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i’ve been on medication for my ocd for about a week now and it’s been helping a little with my anxiety, sleep, mood, and appetite but i noticed I’ve been taking a little longer with my compulsions sometimes. have anyone else experienced this, is this normal? i haven’t done ERP yet, so maybe when i do this it will become better?
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OCD
|
I'm usually a happy person, but I can't handle people saying things like that I'm lazy, or selfish, or even implying it slightly. I just completely go into panic mode, and instantly become convinced that I'm a horrible selfish person, that I'm screwed, and that there is nothing I can do to undo how awful I am, and that I should just k\*ll myself. And then about how selfish and cowardly and weak I am for thinking of killing myself, or how bad I am for having attempted it a few months ago. I'm scared of how hypothetical people will think of me. For example, my history teacher today said how angry he was at how a bunch of people had not submitted their history project, and how we needed to get our shit together, or get out of the class. And my response was to think of how much he must have lost respect for me, because I haven't been handing in assignments in time. And the I thought of how I don't even have a good reason for not handing in the project, it's not that I'm depressed, or troubled or anything. I'm just lazy, and everyone would dismiss me as a lazy piece of shit, and I should just die, because then people wouldn't be angry with me anymore. I just can't take the idea of anyone not liking me. The only person who I handle hearing bad things from is my dad, because he's been swearing at me and insulting me whenever he got angry for years now, so I'm used to it.
I don't know why I wrote this, I just feel shitty about things, and I'm scared people won't like me for not studying like a sensible person would. I also realise that I wrote this as a plea for sympathy, which is pretty pathetic, but I didn't know what else to do. Thanks for reading.
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aspergers
|
TW: covid
So I have PureO and basically have always thought to myself that one day the end of the world will happen and it’s my biggest fear. Like natural disasters, mass bombings, pandemics etc
Looking back at the Covid pandemic, it’s been about a year since the US was bracing for what insanity was to come. Now where I live covid has calmed down a lot and everything for the most part is back to normal. I also got vaccinated and feel so grateful I was able to get it. I keep on getting flashbacks with random things, even looking at toilet paper, and picture when all stores were completely out of necessities like TP and fresh chicken/meat. Nothing was worse than the fear of not knowing the future, which was terrifying. Basically now When I get these flashbacks they are really uncomfortable because it was such a rough time back then and my mental health was spiraling. I just hate that we don’t know what is going to happen next, if this pandemic will keep on repeating itself in history every year. I don’t need reassurance I just don’t know how to get out of this thought cycle because it’s disturbing.
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OCD
|
Anyone else do this? I have no patience for failure in any form, which most likely comes from a combination of a bad home life and years of dealing with horrible squad leaders on power trips.
I've been out for a decade now, but my patience is still razor-thin. I look at it as a betrayal of my trust, especially considering how often I seem to fall for the idea that "this time it will be different." I see enemies in anyone who is slightly inconsiderate, entire companies for product defects.
I've changed therapists simply for trying to help, because the pills didn't make everything better.
I can't give second chances, and I have to pretend to be okay in public because I don't want to get locked up somewhere.
This truly sucks. I'd really like to know when this feeling goes away but I know it doesn't work like that.
Thanks for letting me vent.
TL;DR I have anxiety about relying on people that amounts to a fear of trusting anything and anyone. Got any advice?
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ptsd
|
So there’s this friend I have. She’s gives me weird vibes sometimes. We use to be really close and we fell off…Hard. She wouldn’t speak to me or even come over anymore for a Year it was like that and I didn’t think about her much until school started back in August. She started hanging out with me and skipping school with me. We caught up and we talked and Jammed out together. Then she brings up she has a Girlfriend and it didn’t really bother me because I didn’t have feelings for her anymore right? Well one day she decided to skip school and stay with me all day. We slept together but we didn’t fool around. I kept my small distant from her having a gf and all. Ever since that day being in the same bed with her and just listening to her talk and whatnot I’ve been hooked. I love her scent and what she wears. I want to spend my money on her. I want to have a future with her. She’s so beautiful to me. The things I want to do with her and to her I only Wanna satisfy her. I’ve still got her Hair bands from when we were super close. I can’t throw anything Shes left here away. I want to have a future and a family with Her. I can’t bring myself to love anyone else. I hate her sometimes but and the end of that day she’s the only girl I think about.
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depression
|
Long story short, I have been diagnosed bipolar (which nothing wrong with having it) since 2019. During this time, I was being abused emotionally and psychologically by someone who is an alcoholic and sociopath/narcissist.
This really took a toll on my mental health and when the relationship was at its worse peak, I ended up being diagnosed bipolar and hospitalized for a couple days. I had no signs of bipolar before the relationship and I have no issues with any mood episodes now that I’m out of it. All of it was situational, not at all random, but the doctors won’t listen to me.
She convinced me that I was losing it, paranoid, and delusional and she was the one who pushed me to take medication. In the end, every worry I had came true and I found it all out at the end of the relationship. At the time of the diagnosis, I had no idea that I was being abused. I didn’t realize it until recently.
The issue I’m having is, I have shared with two doctors already the trauma I’ve been through and no one will listen to me, which is bringing back the feeling of being gaslit all over again. I told a psychiatrist actually this past week things that I went through and she either gave no response or she just said “okay”, but made me feel like I was over exaggerating what happened. I’m sorry, but I know that if these providers were put in similar situations - can they really say they would respond in the perfect way?
I’m not really sure how to deal with this but it really upsets me. Has anyone else had similar issues?
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ptsd
|
My anxiety has been through the roof. I lost both my parents a couple years apart from sudden events due to their own poor choices and witnessed their passing. I’m constantly worried about things that are potentially “dangerous”, which is a ridiculous amount of things. I call it my “final destination complex”. Soooo you can imagine how I’m handling this pandemic. However, using skills from my career in biology to reach out to my community by sharing resources and providing research feels like I’m keeping the virus away....even though that’s not exactly how things work. I have also noticed my dog tries to play with me every time I start to panic...which is weird cause he has no concept of play. So of course I humor him and then start to feel better.
That being said, I was suddenly reminded that I’m not only person with PTSD and/or developmental trauma.
How is everyone holding up? If you can, maybe share something that is helping you during this time.
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ptsd
|
Hey everyone, I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD and have been put on Wellbutrin (150mg extended release).
I'm on day 10, and I've been getting regular and quite severe anxiety in the afternoons which seems to just be getting worse. Today I felt like I was on the brink of a panic attack.
Has anyone else had this effect and does it get better? It's affecting my work and social life quite a lot.
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ADHD
|
Hi all,
I'm wondering if anyone has any recommendations for a hand moisturizer (ideally available in Canada) that leaves no greasy feeling or scent quickly after applying. I can't tolerate any substance being on my hands, and every moisturizer I've ever used I've washed off shortly after because I could feel it was still there.There has to be zero sensation within 5 minutes of applying the lotion.The problem is compounding a little bit because I think the dryness is causing my hands to get extra pruny in the shower, which makes me unable to use them and instead just want to cut them off after. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
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OCD
|
Whenever I cook, clean, draw, work on a project or even play games, I think about traumatic events, most specifically my most recent one, every single second throughout.
Even now as I write this and I lose focus my mind wanders about towards those events and I get angry and hurt.
This has been going on for years now and it makes it very difficult to work and go throughout the day to the point of contemplating suicide to escape them.
Do I need medication? Get treatment for my ADHD? Or just suffer through it?
My only escape right now from it is browsing youtube and reddit 24/7 which is obviously not something I want to do for the rest of my life.
What's the solution for this?
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depression
|
Does anyone have any tips on how to relieve their hyper-vigilance? I’m scared people are gonna eventually think I’m just faking it or I’m just being overly dramatic. I legit had to install a flashing light doorbell that I silence in to my home office because it gets so bad.
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ptsd
|
At my last two jobs we rarely used the webcam function on Zoom or whatever. At my current company everyone always has their cameras on which I’ve always found weird. I always have my camera off, because I’ve found that I get super distracted when I have it on. I’m also rarely looking up when people are listening, so I don’t want people to be aware that I’m multitasking because due to my ADHD I find it hard to concentrate when I’m hands aren’t active.
IDK why I hate webcams so much?
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aspergers
|
TW: SH, Suicidal, ya get it
I don’t have motivation for anything anymore. My family found out I had depression a couple months ago bc we had a “family meeting” and they forced it outta me. (I’ve been struggling with it for a couple years and it’s just gradually grown) So since then I’ve had to go to the doctors and try meds. Honestly the meds are just making things worse. The more I’m getting the more I wanna die. The doctor made me show my sh scars on the first appointment, and he said it was nothing to worry about, and how he had a paient with a bad situation who lied to him that they were clean. Since then he hasn’t cared to even ask if I’m clean. Idk what happened but since then I’ve cut deeper it’s like my mind is trying to prove something.
Where I live, depression is very common. So honestly I just feel like any other person and that my situation doesn’t matter, or that I’m faking it. But I think I genuinely need help? Now I’m sitting here with a blade, why are the deep cuts rewarding?? Honestly at first before things got bad I just sh not knowing the consequences. It wasn’t until recently I thought, yeah I could stop sh. But then a thought shot in my mind and said “yeah well then stop rn” and that’s when I realized I have a problem. I can’t, it’s my new medicine that gives me feelings, pain, and makes the thoughts go away.
I feel so numb constantly, I can’t get out of bed in the mornings, I’m afraid my lack of emotions are harming others, I want to feel something but I feel nothing other then cutting. I’m about to graduate highschool and before I was confident about going to collage. But now that I can’t get up for highschool, how I’m I supposed to even get through collage? If I can barely find love for myself and others around me, how am I supposed to find a spouse and have kids (which I’ve always wanted until now) if I will constantly feel numb? I don’t want to pass down my bad mental genes to kids in the future. I see no hope for my future and I just want to end it now rather than later.
I just recently have started dating a guy, and I haven’t told him what I’ve been through yet. But I know there’s a connection, but my meds and depression keeps me from feeling emotions and feeling a strong connection with him. He has started expressing his feelings towards me and I know this will probably go somewhere. I know this mental disorder is keeping me from truly feeling happy with him. And I just feel so guilty and unworthy for his kindness towards me. I want to kms so I don’t disappoint him.
My home life is honestly very good, I have a very good relationship with my parents and siblings, but I feel unworthy of this lifestyle. I feel like I shouldn’t be so mentally unstable for having a good life. But the more I think about it the more depressive I get about it. I feel like I’m a burden for their picture perfect life, and I should just remove myself from it before I ruin it for them.
I stopped taking my meds a day or two ago. I’m not sure if it is helping or not yet but I can’t stand them. I started with a 1/2 a pill now I’m all the way up to 2 and a half. Instead or trying a new medication my doctor is just recommending to take more. I cant handle this lifestyle much longer, I’m planning on it being over before I graduate.
Ngl I want to go to grippy socks jail, (is that bad?) it’s either that or oding so we’ll see which comes first. I want some hope to continue on, but I have none.
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depression
|
Has anyone felt like a thought has ruined them and that you will never feel the same as you did before having the thought?
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OCD
|
Has anybody ever tried shilajit for there ocd? I’m having a lot of problems with antidepressants and I really need help cause the only thing looking positive is tms therapy but I don’t have $2,000 to just throw out of my pocket for just a chance for it to help
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OCD
|
my two closest (and possibly the only two) friends that i have had been dating and got into a relationship in the past few months. i only found out about it yesterday when they told me at a dinner gathering. they told me that nothing would change and they're still my friends, but i know that deep down everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same.
i spent almost the entire night crying bc i realised that i had no one left in my life, my parents tried to console me by telling me to "think positive" and "at least its not this other situation", which honestly didnt help at all and i feel like i no longer have anyone to talk to.
all my suicidal thoughts came back as i recalled a similar incident when i lost all my friends in the past and i was left alone and had no one to turn to.
im so sick and tired of all this and im so tired of having to go out and make new friends bc i know that the friends i have now will never be the same people i once knew and i know its always possible that the friendship might just end one day and i'll need to meet new people and make new friends again.
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depression
|
Hey you guys.
I have been diagnosed with ocd but I have a friend who diagnosed himself with ocd and made me doubt about my diagnoses.
Here is the thing:
1. I am taking meds but unfortunately I am still feeling anxious my whole day. So, for example, when I am trying to watch something and I see a "dangerous" image, it kind of trigger my fear, not my ocd. So, what happens is I start fearing the intrusive thoughts but obviously the thought come because I am already fearing having them. The fear is automatic, and result in thebad thought itself. I can't stop the fear.
2. My friend's intrusive thoughts are automatic. It just appear suddenly and he feels bad after it. But isn't premeditated.
So, do I really have ocd? Or I am just scared of thinking bad things?
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OCD
|
People that I get on well with and become good friends with I sometimes get such tunnel vision and there all I want to spend time with and see and hang out with and I am so happy when I’m with them, that I kinda forget anything else exists and nothing else brings me as much happiness.
This is super exhausting and frustrating as I wish I just liked and enjoyed people’s company a normal amount but I can’t seem to do this. Does anyone else get this?
Like everything else in my life is super dull and boring and all my enjoyment and fun comes from them.
Am legit in one of the middle of these right now and it’s fucking painful as hell and it makes friendships so hard to not ruin I just wanna like people a normal amount. Does medication help with this?
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ADHD
|
Got diagnosed with ADD and anxiety and started taking meds yesterday. With ADD stimulant I don’t see any side effect but with Sertraline (anti depressant) I have severe nausea and racing heart. It’s so bad that I couldn’t sleep well.
Any advice on how to manage the side effects and eat normally (despite feeling nauseous)?
My doc asked me to reduce the dosage today but still dreading the side effects.
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ADHD
|
I must start by saying that I am NOT “clinically” diagnosed with OCD. Although, I keep stalling on talking to a professional about it due to me being sane over my emotions. I feel like the things I feel are fake. I feel as if what I’m feeling is irrational to others going through their battles on a day to day basis.
TW:
I have this “fantasy” of being anorexic.
The way my mind plays out about it is complexed. I use to eat 4 meals a day. Then I started to picture this image of me being skinny. This skinny image turned into 3 meals and 3 meals turned into 2…
Now, I only eat here and there. But it’s like every time I eat I get grossed out. Not because I’m not hungry (I got use to not eating.) but I get grossed out thinking of what I look like now. I eat and I feel ashamed and discouraged.
I have only lost a few pounds in a small timeframe. This obsession isn’t the only thing. I have to clean the bathroom and shower so much! I wash my hands so many times out of the day because they feel DIRTY! I can’t sit on the toilet without deep cleaning it . Showering isn’t always fun for me either. I have picked my hair out, strained by strained when I get anxious or stressed but I’ve always done that since I was 14…. My question is has anyone experienced something like this? Or even similar? How do you cope?
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OCD
|
Every time I even get a little uncomfortable about what is happening/did. I usually do some self destructing, like picking my skin. I pick, pick, pick, until there’s nothing left to pick. Then I feel ashamed and gross for weeks. Memory gets foggy and then I burn myself out for a few days. I feel shame I guess?
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ptsd
|
Hey fellow sufferers,
There’s a lot of negative stories and questions on here....does anyone have any positive experiences to give hope to anyone who may be suffering?
|
OCD
|
im a week away from finishing my first semester of college and i haven’t felt worse in my life.
while i was in college, my mom sold my childhood home and moved to hawaii. which should be exciting, it’s hawaii. but i realized that i’m in no way connected to my hometown anymore. my parents don’t live there, my brother moved out a while ago, ive basically committed to living in my college town for the next couple of years, there is no home for me to go back to.
I always said that i wanted to leave, and now that i have i don’t know what to do with myself. I feel so stupid for wasting the time i had left there. at the same time i feel so stupid for missing somewhere so unremarkable. there’s nothing left for me in my hometown but i still cry about it. i dont have the time or money to go back and visit, and even if i did i doubt i’d enjoy it. i just don’t think i like the fact that i am fully disconnected from an entire chapter of my life.
winter break is coming up, which at my school lasts a little over a month. everyday i get closer to it i feel worse. more anxious, every little thing is overwhelming me. i don’t know how to talk to anyone about this, because, realistically, spending a month in hawaii should be better than going home. and yet im still unhappy.
for the record i do have depression, diagnosis and ssri’s included. i feel like this is like exasperating everything just a little bit more. i also don’t have anyone else to talk to
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depression
|
I'm F20. And sadness hit me. Idk what to do. I wanted to cry. I wanted my heart be back on its normal weight, it's heavy right now. I wanted to breathe. I'm in pain, emotionally. Iam fully aware that some of these mixed feelings and thoughts are just product of being too harsh to myself. But can't help. I wanted to graduate on this cycle, and be back to my pace.
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depression
|
I’m tired and I actually want to go to bed which is better than the usual putting off sleep because I want to keep doing whatever I’m doing…but before I can go to bed I have to clean the litter boxes and I realllly don’t want to deal with it right now so instead I’m stuck here doing neither even though I know if I just get up and do it I can go to bed sooner. And then I remember that I already am up a little too late and I’m running out of sleep hours because I have to be up at 5:30 for work, and my anxiety increases along with my inability to move 😅. Idk why but when faced with the panic of not getting enough sleep and being miserable and tired the next day my brain comes up with these fantastic ideas like “well why don’t you just stay up all night then so you don’t have to deal with all the grogginess and exhaustion from waking after too few hours of sleep” because that makes logical sense 🤦🏻♀️
Anyone else get stuck in this kind of crappy cycle?
Oh look, it’s actually after 12am now, how fun 😂 Here’s hoping that posting this on the interwebs amongst a community of strangers will be the push I need to finally snap out of it and finish up for the night. A few hours are better than no hours, right?
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ADHD
|
Suffering from Harm OCD/POCD/SO-OCD
Hi ,I don’t know if someone will see this , but I need help so I’ll send this text to you whatsoever , I’ve been suffering from OCD for 4 months now and the topics have been changing a lot from time to time , in the first 2 months I kept thinking of naked images of my mom , I couldn’t hear a song that involved sexual love that I would remember about her and that made me look girls everyday on the internet so I could picture an attractive one to replace that image , these thoughts went through highs and lows during the end of July to September , I don’t know what triggered them but they just started and they wouldn’t leave , suddenly something happened and they were gone
But then I was watching a show about Michael Jordan and I thought what would be like living in USA at that time and going to school and I remembered about the attacks from Columbine and that got stuck in my head and I couldn’t forget it anymore , I couldn’t go to school and I was feeling horrible , themes like pedophile also were common but they were gone by 10/21
But then I woke up on 10/23 from a dream which there was an murderer that murdered childs and others that asked to have sex with me so he would stop committing the acts , I didn’t accept in the dream but then I woke up and as I was worried and later in that day my uncle told me a story ( that the details are not known to be true ) of a dude that found out that he was gay later in life and tried to kill himself , that was the trigger for the start of homossexual intrusive thoughts and they are really bad , distressing , and give me so much anxiety that I avoided to go school so I could avoid to be possibly attracted to even my friends and just by saying this I feel embarrassed , I don’t have a life anymore , can’t go a day without crying , can’t see my friends , I ruminate everyday , and no matter how much reassurance I search about HOCD and that my case is really that one I can’t stop the compulsions and that has made me miserable , at rock bottom
I’ve always being into girls , my whole period of puberty was centered into girls , all my crushes since I was born was on girls , my first love was a girl , and I just miss having this feeling of butterflies in my stomach about a girl and just obsess about her ( in a pleasant way ) and just enjoy being in love with a girl from my school and all that stuff , I want my life back , you probably won’t read this but I need help and I can’t pay for your course cause it’s too much expensive , what do you think I should do ?
I don’t know if you will see this but I’m desperate , I just want to have my happy straight life again , I just want to be able to be myself and live my life , I want to be able to fell in love with a girl again , to be able to see my mother , to be able to see my cousin and don’t think in pedophilia , is it too much to ask ? Do I really have OCD ?
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OCD
|
Sometimes I think life is giving me hints that I should kill myself. Like nothing ever is working out and I am exhausted by the effort it takes to do everything. I get blasted at my job I once used to love so much, my relationships with my friends are in tatters because I keep failing to do the bare minimum and they know I am not doing well and I have frequent relapses but even they are getting tired of my shit. My ex bf whom I dated for 8 years told me last week he is getting married. Every guy I try to date/ date is either an asshole, has a gf and is on the verge of cheating or is just fucked up. I am tired of being abandoned by my family, friends, people I date.
I feel like I am constantly trying to grasp things thin air and watching my life spiral. I am a spectator standing on the sidelines watching my life pass by.
All this has been going on for 27 years and I am exhausted by this effort. I am a fighter and I told myself I would never give up. I did everything I had to, exercised, read a book, followed healthy routines even when I just wanted to sleep. But at this point, I don't know. Maybe it makes sense to give it up. Maybe it's the universe giving me hints that I need to give up
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depression
|
I know this question may sound dumb because of ADHD symptons but what if your hyperfocused on something you like and try to do it as perfect as possible for example drawing and trying to draw everything perfectly or playing the guitar and trying to play a song like the original.
Im not 100% sure if I have ADHD but I usually draw geometric drawings and I try to draw it as symetric and exactly as possible I wonder if some of you have habits similar to this.
|
ADHD
|
I'm a woman in my 20s but I get intrusive thoughts about the possibility that I'm transgender.
These intrusive thoughts are extremely common and it feels like everything I do ties back to them. I prefer playing male characters in video games? It means I want to be a boy. Rando online says the word gender in any context? I start foaming at the mouth. The employee called me sir because of my masculine appearance and I didn't mind? Well I must be a lad, women generally don't like being perceived as male. A trans person recounts an innocuous experience and I relate? Oh fuck, that settles it.
I'm at the point where I have a knee-jerk negative reaction to being called "she" simply because it reminds me that pronouns and gender exist and I struggle with it. I've gone in deep trying to understand what gender is and what mine is supposed to be and there's so much emphasis on "presentation" that it feels like my lack of femininity is a sign that I'm trans. Whenever I get dressed in the morning I absentmindedly think "Look at you, wearing men's clothes, you fucking egg" and it's driving me insane. I don't want to live like this anymore.
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OCD
|
I tend to clench my jaw a lot even after my medication has warn off. Like the next morning. It hurts by the end of the day/ after a few days. Any tips?
I take 30mg of vyvanse. 6' 185lbs.. just moved up to 40mg befquse the effects of 30mg barely last (other than jaw clenching/grinding) now, but I haven't filled that script yet.
|
ADHD
|
\[TW: mention of suicide\]
​
Hi everyone,
I've had GAD for quite a few years now, and have had CBT and other therapy. The prospect of me having OCD didn't come up (I didn't feel comfortable telling the therapist the extent of the thoughts I get), but as time has gone on and I've started reading more, it seems like I do have certain traits/symptoms (not sure how you'd describe it). The reason why I'm a bit confused is that it doesn't seem to stick to one theme, but because I find the thoughts bizarre I've found it difficult to do anything about it other than seeking reassurance, which I understand is detrimental in the long term. It's also not completely constant, so I wonder whether it's just GAD. To illustrate a few examples (and I've gone back to childhood to a lot of behaviours which kind of make sense now):
​
As a young child:
\- would pray to God to not kill my family
\- God could read my thoughts so any bad thing I thought would mean God hated me and I would have to say sorry/do something to make it up to Him, like hitting a wall until I felt better;
\- Thoughts like "I hate my Dad" would pop into my head and that somehow translated to, 'I want him to die', so I would have to repeat "I don't hate my Dad I love him" in my head until it was 'better';
\- This started in childhood but has, to an extent, carried on: If I texted my parents and they didn't respond I would worry that they had died, and I would try not to play the mental game of 'if they don't respond by 7pm, they've died'.
​
As a teenager:
\- I would become obsessed with cancer/HIV, once even thinking I had caught HIV from reading about it;
\- I would think my friends hated me and ask over and over again if they did or if I had done anything wrong.
​
More recently:
\- I've been feeling intense guilt about behaviours in the past, really considering that I may be an awful and irredeemable person, and even if I killed myself I couldn't make it better (I'm not suicidal at all, but the thought reoccurred nevertheless); I;ve searched my old messages from when I was 14 for evidence of wrongdoing, and have asked my friends if I've ever been racist/sexist/homophobic. I keep trying to tell myself if I have ever said or done anything wrong, I've grown and I'm a better person now (maybe this is a compulsion, I don't know). When my friends reassure me and tell me I'm not and never have been these things, I think maybe they don't know the real me and how impure my thoughts have been. Regardless, I repeat the cycle;
\- I would have to google map my journey before I drove it, because if I deviated I would get into a car crash and get a spinal cord injury; I have also spent countless hours reading about spinal cord injury, and that, if I were to be paralysed, I couldn't then kill myself (even though I don't want to kill myself);
\- After I watched Midsommar, I became convinced that my parents would die of carbon monoxide poisoning, so I stayed up all night to 'check' that I didn't feel ill so I could spot signs of it;
\- After having a few beers one evening, I stayed up all night and did the same calculation over and over again of my blood alcohol concentration, even though it said (and I knew, because I only had a few and stopped drinking at 9pm to ensure this) that I wouldn't be over the limit to drive the next morning;
\- Last night, I stubbed a cigarette out and threw it in the bin. I had thoughts of setting the bin on fire, so I searched my memory and asked friends repeatedly that I had stubbed it correctly and it wouldn't cause a fire;
\- I often get paranoid I've accidentally taken nude pictures and somehow shared them with my colleagues, even though I've never taken nude pictures so it would be impossible to accidentally send them to the wrong person; and that, when writing reports for work, that I've accidentally said something racist. I often check documents for 'evidence'.
​
I find it easier to type on here than I do to tell some of these thoughts to friends etc in real life, due to, I suppose, the content of them. I'm also scared of sharing some fears, because I think it will prove that I am actually what I fear (ie if I tell people I fear I've been racist or that I am deep down that this is proof of my racism, because why else would I bring it up? Equally, maybe I am a bad person and the persona of being a good person is to hide my malice?). I feel a bit stuck in a rut and am confused as to how to tackle this. Has anyone else not experienced a 'theme', but kind of similar patterns of different anxiety latches; and what helps for this?
|
OCD
|
Hi,
these past couple of months now i've been struggling with Intrusive thoughts happening while masturbating, even in the middle of,, yknow, the whole point of masturbating.
It sucks, and usually when it happens i stop masturbating entirely and then continue once it feels, right to start back up i guess? It sucks, and sometimes i continue to masturbate while these thoughts happen, then get worried that im masturbating to the thoughts, climaxing to the thoughts, etc , etc, whenever i feel any kind of response after i have the thought.
The reason why i'm here is because once while masturbating i was doing it and i started thinking about the intrusive thoughts while it was happening
Because of this, right before and while i was,, yknow,,, i started having those thoughts. It made me really upset and then i got worried i was masturbating to those thoughts, which was the reason why i am now here.
it worries me, and i don't like the fact that it happens during this. It's completely ruined the thing that would make me feel better after i would struggle with the sexual intrusive thoughts. After it all happens too i start to remember my friends and family and then i start to feel anxious and guilty that this has happened, i start to feel like i don't deserve my friends and family, and stuff like that.
Any help works! Thanks
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OCD
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ADHD is rampaging my life right now. I cannot focus on ANYTHING except procrastination. I spent probably 30 hours the last 5 days looking at tool boxes on Craigslist -- expensive toolboxes.
Granted -- one of my side jobs is as a fabricator/designer -- but I am supposed to be writing a dissertation -- and I should have been working on it for the last few years.
I ALWAYS find a way to procrastinate -- and I've always seemed to "pull it off" right at the last moment -- but I do NOT like living this way.
This is a recurring theme in my life -- it hasn't mattered what I was doing -- and I've lived what most would consider a very "well-balanced" and "full" life. I have lots of hobbies -- and when I get focused -- I am F-O-C-U-S-E-D -- if you know what I mean.
I started with Focalin for the past couple years -- and honestly -- it helped some -- but I am struggling SO much right now -- even after increasing my dosage.
I am lying to myself about my productivity -- my wife -- my advisors -- to everyone.
I am not accountable to anyone or anything -- and I hate it so much... but I feel "addicted" to my ADHD and I am falling apart.
I honestly am so scared to face the music -- but I have a child on the way and I am starting to freak out. I'm scared I'm going to lose everything I hold dear if I am not able to clean up my act and focus. This is no way to live and I know it -- but "knowing" it just makes it so much more ridiculous and awful right now.
I know I need a psych eval, etc. and a therapist - but right now -- I could just use some words of encouragement (or a swift kick in the ass) from some strangers that I've shared a real truth with that I cannot even fathom telling my closest loved ones.
Thanks for reading. I'm going to bed now -- I hope I can sleep instead of dreaming about Snap-on Triple Cabs.
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ADHD
|
Tomorrow, I'm going to have a doctor's appointment as I am now convinced I've got ADHD. I always thought it was purely an inability to focus on something, but having read posts both here and on r/adhdmemes , I realise it's so much more. And I relate to 99% of posts.
For years I've been worried there's something deeply wrong with me, and that I had some sort of invisible obstacle to actually completing tasks when I need to/want to do them for hours.
I am struggling with uni and day to day life, and I hope tomorrow will bring a glimmer of hope.
In my time of need, I'd like to ask for some words of advice, or encouragement or whatever anyone would like to contribute.
Thanks
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ADHD
|
Lately I haven’t been capable of paying attention in my classes. I try as much as possible but always end up doing something else and with the class basically as background sound. Is there anything they helps you focus? Specially when is about something you are not really interested in, how do you guys manage? Any tip is welcome.
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ADHD
|
Hello all, 20 something male here. Got adhd, anxiety and depression. I find it interesting how adhd interacts with depression. Needing that stimulation so that I’m not depressed, but sometimes getting anxious to do things, it’s a weird balance. Having too many choices or not enough, making me feel sad for some reason. Notice that being around friends helps a lot but can only do that for so long. On medication, focolin, pristiq, and bruspar. The focolin helps the most oddly but still don’t always feel the best. Also in therapy, think it helps but everything is so slow. Just wanted to see if anybody else feels like this and what helps them. I do mediation, yoga, and exercise, and I know about mindfulness.
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ADHD
|
So halfway through group session yesterday they added a new patient who manages to hit a number of my triggers. It's been like 18 hours and I am still extremely worked up. My intrusive memories are worse and i am shaking.
Today is my last session and I am terrified to go, but also pretty certain I am not better enough for the real world if I am so damn spun out over one random person who didnt do anything wrong but just happens to tick a lot of the boxes that makes my brain scream "danger."
I dunno. Disappointed and terrified.
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ptsd
|
Hey everyone, this is my first time posting here. I have contamination OCD and one of my problems is excessive hand-washing. So today, I touched some gross stuff and was washing my hands using Dawn dish soap. Every time I thought I was done washing my hands, I'd see more soap lather up as they dried. In the end, I couldn't find any more soap (I think) but my hands were really sticky so I ran them under water one more time and moisturized them. This is driving me up a wall anxiety-wise and I can't seem to focus on my work anymore.
Has anybody else experienced this? I have a weird fear that my hands are now just holding soap into my skin (if that makes sense) and I'll never be able to wash it off.
I hope you all have a lovely day! :)
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OCD
|
I’m 19M. Just the past couple years I’ve let most of my “friends” slip away from me. All I do with my free time is watch YouTube really. Money is always the one thing that made me happy, and I have a decent amount for my age. But I’m still just so emotionless.
Just the same thing everyday. Work, come home, do nothing and repeat. Life really isn’t all that fun I guess. Really makes me wonder how I’m gonna spend the next 40 years….
My dad just drinks all the time and I don’t really talk too my mom to much. I have a brother but he’s got tons of friends and spends his time with them. I just don’t know how people live life, get married and are genuinely happy.
Lately been having thoughts that maybe it would have been better if I was never born, someone else could have lived this life and been happy. But not me.
I always thought money would bring me happiness, but clearly it does not. If money can’t bring me happiness, how is anything else suppose too?
Kinda just a big rant. Haven’t really ever spoke about this before.
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depression
|
I’m not diagnosed yet, but signs are increasingly pointing to yes. Do any of you have experience discussing accommodations with an employer before getting diagnosed? I know most aren’t going to be very understanding until a diagnosis requires them to be, but my supervisor is also my masters advisor and is a very understanding person.
What is reasonable to bring up? How much should I expect to be accommodated?
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ADHD
|
So, ever since I started taking my adderall back in September, my brain has worked miracles. Seriously, my brain feels like it's moving at 1000% and it's really helped with a ton of things.
However, sometimes after my 2nd dose of the day wears off, I emotionally feel super drained and I get really lonely and my fuse gets super short. I just can get super depressed. Is that normal to just sometimes feel like that whenever the dopamine crashes or whatever? I haven't been taking it for a long time, so I'd love to get some responses from others if they had similar experiences.
Also, I feel like I've slowly gotten less productive as time goes on, like it's become less effective. First 2 months, I had no problem getting all my life in order and being able to accomplish my goals for the day without needing or feeling like slacking off. As of the beginning of November, I just haven't had the same impact? Is that normal also? I'm gonna talk with my doctor, but I'd love to hear yalls thoughts.
Thank yall!
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ADHD
|
I always thought I was a tortoise because of how long simple things take me to accomplish, but I realized that many times I showed much more potential than my peers. At the start, I'd perform so much better than most people would. My teacher, supervisor, or bosses would be super impressed and start expecting so much or me.
Only for me, as soon as I see the finish line, and how much ahead I am, I stop running. I lose all interest. "Why do I need to finish the race? There's still some time. I can take a break. This race is boring anyway. What's the point of finish now?"
And I've lost so many races. No matter how many times I promise I'll beat the tortoise, I fail. I always get the same feeling, the same urges, and as a result, I stop. And I fail. Even though when I solemnly promise myself that I'll cross that line no matter what, my body refuses to do it. I lose all power in my muscles, like someone unplugged my power cord.
If you can force yourself not to be the hare, then you absolutely should. Don't look behind. Don't compare yourself with the turtoise. Just grit your teeth and power through.
And if you see any other hares that keep losing to turtoise, try to educate them about ADHD and assist them in seeking help.
For now I'm not able to do that. Only got my assessment recently and working on my medication. Hopefully, I'll be able to beat that tortoise fair and square.
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ADHD
|
Working in retail, I have to deal with lots of people. Being surrounded by social media at home, I have to deal with even more people. And as a kid I went to public school so, more people.
Sometimes, embarrassing, awkward, disrespectful, and downright awful etc. interactions happen. I assume (and hope) the other person involved forgets after an hour.
Not me. I remember all of them, some of them a specific date too. And I get very upset about them. Every day. Over brief interactions that happened years ago.
The online ones are worse, since people online face zero repercussions for what they say. I think Facebook is the worst because it combines the personal (in the form of profiles) with the bad online attitudes, something that more anonymous sites like this don't do so much.
The worst ones I don't think I can type out right now, I'd get a bit upset and I have work later. But December 2018... still very upset about them, and think of them every single day. I'm so paranoid that the people involved will try to doxx me or find me or bully me. In reality they may not even remember but man I just hate this paranoia. I wish it'd go away. I wish I didn't feel harm from how awful the argument was.
I did the right thing and deleted my Facebook last summer but too much damage done by this point. Oh well.
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aspergers
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i’m still young, in my teens. my ocd symptoms have been there since i was in third grade, and it’s only gotten worse. i’ve started medication, and i’ve been seeing random therapy, but nothing seems to help. it’s gotten so so bad recently. one of my compulsions is spinning around a bunch of times, and it’s so freaking exhausting lol. it can make me so dizzy to the point of a blackout, and i’ll have to do it around 100 times sometimes. i hate it, and it’s just torture. i don’t know what to do or where to turn. i don’t even know what’s causing it. i have anxiety but i don’t know of anything worrying me when i’m having my flare ups usually. it’s so terrible. i feel so hopeless.
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OCD
|
Hi everyone, i’ve recently been diagnosed with OCD. It didn’t come as too much of a shock, as I had suspected i’d had it for a while. I fit all the boxes but i just had to go through the diagnosis process. One thing i’ve found since telling my parents is that they try to relate to me. I feel like they’re trying to do this to be sympathetic and make it feel like they understand, but in reality i feel like it undermines how i feel. For example my mum said that she thinks she might have OCD because she stirs her coffee so many times each morning, and my dad said that my mum has OCD because she needs to clean the kitchen every evening in a sort of routine. I just brush it off but it does irk me, they’re not being mean but it’s just annoying. Anyone else have people in their lives comparing things they do to try make you feel better but in reality it isn’t nice to hear. I’m dealing with horrible intrusive thoughts and having that compared to the way you stir your drink just doesn’t feel good.
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OCD
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And it stung. Not because I’m self conscious about my weight or the way I look. But because it’s very visible sign of what feels like a losing battle for my mental health.
I’m ok, but that was a tough one to shrug off.
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depression
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Hi all, does anyone else struggle when it feels like new intrusive thoughts come about after you’ve managed them well for a while? When this happens I get so frustrated that it’s like I forget all my coping skills. Then I get stuck in the pattern of keeping my emotions inside because I feel embarrassed that I’m struggling with my OCD again after my family, friends, and therapist had noticed how much better I had been doing. But that always ends up biting me in the ass anyway since my emotions just come out in other ways if I don’t acknowledge them myself. It’s a cycle I hate being caught in. I’m planning to discuss this honestly with my therapist this week. Does anyone have any tips that have helped them break this cycle? It can be so frustrating and it makes me feel like I’m losing my mind.
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OCD
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I found that playing guitar was a distraction a while ago now. Anyone else find this helpful when dealing with an anxiety attack?
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ptsd
|
26/M
last night, my gf broke up with my due to my jealousy issues. I have no trust issues with her, but my jealousy kicks in when I know she’s with other people and i am at home with crippling anxiety wishing I was with her.
I should say she was jealousy OCD as well and opened my world to the idea that this is something I may have. I am going to see my doctor about it and hopefully get onto some antidepressants because I cannot live through relationships like this.
She called me psycho which hurt my feelings a lot when I tried explaining to her this isn’t something I can control and I wish I could. I’m completely heartbroken knowing that my issue is the one that pushed her away.
I’ve always known OCD was an illness, but I never knew that it could affect my life this way. Sitting at home, laying in bed, with my phone in my hand just waiting for a text or call is not how I want to live my life.
I’m struggling now to realize that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and that is the reason the girl I thought I was going to marry has broken it off.
RJ OCD is very new to me and I am reaching out to this community to see what other people in my situation have done.
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OCD
|
so about a year ago my grandad was told he has cancer and about a year to live, we think he may not make it to a few months and he can barely get out of his death bed, i have been hoping he would make it and stay for a bit longer, i was holding onto the hope and trying not to get so upset about it and it only hit me recently that he will leave us.
i have never properly accepted death to be true, after watching 2 of my best friends and my abuser kill themself in front of me, my head does this thing where i don't really believe in death, but i just remembered the pain of what it is like to know that death is real and i cant help it, its gonna happen no matter what, i don't want him to go tho, he is the only one in the family i really care for, he has always been nice to me and had always accepted me for who i am, he is too nice, kind, loving and caring to leave us, i feel like i will have nothing after he leaves.
my mum said to me a few hours ago "don't dwell on something that is unchangeable" after she walks into the frontroom where i was playing my xbox and litrally crying, just my eyes tho, as if i had a emotional look on my face but only my eyes was crying, blanket around me and a mess all around me, shes telling me to clean up after myself and my problems don't matter and that I'm weak for crying about somethings that's gonna happen when ive known for a year, she made me feel bad for not having the time to go and see him, i keep working and doing college and helping others and I'm not looking after myself, ive wanted to see him but i know ill walk into his room and start to cry, and my mum told me that my granddad and nana cant handle others being upset, death has hit me again and i feel like I'm greving all over again before it even happens, it keeps giving me flashbacks of what i have seen, making my ptsd worst and it got to the point ive been avoiding my meds again, all of them, and if i take them i feel so much worst.
i just want my mum to understand I'm going to be upset and she shouldn't be mad that I'm upset, she says shes witnessed death a load of times and at this point i want to tell her she is just numb and shes witnessed it too much that it doesn't hit her as hard or she can put off the greive till shes ready, she tells me i should get ready for a new baby in the house which is due in 8 days but I'm getting so much worst that how can i get a whole house ready when i cant even look after myself? she doesn't understand what i have been through (TW, take this seriously as i put this in when i was in a better mindset so please don't read ahead if you have witnessed suicide( I thought to keep this in as i think it gives a better understanding and i just want to rant)) i litrally saw one of my friends in a bath of red and one with rope around their neck and my abuser litrally putting a bullet in his head right in front of me, so when it finally hits me like a brick that someone i love and have known for my whole life is going to leave of course I'm going to struggle, I'm gonna find it hard to deal with stuff, I'm going to cry and break down, i may get mad at you and say shit i regret but I'm sorry but its not fucking rocket science mum I'm going to be upset, I'm not strong enough, I'm weak and should deal with my own problems!
I'm sorry, i know this isn't easy for you but it isn't for me either, at least you have a dad! at least yours was so nice and loving and caring and he is the only father figure i can look up too, i feel like i wont have anything after he is gone, i don't want him to leave, i don't want him to go, i just feel shit and honestly i don't know what to do
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ptsd
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So, I have a friend who goes through delusions because of PTSD where he accuses us of hating him and talking about him behind his back, and it even got to the point of him saying we were in a cult just to hate him. I want to help him but I don't know much about PTSD and I'm not entirely sure how I should comfort him. Can someone please help me figure out what to say?
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ptsd
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After all the shit I don’t care about anything much less human beings… after the government denied the horrible effects of the trauma inflicted on me, I am nothing as a person.
I feel like I’m crossing into the proper point of insanity and not the gold type but more like sociopathy…
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ptsd
|
Hey everybody,
I’m a 20 year old female and I think I’m pregnant all the time and it’s ruining my life. I am sexually active and I use every precaution possible to prevent a pregnancy (I’m on birth control/ always use condoms). After taking all the necessary steps to try and ease my anxiety, I still end up thinking that I’m pregnant. I have struggled with these types of irrational thoughts since I was in middle school. It started with thinking that I had an STD, even though I had never had sex at that point, and it has escalated since. I am very aware that I’m not pregnant when I think I am, but those moments of clarity are far and few in-between.
What triggered my current episode was my missed period. I’m on my third pack of birth control and my doctor told me that my periods may be irregular at first. ANYWAYS, I have never missed a pill, the condoms never broke. I KNOW I’m not pregnant, but it doesn’t matter how much I try to reason with myself.
I guess I’m just asking for some form of advice or some ways to cope. Or maybe connect with some people who have had similar issues. I am looking into therapy and I’m on medication (Wellbutrin).
Please help
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OCD
|
I am just absolutely fucked. I’ve been diagnosed with severe clinical depression since 7th grade. In and out of therapy for years on and off of medication‘s for years. And then I had a falling out with my parents and I stopped going to doctors and I lost my health insurance.
Anyway I’ve hated myself for as long as I can remember, with good reason. I am actually useless. I have no talent or skill I can contribute to anything. I dropped out of high school bc it was too hard and always has been. I’ve never gotten As no matter how hard I try and it’s always
“ you’re just not applying yourself”.
I don’t know how to make friends because I was a military child and moved towns or even states every couple of years. Im not smart I can’t keep a job. I can’t even drive either. I am actually useless. I have anger issues because I hate myself so fucking much and I hate that I hate myself and I can’t stop which only makes me hate myself even more. And when I’m mad I’m out of control and I punch myself and yell at myself and I have no in between it’s either nothing or explosive and it’s ruining everything. I’m just so tired of it. And I’m tired of people telling me that it’s not true and I do have talents because they are literately lying, being “kind hearted” is not a skill or talent and will get me no where In life.
Anyway I’m sorry for the mess idek what the point was.
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depression
|
It seems that upping serotonin is not all there is, but it's about "balance". So I wonder if there's some particular combination/structure that's useful for that balance?
I've found for example that pairing certain vitamins with tryptophan while also adding fast carbs is a combo, but it also has to be spread out during the day in reasonable ways or otherwise the balance will not be constant throughout the day. Similarly it's not enough to simply "consume a lot of serotonin-foods", because I've found that when you take too much of them, then the effectiveness fades or turns into more manic effects or sometimes sleepy effects.
Then I've pondered, whether some foods, combos or some habits (like Pomodoro work technique) are more effective for managing that balance, w/o overdoing it or underdoing it.
Even for example increasing exercise doesn't work out, because too much and you start to burn yourself out, rather than enhance. Exercise seems pretty good at balancing, but then you need to limit it to an appropriate level (i.e. not too intense). (some support: [https://culinahealth.com/2020/07/31/how-much-exercise-is-too-much/](https://culinahealth.com/2020/07/31/how-much-exercise-is-too-much/))
Something which is also pretty good at balance is to cut down stress. Cut down work hours. But again if you overdo this, it may lead to depressive symptoms.
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OCD
|
I absolutely need people to interact with me and acknowledge my existence or I start spiralling, and the only way I can get people to do that is to pretend I'm not depressed. I don't have any close friends but I at least have people who talk to me on occasion and I know if I expressed who I *really* am - depressed, suicidal, hopeless & metaphorically banging my head against a brick wall every day - they'd find me disturbing, stressful, or discomforting. I have to pretend I'm fine so I can keep them from leaving. But I feel like I don't even exist now. Being in emotional pain is such a core aspect of my life and who I am that having to hide it feels like I'm pretending to be another person entirely. It's like no one even knows me, they just know a visual facsimile of me that lacks all of the parts that would scare them away. I'm so tired and I feel like I'm dying inside a bit more every hour.
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depression
|
Please share your anti procrastination tips!!! I’m desperate. I procrastinate even things I WANT to do. But most importantly, I need to study. And also I want to, but I can’t make myself start. If eventually I do start, I’ll keep going easily so I need to start only. I’m studying at home, in my bedroom, because of the pandemic. I have tried a study buddy, I have one on discord, but sometimes she is not available and I wont do anything or we call and I will do something else. I have asked the people close to me (parents, sister, boyfriend) if they could check on me (like asking me to go study, or if I’m studying) but they say they will and never do (not their fault anyway). I literally don’t know what to do but honestly can’t keep going like this
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ADHD
|
I was recently texting a good friend of mine about how much it frustrates me when I am trying to get across some information to someone else and that person interrupts me and gives me irrelevant information. He said that he felt I had a deep seeded need to be right, which I think he was identifying with my intuitive need for things to be black or white, true or false, 1 or 0. I think when people are giving me what I consider to be irrelevant information, it is just information that doesn't fit into 1 or 0, but that doesn't make it irrelevant; it just makes it a 0.5.
I think when I've been struggling and frustrated with conversations in my life, it has always been that it is a 0.5. I am hoping that if I am aware of this and when I start to feel frustrated, if I can categorize it as a 0.5, then I can let that anger go and move on.
Has anyone else experienced this and tried it? Did it work for you in the long run?
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aspergers
|
That title is not hyperbole, I literally need to be looking at apartments but I just keep sitting around and staring at my phone or anything mindless while I progressively feel more and more like a piece of shit for not being able to do such a simple thing. I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do.
I guess this was more just complaining, but if anyone has any advice, please give it.
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ADHD
|
I love decorating and Christmas and totally overdo it with multiple trees. The obvious struggle is execution of ideas! I’ve been using the “timer” method and have 4 trees done and one left, with bins lying around everywhere. I have zero motivation to finish. I thought maybe my ADHD friends could use a place to help encourage each other to help with motivation when we need that final push.
It’s ok that we don’t get it all done in a day or in a logical way like our other friends! Let’s just try to enjoy the process together. Share about your decorating themes, tips or words of encouragement!
(I just realized we can’t post pics here!)
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ADHD
|
I just realized that I can't really picture people's faces in my mind. I can recognize them if I see a picture but I can't really imagine them. This goes for people I don't know that well and people I know more than anyone like my parents or siblings. I don't know if this is normal or a symptom of add or just me.
Does anyone have the same "problem"?
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ADHD
|
I don’t know if that makes sense but I basically fear someone in my life dying or something catastrophic happening in my life because I know I couldn’t handle the pain. So it’s a constant anxiety of a hypothetical situation. Does anyone deal with this?
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OCD
|
The only resource I have right now is the internet and Reddit but it’s honestly pointless hoping people online can give any positivity or legit answers.
I’m way past trying to kill myself at this point all I do is sit and fester with my thoughts and emotions.
It affects me physically, some days I get so overwhelmed it feels like my insides are being torn apart and my heart feels like daggers are being shoved through it I don’t mean metaphorically either it legitimately severely hurts when I’m overwhelmed or too depressed now so I feel like I’m being forced to be happy even if that means doing drugs.
I’m so goddamn tired yo.
I have no motivation to try to get better, when I try to find answers I’m reminded nobody cares and even if they say they do they can’t handle my emotions anyways.
I have no release or privacy because I don’t live alone and any attempt I’ve made for 2 years almost to get out of this house keep failing.
I can’t do anything right and being talented hasn’t done shit for me. Nothing has.
I don’t know why God or the universe won’t just take me out today but at this rate who cares I’ll probably die of a stress induced heart attack or a stroke anyways.
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depression
|
I started dating again, and one question that comes up often is "what do you do in your free time?" or "what are your hobbies?" My periods of hyperfocus make it difficult for me to hold onto any hobbies for a long time, so I never know how to answer this question. Like many others with ADHD, I'm a jack of all trades and master of none.
It's really embarassing when I'm on a date and I can't give an answer for this. The only hobby I've never let go of is video games, but I hate making it sound like all I do is play video games. I do a lot of things, I'm just not specifically attached to any of them.
Edit: I just want to thank everyone for all the support and it advice. Not having a specific hobby that I've mastered is something I'm insecure about, but you all make my hobby hopping sound like such a cool thing. You've changed my perspective on it, and I really appreciate it!
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ADHD
|
Been a while since I posted here, but lately I've noticed being INCREDIBLY sensitive to packaging on food or beverages; such as the water case I bought, perfectly sealed in the original shrink wrap, and the water bottles themselves clearly being sealed has labels that varying levels of extra stains or tears
The rational part of my brain is fully aware that it was just a machine messing up, or the cases were in the rain as they were loading the truck or into the store, etc.
My boyfriend has been drinking the water and is fine but I'm avoiding it entirely and even feel like I need to wash my hands after touching a bottle
I'd like to, you know, just drink the water but I can't seem to stop the loop or fear something is wrong. Tips on how to power through?
Thank you!
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OCD
|
kinda like a false memory, but i dont even have any memories?? its just that im scared of having done something thatd be unfaithful to my gf and i keep thinking of a fake mental image of me doing this over and over to try and see if its real and it stresses me out so much. during my bad episodes itll even start to convince me that i did do this. but there is no evidence that ive ever done this, and theres so much evidence that i actually havent. i even try to tell myself, “yes i did do this” and it feels untrue. and i think i know in my gut that its not real, because if it was, i wouldnt even be able to LOOK at my gf. i just love her so much and id never do anything to hurt her and i dont want anybody else in this world, but if this were true id probably lose my soulmate. i told her all about my worries and how im scared of having done this and she said theres no way it wouldve happened and that shes here for me. theres NO way i wouldve ever been comfortable doing this.
im supposed to see her this weekend and im happy to see her, but god im so stressed and worried that this is real and i cant stop thinking of it. i feel like if it was, my morals absolutely wouldnt let me do this. i just want us to have a good time when shes here :( i dont wanna have betrayed my love
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OCD
|
I have ocd. I used to fight my ocd compulsions by making rushed promses to Christian God (and maybe other Gods heard me instead if Christian God is not real)
I was making promises about not doing certain ocd compulsions and was asking for punishment in case breaking them in order to use the fear of the punishment to scare my ocd and make it shut up.
I never meant those promises. It was just a trick to force myself stop thinking about the compulsions. I was using fear to find some relief from the compulsions.
I have asked from God/Gods to absolve me from all these ocd promises. However, there was an older promise that was about asking for punishment in case smoking.
I was trying to stop smoking but I ended up failing. Not only that, but it was a procedure that was tiring. I would try not to smoke. I would be able not to smoke for some days. Then, my thoughts were focused on smoking. It was difficult not to think about smoking.
I always ended up smoking and I was worrying for my health and for the sin of smoking. I tried to use the promise to force myself stop smoking because I was tired and worried.
However, there wwere times that I smoked in certain occasions. I wanat to smoke now again but I worry.
I worry because of these promises.
Also, coincidences happened that I started wworrying that it may be bad signs from Gods.
For example, today I was thinking about smoking i think, and I felt a burning sensation somewhere in my face that is connected with my ocd worries. i was wondering if it was warning/sign.
Some minutes later, I saw a picture on youtube that was about that PART of my face that I felt the burning sensation. I was thinking if it was a coincidence or a sign and the first comment of the youtube video had the word "sign". It was talking about something related to the video but still it had the word "sign" in it.
Many coincidneces happened in the past. For example, I was worrying that I may have witnessed a glitch in the matrix system and due to another reason about this, I ended up experiencing coincidences.
The coincidences were about random guesses that I may see something related to my worry. for example
- 1) due to a small coincidence, I worried that I may read/see a word related to my ocd worry. And randomly, I read something related to my ocd worry. I was thinking about something related to matrix and I read the word simulation.
- 2) I was thinking about a coincidences and randomly clicked on a random second of a youtube video that had the sentence "its not a good sign"
- 3) I was thinking about a kinda greek expression that can be translated as "go to hell" and there are high chances that I randomly heard my brother saying it after me randomly thinking it while in bed.
- 4) I was thinking about a hat that was related to my ocd worries with coincidences and I randomly saw a man wearing a rare hat that was similar to my ocd worry.
these were some of the coincidences related to the simulation theory.
there were others much older that were about God or Gods. like:
I am writing a list of coincidences that I suspected that they were a negative sign from God. My ocd fear has to do with making promises and asking punishment from God.
- 1)I was in my bed, 2 years ago. I asked from God a specific sign to happen, if in case, lets say, my ocd is right. I asked something like if my ocd is right, to hear a door opening/closing in the building that I used to live, then. The sound in order to be considered as a sign, should be heard til 5 seconds pass, since I ask it. If the sound happens after 6 or more seconds, it wont be considered as a sign. I asked for that sign and even though, I changed my opion about it due to a possible coincidence, I heard someone unlocking his/her door apartment. it was before the 5-second rule. Since, then, I would find myself between sleep and awake, and I would have the very first thought of the day. Randomly, with my eyes still closed from sleep, I was having random thoughts like " door sound, i will hear a door" etc. And after some 5-10 seconds, I would hear a door. That happened more than 5 times, I guess. It was as if my mind was predicting that i will hear a door. It was not a dream. I suppose, my subconscious was scared by the door coincidence, and in my sleep, I would hear sounds that are similar to door. For example, even calling the elevator would sound as a heavy door closing. If someone unlocks his/her door aparment and then, closes the door, I would hear it in my sleep and get the random thought "door sound, door sound" then, I would hear the man/woman calling the elevator which sounds like a door closing with force, so, I guess that created the misunderstanding that I was predicting a door sound, every morning.
- 2) I was praying and had my eyes closed. In the blackness, I was thinking about my ocd fear and that, created an image. That image was a japanese monster that I watched, randomly, on internet days ago. I opened my eyes, and started looking random stuff in facebook. After 5-10 minutes, I saw an article about that monster that it popped in my mind while I was praying. it was the first time, that I saw it on facebook.
- 3) I was watching a video. the guy was talking about a symbol. I heard him saying the word sign, but was not sure. I decided to close the video because my mind started thinking stuff like " I will hear it again and it will be a bad, scary coincidence, i better close it" I wa ready to close the site but my new thoughts stopped me. I was thinking " what if when i close the video, I will hear the guy saying the word "sign" as the last word before closing the video? that would be scary" I just wanted to close the video because I did not want to hear the word "sign" and when I tried to close it, i stopped because I feared that I would hear the word "sign" as the last word before closing it. So, I waited some seconds in order for the guy to somehow, change the subject and when I felt that it was the right moment to close it, I closed it, very fast, and uninentionally, without knowing that he will say the word "sign" I closed it with him saying the word "sign" as the last word. It was so unlikely to happen. The guy was speaking fast. If I had closed the video 1 second earlier, I would never have heard it. But I was so unlucky that I closed it randomly, when he was saying the word "sign" I know he said that word because I op How my mind predicted that I would hear the word "sign" as the last word before closing the video? I checked it and the guy indeed was saying the word "sign" and I am worried because if I have closed the video 1 second earlier or later, this scary coincidence would never happen. how you explain that?
- 4) A coincidence happened in youtube, with a video game character from Mortal Kombat, known as Scorpion. He transformed to a scorpion and i do not remember, exactly but that generated a random thought like " I guess, Scorpion will give me some worries about my whole ocd-coincidence case" I was playing Mortal Kombat 4 after a very long time, and the first opponent was Scorpion. I lost the match, and it the moment that Scorpion was to give me the finishing strike. I got a random thought like " i hope he wont transform to a scorpion" and he did! first match and he transformed to a scorpion. i was playing against the computer. there are many other moves that could computer use in order to finish me, and the computer choose to transform to a scorpion. that is not so common when playing against a computer. I fought him again and lost again. I was thinking " I hope he does not transform to a scorpion 2 times in a row because that would be very rare" and yes, he transformed to a scorpion again. 2 times in a row! I was watching a youtube video with a collection of all mortal kombat finishing moves. It was about 1 or 2 hours. I randomly, clicked the timeline in a random second. It was the second that the Scorpion character was transforming to a scorpion! That was about 7 seconds. So, from all 60-120 minutes of the video, I randomly, clicked on the 7-second scene of scorpion?
- 5) My ocd fear is about asking punishment from God so i was thinking about a similar example. I was thinking that if someone would have asked from God to lose his arm in an accident, that would never happen. that calmed me down but 1 minute later, I saw someone in the street with one arm only. was that a sign from God to tell me that I should be afraid of what my ocd says?
- 6) I ended up having random sound coincidences with other daily sounds, similar to the door sound. Like car alarms and dog barking. I would be thinking about my ocd and then, I would have random thoughts like " i hope i wont hear a door or a dog or a car alarm" and yes, i would hear one of these things. many times. I would be writing about the door coincidence in the internet and I would get a random thought like "I hope i wont hear a door sound, now tha i am writing the word "door" because that would be a scary" and yes, i was hearing a door sound.
- 7) I was having a scary thought for many days. i was thinking "what if one day, I hear these 3 sounds (dog,alarm,door) together? that would be super scary" One day, i was thinking about my ocd and randomly, a dog barked. I thought " just a dog, i would be scared only if it was the 3 sounds together" the dog kept barking for a minute and suddenly, I hear a car alarm ringing the same time with the elevator sound. The elevator sound, sounds like a heavy door closing so, it can be considered as the 3 sounds happening together. I was in a different neighborhood, and I heard a car alarm the same time with a door opening/closing in the building. i remembered the 3-sound coincidence and I was like " the only thing we miss now is a dog" and a dog started barking.
- 8) I was writing many times, on internet, about these coincidences. One afternoon, a friend that knows nothing of my problem, send me a spam message. he wanted to complain that I always cancel when we arrange something. the message was like
" Coincidences are good but is it a coincidence that I agree? everytime we arrange to go out, you cancel it, is that a coincidence"
I freaked! why he randomly, used the word "coincidence"
- 9) An internet user, suggested me 3 books related to my ocd problem, somehow. I was not interested in these books and as I was ready to close the site, i got a thought like "what if there is a sign hidden in these books? choose one of them" I randomly, searched one of the three books, for its summary in wikipedia. The ending was almost, 80% my ocd fear and the summary was using words-phrases that I used to describe my ocd fear. was that a coincidence? my mind predicted that I would find something there and then, indeed I found something related to my ocd fear so much?
- 10) A friend of mine was speaking about the thiefs that steal wallets from random people. I was thinking about my ocd fear and got a random thought like " Perhaps, we are cursed from God" and at that moment, I hear my friend saying " the thief curses when he steals a wallet that it is empty due to the economy crisis" was that a coincidence?
- 11) I read the word "curse" on internet and I hear from the tv, which was playing a scooby-doo episode, saying something like " he was cursed" i freaked and the tv kept saying " his worst nightmare came true"
- 12) I entered the room in which the tv was open. It was a show about mythology. The narrator was saying a story. When I walked in the room, I heard the narrator saying " She cursed herself and the sea and asked from God to be transformed to stone and God granted her wish" That was my ocd fear! asking a punishment from God. I was writing about that coincidence on the internet and as I was thinking to write " Was that a coincidence or not" I hear my grandma saying to my father something like '' these are signs" was that a coincidence again?
- 13) I was staying in an airbnb apartment. I was looking the bookcase that had a few books. after some time, I looked it again, and had a book with the title "THE SIGN OF GOD" i did not freak because it was a time that I started ignoring my ocd and was thinking less about the whole coincidence-thing. But still, why i did not saw that book when I checked for the first time?
can someone explain to me, what he/she thinks of these coincidences one by one. These coincidences are the reason that I cant just ignore my ocd that easily. Because coincidences happen that perhaps, tell me that my ocd is right and I should worry about it.
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OCD
|
Hey, (16/f) so yesterday I went into anaphylactic shock (allergic reaction) and I’ve never had to get an epinephrine injection before and once I could breath again I immediately started having a panic attack getting flashbacks because of the adrenaline. I’ve been pushing everything down to the point where it’s just numb and I don’t have to take meds anymore. But it all came back after that and I’ve been trying so hard not to self harm or anything drastic or showing any kind of stress. I have a mom that if I even started crying she would send me back to an inpatient. Has anyone else had this happen to them. I don’t know if it’s common or not, I’ve never heard of it.
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ptsd
|
It all began when i was younger, and found myself unable to enjoy a game fully if i did not pick every unlockable, every special item, every single little thing there was to get. At this Point in my life, i'm unable to have fun playing videogames, because It's anxiety inferno everytime i start a New game. I've been trying to (start) playing The witcher 3 for one month, and if something doesn't Go according to The script in my brain i feel a huge bout of anxiety until i restart The whole game. And everything starts again. I feel frustrated, for playing VG is perhaps my favorite hobie. Tell me people, How do you dela with your Episodes, How can i start enjoying it again without The pressure to make everything perfect?
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OCD
|
words can't describe how much I hate my parents. Everything I do is wrong. They won't listen to me. I'm not brave enough to kms but I want to. I can't stop shaking. Fuck fuck fuck fuck why why am I such a disappointment to everyone. I hurt everyone around me. I don't deserve to exist and I don't want to. I wish my parents weren't so horrible about my sh and actually took me to a psychiatrist instead of saying it as a threat. I wanna die and I fucking wont stop shaking. I wish they understood that I need help! No matter how many times I tell them they just laugh in my face or say that I'm ungrateful. I'm trying so hard not to relapse and I wish I didn't have to suffer through this stupid painful fucking existence!
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depression
|
so i (19F) got diagnosed about 3 months ago, and i was prescribed adderall. yesterday i took it for the first time, im starting on only 5MG. I’m really happy with the results. i was the most productive i’ve been in months, i got so much stuff i needed to get done, and it made my anxiety go away!!! like that??? i was calm and happy, and i haven’t felt that way in such a long time. it was awesome. i can tell medication is gonna be a really good thing for me. but i’m scared to take it again. for some reason the idea of me depending on a drug really really terrifies me, i don’t want to become an addict or something. idk. im just so scared that i will become addicted to it and it’ll fuck my life up. just need some advice i guess.
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ADHD
|
Hi everyone, this is my first post. I hope I've followed all of the rules correctly but please let me know if anything needs to be changed. The TW here is for a brief, non-descriptive mention of sexual assault but I will also be discussing why I haven't been able to go to the doctor.
I was sexually assaulted at 18. I'm 23 now and I've never been able to force myself to go to a gynecologist. Every time my doctor's office tries to schedule one with me they emphasize how important it is and how it's something I "need" to do, which just makes me feel even less like I'm able to do it. I've taken it completely off the table for now and I feel okay with that decision.
I also feel like "female healthcare" is so out dated in terms of pain relief and informed consent... it really doesn't inspire confidence in me when I hear horrible stories of women getting IUDs inserted or removed, cervical biopsies with no pain relief, etc.
Has anyone else experienced this? Were you able to make yourself go?
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ptsd
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I am such a pussy. I just can't do this shit anymore.
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depression
|
Hi all,
I’m at a total point of desperation in helping my girlfriend/partner with her illness. We have been together 15 months and within the first few months of being together she was formally diagnosed with PTSD resulting from sexual violence within the context of a previous relationship. We also started two new high-stress jobs at the same time.
Her symptoms are severe - she was initially suicidal and very depressed. We are out of that initial emergency phase but her panic attacks are so debilitating. We can’t be intimate a lot of the time, can’t kiss at times, can hardly sleep in the same bed, and she can hardly sleep at night (which affects me too). We are both shift workers in roles looking after other people and at the end of the day it feels like I have very little emotional reserves left in my tank.
When she had an anxiety attack is usually involves lying in/on bed curled up in a ‘child like’ state needing full and utter attention on my part, or sitting at the bottom of a shower expecting me to come and support her. Supporting her can take an hour or two per episode. **I feel like I’m always her caregiver/parent and I hate this. **
Her anxiety has also manifested in needing control in our relationship- needing financial security is one example. I’ve caught her going through my banking transactions to track my spending, she set up a strict budget and expected me to follow it, I felt guilty doing every day transactions (ie buying coffee) and started constraining me as to what I can or cannot buy. Basically she completely lacked any trust in my ability to handle money and felt she needed to control it. We don’t live together so I still (and even living together) wanted to feel like I still have the freedom to make my own financial decisions, good and bad, as it is my own earned money (she earns her own too) and we are both only in our early 20s.
Things are complex, but our relationship has hit rock bottom for the second time in our 15 month relationship and I’m left feeling unhappy and sad. I’ve tried my best to help her but I feel like I’m suffering so much as a result of her ptsd and just need some help/guidance/support. I see a regular counselling but that only addresses issues, the issues keep coming and coming.
Thanks guys
DomTheOtter
TL;DR I’m struggling helping my partner get through her ptsd and I’m burnt out. I really need advice and support on how to help us get through this.
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ptsd
|
To this day I remember being hopeless all the pain I have cause no one knows the real me. I’ll maybe have 2-6 years of bad luck as punishment from god as ruined my dad’s life as I was also addicted to porn,how pathetic I was why couldn’t I stop now I have bad luck i know this because of common sense but overthinking has help me as the people I thought I trusted switched up on me as they will chose their new life over you the memories you had of them will erase as i’m depressed for all the pain I have caused I sometimes think of killing myself this is the only way to express myself as I have lost everyone and have no one to trust knowing that your parents hate you and call you a disappointment saying that they want to kill you or wished you were never born knowing that you cause many bad. things to happen knowing that you lost your friends knowing i’m lonely I now want to kill my self. Will anyone care as I am a kid still. I’m scared to be alone as thats my worst fear.
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depression
|
I’m a very naive 19 yo man and I just wanna help but the biggest thing about being someone who wants to help is you know you gotta deal with those people who want no help but you can’t let them distract your mission and turn you into everyone else who just says well no one out there can be helped.
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ptsd
|
Hi team :) I (23f) was diagnosed last year and have been managing treatment very well, as well as having made massive bounds in progress! I’m on sert, I exercise a heap more, eat well, live love laugh etc.
Two things though:
1) my blood pressure was always 100/70, but since my diagnosis has been 120/80. I know it’s not a red flag, but was just wondering if this is a common happenstance? To have higher bp than before despite healthier interventions? I’m thinking sth to do with anxiety?
2) my audio processing. I have trouble concentrating on what people say especially in loud environments. I’ve never had an issue with this prior to my diagnosis. The hearing test came back totally fine, but I have to concentrate really hard and it tires me out quickly at work. I definitely feel like my ptsd has affected my concentration and maybe it’s related?
Seeing a doctor abt this soon but wanted some personal experiences to read about!
Cheers ❤️
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ptsd
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We're all struggling so much in our own ways.. but if you could dream and reimagine your life for just a moment, how would you complete this sentence?
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depression
|
If I go for too long without reassurance that I’m not a monster I feel like I get withdrawal. Definitely something I need to work on lol.
|
OCD
|
So I have ptsd that stems from fire, but I’ve noticed I don’t really have any reactions from fireWORKS. I’m really cynical about them though as of late, and idk if it’s just bc I don’t like where I’m from or if that’s some form of having/preventing an attack. My normal reactions are full of panic, sensory overload, and adrenaline-filled. But is it also possible to be outwardly at peace but inwardly super cynical as a form of attack? It’s just like I’m feeling super pissed at the mass of fireworks going off in a wide circle around me. Like they’re trying to upset me on purpose maybe? Idk.
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ptsd
|
I have tried nearly all serotonergic antidepressants (zoloft, lexapro, clomipramine, remeron, prozac, paxil) and several atypical antipsychotics (risperidone, quetiapine, abilify, olanzapine) but my OCD is still unmanageable. I also tried dTMS but it didn't help. What medications should I discuss with my psychiatrist during my next consultation? Thanks.
P.S. I attend psychotherapy regularly but it doesn't help much.
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OCD
|
I got obsessed with Celestine prophecy. I have been obsessed with law of attraction. I don't move a inch. I barely breathe. I'm way too afraid of the butterfly affect. Just help me get outta this. I'm so over this. I'm not into law of attraction OCD. That's what it is right? Law of attraction OCD? How would I best describe this? Driving me mad. Help
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OCD
|
It’s bad. Some days, if the stars align, I’ll be able to do things. Eat, get to class, do some work. On days like this though, where not everything has worked out…well, I can’t do much else than this. I haven’t left my bed yet. I haven’t eaten. I haven’t had any water. I can’t bring myself to even take a shower. Even writing this is taking quite some time. I miss classes and it only makes me feel worse. I have medicine that works well, but because of my health issues, it’s a bit dangerous. I used to have a lot more of these kinds of days, before I lived alone. A bad spell had me go days without water. I need this kind of thing to stop, because there’s nobody around to help anymore. Also I don’t want to get kicked out of uni but I can’t really comprehend the future more than a day or so ahead.
I’ve got dreams. I want to have a future. I just don’t know how I’m going to earn one like this.
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ADHD
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I’m too busy stewing over things that aren’t even realistic.
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OCD
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Every time something in life doesn’t go my way, I’ll say to myself its fine you can just off yourself at any time preferable. And basically I’ll sleep in sometimes, create fake excuses as to why I can’t come in to work and if someone decides to fire me or something well you get the message.
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depression
|
So I'm at a wedding, not mine, and I just had to get out. I don't even know why. My partner and I have been together for many years now, and one of the core group of his (our, now) friends got married. I've known these people for years, but tonight was the first time I've ever let myself get tipsy around them/ gone on a "oh buddy I'm super passionate about this niche thing surprise I'm a huge fucking nerd about it and I'm ready to talk your ear off" rant. My partner (who is intimately aware of my PTSD triggers and takes such care to make sure I'm alright and I'm safe-- fucking bless his understanding ass) was so proud of me and told me a bit later in the evening and it... oof I dont know.
I didn't even notice. I was so unguarded and so genuinely me around other people and I *didnt even notice*. I know that should be a sign of recovery but it sent me into a fucking tailspin. I think maybe I had a moment of clarity?
My abuser of over a decade is dead and has been for a few years now. I found a place I'm safe and loved and despite all that, despite the painful, backbreaking attempts to heal I've made and continue to make -- she's still somehow ruling my life. I feel so trapped and suffocated, and that just built a mountain of guilt. It took me *over four years* to open up enough to talk about something trivial I'm excited about to people that have been kind and friends with me for all that time. I've been to every single one of their weddings, celebrate friendsgivingmas with them every year, and am marrying into that group (most of whom will be the few people to attend/participate)
I feel so guilty. I feel so fucking guilty I can't breathe. If I can't escape her after she's been rotting in soil for years, how am I supposed to have hope that one day I'll be able to exist without debilitating fear? She's in everything I do, I just want to rip her out but I'm not sure where she and her influence ends and I begin.
I told them I had too much to drink and needed to lie down. I threw up because I feel more trapped than I ever have before.
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ptsd
|
I have multiple diagnosis so I'm trying to figure out what's going on and if this is my OCD fucking with me or something else. Trying to help my psychiatrist figure out my meds.
There are things that I avoid that I really should not avoid. Simple things that I have no reason to avoid. There is no specific fear attached and no reason and no ritual. The inability to do these things causes me anxiety, not the other way around.
There are certain things that I do that my psychiatrist says are compulsions but I'm not doing these compulsions to prevent anything or out of any fear mostly I do it to alleviate anxiety.
I would love to hear what anyone has to say if you can relate or have any info for me.
Thank you 💜
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OCD
|
This title is a phrase that represents me a lot and maybe it also represents you.
It's from a TV series that I consider the best series I've seen, since I heard it, it has represented me
Good Morning,
I want to tell my story with what comes to be OCD as i am completely confused and tired. First of all, I want to apologize for the level of english in this writing, as it is not my first language and there may be flaws or inconsistencies.
Well that started a year and a half ago now when I did the transition from 4th grade to 1st grade and I think that was the trigger for everything that came after. I started doing little cleaning rituals that I hadn’t done before, and little by little they got worse. I already heard that something was happening but for some reason I did not ask for help. I had to do these cleaning rituals and repeat them to alleviate the anxiety I had from not dping them. In the middle of the first year of high school came the pandemic and perhaps I can say that in terms of these rituals there were improvements, I developed other rituals such as compulsively closing the tabs of the computer you have open to reopen them or when sending a message delete the message and retype it.
I think the summer was better but at the beginning of November the course came the worst. The compulsions of cleansing diminished greatly but I began to perform mental rituals different from the physical ones I had had until then. My head was thinking things I didn’t want. Very unpleasant things that I never wanted to think and that came intrusively to the mind, in order to calm the anxiety that caused me these kinds of thoughts I had to repeat mentally that it was not me who wanted to think this, that it was illness (from the very beginning of all this I was aware that I had a disorder or at least I imagined it as they were things I had not done before, it must have been that something was wrong in my head). Those thoughts were getting worse, I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought that if I committed suicide I would end up with the pity that these thoughts created in me, but I never tried because I didn’t have the courage to do it, but many times I wished a car would hit me. I went to the doctor. My parents had noticed all the cleaning compulsions and told me to go to the doctor, The doctor referred me to a mental health center and they arranged an appointment for me. I went there. They asked me several questions and I went explain what I thought was happening to me. After going there I made a post on this reddit as I had a huge drop due to a fact that happened which made me fall very deeply. I made the first appointment with the psychologist. My situation then was as follows: he had thoughts about being a pedophile or being racist or sexist, thoughts insulting friends. All of these thoughts generated incredible anxiety in me but I tried to control it by trying a kind of EPR based on things I had read. When the day came, the psychologist assessed me according to the information they had gathered from the previous test and what I had told her was going on. He concluded that it was an anxiety problem. he said he would call it OCD but that it did not become an OCD, that it did not meet the requirements. I was certainly surprised. I was convinced I had OCD, and I still am, but the psychologist told me it wasn’t just OCD just an anxiety problem that made me think things I didn’t want. They didn’t give me medication and as a treatment they told me to try not to respond to intrusive thoughts and they would end up leaving. They arranged another appointment for me. I just wanted to release that. My head has been torturing me all this time and I continue to do so and I am convinced that it is OCD, I could have died perfectly if I had had the strength of will and a clear idea of how to do it. I don't think it's just an anxiety problem that makes me think things I don't want ... I know that in this reddit there may not be doctors but I would ask you for an opinion on this if it can be ...
Thank you so much.
I wish you the best.
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OCD
|
I wish someone was in my head with me so I wouldn’t feel so alone I try to explain how I feel but even than I can’t because everything in my head is so confusing I wish someone was in my head with me so they can feel what I feel I feel so lonely my thoughts are confusing or am I making them confusing because I don’t want to face reality but it’s all so jumbled and confusing I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know
|
OCD
|
This happens at least once a month, brother gets bored, brother pranks autistic youngest in the family (me) autist gets mad, people yell, I hide in my room, brother gets punished for instating a fight
But April fools he knows he won’t be punished so I’m probably gonna die inside
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aspergers
|
For a long time I wondered what it was about me that made people dislike me I thought it was my personality, my height, my eye color, my hair color, the fact that I’m so pale or maybe even all of them. But I still don’t know what it is and it’s gotten to the point I don’t even like myself so much that I try to be a different person, life is sick and twisted honestly. You do all these things in life only to realize it doesn’t matter we’ll all die anyway but it does make it better, while your living life your supposed to enjoy it but I can’t seem to when I know how insignificant and unimportant I am. I just wish I knew what it was that people really repelled me like I was the plague. I’m not trying to sound like a self pity but I guess I’m just tired of being nothing for so long.
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depression
|
I'm looking to put myself out there to make friends for the first time in my life at the age of 26, but the one question I ask myself is, why would anyone want to be my friend?
I'm not interesting, I'm a negative person, I have no other friends which means I have zero social capital, I have no life experience to draw on, I'm behind in life compared to most people my age, and I have nothing to offer.
I'm a failure, a reject, and an embarrassment. Why would I even bother? What do I hope to get out of this?
I've been feeling this way for the last 10 years. Nothing has improved. I don't believe that life has anything to offer me because I haven't got anything to offer the world. In all my years of living I don't think I've genuinely enjoyed a single day. Why would that change now?
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depression
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After my therapist asked me to fill out a questionnaire about all kinds of things (and I knew what every question was about because on a whim I read into all kinds of mental illnesses for days on end), there was a question about intrusive thoughts. I have those, discussed them with him - I think I worded a lot of things poorly/didn't consider some which makes me think I gave him the wrong information, so I'm posting here since it's easier to write these things out - and he said I might have subclinical OCD.
These thoughts, I'll come to what they are in a second, are pretty severe in the sense that I can't go more than an hour without them if I'm lucky, or extremely busy playing League of Legends.
I 'combat' these usually by pinching myself really hard, bending my fingers or either singing the first melody that comes to mind, or suddenly yelling a text out loud that I'm currently reading. <- these are just some examples, I really don't know how to put everything into words. There are 2 types of thoughts I've been having:
1. Getting reminded of every single time in life that I felt insecure, embarrassed, was cringing at myself, etc. Really common and incredibly straining/taxing to deal with.
2. What-if scenarios, either
"What if [someone else] did [thing that's scary] for no reason at all", or
"What if I did [thing that's scary] for no reason at all", the second is more common, and is always connected with an impulse to do it (but I don't remember ever actually doing it). A frequent example would be me sitting in a car with someone else driving, I'd often either think about what would happen if they randomly stopped steering and just ran into the next tree/truck, or think about why I shouldn't just take the wheel and pull the car into that tree/truck. It often gets out of control to the point where I'm sitting there stuck in my head vividly imagining it play out and kind of thinking it's real.
Other than these thoughts though, I don't have any physical obsessions like constantly rechecking everything, I tend to forget about everything all the time more often than not due to ADHD.
Sorry for the lengthy post, I had a lot to process and add that I didn't realize before so there's a lot of additional stuff I added later on. Are my issues something to consider OCD diagnosis/medication over, is this a part of ADHD potentially or is this within the realms of normality?
If y'all could give me some feedback, that'd be much appreciated!
Post-post edit: Since I'm pretty much always behind schedule on tasks and schoolwork, I made it a habitual thing to triple+ check if I did everything (sometimes checking on the same thing multiple times even though I already know there's nothing, but I ~might~ have missed something) and if I don't it makes me really anxious.
I might still add more stuff here; all of *this* is still new to me, I only started ADHD diagnosis and therapy a couple months back.
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OCD
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you’re amazing the way you are and are some of the strongest mfs I know. Stay strong
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OCD
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I’m curious to see how common emetophobia is among those who have OCD. I’m one that suffers from both.
[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/lm2rf8)
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OCD
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I don't know where to begin or what subreddit to post this on, so forgive me if this is the wrong one. But, I am hearing a really loud knocking sound in my head. It's ***not*** like a pulse sound or an audible sound. It's a silent knocking over and over and over again on a loop, like how a song would get stuck in your head. It's driving me almost crazy. If I am listening to a song or typing on my key board, for minutes or hours after I can just hear this inaudible thumping on a loop, and I have to stop. Is this caused by my mental health issues or is this a natural phenomenon that I am overthinking because of my mental health issues?
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OCD
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I’m currently on dextroamphetamine, but I’ve also taken Ritalin and focalin in the past.
Once my meds kick in in the morning, I get this heavy feeling of exhaustion… it’s almost like the meds remind my brain that I’m tired and allow the sleepy signals to go through.
It doesn’t happen when/if I take my second dose, so I figure it’s to do with exhaustion I already have… but idk.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
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ADHD
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I'm not an Aspie, but I wanted to know this because I saw some people not liking that term and seeing something about it being problematic, so I wanted to know if anyone knows why.
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aspergers
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feeling terribly guilty for my existence. i barely talk to my friends and yet i always feel like im an annoyance to them. im unemployed and a financial burden to my parents. im so sorry for existing, not contributing, and taking up space and resources
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depression
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I’m ELLIOT. I came here to be, sort of a motivation of some kind. to inspire others who have what I’ve got, too. I want to tell you all a story — my story. it’s long, and it’s a lot, often times too much for me to handle, but there will never be enough words to explain that. so, here I go — it all began with HEMOPHILIA C. 4 years old, they told my parents I was 1/100,000. neither of them had the factor 11 deficiency, but I did. it was a rarity. as life went on, I started having more problems. around the age of ten, mental disorders started presenting. nobody could find out what the source of my pain was, and so, dismissed it as ANXIETY. from ten to thirteen, I was diagnosed with a handful of things. GENDER DYSPHORIA (FTM), DEPRESSION, OCD, and the most recent, BIPOLAR. I also have my share of PTSD from a recent s**cide attempt. anyways, as you can imagine, there were more things going on than that. a concussion at fifteen will change my life forever — I was taken to the ER to have an emergency MRI or internal bleeding, a precaution taken because of my bleeding disorder. thankfully, there was none. but, they found my golden glory — a CHIARI MALFORMATION. it was the cause of so many of these problems, an actual answer! it’s been back and forth between every specialist possible since, trying to uncover all of my bodies indescribable secrets. psychiatrist/therapist (diagnosed with previously mentioned disorders), neurosurgeon (had decompression surgery, and am preparing for another next month), cardiologist (diagnosed with IST), rheumatologist (diagnosed with AMPS, EDS), endocrinologist (diagnosed with HYPOTHYROIDISM), GI (diagnosed with GERD, IBS, lactose intolerance), and I believe that’s it (“that’s it” haha)! the past year has been experimental with medication. after my attempt, my health has finally been taken a but more seriously. I have a happy, healthy home and support system, and managed to convince my doctors to help me start a medication cleanse. these past few days with the freedom from a dozen pills a day has been the best I’ve felt since the incident. I’ve been walking more, feeling myself get stronger again after my breakdown. I’m having scar tissue from my EDS removed from the decompression site soon. my intrusive thoughts are dying out. the impulsions that almost killed me are under my control now. I’ll be starting testosterone after my 18th birthday. I’m finding the right medications that work for me. I have learned to love all of me, and am becoming the person I never thought I would, but always knew I was. things are getting better with time, even if it was a lot of it. I’m on my way — you’ll get there, too. keep going. please. you can do it 🤎
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OCD
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