be fully attracted to anyone because of it. Does anyone else experience this? | OCD |
I have been struggling with weight all my life. But I also have been doing Sport all my life. When I started playing football I gained muscles and lost fat but of course gained weight Overall. But I never in my whole life lost weight. Even when I was working out 6 times a week, had football practice 3 times a week and went boxing 3 times a week. I ate pretty normal. I mean I just ate what everyone else ate in the cantina.
For years I just have been constantly gained weight slowly. Went from about 190lbs when I was 19 to about 280 when I was 30. I tried many diets and nothing seemed to work.
Though I did Lose about 25lbs in the last couple of months when I actually cut out snacking which was a habit I newly formed when I was in lockdown. But since those 25lbs I havent been losing weight for like 3 months.
Now I started getting meds and I lost about 6lbs. I was wondering if this is normal?
Could also be that I am kinda in a depression rn and have some days without eating. But since I am talking meds I actually eat quite normal. Because I have to since the doc told me I cant take them without Food 😅 | ADHD |
I started on meds again for the first time in 10 years two months ago. I started with 10mg of the generic adderall xr from Lannett. First month was great, ruminating thoughts were kept to a minimum, I was not overwhelmed by mounting responsibilities, I was able to effectively prioritize parts of tasks. It felt very clean and I could feel it when it "kicked in".
Onto the second month, I went up to 20mg daily as I could feel a slight loss of effectiveness and going up to 20 had been the plan. I had taken 2 of the 10mg Lannetts together a few times and they had good effect.
These 20mg pills have not had the same "umph". It's harder to get started on things, thoughts are still racing, I'm having issues with teeth grinding and possibly heart rate issues.
I've had issues with certain generics in the past, and after finally realizing today it is definitely the pills, I looked into Lannett adderall and saw many having issues with it. So my plan is to try a different generic next month.
I'm wondering if anyone has had an issue like this with generics that was dose dependant?
And if you've had similar issues with Lannett, what generic ended up being better for you? | ADHD |
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