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Depression for life It recently occurred to me that I've probably been depressed ever since I was a small child. I'm 30 now and I think I just don't know what life feels like without depression. Of course there are ups and downs over the years.
In therapy my diagnosis was mostly everything but depression, because it ... | 4 | [
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Depression has grabbed me by my throat and won't let go. Slowly it's choking me to death. | 4 | [
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Things are even worse I haven't left my bed in 2 days my bed doesn't even have sheets on them I can't get the energy to put any on. Any time I try to move I start to sob and curl up into a ball I don't want to live at all i just want to bash my head into the wall my thighs are bruised from me dragging my nails across t... | 1 | [
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Relationships and anxiety I hate how valentines makes me feel. I just wanted to fall asleep next to someone I cared about.
I don't want to get in a relationship because I'm really really sensitive and it scares me to give someone the ability to effect me emotionally.
Yet.....
I just really want to feel happy. I cra... | 2 | [
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Why does the loneliness and lack of self-worth feel like it’s constantly over my head? [deleted] | 4 | [
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[16M] Is it normal to be unable to connect with anyone after experiencing loss? I have nobody in my life right now, and life seems meaningless because of it. I think that committing suicide is a good idea, but I want to give it a few years first until I really really can't take it anymore before I go there.
I've seen ... | 4 | [
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Should I be dating? I know the saying goes, when in recovery, you should start with a plant, then a pet, then a person.
I'm about a month out of an IOP program, 10 months out of my last bout of inpatient stays (18 days in total). I still see my therapist weekly. I am still dealing with some nasty abandonment issues a... | 2 | [
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This is going to sound chessy,but to get out of depression I gotta learn to use my brain instead of being impulsive. I gotta try to use my brain, I gotta focus at the task at hand.
Gotta stop overthinking about what is going to happen, and focus on only what I am doing to do to get out of whatever life throws at me. | 4 | [
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Spouse making it worse? My husband refuses to even try to understand that my anxiety makes me feel physically ill and that panic attacks have real symptoms. He insists I am faking and screams at me which only makes it worse. I become so anxious around him trying to NOT be anxious it’s horrible. He is currently threaten... | 2 | [
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Previously diagnosed with MDD, suspect a misdiagnosis or shift to bipolar. Broke and UNINSURED IN THE UNITED STATES- what do I do? (potential tW) Greetings- been lurking here for about a month.
I've struggled with Major Depression for most of my life (diagnosed in my teens, am now 26), and believed myself to be relati... | 1 | [
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One more day If you look at my history. I’ve been talking about it for far too long. One more day. One more day till I leave this place. One more day the poison that I am will not infect the people I care about. One more day and the pain I feel will be gone. One more day.... | 0 | [
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I want to die, but I don't have the courage to commit suicide I have no motivation to live. I don't see myself getting anywhere in life. I don't have any skills, talents, accomplishments, or any real hobbies. I hate that I'm so stupid, so selfish, so socially incompetent, so incapable of performing even the most basic ... | 4 | [
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Sometimes, on slow nights like this, I say to myself "Maybe I'll kill myself tonight" [deleted] | 3 | [
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I don’t know why I did what I did and I can’t stop thinking about it [deleted] | 3 | [
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Possible missed dose of lamotrigine What are some withdrawal symptoms you have felt after one missed dose of lamotrigine?
Plus: What prescription were you at when you missed the dose and experienced withdrawal symptoms? Did you have any longer term effects, or was it fine the next day when you picked up again? | 1 | [
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Trying not to have my first meltdown of the year and I didn't know where else to post [deleted] | 1 | [
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My family underestimate my depression and say it's just me following other depressed teens. It frustrates me that no one takes my feelings seriously. I don't want to talk to anyone, I isolate myself but deep down I just want to be normal again. I failed my SAT's and that was my only way out of my situation. I feel guil... | 4 | [
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How to deal with these bad group members? :( For my final senior project, my friend who is extremely childish asked me to join her group. And just now I’m realizing this is the biggest mistake I’ve done.
I’m a high honor student and this course has a big number of credits so if I got a bad grade my GPA will decrease a... | 3 | [
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How to deal with depression around family? I’m going on a vacation soon and am staying with family and am wondering how you guys hide depression when in constant contact with family | 4 | [
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My sister's funeral director was an asshole. [NAW] My sister recently passed away, and the funeral home my parents and I used did a good job but two things that the director did made me angry.
1) Tried to steer us away from having an open casket because my sister had dyed pink hair. Like, what? The people who loved he... | 3 | [
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Worst night ever So I decided to go out last night up to Sonora. Which is an hour from where I live. My friend was telling me to come and go bar hopping with him. So we did. And he told me I could crash at his place. Long story short I ended up getting ditched by my friend and was alone all night. I was an hour away fr... | 4 | [
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Haiku (Real life experience) This is a real life situation that happened to me a few days ago in the school therapist's waiting room. I gave up writing a long time ago because my self-diagnosed dysphoria made me feel like it wasn't worth it for years. I have gotten so low in my life that I'm starting to write again as ... | 4 | [
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Question that inner critic that tells you that you aren't good enough or that you are stupid,fat or anything else it says! your thoughts aren't always right just because you believe you aren't good enough doesn't mean you are! | 4 | [
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Solo Traveling in a different country I'm in Amsterdam in a hostel away from home. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to force myself to meet people but here I am in a packed dorm not having had a meaningful conversation with anyone. Meanwhile there are dorm beds empty as girls keep shacking up with guys... | 4 | [
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I need someone to talk to.... Thinking things over about my future with this girl, ugh it's complicated...
Anyone ears out their so I can get your opinions. Thanks... | 4 | [
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Quit drinking and started on meds again, this is day 1. When I was first diagnosed with GAD at 16, I was put on meds and they worked well four almost four years. I came off of both my depression and anxiety meds around 20 and moved half way across the country from home. Surprisingly, I was fine for the first year or so... | 2 | [
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Whats the point What is the fucking point. We're going to die one day anyway so what is the point of continuing to live if everyday is just a struggle. Just what the fuck. The only reason I'm alive is becauss my dad is still alive but if he died id be gone. But either way what does it matter I dont even know why I exis... | 4 | [
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DAE experience “Work place” anxiety? Don’t know if that’s even a thing, but I find that I’m a completely different person at work. I get a knot in my stomach when I walk thru the doors, and get so nervous when talking to anyone who is higher up than me. It’s like sometimes I can’t even get words out when speaking to so... | 2 | [
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Should I quit my job? I need some urgent advice. [deleted] | 4 | [
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Therapy it saddens me knowing that in college the only time you will receive help for mental illness is when it’s already too late. if a student is telling you “i feel my sanity deteriorating” your next question is immediately “are you suicidal?” if i answer no, does that make me any less of a threat to myself? When I ... | 3 | [
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The memes on this sub are what get me through the day Thank you, creative people | 1 | [
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I feel like my will to live is very fragile and dependent [deleted] | 0 | [
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I’m new I’m new to this subreddit but I’m very grateful to be here ! I’m 21, I got diagnosed as manic depression (type 2) in October. Previously I was missed diagnosed with depression and general anxiety. I’ve been on and off the same medication since I was 16. It’s currently not working so I’ve had to take a break aga... | 1 | [
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i'll never be like them sorry, i'm just using this as a venting ground to share my thoughts.
all the people i look up to and admire are so.. strong, and personable, and friendly
i can't ever be that, even if i try. all i ever hear is "you're so shy" and "why do you never talk?" and it just kills me. i wish i could be... | 4 | [
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Can depressives help each other? I un-subbed from this page a while ago for my own good as it was (obviously) depressing, but I found myself back here today as the pre-Christmas dread sets in and just looking through the daily thread there's this intense desire to help pulling against the other acknowledgement that I'd... | 4 | [
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I just need to vent First time doing this, usually let it fester but I'm trying not to self harm anymore.
My boyfriend and I had a major fight today, a relationship ending one. He took me back but the guilty feeling and anxiety is remaining, because this fight made me realize that I truly am this despicable.
After my... | 0 | [
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anyone feel like you're doing this to yourself? i keep thinking that i'm faking everything out, that i can move and be happy again but it's like i'm forcing myself to not be happy and i can't understand why. I don't know why i'm self harming and i don't know how i feel, whether happy or sad or neutral or anything.
it'... | 4 | [
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Is my cat sensing my panic attacks or just being an ass? So very recently I had a panic attack due to some pretty unfortunate events. My cat, a seal-point Siamese, started knawing on my hand. I know my ragged breathing probably annoyed him but he seemed slightly concerned. He got up and sat by my face and tried to gnaw... | 2 | [
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Conflicted happiness? Once I start making a plan to kill myself, I get this huge wave of relief that everything will be fine. If I attempt and fail I get stuck feeling so negative but the time in between that is pure bliss. Why is this? Does anyone else feel that conflicred emotion? I also still worry about the mental... | 4 | [
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Coping day-to-day How do you cope (not necessarily treat) your bad depression on a day-to-day basis? Daily mantra, eating, drugs.......? Whatever. What I do is tell myself that no matter what I will never feel better. Whether genetics or experiences its here to stay and I have to get mentally tougher. This help me filt... | 4 | [
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I'm so lost... I just want to be myself again.I am full of anger,sadness,hate...can't escape.I am about to lost any trace of hope inside me.I can't take it anymore.I hate everyone for their happyness...I just want them to feel my pain.What the fuck we did to deserve this destoyed lives...I feel so lost,tired,empty...al... | 4 | [
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Emotional and energy vampire An emotional and energy vampire is the person that feels low , lack of self worth , unhappy , negative , lack of self confidence , they search for prey until they find one , they suck her dry and leave with all the positive energy and good emotions , leaving the prey to die slowly and miser... | 3 | [
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Hangovers make it all worse You feel like you're just going through the motions, like there's no point to anything anymore. You wonder why you even bothered to wake up in the morning when all you endure is pain. Your movements get more and more uncontrollable and your mind races. | 4 | [
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TIL I'm an internet creep and scared someone of the internet Using a throwaway. Re-reading my story it sounds very rambly, but I'm kinda shaken by this. I'm open to any questions/will answer them 100% truthfully (safe some personal details). I want to give a full picture.
So I'm a dude and met this girl in an online g... | 3 | [
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Running out of time I was diagnosed bipolar when I was 15, lived with constant bullying and humiliation and emotional neglect from my family and peers as a child. I am 30 now. I started CB therapy and Lithium 3 years ago after staying five nights in a psych ward.
It has not gotten easier. This disease is more overpowe... | 1 | [
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I give up I don't do it easily. But congratulations.
I told myself you were just scared, defending yourself, thoughtless, hurting. Maybe you are all of those things but the denial's thick enough you believe your problems aren't there.
But tonight I reread a few things you sent me recently and I think I got it. You f... | 3 | [
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Don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m going to die soon. I know it is a common thing to think as I have health anxiety, but I just can’t seem to get the feeling away from me. I really feel my time is up soon and I’m not ready and I’m scared. I don’t know what to do.
Has anyone else gone through a time where they fel... | 2 | [
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Driving your dog to Maine Over thanksgiving dinner my uncle told us about his friend from college, Andy.
Andy was relatively successful salesman in the Boston area in the couple decades after he graduated college. He had a house, car, all the stuff he wanted. But, he wanted to find something bigger. Who knows if it ... | 4 | [
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In order to not be hated in my own house, I have to pretend to be someone I’m not. [deleted] | 4 | [
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Weird habits? Does anyone else ever make food and then just throw it all away for no reason? I thought I had gotten past doing that but here I am, still hungry from throwing out my dinner because I suddenly felt upset at it. | 1 | [
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i have 140 pills on one side of me and a suicide note on the other. i have been sitting here trying to figure out another way to cope w everything and i can’t. if any of you are out there and have anything that can help. please. i’m desperate. i just need relief. [deleted] | 0 | [
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I want to kill myself but don't want to hurt my mother I want to kill myself, but don't want to hurt my mother, my father has never cared about me so I don't worry about him but I know my mother would be devastated and don't know if she could get over it. Still I want to kill myself… | 0 | [
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Guess who just spent $800+ on Amazon for no reason!! [deleted] | 1 | [
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My wife can't cook. I'm a stay at home dad, just lucky enough to retire early. I also love to cook. For the last 4 years I've been consistently making dinner at least 4 nights a week. I've been cooking as a hobby for 30 years though.
Last week I made a cheese tortellini in meat sauce from scratch. The tomato sauce ... | 3 | [
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Every part of my life has fallen to pieces [deleted] | 4 | [
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Back Where I Started Last Christmas Eve it was too much to bear. I told my husband we had to leave. I had decided that day was going to be my last and I couldn't take it anymore. Surrounded by family - but already dead inside, unable to feel any connection, any future, any purpose.
I was hospitalized the next day. Th... | 0 | [
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Feel bad every time I say something remotely not nice to someone Always with the stupidest shit... I'm trying to talk to my mom and my little sister keeps butting in so I said can you stop talking... Now I'm the one who feels bad about it. Honestly fucking sick of saying shit then feeling bad about it right after. | 2 | [
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Loss of appetite Hi all again. I’ve been losing my appetite lately and getting more and more anxious throughout the day. I no longer have insurance until January. I’m losing weight steadily, has this happened to anyone or does anyone have any suggestions on how to help solve this? | 2 | [
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Been dating my coworker/friend and I'm now realizing that work may be the end of us... We work in a restaurant where she's much closer to the family that owns it than I am so she recently took on a lot more responsibility which has stressed her out a lot... leading her to take it out on me. We used to talk and joke wit... | 3 | [
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I can't eat or talk anymore I haven't been able to eat good ever since I got depressed when the start of summer came, this year.
My mom and everyone keeps worrying about me. They keep suggesting things for me to eat. But my stomach is linked to how I feel. I just feel too down to eat.
And I keep venting on Reddit ... | 4 | [
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Any emotion I feel, feels like its too much or too little. I feel like its never enough to be worth mentioning to anyone because i cant describe it as anything more than different chestpain/itchiness/migraines that just sppear sometimes. Its ruined my whole life. [21F] | 2 | [
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It's actually happened to me, I am contemplating suicide... [deleted] | 0 | [
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Feeling Overwhelmed. Hey guys.
I'm kind of at the end of my rope here. I think I just need someone to talk to, and since there aren't many people that fit the bill I'll just post here.
I'm am not as far along as I want to be in my life... I just finished my two year degree in "General Studies" (after working on it f... | 4 | [
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I just had my second meet with my school's psychologist! Hi all of you!
As the title said, I just had my second meet/appointment with him and I for the first time in my life feel like I'm moving forward in my life.
I only a few months ago discovered anxiety has controlled my life for most of my life and I most likely... | 2 | [
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I don’t understand how people can bring themselves to give a shit about things. [removed] | 4 | [
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I'm addicted to abuse Physical, emotional, verbal, it doesn't matter, I can't get enough of it. I've never been physically abused myself but media allows me to experience it vicariously.
It's awful. I know it is. I don't know what to do about it though. When I'm in a relationship (friendship, dating, etc.) if they'r... | 3 | [
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Some things I wanted to get off my chest. I also posted this in r/suicidewatch but I want to see if anyone else feels a similar way here.
I always know that I'll end myself. Even when I have good days, I know it's not really me. It's just a projection of some hollow false happiness created by the sertraline. So even o... | 4 | [
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I have bad social anxiety, especially with my bfs friends. Please help :( So as rhe title suggests, I have crippling social anxiety and I'm nor a very soxial person in the 1st place. I either open uo to a person immedeately or I never can, its always these two extremes of thw spectrum, there's bo grey area for me.
Un... | 2 | [
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Waiting till after the holidays to off myself. I left my job in September and I have been on a downwards spiral ever since. I gave up my job because I gave up on life and so I have used up all of my savings and I am now close to maxing out my credit card.
I'm tired of convincing myself everyday that I'm worthless. It's... | 4 | [
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Coping With Depression with False Laughter Does anyone here try to combat their depression with laughter and jokes when dealing with people?
I've been known by my friends to be the jokester, the guy that makes people laugh. What none of them know is that I do it because I'm trying hard to not to feel depressed, and I... | 4 | [
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When do these antidepressants kick in? I am 29 days into Celexa 20mg. When do these kick in? Still depressed, insomnia, acid reflux, stress, very tired side effects.
Thanks | 4 | [
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I think about dying everyday I'm 18. I don't know why I'm like this.
I've never told anyone that I'm depressed or that I have constant suicidal thoughts. I think some people know that I'm not the happiest of people and that I'm pretty awkward and quiet around people. My mom always says that I'm such a negative person.... | 4 | [
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Living instead of existing is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. [deleted] | 4 | [
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I fucked up real bad. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so needy and weak. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I fucked up. I'm sorry I just want to be alone. I'm sorry that when I am I want you here with me. I'm sorry.
Fuckkkkkk! I'm sorry! I'm so fucking sorry! Please forgive me | 4 | [
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Bailed last minute on a wedding I was getting dressed and nothing fits me because I've gained a bunch of weight and I worked myself up so much my stomach hurts and I just couldn't do it and now I've been crying in bed for an hour. I know that's a run on sentence because that's what my fucking life feels like right now.... | 2 | [
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I can't rememeber the last time I was happy [deleted] | 4 | [
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A high-schooler who's single and ready to kill himself. (x-posted from /r/suicidewatch) I can't take living anymore. I'm a 16 year old guy in 11th grade without a single real friend, a girlfriend, or a reason to live for myself. People tell me that it's okay to be alone or lonely but it's not. I feel like if I had some... | 4 | [
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Does anyone remember the video about a wrestler who uses a weird technique to reduce anxiety? He Would Make Weird Facial Gestures And Yelling Before A Big Fight. There Was A Video Of Him talking about this technique he would use before a big fight. | 2 | [
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Trying to come to terms with myself I got diagnosed a year and a half ago, just before I got with my current partner, and I want to understand my Bipolar 2 diagnosis better because I’ve been shunning it a bit and had difficulty taking my meds but I’m finally at a stage where I feel like I can post on this subreddit and... | 1 | [
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All I can do is think about the blankness now My life feels like a sham. I am 23 years old working basically a dead end job that I have no desire to work in. My original plans were to use my undergraduate to get into professional school but I can't get into any of them so I am on the verge of giving up on those. I prob... | 4 | [
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I psychologically fucked up my sister My sister and I are 5 years apart. Growing up, she was always hyper, happy, and super smiley. She would always want to take pictures and just laugh and have a good time. When I was in 4th grade and she was in Kindergarten, I bullied the fuck out of her. A mixture between me being a... | 3 | [
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I wish some Fuckin alien kidnaps me and do whatever fuck they want. | 4 | [
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Support for stopping my compulsions today Hey guys!
The last couple of weeks I have been doing ERP to help me overcome my health related ocd. Today I gave in badly to my compulsions. I found a sensitive spot on my body that I thought it was problematic (no signs of problem) and I start checking it over and over again.... | 2 | [
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Want to be dead but don't want to have to go through dying If I could just be dead or die in my sleep I think I would. I hate almost everything about myself, and I don't think it's going to get better. The only thing stopping me is that I'm too scared of being hurt or of whatever method I end up trying not working and ... | 0 | [
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I think I'm going to kill myself.. This suicide thing... I think I'm getting closer and closer to doing it | 0 | [
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Questions about helping a friend who is suffering from anxiety Hello all,
I myself am not suffering from anxiety, although I consider myself a shy, introverted and anxious person at times. I know it is nowhere near what you need to go through, and I want to say that I think you are all stars.
I have a new friend, an... | 2 | [
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Question about a recent issue So I have experienced this three times today. It's only ever happened one or two other times in my life.
I have a feeling that I've accessed a memory from a dream that I shouldn't have accessed in my waking life. It escapes me. But as soon as I think of it I get the feeling of some sort ... | 2 | [
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This is how i overcame my anxiety. Find a therapist and get medication if you need it. They saved my life. I barely had any side-effects. First weeks will be tough.
**Do** things you that make you scared. Scared of getting outside? Go outside every day. Scared of making social interactions? Push your comfort levels. ... | 2 | [
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I’m a good person but I hate myself because of depression... Anyone else flip themselves off in the mirror or pretend to shoot themselves with their hand constantly? | 4 | [
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Wife cheated and took my kids Back in August I found out “the love of my life” cheated on me. I’ve been in and out of psyc wards for the last few months and even attempted suicide. That’s when I found out that she never loved me. When I woke up in the ER she never came or even called. I haven’t been able to see my kids... | 0 | [
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Defying Diagnosis | A poignant New Yorker article about Linda Bishop who Refused to acknowledge her illness and starved to death alone in a farmhouse. I found the article incredibly poignant as I hate my diagnosis and also find it difficult to accept. I also question my insight, sometimes wondering if I aren't more del... | 1 | [
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I don't know what I need I want to make a hole in the wall, or break my hand, depending on which part of the bathroom wall I punch. This is the first time I've realised in the moment that this irascible anger is anxiety. Which explains why I've never known how to deal with it, because I only knew how to deal with dep... | 2 | [
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Tried to kill myself last Tuesday and haven't been able to stop thinking about it since Last Tuesday I tried and failed to kill myself by suspension hanging, falling down after I went unconscious. I've since told 2 close friends, who are supportive, but I'm sure they're getting tired of being bothered by me. One asked ... | 0 | [
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My brother had to physically lift me but i got out of bed :) | 4 | [
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Is it unwise to reveal my having Bipolar II to the local workforce/unemployment office? Is it unwise to reveal my having Bipolar II to the local workforce/unemployment office?
----
They say that my disclosure would never be revealed to prospective employers and that by doing so, I may be eligible for additional career... | 1 | [
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Is it normal to have thoughts/fantasies about wanting to die? [deleted] | 0 | [
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Recent bout of insomnia, scared to sleep I started Prozac and soon as I upped my dose to a full pill I lost all ability to sleep normally. I’d wake up every two hours like a new born with extreme anxiety, tremors, and feeling like I drank 16 cups of coffee. Sleep is now a luxury, and after a week i can now officially g... | 2 | [
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I'm in a snowball of repressed feelings and I can't get out of it I'm an introvert. It's not easy for me to make friends, and living abroad makes it even harder. My friends here are not as close to me as those back home and I don't really have someone that I can open up to. However, lately I've been struggling more and... | 3 | [
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