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Homer, that's not a good thing. | Are you kidding? It's a wondrous, marvelous thing. Marge, I need you more than anyone else on this entire planet could possibly ever need you. I need you to take care of me, to put up with me, and most of all, I need you to love me, because I love you. |
But, how do I know I can trust you? | Marge, look at me! We've been separated for a day, and I'm as dirty as a Frenchman. In another few hours, I'll be dead. I can't afford to lose your trust again. |
Look, Dad. I missed you so much, I couldn't concentrate in school and I got an "F". | Hey, this is dated two weeks ago. |
And I have a special present for you, but I'll give it to you later tonight. | Special present?! I don't wanna wait! I want it now! I want the children to see. Oh. Right. Later. |
So Marge, are you really happy, really? | Hey, Moe! |
Homer, my hat goes off to you. | It's cool in here, boy. For the rest of the summer, we can live inside the refrigerator. |
Homer, the fridge wasn't meant to be used this way. Although I must say, it's certainly refreshing. | I got the idea when I noticed the refrigerator was cold. |
Won't this overload the motor? | Marge, can you set the oven to cold? |
Dad... | Yes, Lisa? |
CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? CanwehaveapoolDad? Canwe... etc. | I understand. Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk. |
Over here we have "The Hick Tub," "The uh Insta-Rust," that's "The Lightning Magnet," that's "The Tinkler..." | Ooh, The Tinkler. I like the sound of that. We'll take it. |
'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English. | Is it a pool yet? |
Yes, Dad. | Woo hoo! |
I'm gonna miss the whole summer. | Don't worry boy, when you get a job like me, you'll miss every summer. |
Dad... You have to put chlorine in the water every day, to keep it clean. | Chlorine, eh? |
This was a lovely idea, Homie. Come here and kiss me. | Mmmm.... |
Listen, Ned Flanders murdered his wife. | But why? She's such a fox. I mean, what's on Fox tonight? Something ribald, no doubt. |
Um, I'm right here. | Oh, I see. Then everything is wrapped up in a neat little package. Really, I mean that. Sorry if it sounded sarcastic. |
Hurry up and finish eating! | You're steerin' fine, boy... Hard to the right! |
Oh! | Hard to the left! |
Whoa! | Cat!... Deer!... Old Man! |
Homer, that was downright decent of you. | We hit the jackpot, here! White gold! Texas tea... sweetener. |
Dad, isn't this stealing? | Read your town charter, boy. "If food stuffs should touch the ground, said food stuffs shall be turned over to the village idiot." Since I don't see him around, start shoveling. |
It hurts my teeth. | That's because I've loaded it with sugar!!... Marge, our ship has come in! I found five hundred pounds of sugar -- in the forest -- that I'm gonna sell directly to the consumer. And all for a low, low price of one dollar per pound. |
And it doesn't have nails and broken glass in it... | Those are prizes. Ooo, a blasting cap! |
While you were out "earning" that dollar, you lost forty dollars by not going to work. The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday. | Woo hoo! A four day weekend! |
Homer? | In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women. |
Homer, Homer! | Huh, wha? |
I want you to forget about guarding this stupid sugar. You're being completely paranoid. | Oh am I, Am I really? |
I want you to forget about guarding this stupid sugar. You're being completely paranoid. | A-ha! |
Hello. | All right, pal. Where'd you get the sugar for that tea? |
Homer, when are you gonna give up this crazy sugar scheme? | Never! Never, Marge! I can't live the buttoned-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky-stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke... |
Look, just get rid of the sugar, okay? | No! |
Look, just get rid of the sugar, okay? | Hey! Get off my sugar! Bad bees! Bad! |
Look, just get rid of the sugar, okay? | Ow! Ow! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow! |
Ah, very clever, Simpson. Luring our bees to your sugar pile and then selling them back to us at an inflated price. | Bees are on the what, now? |
Simpson, you diobolical... we're willing to pay you two thousand dollars for the swarm. | Deal! |
Oh, wait a minute. The bees are leaving. | Nooooooo! My sugar is melting! Melting! Oh what a world! |
I'm sorry, Homie. | It's okay, Marge. I've learned my lesson. A mountain of sugar is too much for one man. It's clear now why God portions it out in those tiny packets and why he lives on a plantation in Hawaii. |
What? | Like what? |
Wake up! | Huh? Wuzz wrong? House run away? Dog's on fire? |
Wake up! | Marge, it's three a.m. and I worked all day! |
It's nine thirty p.m. and you spent your whole Saturday drinking beer in Maggie's kiddy pool. | There you are. Thought you could get away, huh? |
No, no, no. No, ask your heart what its fondest desire is. | Hm... |
No, no, no. No, ask your heart what its fondest desire is. | Mmmm, Chocolate... / Mmmm, invisible cola. / Mmmm, Forbidden donut. / Mmmm sacrilicious. Mmmm, / Mmmm, free goo. Mmmm, something. |
No, think about people. About moments in your life that have been very romantic. | Oh, okay. |
Yeah, ditto. | Hi. |
Ain't you ever seen a naked chick ridin' a clam before? | Gotta go. |
I guess we'll be goin' down together. I mean getting off togeth-- I mean... | That's okay. I'll just push the button for the stimulator, I mean elevator. |
I guess we'll be goin' down together. I mean getting off togeth-- I mean... | That's unsexy. |
I guess we'll be goin' down together. I mean getting off togeth-- I mean... | Ew. |
I guess we'll be goin' down together. I mean getting off togeth-- I mean... | Well, this is my floor. |
I guess we'll be goin' down together. I mean getting off togeth-- I mean... | See you tomorrow.... |
I guess we'll be goin' down together. I mean getting off togeth-- I mean... | I tried to avoid her, but we were sent to a nuclear convention in Capital City together... |
TV's there; bathroom's there; and there's your king sized bed for... | Stop that. I love my wife and family. All I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort. That's it. |
Homer, I got a really wicked idea that could get us into a lot of trouble. | Oh, Mindy, we have to fight our temptation. |
No, Homer. Let's do it. Let's call room service! | Oh! |
No more Chernobyls! | Go to hell! |
No more Chernobyls! | I was doing my best to resist her... |
No more Chernobyls! | But at dinner, the fortune cookie predicted doom. |
This was a really nice night, Homer. | Yeah, yeah. |
What's wrong? | Oh yeah. Like you don't know. We're gonna have sex. |
Oh... well, we don't have to. | Yes we do. The cookie told me so. |
Well, desserts aren't always right. | But they're so sweet. |
Homer, you know how I feel. So it-it's up to you. Look in your heart. I think you'll see what you want. | Oh, baby. |
Yes, what did happen to her? | She hit the bottle pretty hard and lost her job. |
Well, kids, I tried. Maybe you're right. | Wait a minute, Marge. Love isn't hopeless. Look, maybe I'm no expert on the subject. But there was one time I got it right... |
Homer. | Marge? |
Yeah, you want a ride? | Sure. |
You know Homer, when I got home, I realized who I should have gone to the prom with. | Who? Oh. |
My prom date. | Marge, pour vous. |
Why so glum? | I've got a problem. Once you stop this car, I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and then I'll never be able to let you go. |
Ah, your first kiss. | But not the last. |
Dad! Remember how you said that going to Itchy and Scratchy Land would be too damned expensive? | Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Look at this Bible I just got. Fifteen bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner except for this guy. |
Yeah. "Dancing, bowling, fashionable shops, over one hundred bars and saloons, and a world class chemical dependency center." | TV Town! Hammock Land! |
Now wait a minute. I'm not sure about this. Every time we've ever gone on vacation, I end up being horribly embarrassed, we end up in a big fight, and we come home more miserable than when we left. You have to promise me that this isn't going to happen this time. | Embarrassed? What are you talking about? |
Well, there was our trip to the Amish Country... | Oh yes. |
Don't worry, Mom. We'll make you proud of us. | Lobster hat... Fishnet Speedo, Jr... Wheelie Shoes... invisible dog leash. Well, I'm packed. |
Agreed. | Ah, the Interstate. Fasten your seatbelts, kids. We're on our way to Itchy and Scratchy Land! |
Dad, can we stop at Flickey's? | No. |
What's the matter with you, Homer? We don't have any fruits or vegetables in the car. | The whole trunk's full of 'em, Marge. |
Haven't we stood in five different states long enough? | No. |
We'd better find a motel and stop for the night. | We don't need to do that, Marge. I'm not tired. I'm not tired at all. |
Homer, no. You're going to get lost. | Trust me, Marge. With today's modern cars you can't get lost. What with all the silicon chips and such. |
Would you like to buy some Itchy and Scratchy Money? | What's that? |
Do it, Dad. | Well, okay. If it's fun. Let's see... |
Do it, Dad. | I'll take eleven hundred dollars worth. |
Bart! | Eyeball stew. |
Tortureland, Explosion Land, Searing Gas Pain Land, Unnecessary Surgery Land... | Oh look! It's the twelve noon robot parade! Hurry up or we'll have to wait for the twelve-oh-five parade. |
Ah, you know, part of spending time together as a family is spending time apart as individuals. | Parents Island? |
Dad? | I kicked one of those stupid Itchy characters in the butt. |
I have nothing to say to you. | But Marge, I was a political prisoner. |
How were you a political prisoner? | I kicked a giant mouse in the butt. Do I have to draw you a diagram? |
Oh for gosh sakes, what now? | Hey look, this one's coming on to me. |
Oh for gosh sakes, what now? | Yoo hoo, Mr. Robot... |
Dad, I think you're wrong about that robot trying to be your friend. | Lisa, don't contradict your elders. |
Dad, I think you're wrong about that robot trying to be your friend. | My hair! You chopped off my hair! Oh God I'm ugly! |
Oh my, it looks like we're doomed! | Back you robots! Nobody ruins my family vacation but me. And maybe the boy. |
Dad, the flash must have scrambled their circuits. | What're you, the narrator? |
As Roger Meyers Jr., the owner of the park, I'd like to thank you for stopping the killer robots. And to show my appreciation, here are two free passes. | But there are five of us. |
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