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95,000
When a baby Lomamyia latipennis gets hungry, it stuns a termite with a "vapor-phase toxicant" released from its anus.
When a baby Lomamyia latipennis gets hungry, it stuns a termite
with a "vapor-phase toxicant" released from its anus.
95,001
Only some sick, hateful bastard could take this beautiful photo and trash this gesture of kindness and protection after Hurricane Harvey.
Only some sick, hateful bastard could take this beautiful photo
and trash this gesture of kindness and protection after Hurricane Harvey.
95,002
Writing in her latest blog newsletter, the Canadian gynecologist revealed she once dumped a boyfriend for complaining about the smell of her genitals.
Writing in her latest blog newsletter, the Canadian gynecologist revealed she
once dumped a boyfriend for complaining about the smell of her genitals.
95,003
people frightened and scared.This is fucking shit and out of order and to be opposed wherever it occurs.This will not unite our class but divide it but it’s happened and we can not wish it away.
people frightened and scared.This is fucking shit and out of order and to be opposed wherever it occurs.
This will not unite our class but divide it but it’s happened and we can not wish it away.
95,004
Those bastard war veterans, arrogantly assuming that the liberty they risked their lives fighting for includes the right to participate in $5 cribbage games.
Those bastard war veterans, arrogantly assuming that the liberty they risked their
lives fighting for includes the right to participate in $5 cribbage games.
95,005
This colorful word, which sounds distinctly Lewis Carroll-y, has two idiot-related uses: it can be a dum-dum or a dum-dum’s head.
This colorful word, which sounds distinctly Lewis Carroll-y, has two idiot-related
uses: it can be a dum-dum or a dum-dum’s head.
95,006
Once you've destroyed enough stuff you'll be able turn your ball into a bomb and set off a SmashBreaker - a nod to Burnout 3's CrashBreaker - and continue guiding it around the course, destroying more objects and boosting your score.
Once you've destroyed enough stuff you'll be able turn your ball into a bomb and set off a SmashBreaker - a
nod to Burnout 3's CrashBreaker - and continue guiding it around the course, destroying more objects and boosting your score.
95,007
I don’t care where they’re from the truth is they have made a shit pile out of their own nation now they will create the same shit pile here.
I don’t care where they’re from the truth is they have made a shit
pile out of their own nation now they will create the same shit pile here.
95,008
She obliges by bending her left front leg at the knee and raising it, exposing a clear view of her breast.
She obliges by bending her left front leg at the knee
and raising it, exposing a clear view of her breast.
95,009
I kick in the doors of dungeons – places where people live and work, even if their work is perhaps a little dubious – and I straight up fucking murder them.
I kick in the doors of dungeons – places where people live and work, even
if their work is perhaps a little dubious – and I straight up fucking murder them.
95,010
In this edition: AMC’s plan to block MoviePass is utterly moronic.)
In this edition: AMC’s plan
to block MoviePass is utterly moronic.)
95,011
Donald Trump is endangering the lives of reporters by not denouncing his crowd for chanting “CNN sucks.”
Donald Trump is endangering the lives of reporters by not
denouncing his crowd for chanting “CNN sucks.”
95,012
Community fans have long understood that Shirley's ex-husband, Andre, is a womanizing jerk.
Community fans have long understood that Shirley's ex
-husband, Andre, is a womanizing jerk.
95,013
The bullshitter may not deceive us, or even intend to do so, either about the facts or about what he takes the facts to be.
The bullshitter may not deceive us, or even intend to do so,
either about the facts or about what he takes the facts to be.
95,014
That’s a tough thing to deal with, watching your mother die of something that could have been prevented.
That’s a tough thing to deal with, watching
your mother die of something that could have been prevented.
95,015
Curse you pesky women with your insatiable sexual needs – we’re playing Tetris, dammit!
Curse you pesky women with your insatiable sexual
needs – we’re playing Tetris, dammit!
95,016
“He had one hand covering his genitals, the other trying to cover his butt crack.
“He had one hand covering his genitals,
the other trying to cover his butt crack.
95,017
Though she is right in remarking the difference between the two (style > fashion), that certainly doesn't take away from the fact that she seriously needs to shut the fuck up.
Though she is right in remarking the difference between the two (style > fashion), that
certainly doesn't take away from the fact that she seriously needs to shut the fuck up.
95,018
For kick-ass feminist icons, I have a long history to choose from.
For kick-ass feminist icons, I
have a long history to choose from.
95,019
I'M NOT GETTIN RID OF MY FAT VINCENT PICTURE EVEN IF I GET MORE RUDE AS HELL COMMENTS.CYBERBULLIES CAN GO PISS OFF, THAT'S IT.THIS JUST FRUSTRATES ME SO MUCH AND JUST......
I'M NOT GETTIN RID OF MY FAT VINCENT PICTURE EVEN IF I GET MORE RUDE AS HELL
COMMENTS.CYBERBULLIES CAN GO PISS OFF, THAT'S IT.THIS JUST FRUSTRATES ME SO MUCH AND JUST......
95,020
Why yes, in case you’re curious, I also think it sounds like bullshit.
Why yes, in case you’re curious
, I also think it sounds like bullshit.
95,021
“If there were a tagline for the site,” says Ti, a photographer who claims no relevant academic credentials, “it would be ‘Fuck You, You Racist Sack of Shit.’”
“If there were a tagline for the site,” says Ti, a photographer who claims no
relevant academic credentials, “it would be ‘Fuck You, You Racist Sack of Shit.’”
95,022
This is a really simple AI: our industrious idiot bot will keep making random guesses until it finds the answer.
This is a really simple AI: our industrious idiot bot
will keep making random guesses until it finds the answer.
95,023
Nothing More Gives Nothing Less After being repeatedly screamed at to “stand the f#*k up”...
Nothing More Gives Nothing Less After being repeatedly screamed
at to “stand the f#*k up”...
95,024
“Fartbarf” indicated, to me, that they were gonna be some shitty, juvenile punk band, and I’ve got a soft spot for that kind of crap.
“Fartbarf” indicated, to me, that they were gonna be some shitty,
juvenile punk band, and I’ve got a soft spot for that kind of crap.
95,025
Probably my favorite quote regarding the puzzle ball was when one friend was hunched over intently trying to solve it, another yelled from across the room "you look like you just discovered your penis for the first time."
Probably my favorite quote regarding the puzzle ball was when one friend was hunched over intently trying to solve it,
another yelled from across the room "you look like you just discovered your penis for the first time."
95,026
Yes the ONLY WAY someone can be racist is if they use the exact words "I hate Hispanics"
Yes the ONLY WAY someone can be racist is if
they use the exact words "I hate Hispanics"
95,027
… Maybe we should have a line of penis microphones, because it is all that you need to have to pass out communion, to take up the offering.”
… Maybe we should have a line of penis microphones, because it is all that
you need to have to pass out communion, to take up the offering.”
95,028
Panicked, Henry went to the doctor and said, "My vagina is falling out of my body!"
Panicked, Henry went to the doctor and said,
"My vagina is falling out of my body!"
95,029
I know clubs better than I know my own cock, so you’re in good hands.
I know clubs better than I know my own
cock, so you’re in good hands.
95,030
-Fellow Republicans: An Emergency Plan to Stop Our Asses From Getting Kicked
-Fellow Republicans: An Emergency Plan
to Stop Our Asses From Getting Kicked
95,031
Crazy Joe Scarborough and dumb as a rock Mika are not bad people, but their low rated show is dominated by their NBC bosses.
Crazy Joe Scarborough and dumb as a rock Mika are not bad people
, but their low rated show is dominated by their NBC bosses.
95,032
With crew in tow, he asks aloud upon entering the store “what would happen if I just fucked this display up?”
With crew in tow, he asks aloud upon entering the store
“what would happen if I just fucked this display up?”
95,033
The girl, now seventeen and no longer a princess but a bastard was refused permission to see her ailing mother, she lost her household and her governess.
The girl, now seventeen and no longer a princess but a bastard was refused
permission to see her ailing mother, she lost her household and her governess.
95,034
I have heard a lot of people say things like this too (e.g., that a man's penis length is approximately one-half of his shoe size).
I have heard a lot of people say things like this too (e.g., that
a man's penis length is approximately one-half of his shoe size).
95,035
“I am Javed Iqbal, killer of 100 children… I hate this world, I am not ashamed of my action and I am ready to die.
“I am Javed Iqbal, killer of 100 children… I hate this world
, I am not ashamed of my action and I am ready to die.
95,036
let this be a warning, don’t fuck with zoe or anita anymore or this list grows.
let this be a warning, don’t fuck
with zoe or anita anymore or this list grows.
95,037
She came running up to me barking her head off and trying to seem like a total hard ass, but by the end of the night we were on the couch snuggled up for what would be the first of many petting sessions.
She came running up to me barking her head off and trying to seem like a total hard ass, but by
the end of the night we were on the couch snuggled up for what would be the first of many petting sessions.
95,038
(Note: in this quote, the four asterisks refer to Howard’s penis.)
(Note: in this quote, the
four asterisks refer to Howard’s penis.)
95,039
White women declaring they're denying white men sex reinforces the racist idea that sex with white women — and only white women — is some kind of prized commodity white men should have access to in the first place.
White women declaring they're denying white men sex reinforces the racist idea that sex with white women — and
only white women — is some kind of prized commodity white men should have access to in the first place.
95,040
Trump Adviser: After 7 Months, Trump Realizes ‘People Really F*cking Hate’ Him
Trump Adviser: After 7 Months, Trump
Realizes ‘People Really F*cking Hate’ Him
95,041
Drunken brawl on tour, telling a fan that he’ll fuck his life, crashing into an IPL party – Sharma has followed the consistent pattern of ‘In The News, Out of the Team’ for a long time now.
Drunken brawl on tour, telling a fan that he’ll fuck his life, crashing into an IPL party – Sharma
has followed the consistent pattern of ‘In The News, Out of the Team’ for a long time now.
95,042
Sidney Royel Selby III talks like he raps, and raps like a rusty motorcycle engine coughing into action: a fast, dirty baritone rumble that stutters and tumbles.
Sidney Royel Selby III talks like he raps, and raps like a rusty motorcycle
engine coughing into action: a fast, dirty baritone rumble that stutters and tumbles.
95,043
This probably falls into the category of a so-what's-the-problem problem: I'm a bearish 44-year-old who can't get a hot Latin 18-year-old guy to stop sucking my dick.
This probably falls into the category of a so-what's-the-problem problem: I'm a
bearish 44-year-old who can't get a hot Latin 18-year-old guy to stop sucking my dick.
95,044
Are you that stupid that you are just going to put me in the system as that, without any credentials or any paperwork or nothing?"
Are you that stupid that you are just going to put me in the
system as that, without any credentials or any paperwork or nothing?"
95,045
It had been a long time since Murray’s most famous book Niggers are Stupid The Bell Curve made him a conservative hero, so he was overdue for another big score.
It had been a long time since Murray’s most famous book Niggers are Stupid The
Bell Curve made him a conservative hero, so he was overdue for another big score.
95,046
She also tweeted, "'Member when I tried to leave; you grabbed me by the ass, looked at yourself in the mirror, & said what a ‘beautiful couple’ we made?"
She also tweeted, "'Member when I tried to leave; you grabbed me by the ass
, looked at yourself in the mirror, & said what a ‘beautiful couple’ we made?"
95,047
Tony Deval Ledbetter, 46, pleaded guilty in August to three counts of aggravated assault for choking and strangling his ex-girlfriend and using scissors to cut her nipples.
Tony Deval Ledbetter, 46, pleaded guilty in August to three counts of aggravated assault
for choking and strangling his ex-girlfriend and using scissors to cut her nipples.
95,048
He allegedly said “I’ll kill you” to his wife as he was intoxicated and pointing a loaded weapon at her, while their children slept in the next room.
He allegedly said “I’ll kill you” to his wife as he was intoxicated
and pointing a loaded weapon at her, while their children slept in the next room.
95,049
But I'm a grown lady, and I live with a pot-friendly friend in a city that gives no fucks about the skunky smell of burning marijuana wafting out my window.
But I'm a grown lady, and I live with a pot-friendly friend in
a city that gives no fucks about the skunky smell of burning marijuana wafting out my window.
95,050
I’m going to shoot him in the penis with a shotgun here in a second.”
I’m going to shoot him in the penis
with a shotgun here in a second.”
95,051
Are you tired of being repeatedly told you are “the oppressor” and the descendant of imperialists, rapists, thieves, racists, conquerors, and genocidal maniacs by our cultural Marxist overlords?
Are you tired of being repeatedly told you are “the oppressor” and the descendant of imperialists
, rapists, thieves, racists, conquerors, and genocidal maniacs by our cultural Marxist overlords?
95,052
But that’s far from a perfect solution — and, more to the point, it’s bullshit that your brand-new smartphone comes with less memory than an iPod Shuffle.
But that’s far from a perfect solution — and, more to the point, it
’s bullshit that your brand-new smartphone comes with less memory than an iPod Shuffle.
95,053
Waddles, now 67, proceeded to kiss the girl’s neck, put a hand inside her pants and touched her groin, Pease-Harkin said.
Waddles, now 67, proceeded to kiss the girl’s neck, put
a hand inside her pants and touched her groin, Pease-Harkin said.
95,054
He’s an unabashed coward, slickster and essentially a draft dodger whose rank means little.
He’s an unabashed coward, slickster and
essentially a draft dodger whose rank means little.
95,055
But our favorite has to be Chlorose’s take on Slobrow, because c’mon: Look how mad the shell is to be biting that Dick Butt! It’s very good. Advertisement [via Daily Dot]
But our favorite has to be Chlorose’s take on Slobrow, because c’mon: Look how mad the shell
is to be biting that Dick Butt! It’s very good. Advertisement [via Daily Dot]
95,056
We’re probably the only country in the world with a penis museum.
We’re probably the only country in
the world with a penis museum.
95,057
Dumb and Dumber To is proving to be a smart investment for all parties, as it debuted with a rather robust opening day figure.
Dumb and Dumber To is proving to be a smart investment for all
parties, as it debuted with a rather robust opening day figure.
95,058
But upon coming back to the plane, Southwest employees noticed that his shirt said “Broad Fucking City,” and swiftly booted him off the plane.
But upon coming back to the plane, Southwest employees noticed that his shirt
said “Broad Fucking City,” and swiftly booted him off the plane.
95,059
Mortgage broker Nick Lalli said: “Just trying to get home from the city and Uber f****** doubled the surge price.”
Mortgage broker Nick Lalli said: “Just trying to get home from the city
and Uber f****** doubled the surge price.”
95,060
The pub pays $300 for 20 vials of semen, which could be a pricey investment if people keep wanting to sample the drink.
The pub pays $300 for 20 vials of semen, which could
be a pricey investment if people keep wanting to sample the drink.
95,061
Is it possible for a book to look into my soul and proceed to let me know what an idiot I am?
Is it possible for a book to look into my soul
and proceed to let me know what an idiot I am?
95,062
Following in Madonna’s footsteps, Angelina Castro and Maggie Green are offering to give as many blowjobs as it takes to keep Donald Trump out of the White House.
Following in Madonna’s footsteps, Angelina Castro and Maggie Green are offering to give
as many blowjobs as it takes to keep Donald Trump out of the White House.
95,063
Boasting about your gamerscore is like measuring unicorn penises -- neither are real.
Boasting about your gamerscore is like measuring
unicorn penises -- neither are real.
95,064
One of his most popular posters simply says, “Big Government Sucks!”
One of his most popular posters simply
says, “Big Government Sucks!”
95,065
and the rest of me cringes and hisses at the screen because /none of you fuckers know that albinism is a disability and affects more than just white people/
and the rest of me cringes and hisses at the screen because /none of
you fuckers know that albinism is a disability and affects more than just white people/
95,066
But things are ugly, the rank and file – there’s just no way they are going to vote for this crap.
But things are ugly, the rank and file – there’s
just no way they are going to vote for this crap.
95,067
The vandals targeted five different buildings on campus, with messages like, “Fuck Joshua Martinez” and others calling to “doxx” Recalde-Martinez and the OCC College Republicans.
The vandals targeted five different buildings on campus, with messages like, “Fuck Joshua Martinez
” and others calling to “doxx” Recalde-Martinez and the OCC College Republicans.
95,068
A German insurance company decided to reward the success of its sales staff in a rather unusual way – with a prostitute-filled orgy.
A German insurance company decided to reward the success of its sales staff
in a rather unusual way – with a prostitute-filled orgy.
95,069
Of course, some scientists will tell you that many things rank higher than penis size when it comes to picking a mate.
Of course, some scientists will tell you that many things rank
higher than penis size when it comes to picking a mate.
95,070
A second passenger, who reported seeing Martin’s exposed penis, told an FBI agent that the “male passenger had his hand on the back of the female’s neck and ‘was in his own world.'”
A second passenger, who reported seeing Martin’s exposed penis, told an FBI agent that the “male passenger
had his hand on the back of the female’s neck and ‘was in his own world.'”
95,071
Trivia and there was only a dark night and desolate highway between Bobby Trivia and the start of a spectacular handjob from his wife.
Trivia and there was only a dark night and desolate highway between
Bobby Trivia and the start of a spectacular handjob from his wife.
95,072
Democrats are upset that Middle Class voters are tired of being raped by their anti-American policies.
Democrats are upset that Middle Class voters are tired
of being raped by their anti-American policies.
95,073
When it does, people without their heads on a swivel are liable to get knocked on their asses.
When it does, people without their heads on a
swivel are liable to get knocked on their asses.
95,074
But since life is a total bitch, aging also flings some serious horse shit our way, too, namely in the form of achy knees, the ‘dad bod,' and baldness.
But since life is a total bitch, aging also flings some serious horse shit our way,
too, namely in the form of achy knees, the ‘dad bod,' and baldness.
95,075
As a software developer in a large, scientific research lab, he's one of the few people not running around in a lab coat, mumbling about things like how to stabilize the latest batch of tretonin, or how only an idiot would name it isoprovalyn instead of hydrozapam.
As a software developer in a large, scientific research lab, he's one of the few people not running around in a lab coat
, mumbling about things like how to stabilize the latest batch of tretonin, or how only an idiot would name it isoprovalyn instead of hydrozapam.
95,076
Today’s band, Augustine Azul, coming from Brazil, was one of the few bands that instantly made me say : “Oh fuck, this is a huge, I already know I’m going to play this record so many times !“.
Today’s band, Augustine Azul, coming from Brazil, was one of the few bands that instantly made me say : “
Oh fuck, this is a huge, I already know I’m going to play this record so many times !“.
95,077
To stand out from the rest of the shirtless gun-selfies, I decided to take my pants off because I read online that women like it when random guys send them pictures of their dick.
To stand out from the rest of the shirtless gun-selfies, I decided to take my pants
off because I read online that women like it when random guys send them pictures of their dick.
95,078
(Though, we should probably thank those assholes for reinvigorating his creative process.)
(Though, we should probably thank those
assholes for reinvigorating his creative process.)
95,079
Nick Offerman says he's not a comedian but 'as long as I mention my balls every few minutes ...'
Nick Offerman says he's not a comedian but 'as
long as I mention my balls every few minutes ...'
95,080
“I feel like I was a real cocky motherfucker when I first started doing this,” Nathan Williams says of his Wavves project.
“I feel like I was a real cocky motherfucker when I first
started doing this,” Nathan Williams says of his Wavves project.
95,081
Mr Strauss-Kahn has always denied knowing that women who took part in orgies with him were prostitutes.
Mr Strauss-Kahn has always denied knowing that women
who took part in orgies with him were prostitutes.
95,082
I used to be majorly on the fence in my opinion of Amanda Fucking Palmer (AFP).
I used to be majorly on the fence in
my opinion of Amanda Fucking Palmer (AFP).
95,083
Farnsworth explains that he is a proud scientist who greatly admires classic geniuses of history, mainly Leonardo da Vinci, and it pains him that one of his ancestors (Fry) is such an idiot.
Farnsworth explains that he is a proud scientist who greatly admires classic geniuses of history, mainly Leonardo da
Vinci, and it pains him that one of his ancestors (Fry) is such an idiot.
95,084
She has a great body with fake but stunning 34E (75F) boobs that look amazing on her rather small frame.
She has a great body with fake but stunning 34E (
75F) boobs that look amazing on her rather small frame.
95,085
A Pink Mass turns the dead person gay, very much like the Mormon practice of baptizing the dead.
A Pink Mass turns the dead person gay, very
much like the Mormon practice of baptizing the dead.
95,086
On the YouTube posting Brown is heard to say, “When I say his [the agent’s] life is over, I don’t say I’m going to kill him; but I’m going to ruin his life and look into his [expletive deleted] kids.”
On the YouTube posting Brown is heard to say, “When I say his [the agent’s] life is over, I don’t
say I’m going to kill him; but I’m going to ruin his life and look into his [expletive deleted] kids.”
95,087
So when they say it’s a bad heat wave, they fucken well mean it, orrite?
So when they say it’s a bad heat
wave, they fucken well mean it, orrite?
95,088
It was unclear whether doctors had attempted to reattach the rapper’s penis.
It was unclear whether doctors had attempted
to reattach the rapper’s penis.
95,089
“And that’s when Hyacinthe pulled out his gun, said ‘I’m going to kill you’, held it about three or four feet from Whiteside’s head, and pulled the trigger.”
“And that’s when Hyacinthe pulled out his gun, said ‘I’m going to kill you
’, held it about three or four feet from Whiteside’s head, and pulled the trigger.”
95,090
I decided to revisit the build and update the thread after killing all the new shit since perandus. damage/life is much higher and the build is very endgame viable now.
I decided to revisit the build and update the thread after killing all the new shit since
perandus. damage/life is much higher and the build is very endgame viable now.
95,091
In the famous liberal two-step, they leap from one idiotic point to the next, so you can never nail them.
In the famous liberal two-step, they leap from one
idiotic point to the next, so you can never nail them.
95,092
Media mogul, showman and willing to play the buffoon but always with a sense of menace, Berlusconi was Tony Soprano in real life, a man to whom women were inevitably little more than a piece of ass.
Media mogul, showman and willing to play the buffoon but always with a sense of menace, Berlusconi was
Tony Soprano in real life, a man to whom women were inevitably little more than a piece of ass.
95,093
Racist racist racist racist racist racist 50s, racist Southern racist racist racist Southern Manifesto racist racist racist racist racist racist 1954.”
Racist racist racist racist racist racist 50s, racist Southern racist racist
racist Southern Manifesto racist racist racist racist racist racist 1954.”
95,094
So that begs the question of why the fuck you’re sexualizing periods or items required to live hygienically during one, wherein the answer is that you believe vaginas are inherently sexual and only exist as something to stick your dick in.
So that begs the question of why the fuck you’re sexualizing periods or items required to live hygienically during one,
wherein the answer is that you believe vaginas are inherently sexual and only exist as something to stick your dick in.
95,095
'Apprentice' bitch Omarosa Manigault isn't about to let some ‘Real Housewife' from Down Under rip-off her self-help book -- and now she's taking legal action to block the "bitch."
'Apprentice' bitch Omarosa Manigault isn't about to let some ‘Real Housewife' from Down Under rip-
off her self-help book -- and now she's taking legal action to block the "bitch."
95,096
I’ll say it again: The days when the Jewish people remained passive in the face of genocidal enemies – those days are over…
I’ll say it again: The days when the Jewish people remained
passive in the face of genocidal enemies – those days are over…
95,097
The short version is "He grew up in an abusive environment surrounded by a bunch of shitty rednecks."
The short version is "He grew up in an
abusive environment surrounded by a bunch of shitty rednecks."
95,098
But Stone landed two in the Top 10 -- Arrogant Bastard Ale at 7th, and Ruination IPA tied for ninth with Lagunitas Sucks and Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale -- and a total of five in the Top 50, more than any other brewery.
But Stone landed two in the Top 10 -- Arrogant Bastard Ale at 7th, and Ruination IPA tied for ninth with Lagunitas
Sucks and Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale -- and a total of five in the Top 50, more than any other brewery.
95,099
"Hey Jerk" Oracle CEO Larry Ellison is on a feisty emailing tear, in the wake of his pal Mark Hurd's ouster as CEO of HP.
"Hey Jerk" Oracle CEO Larry Ellison is on a feisty emailing tear,
in the wake of his pal Mark Hurd's ouster as CEO of HP.