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Lithium Acne Help? The title pretty much says it all. I was on 900mg and I started to feel like it wasn't working. I had a blood test which showed I didn't have enough in my system. So I got moved up to 1200. Then my face completely broke out and this has continued for a couple of months.
Washing my face several times a day with acne wash (that orange liquid) seems to help minimally. But other than that, I'm still getting acne mostly on my lower face, chin and neck. And I mean a lot of it.
Has anyone had this happen? If so, did you beat it.or find something that really helped? This is embarrassing, annoying, and painful!
Written on my phone so probably sloppy, but thanks for any ideas. I am SO tired of this.
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self.bipolar
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I'm done 28 years old, I've smoked weed basically every day since I was 15, and there is absolutely no traction in my life. I don't want to do anything. I just want to get high. I enrolled in law school but went to like 2 classes this semester. My anxiety is way too fucking high around other people, and with the growing depression, I don't care enough to push through it.
I don't care about a job. I don't care about meeting other people. I want to be alone, or, preferably, to not exist. I've had this thought for years, and it keeps getting louder and louder.
My life feels like a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. I've been avoiding it more than living it for 13 years. Basically half my life. I've been a non-person as long as I've been a person. So who gives a fuck if I end it.
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self.SuicideWatch
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My mom just told me i was diagnosed with depression 7 years ago and she hid this from me all this time. I don't know what to do now, i've always been sad and felt depressed even though i had no diagnose, and now i find out i had a diagnose all this time. What should i do?
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self.depression
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My 6 year old takes Lamictal and I need some advice/hope [deleted]
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self.bipolar
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I bought my girlfriend a diamond ring And I shouldn't feel guilty for it. Fuck Reddit's anti-diamond millennial stance. I should be feeling happy.
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self.offmychest
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If I sleep less than six hours... or if I don't sleep at all... The next day I'm in a nightmare dreamlike state all day entirely unable to function, bordering on psychosis. No desire to eat or drink water. Sky high blood pressure. Dizzy and disoriented trying to walk around. Extremely paranoid thoughts. Complete loss of short term memory. Can't function. Have to call off work. I had to quit a job because of not getting sleep for three days.
When I was younger I feel like I could skimp on sleep all the time and still ace tests and kick ass. I'm 26 now. I still feel young and like it shouldn't be this bad.
Is this normal in bipolar??? Sleep deprivation causing you to completely lose touch with reality and feel like you're dying for the entire next day?
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self.bipolar
|
Can anyone else relate, hyper-aware of stomach/sometimes struggle eating in public Hey r/anxiety,
First off, want to wish best of luck to anyone out there struggling with anxiety, depression, or anything else related. You’re not alone!
Can anyone else relate to my situation? I struggle hard with anxiety and my stomach. I have developed this fear of puking/puking in public. I have no idea how or why. I think the last time I actually puked was 5-6 years ago in college. I’ve never feared it before, and this is a recent development. This has caused me to be hyper-aware of my stomach. It’s almost like every time I eat, I expect myself to feel sick. Now, this hasn’t kept me from eating anything, and it really hasn’t changed my diet at all, but it’s been driving me crazy. The biggest effect this has had on my life is when I’m out in public eating. If I’m with people I’m super comfortable with, close friends, family or in a location I’m comfortable in, my house, friends houses etc, I’m okay. But if I’m out at a restaurant, I struggle getting through a meal. I feel like it’s because I’m afraid to get sick/feel confined to my seat in a restaurant.
It feels good to type it out, but was wondering if anyone had any suggestions or can even just relate to my situation. I’ve contemplated going to see someone about it, but haven’t committed/am still wavering.
Thanks!
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self.Anxiety
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the low may be temporary,but it recurs and is as unbearable each time [deleted]
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self.depression
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I will love what I love Sometimes people try to bring down what you love, making you feel like you are nothing for loving that thing. I detest that behaviour.
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self.offmychest
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Is it possible to gain friends after not having any for years? [deleted]
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self.depression
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Do weighted blankets help with anxiety? title says it all
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self.Anxiety
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Anti-depressant advice? So I've felt like garbage for several years now but i spent a few taking a few different SSRI's - fluoxetine, sertraline, all that stuff. They stopped me from hitting low points but they also did nothing for highs - I still don't ever feel happy at all. On them I could function but I wouldn't be able to cry or anything even when I felt mentally 'sad' - it felt like they were just removing negative emotions so I could be productive, regardless of if I actually enjoyed life or not.
So I'm wondering does anyone have any experience (particularly positive ones would be nice to hear) with alternate AD's? Like Tricylics or whatever?
I'm really just looking for anything that can help me feel a little happiness again, I'm getting pretty close to throwing in the towel here.
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self.depression
|
Not sure I can make it to Thursday.. TL;DR:Depressed, anxious, shut in, lonely, heartbroken, suicidal, really need someone to speak to.
Heya, I've posted here before which you can see on my profile, but nothing has stuck. Basically the same thing applies, but I really do now know how I can even make it through tonight feeling this empty and lonely. I don't start my anti-depressants until Thursday, and even then they can take weeks before they come into affect. I never speak up until I'm was past my limit, which is why it has taken me so many years to even see a doctor, which I did for the first time last Thursday but I was stupid and hesitated on the anti-depressants so now I must wait until Thursday. I have something for my anxiety but all it does is stop my body from shaking by slowing my heart or something, but does nothing to actually help the feeling. I'm still shut in and even struggling to go downstairs for food.
I appreciate kind messages, but the amount of times I've heard the same stuff, it just feels so meaningless and empty. Hopefully I can find someone who understands, or even willing to just try and understand. I would prefer voice calling too, even though I get so scared of answering the phone etc, words on a screen are just so empty. It would be awkward to start with but I'm okay once I warm up to people a little bit.
Again, with my stupid thoughts, I would appreciate it if you were female, I've never been able to speak to guys, I use to have one close guy friend but he moved away when we left school and I haven't spoken to him since. He was the only one who knew how I felt, with my self harm and suicidal thoughts. I'm sorry I have this mindset but I find it far easier to speak to someone who is female. I went through a really tough breakup in September too so love is not on my mind, I don't want to love or be loved in that way again.
If you made it this far, I really appreciate it and I hope you have a lovely afternoon. I'm in the UK if that matters.
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self.depression
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True love in online dating? Really? Share testimonies! So they say that you can find true love on online dating. Well, okay, I won't dismiss the idea as impossible. Anything is possible, right? But I want a bunch of real answers from you guys. Well you can take a look at success stories, like those dating websites or agencies show you on their sites (I saw one named A Foreign Affair on National Geographic) but I want real personal answers you know. Anyone???
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self.offmychest
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What’s the best way to cope with everyone you know hating you? Pretty much everyone I know is toxic to be with and no one is genuine and I’m too shy and anxious to go out and make new friends
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self.depression
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Losing touch with reality I’ve been struggling for a while again now. I’m no stranger to depression.
I’ve been over working myself for my employer for the last 12 months because it’s been the “right thing” to do (working double my contracted hours)
2 days before Halloween I fell over and landed on my elbow, I went to ER the next day and they put a cast on it even though they couldn’t see a fracture and gave me scripts for Oxycodone to help with the pain.
I’ve been off work for 3 weeks and tried going back for 4 hours on Monday (my regular hours) because I thought my elbow was getting better, but was crying from the pain an hour and a half in. I stay the whole day and grit my teeth through the pain.
The pain is so immense that I lie in bed for hours and just stare at the ceiling hating myself.
I try to roll over to my partner to hug him so I don’t cry from the deep depression I’m feeling in my heart and all he does is roll away from me and grunt “no”
I’m so stuck, and I’m crying twice a day, once because I’m sick of being in pain and the second because I’m sick of feeling so black and empty in my heart.
I took too much endone last night because I couldn’t deal with the pain anymore, but I don’t know if it was the pain in my elbow or my heart I was trying to escape. It ended up making me vomit 6 times in an hour and a half. So I got to add the pain in my stomach to the list as well.
I don’t know what to do. I have no one to talk to, I have no friends, and can’t talk to family.
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self.depression
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I didn't think it could hurt like this This is going to be long, but I think it has to be. The tl;dr is I want to kill myself because a friend blocked me for a few days, which sounds laughable by itself.
This friend, who I'll call Astraea for a little irony, is the most important person in my life. I have a sister, both parents, friends that would consider me close, a therapist, a (albeit meager) support system, and a girlfriend. These people aren't really that important to me. I don't care if they never talk to me again, or if they find my corpse after my last suicide attempt. Years of neglect and abuse have seen to it that I don't let myself get close to people, even if I try. Astraea is different, everything she says or does goes straight to the core of who I am like this emotional distance I have from everyone doesn't exist. I used to love her, back when we were in highschool, but she didn't love me back so she chose to hurt me because I wasn't getting the message. I spent the next few months burning away my passion for her or anyone else in constant anger and I failed out of my first semester of college.
This is the part where people tend to stop reading or listening and comment on why the fuck I'm still talking to her, and I tell them that they know two things about Astraea and I've known her for 5 years. Let me continue and you can understand. I know that sounds patronizing, but it's not fair to judge until you know as much of the story as you can get.
She changed. She saw what she did to me and her friends around her and she put all of her effort into being a kind person like I and others had told her she could be, and she contacted me to apologize and help me recover from the pain she had given me. That was about 2 years ago now, and since then she and I have struggled to be better people in the wake of being raised in shitty homes. I guess Astraea feels like a sister to me now, a real sister from a real childhood with a real family that really loves each other. And I feel like I'm losing her. I was looking through old pictures I have saved and I found a bad yearbook photo of her that I knew she hated and sent it to her as a joke. I forgot how shallow her shitty ex was that she's still getting over and how he broke up with her for a month after seeing that picture. I forgot how much she's struggled with body image issues and how she's taken back to the time when she was a shitty person to her friends because that's all she knew from her home life. She said she's done with me and then to sit tight for a few days. It feels like a well of emotion has upturned inside of me and I don't think I can live with myself anymore. I ruined the one thing I truly cared about and it's all my fault. She's just going to add me back to say goodbye after she can handle talking to me again, in a few days. I can't believe I fucked up so much...
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self.SuicideWatch
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I hate when I support people but they don't do the same back! I try my best to be there for my friends and make sure they know I am. Anytime they are down I make sure to try and help. When something good happens to them I'm happy for them and tell them I'm proud. The thing is when either of these happen to me nobody cares. Nobody wants to talk to me when I'm feeling shit. Nobody wants to talk to me when I had an amazing day. I have more friends than I ever have had but I feel extremely lonely. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. I can't even make new friends because I'm from a small area so I'm stuck.
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self.offmychest
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Please, anybody, help Going through the toughest time of my life and am barely holding it together. I work full time, I'm in shape and have hobbies but there are some things going on in my life that are just breaking my heart and my will. I've always been at least a little sensitive emotionally and I'm looking at some very tough times ahead and I'm not ready. Sorry if this is too much but I really could use anybody to talk to or get advice from. I had an abusive family I split from a little over a year ago and work too much to have friends outside of work. My now ex cheated and stole pretty much everything from me out of the nowhere after 4 years and life plans together. Now I'm facing this absolutely debilitating breakup at the same time as healthy problems, financial destruction and to top it all off my wonderful dog is dying. Between the holidays and my 30th birthday coming up in a couple weeks I just can't help it. All I can think about is how to end it and I'm terrified. If I'm going to be completely honest, I'm crying and barely able to type this into my phone. Anybody, somebody, please fucking help me.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I'm so fucking lonely Long story short: I feel like people don't like me. I feel like I'm not interesting or fun. I used to think I was, but now I'm wondering if that was ever true. I like people, but lately in social situations I'm pretty quiet unless someone else pulls me out of my shell. I hate having to rely on other people in order to be social—it makes me feel like I'm a supporting character in my own life.
I don't get invited to things. I can't command the attention of a room like I could before. I'm watching myself withdraw and wither up, and dear God, I feel so lonely. I've haven't been on a date or even had sex in 2 and a half years, and I'm craving genuine affection, but I can't seem to find it. And to be honest, the thought of seeking it out turns my stomach.
Sorry, I know this is a total rant, but there's so much going through my head right now and I've had some whiskey and I need to get it out.
**EDIT:** Whoa, thank you so much, everyone. Your kindness and support was a really nice thing to wake up to. And for those who said they're feeling the same and are glad they're not alone, I'm glad I'm not alone, too. And I'm truly glad that you got some kind of comfort from my post. In response to a lot of the comments talking about mental health, I was diagnosed with a hormonal disorder earlier this year, but I can't afford the supplements I was prescribed, so I know that's a contributing factor.
Several of you asked about a triggering event, so I'll answer that here as well: Last night was tough. I'm currently in Chicago at a major industry conference. I'm not a schmoozey, salesy type. I'm a writer. But I was asked to do something that would require me to engage with current and prospective clients, and I felt so awkward. Afterwards, I went with a small group to a nice restaurant downtown, and I engaged a bit, but mostly drank whiskeys and listened. Afterwards, a group went out to go bar hopping, texted one of the guys in the dinner group to go, but he decided to go back to the hotel. He told me to reach out to the bar-hopping group. I texted two of the people in that group, and both of them "left me on 'seen'" as people say. I was pretty hurt, and the whiskey didn't help, and I was already feeling socially awkward because of the sales event.
I'm feeling much better this morning, and a lot of that is because of your responses. I genuinely enjoy alone time, but a lot of alone time exacerbates my anxiety.
Anyway, thanks for listening and taking the time to respond. It's folks like you all that remind me why I like people.
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self.offmychest
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Expressive aphasia on lamotrigine (lamictal)? Within the past couple of months I have developed something called *expressive aphasia*. I believe this to be a side effect of the Lamotrigine I am taking, as I have never before had any problems at all with my speech. The problem manifests itself similar to a stutter, but is different in a few key ways:
1) I get hung up on vowel sounds as well (which I believe is uncommon for stutterers?)
2) Sometimes I'll stop after a word and be unable to say the next word without even attempting the initial sound.
3) I do not have these problems when I am reading something aloud, nor when I am reciting/enacting memorized speech.
I was able to find quite a bit of info on expressive aphasia as it relates to strokes, but not much in regard to bipolar patients. I am wondering if anyone here has also had this happen to them while taking Lamotrigine and what you did to cope with it? I have already scheduled an appointment with my doctor to discuss other possible treatment options.
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self.bipolar
|
does anyone just lay in their bed and imagine to die? my name is Danny and im 19 years old, and i fear that at some point soon im going to kill myself. Every day its just so hard for me to get out of bed and face the day. if i could i would just sleep all day so i could avoid everyone and everything. i feel like no matter where i go and where i look i just see people happy and smiling, and in the town i live in, im overwhelmed by memories of my past, and usually the good memories are the ones that make me feel so alone.
i only have four friends, whom i feel i cant trust, because i cant trust anyone. im scared of people and what they might think of me, and whenever i do say something to someone i feel like i just said the dumbest thing in the world. i hate myself and feel like im un-loveable, and that if i wasnt then i wouldnt be so lonely and heart broken. im pretty sure no one will give a fuck when im gone and that no one will even notice this post.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Has anyone become manic from a plant light? I use a light box for my own depression but I never found it really did anything.
However, I just started using a plant light in my cubicle today because my four desk plants were looking a little dreary. Now, I feel very amped up and shaky. Rare for a winter night for me...
Did I just accidentally expose myself to 8 hours of basically light therapy?
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self.bipolar
|
I Get angry I get angry every time I think about all the fun activities I have to miss to keep a regimented lifestyle, and all the meds that I have to take that are destroying my body, and all the time and effort I sink into trying to be functional, and how all of that is not enough and random shit I can't control sets me into a bad place and it doesn't fucking end no matter what I do even if I take my meds and adjust them so that I sleep regardless of how much energy I have I get so fucking angry.
I get angry that I gave away my tools for self harm so I can't even take it out on myself without getting creative and doing worse things.
I get angry that I can be feeling normal but still experience shit like the inability to eat (which pisses me off in of itself) and without warning flip back into borderline manic.
I get angry that I get suicidal because I can't stand the pain but know I don't really want to die.
I get angry when I get flashbacks to the pain I felt and caused while manic or depressed.
I get angry that I am now embarrassed about my academic career and am having to take my second leave of absence and can't finish undergrad, even though I had always been a high achiever and passionate for learning.
I get angry that sometimes I can do really well, but even when I am doing well professionally and personally out of nowhere an episode hits and wrecks everything.
I get angry that I try to work and that just results in me lying in the dark hurting myself.
I get angry when people tell me I can do this, but they can't substantiate their claims with data.
I get angry when I think about how people say I can get better, but they can't promise it.
I get angry when people say I have to do this, even though I don't want to.
And when I realize that even if I do get better it will mean I can't be me, that I have to be rigid with my lifestyle and medication for the rest of my life, I get angry becuase it seems like the only two options are becoming someone I am not and do not want to be or killing my physical body- in both cases I am already dead.
edit: formatting
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self.bipolar
|
I think I need help. Where can I get it? (UK) [deleted]
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self.depression
|
Feeling suicidal, great way for NYE! Depressing. It's NYE, I was working and got shouted at by my manager for not doing things well (what a hypocrite). I'm feeling emotional and suicidal. I don't want to go hospital. They are just going to restrain me, get blood tests and keep me there for hours. Like prison. I'd rather let me emotions flow. So tired of life.
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self.bipolar
|
Life Sucks Dad dying a little more every day due to Parkinsons, back hurting and in constant pain. I have to work to support my wife and child, I feel like I can't do it anymore. I just want to lie in a ditch to hide from it all. Fuck life.
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self.depression
|
Help,i think I wrote something here few days ago but now i become worse i cry everyday for everything people around just saying do something or go somewhere (like school or eat ) and People's are always saying they have problems too and they think i need to go school. Am i not normal?. I cried for two hours while i am sitting on a bench. My family woke me up for school but before they get up i had a dream about something but i dont remember and i got some kind of attack i was shaking and crying, my father came my room said i need to go school i said i was feeling bad later my mother came and said she was feeling bad and i was need to to get up and go school. I just did it but i didnt go school
. I went to a park and cried thinkin everything and eventuly get up. When i came home my family was asking i didnt tell anything too them because they broke my trust today but biggest thing they broke me.
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self.depression
|
Letting coworkers down We had a secret shopper come in & i failed the two things they were looking for. my store got a rating of 99% but the missing 1% is because of me. the secret shopper conveniently came in on a terrible night for me when my anxiety was at its recent peak. I know i’m just overthinking it but it’s really bothering me. I don’t even like this job anymore but i’m too anxious to apply to other places, it’s all a fucking cycle. done ranting i guess
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self.Anxiety
|
Fear of home intruders? Ever since I was a kid, I could swear that I could hear someone breaking in to my home. I heard footsteps, shuffling, the thuds of entry. I just knew it was happening, and hearing everyone around me snoring and unaware made me panic even more. I'd freeze up in my room and not even move for fear of attracting attention.
This continues on to this day. I live alone in an apartment, and literally my only saving grace is that my upstairs neighbors seem to work late and come home at midnight, awake until very late. I can pin all sorts of noises on them, as they often provide plenty of creaks and thuds that I can recognize as them. It's a comfort to know they're awake.
However, I could swear that I hear windows opening, my door thudding, I keep a light on outside my bedroom door to be able to see any feet outside the door, I check my windows constantly for any sign of shadows or silhouettes...
I have medication that at least puts me to sleep, but I feel groggy the entire next day when I take it, however, because I typically stay up quite late when I have these nights. Today, I slept at 3:30 and woke up at 8.
I'm very tired of the complete panic, and certainty that someone is here. I think that even with cameras I'd be too afraid to see anyone for it to be helpful. I have thought about the investment, however.
I worry about saying the wrong thing to my neighbors, I know they are selling weed and I get worried that someone will go after the wrong apartment. I worry about people I walk past on my way into my building, I worry about anyone who knows where I live...
Fuck this, man. Does anyone else deal with this?
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self.Anxiety
|
Hopeless and feel comforted by the fact i will die one day and no longer be a burden . I am on the verge of possibly having the worst year of my life .I have been waking up depressed and empty since my relationship ended with my ex of two years,she cheated on me while I was on holiday.I was that dumb that I wanted to fix things but it was never the same after.In June I fell for someone in University as I was trying to move on,only for two of the people I thought were my best friends decided to help her get with one of my "friends" knowing the feelings I had for this girl.Left University ,my mother was supportive but my Dad called me a fool and a failure to the family.I have since had all relationships broken pretty much,left social media and truly have no one.Stopped speaking to my therapist , honestly early came this close to stabbing myself just to take all the pain and heartache as bad as it sounds I feel like I'd be better off no longer being in this world .I am just so done with everything but at 21 years old these last 3 years have possibly been my worst ever ,ending up in hospital twice cause of my problems.Drinking myself into oblivion just to feel any sort of buzz and numb pain after losing people and my Uncle and Grandad passing away 12 months apart.I know I am not mentally well but I have no one to tell and have no friends or anyone I can trust won't stick a knife in my back.Sorry for the massive rant.
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self.depression
|
Does anyone have resources for overcoming driving anxiety?
I’ve had my permit for about six months now and have barely been able to drive anywhere other than a parking lot because I get so sick with worry driving at speed / at lights / around other cars. I know I need to practice to get rid of my anxiety but the anxiety prevents me from practicing for too long before I break down. If anyone has resources or suggestions to fight this it’d be much appreciated.
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self.Anxiety
|
I cannot look in the mirror anymore without feeling disgusted. Hi people,
I feel like there is just not a way for me to look the way I want to, and I feel like life would be rather sallow not being attractive.
I'm 24 now, and I had issues with my body ever since I can remember.
I have wide hips and a rather unfortunate fat distribution, which made me always feel looking to feminine. Especially my chest was always a matter of great concern to me, for the persistent fat and what I suspect very light gyno i have on it.
With 16 I picked up lifting, in hopes to alleviate those problems. Being pretty oblivious to right workout routines, the first time I had noticable gains with 18. My body image improved, but I still hated my hips and my chest. After one more year of lifting, I decided to make a diet to reduce my body fat percentage, rather succesfully. While my sixpack was noticable and my chest wasnt as soggy as always, I had one of the first times of being happy with my body. But then some mania kicked in myself, I wanted to be ever stronger, I ate and worked out like there was no tommorrow and finally trained with the magic 100kg weights on the benchpress, but I was particularly proud of my squats, where in my best days I lifted more than 140kg in sets of 5.
The heavy weights gave me a boost in confidence and a sense of purpose. I was always the fattest and ironically the weakest in my social circle and classes, but now I was amongst strongest of my peers! Intoxicated by my newfound strenght the extreme soar of my body-fat-percantage and the severe stretchmarks which accompanied my weight gain went unnoticed. So unnoticed, that in retrospect this absolute blind eye to this developments induce great doubts in my sanity.
One day my knees began to ache, I was 20 or 21 by then. The pain grew and didn't subside after a few weeks, so I consulted a physician. He told me I had acquired the patellar apex syndrome, what colloquially is called a jumpers knee. He ordered me to rest a few weeks, gave me prescription for both anti-inflammatory meds and physical therapy and send me on my way.
I followed his instructions, but weeks and months went by but nothing I did abrogated the pain, it even seemed to get worse. I couldn't even walk stairs or do unweighted squats without it.
So the months went by and I fell into serious depression. I didn't even work out my upper body anymore. I don't know why I didn't, I very much should have. One day into my abstinence from working out, I looked into the mirror and was shocked and appalled by what I saw. It was the very first time I noticed the unhealthy and unattractive amount of fat I gained, as well as I noticed how deep and broad my stretchmarks were. My stretchmarks covered, or better cover my entire midsection, plus my arms and shoulders. They are not isolated faint red lines, but a dense network of canyons ripped into my skins. To this day I still occassionally shudder in disgust feeling them, and feel trapped in my body.
I became very reclusive, lost many friends, didn’t leave the house and gravely neglected university. I didn’t want to live anymore. My kneeproblems persisted even two years after they began, and I thought they will never go away, or if they go away, I will be over thirty by then, and what good is it then to be attractive anymore. I thought my stupidity cost me being attractive in my youth, were it most matters, and I still have a feeling, if you haven’t had good 20s, the rest of your life will inevitably suck, too. I thought even if I got back in shape, my strech marks. I didn’t want to make the best out of it, or play the cards I got dealt, I wanted to kill myself.
But alas, I eventually didn’t have the courage to so I tried to get back in shape anyways. I did not do any serious weight lifting, but I very eagerly biked and held diet. I lost 90 pound over the course of a year, loosing my excess fat and much of my muscles, but I didn’t care about them anymore. After some other healthproblems which barred me from working out for awhile, 3 months ago I finally arrived where I wanted to be. I regained my sixpack, and my muscles, although drastically smaller in size, where quit toned. My lower belly was still a little bit saggy, but I was aiming to solve that by further decreasing body fat. But overall, I was finally happy again with my body, happier I have ever been with it. Even my knee problems seemed to have gone away, I even began to do unweighted squats again.
But then I got what was suspected to be a light case of epididymitis. Nothing to terrible, but I went to the doctor anyways because it made walking quite unpleasant. My GP said that he thinks that this very much could be the aforementioned epididymitis, he could to a urine test to determine it, but in the end he couldn’t be bothered to, prescriped me some Ciprofloxacin, said to wait and see i fit gets better on its own before taking it and send me on my way.
Eventually I took it, and I immideatly experienced weird psychological side effects. I felt like I was tripping, and had a hard time concentrating, but shrugged it of as being nothing out oft he ordinary for an antibiotic. Two days in I started to cry 3 times a day, was emotionally very weak, but still thought nothing of it. I finished the course, and though it didn’t really alleviate my condition at all while taking it, it went away a couple days after the last pill.
A week later the concentration problems still persisted, I felt and still feel significantly dumber, but alas, you cannot proof that and there’s no cure for that. I developed tendon problems, first in my achilles heel and then my whole foot. My knees now feel EXACTLY like two years ago. My wrist hurt very fast now, and I feel like the structural integrity of my body got compromised. Everytime I stretch and crack anything, it sounds very brittle and dry. I feel like my muscles shrinked, and my libido is on a low point. I feel like an old man. On top of that I developed numbness of sensation in my face, and the problems with concentration and feeling of dumbness dont go away. 6 weeks have passed since I finished the antibiotic, and I feel poisened. I read online about the adverse effects I experienced, and to my horror I read many stories of how they can very well be permanent.
I don’t want to shower anymore. Everytime I look in the mirror, I look less good. Today I even looked bad again. This inflicts an abnormal amount of pain on me. I don’t want to do sports out of fear of tearing a tendon, further inhibiting me from being active again. How can you deal with not feeling attractive? I don’t want to leave my house anymore due to feeling inferior. I’m already in psychiatric treatment as of now. They gave me antidepressants, which help me deal with it a lot better. But I still feel like my life cannot be worth living anymore, for I am doomed to roam this earth dumb and ugly forever. And even if my problems would eventually go away, it would be way too late in life.
I’m sorry this turned into such a long rant, I’m sure it is not easy to read such a long text from a non native speaker. But there is no need for anyone to read it, I just wanted to express myself and get it off my chest.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Lonely. No love. I'm so sad and lonely. I'm so lonely. Why do I even exist?
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self.SuicideWatch
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My girlfriend just left me after 4 years of ups and downs and BPD hell and I want someone to talk to Someone, anyone. I don't want to be alone tonight
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self.SuicideWatch
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How do you tell if someone is showing signs of being bi polar? [deleted]
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self.bipolar
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What medications should 100% be avoided for pregnant women? I'm not bipolar, so do not have access to a psychiatrist to ask this, I am just a curious person who is interested in the disorder. I read mixed information all the time. It seems most medications can be taken safely, even though it says on the bottle to be avoided during pregnancy. Like, once pregnant the doctor will be like "oh no, that's fine. Keep taking it".
So I'm wondering, what are medications that actually will have detrimental effects?
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self.bipolar
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My health has been taking it's toll on me. Hey. 25 male here. Since the beginning of the month I've now lost 27lbs unintentionally and every day is roughly 70% stomach pain. I've had fits of throwing up blood and the doctors have no clue what's wrong. It's 12:40 AM right now and I'm still in pain. For the first time in my life I just want to give up. Life like this just isn't worth it. I went from being fit to fragile in less than a month and nothing I do makes me feel any better.
The doctors gave me a follow-up date of February 14, and I'll be honest. If I'm in pain like this every day day, there's no way I'm letting myself live that long. I'm going to make it through the holidays to see my family, but that's all I have left to look forward to.
Today my brother told me to stop being a pussy about it, and I know he didn't mean any harm... But I've been faking optimism from day 1 and can't do that anymore. I want to go to bed tonight and not wake up.
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self.SuicideWatch
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One of the worst aspects of depression: procrastination, self-bargaining, and rationalization [deleted]
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self.depression
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I will receive another diagnose on wednesday. And I am so Sad. Hi guys. I've been a time away from the sub. My mood has been stable for 4 months now, with rare days with manic symptoms.
But, I was studying for a college exam the personalities disorders, when I saw this specific one: avoiding personality disorder. It's basically feeling that you are a social failure and experience a high level of anxiety in social situations.
I quickly identified with the disorder, and took a lots of tests on the internet. All of them, all of them came back positive. For coincidence, I was talking about these feelings to my therapist, and they really fit to the diagnose.
So, wednesday is my pdoc consult. I am sure when I bring it up, I will receive an additional label. The Bipolar Avoidant guy.
Why we who suffer with mental disease have to be so fucked up in comparison to other people???
I am really sad and have no one to talk right now
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self.bipolar
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Everything's going right, but I feel so wrong I should feel "blessed" with the life I have. I had a shitty childhood but everything changed when I got married. I have a beautiful child and an amazing husband.
The only problem is me.
Why, even with everything so seemingly perfect, do I just want to rip into myself. I feel so dead inside. But I can't leave them, it would destroy my family. I just can't shake it. I just...I don't want to be here. Sorry...just had to talk to someone. Anyone.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Help with meditation, too dizzy Hi there,
First time poster so I'm hoping you kind people can help me out. Recently I had a big scare where I started suffering all of the physical symptoms of anxiety without knowing anything about anxiety. These include palpitations, weird pains in my head and chest, being super jumpy, and falling into mind traps such as catostrophising etc.
Now that I understand anxiety a bit better I've managed to get my conscious brain under control and can identify anxious thoughts and push past them, however, the physical symptoms are persisting. I still have a lot of pressure in my head and chest as well as dizziness.
I've been suggested to try and meditate and participate in mindfulness exercises however whenever I close my eyes and focus on my breathing I get quite dizzy and it's hard to concentrate as the experience is quite uncomfortable. Does anyone have any advice about mindfulness exercises which might be of use, or should I just persist with meditation even if it is quite uncomfortable?
Thanks in advance
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self.Anxiety
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I'm so sick of listening to the women at work talk about their long-term boyfriends, fiancés, husbands, wedding plans, engagement rings, etc. Please just get me out. My place of work consists of female employees in their mid to late 20s, so this is what I get to listen to all day.
Sure, I could be happy for them, but I'm mostly just jealous and miserable. I miss my ex. I miss having someone around.
I can honestly count the number of single women at my place of work on one hand.
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self.offmychest
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I don't know how to be human anymore Diagnosed BP1 3 years ago. Have been fighting to hang on to being normal but I can't manage. Being BP1 affects all aspects of my life and I don't/can't accept it. I don't know how to relate to people, say anything meaningful, enjoy the company of people...I'm just a human placeholder. I want to believe I'm still me, but I'm clearly not the person I once was, and I can't accept it. It's too much to accept. This bipolar crap is crippling and it's not fair at all. fcuk me
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self.bipolar
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DAE get anxiety over their pets health? My cat is my therapy animal and I love her so much. I bury my face in her fur to calm myself down and listen to her soothing purrs. I learned from a young age to seek solace in animals when I'm feeling sad or anxious.
Lately I've been having anxiety attacks if she shows the smallest change in routine or behaviour. Last year she had a kitty cold and had to stay at the vet for a few days and that obviously traumatized me. I'm single 33 year old woman and deal with hypochondriac tendencies myself, and I tend to stress my cat out even more with my worry and stress. Does anyone else experience this? Having a rough week :(
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self.Anxiety
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I'm depressed, nobody that I know can help me, and I cannot afford therapists, what should I do ? [deleted]
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self.depression
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Any experience with geodon (ziprasidone)? I have been taking zyprexa (olanzapine). Due to issues with weight gain, my psychiatrist has changed me to Geodon (ziprasidone). Just wondering if anyone knows anything about or has taken geodon. I always leave appointments and forget anything he has told me.
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self.bipolar
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My co-worker is depressed and I've been trying to help her but I don't know how. We've worked together for over a year now. I've been dealing with depression and suicidal tendencies for months and now I'm starting to see the warning signs in her. She'll make self-deprecating jokes a lot or she'll say she wants to die in a joking manner but I think it may have some truth behind it. Sometimes she'll act like she just doesn't give a fuck about anything or care about her well-being (she'll do things like get a minor injury and sort of just shrug it off and not treat it).
I behaved exactly like this when I was alone and depressed. I'm still trying to get better and it's killing me to see it happening to someone else now.
We're casual friends right now so I don't think we're on a level where I can just straight up ask her about it without creating tension or having her thinking I'm a wierdo so I've been doing things like bringing snacks into work on her shifts or covering her shifts when she calls in.
I don't really know how to help her though. I've never tried to help someone who's depressed and don't really know how to approach it. What are some things I can do?
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self.offmychest
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Advice for 17 year old guy emotional issues please [removed]
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self.depression
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Dear republicans. I am going to laugh at you when you bury your children [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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last night I saw a dead body but it wasnt there. I've been manic lately and having hallucinations but I've been having some new ones. Last night I rolled over and saw a person-sized lump in my bed. In my stupor i thought i was my partner so i went to put my arm around them and then i looked and saw rotting flesh and bugs crawling out of black sludge. Then i turned away (scared) and when I looked back I could tell that it wasnt a person. I dont know if I did a very good job describing that but has anyone else experienced gory hallucinations? I'm sure im not the only one this was just my first. I'm still scared because Ive never had a visual like that before
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self.bipolar
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bad day. I'm a 20 year old guy. I have to pretend to be okay because there's family visiting us here at my house. I don't want to talk, I don't want to smile, I don't want to be awake... but I have to because well, I'll get yelled at for being a brat and because I should *just get over it*.
I can't see what's good in life, all I want to do is be with my boyfriend cuddling and sleeping because that's the only thing I do right, sleep. I need him to tell me that it's going to be okay.
These past 2 days were so amazing, and now I'm back into this shit.
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self.depression
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Females: Did switching your birth control (lowering hormone dose) help you in some way? [deleted]
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self.depression
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Need help - Hospital did not complete my prescription properly and I am at risk of running out. Hi all, I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and I am currently under the care of the Mental Health Team. For around 2 years now I have been taking Risperidone (There was a month where I was taken off of it and put on Depakote but I had to revert back). It works really well for me.
I went to see my Psychiatrist last week and he decided to up my dosage (I had a manic episode last last year and I was worried it would happen again). I did not go straight to the pharmacy as I had enough medication at home to last me a couple of weeks even at the higher dosage.
I went to pick up my prescription at boots on Thursday, but they said it was not valid as the doctor did not put his details on it. I called the Mental Health Unit first thing Friday morning and they told me they will get in touch with the Psychiatrist.
They did not get back to me so I rang Friday afternoon and they told me to call again on Monday.
I rang this morning and the guy said "Well I sent him an email, he's not seen it yet, leave it with us" but heard nothing again. I called the number again around 2ish and a lady answered this time and told me not to call again.
I run out of medication on Thursday and I had a manic episode late last year which nearly killed me. Is there any other place I can go to? - Last time I missed a dose it made me sick and I had to leave work early so I am worried that might happen again.
Any help is greatly appreciated.
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self.bipolar
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DAE feel anxious about being in a romantic relationship? I tell myself that I'd like to be in a relationship but as soon as someone shows romantic interest in me or asks me on a date I feel this gut-wrenching anxiety and the need to get out of the situation as fast as possible. Even if I initially liked the person, the moment it becomes mutual I become terrified at the prospect of being in a relationship with them. I'm just so anxious about opening up to someone in an emotional or physical way and I can't bring myself to become vulnerable. I feel like I'm sabotaging my own life by turning down great opportunities with great guys.
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self.Anxiety
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i wished my parents loved me more but it’s okay
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self.depression
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I hate that i don’t get invited to my kids functions [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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Tell me all the things you love about life that keep you from suicide. I could really use a few ideas. Im losing my mind. My life has no purpose.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Let it happen. My last days, my feelings are killing me.. [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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Bipolar and Autistic? I was just wondering if anyone else here is familiar with how autism and bipolar disorder contribute to each other, considering I have both.
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self.bipolar
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Depressed and don't know what to do So to get straight to the point, I have struggled a lot since puberty with, well, everything in life in general. Socially / emotionally kind of fucked, dont really want to explain the details here.
Anyway, I have almost no (close) friends, have not ever had a relationship, that kind of good stuff.
The only good thing I guess rn is that I nearly have a bachelors degree. The downside is that it took me a really long time to get it, AND it is not the bachelor I started out in. I started out in a Engineering degree, almost but not quite Electrical Engineering (lets say 85% EE), and I got bogged down after about 1-1.5 years. The first year I did not do all that badly (though the important major subjects I failed, but I still got an average amount of credits). The second year I did worse but still not bad enough to convincingly say I should quit. The third year I failed extremely hard and basically gave up. After that I switched to a different major which you could say is Engineering "lite". I also switched because in the last semester I took 4 classes, of which 3 were extremely tough, got extremely stressed overwhelmed, and thus failed them all.
I am happy that at least I almost got a degree now. But I can't really say Im passionate about what I do now. So I do not really want to do a masters degree in this field.
Could not really say that about the first major I did either. But I still find it hard to decide if that was because I am fucked as a person, or because I did not put in enough effort, or because I truly dislike the material/subject. Now I dont know what to do. Starting all over again is not an option. I can finish the first degree but I doubt I want to do the masters degree that fits with that degree. Very stressed about all this shit.
Background on my interests: been a computer nerd since very young age. Loved it. Love hardware and software. Knew very early on how to build a computer and all that stuff. At the same time learned about how to install an OS, repartition, all that stuff and really liked it. I just developed from there. Dabbled in overclocking and other stuff involving "tweaking". Love all of that too. Never really did any programming though. Only started doing that in college. I kind of like it but dont love it.
I am passionate about certain music. Puberty / adolescence were awful for me. Had terrible self esteeem issues (still to a certain degree) and it fucked my life up. Shitty consequences like Social Anxiety and probably some depression too. When I most needed I did not get the help I needed. Also, those who could have helped me did not or did not understand it.
So, I got into music like Nine Inch Nails, and it has become an integral part of myself. Trent Reznor is the first person to truly make me feel less alone and genuinely seems to be someone I have important things in common with. I love that feeling. Later I found the works of MJK. I like a lot of that too. Celldweller is another good one. I like to really dig deep into the music and especially also the artists behind the music, and what makes them tick. On the other hand, I find it hard to relate on a deep level with most other human beings in my life. These people make me feel somewhat more sane, without them I would feel even more alone.
There is probably more I could write about this but I think it gets the point across.
I also like a bit of photography (tend to go through phases with that) and I like some films / series a lot.
I like cars a lot too. I am lucky enough to own a decent one.
Finally I like doing some sports and just general exercise. I quite like running too especially when you get runners high (sometimes I get all these big vision of ambition success which then fade quickly after).
Can anyone relate? Or maybe a more important question, did anyone make it through all this text?
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self.offmychest
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What results should you expect from treatment? I hope it's ok to post here, if not please feel free to guide me to the right sub.
I don't have bipolar but I have many friends who do having met them during my treatment for Depression over the years. They are all on treatment and mostly lead very functional and productive lives. Some do sometimes still have episodes but generally speaking this isn't their "baseline". They work hard in treatment and eventually come back to daily life at a level they can handle.
This is what confuses me about this one friend who is the exception. Her mood swings are constant regardless of meds. I don't want to get specific because that may hurt a reader of they are similar, but let me just say that as long as I have known her she is in constant crisis and very intrusive with it (there are nights when she calls me 5 times while I'm trying to sleep). She says she can't even maintain concentration long enough to read more than a few sentences. She says she can't hold any type of job. She has been this way as long as I have known her which is about two years.
Because she doesn't work she can't afford a therapist. She does have a psychiatrist who has a great reputation among my other bipolar buddies. And she is on a meds cocktail.
I guess my question is, is this a normal bipolar experience? I can't shake the thought that theres a problem with her treatment. That she should be a little more functional after so many years of treatment. I genuinely don't know how to raise it with her because it may come of as judgemental especially if this **is** the best she can ever become.
Do my expectations sound unreasonable? If not, how can I communicate this to her without breaking her further?
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self.bipolar
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anyone drawn to D/s relationships for stability? just realized that I'm only into kink / being submissive sexually because the Dom/ sub relationship (where I'm voluntarily giving someone else authority over my actions) feels safer than having to manage myself when I feel constantly unstable. And now that I've been diagnosed, I realize that setting up more points of control for my partner and trusted family members (so I don't completely fuck up my life while manic) is mimicking the level of control I wanted past Doms to have over me. Y'all have any experience with this?
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self.bipolar
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I Think I'm Done. I honestly don't think I can keep up with this anymore. As each day goes by, I sink deeper and deeper into the hole.. and I don't know if I can come back out this time. I can literally feel all of my will to live being sucked out of me. I just don't think I can keep up with this any longer. I always think I start to reach a point of feeling better, but I just can't escape this no matter what.
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self.depression
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My first herpes outbreak and I want to die [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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I hate this season Every single December since I've moved out, my depression goes off the scale right through the whole month. Being emotionally obligated to go to a place I don't want, to see people I'd rather not, essentially paying for the privelege in the form of gifts that it stresses me out no end trying to organise and would rather not give to begin with. And yes, I know, I don't strictly *have* to go, but if I don't it'll upset my mum greatly. We already hardly see each other and this is one of the big family events. So I'll grit my teeth and bear it, hope that I can make it through the next week without throwing myself off my balcony, go to this stupid family thing for several days, and spend the whole time begrudging the lost vacation time (all while knowing that if I stayed home, I'd probably be just as miserable there).
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self.offmychest
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Just went to counseling. She wants me to go to hospital. My parents are angry with me. I feel so hopeless and down. I have been having mixed episodes and I’m so exhausted. I cried at my second counseling appointment. And I get home and my mom is upset I haven’t been sharing my emotions with her and that she has no clue what’s going on. How can I explain to her that I don’t know what’s going on?! That I simply feel down one moment and want to kill myself and then another moment I want to do anything and everything but I feel so exhausted that I can’t?!? I’m terrified of going to the hospital. I don’t want to end up in the ward. They are so lifeless and depressing. I have finals this week. I should be studying. I wish I could just turn it off. It just won’t stop!!!
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self.bipolar
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Anti depressants Why do anti-depressants seem SO beneficial, but reading reviews, are like NIGHTMARES to most people?
Makes me and my fiance scared for him to try one!
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self.Anxiety
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Panic attack help please. (Cancer fear)
(Sorry for the spam)
Im having a panic attack im struggling to breathe im scared
I have a lump for the past 3/4 days rhat used to be painful but isint anymore!:/ theres hair on this area its flat on surface and reddish with a purple colour around a small hair its hard underneath whren i press its moveable feel like i can pick it up googled scared its cancer (lump occured after i itched this area roughly) :(
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self.Anxiety
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Does anyone fantasize about all the things you wouldn't have to do anymore if you died? [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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Is it normal to feel completely depressed some days but happy other days? self explanatory but some days i feel absolutely worthless but others like i can conquer everything... is this normal behaviour for someone depressed?
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self.depression
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I have nightmares because of trauma, is that a form of PTSD? [deleted]
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self.depression
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Just a little something for those having a rough day/week/month/year. . . [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
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Issues starting relationships I was wondering if anyone had any advice/experience with this. I’m alone and I’m not sure if it’s for the better. I’ve got a decent job, am going to school, and keeping up with myself but I’m scared about starting a relationship. I’ve found myself just doubting if anything would work because I am bipolar. I mean I don’t have many redeeming qualities physically and I’m worried that, if they knew, then everything would be out of pity. Or if I slipped up taking the meds, then the phases would come out and I’d be viewed as irresponsible and unstable.
Pls help
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self.bipolar
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When the guy who made my life a living hell is on my husbands favorite hockey team... [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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Recently fucked up my chances with a girl who I thought was perfect for me. Feel like ending it all. [deleted]
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self.depression
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I want to apologize I was toxic I said something in here that no one should ever say. I insulted women and I deserve to be called every name in the book. People have treated me with lots of unkindness but that's fair because in the end I acted no better. I deserve to die and maybe that’s what I will do. I’m sorry everyone for all I ever said and did.
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self.depression
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How do you deal with anxiety/panic attacks when donating blood? I really would like to donate but I tried today and had the worst panic attack I've ever had. I'm not even scared of needles!
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self.Anxiety
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😭😭😭😭😭 at the post saying that guy from linkin park raped them [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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Bipolar and Psychosis My family and I discovered I had Bipolar due to an episode of psychosis.
I was just wondering if other people have had experiences with Psychosis, once or a few times and how it effected them.
For me I thought there was a sting operation going on in my house and my family was in on it. I thought all of my friends and family were watching me live in my house and they were rooting for me to overcome the sting operation. When my family eventually realized I wasn't well they drove me to the mental hospital in the city I'm in (CAMH) and I thought everything going on in the City that I was witnessing was all part of the operation against me. I wasn't really paranoid, though I became so later on. I was sort of just playing the game that I thought was going on.
Thats a simplification of the story but I just wanted to get the ball rolling for more discussion. Thanks!
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self.bipolar
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Breaks my Heart When my mom tells me I incapable of doing something I haven’t even try...
...and then I spend the next two hours thinking about it, feeling guilty and useless.
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self.Anxiety
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Does anyone else feel incredibly alone? Okay so this probably sounds really annoying and I'm sorry...
i just don't know what's wrong with me but no matter how hard I try (and I really really try), nobody ever seems to like me and I'm awful at making friends, and I just don't understand how other people can have so many friends and have people be in love with them, and have people want to be around them. Nobody ever likes being around me. It's like I start up a conversation with someone and they just spend the rest of the class period talking to someone else, or I'll find myself wandering the hallways in free periods alone because I don't have any friends to sit with. All I want is to connect with people, like I would be friends with literally anyone (you can be a serial killer at this point and I wouldn't care), but nobody ever seems to want to be friends with me. I just want someone to talk to and joke with and to play multiplayer video games with and to fangirl with and do all the stuff you're supposed to do with friends, but I have no-one, and every time I think about it it just makes me hate myself more. I feel like I'll never find love or even friends, and I don't know how I can keep doing this if I'm so alone.... plus if I can't even find friends, how am I ever going to find someone to love me. I've never even been kissed, and I want a relationship so much, but if I like a person I'm always way to scared to say anything because they never like me back, and nobody ever likes me... I just wish I knew how some people are so good at making friends and getting people to fall in love with them, it's like they have some sort of black magic that I'll never have, and it makes me hate myself so much
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self.depression
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Check yourself From “A very brief sketch of Dabrowski’s theory of Positive Disintegration” by W. Tillier:
Suffering, aloneness, self-doubt, sadness, inner conflict; these are our feelings that we have not learned to live with, that we have failed to appreciate, that we reject as destructive and completely negative, but in fact they are symptoms of an expanding consciousness. Dr. Kazimierz Dabrowski has spent 45 years piecing together the complete picture of the growth of the human psyche from primitive integration at birth; the person with potential for development will experience growth as a loosening of the stable psychic structure accompanied by symptoms of psychoneuroses. Reality becomes multileveled, the choices between higher and lower realms of behavior occupy our thought and mark us as human. Dabrowski called this process positive disintegration, he declares that psychoneurosis is not an illness and he insists that development does not come through psychotherapy but that psychotherapy is automatic when the person is conscious of his development...
Without intense and painful introspection and reflection, development is unlikely. Psychoneurotic symptoms should be embraced and transformed into anxieties about human problems of an ever higher order. If psychoneuroses continue to be classified as mental illness, then perhaps it is a sickness better than health.
To Dabrowski, real therapy is autopsychotherapy; it is the self being aware of the self through a long inner investigation; a mapping of the inner environment. There are no techniques to eliminate symptoms because the symptoms constitute the very psychic richness from which grow an increasing awareness of body, mind, humanity and cosmos. Dabrowski gives birth to that process if he can.
Initially, people who are acting on low impulses or who are simply robotically emulating society have little self conflict. Most conflicts are external. During development, the clash between one’s actual behavior and environment and one’s imagined ideals creates a great deal of internal conflict. This conflict literally motivates the individual to resolve the situation, ideally by inhibiting those aspects he or she considers lower and by accentuating those aspects he or she considers higher. At the highest levels, there is a new harmony of thought, emotion and action that eliminates internal conflict. The individual is behaving in accord with their own personality ideal and consciously derived value structure and therefore feels no internal conflict. Often a person’s external focus shifts to ‘making the world a better place.
“Without passing through very difficult experiences and even something like psychoneurosis and neurosis we cannot understand human beings and we cannot realize our multidimensional and multilevel development toward higher and higher levels.”
– K. Dabrowski.
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self.depression
|
Feel like driving around listlessly tonight. Hopefully, I get killed by a drunk driver. If I take my own life, it's all going to be about how selfish I am and how could I do this to my family and what could I have done to help.
But if a drunk driver takes me out, then no more guilt. All of a sudden I was taken too soon and how tragic my death is.
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self.depression
|
The Bathtub I could’ve ended my life tonight... I’d been drinking a bit before and during dinner, and I decided to take a nice **hot** bath. I could feel the heat of the water in the tub and my blood boiling. I could’ve slit my wrists there and then and my life would’ve been over. But I didn’t... someone stopped me. One singular person popped into my head and stopped me from harming myself and ending my life. Let’s call him “A”. Now “A” has been a big part of my life and has recently decided not to be a part of it anymore, by choice... but for some reason he’s the one who popped into my head and stopped me. I don’t know why it was him considering the way things have been between he and I for the past 5 months, putting me through hell. He doesn’t even deserve to be the reason why I stopped.. but he is and I can’t explain it... do I tell him even though he doesn’t want to speak to me? If I should tell him how do I let him know? How do I get him to approach me?
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self.SuicideWatch
|
What to do when you hate life and don't want to do anything anymore? It's hard pretending to be fine on Christmas around family. I feel shit because I don't deserve to be here as I'm sure I'm draining the mood due to how miserable I actually look. It's strange how I feel numb but also extremely angry and upset. I really hate life. I don't want to die because I fear death but this existence is too painful. People trivialise how I feel, patronise me (saying I should be doing this and that, telling me I should be doing things better, how I'm feeling is wrong, etc) and then there's the people that are supportive but they clearly don't get it. I don't expect them to but it just annoys me. I'm in so much emotional pain and I'm tired. I doubt I'll be using any of the Christmas presents I received today because I don't care or want to. I'm close to giving them back and telling my family to sell them and get something for themselves. I don't want anything. I have an appointment with a therapist at the beginning of January and I don't want to go. Why should I? As if I can be helped at this point.... I'm beyond repairable and there's nothing I or anybody else can do now. Nobody cares and I could leave my house today and my family wouldn't give a shit. I'm done.
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self.depression
|
Anyone else take solace in the option of suicide [deleted]
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self.depression
|
So much for being a "friend" Forget having me as your "friend", I know you have other things in your life that doesnt involve me around. I know I am a weirdo/aloof in your eyes and it's considered against your own judgements so that you "can save face" from your own friends. Why invite me if you would expect these things to happen? F*ck it, too much going on in my head. Too much rage that is contained within me. I have build my trust towards you and you just ruin it - the only thing I have ever needed. Ruin for your own fun and entertainment. Maybe its just best for me to be alone, isolate myself from these mofo's, bulding back my walls again. Putain! Fills de pute!
I'm having a late night-early morning drive, hope I don't collide on an accident or anything stupid that I might actually do. I wish I can have a person to cry to, but I only have myself to cry to.
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self.depression
|
Being hospitalized has made me feel the most hopeless and depressed I've ever felt I've been hospitalized for almost 12 days now. They said I'd only be here 3 days... but that didn't happen.
I had no plan to kill myself (despite what others think even though I made it clear to them), and it's hard not to be pissed and bitter about the situation.
When my school presented the idea to me, I didn't think it was because they thought I tried to take my life... I didn't find that out until one of my friends told me that's what happened. I went because I thought I'd it would be nice to take a break and get good psychiatrist treatment and counseling for 3 days. But that's not at all what it is.
There's nothing to do. The doctor only meets with you for 10 minutes. The nurses are dispassionate and don't really seem to care. I'm so isolated from everyone else. It's confining and almost suffocating. They take notes on everything you do. If you don't smile and color then apparently you're suicidal. Nothing productive actually happens here.
I've never felt shittier or more hopeless since I've gotten here. But of course you can't say that or you'll be stuck here forever.
Now my semester's ruined and the way the school has been handling it and the comments they have made just make me feel even more worthless.
But now I know. Now I know I can't trust anyone with the fact that I have depression. They'll just make assumptions and report you. Yes, I'm depressed, but this issue could've easily been avoided if they just communicated with me. I know they meant for the best, but I don't think my friends realized the repercussions of their actions. Because I'm even worse than where I started. Maybe if they actually talked to me instead of handcuffing me without explanation I wouldn't have wasted a semester's worth of tuition.
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self.depression
|
I don't have access to a psych and I know reddit's not the place for medical advice. How do I go about getting advice for some mental effects I'm having?
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self.depression
|
I'm starting to have nightmares about a past experience So tldr, about 11 months ago I woke up in a alone in a burning building. I obviously made it out alive, but I've started having vivid dreams of that experience and often when it's time to lay down I can't stop myself from reliving it. It's really starting to affect my sleep. I haven't felt the way I do since shortly after the experience and I thought I had gotten over it.
What can I do to stop this?
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self.Anxiety
|
What's this feeling? Whenever I go out with friends to hang out instead of being a lonely person, I get this bad feeling that tells me go home don't belong here or those people don't like you. I don't know what's wrong with me I'm here sitting my ass down a beautiful Saturday afternoon typing in a depression subreddit. I've been depressed for well over 18 months with people I don't belong to. I'm an Iraqi immigrant. Just a teen who doesn't know what's good for him. People hate me for who I am. I'm sad for that.
What the hell am I doing living up here? I don't belong here.
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self.depression
|
Wasting my life? Does anyone else feel like tv and movies are your only motivation for living? I've got hulu, Amazon, Netflix, and every cable channel to pass endless hours. I feel like I should be doing more with my life but I don't really want to. I don't feel sad being alone watching tv. It's actually the only time I feel at peace. It's like a drug or something.
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self.depression
|
If discriminating by color is racism, what is discriminating a "normal" person and a depressed person ? where is the line ? [deleted]
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self.depression
|
I Don’t Care About Politics and I Feel Like I Should But It’s Not Natural To Me [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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I don't want to move. My entire family is planning on moving to a larger property in the relatively-near future. Except for me. I'm perfectly fine where we are and I see no reason to move. What should I say or do?
Idk if this is the right sub but idk where else to post it.
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self.offmychest
|
[Trigger Warning] Can anyone tell me if these are bipolar symptoms? Edit: I know most of you aren't professionals. I know I should go to a doctor to confirm whether I am or am not bipolar. Just leave a downvote and go.
First off trigger warning is to not hurt anyone because I'm worried about some of the things in this post.. I don't want to assume I am then go to a doctor. If I am it's is probably the most mild case yet.
So we all know what rage quitting is right? I happen to do this pretty often. But it feels like my rage is intense. I hit my head with closed fists. Try to choke myself. Claw my legs up. I sometimes cut but not super often.
After the intense rage I go into complete shutdown mode. I just lay in bed depressed. I'm barely able to go to the bathroom at times.
Sometimes I'll be in an irritable mood and my dad will just grind into me why. It turns into so much more like how lonely i am how my anti-depressants don't work and how my sister is so much better than me. This sounds more like a depression thing but I figured I should mention it.
Sorry for how long this is and if this is the wrong place.
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self.bipolar
|
Does anyone else's mind jump straight to the worst possible conclusion whenever anything happens? [mini vent] So context, I was sitting in my house, and this loud boom happened. It even shook the house a bit. I went outside to see if I could find the source, but I couldn't. My mind instantly went to "its the end of the world." We have had several dead limbs fall out of the trees around the house, so its very likely a small limb broke off and hit the roof shaking the house, but my mind obviously says otherwise.
This happens to me all the time. If my mom doesn't answer her phone, clearly it means she is dead, if my friends don't text me back, they all secretly hate me. I'm 24 and single, so I'm clearly going to die alone. If I hear a strange noise I can't immediately identify, then its obviously something sinister like nuclear war, or apocalypse.
How do you get relief from that. After a while I can usually calm myself down, but it lingers in the back of my mind for hours, and sometimes days, no matter what I do.
[[venting]] I used to be religious. I grew up christian, and went to church and considered myself to be fairly devout, but the anxiety started coming up, and the doomsday prophecies kept coming in, and I had no way to calm down, so I stewed in absolute misery begging for God to help me. This is where my mind started to do the worst case scenario thing. Every little noise was TORTURE to me. I was unable to function as a human for a couple of months. 2012 was the worst of it. But then December 22 rolls around and there's already a new prophecy circulating, so its a never ending struggle having this in the back of my mind, and dealing with the constant fear of every tiny little sound. Recently I have stopped thinking about anything religious altogether, and it has helped immensely, but now I wonder if I made the wrong choice and am going to hell... Its the curse of anxiety I guess.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I'm trying so hard to care about people and things but it's so hard to muster It takes so much out of me and in the end it's meaningless anyways. People don't care about me and I'll never be good at anything I do
|
self.depression
|
Recently diagnosed. Started Lamotrigine (25 mg) last night, and the side effects started within hours. Was this your experience? What should I expect going forward? **tl;dr - started on 25 mg lamotrigine last night, and within hours started experiencing restlessness, insomnia, irritability, racing/fleeting thoughts, etc. Is this normal at such a low dose? What should I expect going forward?**
I've been lurking for a little over a month now, and have recently been diagnosed with BP I by two independent mental health specialists. PDOC started me on lamotrigine (talked her out of the antipsychotic for the time being), and within hours, I noticed significant changes in behavior, including extreme restlessness (can't sit still for my life), insomnia, fleeting thoughts/distractability, and irritability. This is concerning to me as I am in grad school, it's the end of the semester, and I have already had to put a lot of responsibilities on hold throughout this diagnostic process.
My question is, is this a common experience on day ONE of such a low dose? What should I expect going forward? If this is something that I am going to experience every time I titrate up, how am I supposed to function in grad school?
|
self.bipolar
|
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