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94,500
If at first you do succeed, well, shit, you might as well keep doing it, right?
If at first you do succeed, well, shit
, you might as well keep doing it, right?
94,501
"And to be blunt, a lot of these kids assume that just by having a good set of teeth and tits, smiling for the camera's gonna be enough.
"And to be blunt, a lot of these kids assume that just by having a
good set of teeth and tits, smiling for the camera's gonna be enough.
94,502
DJ Thaddeus Matthews called Charlotte Bergmann, who is black, "stupid."
DJ Thaddeus Matthews called Charlotte Bergmann,
who is black, "stupid."
94,503
“America,” explained Witton while pointing to America on a map of the world, “gooder. Okay? But Russia, okay? Bad,” Witton concluded. It is believed no thought has been given to civilians affected by America and Russia’s penis measuring contest, which seems to have no end in sight.
“America,” explained Witton while pointing to America on a map of the world, “gooder. Okay? But Russia, okay? Bad,” Witton
concluded. It is believed no thought has been given to civilians affected by America and Russia’s penis measuring contest, which seems to have no end in sight.
94,504
These terms of endearment are meant to shame the straw-chewing morons into silence.
These terms of endearment are meant to shame
the straw-chewing morons into silence.
94,505
By saying any player who didn’t stand for the anthem was a “son of a bitch” and should be fired by his team’s owner, Trump crossed a line from which no one could look away.
By saying any player who didn’t stand for the anthem was a “son of a bitch” and
should be fired by his team’s owner, Trump crossed a line from which no one could look away.
94,506
But it isn’t good for the conservative movement and these dumb vestiges must go.
But it isn’t good for the conservative
movement and these dumb vestiges must go.
94,507
What he did was callous and narcissistic and insensitive and just pathetic.
What he did was callous and
narcissistic and insensitive and just pathetic.
94,508
We don't know... what will be the reaction of the white and Christian Europeans faced with this influx of starving and ignorant Africans Col Muammar Gaddafi
We don't know... what will be the reaction of the white and
Christian Europeans faced with this influx of starving and ignorant Africans Col Muammar Gaddafi
94,509
It will mean women will have to be more responsible and forward-thinking, instead of blindly following their vaginas.
It will mean women will have to be more responsible and
forward-thinking, instead of blindly following their vaginas.
94,510
“First you burn the Jews in ovens and then you come and accuse the Turkish people of genocide,” said Justice Minister Bekir Bozdag.
“First you burn the Jews in ovens and then you come and
accuse the Turkish people of genocide,” said Justice Minister Bekir Bozdag.
94,511
I got his slugging percentage and I'll take his home runs and that's it, don't talk about him no more" and Pedro Martinez asserting he wanted to find Babe's ghost and "drill him in the ass."
I got his slugging percentage and I'll take his home runs and that's it, don't talk about him
no more" and Pedro Martinez asserting he wanted to find Babe's ghost and "drill him in the ass."
94,512
Oh, he was sitting in a cantina somewhere, drinking his ass off?
Oh, he was sitting in a
cantina somewhere, drinking his ass off?
94,513
On page 39, Oz requests that, before the meet-up, you please send along a recent photo of your face (no sunglasses), and also a picture "inside your vagina."
On page 39, Oz requests that, before the meet-up, you please send along a
recent photo of your face (no sunglasses), and also a picture "inside your vagina."
94,514
This is the psychological concept known as the “Dunning-Kruger” effect — put very simply, when stupid people don’t know that they are stupid — in action.
This is the psychological concept known as the “Dunning-Kruger” effect — put
very simply, when stupid people don’t know that they are stupid — in action.
94,515
I loved tumbling and rolling and shooting down bad guys while hunting for buried treasure.
I loved tumbling and rolling and shooting down
bad guys while hunting for buried treasure.
94,516
Surely, the starting point for this crowd would be "mindfulness training is a bunch of hippie bullsh*t."
Surely, the starting point for this crowd would be
"mindfulness training is a bunch of hippie bullsh*t."
94,517
The suspects then put a cloth bag over her head and proceeded to punch her multiple times.
The suspects then put a cloth bag over her
head and proceeded to punch her multiple times.
94,518
Yes, it’s true that Christians sometimes make life unpleasant for homosexuals.
Yes, it’s true that Christians
sometimes make life unpleasant for homosexuals.
94,519
history is incredibly fucked up and the 1943 race riots in Detroit were incredibly fucked up
history is incredibly fucked up and the 1943
race riots in Detroit were incredibly fucked up
94,520
Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine De Landro's Bitch Planet has the single best comic book title of the year.
Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine De Landro's Bitch Planet
has the single best comic book title of the year.
94,521
They can’t understand how the other side could be so stupid,” Leiserowitz said.
They can’t understand how the other side
could be so stupid,” Leiserowitz said.
94,522
When applied in this manner, a fitness test is what pickup artists call a shit test.
When applied in this manner, a fitness test
is what pickup artists call a shit test.
94,523
Most people on the street who are going to attack you actually suck at it and have no idea what they’re doing.
Most people on the street who are going to attack you actually
suck at it and have no idea what they’re doing.
94,524
Mr. Harper, suck my dick, because that is all that you are good at next to the flatulence of Jim Flaherty.This man is fucking Hussein!
Mr. Harper, suck my dick, because that is all that you are good
at next to the flatulence of Jim Flaherty.This man is fucking Hussein!
94,525
In the months that followed she would go on a social media tear, telling one Dolphins reporter — prayers out to Adam Beasley — she was going to fart in his mouth after he eats her ass.
In the months that followed she would go on a social media tear, telling one Dolphins reporter —
prayers out to Adam Beasley — she was going to fart in his mouth after he eats her ass.
94,526
Stop thinking like a Leftist nigger, a la Barak [sic] Hussein Obama (half black, I know), Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Sheila Jackson-Lee, Eric Holder, et al.
Stop thinking like a Leftist nigger, a la Barak [sic] Hussein Obama (half black, I
know), Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Sheila Jackson-Lee, Eric Holder, et al.
94,527
Torz Reynolds had been dating Stuart "Chopper" May for two years, and she was so loved-up that she had a tattoo featuring his name on her arm that said "Chopper's Bitch".
Torz Reynolds had been dating Stuart "Chopper" May for two years, and she was so loved-
up that she had a tattoo featuring his name on her arm that said "Chopper's Bitch".
94,528
When people mention Japan, you think about the Penis Festivals and conveyor belt sushi restaurants, or how it is an anime fanatic’s paradise.
When people mention Japan, you think about the Penis Festivals and conveyor
belt sushi restaurants, or how it is an anime fanatic’s paradise.
94,529
Some of the more intelligent and tactful Christians only imply that Maynard is in Hell.
Some of the more intelligent and tactful Christians
only imply that Maynard is in Hell.
94,530
@...> An: ichthyost...@web.de <ichthyost...@web.de> Listen, you Nazi piece of shit, the story was there for your little failed brain to discern that the website was fucking dead and that I made many friendly overtures asking for thoughts and concerns and ideas.
@...> An: ichthyost...@web.de <ichthyost...@web.de> Listen, you Nazi piece of shit, the story was there for your little
failed brain to discern that the website was fucking dead and that I made many friendly overtures asking for thoughts and concerns and ideas.
94,531
Do you recognize the lack of focus, the evasiveness, the failed logic, the goofy chuckle and aw shucks who gives a shit about the facts attitude we had in the White House for 8 long and ugly years?
Do you recognize the lack of focus, the evasiveness, the failed logic, the goofy chuckle and aw shucks
who gives a shit about the facts attitude we had in the White House for 8 long and ugly years?
94,532
Living in the District of Columbia suburbs has its perks, but the water really sucks.
Living in the District of Columbia suburbs has
its perks, but the water really sucks.
94,533
Waitrose’s label had a psychotropic tomato vying for space with two nuggets of cat shit and the decapitated heads of banana slugs.
Waitrose’s label had a psychotropic tomato vying for space with two
nuggets of cat shit and the decapitated heads of banana slugs.
94,534
The cartoon starts with a smiley-faced penis, tap-dancing its way to the front of the screen.
The cartoon starts with a smiley-faced penis, tap
-dancing its way to the front of the screen.
94,535
When a mama polar bear decided to rush downhill in deep snow, her 4-month-old cub decided to hitch a ride … on her butt.
When a mama polar bear decided to rush downhill in deep snow, her
4-month-old cub decided to hitch a ride … on her butt.
94,536
And what the hell, I’ll share them with you, dear reader, in the References section at the end of this piece.
And what the hell, I’ll share them with you, dear
reader, in the References section at the end of this piece.
94,537
“And I want to tell the other side, I know from going around and shaking the hands of these beautiful black faces of South Carolina that god damn firewall has a crack in it.” Watch Mike’s speech below.
“And I want to tell the other side, I know from going around and shaking the hands of these beautiful
black faces of South Carolina that god damn firewall has a crack in it.” Watch Mike’s speech below.
94,538
This is a response to an actual publicity stunt of a letter puked out by the biggest dickbag in recent history, Jake DeSantis, and then published by America's paper of dumb fucking record.
This is a response to an actual publicity stunt of a letter puked out by the biggest dickbag
in recent history, Jake DeSantis, and then published by America's paper of dumb fucking record.
94,539
However, nothing says “I’m Israel’s little bitch” more than putting on a yarmulke and praying at the Western Wall, also known as the Wailing Wall.
However, nothing says “I’m Israel’s little bitch” more than putting on
a yarmulke and praying at the Western Wall, also known as the Wailing Wall.
94,540
Donald Trump finally did stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone.
Donald Trump finally did stand in the
middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone.
94,541
“Fuck Donald Trump” by @YG is playing during the #VMAs commercial break just before DJ Khaled walked onstage with his baby boy.
“Fuck Donald Trump” by @YG is playing during the #VMAs
commercial break just before DJ Khaled walked onstage with his baby boy.
94,542
3] "Average" for a blue whale penis, however, is difficult to gauge given that the penis is unlikely to be able to be measured during sexual intercourse.[
3] "Average" for a blue whale penis, however, is difficult to
gauge given that the penis is unlikely to be able to be measured during sexual intercourse.[
94,543
The fact that these dumbass racist fucks don’t even know the difference between the naming conventions of Pokemon and Digimon notwithstanding, as you can see, this shit is fucking heinous.
The fact that these dumbass racist fucks don’t even know the difference between the naming conventions
of Pokemon and Digimon notwithstanding, as you can see, this shit is fucking heinous.
94,544
A Fox 31 producer let a giant uncut penis slip onto the air while scrolling through several random pictures on Twitter.
A Fox 31 producer let a giant uncut penis slip onto
the air while scrolling through several random pictures on Twitter.
94,545
White people just don’t know how glorious, how “have face” it is for a lowly chink woman to be fucked by a White man.
White people just don’t know how glorious, how “have face”
it is for a lowly chink woman to be fucked by a White man.
94,546
Shitfaced girls would attempt to hug me over the bar, or throw their arms round my shoulder whilst I was glass-collecting, holding me hostage in an aggressive embrace and shouting in my face that they 'fucking loved' my hair.
Shitfaced girls would attempt to hug me over the bar, or throw their arms round my shoulder whilst I was glass-
collecting, holding me hostage in an aggressive embrace and shouting in my face that they 'fucking loved' my hair.
94,547
Recruiting rankings are [total bullshit/anti-Great Plains/flawed forever because Texas commits were overrated like six years ago/E-SEC-PN BIAS/alternative facts] anyway.
Recruiting rankings are [total bullshit/anti-Great Plains/flawed forever because Texas commits were
overrated like six years ago/E-SEC-PN BIAS/alternative facts] anyway.
94,548
Wasps are horrible, awful, pointless creatures, and we hate them.
Wasps are horrible, awful, pointless
creatures, and we hate them.
94,549
You suck them up in run support to defend any escapees through the A gaps.
You suck them up in run support to
defend any escapees through the A gaps.
94,550
Niall, better known as Pyrocynical, is a 19 year old scouse Britfag furry, who is mostly known for making long and boring as fuck commentary videos on Jewtube.
Niall, better known as Pyrocynical, is a 19 year old scouse Britfag furry,
who is mostly known for making long and boring as fuck commentary videos on Jewtube.
94,551
ESTP: Understanding how to get things done without following the bullshit rules and procedures that the rest of the other types are obsessed with.
ESTP: Understanding how to get things done without following the bullshit rules
and procedures that the rest of the other types are obsessed with.
94,552
"More young people are engaging in anal intercourse than ever before," reads the paper, solemnly.
"More young people are engaging in anal intercourse than
ever before," reads the paper, solemnly.
94,553
In a sense, you become a parody of yourself So I took some time to finish casualties and get my shit straight.
In a sense, you become a parody of yourself So I
took some time to finish casualties and get my shit straight.
94,554
For months, I’ve struggled to decide whether Trump is a master manipulator, a Machiavellian puppet master of the electorate, or just a blundering idiot.
For months, I’ve struggled to decide whether Trump is a master manipulator
, a Machiavellian puppet master of the electorate, or just a blundering idiot.
94,555
Nuclear war will be inevitable, as will be Bill Clinton raping more women and children.
Nuclear war will be inevitable, as will
be Bill Clinton raping more women and children.
94,556
My youngest son leans outstretched over the table, his maw agape, grinning like a fool.
My youngest son leans outstretched over the table,
his maw agape, grinning like a fool.
94,557
The barnacle has the largest penis in the animal kingdom when compared with its size.
The barnacle has the largest penis in the
animal kingdom when compared with its size.
94,558
That’s who was a victim here, are a bunch of, just, disgusting homosexuals at a gay bar, okay?
That’s who was a victim here, are a bunch of
, just, disgusting homosexuals at a gay bar, okay?
94,559
Only a complete idiot would willingly squat behind home plate to catch live pitching, with a live batter, without wearing a mask – and a chest protector, shin guards and, yes, a cup.
Only a complete idiot would willingly squat behind home plate to catch live pitching, with a live batter
, without wearing a mask – and a chest protector, shin guards and, yes, a cup.
94,560
After a white racist terrorist in South Carolina murdered nine innocent black churchgoers, photos of the racist with the Confederate Flag resulted in a media frenzy to ban the flag.
After a white racist terrorist in South Carolina murdered nine innocent black churchgoers, photos of
the racist with the Confederate Flag resulted in a media frenzy to ban the flag.
94,561
The one in Mexico who have the means, I’m asking you to cross the border and go and kill Donald Trump, and as many of his supporters as possible.
The one in Mexico who have the means, I’m asking you to cross the
border and go and kill Donald Trump, and as many of his supporters as possible.
94,562
To this day, I look at my penis and have no idea what would have been missing and what would have remained had I been born under a crueler star.
To this day, I look at my penis and have no idea what would have
been missing and what would have remained had I been born under a crueler star.
94,563
But we let Pussy Wranglin' overshadow one part we really should have paid closer attention to.
But we let Pussy Wranglin' overshadow one part
we really should have paid closer attention to.
94,564
That said, you are correct that this year's rankings are especially stupid.
That said, you are correct that
this year's rankings are especially stupid.
94,565
;-)Everyone who fails to see that Cook is full of **it must be a complete idiot.
;-)Everyone who fails to see that Cook is full
of **it must be a complete idiot.
94,566
"They bite because they're hungry, and testicles sit nicely in their mouth," Carl added.
"They bite because they're hungry, and testicles
sit nicely in their mouth," Carl added.
94,567
They used these arms to detach the diseased organ and then took it out through the vagina.
They used these arms to detach the diseased organ
and then took it out through the vagina.
94,568
Make up a lie about the Russians having an orgy recording starring Donald Trump, of course!
Make up a lie about the Russians having an
orgy recording starring Donald Trump, of course!
94,569
On a guy who wanted to "share a cock" with Klausner, she writes: "like anybody's cock is so big that you'd be like, 'I can't finish this!
On a guy who wanted to "share a cock" with Klausner, she writes: "like
anybody's cock is so big that you'd be like, 'I can't finish this!
94,570
You could trim your toenails, or finally clean all out all the terrifying shit from behind the oven, or examine your cat closely for signs of a skin disorder.
You could trim your toenails, or finally clean all out all the terrifying shit from
behind the oven, or examine your cat closely for signs of a skin disorder.
94,571
Pretty mean to desperate assholes, so don’t talk to me if that’s you.
Pretty mean to desperate assholes, so do
n’t talk to me if that’s you.
94,572
A new campaign ad set to hit Los Angeles airwaves Thursday links Knight to the Republican presidential nominee’s brag that he can “grab [women] by the pussy.”
A new campaign ad set to hit Los Angeles airwaves Thursday links Knight to the Republican
presidential nominee’s brag that he can “grab [women] by the pussy.”
94,573
If your baby has a habit of licking her lips, she is prone to having chapped lips.
If your baby has a habit of licking her
lips, she is prone to having chapped lips.
94,574
I politely demurred by hurling a cup of hot Starbucks at him while fishing my Beretta Jetfire out of the stupid pocket holster it was riding in.
I politely demurred by hurling a cup of hot Starbucks at him while fishing
my Beretta Jetfire out of the stupid pocket holster it was riding in.
94,575
Pricasso can make as many as 20-30 portraits a day with his penis [Rex]
Pricasso can make as many as 20-30
portraits a day with his penis [Rex]
94,576
Perhaps it’s all for naught, though, as my propensity for blasting my gamma-amino-butyric acid receptors has led me right down the road to being a fucking drunk piece of garbage.
Perhaps it’s all for naught, though, as my propensity for blasting my gamma-amino-
butyric acid receptors has led me right down the road to being a fucking drunk piece of garbage.
94,577
Dog Chapman has been captured spewing foul-mouthed racist slurs on a tape obtained exclusively by The NATIONAL ENQUIRER.
Dog Chapman has been captured spewing foul-mouthed racist
slurs on a tape obtained exclusively by The NATIONAL ENQUIRER.
94,578
HPV can cause cancers of the vulva and vagina in women, and cancer of the penis in men.
HPV can cause cancers of the vulva and vagina in
women, and cancer of the penis in men.
94,579
Michael Paul Thompson’s robbery of a Linwood liquor store was so inept that a judge has literally given him a discount 'for stupidity'.
Michael Paul Thompson’s robbery of a Linwood liquor store was so inept
that a judge has literally given him a discount 'for stupidity'.
94,580
I'm sure even she doesn't really believe she's got the best ass in MMA.
I'm sure even she doesn't really believe
she's got the best ass in MMA.
94,581
Far too often, though, when you open up a book by a male writer — even a good male writer, and occasionally even a great male writer — you encounter ladies who are a variation on one or more of four themes: virgin, whore, mother, bitch.
Far too often, though, when you open up a book by a male writer — even a good male writer, and occasionally even a
great male writer — you encounter ladies who are a variation on one or more of four themes: virgin, whore, mother, bitch.
94,582
Needless to say I felt like a complete idiot because my original plan was to work around the area as the sun set, just as the city lights turned on.
Needless to say I felt like a complete idiot because my original plan was to work
around the area as the sun set, just as the city lights turned on.
94,583
The company already announced that Dick Costolo stepped down from the board.
The company already announced that Dick
Costolo stepped down from the board.
94,584
The signs read "Trump: Keepin it real" and "Obama threw our black ass under the bus.
The signs read "Trump: Keepin it real"
and "Obama threw our black ass under the bus.
94,585
I’ll bring a case of Natural Ice and we’ll make sure these bitches know they should be in the kitchen, like God intended!”
I’ll bring a case of Natural Ice and we’ll make sure these
bitches know they should be in the kitchen, like God intended!”
94,586
Damn it Sergey, stop driving round and round the bloody lander and get going.
Damn it Sergey, stop driving round and
round the bloody lander and get going.
94,587
Nor is it songs so imbecilic that if you ate a can of Alphabetti Spaghetti you could shit out more intelligent lyrics to a more pleasing tune.
Nor is it songs so imbecilic that if you ate a can of Alphabetti
Spaghetti you could shit out more intelligent lyrics to a more pleasing tune.
94,588
First off, fuck online dating, you should expect every girl to flake if you met her online because there is absolutely no reason she has to make any kind of commitment to someone she has never met in person.
First off, fuck online dating, you should expect every girl to flake if you met her online because there
is absolutely no reason she has to make any kind of commitment to someone she has never met in person.
94,589
Heckler escorted out after person yelled "Bill Cosby you're a rapist"
Heckler escorted out after person yelled "
Bill Cosby you're a rapist"
94,590
PoliZette Sitting Ducks in Gun-Free Cities When ISIS targets US, where you live could determine if you live or die
PoliZette Sitting Ducks in Gun-Free Cities When ISIS targets
US, where you live could determine if you live or die
94,591
Mike Pence is just as full of bullshit as every other person who runs interference with the press while Donald Trump skulks around the White House in his bathrobe.
Mike Pence is just as full of bullshit as every other person who runs interference
with the press while Donald Trump skulks around the White House in his bathrobe.
94,592
These two have a hot minute left before Lohan returns to the cock from whence she came.
These two have a hot minute left before Lohan
returns to the cock from whence she came.
94,593
Nearing the end of this violation, I sobbed even louder as the woman, FOUR TIMES, stuck the side of her gloved hand INTO my vagina, through my pants.
Nearing the end of this violation, I sobbed even louder as the woman, FOUR
TIMES, stuck the side of her gloved hand INTO my vagina, through my pants.
94,594
If you were one of the middle class people watching the student revolt on television and mumbled something like “bloody idiot, go to class and make something of yourself” then I urge you to think again.
If you were one of the middle class people watching the student revolt on television and mumbled something like “
bloody idiot, go to class and make something of yourself” then I urge you to think again.
94,595
Q. John Askew has posted a controversial statement on his Facebook Page about how he recently spent listening to 3 hours of promos from producers that he used to "love" but derided them for "making poor quality electro house garbage.
Q. John Askew has posted a controversial statement on his Facebook Page about how he recently spent listening to 3 hours of
promos from producers that he used to "love" but derided them for "making poor quality electro house garbage.
94,596
Finally, fantasy has caught up with reality for me – albeit, still as a boring bastard…
Finally, fantasy has caught up with reality for
me – albeit, still as a boring bastard…
94,597
Jodi Arias testified today that her Mormon boyfriend Travis Alexander forced her to have anal sex after he baptized her into the church by saying vaginal sex was off limits but 'everything else' was allowed.
Jodi Arias testified today that her Mormon boyfriend Travis Alexander forced her to have anal sex after he baptized
her into the church by saying vaginal sex was off limits but 'everything else' was allowed.
94,598
When you’ve been a food safety inspector for as long as Sharon Nkansah, you know how to smell a rat.
When you’ve been a food safety inspector for as long
as Sharon Nkansah, you know how to smell a rat.
94,599
Getty Images 9 The statues show Trump as having an extremely small penis and no testicles
Getty Images 9 The statues show Trump as
having an extremely small penis and no testicles