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I will be busy doing something and suddenly out of nowhere an illusionary sad thought mostly about a messed up future hits me and that's it I get lost for a while and lose interest in the things I have been doing.
Sometimes I dodge it and sometimes it gets me good and makes me very sad, I blame myself more for the things I have been doing that can effect my future and how I am messing it up with my own hands.
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depression
|
I love when she's over, but it's so hard. I can't help but keep track of everything she and I have touched and spend the remainder of the day after she leaves cleaning.
I don't want to but I can help it. I haven't had a strong relationship with someone since my OCD went full force, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. I don't want to need to clean everything but I'm not sure how to not freak out about it. I feel like my everything is dirty and I can't stop. She's unknowingly forced me to do a lot of ERP and it makes me feel like I'm losing my mind. It helps, but still I
feel I'm in constant stress from OCD now.
Any tips, tricks or advice?
Thanks all
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OCD
|
My traumaverssary is coming up and I am finding myself getting more and more irritable. I am tired and I am sad and I am trying really hard to avoid memories but the yearly countdown is almost over and it’s just getting harder to cope.
I have a hard time recognizing which thoughts and irritations are real and which are heightened because I’m not myself in October. Is this an issue with anyone else?
Anyways, 18 more days before the timer resets and I can be as close to normal as I am these days.
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ptsd
|
It's almost been a month since my diagnosis, and ever since I found out about special interests, I kept wondering how I know the difference. Are there like any qualifications for that? How does it work?
Thanks in advance!
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aspergers
|
So my son is having a terrible time getting to sleep these days. He’s alright once he’s asleep but it’s always 10:30 before he finally gets there. He always needs me to stroke him or hold his hand or whatever. He also needs to have music and do meditation (these sometimes have mixed results) but he said it’s like a continuous train of thoughts. If I let him, he would talk all night about a massive range of stuff.
In the mornings, I have a really hard time getting him up now too. I don’t know if it’s “not enough sleep” or it’s his condition and he just “can’t get up”
He sleeps from 10-10:30 through to 6:30-7am.
He’s 11. Is this not enough sleep? I feel like he must be tired? Or is it just his condition and him lacking the ability to focus to get up, dress, eat etc. he’s almost in year 7 and will be off to high school next year.
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ADHD
|
So I'm 19 years old, male.
Thunderstorms make me really anxious and sad/depressed. I had a traumatic event when I was a kid during a thunderstorm and now everytime i hear/see thunder i get really anxious. My breathing gets fast and i feel like a pit in my stomach (kinda like when you are falling on a rollercoaster, but not fun at all.) I feel really bad for my girlfriend because I get really difficult and emotional. I know she understands, but i still feel bad for it and try to keep it together but sometimes I just can't. Any advice?
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ptsd
|
I was supposed to be reliving my trauma again but my therapist asked how I was doing and I just broke down. For the first time in a few months, I actually just let myself feel and cry.
Then she said we definitely couldn’t be reliving because I was in no fit state to add any more stress to my day.
We spoke about what’s been going on with me and in my head for 30 minutes and I told her how I’ve not been sleeping because I haven’t had my sleeping pills because I have been struggling to go to/contact the doctors. The she called them for me and requested my prescription and for it to also be a repeat prescription which my doctor has been refusing for 6 months.
I’m so excited to actually get to sleep for the ‘night’ before 9am and feel so much better for having let it all out. I’m so grateful that my therapist helped me out so much even though it’s not part of her responsibilities.
I am exhausted now but I feel a bit better than I’ve been feeling for the past 3 weeks.
Thanks for reading. 💕✨
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ptsd
|
Hi everyone!
First, this subreddit is amazing and has really helped show me how significant ADHD is and how much it has affected my work (and personal) life.
I have been coming to terms with, and trying to get a diagnosis with ADHD over the last month. I recently started a new job in management consulting after completing my PhD and recognise how much time-blindness, distractions, and poor attention to detail is hindering my progress.
I have explained that I think I have ADHD to my manager and that I am trying to get a diagnosis. They invited me to sit down with them and explain what I struggle with: I said that time management, focus, and attention to detail seem to be the most appropritate problems to the workplace and things seemed to be going down well. Since then, I have gotten some negative feedback relating to these problems and have been told to fix this in the next two months. I explained that I don't think I can just fix these issues without help but have been told that as I don't have a diagnosis there is nothing they can do.
I would like to know if anyone has any advice for this situation and if I am legally protected even though I don't have a formal diagnosis yet (the NHS waiting list is over a year, I'm trying to organise doing it privately).
I see that this job may not be suited to how my brain works, but I would like to continue until I find something more appropriate rather than be pushed out.
|
ADHD
|
Throwaway because I think this might be mildly weird, and my ADHD and anxiety combo is likely inflating how weird I think it is.
I am in the middle of getting assistance and medication for ADHD, and of the research I have seen, using stimuli such as a weighted blanket can help one sleep better. This is not about a weighted blanket though, but something about what I do makes me wonder if my equivalent has helped before?
I wanted to say this because I wonder if there may be people struggling and having issues and this could help as an idea. I just hope it isn't as weird as I am worrying about, lol
I use a morphsuit, or a zentai, as a set of pajamas. This is a full body spandex thing from (how I wear it) neck to toe. I have found that the close nature of the fabric has had similar benefits to me that a weighted blanket does by providing pressure all over and making serotonin. It has helped with my anxiety too though for similar reasons. I tried weighted blankets, but those just felt like a giant hand being restrictive (I move around a lot in my sleep) so I've found the morphsuit to be an equivalent benefit.
I think it's weird because, err... my research has lead me to see that this is used for fetish activities, and that is 100% NOT something I feel when wearing this. That's partially why this is on a throwaway account, because the association is embarrassing.
Anyway, this came about a few years ago when I fell asleep in a morphsuit Halloween costume and I found that it made me feel better in the aforementioned weighted blanket benifets. \^\^;
Anyway, I just wanted to pass that on and see if this could help out.
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ADHD
|
I no longer remember how I resolved an intrusive thought. I know we should just ignore them etc.... But has this ever happened to you?
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OCD
|
Can you develop PTSD just by going through extreme relationship problems while being borderline and psychotic mixed manic?
It's just that I feel like from that moment my life is centered on this brutal moment which I can barely even remember. But it wasn't a one day breakup, it was a miserable, lengthy torture. With everything being hopeful one day, and a very brutally put goodbye the next for about a month. Also the reasons behind the breakup cut me deeply. Feels like almost everything that caan lead to my suicide was in that month.
Note that I have BPD with severe abandonment issues and Bipolar that were mixing during this period.
During my hospitalization my psychological evaluation stated traumatic and posttraumatic signs. My therapist also says that this moment could have hit me hard enough to cause long term problems.
I am having flashbacks and extreme irritability and anger when something reminds me of the details of this period and I am becoming more sensitive to abandonment. Also all my psychoses most often are associated with this event.
The event was 6 months ago and it is starting to come out stronger now. This is what sparked my transition into full blown bipolar symptoms.
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ptsd
|
i recently sought out testing for ADD only last month and i feel like i’m not gonna be able to get into many colleges at all and i feel like such a failure. i know it doesn’t have to be the next thing in my life but i wanna go to become an architect and i feel like shit because i feel like i do have ADD but it’s like i can finally fix myself and get things done and j be functioning fine but like what good is it now if i’m applying to colleges in my senior year with a 3.3 gpa. it’s really frustrating. one college i was looking at was cooper union but i didn’t realize how selective it was and most people who are going towards architecture in general i feel have a significantly better gpa. i have decent extracurriculars but i’ve done a lot of work in them and i know i’ll get one really good recommendation but is that any good? i j feel kinda dumb even tho i know i’m not but i can’t do much anymore to better my situation. can anyone offer any insight, especially if u were in a similar situation?
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ADHD
|
I have a physiatry appointment in a couple weeks to test me for inattentive ADHD. I am very anxious about getting diagnosed as in I WANT to be diagnosed, so that my issues will finally have an answer lol but I meet all the DSM criteria from my POV and my doctor was the one who suggested I get tested.
My question is, how fast is this process? If the physiatrist deems that I meet the criteria, what happens next? Will it just be "yep, ADHD, let's try giving you x medication" or is it a longer process?
It took me a month to make an appointment to CONFIRM that I should have a physiatry appointment and since then it has been a 3 month wait 😭 so I'm really tired of the waiting game at this point and just hope it's only one appointment
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ADHD
|
I’ve always felt I needed to keep complaining to a minimum. It should only be reserved for when I’ve done all that I can. Otherwise it’s just gibberish.
At some point I associated pain and pressure to results and positive change because it got me into Olympic try outs.
A good bit of my life I remained hard and accountable, never complaining. But I knew if I kept at it I’d be the me I’d always wanted to be. I applied pressure and pain to my emotions to do that.
Fast forward and I’m still having trouble talking, making friends.
Early in my new therapist sessions I asked them to challenge me because don’t like the idea of being validated all the time.
So she did... We agreed that I don’t complain enough. I never processed shit because I felt that if didn’t do all that I could I didn’t have the right to complain.
Complaining just turned out to be people expressing themselves.
I had plenty to be depressed about but I locked that shit down because it was “complaining”. I never felt anything, never processed so it came out in anger, sadness, passive aggressiveness, and they were all expressed rarely, but in extreme ways.
Then came the day that It came out physically. I lost my ability to walk straight, extreme fatigue (16 hour sleep days), extreme sensitive to heat, bed ridden with symptoms for about 6 months. Symptoms lasted 2 years.
I just sigh at the thought of knowing that I could’ve cried when I needed to, expressed fear and sadness when people were fatally harmed, told my mother I was scared.
My times of crying and anger could’ve gone smoother if I’d only let others know about it. It’s like why would put myself through that kind of crap that only serves to increase my pain?
Feelings are a human thing and so is expression with other people, and other people needed if I want to feel better.
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depression
|
One of my more recent obsessions triggered, usually it's so severe that it makes me take a bath and put on clean clothes.
Tonight, however, I managed to hold back the compulsion to throw my clothes into the washer and I put them back after wiping them with a towel after the bath.
It's a small victory for me, I guess.
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OCD
|
People with aspergers contribute more than their fair share to advancing society, as researches, entrepreneurs and inventors.
Aspergers is often hereditary.
I know my kids will have it and their kids will too. But society likes to treat autistic people disrespectful because they're different.
Why should my bloodline contribute to the betterment of a world that mistreats the autistic?
Honestly my whole life, while learning about civil rights in school, I think, people are told not to hate on skin color but still hate the non neurotypicals.
Really. Despite the advances made in racial equality and gay pride, the non-nuerotipical are still treated the same by society as we have been for 100 years, or worse.
So, why contribute kids that advance a world that hates them? The world hates you if you're autistic and if you really wanna stick it to the world, cut them off from all benefits of a healthy relationship with aspies.
If you think aspies are a more evolved type of people, cut off humanity from evolving.
No more aspie rocket scientists. No more aspie surgeons. No more aspie tech workers. The world can be 100% neurotypical when I'm gone and figure out its problems on its own
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aspergers
|
Not sure if its common, but *do you all have some sort of struggle with reading in between the lines regarding emails?.. and also tend to say take 10-15 minutes interpreting a simple email?*
1. Like for example someone says "Okay Good",... after a job has taken a little while due to some technical issues, I don't know whether he is:
* Angry
* Sarcastic
* Neutral
**I then reply with "Thanks", he then rolls his eyes....**
...
Another example: A comment of "Good job" after a days work.
* Sarcastic
* Happy about performance
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aspergers
|
I had really bad violent intrusive thoughts for a couple days. They went away for a week then came back full force, so bad that I felt like I'd never be normal again and was crippled from fear. Now after some amount of days I feel ok again... thinking about how obsessed and scared I was just feels unreal to me. Remembering the episode doesn't even feel like remembering myself. Is this normal? I'm not officially diagnosed but I'm going to talk to a psychiatrist in a week. I just feel so whacked out, it's like I went from nearly losing my grip on reality to feeling 'ok' overnight. Which is then making me feel crazy in a whole different way and causing me to kind of obsess over what different mental illnesses I could have... albeit not on the level that the intrusive thoughts were. Just want some reassurance and advice.
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OCD
|
i’ve suffered from anxiety my entire life, but there’s always been “quirks” about me that have not completely fit the mold of general anxiety. after talking to my psychology professor, i think ocd may be a possibility. however because ocd is always presented so black and white by media im not sure if my “symptoms” (?) fit, or if these are just things i shouldn’t worry about. for starters i can’t slept if i recognize that my fingers or toes are touching, and i will get up multiple times to wash or moisturize my hands. if i don’t have specific things (a necklace, a hat that i always wear, a bouncy ball) with me on my person, i become very anxious and am certain my day is going to be bad or something bad is going to happen to me. sometimes if i recognize someone is touching me i am paralyzed with the need to scream or am overcome with unnecessary anger. i have always obsessively check to make sure i’ve locked doors, even if it’s a door that is not typically locked. and even if i just locked the door i will always go back a few times to make sure i didn’t just imagine me locking the door. i’ve always been a stickler about organization, especially with size arrangement and color coordination. i’m also a perfectionist in school to a fault so bad that multiple times i’ve had to sit down with my principal for her to (ironically) tell me to stop emotionally investing myself so much into the coursework. i’ve read about intrusive thoughts being a sign of ocd, which is something that i do experience, but i was under the impression that everyone experienced these. if so, what’s the differentiation? i can go on for days but i know a lot of these things can just be chalked up to general anxiety and hypertension so im not sure. and i know this is already too long but im hoping someone can help shed some light on this. thank you.
- i will also go to a clinical psychologist or something but i just wanted some general feedback beforehand
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OCD
|
I won't write too much here but whenever I have a crush on someone I always get jealous of her. Like about everything. It makes me insecure and shit. It's extremely complicated
I want to be completely alone, I don't want to fantasise on someone that can't be mine. I had enough of this already. I tried to forget but I simply can't. I wish our brains are like computers where you can factory reset and start over and pretend nothing ever happened.
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depression
|
most days things dont feel real.. and it can take about half the day for my brain to finally catch up. it happened today and i had a flashback after i caught up and its leaving me exhausted, im currently in a job and this has been starting to happen at work.. disasociating, feeling the day isnt real, and i have to work with customers.. and its getting hard, i stumble over my words and have trouble forming sentences sometimes.
it makes it very hard to work and do anything
i want the day to feel real.. i want things to feel normal.. the days are hazy. i literally had a a amazing day yesterday but its hazy and i felt so out of it the whole day..
lack of sleep.. and all these things..
any advice?
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ptsd
|
Question. What helps with rejection sensitive dysphoria? I realize that a lot of my meltdowns and flip outs on my partner are when I get some type of criticism from hm (even if it is totally just and said in a calm and respectful way.). I would really like to work on this and plan to talk to my therapist about it. Anyone got any tips or experience similar?
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ADHD
|
Just this year 2021 I went on vacation across the country, bought a car, got a new job, lost 40 lbs, and got my first apartment and absolutely none of it beats the feeling. I still feel so empty, hopeless, worthless, just blank. I still feel nothing. No matter what "accomplishments" or steps I take to better my life, none of it works. I started with a new therapist recently, the 2nd this year and 7th overall, and none of it helps.
Everyone says I have to take action to change my situation and I have, I've fought hard as hell and made huge changes. Nothing fills the void, ever. I could make a million lifestyle changes nothing helps. I could fight a thousand times harder then a thousand times harder again it's impossible to feel any better.
I find myself lately with passive suicidal thoughts coming back and I thought I was fine and not wanting to end my life anymore but it's creeping back in just like it always does. Whether I do nothing and lie in bed for a year or work my ass off for a year I feel exactly the same if not worse the harder I try. What's the point?
If i can push so hard and make such dramatic "positive" changes, go to therapy diligently, exercise, eat right, get enough sleep, etc etc etc and still wish I didn't exist then I think it's impossible to ever not feel that way. Either I spend the next 60+ years wishing I had killed myself or at some point actually do it.
|
depression
|
Edit: I don't even know if I have an official diagnosis floating around in some database, I was just given a script lol
Hi all,
I got my first fill of dexamphetamine and it's my first day on them (5mg, 3/day). I felt so calm, except for my increased heart rate which sorta scared me and dry mouth and blahh. It was so weird to be that calm for so long without having this tension/restlessness in me and wanting to initiate doing the backlog of shit I need to do.
I felt so cheated though cause if that's what NT people operate like 24/7 then wtffff why does the brain do this so I had a nice cry lol.
Also I was given the script by a neurologist who evaluated ADHD but didn't specialise cause I literally could not wait till next year for a psychiatrist if I don't want to fall even more behind on uni and general functioning.
He felt very dismissive though throughout the 20-30min ish appointment. He legit asked me straight up why I was there and I blanked lol then he handed me the DSM and was like 'ok, are you like this?' and I was Pikachu face so I asked for more context and he went through it with me eventually despite being quite vague in explanations which I struggled with lol. To note: he only read out the inattentive part of the DSM for ADHD and then he was like 'ok we put you on meds' and handed me a script and nothing else and told me to come back in 2 months. No asking for my opinion on how I wanted to be treated just shoved the script into my hands.
I'm so scared he was just done with people coming in for ADHD evaluations and assumed that I wanted stimulants to use as a study or party drug - sorta fed into my imposter syndrome lol. I felt no relief in receiving the prescription, just mad that that was all he did and he didn't really ask me properly how my symptoms manifested and fucked me over. He didn't bother either with informing me about dosages and all that good stuff like the possibility of my symptoms being another condition but masquerading as ADHD which I have concerns about.
I'm based in Canberra, AUS btw just for context. We have a horrible shortage of psychs and wait times are ridiculous
|
ADHD
|
I am 99% sure I have both aspergers and ADHD, but I don't have many desires in life, and I don't usually feel strong emotions. I don't know if this is because I'm depressed, but I don't think so, because I don't usually feel depressed. I'm bored more often than not and that's like the only thing I feel strongly. It's been this way for like 3 or 4 years but when I was younger it wasn't like this at all.
It started after I was severely bullied 2 years in a row so I thought it was just depression (and I was definitely depressed and I was suicidal back then) but I haven't been bullied since then and I haven't considered suicide since then either and that was 7th grade, I'm a junior in high school now.
The main thing is empathy: I don't usually feel a lot of empathy in situations that I should, sometimes even when someone I really care about loses a relative or something else tragic. I don't have much of a desire to have relationships with people in my class, even though I feel like I want to have more friends and my classmates are mostly nice people. I've never dated anyone and I've only had one crush. I can't cry over anything anymore. The last time I cried was when my dog died and actually, that made me feel depressed and miserable but that's the only time I've ever had a big tragedy in life. I really loved that dog. I am mostly over it now.
Does anyone have advice for how I can feel more like a human being and actually get something out of life?
|
aspergers
|
Reading your struggles and how much you bash yourselves due to ADHD has made me realise I do the same to myself, except I didn't have the kindness towards myself as I did with OPs who are strangers. So thank you for making me realise that I deserve to be kind to myself as much as I bash.
I just submitted an essay early even though a few days ago I was giving myself grief for not starting weeks earlier, knowing how I might leave things to last minute again. But today I remembered to be kind to myself and let myself finish it in my own time. And even with my obsession over the same sentences and little details that won't change the meaning, I managed to leave enough time to edit, and I am actually proud of my writing!
(fighting not to over-edit this)
|
ADHD
|
I'm 49. Have had a lot go on recently, can't even list it all. I know how depressed I am, but I just had this realization that I have no idea who I am. I have no idea where to go from here. I'm tired of crying, thinking, hiding, feeling so worthless and lost. I'm at war with myself on so many fronts, and not sure how to advance. The deletion option never seemed possible, as I have custody of 3 of my grandchildren-how bad would it affect them??? This morning I realized how little my absence would effect 2 of them. I am not who I thought I was to them. Or to other loved ones. I can't get my thoughts and feelings straight. Not sure if I can. I dont want sympathy?? Not sure what it is I want. Or need. At 49, I ought to know who I am. This NSSI at my age is ridiculous, I know!! But honestly it is calming. I don't want this. I just want me to be me, but I don't like me, or know who "me" is. Hope this isn't as disjointed as my thought processes usually are.
|
depression
|
Is it something you want to do… or an itch to do it? Or heightened anxiety?
|
OCD
|
(15M) well , i am suffering from so-ocd (ocd on sexual orientation) for a few months after recovering from an rape ocd , tocd and others and i was analyzing my past and i believe i have some moments that can be considered ocd but i want to a second opinion.
I was very afraid of losing people I love and I literally spent the whole day ruminating on things like it would be if my parents died , what my life would be like if I could take it and even calculate how many years they would live or how long I still had with him (?) I researched people who had lost their parents and even planned my life for when it happened even though I had no reason to risk it. Well it made me very depressed but i was wondering if this could be an ocd theme considering that most of my themes are of a sexual nature or another problem.
|
OCD
|
The other day, I [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/r63z16/looking_for_support_not_doing_so_well/?) here because I thought I had severe inattentive adhd. Saw my doc today. She says it’s not ADHD, it’s severe depression & hopefully, they’ll get me in with a psychiatrist some time next week. I can’t wait that long. I can’t go to the hospital because my son doesn’t have anywhere to go. I knew this was going to happen. I knew I’d have to wait. I can’t. I can’t do this all by myself. I haven’t stopped crying. I DO NOT want to die. I just can’t do this anymore.
|
ADHD
|
Sometimes I don’t know if something is ADHD based or my personal experience, so I was curious if anyone else has experienced this:
Do you struggle with short term memory loss but have great long term memory?
I remember things back from when I was 4-5 years old, as well as random details like what I was wearing when I met my first boyfriend 5 years ago, or my kindergarten play dates, and all sorts of conversations.
But…I’m always forgetting where I put my phone, what day it is, my appointments, etc.
I know short term and long term memory are in different parts of the brain, but i still find it interesting how short term memory can be so affected while my long term is actually enhanced, almost as an overcompensation. It doesn’t make sense to me yet, but I will look into it for sure.
Has anyone experienced this too?
EDIT: I also wanted to add I have my own way of remembering things. for example, when my boyfriend asked me when we last bathed our dog I knew it was Nov. 1st because I remember wanting to bathe him before Halloween but I had some last minute costume shopping to do and I ran out of time before our Halloween party. The party sucked and we left early and sober. Since we were sober, we didn’t have a hangover the next day and thus had the energy to bathe our squirmy pup.
|
ADHD
|
Since a few years now i am struggling.
Especially with nightmares.
I tried medication and therapy but nothing really made it better.
​
The last official bastion was quetiapine.
My sleep was not great, but i had some kind of sleep.
The dosages got higher and at some point my liver couldn\`t handle it.
​
After months of sleeping just every second night, feeling like slowly going mader and mader
i, as a final straw used cannabis.
and thank some godly existence it let me sleep.
But no therapist wanted to treat me anymore.
The cost slowly made me broke.
The illegality gave me a criminal record.
​
When i talked with "friends" about my problems, they at first told me they would help me
but at the end, nothing happened.
when asked, i got excuses, that they didnt take me seriously
and thought i was "not honest"
​
i can't really keep a job that would pay well enough.
can't get any help from any institution, doctor or friends
​
and the fought of just ending it, just gives me relaxation
​
i want to live a okayish life, but i feel like having no more options
i called,wrote and met a lot of people in the last years,
where i asked and begged
but only got the options of trying all the options i have already tried
and this just draines me of my energy
​
to know the only options i am given are medication that will have some disgusting sideffects
ranging from diarhea to coma like status to hallucinations
​
i just feel trapped in a world where the most "nice" option is, just to end it
|
ptsd
|
Has anyone ever worked with a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist who specifically specialized in ADHD, and if so, what was your experience? I love my psychologist but sometimes I just need more specific solutions to my issues and she has a more overarching approach. Just curious if anyone had a good experience.
|
ADHD
|
I (25M) have been in college for a minute, and I’m towards the end of it, but it’s gotten so hard to focus and do my school work. I took varying medications for ADHD throughout grade school, with Vyvanse being one I took the longest. I stopped taking them about five years ago, but college has been difficult. What’s my best route to get a new prescription? I want to be able to focus better in class. I’ve tried all the “helps focus” tricks and stuff, but stuff keeps falling through the cracks, and I want to finish school by any means necessary.
|
ADHD
|
I tried talking to my trauma therapist about how I feel I've overcome my ptsd but he says I haven't, I still have to much of a reaction. I just feel so defeated. I had a miscarriage about three and a half years ago causing flashbacks, nightmares and made my blood phobia worse. I couple of months ago I had a realization that my little Daisy is totally separate from my miscarriage. I can still grieve her without getting triggered by the actual medical procedure of miscarrying. Since then I haven't had flashbacks or nightmares, at least not about that. I thought I was doing so well I'm my treatment and it just feels like three steps back.
|
ptsd
|
So with my ADHD, I have overactive imagination. My medication wears off in the evening so my brain is normally really active in the late night early morning. I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping cause I keep hearing small creaks and other noises, I keep seeing things, and I generally get really nervous and frightened cause I think either my house is haunted or someone is in the house. I’ve been up since 2am this morning thanks to it and so I really would like to figure out a way to calm this down, I’ve tired meditation and it didn’t work. Tips, tricks, suggestions, anything works
|
ADHD
|
And it’s not just coming up with good lies. Lies are the fool’s option. It’s full on mental calculus to retcon the narrative with something true enough that you don’t get caught in lies you’ll never be able to remember anyway.
I realized the overdevelopment of this at lunch when a friend was asking for good excuses for missing a deadline and I went too deep in “you can’t say X, cause that means person Y will then expect Z. If you tell Z option 2, then they could talk to person Q. But if you do option 3 then that will make them wonder about last week…” And others’ reactions made it clear that other people aren’t overthinking all this the same way.
|
ADHD
|
My whole life I've failed at everything. I'm literally stupid ass piece of shit who can't do anything right. I don't know why I exist. I literally am the biggest loser you will ever meet
|
depression
|
Hi everyone, I know I’m not the only person here who experiences increased swearing as a side effect from my Ritalin prescription, I have a few other side effects that suck but this current dosage has been as much as I need with as few side effects as possible (lower dosages had fewer side effects but weren’t as effective etc)
Anyhow, I know that for many with this issue Dri is the tried and trusted solution, so I tried it myself and ran into another problem
Asides from ADHD I also have dry skin, whatever lots of people do it’s not a big deal HOWEVER Dri works /too/ well for me and causes irritation. Does anyone have an anti perspirant similar but WEAKER to dri?
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ADHD
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I'm terrified to ask this, but are obsession based on inner desires or something like that? Or is the fear of those obsession becoming true one day fueling this sensation of anticipation and uncertainty?
Idk if that's reassurance seeking or not, it's just some question that popped into my mind and made me wonder.
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OCD
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I'm currently sitting in the doctors reception office anticipating a biopsy on a nasty ugly little mole thats becoming not so little.
Not too concerned, thats not really something to panic about, but it would be kinda dumb to continue on without making appropriate changes.
I cannot stand sunscreen, of any type. It is a terrible sensation and it does not last long enough. Not to mention application ... I've been single most of my life and even if I'm camping with family i don't enjoy being touched even if it's to help me out. So, foolishly, i usually go without it and take my chances.
Has anybody conquered this issue?
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aspergers
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i dont even know why. i think im a good person. im kind and caring and considerate and i always do my best to be the best person that i can. i think im pretty funny and i can be fun to be around, but still, nobody is ever very interested in me for very long. every time i meet someone who seems to like me, they stop after a little while. ive only had one serious relationship that lasted very long and im 32 and i found out shortly after it ended that she resented me from pretty nearly the beginning.
i just want so desperately to feel loved, to be special to someone, and i feel like i never will be. nobody will ever love me. i dont know why, but i know that they wont.
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depression
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I literally cannot get a full erection since starting Strattera. I heard some side effects resolve themselves a while after titration is done and levels are consistent (im currently at 60mg, was at 40mg last week and will be going up to 80mg next week)
This is of course a deal breaker side effect if it doesn't resolve itself. Does anyone have any experience with this? Did it go away? Should I try something else or wait it out and see.
Thanks
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ADHD
|
My son is 12. He was diagnosed with aspergers when he was 6. He has always had a hard time connecting with classmates or making friends. I fear the negative consequences of telling him about his condition. There must be positives about knowing and understanding ones own mindset? Do I tell him? How do I tell him? Is this something a therapist should do? He starts middle school soon and I know that’s gonna be hard on him. He’s on a different social wave length and maybe knowing that can help? Guidance is greatly appreciated.
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aspergers
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I saw a really interesting tik tok the other day where the OP said that he hates when folks says that he’s battling depression ( or when he says it himself). He’s not battling depression, depression is winning and that really struck a chord with me.
I’ve become a master at sensing when I’m about to enter a major depressive episode. Can I even call it that seeing as this ‘period’ my life has been going on for over a decade?
The point is, I don’t think I’ve won in this battle between my depression and I. Whenever I’ve felt like I’m healing, it’s always felt like a facade. The joy, happiness and momentary peace i thought I felt with friends/ family etc feels like it has all been a charade. Have I ever been happy? I can’t tell anymore. I can’t seem to unmoor the old me ( whoever she was) from this version of myself.
My sense of self is hazy, I don’t really understand who I am. Am I as kind as others say, as loving as caring as driven? All these statements never seem to stick and they always seem like falsehoods.
I look to my family and friends who I think I know love me, but I don’t feel the love? I can’t describe it other than how when seals get wet the water never truly gets absorbed it haha sort of glides. That’s what love etc feels like for me.
When I’m in this state I cannot stomach the pressure of my existence. I cannot stomach the idea of performing day and day out. I’m so happy I say.
I sometimes think about just erasing everyone from my life. If I just close my eyes for a second and open them they’ll hopefully be gone. I feel pressured, mentally, to be good enough to receive the love that people give me so freely. Who would want to love me in this state? Who would choose to love me regardless? I cannot bare the thought of not being able to live up to the expectations that those I love have for me. I feel suffocated. I feel caged. How do I untangle myself from this mess and live more freely?
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depression
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Just curious about others experiences w/ meds. I’m struggling a bit. Thank you.
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ptsd
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So I've realized these last few days that now that I'm properly medicated (20mg of Adderall XR) I am capable of focusing on tasks, but my inability to tear myself from my computer is still there. I want to do something but I always find something to click on next.
I've got my book next to me and I'm capable of reading it, I know I am, I've been able to do so with zero difficulty and it used to be I had no ability to enjoy books because the words just melted into a pile, I'm very happy I can now. Starting, however, remains a nightmare and I think that's why I convinced myself the adderall wasn't working after the initial rush of starting.
I was wondering if anyone had tips for that so I'm not losing hours before I start something. Even now that I know the rational answer for why those hours slip by, I still get pangs of guilt.
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ADHD
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I wouldn’t know what that’s like. Like yes I go to social gatherings with different church groups. But I’m almost out of trade school now and I still haven’t dated anyone and I haven’t been in a relationship with someone. And I’ve been praying a lot for that. But I just feel so different, and it’s hard to imagine someone loving me. I just always feel like I somehow don’t belong socially with whatever group I’m in. All the social stuff is confusing and girls are confusing, sometimes I feel so stupid when I see people around me getting married and having kids and then I’m over not even able to get a date. I’m honestly just kind of done with putting myself out there. I’ve kind of given up on the idea that I’ll find someone, it just doesn’t seem likely. I feel like I’m so different than other guys, who could love someone like me? But if you have aspergers and you have found your person in life, then please tell me about it so that I can understand how it feels to succeed at this stuff in life. I feel like it’ll never happen to me.
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aspergers
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There’s so much bad shit in the world. Covid, natural disasters, mental illnesses, disease. I don’t mean to trigger anyone. I’m sorry if I do.. but what’s really the point. Yes I know for the ✨experience✨ but what if all you experience is suffering. Is my high expectations on finding happiness & peace causing me to only focus on the negative. Why does it even have to be like that. I know my purpose.. but fuck. All I see is bad shit. Even tho I’m grateful for things. Life is just so much suffering. What’s really the point. What’s really the why.
Once again I apologize if I triggered anyone. I love you all. Just wanted to vent.
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depression
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I hate myself and I'm sick of being myself. I hate how weak I am. I always give up when things get hard. I'm petty and I always feel sorry for myself. I get pissy when people don't pay attention to me and give me sympathy. I want to be treated with kid gloves. I want asspats. I want to be enabled. I don't have faith in my ability to make decisions or to improve myself.
People always say that, in the end, you can only rely on yourself. You have to make the choice to get better. "Can't" just means "won't."
So fine then. I won't. I will always make the choice to do what's easy. I will act spiteful and mean towards anyone who won't tell me what I want to hear. I will feed my own self-pity and self-loathing, because it feels comfortable, because I'm too weak-willed to get any better.
I want to get better. But I don't want to make an effort. Effort is hard. So I'm going to sit here like a helpless little baby and suck on my pacifier and throw tantrums.
I can't do this anymore.
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OCD
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I started wearing headphones around in public about a week ago and oh. My. God. My life is so much better. I was constantly tense, stressed, and distracted when going out without even realizing it. I really just thought that's how you're supposed to feel. But now I wear headphones and feel so much better without all the background noise. Sometimes I'll lift them off for just a second to see how loud it is, and it blows my mind that I actually survived these first 20 years of life without headphones. If you never have give it a try!
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aspergers
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I am reading a book thats called “The body keeps the score - Brain, Mind and Body in the healing of Trauma” and it really help me to get a better, deeper understanding about how Cptsd affects me and what processes happen in my brain chemistry due to the trauma. It gave me a new better vocabulary to explain my issue and a deeper insight. I highly recommend it to anybody suffering Ptsd or CPTSD.
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ptsd
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I have sexual intrusive thoughts and I’ll try to explain how it does this
-Sexual intrusive thoughts appear
-Questions whether I like
OCD: “Well maybe you don’t like it maybe you just find it aesthetically pleasing”
Me: “Yeah that’s true maybe it’s just that”
Me: “Wait no I don’t I don’t like this in any way shape or form”
OCD: “I’m afraid it’s too late, you already agreed to what I said of your own will, can’t take it back now, either fully like the thoughts or accept that you find it aesthetically pleasing, you agreed to it”
Me: “I didn’t know what I was thinking”
OCD: “Well that has nothing to do with me, those are your choices”
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OCD
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Are you on stimulants for your ADHD and also bad at remembering to drink water like me?
Then Dehydration could be your unsuspected enemy!
I’ve been on Adderall on 15mgs twice a day since this summer. When I started my meds, it was during a time where I was drinking a lot of water consistently. I recently got a puppy in October and my healthy habits with water have slipped. I felt my meds weren’t working as well, so my doc upped my dose to 3 times a day with the Adderall IR.
After starting the 3 doses a day, it felt like my meds weren’t even working as well as when I was just doing two! That makes no sense. I started having other issues like occasional dizzy spells, headaches, and some fatigue. My anxiety has also been high as well as my irritability!
I thought the extra dose a day had caused it. Well it did, but not directly.
I remembered that ADHD stimulants dehydrate you like there’s no tomorrow. It’s bad enough if you don’t drink water, but to not drink water then take stimulants is a recipe for absolute disaster with your hydration.
This week I started being intentional about chugging my water, and it’s like starting my Adderall for the first time all over again. My mood is consistently chipper again, and my anxiety is back to where it normally is.
The moral of the story: if you think your meds aren’t working anymore or are causing you side effects, ask yourself if you’re drinking enough water because I promise you, it does make a difference!
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ADHD
|
My son was officially diagnosed with ADHD about 2 years ago. After trying other methods, such as behavioral therapy and going to the chiropractor, finally decided to try medicine. It has made a world of difference and it’s like night and day. We still do bi weekly therapy sessions.
My sons dad was not in his life during this time. When I finally told him he was on medication he did not agree. He had to take Ritalin when he was younger and views it as harmful rather than helpful. My son goes to his dads every other weekend, and the past 2 weekends I could tell he didn’t get his medicine. I told him he needs to give it to my son, it’s doing him a disservice if he doesn’t get it. So finally this past weekend he gives it to him, but when he brings him home he tells me this story and at the end he says ADHD isn’t real. Shortly after he leaves. So then I have to do damage control and tell my son that ADHD is real, and his dad doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
I feel like this is a losing battle. My sons dad doesn’t take his own mental health seriously, I guess I can’t expect him to take anyone else’s mental health seriously.
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ADHD
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I am really happy, I can just listen to music in the bus without going deaf. I can focus on my study even though our dog barks when my parents are almost home. I can sit in a classroom when doing work and not be overwhelmed by voices further away in the room. I also can sit in the canteen of school without losing energy.
Also, even when it's silent around me, if I put them on without music, it will give a really comforting white noise like soft rain.
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aspergers
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So a recent breakup has been killing me and one way I’ve been snapping out of the constant obsession and daydreaming of what could’ve been, I switch out these thoughts with fantasies about the future where I am successful and where I see myself individually. And min by min I’m less anxious and less down about it or cry. I get less obsessive over it every sec of the day.
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ADHD
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I'm just afraid I'm not interesting enough and also I feel so weird texting like when does a conversation end I feel so awkward. It gives me mad anxiety I've ghosted friends for months. I thought of forcing myself to reply but just the thought of it makes me so anxious I can't bring myself to achieve it. Has anyone found a solution to this? Maybe CBT? I'm in therapy already btw
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ptsd
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⚠️ TW!!
Ok, lifelong story made very short. When I was a child. I didn’t have the best of parents. A mom that is a psychopath, sorry for all of us. no one knew that back then. And now it’s gone so far with her.
And a father, who have done so many horrible things to me, both psychologically and physically(not anything sexually!! Ever!) And it happed a lot. I was also the oldest of my siblings. So I felt it was my duty to guard them from whatever that was going to happen that night. I have locked most of the memories of that happening in a box buried so deep I have truble opening it again. But what I never forget is those eyes my father got when he got to that point where it went black for him. And after that, Jesus I could just hope that I would survive today aswell. And he’s voice changed.
Me and my father are having a few bears at a friends of his place. We where siting and chatting about nothing in particular, and all I could think of was the feeling I had. I finally had a relationship with my dad that made this possible. It’s amazing how life can turn upside down in a few moments. What happened next I only remember pieces. But I’ll try to make this a easy reading.
I can’t describe it, but seeing my father getting that same look on his face and that voice. I had even forgotten that his voice changed. But there it came, it started to building up in his eyes. Well I say building up because I’ve seen this a million times before. I knew exactly what was coming. So even tho this are happening in a few seconds it’s like time is standing still for me. When I look back at it I think I just froze because I was so terrified. I think the whole world stopped spinning. I’m telling you, me as a 27 year old male. Got all white and stone cold in his face, probably much like I’ve seen a ghost. Because that was exactly what I saw!! I saw my father and those eyes so filled with rage he can’t control it!! And even his voice is changing now. It’s like I was traveling in time. I was 12 again.
And because I’m not that great at stories there was one very important part I left out. Back when I was a child maybe around 8-10 years old at the time I actually started to stand my ground sometimes when we had a falling out. And I noticed that the more angry I got, and the faster I got there. The easier I “won” that battle. So I based much of my fighting technique both with my father and others on this. It usually works very well. Because we have all seen that “psycho” dude in the movies coming at you like “I have nothing to loose dude, so I win either way” that mentality adopted I when I was fighting. And just let me tell you this, it works!! People got scared of me. Even boys twice my age. “Watch out there is that psyko kid. Ruuuuunnn!!”
The other day I learned that it wasn’t only to win, it was a defense mechanism I used when I got terrified. Not scared, but so fucking terrified that you tighten every single muscle in your body. And even time slows down. Well I have a insane temperament after those years. And “going black” is something I’m all to well familiar with. You can’t control anything, doesn’t matter if it’s Tyson you are mad at. But you go inn there and fight with nothing holding you back. It’s not even a muscle in your body that is afraid or are gonna talk you out of the fact that he’s Mike Tyson dude!! Play dead!! Or you will be knocked out so hard you might die anyways.
Anyways, back to my non linear story. Yea, my father had just snapped at his friend. And the feeling is indescribable. I’ve never had anything that can even try to describe the feeling I got. But as I finally “came to my senses” and tryes to reason with him. I told him “that’s enough” “ok dad we get that is is serious, but maybe you should take it another time” and the last ting I remember clearly from that evening is “dad enough!!!” Before I go full black as well. As this evolves I tell him that this isn’t acceptable behavior. And that we are leaving NOW!! But he doesn’t listens. And I can remember every time he takes his eyes of me and to that other person. I get even a bit more scared, for what he are going to put that person trough.
And its not often you see a grownup adult beein that afraid for a other person like I saw in her whole body. And seeing that person making itself smaller and smaller so my father would see that she was afraid. No that was it. NO ONE SHOULD EVER FEEL THAT KIND OF FEAR FROM SOMEONE YOU TRUST!!! And that’s when I snap like I haven’t snapped in YEARS! I can hear my voice and my body is pounding with adrenaline. I yell at him that is time for us to leave. And seeing all of this happening infront of my eyes in what u believe was seconds even that, but it felt like an eternity. And going trough the whole emotional spectrum, from a scared to death little child. To a grown man who is ready to die to protect those he love. all I do is that I go down to the boat we had been driving there. Even tho it’s dark outside I prepare the boat so we can leave. And yes, like I said I knew this “tactic” or response will make him obey me. And thanks god he did, I think I was just standing there and yelling at him to get some of my aggression out on him. He deserves it, but not everyone around. I hate what I become when I let that monster out. But now it had just happened for the first time in 12 ish years. And in front of people who didn’t deserve it.
After I get what’s on top of my chest out I know there isn’t much use in continue. So I just lets him know that I have the last word. Lets him off at our cabin and takes the boat out again. Because I know I can’t stay here, not with both of us like this. So I ended up drifting around in my boat, went to an island. And tryed to keep a fire going. But that isn’t as easy as it sounds when it’s been raining all summer. Anyways the weather got a lot worse, so I decided to go back to our cabin where I left my father that night 4 days earlier. And thx god he wasn’t there.
So yea, anyways this is the story of how I learned about one of my biggest triggers/defense mechanics. The one that I fear all the time, because I know it’s in there and it can escape anytime. A really good song that hit that feeling a long time ago is Skillet-Monster. Ever since I’ve heard that song for the first time, it’s been my song!
So what do you guys think? Am in the right street when I feel like it’s ptsd related? And yes, I am going to a braindocktor (I always forget the English word for it but you get it) when I get home again. It feels very important really after this experience.
Thank you so much if you have come this far and read the whole story! You are an awesome person for doing to! That’s all I’m asking, that my story will be heard by someone, anyone really!
Kristian [27]
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ptsd
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About four years ago I was diagnosed with ptsd. It was getting better the past two years but a couple of weeks ago I found something that brought a lot of memories back. It has affected me a lot and I feel like I'm back where I was four years ago. I'm in the middle of my exams (I'm in college) so I have to keep it together as much as I can. I have an appointment with my therapist on the 20th, there was no earlier moment available.
In the meantime I don't know who to talk to. My best friend who knows about my past is severely depressed right now so I don't want to bother him with this. I have other friends who know but I don't really want to talk to them about it. There's this girl I've known for a couple of years but we've gotten closer the past couple of months. I really want to talk to her about this but I'm not sure if I should. I don't know if we're at that stage of our friendship yet, I don't want to scare her off.
I don't even really know why I'm writing this post. I guess I just need to express these feelings somehow. This sucks, I really thought I was better.
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ptsd
|
I was really feeling good, happy, productive. I'd finally found a medication combo that helped. And then my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me and I have to move out of his house.
I was so excited to experience a winter with happiness! And now I'm scared this'll be the worst one, yet. I can't stop crying unless I've smoked some weed, but I don't want to be high all the time.
I'm so angry that he did this! I fell like he ripped this experience away from me!
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depression
|
There’s certain people, like friends and family, that are an exception to this, but generally do any of you dislike eating around others and/or get self-conscious when doing so? Or I it just a me thing?
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aspergers
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Hey, I had my diagnosis of aspergers since I was a young child and my main reason I was never able to I guess you can autistic I had to mask everything. Now I live with my boyfriend and I was wondering what do y’all to help with anxiety and everything, dealing with day to day life?
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aspergers
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I've never been suicidal like this before. I'm scared
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depression
|
I tried doing the research myself, but I can't find what I'm looking for. I want to get a watch to help manage my personal ADHD issues. All I need it to do is tell time, set timers, reminders, and take notes. All I could find are fitness trackers (which I don't care much about) and I couldn't confirm the features I needed were in any of the watches.
I would rather it be able to work without pairing to a phone, but if that's not an option, I have an Android.
If anyone knows anything about smart watches, I would appreciate your recommendations. Thank you!
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ADHD
|
Heading out to the bridge. I don't have anyone else to send this to.
The only thing that really matters in this world is how others view and treat you. How others view and treat you is tied to how you were born; your genetics, race, status, etc, determine if life is worth living.
I was born a weak willed, ugly, unintelligent, black, and most of all sad person. There's nothing I can do to change any of that, and the world has shown me that I am not valued, nor am I wanted.
I was sexually assaulted and riduclded as a young child. The effects of this still make it difficult to be intimate with anyone. My father was deported, I remember the cops dragging him out the car as he drove my brother and cousins to school, I remember my tears. I remember wailing at the door asking him to come back to me. I remember learning that it was legal and just what happened to him, he was an illegal immigrant. What happened to my family was just. I was wrong to cry over his arrest.
I was continually bullied throughout elementary and middle school. I was a weird sensitive kid, and I was a blemish. The kids we're right to take notice and hit and taunt me. I was beaten verbally and physically by my step-dad until I was in high school. I deserved what happened because I never spoke up for myself, I wasn't a victim, I was just weak. I still remember him kicking my brother to the wall, and beating him until he stopped crying. I remember him hitting me with the metal part of the belt and giving me lacerations. I remember the constant fear of being hit, I remember lying to "friends" and school officials about bruises and lacerations. I remember all of his demeaning words, it hurts that they ring true. It hurts that he was right; I did end up a failure.
I am constantly reminded whether online or in person that I am disliked and judged for factors outside of my control. I remember teachers, strangers, students, children adults, words and actions towards me. I remember my best friend calling me a nigger, I remember my online friends laughing that black people were statically dumber and more violent. I remember Hispanic kids and teens telling me that I wasn't one of them because I was half black. I remember reading online about how most countries despise us. There is no escape from my skin. There is no escape from my despair; the world is right to hate me.
I have no friends, and I don't have many educational prospects as I am unintelligent. Compared to most people I am utterly worthless, so I think the world's was right to drill this into me since I was a child. I am deserving of everything that happened to me over these 18 years.
As I out on my coat to go leap off a bridge, I think what hurts the most is that I do love this world. I remember so many things and people that made me smile. I love people so much, and I love having positive interactions. I love many people in my family, but I am OK with leaving them.
I guess I'm just tired, but it doesn't matter anymore because I am going to go to sleep forever.
Goodbye.
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depression
|
I can feel my pocd coming back and its terrifying me. Im already in a really bad place and if it fully comes back I dont want to live with it. I am going to kill myself if it fully comes back again. I'm so scared.
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OCD
|
I don't know if this is related to my OCD but oh imagine that all the people around me are angry and I imagine fights with them because I did something small wrong.
I imagine one of my neighbors telling me to get lost cuz it look like homeless person I clearly don't live here.
I imagine the waitress at the restaurant showing me out cuz I looked disgusting .
I imagine a mom in the store calling me pedophile because I laughed and smiled at her daughter.
This happens most of the time.
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OCD
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I've followed it for a few years and have found it really helpful. They go through tons of social scenarios (mostly focusing on celebrities and movies/TV) and how to respond to them, but not in a condescending way at all.
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aspergers
|
So I never considered that I had ADHD until the past year or so when multiple people have inferred that I do. I figure this is just because it's becoming more widely understood to be more than just little boys than can't sit still. I started to look into it and read about it and found that a lot of the symptoms do match up with my experience. I have a big ol' lack of object permanence (don't eat food in the fridge if it's in a drawer, leave clothes in the dryer for days, forget about clothes I have, forget to contact people I love), I'm just super forgetful in general (I have to write everything down or it gets forgotten), I always need additional stimulation / feels like I have a pretty consistent dopamine shortage (I eat for dopamine, I have to pair unstimulating activities with stimulating ones like eating or listening to music), I've historically been very very impulsive (spending money, making very regrettable choices), I have emotional outbursts where I just become very unreasonably angry, and I can never remember how I've felt in the past if it doesn't match how I feel currently. Also I have a history of heavy drinking and nicotine use / a very addictive personality.
So I decided to see about a diagnosis. I looked for specialists in my area and found one that takes my insurance. It took two months to get an appointment, but I finally did. He mostly asked me questions relating to the more traditional understanding of ADHD (Do I have a lot of excess energy? Did I struggle in school? My answers: No, I do not have a lot of excess energy. It kind of feels like the opposite. And I struggled in grade school because I did not find it stimulating, but I did well in college with the classes in my major because I did find them stimulating.) He ran cognitive tests on me and found that I scored pretty average on a lot of them, but very low in episodic memory. He says I likely have mild ADD, but that it doesn't seem to have affected me too terribly.
He prescribed me a two-week trial of Concerta, but he anticipates me not really needing it. We do not have another appointment scheduled--he said I can reach out to him to set another one up if I feel like the Concerta greatly improves things for me. Well it's day two, so I don't know if it's too soon to tell, but the last two days, I really have felt so much better. I don't feel like I need a break every hour during work, I feel like I can focus on things for a long time, I'm attentive to my job, I don't need extra stimulation via things like snacking. Yesterday I literally did everything I intended to--I did great at work, practiced drums, worked out, read a good bit... It was amazing. That never happens. I felt like I earned relaxation in the evening.
So what should I do? Should I make another appointment with him and try to get a long-term prescription? Are there any downsides to being on Concerta? Does it seem like he will brush off me wanting to get the prescription? What was this experience like for you / what advice do you have?
TL;DR: It doesn't seem like the doctor I saw thinks I really need medication, but he gave me a trial prescription and I feel like it's really helping. What advice do you have?
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ADHD
|
I think I might be obsessed with seeing coincidences, and thinking that they might not be. Things that really don't seem like they could be plausible coincidences and sometimes pertain to what I'm going through. They seem to stop for a while and then I notice a lot over a few days. Has anyone else had something like that?
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OCD
|
Was recently diagnosed with OCD after being referred to NHS psychological services in my city by my GP four times and knocked back each time so found a good psychologist I paid for instead cause I couldn’t wait any longer. She diagnosed me with depression and generalised anxiety which I’ve been diagnosed with since 17, and also OCD. One of my biggest obsessions is death. Of me dying and my family. I saw a therapist when I was 17 for this and I think he saw this as just a fear of dying and not what it was, an obsession. I’ve done a quick read through some posts and would love for those whose compulsions are mostly mental to reach out. My gran just died and I can’t lean on my mum anymore. She can’t cope with it anymore. My compulsions are really quite mild and mostly neutralising, or avoidance of the obsessions but I’m not an avoidant person in general which seems odd. That and counting and a weird spelling thing I do around my teeth which is the most annoying one. I’m very confrontational and at the moment argumentative and irritable as ive just come off venlafaxine and started fluvoxamine. Not sure what everyone’s thoughts are on fluvox but so far no change. I’ve went from 50 to 100 in about 5 weeks. 5 weeks is early I know, Ive been on and off anti depressants for years.
My obsessions can be very varied. They usually revolve around family or friends. I recently cut out four of my closest friends who I realised I was constantly obsessing over because of their behaviour. I can’t change them and I can’t change myself just now and they weren’t interested. In me, my diagnoses, my gran dying, that i’d been feeling ‘S word’ which I made my gp aware of.
I’ve really really struggled to find a therapist that actually does know something about OCD and doesn’t just mention it as a list of things they can discuss. I finally found one and she mentioned erp. I’d also like to get thoughts on that if it’s helpful or not.
Right now I’m v lonely, I have one friend left from high school who I’m meant to see tomorrow but feel so depressed. I feel if I don’t go I’ll lose her too. My mum has mostly Been good but I’ve started to notice how passive she is to the detriment of us both cause she has no expectations of my brother, my stepdad and our only other relative - my uncle. She just wants them to be happy without considering that them constantly never being around makes me really unhappy and lonely. We have had a million discussions and I’ve talked to my brothers lots and they said they’ll try harder but it’s rarely seen. I really thought my family would rally round me. I thought they’d rally round my mum but they haven’t. I talk to my mum every day and spend most time with her but I’m also angry at her.
That was probably mostly irrelevant at the end there but I needed to rant.
I’ve been off work nearly 9 weeks and am due to start back on the 5th. im
not ready, i feel like its been the worst loneliest time for me ever. ive had to beg my family to care. each time
i do something nice or positive for myself im set back by them in some way that triggers an obsession and leaves me in bed all day unable to take care of myself. ive told them indont want to be there for xmas but thats probably cutting my nose of to spite my face any my mum doesnt deserve that but i am dreading it while. i go through this med change. please no advice like cut them out or just dont go. id like to genuinely know how to handle this at xmas time WITH them.
thank you for any help x
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OCD
|
I love this community. It was here that I first realized I had OCD. A disorder that is so mischaracterized in popular media, it almost feels like a caricature.
\[This was my experience with OCD, I don’t want to generalize. + TRIGGER WARNING (?) - skip the section if you are sensitive to OCD descriptions\]
Particularly for people that aren’t particularly organized it often feels like a stretch to assume you have OCD. So you put it off, try to deal with it yourself. After all these are only thoughts, there is nothing "wrong" with you. Or is there? The uncertainty consumes you and the Obsessions inevitably get worse. You are probably wondering, "could it really be OCD after all?". At this point, this would be a relief, you are begging for it to "only" be OCD. The thought this being your own, authentic thoughts haunts you. It is only at this point that you truly need to seek help. But getting a therapist takes months, if you are in the US it is likely even a financial burden.
This is harmful, worse - it is likely costing lives. So, with your help I would like to provide members of this group with things that helped you. Because acting now, you have the best chance of quickly learning to live with it.
Firstly I would like to say, if you related to this, even only in parts, and your thoughts are tormenting you, YOU *likely* HAVE OCD. But just act like you do, because even if you don’t have OCD, it could also be another mental health disorder and most of them have similar "Gold Standard" treatments like CBT. If you don’t, nothing I suggest is harmful to you. This should be common sense, but DO NOT take meds without medical supervision. Everything is of course highly subjective, but it's likely things that helped others could also be helpful to you.
\- Talk with a professional. Again Common Sense, but I encourage you to do this. I know not everyone has the luxury of receiving treatment for free, but if you do go though the process. Professionals take OCD very seriously, it is a dangerous disorder and it isn’t "only your thoughts". It is associated with >!a substantial risk of suicide and diminishes your quality of life. !<
\- Treat the thoughts as coming from a different entity. These aren’t your thoughts - So what would you think if a friend told you these things? Maybe you would ignore him, perhaps think he's a weirdo or clap back, **but you would certainly not take him seriously.** Your attention and you taking them seriously is all the power they have, take it from them. If the brain registers fear, it will think there is danger and throw more thoughts at you. But you don’t have to feed that vicious cycle. You won't be perfect at this, but try to improve over time.
\- **Don't** seek reassurance. You have probably heard this a lot, but it is important. **Don't** try to dissect a thought, research it or ask someone if it is ridiculous. Of course it is. But this is a compulsion in itself.
I know these are often regurgitated. That’s because they're important. They're also really simple, but they’re not easy to implement they are **hard to implement,** unbelievably so. Every time you have a thought, suffer through it. It's hard in the moment, but think about it this way: every time you perform a compulsion, the likelihood of having more intrusive thoughts that really hurt you increases.
\- This is subjective but deleting Social Media removed a lot of triggers. Of course this isn’t as potent as addressing the core problem, but at least it helps alleviate symptoms.
\- Meditate. Helps clear your mind, but is hard for people with OCD.
\- Take walks / work out. Being active is great for your mental wellbeing.
\- Read. This is the only form of media I can really enjoy anymore and after a few weeks, I wouldn’t want to go back, I find it much more fun than TV.
These are all just healthy habits everyone should pick up. But they helped me SO much. Other items would include meeting friends and eating healthy. But I would feel hypocritical recommending you to eat healthy and meeting friends didn’t really do much for me. I know picking up healthy habits is lame advice. It’s certainly better than picking up bad habits though and might as well use the chance. At the beginning I would indulge in bad habits like not eating at all or sleeping the entire day, because it was the only way to avoid my thoughts. Don’t do it. It’s a trap, only makes things worse.
\- One last controversial tip, but it helped me survive the first days. Not even exaggerating. >!Binaural Beats helped me come through the first days. But this wasn’t an option long term. I opted for Sleep hynosis for OCD. !<I don’t advise you to do the same, just sharing what worked for me.
That’s all I could think of for now. Please share your survival hacks. Joining a support group like this one can’t hurt either.
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OCD
|
I (32m) have always struggled with moderation - alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, eating. I also have a hard time moderating "good" things, but that often becomes a problem as well. Anything that feels good I tend to binge. I have found that I am able to abstain from most unhealthy activities, but abstinence is obviously not an option with everything (for example: food).
Anyhow, do any of you experience this, and, if so, has it improved after you've started medication? If it did not improve, do you have any coping strategies? Thank you.
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ADHD
|
Hi. On Adderall XR 15mg and have been now for about 6 months. It has helped me so drastically in life, helped me develop good cleaning habits, stop being so emotionally drained and all over the place, and in general has just made everything feel a lot easier. However there is one thing lately that I’ve noticed just over the past couple months is that I am so. Painfully. Boring.
I have off days (as reccomended by my psychiatrist) and Ive come to love my off days and dread when I have to take my meds again because of this. I’m usually goofy and silly off meds and Ive embraced this as who I am. I love making people laugh and laughing with them and I love the random songs that pop in my head and blurting witty things.
And all of that stops when I take my meds. My mind becomes literally empty and so does my expression and my whole demeanor and I hate it. I just get awkward and anti-social and only really talk when talked to. It makes me so focused on my tasks that I forget about social interaction altogether. When Im hanging out with friends and am supposed to be just relaxing and having fun I just dont feel anything.
Does anyone have any recommendation, or can at least empathize with this experience? I don’t want to just be a flatlined robot for 5/7 days of the week, but I also dont want to go back into having emotional breakdowns everyday and not being able to do my homrwork for more than 5 minutes at a time without a break. Urgghhhhh
|
ADHD
|
im so shit and a waste. i failed uni and didnt belong there. others my age in the classes were more mature and understood what they were doing. i was always lost and out of place. i failed to make anything of myself and now im working a low wage job doing nothing with my life
others are moving forward and im moving backward. i have no connections or relationships. i am a loser and a worthless waste of space. i dont want to do anything and i dont want to leave my apartment. i am sick of being me and i want to die
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depression
|
Hey you. Just wanted to put this out there hoping you would find it one day. I messed up, like I always do haha. Anyway I gave up on life when we BU. It's not you and don't blame yourself. I have been going down hill ever since, my body has slowly started shutting down. I have never felt worse the I do today. I'm trying to finish this job tonight so she isn't left hanging. So tonight or tomorrow I'm going to go to the hospital. I know they can't do anything for me but I'm hoping they can keep me comfortable. I know I won't be walking out of there so I wanna tell you. I love you more then anything and I'm sorry for everything. At least this way I won't be hurting anymore. I miss you very much and love you a lot. You are very special and you have a heart of gold. Don't settle for nothing but the best. Go for your highest goals you can get it. Take care T. J.
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depression
|
I have my opinions because I agree with them. I have a fear though that I only have them to fit in. What if I purpously have my views as liberal to fit in with reddit. I don't. I agree with my opinions but that fear is always in the back of my mind. If I dismiss it feels like I I'm not being self aware. I to tend to follow what reddit says and I'm easily convinced but these are my opinions because I agree with them. My ocd is telling me I just have them to agree with reddit. I don't know what to do its eating me up inside.
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OCD
|
I have moments when I scroll this subreddit and try to give advice to people. I think, however, that I will stop doing this. I cannot help people anymore. It is too draining. I cannot keep burdening myself with other people's problems and try to find a solution.
I want to make clear that I don't have *helper-syndrome*.
I want to help others because no-one helped me and I know that mental illness is worse than anything else in this world.
I write this because I doubt if I really want to do this. I am not sure what the right thing is to do. This has always been difficult for me, knowing to what extent it is my duty and responsibility to help and take care of others.
The thought of just letting people suffer doesn't sit well with me but neither does pushing myself out of my comfort zone to help with other's crises.
I suppose I will then find a way to help in a different way in my lifetime.
I want to let people here know this, and if I had helped anyone, I'm really happy that I have.
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depression
|
When I worked for the street department in my town, there was this girl I worked with who had a bartending job and a restaurant job outside the street department job. Like that just stresses me out thinking about it!
Edit: To clarify, the girl was my age, just got out of high school, and was going to the local community college. She isn’t married and doesn’t have kids. I know her and I know that she isn’t financially unstable.
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aspergers
|
I recently got diagnosed and was started on atomoxetine a couple of weeks ago. I just got bumped up to 60mg and it’s making me feel a bit weird. Half way through the day I started to feel VERY jittery and tingly? I felt an intense laser focus. Is this normal?
I’m kinda worried about continuing the medication if this is how it makes you feel? Does anyone have experience with this?
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ADHD
|
The most recent was a comment he made a few days ago about not getting me an accommodation I need next week; he actually put a lot of work yesterday into getting it set up, and it sounds super helpful and I really appreciate it!
The other was a comment he made a couple months ago about something I might have done that night being inappropriate; the situation was resolved by the evening anyway but it was still helpful for future reference to find out he didn’t mean it.
The last referred to a comment he made two years ago that really stuck with me, but had come up earlier this week: I had momentarily lost something important to me that he once made fun of me for having (think along the lines of a security blanket), and before I found it again I was scared that he had thrown it out on purpose because I wouldn’t put that past him. But he wasn’t only surprised to hear that, he also told me his own story about something similar that his own mom actually did to him as a kid.
So yeah, dinner tonight went pretty well. :)
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aspergers
|
I've(28M) been in countless relationships that have ended because I feel like I'm not truly physically attracted to my SO. In the beginning I find them kinda cute, but I wonder if the dopamine hitting my adhd brain tricks me into thinking they're attractive.
I feel satisfied with the relationship until I see someone I find very pretty, then I feel like I'm making a huge mistake. I feel sad, and I feel longing for something more. This will happen very frequently, and I can never get the thoughts out of my head. The simple solution is to date someone I find more attractive, but what if I still have the same issue?
Bit of backstory. I usually always end up in a relationship with women for their personality, not their looks. Not to say I find them unattractive, I just know their looks would never have caught my eye. I don't intentionally look for this kind of dynamic, but I often fall into it easily because I love being around them, I obsess over them, then I'm hooked in emotionally. I fall deeply in love with them and their personalities, making being with them such a joy. But I usually end it a few months to a year into it when I can't stop thinking about other women. Women whom I've never actually met and spoken to.
I'm at my wits end, and I don't know what to do. I'm currently with someone that I cherish dearly. This girl is perfect in every way, except that I don't find her especially attractive. We have a very healthy sex life that I enjoy very much, but whenever I see someone with a pretty face I stew about it for an entire day, or more. I really don't want to break up with her, because I genuinely don't feel like I'll be able to find a connection this wonderful again.
Has anyone else ever felt this way about their relationship, but made it work? What's the solution?
Edit: I don't think about these women I see in a sexual way whatsoever. I find them attractive, and I just want to be around them, get to know them. If I ever speak to them I have butterflies all over.
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ADHD
|
What do you all find comes first, the physical symptoms and then your mind finds an obsession that matches the physical sensation of anxiety (fluttery heart, knot in stomach)
Or do you find the thought comes first and causes physical symptoms??
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OCD
|
So some coworkers knew how I’d been assaulted. I had been to the psych ward where I had been diagnosed and took some time off work. I had blown up at a coworker right before, just got incredibly angry and made drinks aggressively, didn’t threaten or attack anyone.
I thought I was doing better when I returned. I started seeing a trauma therapist and taking an anti anxiety pill. But one night at work I blew up on a girl for a stupid reason (she had given alcohol to a younger underage coworker who had a pretty bad drinking problem). I said some means things about jail time and at the height of it pounded my chest like a monkey..another coworker helped calm me down and the girl and I made up and joked together after that.
But I’m sure she told some other people because when I asked a different coworker to hang out she said she needed to be careful who she hung out with. As in, I wasn’t a good influence. It hurt, a lot. I felt that i wasn’t allowed to have symptoms. That I was a psycho freak. I’ve lost a lot of friends because of it. Especially as a woman, we’re not taught how to properly handle anger. We’re not supposed to feel it. I’ve been so ashamed for so long even though I never insulted or psychically harmed anyone. I’ve been so invalidated and guilt ridden.
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ptsd
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I had a very traumatic childhood. Where drugs, violence, fighting was heavily around. I was left on my own in heroin houses by the time I was 15 and I did things I wasn't proud of to survive and make sure I didn't have to sleep under a tree or on a park bench in the winter.
I've always figured I was extremely sad because I had things to be sad about ya know? And that depression was when you were sad for no reason. I was always very understanding of my own conditions. My own mental illness and the abandonment issues I had. The trauma of things I experienced at a young age and things i seen that horrificly affected me.
I fell In love. Had a child. And them was cheated on and left after 4 years. Sadly her mom hates me now. Does everything she can to keep our child from me. Over a year and half of her life I have had her held from me. Nothing has ever hurt more then feeling replaced as a father. Having another man thrown in my face as my daughters "true" father. Being told I couldn't provide enough. Told I wasn't good enough. I wasn't wanted.
Even though to me I was always there to help my child's mother. I let her use me. Abuse me and everything between cause I still loved her. When she decided to leave me I lost much more then just the girl I loved. I lost my time as a parent majorly. Went from a full time dad to a weekend one. And it's broke me badly. And that's if I'm allowed to see her or have somewhere to take her.
I've done nothing but work my butt off to be a great dad. I put my daughter first in everything. I sacrificed so much for both of them. Even when her mom hates me. Constantly asks me to sign away my rights but how could I ever hurt my daughter like that?.
My issue is the voice in my head always tells me she's right. That my little girl is better off without her broken fucked up dad. My parents ruined me at a young age cause of thier mental issues. I don't wanna do that to mine. I don't wanna pass down these things. I try so darn hard to make sure she's got a better life. She's so happy and only time I truly feel ok is when she's with me. She loves her dad so much. Thinks I'm so great.
I don't know why I've always felt undeserving. Like I'm not good enough for people to love. I even find myself self sabotaging relationships when I get to close. Cause I think they deserve better man then me.
Anyways. I guess my point of making this post was that lately I've found myself thinking so heavily about death. What happens after this? Doing studying. Even preparing.
Preparing in a way where I've written letters for daughter. Just in case. That tell her who I was. What I liked. How much she means to me. What kind of man I wished I was. I've written all my favorite bands and music down so she would have some sort of understanding of me. I'm a music fanatic. So it was important to me.
I've used my fb as a sort or diary or a way for her to be able to reach deep into who her dad was in case im not there for her later on. From when I was 15 to 26. She will have some understanding of her dad on a deeper level.
And I know. This isn't right. But I couldn't imagine to those who lost a parent to suicide not being able to ever truly get to know them or love them for the person they were. I've always been kind. Caring. Going out of my way for others when they were sad. It was important to me. I hated knowing others felt like I had.
I've always been a deep thinking person. Exploring the fabric of existence. Why we exist. What it all means. And maybe that's cause I've never felt I had a purpose? So I searched for one. Though my only purpose now is to love my beautiful little girl and try everything I can do not to hurt her. Disappoint her or let her down. I hate that I have thoughts of giving up. Of just putting a gun to my head and finding out sooner then later what lays beyond the veil.
I've always had these thoughts since I was 13. But never as often as now. It's constant. I drink a lot and cry about it and it's probably the only time as a man I can find a way to cry. Only after I've chugged a 5th does these stupid emotions I stuffed away finally come out. I'm not a angry drunk. More lovey dovey then anything. But sad lately.
Anyways. I love my daughter so I've been fighting so much lately.
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depression
|
He killed 10 and injured 16 in April 2018. His defence claimed he was not criminally responsible because he has ASD and 'can't feel empathy', which most of us know is a myth.
He also identified as an incel and admitted that he knew his actions were wrong but wanted the infamy.
Glad to see him found guilty of 10 counts of first degree murder and 16 counts of attempted murder.
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aspergers
|
I'm just sick of it all, I'm 17 fucking years old and it feels like every second lasts a day.I've been depressed my whole life, I haven't gotten help from anyone, when I asked my mom for help for the first time in my life but I was shouted at and told I had no respect for her. After that I felt that I don't have anyone anymore, but I met a girl with similar problems, we started talking, she took care of me, I felt wonderful and I felt that I finally have a purpose in life, I learned a lot from her and the fact that it can be considered as a simple teenage love and I will meet someone else, but two weeks ago she cheated on me with some guy.Until now I'm broken, the emptiness inside me kills me because I know that I don't trust anyone else, only her. I know that I don't trust anyone anymore, only her. Despite this, we continued to write and even arranged a meeting, but she stood me up, she apologized, but then everything was breaking inside of me, then she started posting pictures with her new boyfriend and how they kiss, then I realized that I feel that this is the end, everything lost its meaning, the passions that once drove me completely lost my attention. The person I was involved with for 3 years and we had a lot in common left me, my family doesn't give a shit about me, I don't have any friends.Nothing keeps me here anymore and anyone who thinks that maybe I'll find someone is wrong, I haven't and I never will, and I feel sorry for the rest of people like me, now I understand what it's like.Please, after what I want to do, people should finally understand that it destroys people and they need fucking help, any kind of help.Peace, love and empathy, please, just for fuck sake people need it.
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depression
|
So I used to be on all kinds of adhd meds when I was younger. None worked better than Vyvanse. I got off of it about 5 years ago for fear of becoming addicted to medications my whole life and I lived fine for those 5 years. I taught myself how to work wi tbh my adhd, not always well but also my other mental health issues such as my Tourette’s and depression. Well recently I got diagnosed with bipolar and I tried a whole bunch of meds for that and tried to avoid adhd meds for my own reasons.
However now I want to focus on taking care of my adhd so my doctor prescribed me 20mg of Vyvanse. Today was the first day I took it (12pm due to waking up late)
I ate some fries and then I went to work at 1:45pm. Almost clockwork at 2:48 pm I projectile vomited all over my work room, I’m a doggy daycare coach. I have never been more embarrassed in my life but I couldn’t hold it in nor make it to the bathroom or even trash can in time. I’m so embarrassed but I’m still throwing up. My head is clear for sure but my stomach won’t stop. I just threw up some blood. Not a lot but enough to see.
I just want to know if anyone else has had a similar start to Vyvanse. I’m also taking cymbalta for a mood stabilizer.
Sorry if it was tmi I’m just so scared and nervous. I called my doctor and he didn’t answer so I left a voicemail of me literally just puking in the car trying to explain what’s going on.
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ADHD
|
I have been diagnosed with ocd and I fear feces to the point where I wipe with 50+ baby wipes every time I go number 2 and shower after for a long time...this usually takes an hour and a half to two hours. Today I sat on my chair without any pants and only underwear and I’m scared I had poop left on my ass cheeks (where I usually don’t clean with wipes) and that’s I left some traces of feces on my chair. I’m panicking. Also my ass is really hairy so it takes ages to clean it. Does poop just wash with water? I’m really scared that I left some on my chair.
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OCD
|
Genuine question here, I promise! I'm in highschool, getting evaluated for ADHD soon due to issues that have arose this year. I'm considered highly gifted, I've been in a "academy" (really just an extension of public school) for gifted kids since seventh grade, so my geometry class goes pretty in depth haha. But holy crap, I didn't know I could feel this dumb.
Sure, I've felt stupid before, but most of my classes I just kinda faked it and since I was at least familiar with the material, I had no issue. And algebra was great because it's more like "if this, do that" which is so much easier than trying to put my thoughts into words. But geometry.. ooh boy. I have a test on proofs on Wednesday.. I just learned about it today.. and I'm already a week behind on homework. My older brother helps when he can, but lo and behold, he sucked at geometry too. We spent an hour on one proof trying to figure out what theorem or postulate was the reasoning for one step.
What's really hard for me is slowing down my thoughts enough to actually put them into words. I think very quickly in half-phrases (or just concepts in general, no words) so trying to slow my mind down and think about the progression of proofs is really hard. I also can't memorize the twenty or more postulates/theorems/etc I need to. I've tried having my mom study with me, tried Quizlet, Quizzizz, hand held flashcards, tried just repeating the theorems and their definitions over and over, but they just don't stick. I was wondering if any of you know of any accomodations I can ask for if I am dxed with ADHD?
This is probably really disjointed. Sorry for that. Anyway, one other question; parent teacher conferences are coming up, my mom is going to ask questions about my attention and stuff like that, but also talk to my geometry teacher about issues in the class. Anything you folks think might be good to bring up?
Thanks in advance!
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ADHD
|
Mines not a fan of the idea that it's safe to believe in something good for myself, *lol*. D:
Ain't that a load of shit.
We all actually can believe in something good.
No prob
Fuck that
Love you brain but fuck you
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OCD
|
This has happened to me several times, last time i was in public and some karen called an ambulance because she thought i was overdosing and i had to argue with her to tell the ambulance not to come because they've got better things to do, which was a bit shit, has anyone got any tips for dealing with this or does this even happen to other people?
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aspergers
|
What am I supposed to do? My medication (adderall) has beeen out of stock for the past week and when I called again today I was told it’s on backorder and people from other pharmacies are coming to Walgreens to get it filled and they don’t have enough. Ok so what am I even supposed to do? I need my meds. The pharmacist doesn’t know when they will have more and the other pharmacy I called has been out of stock for a week plus. This is insane has this happened to anyone else? I’m in texas
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ADHD
|
I'm gonna cry! I have needed this for so long. ADHD fucks with my life so bad. I've been working with a psychiatrist for about a year now to get my co-morbidities under control in order to finally get tested and diagnosed with ADHD. I wasn't expecting it but at our appointment today she tested me, told me I have it, and prescribed me Adderall. I can't think of a time I've felt this relieved or happy! I feel like I finally have a chance to get my life together!
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ADHD
|
Hey everyone,
I have been struggling with mental health for a long time. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at age 18 and prescribed Zoloft than ADHD at 20 prescribed Vyvanse. I was taking the combo for years and felt like I was on track to begin the best version of myself. There came a point recently where I started to feel ashamed of being on two medications and thought I could manage only with Vyvanse. My depression has since completely taken over and I can't find the energy to get out of bed and nothing is interesting anymore. I think I'm going to have to get back on Zoloft. I am wondering if this is a common combination or I'm just weird.
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ADHD
|
Every night before I go to bed, I have to check EVERYTHING. If the door is locked, checking the windows to make sure no ones outside, checking under my bed, and having the feeling someone's is watching me (I have to open my eyes every minute because I always go like "What if someone's right behind you, waiting to stab you?" I don't even know if its OCD, I don't know what it is. I have to check everything until it "feels right". I'll be almost asleep and then get a sudden urge to check under the bed or something. What is this called? Anyone know the exact term?
|
OCD
|
I hate this country, this world, this human race of greed. My fault for falling of my medication. Would rather be dead than have a 2k bill.
Edit: I'm not dying, but I'm not out yet.
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depression
|
How bad has your OCD gotten, at its worse? How real did it feel, how personal, like how "this is coming from me" did it feel, etc. How did you beat it? What did it feel like after? Just so we don't feel alone, let's share !
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OCD
|
I'm making this post at the suggestion of my therapist. I met with her today and she pointed out when I talked about this community I was bright, hopeful, and optimistic. This was in relation to the shame I felt about the last time I posted, in which I was too open and admitted to things that made me feel ashamed of myself. As a result, I felt disgusted with myself and people as a whole and swore off this subreddit.
I'm back though because of a challenge she proposed to help me overcome my self-inflicted sense of shame. My trauma is sexually based. Over my healing process I've slowly developed a healthier sex drive and mindset about sex. Today's session was extremely uncomfortable because I admitted something to my therapist that I didn't want to, but something which I knew would be a constant distraction to me if I didn't say anything.
I had a wet dream about my therapist.
I was sexually abused almost exactly one year ago. Since then, I've had sexually-oriented dreams that were weird and painful and mostly ended up in me waking up in physical pain. I haven't had a physically pleasurable wet dream until recently. The dream was (obviously) sexual in nature and my sexual partner in my dream was my therapist. I was engaged to a woman I loved in the past and I loved her, she loved me but for whatever reason she broke the engagement off. Since then, the only woman I've trusted and felt safe around was my therapist.
The dream I had about my therapist and us together was the most sexually satisfied I've ever felt, even including being with my fiancee.
I told my therapist this and I feel so screwed up sharing this with others and I'm only doing so because she listened to me describe the dream and encouraged me to post here because it's been a safe place in the past
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ptsd
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Subsets and Splits
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