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Kills me to read these posts It's kills me because I feel every word. A lot of these posts it feels like people are sucking the thoughts out of my head and regurgitating it through their mouths. I really wish i could help those who are going through what I'm going through. But I'm still trying to figure out how to help myself. I wish and had an idea of anti depression work shops. Kind of like a gym but for your mind . A place where you work on your mental health with others support . Does anybody know of something like this ?
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self.depression
|
Anger/anxiety I have issues with getting really angry out of nowhere, usually the anger is irrational. I have a plan for everything in my head and I feel like if it goes off course, everything will go wrong. And when things don't go as I planned, I get very anxious and in turn very angry. This happens a lot. Does anyone else experience this? If so, how do you deal?
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self.Anxiety
|
I hate social interaction Obviously I'm an introvert and have been since I can remember.
I had a stage when I was 18/19 where I LOVED parties. I was in college and went to several. I think I mainly liked them because there was always alcohol and I was underage. There was sort of a "forbidden" vibe about it.
I'm only in my early 20s and already so tired of most parties/get togethers. I love spending time with my husband and most family members but that's about it.
It's not that I hate people, it's just that I'd rather be at home doing my own thing. I don't actually have any people (other than family) that I hang out with. I'm 100% fine with this though.
My husband is the complete opposite of me. He has lots of friends and loves social events. Sometimes he worries about me and says maybe I should hang out with people I work with or make friends some other way. I'm not interested though. I'm happy this way.
The only bad thing is that sometimes I worry that maybe what I'm doing isn't healthy.
I don't completely avoid people: I work and go out some. I just don't have any desire to make friends or go to events.
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self.offmychest
|
I am habitually late to everything. I've been like this for the past 5 years, and I'm 20 now. It is so ingrained into my behaviors that even when I seem to actively try and get somewhere on time, something I do inevitably leads me to being late. It doesn't just include arriving at places I need to be, either. It encompasses mass procrastination, too. The anxiety of failing keeps me from even trying (paradox of the self-fulfilling prophecy).
Just looking for advice from people who have effectively dealt with this.
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self.Anxiety
|
My medication [Sodium Valproate 100mg daily] doesn't seem to be working, i still want to take my life almost daily. Has 1000mg sodium valproate worked for anyone, and if so, how long did it take?
I don't feel any better. I've sunken back into suicidal thoughts and I miss the magic of life from when I was manic. I don't know how long I'm going to last this way.
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self.bipolar
|
Idk Hello,
I am so alone. I have been alone since the day I was born, and will remain alone till the day I begin decomposing 6 feet under. I have no friends, no love, and nobody in general. I live with my parents and spend my days sitting at home all alone doing nothing. My loneliness has began to have a serious toll on my confidence, to the point where now I have absolutely no confidence in myself. I am beyond depressed, and have nobody to talk to, and nobody to help me through the day. I don’t see a point in continuing onward knowing I will never find love, and knowing I will remain a failure forever.
Cheers!
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I've struggled to be with women I like all my life and have failed each time because I believe there are negative perceptions of my dark skin which seems to put women off?I'm 30 in a few days which marks the day I will completely change my life because I can't take it anymore. [deleted]
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self.offmychest
|
does anyone else struggle with night terrors? Advice for getting rid of them? I've [25F] had night terrors and slept walked since I was a kid, but the last time this happened was three years ago...until a few nights ago. I woke up in the middle of the night completely terrified of I-don't-know-what and convinced that if I just laid down and closed my eyes I would die. It's like being trapped in a cloud of fear and not being able to find my way out or think clearly. I have to basically walk around in a circle in my bedroom until I can calm down enough to get back in bed. This has now happened three times in the last week.
I'm familiar with this feeling but like I said, it's been a few years since I've dealt with it. I would consider myself overall less anxious and depressed than I ever have been. Typically, the night terrors would be much more frequent when I was very anxious/depressed. I got on Prozac a few months ago (which is helping immensely), I just finished the first semester of my master's program, and I'm on a 2-week vacation from work for the holidays. I should be feeling great!
I'm concerned about these night terrors coming back into my life. Last night I scared my boyfriend half to death when I woke up screaming and then couldn't go back to bed because I was so wound up. Has anyone else here struggled with night terrors and possibly found a way to deal with them?
tl;dr: Dealing with night terrors again after I thought I got rid of them. Anyone have any insight or advice?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Annoyed being dragged into stuff without further notice. So I went down to Mexico with family as planned and we went to the capital where my family lives by. So today we went down town where it is a tourist attraction and we went down to get food and it was going fine. Till we went to a one building and only to find out it was a horror house and used actual artifacts from graves. So they took me in and I went in clueless. We went down a set of stairs and I caught on what was going to happen. Walked into my first jump scare and I left. Now I sit in embarrassement in the lobby of the building typing this.
The part that agitates me the most is that they didn't warn me nor that they acknowledge my anxiety which honestly interfears with my life.
So that's my day and sorry if I caused any triggering.
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self.Anxiety
|
forgetful For your birthday I wanted to do something special for you so I got you the shoes you liked and I stayed up so I could be the first person to wish you a happy birthday. You forgot my birthday.
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self.offmychest
|
New Years Resolution: less social media I find that social media sites, specifically for me, Facebook & Instagram make me crazy.
I end up only stalking people I hate to hate read/watch. I've been on Facebook for 11 years and Instagram for 5. I cannot bear the thought of looking back on my life and realizing how much time I wasted being on social media/being negative.
So my resolution is to be off those sites as long as I can. I've been weaning myself off the past week and so far it's been wonderful. I know I'll be challenged as soon as I go back to work.
Anyone have similar resolutions? Feel the same about social media? Share away!
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self.Anxiety
|
Why can't I just do it? I hate myself for being so scared. I've got tons of pills, knives, access to a really high bridge. Goddamn it, why can't I ever take some initiative?
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Oh fuck ! I'm 21 years old and was diagnosed with bipolar I a couple years ago. I've been on and off meds since I was 16 (first diagnosed with major depressive disorder). About three months ago I went through a horrific breakup and stopped my meds cold turkey, wow what an idea. My ex and I got back together about a month ago, only for him to leave again. The back and forth he's put me through has been really fucking be up. As someone with bipolar disorder, I feel as though my emotions are extremely intense compared to the emotions of others- I feel like nobody understands how much I'm really hurting. I've been manic as fuck, awake for days, not eating, etc.
so, my fellow bipolar friends: how have you dealt with break ups and kept yourself afloat? My ex and I were together for over three years.
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self.bipolar
|
Not sure what to do anymore... I can't handle my father anymore. I don't think I get abused as much for me to be complaining but I don't want to be here anymore. I think of running away or do something I will always regret. I don't even know anymore..
My father has anger issues. He breaks my stuff, he abuses my mom and he likes control. I have to listen to his every single "command" he give. I help him and their friends with their technical issues at any moment or I can't live inside my house. I have to help him in everything or I can live in this street. Those are his words.
I am the eldest so I must help him. If I tell him please wait 1 minute, he lashes out on me. Today, he wanted me to do something for him that I have done 3 times. I submitted a request for him to receive documents that have a waiting period. I try to get those documents everyday but today I was playing a game and asked him to wait for 5 minutes. He lashed out on me. He started to hit me and I couldn't take it. I started to yell and curse at him because this happens every time. I must follow command or there will be issues.
Money is another issue. He makes money but he sends it to his family in another country. He will barely provide for me and my family. He sneaks away thousands and gives us nothing. If I am gone, he will not have to worry.
I have no friends to talk to. I just play games and I don't bother anyone. I like to play games. But playing alone all the time gets to you. You get depressed and see you have no one while you see all the people you know hanging out and having a good time. They have a nice life that I wish I can have. Everyone on Facebook doesn't have to deal with my father like I do. No one has the same problems like I do. I talk to 2 people everyday and I see people having conversations with everyone.
I just want to have some friends that I can talk to. Even with these two people I talk to, they don't know what I go through. They are just people who I wait and am desperate to talk to.
I honestly have no idea what to do. I think about ending it all but I don't want to hurt my mother. But i just want it all to end
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Fairly certain antidepressants are messing with my sleep, has anyone else experienced this? I’m having trouble falling asleep at night, and can’t get back to sleep when I wake up in the morning. I don’t feel refreshed after sleep and I keep being restless throughout the day. If I go to try and take a nap I feel uncomfortable in addition to the restlessness. Even if I feel tired, a good nap just won’t happen for me and I end up getting back out of bed. I feel like my antidepressants are at least partly responsible for my sleep problems.
I’ve tried quitting drinking and quitting caffeine but it hasn’t helped much. I don’t even sleep well if I smoke weed anymore. I used to be able to sleep in until the afternoon if I really wanted to, but not anymore.
I also have IBS and that has been worse in the morning. I experience gas, discomfort and urgency and need to get out of bed to relieve myself. It could be that my IBS is making my sleep worse too, or it could be that my IBS is worse because of my lack of sleep.
Anyway does anyone know what medication might help with my sleep? I’m currently on an SSRI (Fluvox). I’m going to chat to my doctor obviously, just wanted to get some advice here too.
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self.Anxiety
|
Help!! I asked for help earlier and my thread instantly got downvoted to 0 and no one helped me and someone replied asking what I was on
IT WAS VERY EMOTIONAL AND I'M STILL BOTHERED BY WHAT I POSTED I RLY NEED HELP
anyways now what I need help with is I posted this in the aspberger syndrome sub-reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/7i1j79/im_sick_of_these_pants/
and ppl thought I was making fun of ppl with aspbergers
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
DUDE IIITJIOET
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH
my pants rly do bother me
I've been too nervous to complain about it online for months cuz I thought ppl online would say "the solution is obvious buy new pants or a belt or something" but I finally posted about it and
ppl replied saying they think I'm making fun of support groups and trolling them and I AM NOT!!
I AM NOT!!!
I've always been a very shy quiet kid in school!!
The social services lady that takes me places says I'm a good kid!!
I posted earlier about the only thing I care about in life besides making games and 900 other things, is what ppl online think about me
I already posted on here about how I'm lonely and really want help and I dunno why people don't like me on here, but my thread got downvoted to 0 and ppl asked what I was on: https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/7i0p7j/help/
I said before months ago how I'm scared to talk to ppl and on steam ppl usually would ask if I'm a troll cuz I talk so weird but I'm not and
I feel so traumatized
I have to go to sleep soon, I go with social services people tomarrow to go places and
its 3am I can't sleep I feel really bad that ppl said they think I'm trolling support groups when I'm not
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self.Anxiety
|
Is anyone else smart but otherwise completely useless? My whole life I've been told that I'm smart. And I guess that's possible. But I have no other redeeming qualities. My depression and my anxiety just sap all of the energy that I might use for life things. I'm constantly tired but to the outside observer I just look lazy. My mind is too clouded to concentrate on doing anything well. It takes so much effort to deal with all the paperwork and money management of life. I can't find a job. I owe money to like four different hospitals because of all the times I went to the E.R. thinking I was dying from something that turned out to be a panic attack. I still live at home six years after I should've been on my own.
I'm smart enough to write about the way I feel and express it to other people and spend hours dwelling on the state of my life. But I'm not strong enough for the other 99% of life. It's a lonely feeling.
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self.depression
|
First Post! Does anyone else have trouble concentrating while reading? Help! Hey, guys. Great sub. I’m 27 male, and I’ve been dealing with anxiety for ten years or so. Just recently I’ve noticed it becoming harder and harder to concentrate on what I’m reading. I don’t even remember this being an issue before. Is this anxiety or ADD or something? Thanks
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self.Anxiety
|
I ended a close friendship because she wasn't going fast and hard enough for manic me [deleted]
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self.bipolar
|
As I was falling asleep last night I got a panic attack + racing thoughts. Didn't fall asleep from 5:30AM ? So last night I went to bed at 2:30AM, when I turned the light off and tried to sleep I started feeling like my throat was burning, I felt stress, and dizzy! I also had racing thoughts, my thoughts was all over the place (felt like I thought about 100 different things on 1 second).
As I was falling asleep I got a panic attack or something, I can't describe it exactly. But it felt like I was panicking, I googled quickly what this is and it said anxiety, but idk if that was it. Have u guys ever experienced this? How do u deal with it? This was like the second time In 2 months I had this. It kept me awake for 3h last night! Also can it be dangerous?
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self.Anxiety
|
Suicidal ideation but not depressed? I'm sure this has been answered a million times, but I can't find an answer that fits my specific situation, so wanted to ask myself. I don't know if I should post this in /suicidewatch because I'm sitting at work thinking about this and won't go home tonight or in the future to try and commit suicide, but I will move it there if people think it's more appropriate there.
I think about suicide a lot. At least once a day but probably more, and it isn't a fleeting though; I dwell on it. Recently my favorite band lost its lead singer to suicide and when I found out the method, the first thing that came into my head was "yeah, this is how I'd do it too." Yesterday I was driving down the road and couldn't really shake the idea of "yeah, I could totally just slam my car into this highway median going 90mph," and almost felt a physical tension as my conscious mind restrained my arm from turning the wheel.
That being said, I'm not actively suicidal in that I don't want to die, and while I was diagnosed with depression ten years ago when I was a Peace Corps volunteer, it was largely considered a malpractice diagnosis and was situational at best.
I don't mind being alive, and I have fun with the people I love, do the things I'm interested in doing, have an amazing family who loves me, etc. A lot of the time I feel happy. I just get really tired sometimes (a lot), everything seems like a hassle to a degree, and in areas of my life professionally especially, I feel like I'm always coasting on mediocre and feel like I'll always be mediocre / kind of lost in what I'm doing (and if someone feels otherwise and that I'm doing really well, it's because somehow I pulled the wool over their eyes). I can't concentrate on ANYTHING. It takes a lot to get me out of the house to do social things, but once I do, I enjoy myself, and I travel a lot. Life simultaneously seems like it's flying by and like it's creeping along.
Is this normal? Is this something I should be worried about? I'm having a hard time even verbalizing this in a way that I feel like makes sense.
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self.depression
|
I miss myself A couple of years ago, my boyfriend and I split up. It was a mutual decision. It was hard for a week or two, and then I was fine. I was excited for the future, for the possibilities.
I was completely happy living on my own, spending time with friends, studying. I didn't have sex for a year and didn't miss it. I was living from fun time to fun time, always looking forward to another event.
And now... I'm such a mess. I knew there was something not quite right when I started having sex again and falling for any guy who showed me just a bit of interest, but I didn't realize how bad it would be.
I met someone, a year and a half ago, who liked me just the same. Who loved me. We were together for about a year, and he was the light of my life. I wouldn't go to some stuff because I wanted to be with him, I neglected uni because I wanted to be with him. I just wanted him, because when I was with him I was so so happy.
And then he left. About five months ago. He left because of valid reasons, that had more to with his state of mind than me. He assured me that I didn't do anything wrong, that he loved me still. But he had to choose himself.
I haven't been fine since. I don't recognize myself anymore. Things that used to bring me joy are now just distractions from the pain.
I sleep too late. I get up too late. I smoke too much. I don't study enough. I don't work out.
Sure, I do stuff because it's a distraction. It's not that kind of bad where you just lie in your bed all day.
But every day I cry because I think I'm such a failure. I have not felt happy since he left. I know this is a problem. I'm in therapy and have been diagnosed with depression.
I just miss being happy so much. I miss being completely content with myself. I miss not needing anyone to be happy. I miss looking forward, instead of looking back. I miss being confident. I miss me.
I want to be that girl again. I want so much, but I do so little. Sometimes I just want to give up.
I can't, not yet. I have to keep trying. I have to keep trying being me again. Someday, maybe I will.
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self.offmychest
|
Where can you go where you don’t have to be social, but are physically around other people (i.e. a gym)? [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
|
Opening up Warning: Wall of text ahead. To anyone who reads this in it's entirety, thank you.
I'm not sure where to post this, but I figure this sub may be the best in terms of people who can relate. Not sure where to start here, but to get my thoughts out there and in some sort of medium seems like a positive to me.
I'm 22 years old. I'm in my last (hopefully) 2, but possibly 3, semesters of college. I recently transferred to a four year university three hours from my home town, in order to finish as fast as possible. That is where I stand now. I have a job coaching children, approximately 12 hours a week.
I've suffered from mental illness for years. I didn't recognize it until November of last year, but I have. Depression and anxiety run rampant in my family, and I certainly am not immune to these mental afflictions. I always carried the signs, but I never read into what they truly showed.
Things set me off. They do. I realize this, and I've recently come to realize it isn't the individual events that cause me such grief, but rather my depression and inability to handle these difficulties. Everyone goes through tough times; life happens. It's when your mental health can't handle itself that those problems cause the underlying factors to manifest themselves with more difficulty. In the last few years, my father got dementia, my mother started slowly losing her mind (although bless her heart for taking care of my dad and staying strong), and I've gone through a few relationships. One of those ending recently forced me to finally, actually, really take care of myself.
I recognized how bad my mental struggle was back in November. It was the first time I went an extended period of time barely able to sleep, having no appetite, and having zero motivation to get out of bed in the morning. Things came back together, some of the individual factors bothering me were resolved, and I put off actually taking care of the underlying issues. I saw a doctor, spoke candidly to a few friends' parents who were mental health specialists, and then I set everything aside to focus on family, school, and work. Not the smartest move, but without access to a time machine, none of that matters.
With myself returning to that same mental state where just getting out of bed is a struggle against myself, I've decided it's time to fight this. I made an appointment to see a doctor, I'm going to individual psychiatric counseling clinic provided by my school, and more importantly I'm recognizing and fighting the things that aren't normal in my mind. It's not just chemical imbalances, it's a fractured way of life. But many of you know that.
I don't know that I'm going to, or even can, win this fight. I watched my dad lose the fight over nearly two decades of my life. I've lost so much due to the struggles I face, and I am bracing myself to lose more. I love others more than I love myself, and that in itself is such a huge issue.
I lied for years, borderline pathologically, in order to relate to people better, get along better, be liked better. Another sign of my weak self-esteem I realize, and that is caused in part by such powerful anxiety and depression. I faced that, fought it, and still wake up in the morning face to face with all of my problems. Telling the truth, being honest with others and myself, opening up, these are steps towards healing, I believe. The road ahead is fucking difficult, and I doubt it will get any easier; odds are it will only get harder from here. But to finally take the road towards healing, these are the first steps.
To anyone reading this, looking for advice, looking for something relatable, I hope this find you and helps you. We've all lost so much at the hands of mental illness. But the hardest road to take, the one that will take you down to your knees and beat you there and leave you for dead, is the one that will ultimately lead to treatment. It may not ever end; I know people who struggled their entire lives. But it is to simplistic and too short sighted to ignore what must be done, what difficulties must be faced.
I'm equal parts excited and terrified to get professional help and face these demons. I'm sure many of you can relate. But to those of you who are considering finding help, or are starting to realize your own struggles, I want you to know two things. First and foremost, it's fucking hard. The hardest thing in life, truth be told. The second, is that it's not only necessary, but it's worth it. It's so cliche, but you have to reach rock bottom in order to escape the clutches of mental illness. Just know that the person you will be in the future will be ready for anything, if you can make it through this. And you can, I know we all can. I just know it will never be easy.
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self.depression
|
My aunt yells at me every time and fat shames me I am 14, my aunt's 40. She sees me as a lazy fat piece of shit but in reality i am depressed and suffering from social anxiety and have no friends at school. She would yell at me for the small mistakes i make, and my parents dont care. I talked to them about this and they said "she's just like that" but i feel like its not normal behaviour at all. She's also really moody and later she's mad at me, takes out her bad mood at me and later on she is nice and kind at me. Also she forces me to exercise with her dumbell and if i dont she will make fun of me and call me names. Its making me less confident about my body and makes my depression worse too. Everytime she does this i cant help but feel like a fat loser. Because of this i cant wait to be an adult and move out on my own. My plan is to move in Europe (i live in the Philippines)
Please give me advice guys. I would very much appreciate it.
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self.depression
|
My best friend is abusing her anxiety meds I've been friends with her for over three years, and she's a sweet girl. She has her issues with anxiety, such as severe irritability, stress, frequent anxiety attacks, etc. She was prescribed Celexa about a year ago, and she loved it, but she always said she wanted more. She recently started dating this toxic guy who I can't stand, and he has gotten her into smoking weed on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day. I just found out she smoked around her 2 year old a couple of weeks ago, which I'm extremely disappointed by. For the past month or so, she's been asking me to give her a few of my Xanax pills, and I always say no, since I actually use them for my attacks (which I haven't needed to use since August, so yay!). She went to the doctor yesterday and requested them, and he prescribed her 15 .25mg pills, and she texted me complaining that .25mg isn't going to be enough for her, that it's basically nothing.
I'm really worried that she's obsessed with getting high. I know anxiety sucks, but I also know it's important to just power through it as much as you can unless it's a serious attack. Trying to numb yourself constantly isn't doing anything positive for you. I've tried to tell her this and she thinks I'm just being dramatic. I've considered just cutting off my friendship with her, as well, but what if her life spirals out of control once I'm gone? I feel like a part of me would always feel guilty that I didn't try to do something more to help her.
Any advice?
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self.Anxiety
|
The confrontation / avoidance dilemma Experts say avoidance behaviour only reinforces the perceived threat in the mind. However, as we all know confronting a fear or anxiety inducing situation is also a major trigger. I've found that as time has gone on I've become more and more isolated from society, be that work mates, fellow students and now housemates.
In my mind confronting, although it brings things to a head will also trigger a cascade of anxiety attacks and symptoms as other people and situations are unpredictable and there is no likely outcome. Especially dealing with unhinged people. This usually results in a day or so recovering once the adrenaline crash happens leaving me feel completely drained but still on edge and prone to further worse anxiety attacks. It just isn't worth it, courage only gets you so far with this disorder. Of course this isn't always so sometimes the end result can be beneficial especially if a compromise is reached but the price paid over the next day or so makes it less than appealing.
Often I think the anxiety is a result of our loss of control over something. Control gives comfort as it means things can be predicted thus reduces the fear of unknown events occurring and therefore the reduction in perceived threats. Over time this sort of behaviour and attitude has led to me becoming more and more reclused and to develop OCD traits, or for me more like OD, cyclical persistent thoughts and ritualistic behaviours. Personally I like to stick a finger up to the C in OCD by having as loose routine as possible and to an extent avoiding any formal structured routine. Obviously some routines are unavoidable and positive like going to a job or studies.
Tl;dr confronting fears and sources of anxiety sometimes only makes things worse so isolation is sometimes a healthier option.
Relinquishing control over things can bring comfort as then you don't become anxious over these aspects changing as you are no longer hyper vigilant about them in the first place.
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self.Anxiety
|
Latuda Withdrawals/Akathisia Hi All,
I was put on Latuda for about 3 weeks (1 at 10mg, 2 at 20mg) as my previous stabiliser wasn't doing much for me. I assumed my worsening depression/anxiety were withdrawals but by week 3 I ended with akathisia that has really fucked me up.
Pdoc took me off it immediately and prescribed me 0.25mg Xanax to take as needed (which I had been taking one or two of intermittently to cope with the transition) It's been 12 days since my last Latuda dose but I'm still having major depression/panic/crying fits and I'm concerned that the longer I take the Xanax the more reliant I'm going to become on it. I'm already taking between 1.25-2mg/day and while I'm having more frequent periods of stability, it's sometimes taking more Xanax to get there and boy do I come crashing down hard once that 5 hour mark passes.
Has anyone had similar experiences coming off Latuda? I'd think that with only 3 weeks on I'd be in the clear by now, but I've heard some horror stories and I'm also terrified of replacing one set of symptoms with another the longer I stay on Xanax.
Thanks.
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self.bipolar
|
Couldn't calm down today. Anxiety = hopelessness becoming reality. Set a suicide date. [removed]
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self.Anxiety
|
Just got semi-rejected from my top grad school :( [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
|
The one person that kept me together left me [deleted]
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self.depression
|
I Should be Happy but my Anxiety still hurts me, is this a mental health issue at this point? Hey there, I've recently been going through a REALLY rough time in my life as of late, and for the past half year I've been struggling with intense anxiety. It sucks more so that I perceive things to be worse than they objectively are due to my anxiety, and made dealing with these problems all the more worse. However, I have recently hit a HUGE milestone in my life, and I have essentially gotten closure with the biggest issues in my life. I have every reason to be happy, and for a little bit I was, but my anxiety is still here. I had a deep conversation with a friend recently, and the conversation on its own was able to give me closure with many things hurting me. This conversation was exactly what I needed, but I keep thinking "I should've also said this!" or "Why didn't I say this?" and "How did I forget to say this too!". The conversation was amazing and I had communicated everything I really needed to, but my anxiety is still making me second guess it with really incidental things. No matter what I do, this crippling anxiety is still preventing me from being really happy.
Is this a disorder at this point? I feel as if my brain is just hard wired with this frame of thinking. I had considered looking into medication before, because this anxiety seriously prevents me from functioning efficiently throughout my day and I struggled with dealing with it, I figured that once I had solved my own problems (which I have) that it would go away. Now that I have every reason to be happy, it's hard to feel this way consistently with all this anxiety eating away at me. Is this something I can work through mentally? Or should I look into medication?
I also saw a comment browsing this subreddit that I think I can relate to pretty damn hard.
"
[–]cyu 3 points 5 hours ago
I suppose some might say you've just defined an anxiety diagnosis - now that you mention it, it seems similar to the old saying "if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail" - our thoughts get trained to flow down certain paths, and the more we do them, the deeper and wider these mental ruts, and the more naturally all our thoughts start flowing down those familiar pathways. The first time you pick up a pencil in your right hand is awkward - the millionth time you barely think about it. I suppose if you've trained yourself to look for danger in every situation, you'll go into every situation and immediately spot a laundry list of potential risks - not always a bad thing of course - I suppose it's your subsequent reaction to your observations that determine whether it affects your life in a positive way or not."
Thank you very much for your time, I truly appreciate it.
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self.Anxiety
|
I dont see the point in living. I feel like no one likes me, I just want to die. I say that a lot but no one notices..or just doesn't care. Everything is falling apart, I just don't feel anything. Everyone thinks I'm so happy, imagine if they had an assembly at school tomorrow saying I had killed myself? Nothing would change, no one would care. I'm scared to talk to someone, they would think I'm just saying it. I want to just be done with it, there's no point. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know who my real friends are, I don't know what I want in live anymore. I feel so lonely, I'm in my room crying my eyes out..I'm sure they can hear me, they just choose to ignore me. My silence is treated like rudeness. I am sick of life, no one would care. People would be happy, one less annoying, useless person in the world. I know I'm only 15 but there is no point..just get it over and done with you know. I have no parents, or family apart from my disabled brothers and , my uncle who hates me, my dog got rehomed, someone I consider to be a grandfather has terminal cancer and I'm sure he's wife isn't far behind,people at school hate me, the one place I felt like I was happy is changing and my "friend" is becoming close with everyone there and spreading rumours. I just want to die. I'm so tired, I just want to leave this earth for good.
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self.SuicideWatch
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2018 It feels like 2018 will be a make or break year for me.
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self.depression
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Is it anxiety and how its ruining me Here's my story. One year and a half ago I got a girlfriend. Everything was perfect at first. But i felt and still feel like I have to always do what she wants so she can be happy. We started having a little arguments that would make me feel like I am in a black hole, in a vacuum. When that started happening she stopped talking to me and I felt like I've lost my whole energy. I felt like I don't have energy to move or live. 1 or 2 months after that I started feeling dizzy after every argument we had. I started feeling more like I have to do things for her so she can be happy. I was feeling drained, like I was in black hole. I started having physical symptoms like cold feet, tingling, nervousness, muscul twitching, heart palpitations. I started feeling like I was sick so I started visiting doctors but they all said my health is fine. So the fears that I was sick from a terrible disease attacked me in full force. For 3-4 months I was obsessed by the fears that I am sick. I had symptoms coming and going. Most of the days and most of the time I felt like:
- I didn't have energy
- what I saw with my eyes was like a camera with no optical stabilization
- like I wasn't myself when I was talking - like I was both talking and hearing myself from the outside
I was so scared that I was sick those months even though I've read about anxiety. In that time I felt so nervous and everything started to get me out of control. Every little thing in my girlfriend made me nervous and stressed and like I was in a black hole. We started having arguments almost every day. I started feeling like I want to stay home more. I felt like I wasn't seeing my mom and my family at all. I felt so sad. So step by step a new fear appeared and totally overtook my fear I was sick - it was the fear that one day I'll have to leave my mom and family and start living with my girlfriend. This fear obsessed me and is still obsessing me today. I really love my mom and family and I don't want to leave them. I've promised to my mom few years ago that I'll save us from my drinking dad who was really bad with us. I don't want to break that promise. I want to live happily with my mom and not leave her. I am feeling so scared that I'll have to when my girlfriend asks me for it. I feel like I don't have control over my life and that I can't take decisions that are good for me because I don't want to hurt my girlfriend. I feel powerless and don't know what to do. This fear makes me feel dizzy and most of the time I have zero energy, my feet are cold and tingling and I can never make them warm, not even with socks. I can barely work these days. The fears attack me most of the time and I can barely think of anything else. This caused further damage on our relationship because i started feeling like I can't keep doing things that only she wants to do. Now I feel like I have to do only things that I want. That makes her feel really sad and that's also killing me.
These feelings worsened in the winter so I thought I had vitamin d deficiency. But it's spring now and the problem stays. I've read a lot about magnesium deficiency. Can this be magnesium deficiency? I am shaking and my body hurts as I am writing this. Please, help
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self.Anxiety
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My doc wants to take me off a med that seems to be working? I am on 3 meds--lamictal, abilify, and adderall. This all is working really well for me. I'm not very inclined to change it up, since it all has made me pretty stable and productive. She just suggested that next time i have a school break (summer), I should go off abilify. Any idea why she would suggested that if I'm stable on it?
I'm just concerned, because there are a few times I've stopped taking it for a week or so, and during those times I would cry at random things and act a little wacky. So I'm not really convinced that things will be fine without it. Should I say that to her, or should I just do as she says and ser if it happens to work out okay?
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self.bipolar
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Has anyone lost all motivation and feel like their brain/body has just given up on them...I really don't know what's wrong with me or what to do...I feel like I have lost myself? I dont know what's going on, I can't find it in myself to do anything. I half ass my school work (I am a straight A double major normally), I am exhausted all the time, I can't eat really, I barely sleep (so you'd think I'd be doing all my work but no), my grades have fallen due to missing class, though missing was due to being sick over and over again, but I am late to most if not all of them too which is my own fault, and crazy as having all these all-nighters, there is no reason for me to be late.
I just have no motivation to do any of the work and it sucks because I love my majors and they are arts-based so you can't really procrastinate with the projects. Even now I have papers and other things due in the next couple days but here I am not doing them.
I have struggled with depression and insomnia since I was a child and have always procrastinated but not like this. I used to pull all-nighters in the past but I spent most of the time doing my work and it was good quality. I am also adhd and prescribed medication for it (highest dose/instant release/twice a day) but it doesn't even work. I have never been so unhealthy in my life, even lost 10 lbs in a month on accident, and my friendships are shitty, romantic life is shitty, and I keep sleeping around to rebound from that. Idk what to do...It's like I've given up but dont know how to make myself do my work, my brain is just dazed/fuzzy so I barely pay attention when I do do it. I feel like I am always having to make excuses to others and it's clear they dont care or are over it.
I keep getting slammed with things be it illness, or drama I didnt even start, getting shit on, just all around bad luck for a long time so I've been slowly spiraling down for 2 years but functioning for awhile but stopped being able to at the beginning of summer and have just gotten worse.
Anyone else gone through this or have any insight?
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self.depression
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I feel trapped and helpless. Like I’m drowning and I can’t do anything to change my life.. To provide you with some background, Ive struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts and tendencies since I was 13. I have a tendency to be fine one moment and awful the next. Some days I just wake up and it’s like I can’t feel joy anymore. Sometimes these awful bouts of feelings go away somewhat quickly, and sometimes it can take weeks to come out of it.
The beginning of my most recent downward slope started around April of this year, when I found out that I wouldn’t be able to attend my dream college in the fall. I had nearly everything worked out. I had been accepted, had financial aid, has excellent grades, and had started to make plans for the cross country move I would have to make to attend. My grandmother, who has always been a big financial support to my family, said that she would do whatever she could to help me get into college. There was an understanding between us that she would provide whatever money she could, no matter what. She’d made this offer several times before and was happy to do it. But at the very last second, she backed out. The school needed a $525 payment to cover registration fees, boarding reservations, etc. my family has been fairly poor all my life, so they couldn’t contribute. I begged my grandma, literally pleaded, to provide this money and she refused. She claimed that moving across the country to attend school was a stupid idea and that it was pointless, despite encouraging me to do so all my life. It wasn’t for lack of funds, that I know for certain. She just didn’t feel like loaning me the money. So, I had no option. I had to decline my admission. And keep in mind, I didn’t just give up. I spent hours on the phone with dozens of employees at the college asking if there was any way I could use financial aid to cover it. I asked family, friends, anyone who could help. Everyone said no. I lost my dream right then and there.
But through all of that, I tried to remain optimistic. I told myself that taking a semester or even a year off wouldn’t be so bad, and that it may actually be a great choice for me. So I tried to convince myself that’s what I wanted. I tried to make peace with it, and I did. Until fall, when I saw each and every one of my friends move on with their lives and follow their dreams. Never once did I think I of all people was going to be the one left behind. I was more alone than ever and had a front row seat to my friends complaining about having to start college when it’s the only real thing I wanted.
I worked and spent time with some friends who opted for community college to keep myself sane. Though, being forced to stay in an abusive household after dreaming of escaping since the age of 6 hurt more than I can say. I keep telling myself that everything is going to be okay. I keep telling myself that I’ll find a way out of the rut that I’m stuck in. I keep telling myself that once I start classes at community college in January I’ll get my life back on track and I’ll find myself again. But they just feel like lies. I feel like I lost myself.. completely. I don’t speak to my grandmother anymore, even though she was the only person in my entire family whom I was close to. Every time I look at her I see the happy pictures of my friends living the lives I should have. I remember all the nights I cried myself to sleep because there was no way away from my parents now, at least not one I could afford. I hate that I hate her. But I do.
I only have one true friend now. I recently got a job, a dream job of mine actually. But over the past few days those things seem to matter less and less. I’m so angry all the time. I’m so bitter when I want to be happy. I hate the direction my life has gone. And I feel powerless to fix any of it.
I know that all of what I’m saying is going to sound incredibly petty, but please know I don’t mean it to be. I just need some guidance here. Maybe someone who can just help me through this. I don’t know..
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self.depression
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Any other rapid cyclers? What's your experience like? How quickly do you shift?
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self.bipolar
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Anybody meditate on here? If so what kind? I am starting to meditate again and would like to know if anybody else on here finds it helpful. What kind of meditation do you do?
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self.bipolar
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Having an anxiety attack. It would be nice if someone could talk to me for a while. [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
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Fuck the Holidays I hate this time of year.
I don't have many friends, I'm hundreds of miles from my family, and all the *stupid* little things that I should be able to *just get over* I can't.
There is nothing wrong, and yet everything is wrong, and I just know it would be easier for everyone if I just went to sleep and never woke up.
Maybe tonight will be their lucky day.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Ambien: Have you ever taken it? Pros/cons? Any weird reactions? [deleted]
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self.bipolar
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My head is killing me (Wellbutrin/Buproprion) My head is killing me from the Wellbutrin that I just started on about a week ago. I am only taking 150mg, 1 tablet every morning. For anyone on Wellbutrin/Bupropion, does the pounding ever stop? I can handle the nausea and the lack of appetite and whatever else comes with it, but the headaches are killing me.
EDIT: This is my first day in about 3 days that I don't have a headache. Knock on wood.
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self.bipolar
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The deadline to accept or reject my job offer was 2 days ago, and I didn't respond at all. They left a voicemail and I'm too scared to open it.
I know it's such a cowardly way to deal with this. I have so many decisions to make about the future and I can't. I actually liked this company but a part of me doesn't like the reasons I wanted the jobs, or the reasons I wasn't sure about accepting it.
I just want to pause time and think about this even though I've already asked them for so many extensions on this.
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self.offmychest
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A little hypo, furious about Work I’m a little hypo so I need to control my anger. I have been pissed off that I’ve not been given a team at work. I was seriously pissed that an asshole got a promotion and a huge team. I am furious to hear that they gave him the governance responsibility and I’m not included.
Tomorrow I have a meeting scheduled with my boss to discuss the new org structure. I am more than furious about how I’m being treated and how under appreciated I am. I know I need to go into that meeting with my anger controlled. Tonight I’m going to create my talking points.
At least I updated my resume, put it on indeed, and updated my LinkedIn.
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self.bipolar
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What do you do after school or work? I used to be really depressed and did nothing all days but I turned things around and feel a lot better now that I got into the school I wanted. I ace the tests, I've started working out, I try to dress better and groom. I stay social at school and meet friends in the weekends
My problem is in a normal weekday when I get home after cooking and cleaning the apartment, I just feel empty. I feel like there's nothing to do. I could sit by the TV or play some video games but things like that seem meaningless. I could use some tips on how to spend my free time.
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self.depression
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how to turn down sensitivity there are certain days (like today) where im wayy too sensitive to things like light, a/c noises, and temperature. i actually had to take off my clothes because the fibers were driving me insane (on usual days this is not an issue)
the headaches are getting worse
ive read about hsp but idk.... this seems directly tied to anxiety. i just need things to be quiet/less nauseating. if uve experienced this, how do you manage?
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self.Anxiety
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Questions About Paxil Hi! I️ was wondering if I️ could get some input/advice/etc. regarding anxiety medication, specifically Paxil. I’ve been having anxiety issues for a while now and finally went to see my doctor about it the other day, where she prescribed me a low dose of Paxil daily. I’ve never really been one to take long-term prescription medicine, but I️ am excited about the prospect of it making my anxiety more manageable.
I️ do have to admit I’m a little worried about the medication making me drowsy or different in some way. It’s not a big dose by any means, but I’m still a little scared of it...I️ don’t know, changing me somehow, I️ guess? Without me really noticing? Which is ridiculous, because that’s sort of the point.
Anyways, if anyone has the time and would be willing to share their experiences or advice about going onto anxiety medication, I️ would be super grateful to hear it. Were you worried about it, or did you suffer any bad side-effects? Did you notice the difference pretty clearly after taking the medication for a while? Do you take them at night or in the morning?
Anything like that is appreciated!
TL;DR: Advice/experiences taking Paxil for anxiety?
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self.Anxiety
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such a catch 22 I have to *do* things to feel better, but I don't feel well enough to drum up the energy to *do* them.
My whole life is an exercise in saying 'I should be doing... x/y/z...but nope'.
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self.depression
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my brother told me everything gives me anxiety I went out to go eat with my siblings and we were talking about movies. I mentioned how this one movie gave me anxiety when my brother cut me off and said "everything gives you anxiety".
I shut down completely and kept drinking my water as an attempt to keep my panic attack from bubbling up. I lost my appetite and just drank so many damn glasses of water at the table. I dont even know what i'm saying now. It really hurt when he said that to me. I just feel so hopeless of everything right now. it doesn't feel like i'm getting better.
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self.Anxiety
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Wanna try reaching out to mother one more time, before I go. Yes, I have been on reddit for over 2 yrs, crying about depression and anxiety. I never tell anyone, but I want to go. I want to ask my mother if I can get therapy or some type of intervention, because I think I have just a wk left. My mind is crumbling, so much panic attacks during school. It is unhealthy, and I think I am ready to achieve peace now.🌈
Either today or tomorrow I should come clean about my depression. I am so sorry to everyone I ever irritated or slighted. My fam does not understand mental health, and my sibilings may use my therapy and possible anti depressents as humor. I think I have severe anxiety, so I do not have time for my mother invading my privacy, fearing I am a "ticking time bomb". I have tried, but words do not help me again.
We have another social situation very soon, and I am ready to feed into my anxiety and pass away.
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self.depression
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Can depression cause extreme weight loss in a short period of time? [deleted]
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self.depression
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Is anyone up. I need to talk right now (5:30 am est) I just woke up. I’ve been very suicidal. Very depressed. My life is completely destroyed. I have disassociative identity disorder and something is really wrong. I’m me right now. Normal me but I’m really scared. Irrationally scared. I don’t know if it’s just today. If it is that it’s irrational. If it’s overall about life then it makes sense.
I just don’t understand this feeling. I’m used to depression and being suicidal but I’m so scared I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what I’ll do if I keep feeling like this. I don’t know if I’ll get suicidal or aggressive ora depressed.
I’m sick of texting the suicide hotline. They practically know me by name after yesterday and I’m not suicidal right now anyway.
Help? Please.
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self.depression
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Ever Feel Like You're Just Drifting Through Weeks at a Time?
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self.depression
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Does Cannabis make you feel Depressed / Manic the day after? I smoke daily (for the most part), once a day at night. Recently I have been feeling depressed, fidgety, anxious and antsy the next day. Nothing manic really. Is this most likely caused by the weed? I'm trying to figure out where this is coming from. I haven't changed meds at all anytime recently. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
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self.bipolar
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I hate winter. Winter worsens my depression and anxiety. I associate it was darkness, anxiety, sadness, loneliness,etc due to the past. I used to love winter but in the more recent years I hate it. I hate the thought of being stuck at home. I hate how my brain fucking depresses me and stresses me out(because I have nothing to do). I really don't like this season. I don't have a job, and for weeks I will be stuck.
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self.depression
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I don’t even want to kill myself with your tie. [deleted]
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self.depression
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Noticing when someone just doesn´t care about what you are saying [deleted]
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self.depression
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I’m getting anxious to the point I feel ill As above, I get really anxious a lot, especially at work. It’s getting to the point where I’m feeling sick I’m that anxious, I’ve been to the doctors about it, and they want to put me on medication to help.
Just wanted someone’s opinion from here, wouldn’t be good to go on medication, or is their a way I can help my anxiety while avoiding medication?
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self.Anxiety
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TIL Halsey Has Bipolar Disorder I didn't think I could love her anymore. I love her music and how ethereal it sounds. It's always given me chills, and I've always sort of identified with it in a way.
Now, I'm listening to all of her albums back to back and reading the lyrics. It's all very beautiful and I love her so much. I'm actually really emotional about all of this and crying.
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self.bipolar
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how do you tell your other half that you constantly think about killing yourself on a daily basis? like I don't want to die anymore at this moment in time but I just think about it a lot it's like its a comfort to know that if I couldn't cope with life I have a way out, it's like the way I feel about self-harming I don't anymore but I've just replaced it with tattoos when I feel that way off to the tattooist I go..
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self.depression
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Share how you overcome depression! There are days where we tend to feel depressed, lost, and etc. But what are the things that we could do to avoid all this feelings? Feeling of hopelessness and that we have reached the bottom. Theres nothing to look forward to anymore, nothing seems to be interesting, and things just seem dull. If you have fought a battle with depression and won, feel free to share your experience!
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self.depression
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Fiance of 5 years broke up with me i can't continue living he broke up with me because i argues a lot i didn't mean any of my arguments, i didn't mean to drive him away! my god i miss him so much its been 3 weeks he has not talked to me he says i have been driving him away with my arguments, depression and anxiety.... i told him how upset i was that he felt no love for me anymore and he considered us just friends now and that i was feeling suicidal and he say "its not all about you cry me a river" he never use to be this nasty t'words me!!!!! and when he said that i just got so mad i told him not to contact me anymore....and he didn't....i haven't gotten 1 message since..... he usually would use a different number and contact me and tell me how sorry he was but he just doesn't care anymore!!!! he never has left me hanging like this and recently i've gotten so bad that i dream about him every night! i have been for 4 nights in a row every time i close my eyes! i dream that we are talking and hugging and that we are happy...but then i wake up...i don't leave my bed i feel disgusting and i don't go out in public the fear of seeing him with someone else is so unbearable that i cant think about it or ill blow my brains out i have to quickly stop those thoughts...so going out in public is unbearable.....I've lost all interest in everything, hell I've forgotten what i like anymore. each day is hell its a struggle its a fight for survival, i know i could go down the basement and end it all and i wouldn't have a fear in the world i have attempted suicide before. but what stops me is "what if he text you, what if he calls you and analogizes?" my mother said not to worry that he wall call and i pray every night (something i use to not do) just hoping and praying that hell come back to me. The pain it hurts!!!! i cant continue living like this!!!!! my anxiety and depression make it so hard already I've stopped taking my medication for no good reason... Living is torture every waking moment of everyday is hell!!
i get a little hope when someone says he'll come back to you it gives me a little strength but hope runs out.....
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self.SuicideWatch
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Anxiety-related pain I feel pain in my head neck back when i am anxious. And i also mouth breath because i feel that my nose is clogged. Are all these anxiety symptoms?
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self.Anxiety
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Everything is so $ucked up in the World today Everything is so fucked up in the world today. Every single day its a new terrorist attack or a new sexual harassment accusation. Times have changed so much and it is disheartening to say the least. World hunger, racism, poverty, the left and right political parties, climate change.. the list goes on and they all make me sad..
The world has changed so much it is scary. I pray for all humanity and peace but I don't think my Higher Power can even change what the world has come to. Just venting and thinking..
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self.offmychest
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"Morning pages", a writing exercise that might help some of you [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
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Is there a point anymore? I wish I was a kid again, but I can't be. My whole life, I've been shit on by every teacher hell nearly every adult in my life and now that I've become one I know why everyone is so fucking bitter and I can't blame them. You wake up, you go to work, come home sleep and do it again. Every fucking day monotonous menial tasks everyday. No self choice in the matter, if you don't work your a shitty human, if your not happy about working your a shitty worker. I'm fucking sick of it. It's all too much. I cut myself today to do the cliché called "feeling" all I felt was skin split and blood. Nothing past my bodily reaction, no pain, no relief. At this rate I don't even know if I'm worth the lead it would take to end my life. But I dream about it, I wish for it. I need it. Somedays I think it's not so bad, laugh a couple of times maybe but to know that inevitably I feel at home in my head with the suicidal thoughts. I feel as if my only options are to either A: quit being a fucking bitch about it and do it. Or. B:live long enough for world war 3 to die with a purpose or a reason. Since I was in grade school I've wanted to be apart of something feel involved and for me that first thoughts been the military but since I'm a depressed piece of shit and of my own mistakes tried to get help. This bullshit has robbed me of everything I ever wanted to be. It's been so long, I'm ready.
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self.SuicideWatch
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I am terrible when it comes to other people. [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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thought i was better but now can't stop weeping Today I had high hopes, and I have plans to go out at night. In fact, two conflicting plans that the bad road conditions make impossible to do both.
Instead of making a decision and disappointing anybody, I'm just sitting here feeling helpless about every stupid thing I've ever done, instead of just making a decision. It's one of those "I want to check out of reality" days.
I slept a LOT today and got nothing done. Why does the struggle seem so endless? Where is my good fairy of hypomania, granting me the will to be the person people like the most (until it gets crazy)?
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self.bipolar
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My parents won’t leave me alone and I have no friends to talk to at the moment [deleted]
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self.depression
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I'm scared I'm gonna have depression forever I can't imagine years more of this...
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self.depression
|
What should I do now? I have been sitting in my room for 2 weeks drinking alcohol non stop... after I got into a fight at work.. pretty much after getting bullied for a month i called someone out and got fired, but the other person got rewarded for bad behavior. If you want more insight on this ask me in the text I guess.
But long story short.. Ive had anxiety or w/e it is for my entire life and im 25 now and can't hold a job without wanting to freak out etc.. ive been in my room for the past 2 weeks drinking and playing video games and I just swang on one of my roomates who i t hink has alteriour motives to harm me tbh. He hardly comes home, but when he does, he always eats food and never provides etc.. anyways i cant move my fucking left hand, probably a boxer fracture..
But Im thinking I should go on SSRI.
I used to get into trouble when I was a teen and I live with 3 roomates now, 2 have been in prison for 2 or more years for very bad shit.. I only went to juvy for violents (fighting other kids) maybe 8 years ago.. but these guys now are ahead of me.. i havent been in trouble for over 8 years, but these guygs just got out of jail and for the past 2 years have been doing roofing/gutters/concrete w/e etc, and make almost 50k a year each, meanwhile i cant even keep a factory job without thinking ppl are out to get me or to harm me or judge me etc..
ssri time? I could easily go to prison like they did, but for me it isnt because of drugs, or other issues, its probably mental tbh..
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
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self.Anxiety
|
A loser at high school. I've never wanted to write about me this way.
People always think that I have a dream life at high school. Being a president of a prestige club, earning high position in every class, being tough, staying calm, happy, funny all the time. But frankly, I deeply feel lost. I don't have many friends to trust. I'm an introvert. I seem out going, yeah I have a lot of quantaince, and some close friends, but not too close, i dont know if I was not open enough.
Problem is myself, I know it. I was born weird, with a weird appearance, my hobbies are weird (it's not too weird on Reddit, fortunately I found it). I was bullied when I was 9 then 14, 15. Just because my look and my hobbies (yeah, it was all about books, Harry Potter, Dan Brown and something else, ppl called me nerd, and they smirked at me as I bring those heavy books along to school to read in break time, and more important thing is my look, a mere plump girl with short, curly, fuzzy hair famous for giving ridiculously tasteless ideas), then I realized I need to change and adapt. I dont know if I change correctly. I got tougher. But stay weird, I dont want to make myself girly, softer or give up on my hobbies. High school was a place to prove myself. I did it.
But I'm still a loser. I got friends but I've never showed my heart. I've never been invited to any of their meeting, we (all members in my class) went for a picnic, some of them had a secrect party, my friends got invited, I was not. I was arranged in the same room with our teacher, no one want me. The girl groups in my class, well, it hurts to say, one dont hate me, but they dont consider me as a friend, just classmate, the other, they hate me, this is not anyting misunderstood, some ppl that I have close relationship told me. Because of some situpid position at school.
I told myself that it need to be accepted.
But today, I experience that lost feeling again, the feeling of a loser. They hang out after our graduation a long time. And I got no invitation.
And I even cant tell this with my close friends, I somehow think thay cant understand, I need understanding and comfort right now. I'm lost.
Bursting in tears may make me better.
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self.offmychest
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Will it Ever Get better? Hey Everyone. I've been depressed for all my adult life. I've always wanted to get a girlfriend, nut I'm too shy and scared to approach women. I want somebody that I can talk o, share my feelings with, and look out for me. I feel that women only like jerks and never give nice guys a chance. I'm a 23 year old virgin and I don't see any point of going on anymore... Any advice, criticism, and especially comments are appreciated.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Connecting with different media or music when in different moods I realized, while talking to my husband about why my music preference changes dramatically and very quickly sometimes - it's based on what mood I'm in.
Hypo or just plain mania, I keep playing usually one song or at least one artist over and over. Upbeat but depressing lyrics. I love depressing lyrics.
Stable me is just regular what's on the radio or random assortment of songs I like. Whatever rabbit hole I end up in on YouTube.
Depressed me likes slow, depressing alternative. Usually same artist but not necessarily the same song. Things about depression on YouTube that I find so extremely fitting. Stable me goes back and doesn't feel that deep connection with the videos.
Anyone else here who has recognized this is their own life? I'm interested.
E: redundancy
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self.bipolar
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Does anyone feel like doing anything is a big hassle so you end up doing nothing at all. [deleted]
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self.depression
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Changing Bipolar med cocktail (also ADHD) My story is way too long to waste your time, but has anyone successfully switched from Lamictal to another mood stabilizer?
Also, my therapist told me one of her clients takes one medication that cares for both their mood and their adhd. Anyone have an idea what medication that might be?
I don't yet know if or how my meds may change, but I prefer to know as much as I can before going into anything. Thanks in advance.
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self.bipolar
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I was thinking about my dreams and goals I asked myself what are my dreams, what do I want and thought of it deeply. I tried to think of something more than just "make good money", "finish uni" etc. I found the answer eventually...
I want to feel loved. I know I am. I know my friends love me, I know that I'm my parents everything, but I just refuse to believe it. I constantly feel like I'm a 2nd option. With my ex gf I felt like she would leave me any day even though she said she never wanted to. When my friend is inviting me to a beer I feel like he's just bored and wants to spend time with anyone and I'm the only person available at the time. As I was thinking about it I felt tears coming to my eyes and heart to my throat.
I know I think too much of it. I know that I am loved. I just want to feel it, to believe it truly and appreciate it. I want to love myself...
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self.depression
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About to give up my Search for A great Depressed Friend Nobody wants a great friend. They all think they can do it alone. OK.
I already figured out the cure for depression, whihc is having a great friend or soulmate.
It takes two people who are in the same situation - depressed, hopeless. unmotivated, to get better.
anyways I am about to give my my search. People just dont want this kind of friendship, they prefer superficial friendships. They don't know their cause of depression. Anyways
that is it
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self.depression
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When you got stable, did your social skills return? just wondering if anyone after they got stable had their social skills and their caring about communication return to them. I use to be so much better socially. Now I just really don't care to communicate usually.
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self.bipolar
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What's even the point? I don't know where I'm going, I can't think of anything that would make me happy.
Weekend is halfway over and I think about each day where I do absolutely nothing. Then I think about what I want to do next week or what I want to strive for and I realize I can't say what would make me happy. No hobbies interest me and I'm stuck with a job that requires me to work 12 hours a day, 5 days a week.
I hate my job but I can't leave it because it pays well and covers my mortgage; don't even know why we bought a house in the first place because now I'm definitely locked down to this place.
How do you guys look at the future and think positively?
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self.bipolar
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Purging social media Does anyone else go through stuff like facebook, steam, or other social media and just purge it. Posts, photos, names, anything that stands out. I used to do that with facebook and I ended up with just a couple friends before I deleted it completely. Now I've deleted everything from Steam spare two people I cannot delete (yet). I used to have a small network in a videogame, purged that too. Removed all friends and changed my ingame name.
Anyone else do this?
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self.depression
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Suicidal thoughts Been feeling down since I was 13 im now 18 and about to fail my 1st year in gymnasium for the 3rd time due to not attending class. I used to just vanish into my room with my computer and play games alone or with friends but my dad took the computer away a couple months ago since he felt thats why Im not in school.
Today was the first time I felt suicidal while crying in bed. I cant vanish from the real world ro go into my joyfuI bubble any more. I just dont see the point in life anymore.
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self.depression
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I am believed to be bipolar by my doctor and he has prescribed me a few different drugs with no real results. The depression is getting too much for me to handle... [deleted]
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self.depression
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Help I should probably start this off by saying that I suffer from severe depression, panic attacks, self harm and suicidal tendencies. I've been trying to get better lately, I've been trying to work and make some money to be able to be as self sufficient as possible, because being useless and always in my house makes me even more depressed. I had a very important job interview and I did pretty well. They were happy with the results, told me they were preparing my contract, and then out of nowhere they told me they weren't gonna get me. I really needed the money and most of all I really needed to do something, to be active. I feel like I'm gonna spiral down all over again. I can't afford a therapist and I know, I can just feel it in my guts, I'm gonna have a breakdown soon.
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self.SuicideWatch
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I hate myself for abandoning my stepdaughter! My marriage from the very beginning was not perfect but one thing that made it worth the trouble was how much I loved my stepdaughter. After things got really bad she was the only reason why I would come home, why I would sleep on the couch why I would put up with everything. Her smile melted all the sadness away.
Her father was worthless and I hated him with every fiber of my soul, for how he treated her, how he got her hopes up then let her down. He would go months without talking to her then only give her shit about something. But know I feel that I'm worse than him. After the divorce I tried to keep in touch with her but she slowly started responding less and less. Eventually she stopped responding and even blocked my phone #, she even blocked me on Facebook. Using someone else's account I saw some comments about how she trusted me and I let her down and how she will never trust me again.
It's been 8 years since the divorce I haven't spoken to her in 6 years. I wish her a happy birthday on her birthday every year. She has never responded nor do I expect her to. Everyday I think of her and how she must of been hurt after the divorce how she felt betrayed, abandoned and I can't help but hate myself for leaving. I believe that everything bad that happens to me I deserve for cause such pain in an innocent little girls life.
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self.offmychest
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How do you [Try to] Cope? Every single day feels like the world is closing in on me. Some days are better than others. There's a rare day that I feel like I am the King of the World and can accomplish anything. Then there are the days where... I just want to die. Or runaway, or never leave my room.
It gets so hard, it affects my job performance, my relationships, my ability to be a parent. Sometimes I can't even escape into my hobbies because it's all to much. I can barely explain to my SO whats wrong without freaking out. Sometimes I get angry with her and I can't help it and I never mean it.
For the past 6-8 months my job has been my biggest stressor. They've pushed me so far where I feel like I stop existing.
How do others, or we as people get so far? In a few years I'll be 30 and I just don't even understand what it is to be a person, I'm just a ball for freak out.
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self.Anxiety
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Im running out of medication and idk what to do Im running out of topamex on the 23 but i dont see my psychiatrist until the 30 and i cant get a refill on my prescription until then. I see my psychiatrist through my school and i submitted a request for a refill but they havent gotten back to me. what will happen, worse comes to worse, if I just dont take my meds for a week? Im just taking 50 mg of topamex and ive only been taking them for a few months so idk what will happen. what should i do>
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self.bipolar
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I can now say I have honestly tried it all, nothing has helped. [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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Anyone else struggle with Binge Eating? I’ve struggle with binge eating for a while, wish I could purge but that doesn’t work for me.
Before diagnosis, and medication, I would spend up to $250 or so a week on KFC/McDonalds/Burger King/Pizza Hutt etc.
Almost all of the time I’d not even be hungry, I’d still be bloated and uncomfortable from the last Big eat.
Often if tell my self it was one more time, this was it, I was going to quit all this shit food, but tonight, to celebrate, I’ll have McDonalds one more time, then the next night, well, I should have BK one more time... it took sometimes 7 days to get through them all, then I’d think, well, it’s been a week since I had McDonalds, I should have it one last time... rinse and repeat, hit 103kg, realise I was technically obese.
Since starting lamotrigine a month ago, It’s been way better, i hAvent had anything from any of the chain restaurants, had a close call with burger fuel last night, it was going to be a $40 feast, I’ve done it many times, but I managed to turn left instead of right at the end of my street and go spend $10 on fish and Chips instead, still a lot of food, but $30 and probably 500 calories less.
Anyway, can anyone offer any advice to help? I’m still eating when not hungry sometimes, my weight went down to nearly 95kg in the first 3 weeks of treatment, now I’m almost back at 99.
Would bumping lamotrigine above 100mg/day help? I’m aloud up to 150/day without reconsulting.
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self.bipolar
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DAE have late night anxiety, the kind when you start being paranoid and afraid of everything? I've been losing a lot of sleep lately because of this. It had acgually started to get better in the past few days but today it feels the worst its ever been, I can't stop seeing shadows and strange lights in the diatance, my feet feel abnormally hot even though it's almost summer (so its normal).
And you know those almost dreams when you're falling asleep and your mind starts making bizarre things up (I MEAN bizarre, like actual dreams) but you **know** you're half awake and you can wake up.at any second?
I got one of those, it was a girl who'd disappeared at the mall and her little brother wanted to look for her, but I knew she had been kidnapped and killed and god knows what else. Fucking hell I barely woke up with a thought I hadn't consciously had "this is going to be me and my little sister in a few years (because i'm such an idiot that this is going to happen to *me* of all people)"
What do you guys do to make it all better? I look for psychological tricks online but it can only do so much. And now I've got to wake up in 5 hours instead of 7, hope that doesn't become 3 now.
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self.Anxiety
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Self assessment I am 34 years old and have spent nearly the entirety of the last fifteen years trying to accept that I am worthless and did not deserve to be happy. I put the full weight of my intellect and creativity towards this effort without ever questioning why I would do this, what I hoped to accomplish by being unhappy, who was served by my effort, where this idea came from, or when/if I would feel it time to work towards my own happiness as deliberately as I did the emptiness. This was a pattern of neglect, passive self-abuse. I’ve gone fifteen years without having a partner say she loves me out of appreciation and not manipulation, seven since I last said those words to another in a romantic context. I hold no qualifications that would provide some level of job security. I am only now considering my future in terms of what I want instead of what I will tolerate.
Having said all this, I do not, in this moment, feel depressed or overwhelmed by the path ahead. I feel I am in a position to live a life of substance. I no longer ask if I deserve to be happy, only if I want to be and if I am willing to work towards it. I was, and am, blessed to have people in my life who put care and intention into me as I do them. There is good in this world that I can contribute to and nourish.
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self.offmychest
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Is anyone else now suffering the consequences of wasting time for too many years? If you feel like it please share your story.
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self.depression
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What to do when you know the specific reason of why your depressed, but there's nothing you can do about it? 18 years old and have been depressed for almost 5 years now. My dream is to be a professional singer or actor. So many people tell me that the chances of making it is literally one in a million. I always feel depressed because I realize that they may be right and this never leaves my mind through out the day. I look up to the musical artists and actors, and I always just wonder how they became who they are. I feel like there is no reason to continue living when what you want the most in life isn't there. Appreciate if someone read this and could give their input. Thanks
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self.depression
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Rapid cycling Currently rapid cycling. Going from high and elated to dark and at times even suicidal in a matter of days or even hours and then repeating the cycle. Today I woke up feeling 110% great. Now I'm thinking of reasons I should continue to exist. Rapid cycling is the absolute worst.
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self.bipolar
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Desire to get off Antipsychotics and make the most of life again: i do not want to sleep my life away. [deleted]
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self.bipolar
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Moving Toward Recovery My husband announced he wants a divorce ~3 weeks ago. My functionally depressed general state and monthly hypomanic rages over the past 4 years of marriage have made him start hating who he is with me because he has started to resent me and himself all the time. I’m med compliant for 11 years but no other treatment.
We are living as roommates until our lease is up because we can’t afford to have separate households at the moment.
I spent 3/4 of that time begging, crying, apologizing. I plastered my bedroom with DBT acronyms. I’ve been doing everything around the house. I started walking 5k 3 times a week and practicing yoga. I told myself that I could show him he doesn’t really want to end it. There have been so many good times mixed with the bad.
He’s nice enough to want to be friends through this. He just can’t be in love with me anymore.
I finally faced reality. I have my assessment for an intensive outpatient program tomorrow. I’m finally doing something for MYSELF.
I just wanted to share.
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self.bipolar
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Do I have a mental illness? So this is something that's relatively new to me. Of course, I am unsure if I do have anxiety but perhaps I have a mental illness of some sort. I'm not saying I do have one, but I just want to figure out what exactly is wrong with me.
I've experienced the symptoms I will explain on 3 occasions & they're not pretty at all. The most recent was yesterday. Before hand, the most recent was last week & again in November whilst I was visiting Spain.
So about the symptoms, I suddenly become panicked, tremble & my heart rate/blood flow significantly speeds up (or so it feels.) My personality too becomes affected as I begin to panic. My mouth becomes dry & I do not sleep at all. I feel dreadful & it's as if the sickness won't go away. I should also add that I lose my appetite & feel like vomiting. The funny thing is, I never actually throw up, and instead I just get the sensation of vomiting but nothing comes out. Diahorrea too occurs with this illness. After about 2 days, the symptoms subside. I went to a doctor after the 2nd occurrence & it seemed likely I had caught a bug. But the same bug 3 times in such a short space of time? I find it hard to believe!
The 1st too times I experienced these symptoms I had consumed alcohol the day previous, so I put it down to that somehow. But yesterday I hadn't consumed alcohol the day previous & the symptoms still came about.
Anyway, I know I'm going to get these symptoms again & I just don't know when. It's scary stuff! It affects my home & work life. I stress again that these symptoms never occurred in me until November this year and so far they've hit me on 3 occasions. I'm 25 years old. And to repeat, I'm unsure if this is anxiety issues or not, I'm jut seeking an answer from several places. Hopefully I can find some help here. Cheers!
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self.depression
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I feel awful and feel like I dont want to get better So,
I tried to reengage with life, joined a band, went out etc., but I noticed when those feelings are gone, I feel somehow uncertain.
Let me explain: My main concern which already transformed into one huge belief is that I think I should've died a few months ago. It is incredibly hard to shake these feelings off. They became a part of me.
But whenever I am distracted and away from my triggers and not focusing on this belief, I am relatively fine. But as the time goes on, I notice that I CONSCIOUSLY go in this bad neighbourhood in my head and search for the bad thinking patterns again, because I think they define me in some strange way. The feelings feel like they are part of my personality and like connected to my existence, that is the reason I have so many difficulties letting these damn thoughts go. So it is not like anxiety that you are 100% sure that you want to get over these thoughts, this time they are much more powerful, darker and it feels like I CANT AND DONT WANT TO GET OVER THEM.
Everytime these feelings hit, I feel like I shouldnt be experiencing this very moment anymore. I have an appointment with a therapist on 15th of January.
The thought that "what if I had already acted on these thoughts and maybe that would have been the right decision" is a really big concern for me...
Anyways, just needed to vent...
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self.SuicideWatch
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