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92,800
Your parents aren't going to suddenly wake up thinking, "what the hell is that little bastard up to, flushing toilets and what not?!".
Your parents aren't going to suddenly wake up thinking, "what the hell
is that little bastard up to, flushing toilets and what not?!".
92,801
After Brand reminded Paxman that he cried after learning that his grandma too had been "fucked over" by aristocrats, the Newsnight host was stunned into silence.
After Brand reminded Paxman that he cried after learning that his grandma too had been
"fucked over" by aristocrats, the Newsnight host was stunned into silence.
92,802
Use of the word, which is from the Yiddish slang for penis, has been criticised but Mr Trump hit back on Twitter.
Use of the word, which is from the Yiddish slang for
penis, has been criticised but Mr Trump hit back on Twitter.
92,803
The public pressure against holding the tournament there is rising, with even shitbag FIFA president Sepp Blatter admitting the process has been a total clusterfuck.
The public pressure against holding the tournament there is rising, with even
shitbag FIFA president Sepp Blatter admitting the process has been a total clusterfuck.
92,804
Sometimes the sessions were casual, a couple of kids just shooting the shit.
Sometimes the sessions were casual, a
couple of kids just shooting the shit.
92,805
The troll called him a "dirty fucking Jewish scumbag" and mailed him a Tupperware full of ashes with the note, "Say hello to your relatives from Auschwitz."
The troll called him a "dirty fucking Jewish scumbag" and mailed him a Tupperware
full of ashes with the note, "Say hello to your relatives from Auschwitz."
92,806
Man with 100-pound scrotum REJECTS offers to perform $1 million corrective surgery for free because his giant organ has made him famous
Man with 100-pound scrotum REJECTS offers to perform $1 million
corrective surgery for free because his giant organ has made him famous
92,807
And if truth be told, there’s plenty that scare the living shit out of all of us…
And if truth be told, there’s plenty that
scare the living shit out of all of us…
92,808
“You ruined our site and called it integration / I’m writing this song just to vent our frustration / Fuck you, Google Plusssssss!”
“You ruined our site and called it integration / I’m writing this
song just to vent our frustration / Fuck you, Google Plusssssss!”
92,809
Now I'm sure that some of these guys were just adjusting, but if I'm reading the study press release right, it's not just that over a tenth of dudes have masturbated behind the wheel at some point in their lives.
Now I'm sure that some of these guys were just adjusting, but if I'm reading the study press release right
, it's not just that over a tenth of dudes have masturbated behind the wheel at some point in their lives.
92,810
These dudes want to f**king make it soft and be like, ‘Oh money fight, money fight.
These dudes want to f**king make it soft and be
like, ‘Oh money fight, money fight.
92,811
If Johnathan Blow wants to see uncivilized, go to europe and see what they do when shit hits the fan.
If Johnathan Blow wants to see uncivilized, go to europe
and see what they do when shit hits the fan.
92,812
The money shot comes about 30 seconds in, when he points the gun directly at multiple people and says, "I will fucking kill you.
The money shot comes about 30 seconds in, when he points the gun
directly at multiple people and says, "I will fucking kill you.
92,813
Japanese sex doll manufacturer Trottla has also started selling underage schoolgirl dolls for paedophiles.
Japanese sex doll manufacturer Trottla has also
started selling underage schoolgirl dolls for paedophiles.
92,814
They’ve trademarked the term “chocolate diamond” and they’re spending millions on ads trying to convince customers to buy one of these worthless little pieces of shit.
They’ve trademarked the term “chocolate diamond” and they’re spending millions on
ads trying to convince customers to buy one of these worthless little pieces of shit.
92,815
kids who can and will kick you in the face with their pole-swinging.
kids who can and will kick you in
the face with their pole-swinging.
92,816
Stewart asked, “What is it with you people and the animal-fucking?”
Stewart asked, “What is it with
you people and the animal-fucking?”
92,817
And thank God for that: It's been far too long since "fuck you money" went to a tech whiz who was at least marginally interesting.
And thank God for that: It's been far too long since "fuck
you money" went to a tech whiz who was at least marginally interesting.
92,818
When venturing out in public, cover your genitals with both hands while scurrying furtively from place to place.
When venturing out in public, cover your genitals with
both hands while scurrying furtively from place to place.
92,819
First of all, you should be fucking honoredas shit to have the opportunity to have sex with a big beautiful goddess.
First of all, you should be fucking honoredas shit to
have the opportunity to have sex with a big beautiful goddess.
92,820
Over the course of two years, they had sex 10 times and the victim only realized the truth when she took off her blindfold to see Newland wearing a prosthetic penis.
Over the course of two years, they had sex 10 times and the victim only
realized the truth when she took off her blindfold to see Newland wearing a prosthetic penis.
92,821
Homeless man in Georgia breaks into funeral home for sex with corpse
Homeless man in Georgia breaks into
funeral home for sex with corpse
92,822
I was just busting their balls because yesterday's experience felt pretty half-inflated and bullshit.
I was just busting their balls because yesterday's
experience felt pretty half-inflated and bullshit.
92,823
They broadcast these stupid cartoons of Team America, making a mockery out of the pain of the Korean people.
They broadcast these stupid cartoons of Team America, making
a mockery out of the pain of the Korean people.
92,824
WATCH: North Carolina Pastor Tells Gay Grads They're Going To Hell
WATCH: North Carolina Pastor Tells
Gay Grads They're Going To Hell
92,825
1. The heartless bastards in the immigration service who deported a woman who was on dialysis, and is certain to die without treatment.
1. The heartless bastards in the immigration service who deported a woman
who was on dialysis, and is certain to die without treatment.
92,826
When someone says “violent media makes people violent,” they’re full of shit.
When someone says “violent media makes people
violent,” they’re full of shit.
92,827
The next day, another opened fire on a car, killing a dad and wounding his wife and two kids.
The next day, another opened fire on a car,
killing a dad and wounding his wife and two kids.
92,828
Married Canadian tipped as next Prime Minister 'found naked in brothel with an Asian prostitute'
Married Canadian tipped as next Prime Minister '
found naked in brothel with an Asian prostitute'
92,829
Rock answered, "It's ready for a retarded president, why wouldn't it be ready for an African American president?"
Rock answered, "It's ready for a retarded president,
why wouldn't it be ready for an African American president?"
92,830
Assholes who are shit at their jobs make the jobs of decent people harder and worse.
Assholes who are shit at their jobs make
the jobs of decent people harder and worse.
92,831
But you wouldn’t want to try that around my friends, just saying 😉 If you ask me, the only bad thing about sweet treats is the results they have on my ass size health. S
But you wouldn’t want to try that around my friends, just saying 😉 If you ask me
, the only bad thing about sweet treats is the results they have on my ass size health. S
92,832
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezek.
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will
remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezek.
92,833
In Iceland, however, you can’t fuck around with Christmas spirits.
In Iceland, however, you ca
n’t fuck around with Christmas spirits.
92,834
You’ve got to be a complete imbecile to believe in these Russian fairytales.
You’ve got to be a complete
imbecile to believe in these Russian fairytales.
92,835
Daniel Gallagher, who made $153,000 a year as head of the office’s civil division, used his Facebook account to refer to First Lady Michelle Obama as “Moosechelle” and saying of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, “Dat b*tch ugly.”
Daniel Gallagher, who made $153,000 a year as head of the office’s civil division, used his Facebook account to refer
to First Lady Michelle Obama as “Moosechelle” and saying of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, “Dat b*tch ugly.”
92,836
Upgrade the boobs, delete the superfluous uterus. And if you think I am being ridiculously oversenstive, let me ask you this: How many middleaged men who don’t want children are offered a vasectomy by their doctor?
Upgrade the boobs, delete the superfluous uterus. And if you think I am being ridiculously oversenstive, let me
ask you this: How many middleaged men who don’t want children are offered a vasectomy by their doctor?
92,837
I was going into the Tory conference last week and a chap shouted at the top of his voice, “Boris Johnson, you are SCUM!”
I was going into the Tory conference last week and a chap shouted at
the top of his voice, “Boris Johnson, you are SCUM!”
92,838
Professional Beer Buyer might not look good on a resume, but I’ll tell you it’s a kick ass job.
Professional Beer Buyer might not look good on a resume,
but I’ll tell you it’s a kick ass job.
92,839
The victim was tied up, tortured, sliced with a knife, and forced to drink toilet water while they yelled, “Fuck Donald Trump!”
The victim was tied up, tortured, sliced with a knife, and
forced to drink toilet water while they yelled, “Fuck Donald Trump!”
92,840
The maglev (that's a portmanteau) is already happening in Japan, because Japan is the uppity rich asshole always throwing lavish cheese and cocaine parties in the family's lesser Hamptons mansion.
The maglev (that's a portmanteau) is already happening in Japan, because Japan is the
uppity rich asshole always throwing lavish cheese and cocaine parties in the family's lesser Hamptons mansion.
92,841
For the next six hours, Hunter and Garcia allegedly tortured the woman by cutting off her hair and ripping her clothes, threatening to “find someone with AIDS to have sex with her,” the report says.
For the next six hours, Hunter and Garcia allegedly tortured the woman by cutting off her hair and ripping
her clothes, threatening to “find someone with AIDS to have sex with her,” the report says.
92,842
“Fuck… I lost hard,” one user wrote, referring to the 4chan meme “You Love, You Lose”—posting images of hot women with the intention of finding a new Internet crush.
“Fuck… I lost hard,” one user wrote, referring to the 4chan meme “
You Love, You Lose”—posting images of hot women with the intention of finding a new Internet crush.
92,843
Salman Continues to Prove He’s an Asshole; Compares Himself to a “Raped Woman” for Sultan’s Shoot
Salman Continues to Prove He’s an Asshole; Compares
Himself to a “Raped Woman” for Sultan’s Shoot
92,844
Unfortunately for the Dodgers, Reddick has been dog shit in his first month with the team—he’s hit .161/.223/.172 in 87 at-bats—and right field is an even bigger black hole it was when Puig was out there every day.
Unfortunately for the Dodgers, Reddick has been dog shit in his first month with the team—he’s hit .161/.223/.172 in
87 at-bats—and right field is an even bigger black hole it was when Puig was out there every day.
92,845
Until then, please enjoy the rewards, and don’t forget to eat your bean sprouts! -Yomi Update #3 – 4/14/2016 Are you fucking kidding me?
Until then, please enjoy the rewards, and don’t forget to eat your
bean sprouts! -Yomi Update #3 – 4/14/2016 Are you fucking kidding me?
92,846
Before I turn it over to Randy, I wanted to say that he told me this news a couple of months ago, but we were both so completely drunk off our respective asses that I thought he was fucking with me.
Before I turn it over to Randy, I wanted to say that he told me this news a couple of months
ago, but we were both so completely drunk off our respective asses that I thought he was fucking with me.
92,847
How dare you tell me and the likes of Tommy Robinson that we live in ‘a stupid little country’.
How dare you tell me and the likes of Tommy Robinson
that we live in ‘a stupid little country’.
92,848
If it goes like the others, she’ll come home in the middle of the night, crawl into bed beside me, and tell me all about how she and Paulo had sex.
If it goes like the others, she’ll come home in the middle of the night,
crawl into bed beside me, and tell me all about how she and Paulo had sex.
92,849
What sort of ultra-hip abomination will be birthed once the old bastard is worm food, via the New 52, who can say?
What sort of ultra-hip abomination will be birthed once the old
bastard is worm food, via the New 52, who can say?
92,850
Props to SugarPine7, their audience (specifically the ones who didn't tell me to go fuck myself haha) and I'm excited to see what comes next for them.
Props to SugarPine7, their audience (specifically the ones who didn't tell me to
go fuck myself haha) and I'm excited to see what comes next for them.
92,851
"Hell, if I was the judge, I would say to get the victims' families up there and let them hang his ass.
"Hell, if I was the judge, I would say to
get the victims' families up there and let them hang his ass.
92,852
The monkey comes down, takes one look at me and leaps at my balls.
The monkey comes down, takes one look
at me and leaps at my balls.
92,853
"Some fat slag on news.com.au has already branded it a disaster.
"Some fat slag on news.com.au
has already branded it a disaster.
92,854
(“Gaiia” is the poetic name for that contrary bitch, Mother Nature.)
(“Gaiia” is the poetic name
for that contrary bitch, Mother Nature.)
92,855
I will cut their heads off the heads and throw the[m] on the State Capitol steps."
I will cut their heads off the heads and
throw the[m] on the State Capitol steps."
92,856
Another Trump supporter added “Birdie…Birdie…Pretty Birdie…See pretty Birdie,” as he repeatedly failed to wipe his own ass.
Another Trump supporter added “Birdie…Birdie…Pretty Birdie…See
pretty Birdie,” as he repeatedly failed to wipe his own ass.
92,857
“Cops wear helmets and vests and drive armored vehicle because unemployed n*****s thrown bricks at them, moron!”
“Cops wear helmets and vests and drive armored vehicle
because unemployed n*****s thrown bricks at them, moron!”
92,858
“Penises are like a flipped finger, there’s an aggressive element to it,” she said.
“Penises are like a flipped finger, there’s
an aggressive element to it,” she said.
92,859
St. McCain is increasingly annoyed that his "100 Years In Iraq" pledge is predictably biting him in the ass.
St. McCain is increasingly annoyed that his "100 Years In
Iraq" pledge is predictably biting him in the ass.
92,860
Sitting on that porch with him, shooting the shit, I picked up a few things I wanted to share with you.
Sitting on that porch with him, shooting the shit, I
picked up a few things I wanted to share with you.
92,861
A WOMAN has taken a police officer to court after he allegedly tasered her after she refused to show him her breasts.
A WOMAN has taken a police officer to court after he
allegedly tasered her after she refused to show him her breasts.
92,862
This jackass thinks he can vote for someone else even though it is against the Arizona state party rules.
This jackass thinks he can vote for someone else even
though it is against the Arizona state party rules.
92,863
Congress joined them, but in addition to saying no, House members offered their reasons — and those reasons were complete bullshit:
Congress joined them, but in addition to saying no, House
members offered their reasons — and those reasons were complete bullshit:
92,864
But if they turn away, then seize them and kill them wherever you find them and take not from among them any ally or helper.”
But if they turn away, then seize them and kill them wherever you
find them and take not from among them any ally or helper.”
92,865
The item in question turned out to be a penis, which was etched into the remnants of a tree, and as you can imagine, parents were not very happy with Netflix after they found out.
The item in question turned out to be a penis, which was etched into the remnants of a
tree, and as you can imagine, parents were not very happy with Netflix after they found out.
92,866
By the way, regular readers of this column will know how much I hate to toot my own horn, but I also predicted Trump would perform well with blacks.
By the way, regular readers of this column will know how much I hate to
toot my own horn, but I also predicted Trump would perform well with blacks.
92,867
Caught on Video=> “Gays Must Die” Says Islamic Speaker at Orlando Mosque
Caught on Video=> “Gays Must
Die” Says Islamic Speaker at Orlando Mosque
92,868
A Pennsylvania mother suffocated her infant son and then shot herself in the head in a murder-suicide the day after Christmas according to police.
A Pennsylvania mother suffocated her infant son and then shot herself in the
head in a murder-suicide the day after Christmas according to police.
92,869
“Frankly, my coworkers and I would rather masturbate to our own self-importance.”
“Frankly, my coworkers and I would rather
masturbate to our own self-importance.”
92,870
It involved freezing over the winter and thawing it in the spring – this recipe was serious shit.
It involved freezing over the winter and thawing it
in the spring – this recipe was serious shit.
92,871
“Another wanker hipster establishment, imitating trends instead of creating them, discriminating against workers because all you want is idiots with beards and pretentious tattoos?”
“Another wanker hipster establishment, imitating trends instead of creating them, discriminating
against workers because all you want is idiots with beards and pretentious tattoos?”
92,872
Sam is kind of a wannabe "shock jockey", which means he wants to earn money by showing people his dick without going to prison for it, but he's not attractive enough to work in the sex industry.
Sam is kind of a wannabe "shock jockey", which means he wants to earn money by showing people
his dick without going to prison for it, but he's not attractive enough to work in the sex industry.
92,873
Americans talk openly and often about the dumbing down of our culture, what we refer to as “The Big Stupid.”
Americans talk openly and often about the dumbing down of our culture
, what we refer to as “The Big Stupid.”
92,874
Which, as you say, makes no sense because you just said masculinity sucks. So make up your mind.”
Which, as you say, makes no sense because you
just said masculinity sucks. So make up your mind.”
92,875
Metropolitan Police officers have charged him with sexual assault by touching the youngster without his consent, oral rape.
Metropolitan Police officers have charged him with sexual assault by
touching the youngster without his consent, oral rape.
92,876
When you go to the "Today" show with a shirt suggesting Bill Clinton did what Donald Trump said he did ... you gotta be ready for someone to kick your ass ... so says NBC.
When you go to the "Today" show with a shirt suggesting Bill Clinton did what Donald Trump
said he did ... you gotta be ready for someone to kick your ass ... so says NBC.
92,877
It makes sense that Missy would be feeling Ski Mask's take on her old "Shes a Bitch" instrumental.
It makes sense that Missy would be feeling Ski Mask's
take on her old "Shes a Bitch" instrumental.
92,878
Even then, the first warning shot over the bow is usually some discreet/indirect signal to the tune of “hey, you guys clean your shit up or we will clean both it and you.”
Even then, the first warning shot over the bow is usually some discreet/indirect signal to the tune
of “hey, you guys clean your shit up or we will clean both it and you.”
92,879
"People might think TV critics are mindless parasites," said DeVito, "but this proves you are not."
"People might think TV critics are mindless parasites,"
said DeVito, "but this proves you are not."
92,880
If I had the money for a hooker, you’d get the best mediocre hooker I could afford.
If I had the money for a hooker, you
’d get the best mediocre hooker I could afford.
92,881
The physician was a prude who believed that sexual desire was wrong, and that masturbation would bring diseases, according to Mental Floss.
The physician was a prude who believed that sexual desire was wrong
, and that masturbation would bring diseases, according to Mental Floss.
92,882
This might not sound like much, but they will suck you out dry in return.
This might not sound like much, but
they will suck you out dry in return.
92,883
LaShanda Armstrong killed herself, tried to kill her four children.
LaShanda Armstrong killed herself, tried
to kill her four children.
92,884
You’ve worked your last shift at this place, you worthless b****!”
You’ve worked your last shift at this place
, you worthless b****!”
92,885
1. Has anyone, male or female, ever put fingers or objects in your vagina or anus against your will, OR by using force OR threats?
1. Has anyone, male or female, ever put fingers or objects in
your vagina or anus against your will, OR by using force OR threats?
92,886
Dundalk didn’t wait to punish him either, and he was summarily dropped from the club after showing his naked ass.
Dundalk didn’t wait to punish him either, and he
was summarily dropped from the club after showing his naked ass.
92,887
I can’t believe Serena got on there and was Beyonce’s prop twerking in a body suit in this long ass black slave ass video.
I can’t believe Serena got on there and was Beyonce’s prop
twerking in a body suit in this long ass black slave ass video.
92,888
You should never fuck with consistency, that is if it is in your favor.
You should never fuck with consistency, that
is if it is in your favor.
92,889
And so he’s doing what he always does when he feels challenged: he’s acting like a dick.
And so he’s doing what he always does when
he feels challenged: he’s acting like a dick.
92,890
You know, the worst thing is it’s actually really fucking good!”
You know, the worst thing is
it’s actually really fucking good!”
92,891
Anyone who wants to know anything about what came before and after would be well-advised to start here — where Robert Johnson casts a lurid eye at Liz Phair while shaking hands with Pussy Galore.
Anyone who wants to know anything about what came before and after would be well-advised to start
here — where Robert Johnson casts a lurid eye at Liz Phair while shaking hands with Pussy Galore.
92,892
Trainwreck extends that joke to mixed results: Straight Steve dates Amy (played by Amy Schumer, the film’s star and writer) who fucks the way men are known to — casually, promiscuously and judgmentally.
Trainwreck extends that joke to mixed results: Straight Steve dates Amy (played by Amy Schumer, the film
’s star and writer) who fucks the way men are known to — casually, promiscuously and judgmentally.
92,893
When you start carrying a baby in your bags and birthing that baby through your ass, then you can own this house.
When you start carrying a baby in your bags and birthing that
baby through your ass, then you can own this house.
92,894
Baldasaro's comments, which were first reported by BuzzFeed, came during an interview on the Jeff Kuhner Show, during which he also called Clinton “a piece of garbage.”
Baldasaro's comments, which were first reported by BuzzFeed, came during an interview on the
Jeff Kuhner Show, during which he also called Clinton “a piece of garbage.”
92,895
It’s certainly a better starting point for debate than telling somebody they are an idiot because they happen to disagree.
It’s certainly a better starting point for debate than telling
somebody they are an idiot because they happen to disagree.
92,896
I also get enormous satisfaction from the challenges of slaloming through obstacles and dangers, and putting my ass on the line with every calculated gamble I make.
I also get enormous satisfaction from the challenges of slaloming through obstacles and dangers
, and putting my ass on the line with every calculated gamble I make.
92,897
Edit: How crazy would it be if there were different idiot savant speech options that still sounded dumb but weren't because you have a high intellect. Click to expand...
Edit: How crazy would it be if there were different idiot savant speech options that still
sounded dumb but weren't because you have a high intellect. Click to expand...
92,898
When we use the name “alt-right,” we acknowledge the legitimacy of their ideas as a new political faction, instead of what it always has been: my brother’s dumbass friends being racist fuckers.
When we use the name “alt-right,” we acknowledge the legitimacy of their ideas as a
new political faction, instead of what it always has been: my brother’s dumbass friends being racist fuckers.
92,899
'More pigs will be revealed': Asia Argento on life after accusing Weinstein of rape Read more
'More pigs will be revealed': Asia
Argento on life after accusing Weinstein of rape Read more