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I've only somewhat recently been diagnosed with PTSD. It's been terrible recently. It happens a lot when I'm having a panic or anxiety attack or when I'm dissociating, but I get bursts of energy that I have to "focus" into parts of my body. Either moving my back by twitching, moving my arms or legs, clenching my muscles and joints, i just have to exert my energy into something sometimes to the point it hurts. Sometimes i feel the need to release that energy by screaming as loud as i can until my throat hurts. But i can't scream because that will draw attention or get a noise complaint. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
I get these dreams every single night. There's another world in there almost, and every time I fall asleep it feels like I visit it. It's kinda like mine, the apartment is pretty similar, i feel like i predicted my roommates moving in with their parents in a dream and even have a drawing dated before i had the conversation with them about the lease ending and them deciding to move in with their parents. Then there are other places that feel like they should exist but I haven't seen them yet. They're all like an image with sharp details that i can remember distinctly just like reality and sometimes i find myself in conversations confusing things that happened in a dream with real life and watching them look at me like I'm crazy as i try to figure out what was a memory and what i dreamt
It all sounds crazy and i know it's totally not based in reality but i'm really struggling staying grounded on my own here and i'm bringing my girlfriend down with me. I've never had someone so supportive and loving and understanding in my life, she deeply cares and loves me and is also in a hard place watching me slip further every single day. It's so bad I could barely work my full time job without having to call in every other day. I feel like I"m getting somewhere with talk therapy but my psychiatrist isn't covered in insurance and the office can't seem to figure out who they want to keep me with and no medicine has been working. I think im getting help with the therapist and psychiatrist prescribing medications but i don't know what else to do anymore
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ptsd
|
I don't know if this is allowed, but I'm rattled and don't know where else to go. I have a brother (22) who has aspergers. He can be really be really aggressive at times, but he usually just ends up doing name calling, and maybe light swatting on an everyday basis.
However just 20 minutes ago, we were in a minor argument about something. I told him really firmly to get out of my room because I was getting mad and he was getting all worked up, and he starts yelling, punches me in the face, breaking my glasses. At this point, I'm completely shocked and just lose it, I start yelling and run at him. My parents and brother come up immediately and pull each other apart. It was all really fast so I didn't really get to throw any punches back.
This is the first time he's ever attacked me. My parents just say that he's mentally disabled so there's nothing that I can do and I have to forgive. I don't want to, it's not fair. This isn't the first time he's attacked someone either. He attacked my mom and attacked my dad twice leaving scars on their faces and bodies. I don't want to live with him anymore. I don't feel like I can trust being around him.
Edit: I don't really know where this will go, I'm mainly just ranting because I'm shocked, and very very angry. I have a lot of pent up anger towards him from over the years, so the fact that he does something so drastic and violent to me makes me feel bitter and vengeful.
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aspergers
|
Hello,
I am a clinically diagnosed OCD patient.
!!! PROCEED BELOW ONLY AT YOUR RISK, MIGHT TRIGGER OCD !!!!
Recently my mind has been utterly messed up with something called as sensorimotor obsession.
Basically, it’s obsessing about your bodily actions - blinking, swallowing, breathing etc etc.
Nicely written and documented here [article link](https://beyondocd.org/expert-perspectives/articles/when-automatic-bodily-processes-become-conscious-how-to-disengage-from-sens)
My question is :
Has anyone been able to recover from these type of obsessions OR at least be able to manage them?
If yes, can you please share your experience and what helped you in doing it ?
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OCD
|
I can't seem to make my scripts trigger loads of anxiety, just minor discomfort. Any ideas?
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OCD
|
So my heart is pounding yet I'm laying in my bed watching a comedy show trying to settle it down qnd I really don't know what's going on.
A friend of mine for years was lost recently due to an action I was basically forced to do. Long story short I woke up to the sounds of squealing and looked out the window to see my service dog being ripped apart by two bull mastiffs. I had to unfortunately shoot both of the mastiffs to save my boy. One of the dogs had previously bitten my wife as well and I didn't really have time to think. One charged me and It just didn't go down in the first two hits. There's the situation that happened. I lost my friend because of his dogs busting through my fence to go after mine. I watched two beautiful faces drain their light before me with accusing eyes as their life drained from them.
The thing that is really bothering me is the smell. Not rot, I moved them before this and had to bury them myself so rot didn't have q time to set in. Jjst...so much blood in my grass and it smelled like fear and death. I'm nowhere around anything CLOSE to what that smells like, it's q month later qnd I can still smell it like I'm standing over it. My hands are shaking and I can barely breathe like it's a panic attack except it's ongoing and doesn't seem to really stop, just sorta settle in my stomach like I'm Hungry or have been punched.
I can't find anyone that seems to take my insurance to go ask what's wrong with me so I figure q thread of helpful people...might work?...? Does this sound like ptsd? Should I be focusing on finding a psyche still or someone else?
Sorry for bad typing, my hands are shaking pretty badly. I received death threats earlier for speaking about this in q comment (in dms) and it's had me reliving the damn experience ce all day
Edit* my boy needed stitches and drain tubes after a 24inch desalination of muscle from bone along the back of his neck running to his throat and shoulder. He's ok now. Rather scarred up there and doesn't obey commands as good anymore
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ptsd
|
Hi im re writing this as my last post was far to long
as a kid i had ocd problems ranging from. closing my eyes super tight and swearing in places i shouldn't like in front of family or even in school. over the year this kept going until around age 18 when i started smoking and all this went away within the first 2 months of me smoking. im currently 29 and im smoke free for nearly 2 years but recently it has kicked back in a different form. if something negative or annoying happens to me ill keep thinking about it for months wake up before bed so on. i got annoyed with a mate and for 2 months i couldn't stop thinking how annoying he has gotten. like non stop for 2 months nearly, then that faded away 8 months later. im going through another one. this time i got into retro collecting old retro games. something i planned to do for a long time but smoking was eating all my cash up. so i found a good buyer spent nearly 5K AUS on old games i was happy but now some of the games that are not in the best condition rip here box dinted a bit. and i cant stop thinking of the condition of some of the boxes and when im over that i start thinking the money i wasted. even though there was nothing i wanted. how do i go about this and your opinion on this matter sorry for the long post. i had a smoke few days ago and my over thinking went away almost instantly i started thinking god how stupid over some games or cash im stressing my self. but a few hr after my smoke in kicked in again. i spent about 35 to nearly 50k$ if not more on smoking from age 18 to about 27 and i still don't think or over think about that. i know 5k is a lot of money. and i have a good pc and setup so even if i don't need the money i still feel bad. this happen if someone buy me a expensive gift to i feel guilt. this has all so brought some suicidal thought back on the table. even though i wouldn't do that. id like to think anyway ty for any help
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OCD
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it’s been so hard for me to deal with all the risks of contamination, even using a mask and following the doctor’s tips. so, i prefer to stay at home and avoid to make myself feel uncomfortable in front of other people, cause i am a little ashamed with all this ocd situation that i’ve been fighting against since i was 4. another question: how do you guys feel when need to reproduce an ocd behavior next to people you are not that close?
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OCD
|
Lately my hypervigilance is off the charts. I always feel as though something bad is about to happen. I'm on edge all the time. I can't sleep at night. I'm afraid to be home alone.
I am also having more flashbacks than usual. Sometimes simple words and phrases trigger me. I have done EMDR with my therapist. She doesnt know why the memories and flashbacks are worse now.
I feel like I am falling apart. My therapist doesnt seem to get how bad I am feeling. I'm afraid I'll end up in the hospital again.
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ptsd
|
Hi,
Even if I make a to do list. I’m still frozen and stuck when I wake up because I feel like the list is overwhelming. Then I end up getting out of bed much later than I wanted to and become even more overwhelmed.
How do I stop being overwhelmed from my daily to-do-lists?
btw, they’re not hard stuff. Just some basic chores and an assignment for class.
Any advice?
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ADHD
|
I started reading a book, “The Body Keeps the Score” and the more I read it, the more I read about the neurology of trauma, it’s getting increasingly difficult to know what I can attribute to autism vs what I can attribute to complex PTSD. It could be both, it could just be PTSD, I have no idea. The symptoms and manifestations in the brain seem so similar. I’m getting tested for autism soon, but I’m afraid I’m wasting my time on the wrong assessment. Has anybody else gone down a similar rabbit hole?
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aspergers
|
Hi so I'm new. I literally just had a really bad intrusive thought about killing myself while I was taking a bath. It made me so scared and sick to my stomach. Like it felt so real like I was actually going to do it and no one not even myself could stop me. I have rocd do I know to just sit with the feelings and I did and they passed so I'm wondering if this was just a normal suicidal thought or if it's a form of ocd. I'm all good now, I'm just honestly scared that I might do something even though I don't want to hurt myself.
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OCD
|
**Trigger Warning:** Post contains depictions of Parental abuse, Bullying, Trauma.
**TL;DR |** Parents dismissed diagnosis early on to protect ego, father enabled physical abuse from my mother, victim blamed for bullying, had difficulty accepting who I am, was indoctrinated to have rather terrible opinions politically, deprogramed myself before it was too late. Began to accept myself, however past trauma leaves me in a state of frustration and anhedonia.
I was diagnosed at the age of 14 with HFA/Asperger's, I was around 5 or 6 when I was diagnosed with ADHD. I am 26 going on 27, I have a decent job, I live with my girlfriend, I can support myself. This pandemic hasn't been super tough on me, as it has been for others, and if it is I am unaware of it. I did have to go no contact with my parents earlier this year, this will be the first holiday season not seeing them, nor will I be seeing my extended family despite having a better relationship with my grandparents.
The Elementary School that I went to at the age of 5 suspected that I may have been on the spectrum, and my father was quick to express anger toward the administration at the time, Ironically given my material conditions and the negative environment I was in, my neurological differences became even more so apparent to where it just could not be ignored. When I asked him why he didn't take my school at the time seriously, his excuse was that he was 'protecting his family', but I think he was just trying to protect his ego in a similar fashion other autism parents have, at least that's my interpretation from the anecdotes I've seen online, and boy, those anecdotes are legion.
My father also used the same 'protecting the family' when my mother taped my mouth shut with FedEx tape because I was having a meltdown, I don't remember what the meltdown was about, but I remember rushing into my then bedroom with a full thing of packing tape, she slammed me on the ground and taped my mouth shut. That event left a nasty bruise on my neck which she tried covering up with makeup. Social services immediately got involved, and we were likley going to end up in foster care because of what my mother did.
My mother had to stay in a hotel for an entire month until her court date, which amounted to having to take court ordered parenting classes. My father at the time demanded that I go to the social worker and demand that I wanted my mom back because of course he was protecting his family, and I was in tears when I told the social worker this. The funny thing is that I've never had an ounce of love for her. Maybe I was just scared.
I never felt protected in either of these situations, in fact I felt ignored and unappreciated.
​
I was the subject to routine bullying, I was regularly called the R-Slur. People would call me the F-Slur because it was assumed that I was gay because I don't exactly portray the same masculine stereotypes that my peers did. Any bullying I spoke to my parents about was met with dismissal or victim blaming. Out of anger when I was about 7, I remember telling my mom that I "wished all bullies went to jail", she snapped back by saying "Well if that was the case, then everyone would be in jail". One day, a group of kids in my neighborhood started pelting me with rocks, I came home in tears (Obviously) and my father would then tell me that I essentially deserved it, because I must have obviously done \*something\*, and I remember trying to defend myself but he jumped down my throat and that led to another meltdown.
I would get assaulted by a kid at school, and my father would tell me "the human skull is designed to take impacts to the head", no empathy, I would be asked if I wanted to press charges and my father would then jump down my throat saying that I better not because he doesn't want the drama. My father would routinely tell me that I am somehow purposefully getting myself into these situations when I am trying to reassert myself as a human being, but I never could.
My last year of school, my father would regularly chastise me for being in my room too much and criticize me for being on my computer all the time. his mantra was "You're 17, get off your ass and do something, quit being lazy". This was coupled with regular threats of being kicked out of the house. Even when I approached him calmly by explaining how making some communicative changes would help and I'd be more receptive he'd shoot back with "I am your father, I will talk to you however I damn well please", he has in fact used the same rhetoric with me as an adult, and when I tell him he needs to stop, he'll accuse me of demanding control over everyone and everything. I just wanted my boundaries respected, and to be spoken to like a human being.
My High School did nothing about the abuse I faced in school, or at home, and funnily enough when I brought my frustrations up to my parents, they'd also accuse the school system of trying to brainwash me, two separate occasions they've used that excuse. Any time the police were involved because I had a meltdown and called 911 because I couldn't take the abuse, they were always antagonistic. I've grown up to feel severely maladjusted despite masking well enough, but I feel like I could get a heart attack at any minuet, and I don't know of any other 6 year old who thinks that.
When I was younger, I misplaced a lot of my anger on the wrong people and I shamefully almost fell down the alt right pipeline, I thankfully had the tenacity to stop myself and deprogram, and I was able to reassert my more progressive (Left) political opinions that I had in High School. I beat myself up and cringe thinking about how i could have ended up had I continued down the pipeline. I also had this twisted idea that I didn't need medication and I utterly refused to accept that I was on the spectrum, I hated 'labels'. I always seemed to harbor an unscrupulous amount of self hatred as well, at least I did until recently.
I did finally accept myself for who I am, and I've even jumped on the whole Autistic Pride thing, realizing that I'm not a bad person; Society just tends to be really fucking ableist, but being treated like one really screws with you and it really screws with your perception of reality. I harbor a lot of frustration but I feel betrayed by my parents, my school and the justice system. I'm worried about my future and despite the modicum of success I've had, I feel like it's just meaningless. I can't remember a day where I've woken up feeling happy. I feel like I'm just existing. If I'm trying to advocate for myself even, I tend to assume it's going to be a full on battle, and I need to realize that it isn't but I can't shake the frustration. I regularly see a therapist and a psychiatrist, I am on medication.
This is getting too long, but I appreciate those who've listened.
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aspergers
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I have an extra bad period atm… Would be really nice with some mutual support
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OCD
|
Some context: I live in a pretty stable household. But when I was younger (12-17, I am now 19), my dad would lose his control when drinking and would fit in rage over the smallest things. Which, he’d take out on my mother and I (mostly me). Some of the times he’d beaten me was because I would misbehave in school and home. I believed it was justified. Some of the times he’d hit me would be because we got in an argument (very trivial ones). One time was because I told my sister not to “act like a bitch.” I’ve gotten bloodshot eyes, nose bleeds. My mirrors and doors have been broken and my walls with holes. Now, anytime he’s in a bad mood or raises his voice or changes his tone a certain way, I start crying with difficulty breathing and fast and increased heart rate. What is this phenomenon. I hate it. I feel weak and I feel unheard bc I think that anytime I say something wrong that he doesn’t like, he’d just start yelling. Please help, I am confused and don’t feel well. Thank you.
Edit: I feel like I am over exaggerating with the way I feel even though I do not control my reaction. Idk if it’s a valid feeling
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ptsd
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See I have trouble reading off of adhd medication too. I remember having to spend hours re reading a passage to actually let any of the stuff I was reading be comprehended by my brain. But like I was reading quick and eventually it comprehended
On meds it’s like.. I have trouble looking at the words and reading them and i read really slowly and it’s like not being comprehended unless I try really hard
I have a little trouble w speech on meds. I’m used to just being so scatterbrained and saying things that way. But on meds it’s like I feel blocked off from speaking that way
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ADHD
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I work in a restaurant, and pre-Covid we were pretty busy. I usually worked swing or graveyard shifts, which eased my anxiety. But I enjoyed work before, now we’re so understaffed I can’t take mental health days. there is three of us so at any given time one of us cannot cover a shift, they’re already working that day or they’re off. My job doesn’t know about my ptsd, they know I’m anxious but I have an anxiety disorder too, it’s not hard to say ‘I’m just anxious’.
Well, lately I’ve been dragging ass at work. I’m slowing down (I’ve been in restaurants since I was 13. I’m 21), I hate going to work. I cannot muscle my way through a day without literally wanting to just walk out and never come back. I think I know why.
On top of dealing with high stress and high tension environments lately (I’m in AZ so imagine how well people are taking to the mask situation currently), I get yelled at, threatened, and intimidated by dumb cucks who think I am judge, jury, and executioner for corporate rule making. I’m paid $8 an hour, I don’t make any fucking rules. I also found out that one of my preferred coworker friends is a registered sex offender. I never hang outside of work, so I spent a lot of time thinking he was just a cool dude. This is triggering to me, now I can’t spend any time around him without feeling like SHIT. One of my abusers came in and the few coworkers in the building kept talking up his looks and stuff, and how they never had a bad experience with him (I didn’t give them much details, just that he caused me a lot of trauma and grief for a few years). My cook said he wanted to fuck him and all sorts of stuff. I haven’t felt right since then. I feel fucking crazy. And they all laughed at me.
I work at five today and I don’t want to go in. Even no call no showing feels better than suffering through another shift with a shitty ass Sex offender as my shift leader.
Also, I have nightmares about work, I can’t handle one Karen today or I’ll have a fucking breakdown and be a nervous wreck.
Am I just a crybaby? Is this valid? Idk anymore
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ptsd
|
ƪ(‾.‾“)┐
Edit:
I can't believe I got 2 silvers on this then said thank you in the wrong comment ಠ ل͟ ಠ
*whispers thank u to everyone bc it's been a bad couple days*
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OCD
|
I'm pretty much shaking right now and I can't sleep because I commented on someone's Tumblr post and realized how stupid I sounded. I'm scared I may have made them uncomfortable and I'm gonna be "cancelled" and hated by everyone for the rest of my life. My comment is still up, you can't delete it. Great. I wanna apologize to the person but they probably hate me already. What do I do? I blocked them and completely changed my profile but my comment is still up, other people can see it. Why am I even obsessing over this so much.
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OCD
|
So there is this friend that I talked with on Instagram. One day I noticed there was one follower missing from my profile and I checked who it was and it was that friend.
I went and messaged them asking them why they did that and they left me on read. I immediately started making assumptions that they hated me for some reason and I sent more messages asking them why they left me on read like that and if I did something wrong that made them unfollow me.
They replied later telling me that they were busy and would stop using instagram for a while to focus on work and that they unfollowed a bunch of people along with me, which was true.
I feel very guilty that I spammed them with messages like that instead of just asking calmly and now I'm thinking that I'm a narcissist who can't handle rejection. I ended up looking up for signs of a narcissistic personality online because of this
I think I made them feel very uncomfortable because of this and that I was rude. I feel like they won't want to talk to me again after that and that I should just leave them alone and never talk to them again because I was rude. Has anyone had any similar experiences? Idk if anyone can understand what I'm talking about
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OCD
|
I've always been confused by the term "think before you speak." This gif is a good visualization of what speaking feels like to me: https://tenor.com/view/wallace-and-gromit-wallace-gromit-train-tracks-gif-8865867
I just kinda hope I find the right words as I'm speaking. You only have a split second to respond to someone after they're done talking. How the hell are you supposed to consider all the ways you could say something, and make sure it doesn't offend anybody and come across the way you intended in that time. Do people actually have multiple dialog options thought out in that time?
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ADHD
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I’m 27 with ASD. When my fiancé and I argue, which is on a very rare occasion, I say things one way that I kinda agree with so we can diffuse the argument but then I end up mentally backtracking later and am totally pissed off about what she said but don’t know how to express that verbally to her. Is the an autism thing I can work on or am I taking the wrong approach and need to learn to be more honest?
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aspergers
|
So I’m 17 (male). My whole time through puberty I’ve been straight. I’ve loved the traits of women (thighs, hips, butt, breasts) and I’ve even had about 3 crushes on women older than me. I never doubted this at all. But right before my niece was born I started to have POCD. Now that that happened I’m terrified I’m a pedo. My anxiety is so high and I almost had a panic attack because I had to look at a young girl in the eyes. I keep getting sexual intrusive images and they feel so real. It feels like I like the thoughts but the thoughts also come with anxiety, twitching, and so much fear. I can’t tell who I am anymore. I was so strong in being straight and I’m terrified I was a pedo but never knew it. These thoughts feel like I truly like them and I’m so worried
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OCD
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I have a really bad habit of not brushing my teeth and it’s becoming a serious problem for me, I have braces and diabetes so that makes brushing my teeth a lot more important. I always think about brushing my teeth than just think I’ll do it later but never actually do it later. I really need to start remembering and nothing I have tried actually helps. If this has happened to anyone else what was your solution?And I know it’s already too late for me, I will need a lot of work done on my teeth because of this bad habit but I still need some way to remember and prevent the problem from getting bad again.
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ADHD
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i read a post here this morning about complusions i am not aware of like hoping and imagination and. wishing and comparing my thoughts and event with celebrities, and treating my ocd with sarcasm, but i have nothing else to think about or do other than those things, like what am i supposed to do, just like turn off my brain ? how am i even suppose to not do these things because they are a part of my day to day life... i am lost, i hate ocd.
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OCD
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So about a month Ago, at my last session with him pscyahtrist. She told me if i don't get better with taking my medicene she would have to send me to the hospital. My immune system is not good.
I'm worried about being institutionalized.
I know my parents won't send me somewhere. They already told me so. I believe them.
But I'm still worried about being sent some where. I know things with aspies are better. But i worry about ending up some place and having i go very bad. And being misdiagnosed if i was in there and then getting worse since misdiagnoses happen and then can make people worse.
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aspergers
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I just feel so all over the place, yet so invisible, and I feel like I have 10 things to do then I forget what i need to be doing after an hour. I feel like this life really isn’t for me and I’m really struggling, I’ve got so many disabilities and I’m trying but it’s so hard man, I don’t know what to do :( everything feels so foggy and the fact that I’m unsure about my future makes it a lot worse. Why are people the way they are and why am I so different, why don’t I get girls? Is it me that’s the problem?
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aspergers
|
Hey guys.
I'm F 24, and since i was a child i've had intrusive kind of self harm thoughts. When i'm on my balcony (live on the 4th floor) i frequently think about climbing on the baluster and see how it feels like.. same with sharp objects like knives or razors, i feel an urge to cut myself. When i was younger it made me distressed. For many years it was manageable, but these last months i've developed panic disorder and depression and i relapsed on this disturbing thoughts and urges again..
Anyone else experiencing something like that? it scares me and makes me feel like shit
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OCD
|
So last Friday I pissed off my parents, and they ended up grabbing me which set off my sensory issues of course. They wouldn’t let go when I asked, so I tried to escape and things escalated into a full on fight. Eventually I managed to run off and of course got as far away from them as I could. But mum called the police to look for me (I didn’t know this at the time).
Anyway, about 45min later the police car stopped me and two officers got out, and they were asking me loads of questions and coming close to me. I told them plainly and clearly that I was just walking and not breaking any laws. I told them I didn’t like all the talking, that I wanted them to be quiet, and that I didn’t like it when people touched me. I also informed them (after they threatened to detain me under the mental health act) that I had no plans to harm myself or anyone else. A few minutes later another car and 2 more officers turned up and my dad was also there (he told them I was autistic so they knew). I kept asking them to give me some space and to stop asking me lots of questions because everything was too loud. But they ignored me and then when I tried to move away all grabbed me even though I was shouting for them not to touch me. There questions were odd. They kept asking if I wanted to get in the car and when I said no, they got angry. Also they kept asking why I was stimming (which I don’t need to tell you is the worst thing to ask when an autistic person is distressed!!)
All in all, I am still terrified of people touching me, and I keep having anxiety attacks when I think about that night. I have reported the incident, but just wondering whether this is common for NDs or whether I was just unlucky??
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aspergers
|
I'm at my wits end with this awful mental illness. Since january it has been building and now it's so bad I can hardly function. I loathe the bathroom with every fiber of my being. Washing has become so extreme that the bathroom floor is starting to rot. Intrusive thoughts have found their way into my nightmares and every part of every day. Self harm has become more frequent including punching myself in the head.
Fuck this fucking illness. It preys on the worst of my anxiety and fuels my compulsions.
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OCD
|
Does the NHS recognise private ADHD diagnoses?
I've been on the waiting list for an NHS diagnosis for about 10 months with still no word from them. My employer has started offering private Bupa health insurance. If I get my diagnosis privately can I use the NHS later down the line if I change jobs to get prescriptions? Or will I have to continue paying for private healthcare to get any meds? I don't intend to stay at this job for longer than 6 months so should I just carry on with the NHS?
Thanks in advance!
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ADHD
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Alright. So my OCD symptoms and anxiety related symptoms seem to be a LOT worse around that time of the month. The guilt seeking in myself and the overall feeling of shamefulness and dread is maxed out. I’ve inwardly and outwardly screamed at myself to stop thinking. I’m going back to thoughts I haven’t had in years and feel guilty about them! About thoughts! So much so it makes me want to throw up. Is there a link between OCD and PMS or hormones?
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OCD
|
Hi there!
I started Vyvanse 30mg about a week ago. I started having awful abdomen pains saturday night and I have had quite constant pains ever since. They aren't as bad now but still quite painful, located mostly in my lower and middle back. I also have been having stomach cramps after eating/ drinking anything.I called my doctor to make an appointment but unfortunately I won't be able to see him until the 16th. I also called my pharmacist to discuss the possibility of these pains being related to vyvanse, she said there's a possibility. I am just wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar? Thank you! :)
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ADHD
|
I am very depressed. I use weed to cope and I’m addicticted. When I was caught I told them that. Now there exerting a lot of control on me, they point out all my flaws and make me feel guilty because there worried. Never again
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depression
|
I'm afraid my parents will want to stop buying vyvanse for me as it is expensive and the fist medication I have tried. I love it so far! I'm on 30mg and am wanting to increase as I find it wears of after 6 hours.
In the event that I do switch out to a cheaper generic medication, what have you tried that felt similar? I know your body is not mine and the effects can be different, but still! Adderall xr? Should I go for a 2 times per day kinda deal so I can avoid afternoon crashes?
Tell me your experience with switching meds in general, I would love to know!
I just can't wait for 2023 for generic vyvanse sigh
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ADHD
|
Hi all. My girlfriend has severe ADHD and she has frequent anxiety spirals and executive dysfunction. My question is as a boyfriend what can I do to help her when she's having severe symptoms.
Things I have done that seemed to help:
- Distract her: Watch her favorite show or play her favorite video game.
- Be goofy and say cute things about us to cheer her up.
- Make sure shes eaten enough. Get her food she likes ect.
What else can I do to support her and help her feel better? What can I do to pull her out of a spiral?
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ADHD
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You know that feeling when there's a whole bunch of things poking you for attention, something you're trying to remember to do, somebody talking to you, noises from the TV, animals underfoot, things out of place, and on, and on...? Feels like mental needles poking you all over, not physical but mental. Like if you were trying to pay attention to something and little bugs and mosquitoes were crawling all over you and biting you at random. You just wanna say "lay off!!" and throw your hands out or go "ahh!!" and run to another room.
There should be a word for that feeling.
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aspergers
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Is there a meetup group for adults with aspergers based on Europe?
There are many in US but I can not attend them due to time zone difference.
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aspergers
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Hi guys, hope everyone is doing well today. As mentioned in the title, I wanted to know what's going on in my head. For some context, I started having harm-based intrusive thoughts 8 years back and I would get panic attacks from them. 2 years ago, I had this thought of trying something new, something illegal & wrong, such as harming someone. Since I know it is morally wrong and there are repercussions, I am not planning to act on it.
Strangely, I became upset after realising I'm never able to carry out the act. It feels like an itch I couldn't scratch off (idk if this makes sense). I can't stop thinking about how nothing I do would be as exciting as harming someone. This concerns me because ocd sufferers do not enjoy their intrusive thoughts. I shouldn't either.. but it seems like I do. Is this normal? Can it be a form of OCD?
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OCD
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I was recently diagnosed with ADHD-C and was told I was in the 99th percentile (not sure what that really means in the scheme of things but the nurse who diagnosed me said it was severe), and have been trying out Elvanse, the UK’s equivalent to Vyvanse as I was told it could be life changing. I started on 30mg, then 50mg and then 70mg over the space of 3 months, but really I find that, 5 months on, I’m still exactly the same. In fact, my productivity for work has dropped, my time blindness is worse - I keep getting to the end of my days and being confused at where any of the time has gone. I keep reading that meds have changed people’s lives, more often than not, with Vyvanse. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve been misdiagnosed, but my nurse keeps telling me that if I didn’t have ADHD, the meds would have me bouncing off the walls. The one thing I have been able to do with the meds is start my days earlier, since I wake up at 6, take the meds, go back to sleep and start the day at 8am, but that’s been all. What is the life changing thing I’m supposed to be looking for? Has anyone found something worked better for them than Vyvanse?
Sorry for the ramble. I’m just thinking to stop the meds entirely right now.
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ADHD
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I have spent the past hour and a half trying to pick a game I want to play. Currently I have a show running while I just practise in one game just to keep myself occupied ('I'm not even sure I want to play this game either, I just like practising in it to keep myself busy sometimes). My indecisiveness extends to most things in life, to the point where I end up wasting hours worrying about what I want and I end up not doing anything at all. All I get is stress tbh. It's super annoying and probably one of the things I want to stop the most.
Is this a common symptom of ADHD? Does anyone have an explanation as to why? For now I've boiled it down to how stimulating something is. My brain telling me "hey, this thing looks cool, but this one looks just as cool" over and over again. Also, does anyone have any tips as to how to just pick something?
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ADHD
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It just feels like it’ll never get better. I don’t see how things could change. Every time I’m feeling slightly better, the relapse is 100 times worse. I’m done
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OCD
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Hey guys, I am taking Ritalin Adult for two months now, my doc is incredibly slow at updosing me and currently I am at 30mg (so converted to "normal" ritalin that is 15mg \[that's how that works, right?\]). For your information: I am 27, male and weigh 200 lbs / 90 kg.
I still am not sure whether it works, I guess I my focus, etc. increase but it's not so strong that I am 100% confident it works. There are some moments which I told to my therapist, who told me that sounds like the effect of ritalin, but its not daily. This whole vagueness makes me doubt my diagnosis, tbh. I read so many people here feeling directly better after medicating and I feel really the same as before :/
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ADHD
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I'm suffering from ptsd from several bad experiences and its been nearly ten years, but I think my symptoms have been getting worse recently. I signed up for a research study for ptsd treatment because I don't have health insurance right now and free therapy sounded great. I know that treatment wont make it all better right away and that it is likely to get worse first. But after 4-5 weeks of treatment I stopped going, I haven't officially "quit" but I probably will. It was so intense and so hard to handle. My symptoms got worse to where it was affecting my job performance and I've been taking unprescribed ativan from time to time just so I can function. I feel like I can't handle it anymore and ever since I stopped going to therapy I've felt so much better (go figure). Its just difficult when I'm also having to go to work and be a normal person.
What else can I try as far treatment? The research study was on exposure therapy. I'll have health insurance in a month and I could find someone in my network... I just don't even know where to begin. How can I go through intense treatment like that but still live a normal life at the same time and go to work?
Any advice is appreciated, thanks.
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ptsd
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I really want to read a self help book or go through a workbook all about OCD. If there are any Pure O books those would probably work better. I was looking through Amazon but I know a lot of the reviews are fake and I want to hear from real people who have this condition. Thanks. :)
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OCD
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I am a 19 year old male, and I was diagnosed with OCD and MDD when I was 15. I grew up in a shitty situation. My father was absent because of the Air Force, and he and my mother would cheat on each other. They eventually got a divorce, my father was in jail for a year. I lived with my mother for a year, and we were very poor. I was 6-7, my mother wasn’t good at taking care of me, my uncles were bad influences, and I was sexually manipulated by another male. Eventually, my father got custody of me. I haven’t seen my mother since then. And I always felt angry towards her for it. She hardly ever reached out to me. My father married a drunk, and she was verbally and emotionally abusive. The things she said would repeat in my head, and I would start to believe them. No one could ever love me. My own mother didn’t even want me. My father wouldn’t listen to me. I had many friends who would move away or stop talking to me altogether, worsening my obsessions. I have had a lot of ex girlfriends who have left me or cheated on me, also worsening my obsession of abandonment. I was scared to meet new people and things like that because it always felt like anyone who i have ever loved abandoned me physically and emotionally.
I am in a new relationship. Most amazing woman I have ever met in my life. Not only is she fucking gorgeous, but she understands me in ways no one has ever understood me before. And I understand her. She is my best friend, and I have never felt that way about a woman before. She has BPD, and it’s something I’m willing to work on with her. We’ve opened up a lot about ourselves to each other. And we still love each other, no matter our many flaws. We’ve even talked about wanting to get married.
Lately, it feels like my obsessions are getting in the way of my happiness. She’s had sexual partners in the past, but they were never relationships. I am her first boyfriend. But my obsessions of abandonment always cause me to feel distrusting, closed off, reserved. I have thoughts like “she’s going to leave me for one of her past sex buddies” “she hates that I have OCD” “she doesn’t love me” “she’s going to cheat on me”. I’ve talked to her about all of this before, and she always reassures me that I’m the love of her life and that I’m an amazing person. And it works, of course, but I’m sure as many of you would know, only temporarily. The thoughts always come back. And those thoughts in turn, make me extremely paranoid. One time I looked through her phone, and we had a long talk about how that was not very cool of me. I didn’t find anything. Obviously. I wouldn’t even have any reason to think she’s cheating on me, because she’s with me almost all the time, and she practically lives with me. And she shows me love like no one else has. But the thoughts come back. “She’s going to leave you for someone better.”
I’ve become extremely anxious, extremely paranoid, and it’s caused me to stay silent about my feelings. I don’t want to keep making her give me reassurance. So usually I just stick it out, let the thoughts linger, depersonalize a little bit.
It all makes me feel sick to my stomach. Pictures of her cheating on me keep flashing in my head, pictures of her leaving me, abandoning me. I don’t want these feelings. I just want to be absolutely certain that she loves me. But my thoughts make me uncertain. All this misery has led to even worse things, like unwanted suicidal thoughts, a lot of self hatred. “No one could ever love me.” “I’m not worth it” “everyone would be better off if I were dead”. I’ve even had images of me hanging myself and my gf/best friend finding me. And it scared the ever living shit out of me. And I hate it. I just want it to stop. I just want to feel loved. I know I am. I know I’m loved. But my head won’t let me believe it.
I would love to seek help. Therapy, medication, whatever would work. But I just don’t have enough money. I barely have enough money for rent. And it’s all so fucking stressful. I’m so tired. The only thing that’s kept me going is my willpower. I can never give up. I just have to keep going. My girlfriend told me
“I know you’re struggling. But some people are born to struggle. But all those struggles have made you into such an amazing man, and such a beautiful soul. You just have to keep pushing through it. I know you don’t believe you’re amazing, but you will one day.”
Hey, the grass is greener where it rains, right?
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OCD
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Hello all, I’m currently trying to figure out if I have asperger’s. I have always wondered but I have an appointment on the 12th. I wondered about the pattern recognition aspect because I’m not sure if I understand. I do certain things that I feel like only I do looking for patterns and I wanted to hear of how other people have been able to recognize patterns better than others. For instance, if I am watching a cartoon I am constantly looking at the drawn lines, trying to find the longest unbreakable line that connects all of the lines. I don’t know why I do this but it feels like I am looking for a pattern in the drawing. I can’t stop doing it either.
If I could hear some examples from others about their experiences being able to see patterns in life I would be very appreciative.
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aspergers
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I want to put this out there as an exploration of something I hadn't considered before and not to seek reassurance. I've been married 27 years, no extramarital affairs, we've had our ups and downs, but it's been a good marriage overall. Lately, there's been some added stress with our college age daughter moving home convinced that she's terminally ill, which I'm pretty sure is a combination of health anxiety and anxiety sensitivity and possibly some legitimate chronic fatigue and somatic disorder--all medical tests thus far have come back normal except some mild food allergies, but she's thought that she had lymphoma, mastocytosis, covid-19, that her spleen or gal bladder was going to rupture etc. She was supposed to start ERP last week, but her therapist abruptly stopped seeing patients due to some undisclosed personal issue and we haven't found another one yet who is taking new patients.
Anyway, the other day I had this dream that my wife and I were getting divorced, which seemed out of the blue and inconsistent with how things have been. My wife is postmenopausal and has less libido and it kind of drives me crazy if we haven't had sex for a few weeks. I have brought up that she could get medication to help with libido, but she has flat out told me that she's not going to talk to the Dr about that. So, I find myself nattering to myself about that and that it doesn't matter to her, and therefore that I don't matter to her. Then I start analyzing and reviewing things that she says from the perspective that she's criticizing or belittling me, or that she's mad or upset with me. Intellectually, I can say this is crazy, but it feels real.
When we do have sex, it feels like it helps for a few days, but pretty soon I start reviewing trying to remember when was the last time we had sex and sometimes it feels like it's been weeks, but I'm not sure. Sometimes, I make a note of it on a private calendar so I can compare the reality with my experience, but I'm pretty sure that itself is reassurance seeking and a compulsion. I don't think I check the calendar very often, and I haven't been consistent about using it, but I do have checking thoughts that maybe I should have put it on the calendar so that I could be sure.
Lately, sometimes I've been thinking half-joking that maybe I should just become a monk so that I wouldn't have to think about this anymore, but obviously that's just aversion and avoidance and not a solution. It would be better to just sit with the uncertainty and learn to tolerate it. Maybe we will never have sex again. Maybe it's been weeks or months since we last had sex. Maybe she finds me unattractive or even repulsive.
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OCD
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Hi! I was just diagnosed within the last month and started taking my prescription within the last 2 weeks. I’m on a dose of 10mg of adderall. I’ve noticed this really weird side effect I can’t name, I wish I knew what to call it. It’s hard to explain. It feels like a buzzing around my head, and pressure on the inside. I’m doing a good job of eating and staying hydrated, and I’ve slept enough. I don’t know what it is, but it’s a tingly sort of feeling and it’s making me anxious simply because it’s completely unfamiliar to me. Anyone else experience this?
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ADHD
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I’ve never got so much as a parking ticket, but watching the atrocities other people are capable of just completely sets me off panicking about whether I’ll be guilty of the same things.
It goes without saying that I have no intention of committing heinous crimes, but knowing that it’s possible for someone else to do it is enough to send me spiralling on a bad day.
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OCD
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Hi all....
I am a near death experience survivor and these days death is all I think about. It is making the world around me feel entirely phony because it is so temporary. I can't rationalize out of the thoughts. I don't see any point in making my life better when it is all meaningless anyhow in the end. No difference if I suffer or if I'm happy as can be. I wish I was never born, or I died back in 2015 when I was meant to.
I tried posting earlier but got no response. if anyone has any advice id really appreciate it. Love
​
\-B
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ptsd
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Warning: This post contains a good amount of rambling, reader discretion is advised.
I have a lot of personal conflict with this statement, it seems good in theory but it always rubs me the wrong way for some reason.
I know it’s not an entirely negative statement but hearing that can sometimes make me feel more isolated than appreciated, especially during the times when it doesn’t feel like a gift or superpower.
e.g. Meltdowns, Post Meltdowns, The inability to human efficiently, social difficulties etc.
It’s usually Neurotypicals who say this as well (from my experience anyway (I’ve never heard this from another autistic person IRL)).
Adding to this it fuels my negative bias towards my autism because it feels like it’s trivialising a deep and complex issue.
Personally I don’t think it’s a very good gift if I often want to make a return, though that might just be my personal gripes with my condition talking, haha.
I do, however, feel grateful that I’m capable of living independently and i’m not living in a care home for the rest of my life.
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aspergers
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I’ve always had really really bad anxiety and irrational fears surrounding social interactions but lately it’s transferring over to my email use for work.
I constantly worry about whether or not I phrased something correctly or if I’m checking it enough. This has led to me constantly refreshing and deleting emails. Whenever I send an email I get scared I’ll be fired from my job just because I may not have phrased things in a friendly enough tone. My boss loves me so I know it’s completely irrational but I can’t stop it! It also doesn’t help that before deadlines I get emails from colleagues as late as 11pm.
Today I turned off my email notifications on my phone because my tech related anxiety was getting super bad. I’m hoping that helps, but damn do I feel crazy.
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OCD
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One of my biggest struggles with my PTSD is my projection onto my kids. I am constantly terrfied that something will happen to them. Due to me being abused pretty badly as a child. My kids Dad moved to the other side of the country a few months back and is wanting to take them for a few weeks this summer. This is giving me horrible horrible anxeity. The total lack of control, them being in a home with a strange man (their dads girl friends father) them possibly visiting rest stops on the 17 hour drive. I know I cant keep them from their Dad that would be cruel. I just dont know how i will possibly survive 2 full weeks of this.
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ptsd
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I am sorry if I come off rude or anything. I haven't slept in almost 2 days now, so my grammar and etc. won't be the best.
I guess the best way to start is from the top. I didn't get diagnosed with PTSD until I was in college and that was because I would sleep 20 min at a time. But, I have never had a job. I have volunteered many places, for example the horse farm down the street from my house or the local animal shelter. I dropped out of college because of how bad it got, with the sleeping and the anxiety.
I've been living with my boyfriend's family since then. I tried working but, the whole no sleep and flashbacks made it so I only lasted 2 days. I tried doing that write captions for videos thing, but found that being dyslexic doesn't help with that. I got frustrated and had a panic attack. I do art commissions and make pennies.
I know I am an all around piece of shit that that needs a job. I am stupid and should have it fixed by now. A lazy lay about that does nothing. My boyfriend deserves better, he can't work as much as he wants because he hurt his knee. I should be the one picking up the slack. But, here I am barely able to leave the house. I can't even do a simple computer job. The real world doesn't care that I have PTSD. I really do just want it to disappear so I can live. So I can work. So I can be a good girlfriend.
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ptsd
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TW: flashbacks, symptoms related to ptsd
I would like to start this by saying that I would never judge someone for showing symptoms, this is strictly my views towards myself.
I find whenever I show symptoms related to my diagnosis, i feel extremely guilty/shameful. I always feel awful for those around me having to experience what I go through.
For example I had an unexpected flashback the other night while i was at my girlfriends house. After it had happened, I was overcome with guilt for “letting it happen” and I apologized to my girlfriend profusely.
I was wondering if anyone had this shared feeling, or had any advice with how to feel less insecure regarding their ptsd
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ptsd
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Ranting. I feel really lonely when I’m in a state of hyperarousal. I feel like I don’t get along with anyone unless I’m being super fake and trying to hide my symptoms which is really exhausting.
I don’t tell my friends how I feel because I’m embarrassed to feel this way and think the thoughts that I do.
It’s confusing because I’ll be doing fine and feel really great for a week or two and then all of a sudden the nightmares are back and I’m in that state again. It’s difficult because when I feel fine it makes me doubt I have ptsd and it brings me down because being diagnosed has been helpful in making me feel valid. Idk just a rambling rant. Good night. Sweet dreams 😃
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ptsd
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\*Delete if not allowed\*
So, I've been at this new job just shy of three months.
And the first month was great. They loved how good I was at a lot of things.
But now I'm focusing on details.
Let me back up. I work at a staffing agency. My job involves sending out on boarding paperwork, running background checks, scheduling drug screens, and then hiring them into the system once everything is completed. Part of hiring them in involves putting in peoples bank information for direct deposit.
I hired a person in, and put her bank information in wrong. I missed a number. When I hired her in, her file got double checked. They missed it too.
She got paid today, which is why we know something wasn't put in right.
So I'm over here, sitting at my desk, in a complete and utter panic because I've been trying so hard to do this job right (it's my first office job, they know it, and I told them I have PTSD), and it feels like every time I get back up on my feet i'm being kicked back down again.
Part of me is absolutely deathly terrified they're going to fire me for this. Part of me wants to pack up my desk and leave and never come back.
I literally hate that this is my life. That every little thing "triggers" me with this job.
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ptsd
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I’m going to keep this quick. I just need validation.
I was in an abusive relationships for 4 months, about 6 years ago. It was emotional and mental abuse. It ended in a domestic violence report with a court case I had to make a victim/witness statement for. This court case was... 5? Years ago.
A friend of mine has recently been displaying some... concerning I guess behaviour regarding an ex girlfriend of his. For example, stalking her social media, crying over the relationship that ended mutually, harassing her by phone call/ text, manipulating her, those type of things.
Recently since their behaviour started I’ve had such bad anxiety about my ex boyfriend. We last spoke a few years ago, it was civil and not bad at all. But I’m terrified. I can’t eat or sleep. Anyway I’m just wondering could my friends off behaviour be triggering my anxiety about a precious relationship?
Sorry. I did not keep this short. And I hope I’m making sense. Thank you for reading.
Edit: thank you everyone for your kind words of support and guidance. I appreciate you all so much. What an amazing subreddit & group of people.
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ptsd
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I want to work in IT, but I don't want to work this much. It is a full-time education, you are supposed to do 40 hours with two 40 hour week obligatory internships that I still have to do.
I get upset constantly because I don't want to dedicate my life to something, and letting other important/fun things go. I just want a part-time job after graduation. But before that happens I have to get through this.
I like programming, but I also want to play games, hang out with friends and family, play music, watch anime, movies and series.
With college there is a risk of getting a bad grade and having to do even more hours of work because of the resit. The resit time also intervenes with the time you have for the next semester or current assignment. I am constantly forced to work hard to get a good grade. It is not about passion anymore, but survival.
I wish I could just choose: I will only do school 20 hours a week. I would probably fail a lot if I did that with the current program.
I have often no energy for games or to learn music because my energy was stolen by the education during the day.
Every night I am just watching anime or Netflix to try to compensate and be happy. However, that makes me tired the next day or set an alarm clock late in the morning so that I don't have much time during the day for school and fun.
If I can't find a part-time job after graduation, I will lose all will to live. For now, I am holding on with the hope that I can. I heard that in my country it is really an option. But it just takes a big toll to get to that point. I could step out and try to find such job now, but without a graduation, the chances of getting such job are lower.
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aspergers
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Hi again!
My girlfriend has PTSD and has so many questions, but is too afraid to ask. Because of that I am asking all questions on her behalf. She asked: I have these moments where I start staring off and thinking about things that trigger me. People have mentioned for years that they will see a change in my facial expressions when this happens. How can I stop or at least help control this? I have a very hard time seeking mental health care because of many bad experiences. One of which was being diagnosed and medicated for the wrong disorder for 10 years. What can I do without a therapist to help myself? Are there any book I can read? Worksheets? At home coping mechanisms? Please help me. I don’t know what to do and I don’t want my relationship to suffer because of it. (As her girlfriend that’s not going to happen but she wanted me to put it down)
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ptsd
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I see the phrase get tossed around a lot and I've been interpreting it as "having low empathy levels" which I'm starting to think might be wrong. (I don't doubt that there are autists that have low empathy, btw, just so you know. And there's nothing wrong with having lower empathy levels, I'm just confused here.)
Is it more like an object permanence type of thing? Or what?
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aspergers
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I have been dealing with lack of motivation that has slowly grown over the past couple years
I recently have become emotionally numb (few days ago) and lack much joy in doing anything. I feel like I'm living someone else's life as my memories don't even feel like my own anymore. Stuck in this dull state I don't even feel like living anymore. Things I used to enjoy seem pointless. I feel as if I'm falling down a black void.
I am envious of my younger self that enjoyed things and was content with life. I long for the days when I didn't have to worry about current world events and the world made sense.
I feel beside myself. Dissociation seems to be what I'm experiencing.
Is this normal for depression? Does it ever get better?
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depression
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Hey friends,
What really bugs me here is the rigid avoidance of giving reassurance. I know I know accept uncertainty and so on is what we should do but come on guys when there is someone near suicide or harming himself do you think it is wise to tell him you ll never know, just accept uncertainty. I was at that point myself and I dont know if I would ve killed myself but I believe there are certainly people who did this. So I propose to evaluate those posts first instead of blindly following rules. I do not argue for giving reassurance everytime but at specific posts where you know that the person is a danger for themselves or others I think it is better to do that.
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OCD
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Hey all, I know this topic seems to be covered a lot here, but I'm looking for some insight because I've been rather distressed lately.
Little about me:
I am an anxiety suffer.
My last 6 months have been very stressful, between uni,
work, and health issues with my stomach. As well, I had a dpdr episode that lasted 3 months after smoking weed.
No one in my family has a history of schizophrenia
I don't use any substance besides nicotine.
All my "perceived" hallucinations basically started after watching a video about schizophrenia.
One night while going to sleep, after watching the said video, I began to experience what I can best describe as a somewhat uncontrollable inner dialogue. I would randomly hear songs, people I knew talking about topics, such as hearing my manager talk about work related things. It sacred me enough to jolt me out of bed. When I went to work the next day, I was terrified. I work in a very loud automotive environment, people are always yelling something or making funny noises, singing along with the radio etc.
When I'm at work, I constantly mishear people and 2 times I thought I heard my name called, but as far I could tell, no one was talking to me. We are also all wearing masks so it's hard to tell who is saying what regardless. Ever since, I have been on edge. I feel like I've experienced hallucinations with every single one of my senses. I see movement out of the corner of my eye. I jump at every odd noise when I'm alone. I also feel very itchy sometimes. Also this morning, I got a random almost metallic taste in my mouth. I believe it may be from vaping and the resulting vape juice hitting my tongue, but im not sure.
I'm questioning every perception, behavior, and thought I have at this point. I'm researching schizophrenia to no end. I really feel like I could be in the prodromal phase but I really have no idea. Anybody have any ideas? Thanks and also sorry for the novel.
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OCD
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For the past 3 months, I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts about a certain topic that has wrecked me mentally, simply due to the implications of them. I tried to combat these thoughts, mostly by proving them wrong, but I've found that it hasn't done much. Sometimes it does feel like I've conquered them, but then they get worse. It's come to a point I just try to ignore them and desperately try to distract myself with anything else (video games, walking, showering) but I feel like that also makes them worse if I'm not actively fighting them. Does this make sense? What should I do?
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OCD
|
I haven't been in a relationship in 8 years and haven't done the horizontal tango in 5. Every time I think I'm getting somewhere with a guy, he ghosts me. I mean I'm not ugly, I am BBW. But someone has to like me. I am just so tired and want to sleep all day. I am so lonely I am wondering what the point of living is again.
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depression
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Hey everyone! I am a first time poster here, so if this post breaks any rules please let me know, so that I can amend it.
Basically, I am just wondering at what point y’all knew to get help. I’ve been thinking for a year or so that I probably have ADHD, but I didn’t think it was severe enough to bother anyone with. I also sometimes doubt if I have it since I am fairly successful in some areas that it seems like everyone struggles with. Up until last year I’ve always been a straight A student and I basically never studied except reviewing my notes right before a test started. Last year didn’t go as well for me since we moved to virtual classes and I struggled to pay attention in class. I still did fairly well, but received the first B and C I’ve ever had. I also had to drop out of another class because I knew I would fail if I stayed in. I dropped out for this semester because my performance was declining rapidly.
I’ve also been fairly successful in my workplace and had a steady job since I was 16. I work in a fast food restaurant and I am one of the head managers. I feel like it is a job that would reward someone with ADHD though because it’s always busy and something new and challenging is constantly happening.
I know that those are often two huge challenges for those with ADHD, so having some success there makes me question it. However, days like today make me think I do have it. I have a key to the restaurant and I lost it for the second time in 8 months today. I know it’s a huge deal and I had even bought a $20 key ring, so that it would be attached to my body and I still lost it somehow. I don’t even know where it could be. Not sure if I am just the most forgetful person ever or if i have an actual issue that I should get help for.
I also seem to show some of the symptoms. I don’t want to self diagnose, but staying on top of both school and work has become increasingly difficult. I’m also worried about going and being told I don’t have it and feeling dumb for thinking I might.
I feel like maybe I should see someone, but reading things here it seems like many of you struggle to get help even if you have severe symptoms. I also don’t even know how to approach finding a doctor. I haven’t been to a regular doctor in almost 5 years, so I don’t know where to start.
Im just wondering how all of you knew it was time to get help and how you deal with the fear of taking that first step.
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ADHD
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I haven’t been able to find much literature on what I am about to inquire. If anyone is not familiar with thought action fusion, it is basically a cognitive distortion within OCD that causes the sufferer to believe that a thought is equal to or equivalent to actually carrying out the thought. It is the same within the moral compass.
With this in mind, has anyone ever said or done something, and then feared that they have implied a bad thought that was in connection to what was said or done, therefore over exaggerating the whole situation to make sure you didn’t imply the thought?
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OCD
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I’ll put my review I left on Google reviews first and then say more about my experience.
1/5 stars
Honestly, I can’t even begin to start with what went wrong. I’ve had to go through even more therapy because of the trauma I’ve been through here and the abuse I’ve received. I was basically socially outcasted for a month (my parents pulled me out after a month) and I remember a patient was made to clean up another patient’s shit and the staff got physical with patients sometimes. There were fights all the time and the staff barely did anything about it and some of the staff were pretty rude, I can’t remember all the names though. The food was pretty bad too. There were basically no good activities. It wasn’t clean and my room had bugs and filth. I was crying every day cuz I missed home and my therapist didn’t do much to help and in fact she called me a manipulator for crying. I tried to kill myself in there and still didn’t receive therapy for another 3 weeks and mrs bretski was a horrible therapist. Another patient was making threats towards me and mrs bretski told me I just had to deal with it and a week later she came into my room and started beating me and it took a long time for them to pull her out even after I was screaming bloody murder and she got no punishment. I was sent to the other wing on the hall with the other half of the girls but they let the girl that beat me up on that wing and she beat me up again. I thought that maybe writing a review would help me because it’s a warning for parents, I hope that no one has to go what I’ve gone through.
That’s my review on the site, I’ll explain more. They wouldn’t do anything for fights and the girl who beat me up left bruises all over the side of my head and my neck and shoulder and she kept punching those areas over and over and over and it took them a long time to pull her out. Sometimes when we were walking, if you were slightly out of line they would tackle you down to the ground with brute force and they broke a kids chin and almost neck when she was pushed down I heard. People tried to run all the time, there was a group of really strong men that tackled and put kids in holds and sedated kids called fao and they would drive around in a van picking kids up. Also, once I was brushing my teeth and I vomited partly because I was so stressed and my gag reflex, and they saw the chunks of pineapple and made me eat it out of the sink because it was “good food”. They also made a girl clean up someone else’s shit and didn’t care when I attempted suicide and there was a problem with people smuggling razors in and they didn’t know for a long time.
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ptsd
|
I've had an impending sense of doom following me around all week, and it's been manageable up until today. Earlier it had progressed through the day so it was easier to cope with, but today I woke up scared of the world.
I wish I could stay in bed and keep the people I care about close to me, but I still went to work. I really hope today goes by quickly.
|
ptsd
|
I don't feel comfortable when people ask me to keep secrets from other people or tell me about something they said about me and then ask me not to say anything or repeat it. I always end up braking these secrets because there to much pressure on me and i don't like secrets. But i am told that it's wrong not to keep secrets this confuses me.
|
aspergers
|
Has anyone else had this? I don't know what I was expecting, but these meds seem quite controversial and regulated, so I sort of expected to feel something...more. There's maybe just a very little tingling in my hands and feet, but I might even be imagining that. Anyone out there had a similar experience?
Thanks for any responses!
|
ADHD
|
Exercise is the only thing that does the trick. I finally feel human for an hour or so after my workout. But it's gone very quickly. So I have a healthy body to contain my miserable soul and my personality of a piss soaked rag. If my body was a physical manifestation of my psyche I'd probably be a half-dead cockroach.
I feel like I tried everything. I just want to disappear. I'll never be good at anything. I'll never find love. What's the point? Am I supposed to live out my days and watch other people live my dreams and do things that I wish I could so... effortlessly?
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depression
|
I'm new to university. I encounter a problem that I'm unable to solve. I spend hours trying to do it, can't, decide to ask for help. I sent two emails to the module manager, the person you're supposed to pose questions about the module's content to, explaining two different of my incorrect methods and requesting, politely, an explanation as to why I'm wrong. I am met with what was essentially a reprimand.
"It is inappropriate to send several emails to an academic on a weekend, expecting a response. It is also inappropriate to ask several of us the same question."
I didn't send several emails, I sent two, both of which were as succinct as I can be. I didn't ask several lecturers, I asked my personal tutor, a discussion board, and her. I was at the very least semi-formal; I had no idea that straight line prosaic formality was required.
Now, honestly, I just want to quit. I feel stupid and bored and stupid. And embarrassed. I don't know how I'm supposed to speak to these people and am afraid to do so again, which is stupid. This is all irrational. Her intentions were obviously just the establishment of boundaries early on so as to avoid any confusion about the nature of my relationship with tutors. But brain don't care. I want to vanish forever. My enthusiasm and self-belief has been vacuumed from me with one innocuous email. I'm done.
|
ADHD
|
I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to childhood trauma. I had never received therapy nor talked about the abuse before. I’ve been coping by ignoring that it had ever happened. I almost feel like talk therapy is re-traumatizing, and I experienced increased irritability and hyper vigilance after my first two sessions. Is this normal, or do I need a different therapist? Or a different approach to treatment? Does it get easier to talk about trauma? Thank you for any insight you’re willing to share.
|
ptsd
|
So 5 months ago i developed Depersonalization Derealisation disorder after a bad experience with weed and ever since then my ocd has gotten slightly worse. I feel guilty everyday i feel like everything i say and or do is wrong for example telling where i went today for a journey is wrong because it could make them jealous? I feel so guilty and wrong is this normal? What's going on help please
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OCD
|
Apologies for the long post. This turned out much longer than I expected!
I have moderate-severe emet (fear of throwing up). I'd rank it like 7/10 - it definitely impacts my life negatively but it isn't completely debilitating. For example, I hate flying because I'm worried that the turbulence is going to make me v\*, not necessarily that it's going to make the plane go down. But I still fly when I need to - I just stress about it for a couple weeks in advance and lose sleep over it lol.
As my username suggests, I also have obsessive intrusive thoughts about music as well as a hand-washing compulsion. The music thoughts seemed to replace a counting compulsion that I had for years, but that's another story.
After therapy for about a year, things haven't really improved. We've tried some talk therapy, some CBT, some EMDR. The therapy helps with my anxiety but not with my OCD, which seems to be the bigger issue for me. I'm debating finding a new therapist that specializes in OCD or attempting medication, something that makes me very uneasy.
Just curious if there is a generally accepted path where the fear of throwing up causes the OCD, or if the OCD causes the fear of throwing up. Seems like they would have similar but different treatment options, but maybe I'm wrong. Thanks for reading!
|
OCD
|
Hello all,
I suffered from repeated depression since the age of 21 and have been in a depression for the better part of 3 years, mostly due to work related problems, though not exclusively. But the last 2-3 months have been very good, and I think I haven’t felt this good in years. I even told this to my psychiatrist 1 ½ weeks ago, but I was on vacation back then. Since returning to work this Thursday my supervisor has returned to backstabbing and bullying me again and the quantity of my work is just too much for me to deal with and I feel like shit again and had a severe mood drop.
Has any of you guys ever experienced such rapid mood swings, like you’ve gone from feeling great to utter shit within a few days? This rapid decrease of my mood is really making me very anxious. I am solely diagnosed with depression and not with BPD or bipolar disorder, just for clarification.
I’d like to get an appointment with my psychiatrist again, but I fear that he might feel mocked or played by me as I told him last week that I feel so great at the moment. What should I do I am at my witts end and totally overwhelmed. I’m thankful for any advice.
TLDR: From feeling great to feeling shit within a week. What to do?
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depression
|
I am using fluoxetine for some time and i have ocd about medicine will it go away?
|
OCD
|
I think for me, death has lost its meaning. In my vocabulary at least, the definition of death is escape. So when I see news of people dying, the first thought that pops off my head is: I’m happy for them, at least they won’t get to live in this world anymore.
I keep projecting my emotions onto these people who had just lost their lives. Forgetting that their view of life, their circumstances, their relationships, and environment isn’t the same as mine. Just because my life is shitty doesn’t mean theirs is. These people might have loving families waiting for them— aspirations that they’re close to achieving.
So yeah, I want to get rid of these thoughts. Not just keep them by myself.
|
depression
|
So i took my adderall and this doesn’t always happen when I am on it but today i had a really good night and didn’t gave severe social anxiety like I usually do. My mind feels a little clearer too and i seem to listen and stay interested better. The only issue is that i have been having shortness of breath when I take it and it stays for like a day or two after i don’t take it. I have been kind of taking it irregularly so idk.. I am also really scared of the bad effects of taking it longterm, but what if i have to? I guess i don’t really know what to do I want to have motivation, be a sociable person, have my life in order, be able to focus etc but its like what if its costing my health? I am scared to get addicted..
|
ADHD
|
I am extremely frustrated, now that the covid-19 virus has come to my country, the psychiatric is in lockdown for the next 2 weeks, and I have just gotten to the worst and most intense part of the PE therapy...
I feel more angry, barely able to be a mom. Extremely anxious, can't even go buy groceries etc. I really feel like falling back into a selfdestrictive pattern... and it is so freaking hard.
Is this reaction of mine normal? I mean considering the circumstanse?
|
ptsd
|
I’m so sick of this illness. I’ve been so stressed lately, my ocd has gotten worse. I’ve tried just relaxing and not completing my compulsions but I can’t. The meds make me feel calmer I guess because I’m here making this post and using my phone which I otherwise wouldn’t be doing if I wasn’t on them, but there’s still that need in the back of my mind to wash my hands again. I usually wash them 5 times. I’ve been trying just doing it 4 times and trying to relax but it doesn’t work :( I miss taking naps. I’m so tired to my core but whenever I’m done with my routines, it’s like I’m keyed up because of the anxiety and then i can’t sleep. I’m exhausted.
|
OCD
|
A suicide note? A will? Some statement that would save people around me from being implicated? A confirmation that funeral services and related stuff are part of my healthcare benefits? A note to my landlord so they don't expect rent to be paid by anyone I know?
|
depression
|
So recently i’ve been feeling so depressed.
There is so much going on in my life and I just don’t know what to do. I get overwhelmed so easily and find myself going to the bathroom with my phone, not because i need to go, but because i need alone time.
I’ve been an inpatient before and found that really helped me and i’m afraid that i need it again.
Time to get away from everything and everyone. I know it’s sad, but I really enjoyed having a professional available to talk to about my feelings without feeling judged.
I love my family so much and there’s already so much going on that I hate knowing that if i told someone how i felt, it would stress them out even more.
My chest constantly feels heavy, i constantly want to cry.
I’ve thought about it for a while and I think I just need some alone time. Somewhere I can have a moment of silence to think and maybe write?
But the thing is, where could I go without spending a fortune :(
I don’t want to go to a friends house or anything… ugh i don’t know.
|
depression
|
I (20f) have been living with ptsd for over a decade now. I was abused by separate people at a young age who unfortunately are unable to be prosecuted.
I went to my local GP (UK) who gave me a ‘prognosis’ of PTSD. His words were ‘I believe you are correct and I believe you have PTSD’.
I tried to pursue getting a specialist to be formally diagnosed, but the pandemic hit and as of current I cannot get through to my GP to even get the ball rolling on this.
I do have private healthcare through the company I work for, but I haven’t yet checked if they cover this kind of thing as from what I understand I need a referral first. It sounds stupid, but I don’t want to have to jump through hoops again.
I work shift work, although currently I’m on days Mon-Fri.
I need some advice.
1. How do I get a formal diagnosis
2. Have any of you known/use a service that provides therapy that would be suitable for someone who works shifts.
My issue is that I don’t want to have to leave work regularly for this. It’s impacted my life enough as it is and I love my job, it’s somewhere I feel useful, valued and comfortable. I don’t think what happened to me needs to affect my day to day any more than it has already.
Any advice would be appreciated.
|
ptsd
|
21F. Suffer from severe OCD and is being medicated for the same. I have intrusive thoughts and guilt issues. Yesterday I went out with my friends. I was sober. My friend got completely drunk and was almost about to pass out. But since I didn't want him to passout as it would be bad, I kept feeding him pizza even tho he was almost super unconscious. I thought it's good to give food. I forced him to eat pizza. And later he puked. I feel bad now. Plus my friend said that I shouldn't have given pizza cuz he could've choked. Now I feel like I endangered his life.
|
OCD
|
I'm 23 years old, virgin, male, medical student and diagnosed with Autism, with very high sex drive but bad social skills (2nd percentile in an official psychological test I took) to satisfy my sexual needs. Neurotypicals are way too socially skilled for me to have a relationship that is fulfilling for them, and there are no available autism focused dating apps. I live in a town of 100k inhabitants and i'm already desperate. What is your advice for me?
|
aspergers
|
Would appreciate any fresh insights and tips for this condition.
Would like to clarify straight away that I am not talking about a "regular" earworm everyone has now and then but about musical obsessions where songs get stuck in the head 24/7 from the moment you wake up till you go to bed and cause you distress.
A small introduction to my case: The obsessions started in the morning after partying with a lot of music, alcohol and smoking weed - was afraid that it made me psychotic until my therapist told me it was OCD.
I was 8 weeks on Vortioxetine and the benefit was only marginal, now 10 weeks on Duloxetine and I feel very much better but having taken antidepressants for panic disorder and depression before I feel there could still be room for improvement but I don't know if I should expect a full resolution of OCD symptoms or just accept the improvement I am having now. I am also doing CBT with my doctor but I can't tell if it is really helping or not. AFAIK ERP is useless for musical obsessions. My doctor is also considering trying antipsychotics but I doubt it would work for OCD.
Therefore, any tips or success stories would be very much appreciated!
Cheers! :)
|
OCD
|
I've read about people who have suicidal thoughts because of OCD. How could I know if that's happening to me? I can't stop thinking that I want to kill myself no matter what I do. My mind can't let it go and I feel trapped with the feeling of wanting to kill myself and it won't go away.
|
OCD
|
sometimes i’ll think that i’m happy but really i was just distracted, it’s like i don’t remember what being happy is like anymore. i went to a concert a couple of weeks ago of my favorite artist and even then i couldn’t feel happy. i was distracted for the first couple of songs and then i just wanted to leave and lay down on my bed. i don’t think i’ve been actually happy in years and haven’t felt anything but sadness or anger. idk if that’s just me or if anyone else can relate.
|
depression
|
getting medication on wednesday and i know it can be different for everyone but was just wondering how long it took to make any improvements or if it made any people worse etc with different types?
|
OCD
|
Today, a coworker texted me asking if I want to help her clean her house after work tomorrow (for pay). I am leaving my job soon, and really appreciate this coworker, so I said yes, as I want to keep being friends with this person and this is an opportunity to help her and spend time outside work. However, I'm starting to become anxious, and shakey.
I was homeless for a year when I was 18. During that time, I was briefly taken in my a few people, at different points. These people didn't take me in out of kindness, though, I was taken in as a punching bag that couldn't fight back, as a pawn in their interpersonal drama, or for them to gain social brownie points, only to toss me out immediately or abuse me. In particular, it was a frequent occurrence that I would be told to clean, with no direction or instruction, and then brutally punished or verbally assaulted for not cleaning perfectly, how they wanted, as fast as they wanted, ect. Or I was expected to clean something I had no idea needed to be cleaned, without being told, and then abused for not reading their mind.
So, I have a lot of trauma and anxiety around cleaning in general, but mostly cleaning around other people. Particularly in other people's houses/cleaning other people's things. I think about going over to my coworker's house and cleaning it, and I feel a deep pit of terror in my stomach, I feel fear squeezing my heart. I feel like I'm going to be punished or like my life/safety is on the verge of being robbed from me.
I know that my coworker can't take the roof from over my head, that she would never hurt me, that even if I'm terrible at cleaning and she gets frustrating or mad it's not the end of the world, but I feel so small and afraid. But..... I want to go anyway. First because I want to keep my promise that I would help, and second that I want to be brave. I \*am\* brave. I know this, because I have faced so many incredibly painful and terrifying things, and recently, I've faced lots of triggering and uncertain situations and faced them head on. I want to be brave. I'm going to try to go. I'm gonna do my best.
......this is a friend helping out a friend and hanging out at their place. A normal life situation, a part of friendship and being an adult. Not a situation of desperation, of fearing every move I make, any mistake, of my life being on the line and the other person having power over me. I am alive and safe.
|
ptsd
|
This stuff is truly an exhausting nightmare I don’t know how to not spin any mundane thought or stimuli into a trigger for ocd to play and tourment me with. It feels like as time goes by ocd finds new ways of abusing my weaknesses and making life more challenging. My self doubt goes through the roof and it destroys every other facet of life. It sucks and makes me feel lonely. I have a hard time looking ahead with hope amidst the depths of despair I just want to live.
|
OCD
|
I know us with PTSD need to be careful when alcohol is concerned. But part of my PTSD is related to an even 18yrs ago today.
I still can't watch TV nor read the news headlines. I spend every 9/11 wondering if I or my friends are going to be forced to relive something happening like that moment again. I mourn for my friends I lost. I mourn for the families of those that were lost. I try and often fail to celebrate the bravery of everyone that survived and helped others do the same. But most of all I pray!
So a toast to everyone that survived and remembers. To those that we lost! And to those that gave up their lives so other could survive. And to those that still fight for their lives because of that terrible day. A remembrance to all of those who went to work or boarded a plane thinking it was just another day.
You all have my prayers and I salute you!
|
ptsd
|
I’ve recently found out the term for what happens to me .. age regression.. a lot of people do this “for fun” and I always thought it was strictly deliberate. For me it isn’t at all. I’ve been really embarrassed by it for years now. After I was kind of able to look at my abuse done to my younger self as separate from me (it was too much I’m good at removing myself emotionally) it got more intense. I have experiences of extreme separate states of self ever since I can remember. When I age regress and I go too young, my adult self will take care of my young self. Make food, get a kids movie on.. etc.. Normally when that happens there’s two sets of thought pattern in my head and I can move one arm, or my legs etc as my adult self, but my younger self has control of the rest of my body. I had to calm my younger self down to go to sleep a while back because she was trapped in a certain memory. I sleep with a certain stuff animal still so that calmed her down..
I’m not sure if this is “normal” in age regression or something that’s more concerning? Is it normal to have extreme different states of self when it comes to trauma?
It can effect my daily life... ive spent hours/days at a time regressed.. it hasn’t happened much that past month or so due to some adult stresses. But it can really effect my life.. I’ve had severe trauma.. and am always stuck in my trauma..
|
ptsd
|
I currently work a 9 to 5 with a 30 minute commute each way, so I spend about 9 hours out for work each day.
The job itself is fine, but it’s definitely just a job to save up money. There are some times where there is a lot to do, but I often have a lot of downtime. I feel like I spend hours a day on my phone because I’m just waiting for something to come up.
And the issue is that when I get home, I am exhausted. I’m just completely wiped. It’s made it borderline impossible for me to do anything when I get home, from cooking to cleaning to even playing games.
I am currently in talks to potentially take on a new job that seems to have much more that I would be doing. But I worry it might be too much.
I’m currently on Adderall XR, and just started taking a small amount of IR to boost me in the afternoon. It seems to be helping a bit, but it’s still too early to tell.
Looking at this other job, I’m trying to figure out if my exhaustion might be because of a lack of stimulation at my current position. If so, this new position might actually be helpful. I’m curious to hear from others about their experiences.
|
ADHD
|
so my therapist said i have OCD but over the summer i was dealing with intense intrusive thoughts and now im not, i still have intrusive thoughts but i know how to deal and manage it. now i just obsess over the past constantly, my past actions, how people will react, if people will still like me, obsessions of going to jail.
and overall its hard for me to even enjoy my life anymore, whenever i get advice or self help i feel like it doesnt apply to me, like im the exception to the advice because im so bad beyond saving. i get over one thing, then obsess over the next, and then things come back. and its a never ending cycle of CONSTANT guilt and shame.
and i feel that i deserve it, this pain im in is my punishment for the things i did and i deserve to live this life of misery.
if you are curious about my actions check some of my recent posts or message me!
i just want to know if this is still even OCD, the only compulsion i can think of that i do is constantly coming on here and posting and messaging people constantly for advice. which is what im doing right now. the only way for me to be okay is to get advice or reassurance but that never sticks long term
|
OCD
|
In my dreams, when I'm awake, I get thoughts and even groinal response (I hope its false attraction) to things that disgust me. I really want to be sure I don't like them but I can't. Why tf would I get groinals WHEN IM ASLEEP if I didn't like it😔. I'm undiagnosed aswell. These things are so specific. I feel like a pervet.
|
OCD
|
I took my meds kinda late,4-5 pm, because I have an important exam I wanted to study for, but instead of feeling the usual focus, I felt overly stimulated (?) and got super tired. I was extremely unproductive it was like my normal adhd was amplified and I felt like shit, partly because I was unable to study and was stressed. Then I decided to take a shower because nothing was working and had the urge to turn off the light and sit in the bathtub with the shower on. I felt very much at peace, which usually doesn’t happen without some background noise or engaged in an activity. After sitting in the shower for like 40 mins I got out and took a walk outside, I felt amazing, energetic and happy. This should have been a little after the meds would have worn off. Has anyone had something similar?
|
ADHD
|
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