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People are mad at me because I hate myself lmaoooo [deleted]
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self.offmychest
|
I originally made this account to hide my true feelings. I fought it for a while. I tried trolling others who suffer it because I don’t want it to be true for me. I am so sad. I am just lying here in my bathroom trying to fight it, but I really am sad. I am trying to figure out a way out of it with drugs, alcohol because I already exhausted other means, but it doesn’t work. It never has and I knew it wouldn’t. I won’t say, “Tonight I am killing myself” because I know damn well I will wake up tomorrow morning and go to work and pretend nothing is wrong because deep down I have a 50/50 chance my life will change. I wont seek attention other than this: yes I am seeking attention because I know deep down no one on here truly cares because you don’t know me. It’s not your fault. I am seeker g attention because I have exhausted all other forms of communication calling the hotlines and I can’t confide in anyone because I risk losing my job. I just want to voice my feelings because I feel like if I don’t I will like explode or something. I am just sad. A sadness so deep it just debilitates me. I want to end and yet I don’t. I feel like it’s not right and I should just wait and see if anything positive happens. But I have been saying the same thing to myself for years now. I still don’t feel any different, just more poised for a quick removal. I wish it was that easy. I don’t want friends. I don’t want to be close to family. I just want to be ended. I want to lie in a beach somewhere and have my lifeless body carried out to sea and everyone to eventually wonder “I guess he ran off to Mexico. Good for him .” This is neither here nor there. I don’t know. No, I don’t need comments because I am not killing myself.m tonight or tomorrow. I am sure other OPs need more help than I and these feelings are invalidated. Fuck me. Justnyou jnow what?!fuck me! I am so stupid. Like just the worst stupid dude ever. I don’t deserve shit. Let this be testament to my pathetic-ness.
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self.depression
|
I just tried to suicide 2 hours ago i took some pills, and then locked myself in the bathroom with a knife, the knife wasnt sharp so i couldnt even cut my wrist (and i was planning to slit my throat), after trying like 4 times cutting myself i said fuck it and proceed to vomit the pills too, lol so pathetic
sorry for my english tho
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I'm jealous of a co-worker that's making better progress in the gym than I. I'll try to keep this short.
After a lot of work I got a co-worker to join me in the gym. Even better, he took to it like a fish to water.
In fact, I'm ashamed to say that he took to it "too well". He's about 10 years older than I and quite fat. But his numbers have just flown by mine.
He's been strength training for probably less than a year and he's gotten his squat up to 110 kg for 5 sets of 5 reps. I've been struggling for years to get my squat up to 100 kg for 1 rep. His deadlift is similarly impressive.
His upper body is somewhat weaker than mine, but he's catching up fast.
On the one hand, I'm happy for him. He's found something that he enjoys doing, and that improves his health both physically and mentally.
On the other hand, I can't help but feel disheartened that a fat man a decade my senior is murdering me in the gym. My only consolation is that I'm, from an aesthetic perspective, in better shape.
Man, I feel bad for being jealous.
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self.offmychest
|
My Advice to Women If you hate your husband, tell him straight you want him out. There is no need for mind games, passive-aggressiveness or spite. Have a little respect for another human being. Just a little. We’re all here for such a short time and tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone.
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self.depression
|
Greed is killing the poor, but we see enemies in each other instead I believe that the single most useful thing the rich ever did for themselves is brainwashing people into seeing boogeymen where there are none. There's no understanding, no compassion, no mutual recognition of each person's humanity. The plan is to divide and conquer and racism/nationalism is step one.
The uber rich are stealing billions from us, taking our taxes and funneling into projects that destroy our planet, our way of life, and our children and grandchildren's futures. What do we do as a response? Laugh *and feel joy* at the misfortunes of those who cannot afford decent medical care, who cannot afford a home, those who have been fucked for generations and are seeing their kids fall in the school-to-prison pipeline. We forgive exploitation of children, of the elderly, of our troops... all so we can say "x political party will be fucked in x election! MAGA!"
We funnel millions and billions into the bank accounts of rich people who *can't even spend it all* instead of fixing the economic inequalities we've sowed. Wages are stagnant, but the CEOs get richer every year. Homelessness is on the rise, but socialism is still a dirty word. How long will we think of ourselves as temporarily embarrassed billionaires? When will we realized we're being exploited?
How is this system fair when working people are the ones slaving away their asses off producing goods and services? How is it fair that giant multi-international companies can lay off thousands to hundreds of thousands of people and extort the poverty stricken in other countries? Why do we allow the rich to trick us into fighting each other? Why is it easier for us to write this off as "human nature" instead of holding the greedy, anti-social among us responsible? A thief is a thief even if he's wearing a three piece suit. Meanwhile a poor person who jay walks will see more time in a correctional facility than any lying banker or politician.
For what? We all belong to the human race. This is unacceptable. We claim to be a morally upright, religious people... and yet we worship the marketplace and hate anti-corporatism. Meanwhile a free market is an illusion when companies aren't even held to a standard required by the free market: that information be freely available to consumers. Lobbyists fight *tooth and nail* to deceive consumers, not give them the full story, and give them an illusion of choice. Predatory practices are the NORM. And yet we fight each other due to completely inane shit like how much melanin we have, what hair texture we have, what plot of land were we born in, what accent do we carry, what benign beliefs we hold... it's all so fucking petty.
I wish we held greedy dictators of money responsible for the destruction of our planet and our communities. We won't because we want to be like them. It's the most pathetic and sad thing I can think of.
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self.offmychest
|
Nooo My life ends soon, I've always been sure of it, I even had a dream of it last night.
It is.
I can't talk about why.
I KEEP SAYING IM VERY DEPRESSED ABOUT SOMETHING AND I RLY WANT TO talk to someone about it in private.
..
MY MOM IS COUGHING!!
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELP!!!
SHE REALLY IS COUGHING
SHE REALLY IS
SHE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO WHY DO MY THreads get downvoted ;-;
I THINK MY LIFE IS GOING TO END LIKE TOMARROW
I KEEP POSTING ON REDDIT AND PPL DOWNVOTE MY THREADS
https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/comments/7kawp8/heelp/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/7jvytg/my_mom_keeps_coughing/
https://www.reddit.com/r/gamedev/comments/7j8exs/putting_a_chatbotinteractive_story_on_steam/
HOLY WTEJOITIEOWJIO MY MOM WILL NOT STOP COUGHING
WHY ARE MY THREADS DOWNVOTED ;-;
I'm in a bad place!!!
I CANT THINK MY MOM KEEPS COUGHING AND ITS MAKING BAD STUFF HAPPEN AND WHEN I POST HERE PPL DOWNVOTE MY THREADS ;-;
WHY CANT I BE LIKED
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AND ITS TOO DARK IN HERE AND THIS CHAIR KEEPS MAKING NOISES AND STUFF
LITERALLY NOW THERES RAINBOW DOTS SPINING AROUND IN MY EYES THAT HAPPENS WHEN IM REALLY STRESSED OUT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
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self.Anxiety
|
I just walked off my plane that was about to take off.. We were a few minutes from pushing back from the gate and I suddenly had all kinds of horrible thoughts and just grabbed my stuff and walked off the plane (along with my traveling partner). :(
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self.Anxiety
|
Missing SSRI for a week? Is this bad? I'm at family for the holidays and I left my celexa at home. So it'll probably be a week or so before I can get it again. Can I go that long without it or should I try to get a holdover?
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self.Anxiety
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Anti Anxiety At the Desk Anyone have any tricks up there sleeves for when they are at work and start to feel a little anxious at the desk.
My favorite is that I go to typeracer.com and run 5 or 6 typewriter races. I find that this is just about the only activity that I can do at my desk that will get my adrenaline racing while also taking my mind off of things.
Hard to explain but when I'm on typeracer and jamming, the keys really flowing than I get a shot of endorphin.
Added Bonus is that I'm in a corner spot, with no one behind me so it gives the appearance of extreme activity at my desk. Also if I do it in the morning for the rest of my day my typing is much faster when I go about my work.
Since the beginning of the year I've learned Colemak and am up to 52 WPM (Honest Playing). Considering that Small business journal says the average typing speed in the business world is 38wpm -40wpm, I feel good about that speed. Once you hit that 38-40 it's really tough to get to the next level.
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self.Anxiety
|
Anxiety over feeling left out Maybe it’s just a bad case of the Mondays, but I’m really feeling bad over feeling left out of social interactions lately. I feel pretty down today, and I’m not sure how to approach this: if it’s a sign to pull away and continue “doing my own thing” and working on myself, or reach out to people more despite feelings that I’ll annoy them or seem needy.
I recently moved to a new state. My family back home has recently gotten together and it seems like they are having a great time but I can’t make it out until the holidays. I feel like my attempts to try and be included are met with little enthusiasm (probably bc I’m not being enthusiastic myself).
Then, I work for a remote company and some days I just feel left out of that too. It’s hard since the people have known each other for a long time.
My adult mind says that acting maturely and professionally is the most important thing. So I try to be both cordial and professional in my interactions, but people may think I’m cold and aloof. It’s hard bc I go to therapy for what used to be pretty overt “people pleasing” tendencies and it’s hard to determine what’s ok or appropriate anymore.
It wasn’t always this bad. It feels like my brain doesn’t work as well as it used to. I feel sluggish and unable to think of the right things to say lately.
It is still up to me, since I’m the only one who can “get out there” and try to improve this situation. Sigh.
Maybe going to the gym or getting outside, even just for a walk in the park, might be good places to start.
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self.Anxiety
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Does anyone else feel like they can't be loved romantically? Advice? [deleted]
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self.offmychest
|
I am throwing a surprise birthday party for my best friend who has been very vocal about wanting a surprise birthday party. I had everything in line, until one of her friends told her, “you are getting a surprise birthday.” I’m so upset when my husband told me. We had everything planned. How we were going to get her there. The theme, food, drinks, and music. I am so pissed off and upset I want to cry. Doesn’t help that I don’t care for her much anyways. 🤬
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self.offmychest
|
I feel like I can’t do this on my own anymore 😔💔 Well… It’s kinda hard writing this, with my anxiety getting in my way and all that; but I think it might be a good idea to at least try:
I like to think I can do everything by myself, and that I’m more than capable of dealing with anything and stuff. Actually, I would love having support, and help, and not being so lonely; but unfortunately enough, I am: I’ve felt unwanted and unloved by pretty much everybody my whole life, and I’ve just had to learn to “live” with it. I feel broken in a thousand pieces on the inside, and I can’t seem to do anything right; but I’m still the only one who believes in me, and I wouldn’t wanna give up on myself. I coulda just stopped trying at all, or even killed myself already or something; but I haven’t and I’m so tired of it all. I really do feel like I need some help or something… as this is quickly getting out of my hands.
The “whole” story’s too long to write here, so I’ll try to focus on the latest developments. I’ve been struggling for way too long, but it’s only getting worse every day; I feel like I might collapse for good, rather sooner than later. The inside of my head is a constant and never-ending nightmare, mixed with a whirlwind of both terrifying and paralyzing thoughts that torture me without any mercy (the stopping of which, only results in fatigue and frustration); I am afraid of literally everything, and way more than a little. More often than not, I feel so overwhelmed with stress that I get dizzy and all kinds of unpleasant symptoms; and I can barely sleep or eat at all, while rapidly descending into what may feel like madness or something.
I do not feel it all the time, but I am completely shattered on the inside; carrying a pain too big and harrowing to even consider letting it out. I think I’ve always felt hurt; but life has just kept beating me down, time and time again, and I’ve had to experience some extremely heart-breaking situations. And by life, I probably mean the people in it. I had an intensely “tough” relationship with whom was my best friend until just a couple of months ago, for quite some time, and it’s taken a devastating toll on me in a lot of ways. I loved her with all my heart, and I gave her my all; yet it was never enough for her and she just kept finding ways to break my heart even more.
Long story short: she told me not long ago that she wanted to stop talking, and not have anything else to do with me anymore; after talking almost every day for almost five years, by the way. I can’t explain how important and special she was to me, right now, or the specific events that led to such outcome; but I felt completely and utterly broken. Even by my standards that was too much; I cried quite a bit, and I felt destroyed and crushed on the inside (even a little empty). I wanted to call a friend, and get some love, and support and whatnot: but I remembered I had no one to talk to. I even felt like giving up on everything, doing nothing and just staying in bed all day; but instead, I decided to suck it all up, and to just try to keep going while pushing myself to the limit (which has been destroying me in a different, yet not much healthier way). Because I promised not to ever give up; because broken, I am completely useless…
Inside, I am broken and shattered in more pieces than I could count; so I’ve been covering all that pain and stuff with stress, with goals, and dreams and passion. Even with anger and resentment, among other things; I hate her so much I want revenge or something, and it consumes me sometimes (but I will never forgive her). I hate people in general as well, since they’ve done nothing but hurt me, and no one has really cared about me or stayed by my side; though I also hate myself for being such a failure and never enough for anybody. I’ve gotten addicted to studying and overexerting myself about anything; I just can’t seem to stop. I can’t stop doing things or I’ll start to get desperate, and I might fear facing my inner pain and feeling my wounds. Basically, I’m just pure pain buried under tons of stress and the like.
And I’ve tried to let it out —I even miss crying and all that, but I’m just terrified. In a big part, because it’s just too much to handle; I’ve been losing control over it a couple of times lately, and it feels like I’m gonna die or something. When sadness and pain get ahold of me, I get extremely dizzy, lightheaded and even empty or something (not in the usual way); I get more than just weak, my body feels like it’s literally going to shatter, and I feel l’m gonna pass out or worse. So I try to hold it in for fear of not surviving it, and to stop the horrifying sensations as well; I’m only able to let out so much, but it’s hard and scary. And I know letting it build up doesn’t sound any better; but it’s just the only way I have right now to at least get through the day, you know?
Today was yet worse: I woke up to anxiety, and fear, and thought stopping and whatnot. I could cry a little; but had to stop because my heart skipped many beats, which made me extremely scared. I also got a little of the previously described symptoms; I think my blood pressure may go down when overwhelmed by pain and sadness; but who knows, really. So here I am: stressed out and tense, anxious and afraid, and sick and tired of it all; thinking a little about how messed up my life, and I, got (and how bad what happened with my ex best friend really affected me).
This is too short to even be considered a summary, and it certainly feels like an oversimplification of what I’m currently feeling and going through; but trust me, it’s way more complex and complicated than it sounds. I could just be like “fuck everything”, and try to relax, and even cry and all that; but pain and emptiness, along with that awful fainting feeling might and will probably return. And I’d rather feel stressed out and anxious than feeling anything similar to that.
I’m actually starting to hesitate about posting this, but I’ll try to be brave and do it anyway. Though please, no cliché advice nor typical aphorisms and the like, if anyone’s planning to reply to this (not that you have to). I know all of them and then some, and I don’t need wisdom nor psychological pieces of advice; I just need love and support 😔 I wish I had a friend I could lean on/talk to, or even a girlfriend would be very nice. I’m 20 and I’ve never had many friends (if at all) nor a single girlfriend so far, and I barely know what being loved and receiving love feels like; it just hurts like crazy the lack of it… And no psychologist nor shrink could ever help with that. By the way, I used to take meds years ago and I never wanted to come back to that again; I wouldn’t really wanna go to a psychologist, either, for a variety of reasons…
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self.Anxiety
|
entouré par la mort... pour résumer mes 3 dernière année, mon grand père est décédé chez moi, ma grand mère est en fin de vie, mon cousin à essayer de ce suicidé, ma tante a essayer de ce suicidé et un ami à essayer de ce suicidé, ma mère à eu plusieurs accident qui l'on obligé à ce faire opérer pour ces vertèbre, elle vas devoir ce faire opérer pour son dos, elle a le cancer et à du ce faire opérer pour ça aussi, mon père à fait un burn out et travail loing donc ne reviens que le weekend quand il ne travail pas, il est plus comme un client qui vient à l'hôtel quand il rentre, mes parents vont sûrement divorce d'ici peut de temps, de ce fait la maison sera vendue et donc je déménagerai, ne verrais plus un amis très proches, ainsi que d'autres problème qui m'épuise et me prennent toute mes pensé quand je n'aide pas ma mère pour s'occuper de la maison et des animaux.
je ne pense pas pouvoir continuer très longtemps si tout cela continue comme c'est parti depuis ces 3 ans...
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self.SuicideWatch
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Horrid side effects from Latuda continuing months after stopping. Howdy, I started taking Latuda a few months back. Took it but I had horrid side effects, some kind of anxiety feeling where I felt like I had to move and then when I moved I felt nausea. It has been a few months since I stopped taking it, the reaction was definitely to the drug but I'm still having it.
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self.bipolar
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I'm tired of being the only one to maintain my friendship with my best friend. [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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Will I ever find a job that I won’t quit? [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
|
No 17 year old should live like this. No 17 year old should have this kind of pain.
No 17 year old should be this lonely.
No 17 year old should be so ready to die.
No 17 year old should stop caring about what the future holds.
No 17 year old should have to live without a true family.
No 17 year old should attempt suicide multiple times.
No 17 year old should put a gun in their mouth and pull the trigger.
No 17 year old should be cutting themselves a 100 times in a day.
No 17 year old should be cut off from the world for days on end.
No 17 year old should rely so heavily on alcohol and drugs to just survive.
No 17 year old should be so self destructive that they don't even look before crossing the road.
I thought teenage years were about having fun. About exploring myself. This is all a big scam. My life is never going to amount to something fulfilling, it only gets worse as the time goes on.
I think I'm gonna try hanging myself again.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Making bad decisions I felt a migraine coming on. And had shit I wanted to get done when I got home from work. Yet what did I do?? Had a few beers, despite the fact that I know I get more depressed when I have alcohol and I don't even like beer and it definitely made my headache worse. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
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self.depression
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Christmas anxiety Anyone else get anxious about Christmas. For me it’s really the gifts, I freak out cause Christmas is so close I don’t have much money and I still have quite a few gifts to buy. Idk it sorta stresses me out to think about everything I still have to do, with Christmas just around the corner. That in turn sorta activates my anxiety.
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self.Anxiety
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i’m so tense! when i’m sitting i’ll literally have to push my shoulders back down because they come up to my neck subconsciously, and i yawn all the time because my jaw is clenched and i’m not breathing properly. i wish i could relax
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self.Anxiety
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I don't feel sad. I'm just so unproductive to the point that my life is falling apart. I have so many things I need to do but all I want to is lie in my bed, eat and browse the internet. I procrastinate everything, including things that I enjoy or that improve my quality of life. I procrastinate brushing my teeth, showering, getting dressed, keeping my room clean, homework and anything that requires any kind of mental effort. Even though I do want to do these things, it seems like I don't want to do them enough to actually do them.
I'm incredibly behind on school work and I have mock exams at the end of January. I enjoy my subjects but I can't bring myself to study. It's not like I don't feel happy after I achieve things (I do! I feel accomplished), I just can't bring myself to start or keep working at things.
I don't know how to deal with this. I think it's some kind of mild apathy or anxiety about being productive? I'm already on meds and doing therapy but this aspect of my depression isn't changing.
My medication has helped me a huge amount and I've improved so much. The only thing left to fix is my massive lack of motivation and procrastination but I'm not sure where to start.
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self.depression
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I’m tired of the media splitting this country in half. I’m 19M and am a right-centralist. I’m tired of the media splitting the country into two with fake news on both sides. I’m extremely concerned it won’t get any better any time soon.
I’m also tired of people on BOTH sides being so fucking mean to each other like fuck. What does that accomplish? We are all American here let’s fucking act like it.
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self.offmychest
|
How often do you see your therapist? Since around October I've been seeing my therapist twice a week, every week except a few.
Sometimes I feel like it's too much, but I also feel like I'm getting significant benefits from it.
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self.bipolar
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gabapentin to taper down from klonopin My anxiety has been incredibly high lately due to starting a new--and very stressful-- job, money issues, and other stuff. As always seems to be the case for me, with whatever psychiatrist I'm with (and it's been four since my bipolar diagnosis) the answer has been to increase my klonopin.
I don't argue with this because I'm usually overwhelmed by anxiety to the point where I just cannot function. Lately I have been on the verge of quitting my job due to the anxiety, which feels like daily, slow-motion panic attacks. I've started on .25 klonopin per day for anxiety disorder around ten years ago. Since then, I've been up and down in different increments over the years. Right now, due to the current situation, I'm taking 1.5 per day. (Which I guess doesn't sound like a lot, but it's more than I want to be on for the long term.)
I don't want to keep taking this drug on a daily basis. This week my pdoc recommended that I consider gabapentin. I've been reading about it and I think it sounds like a possibility. I like that it's not an AP, that it's been around for a while, and that it also addresses pain. (I have chronic pain, but I haven't seen a doctor about it in years because the anxiety and depression has always been my priority.)
I also take Wellbutrin 450mg per day. I've talked to my pdoc about going down on the dosage because I know that Wellbutrin is supposed to increase anxiety, but it took this dosage to really shake my depression, so he says he doesn't want to mess with it, and I am inclined to agree.
I've been on klonopin for a long, long time, so I know I am in for a long taper. I really want to get off of it, though, but I'm dead-set on not taking APs because I'm terrified of the long-term side effects.
Any suggestions/thoughts on using gabapentin for a long-term klonopin taper? Or experiences with gabapentin in general?
Thanks for any feedback!
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self.bipolar
|
Don't want to live, but don't want to die either. [deleted]
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self.depression
|
Anyone else with health anxiety? Or keep ending up in the ER with panic attacks? [deleted]
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self.bipolar
|
Am i just an asshole? I’m starting to wonder if my bp2 is what makes me both want to leave and stay in my relationship at the same time... i constantly feel like i want 2 totally different things at once... and i end up ruining things because of it.
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self.bipolar
|
Social media and anxiety? Do any of you stay off social media because it seems to help your anxiety ? I’ve been off FB and IG for two weeks and my mind feels more calm and focused.
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self.Anxiety
|
Sometimes our anxiety is Legitimate Does anyone have a hard time trusting their gut instinct because they don't know if it's their anxiety acting up again or if this is a real thing to have anxiety about and totally normal to be anxious about?
It happened to me yesterday. I was going to meet a talent agency and I was very nervous and had worries like what if this is a scam and stuff like that and if I should not go. But I kept going and I met the guy and I saw red flags everywhere. I made a rule to myself to not give them any money because no real talent agency will ask for money, they only get the percentage you make, you pay them nothing. You only pay them when you get work and they get 20% percent. I have done my homework.
But I walked out of there and did homework again by doing research and found out this agency is a scam because I saw three bad reviews about it and I googled his name and typed in "talent recruiter" and i found some rip off reports about him and couple of them said he was a predator and I found out he had used different names for his agency and then changes the name to a new name and he moved several locations in the city. I also had it confirmed on here that place was a scam as I thought. Scams are things I always worry about so I like to be educated on scams so I know the red flags and not be a victim of one.
Sometimes our anxiety is real and it's normal anxiety, not us having abnormal anxiety and not the disorder.
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self.Anxiety
|
I wish my friends and family would stop caring so I can kill myself with no consequences
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self.depression
|
Hanging out with my friend triggered a depressive episode Well, this is a first. Usually spending time with my friends is a good way to pull me out of my depressive states. But last night my friend just didn’t shut up about how good his life is right now. He’s getting a free ride though college thanks to his parents who also are going to be paying his rent the entire time he’s there. He doesn’t have to work or do anything but play video games and go to his one class a day college.
That shit had me fuming. I’m up to my eyeballs in debt thanks to college (I didn’t even finish), my wife busts her ass off for a tiny little apartment and I can’t do shit because I’m too depressed to hold a job longer than three fucking months.
Tomorrow’s my birthday and I feel like I have nothing going for me personally. Everyone else I know is able to work hard and reap the rewards. Me? I just get more depressed as time goes on. I mean, fuck. I’m going to be 30 next year and I haven’t done shit with my life.
I feel like I’m wasting away.
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self.bipolar
|
I can't help but hate myself for the things other people have done to me. Is it possible for a person to simply have no worth? [deleted]
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self.depression
|
Electroconvulsive Therapy? Has anyone tried electroshock therapy? Thoughts. I'm getting desperate about beating this depression.
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self.bipolar
|
Side Effects, Anxiety, Or Tics? Recently, I had my Seroquel increased to 100mg. I've noticed that i have these weird muscle movements. Its not all the time, but sometimes in class, I just get the urge to move. I just have to move somehow. Sometimes i just move my legs frantically underneath my desk, or tense them up. Sometimes its like a whole body thing, like I shiver as if I were cold. I'm not sure if this is related but i often move my legs whether its tapping or banging my knees together, although it doesn't feel the same. I have a history of some milder simple tics that get worse with anxiety. So I can't tell if my sometimes spontaneous urges to move is from my tics, compulsive behavior due to anxiety, or a side effect. It's really hard to tell because its not all the time, but also not exclusive to when im anxious (aka not necessarily a nervous tic). If anyone has felt this before and or knows the cause of it, I'd greatly appreciate some feedback. I've already told my therapist/psychiatrist, but sometimes its getting a little disruptive in class. Thank you all.
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self.bipolar
|
Just failed my first year in Uni due to not going to enough classes because I was depressed. Today I'll tell my parents, but how do I tell them? [deleted]
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self.depression
|
Gun range policies may have just saved my life I called up a bunch of gun ranges yesterday to go shooting.
They all had a policy to call someone close to me as a reference to vouch for my state of mind since I would be coming in alone and didn't own a gun.
Any of my friends or family would be confident in endorsing me.
I don't think I would have done it, because I wouldn't want to ruin anyone's visit to the range... But I know for sure that I couldn't put that liability on anyone.
Today, I just feel empty and defeated, but I am alive.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Do you ever feel like you're dreaming? Do you ever feel like you're dreaming? Like everything that happens is the same as if it didn't?
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self.depression
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I either have too high expectations of life or my life is as shit as I really think [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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Work Christmas night out last night, got far too drunk accidentally. Don’t want to go in tomorrow. I don’t drink often, so when I do drink a lot it hits me all at once. My glass was constantly topped up and I accidentally got very drunk. It was the first xmas party in this new place. I didn’t insult anyone or try and make out with anyone or stuff. But I can’t remember getting home. I’m so embarrassed, how do I handle it tomorrow? Laugh it off? I’m thinking it’ll blow over pretty quickly; everyone else was drunk too.
Also I feel terrible today and want to run away - awful emotional hangover.
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self.depression
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A list of all the little and big things adding up in my brain right now that make me want to kill myself [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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Too painful already... I just want to die. I want to disappear. I can't take this anymore. Too much pain. Too much anxiety. I even fail to be a failure sometimes. The reason why I can't do it yet is that I am not courageous enough. I really hope one day, just for a day, I'll finally stop being a coward and just do it.
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self.depression
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What do I do now? I feel so indifferent to everything nowadays. Being apathetic is like a normal thing to me, but I know it's not normal. Apathy is like passive suicide - I feel dead inside, and I don't have money to go to therapy to get the emotional counseling I need. Since I'm so sheltered, I live through the same schedule everyday, I'm not allowed to go out because "it's dangerous", and I can't get the alone time I need because my parents are always looking over my shoulder to see what I'm doing. The majority of my social and emotional necessities are constantly denied, and the things that I want are constantly denied. I've been rejected and disappointed so many times, it's come to the point when something good actually happens to me, I struggle to feel strong emotions or I will feel sorta-good for like 25 seconds. I hate to let people think I'm ungrateful but I find it hard to explain (why I am the way I am) my apathy because it's simply a string of trauma that has to be told all the way or they won't understand. I'm open to tell but nobody gives me the time of day because they don't care. I've never thought of suicide ever in my life because I know how that will hurt everyone, but I don't know what to do, I feel so trapped.
Thanks for giving me a platform where people will get it.
-ApatheticRacoon
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self.depression
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Everything is so heavy Its 5:57am i have been up all night. My stomach hurts my head hurts im wrapped in blanket but still feel so cold. I dont want to do this anymore. Everything is so heavy why is it so heavy.
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self.depression
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I'm manic and afraid to tell my SO Fuck, this happened last November too
Racing thoughts, vivid weird lucid dreams when I'm sleeping, I think I could be a stand up comedian or singer or something, I feel exactly like I just snorted five quality lines of coke in quick succession.
I just got in a new relationship--a month ago? And he's bipolar also. I don't think "I'm manic" will scare him, it's what I've DONE when manic.
Now I literally just got out of an outpatient program a few weeks ago. I know how to manage my urges much better than I used to. But last November I was dating a different guy, let's call him J. I cheated on J (the only time I've ever cheated on anyone) with a guy I'd become obsessed with--while manic. My current SO knows about this. I said I'd never do it to him, and I really mean to never ever cheat again. I'm afraid he's going to be terrified I'll fuck him over (especially when he's been cheated on multiple times).
I'm seeing my therapist in ten minutes (in the lot having a smoke now) but how tf do I bring this up to my boyfriend?
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self.bipolar
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Anybody else feel like this? You feel like there's a lump in your throat when you are about to experience an attack.
I felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen too.
My counselor gave me some breathing exercises which help.
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self.Anxiety
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Been off zoloft for 3 months. worth it to restart? what kind of timescale for effects? [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
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I just found out I can't afford treatment I'm suicidal and have severe depression and social anxiety according to my therapist, who tried to transfer me over to somewhere that can prescribe medication. However, they charge $200 per hour, which is way out of my price range. That was supposed to be my cheap option. I don't qualify for reduced pricing or anything like that because my mom, who I live with who pays for some of my expenses, makes too much to qualify for anything, even though how much she makes in an 80-hour work week still isn't enough to pay the bills.
I can't afford the treatment I need unless I want to put my mom into thousands and thousands of dollars of debt. I'm completely hopeless. I'm pretty sure I'm doomed to kill myself.
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self.SuicideWatch
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I’m sorry I couldn’t be the son you hoped for I’m sorry that I’m a complete fucking failure. Sorry that I couldnt achieve anything in my useless existence. Maybe one day you will fucking realise that I have been trying my best but it is never enough. I didn’t turn out the way you wanted so this is my goodbye. I have 10,000mg of quetiapine in front of me and I’m going to pop them all and find some peace tonight
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self.SuicideWatch
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So sorry my anger issues caused me to sleep in the gutter [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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Has Anyone ever experienced hallucinations from anxiety? Ever since my anxiety has worsened, I've noticed that I get audio hallucinations, along with smell hallucinations(?).
Last week I had an appointment with my professor at his office hour. I was on-time to my appointment but I assumed he was still with a student. I sat outside his office. I waited in front of his office... for 85 minutes. Because I heard him talking to a student. Like I didn't even question it at all. But then a student from my class walks by me and says "yeah he didn't come today!!!" Unbelievable. Side note: this isn't an audio hallucination, but the other day I was at a restaurant and I forgot exactly how, but I was convinced the bathroom was occupied. I stood outside for 10+ minutes. It wasn't occupied. idk what my problem is here with not checking lol.
Another audio hallucination example: I'm a singer , but I'm very insecure about my voice because I had a decade-long haitus. I'm pretty sure my bathroom is, like, soundproof... but when I'm singing in the shower, I'll hear sounds and my brain will register it as people slamming their doors or banging the wall; one time I even thought I heard someone yell "SHUT UP!!" but I wasn't even singing loudly (if I ever have the courage to sing as loud as I can, it's only for MAAAAYBE 5 seconds), and again, pretty sure the bathroom is soundproof (I never hear a peep out of my neighbors. If a party is going on outside, and I go to my bathroom, I don't hear anything. etc. etc.). I will also constantly think I'm hearing my mom shout "(MY NAME)!!!!!!" from outside my bedroom door when I'm singing. But... when that happens, she's not home lol.
I'm also CONSTANTLY worried about how I smell. It's not uncommon for me to imagine some smell that's coming from me and then I go to the bathroom and realize that I smell great and there's no nasty odors that I'm emitting. A coworker even casually told me once that "yeah we were actually talking about you and how you're like the only guy who never smells."
I worry myself :(
Anyone else experience stuff like this?
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self.Anxiety
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Depression's not going to kill me. The stigma is. I am so fucking sick and tired of neurotypical people. Fuck em. All of em. No one understands. I am fucking SICK. And I am DOING MY FUCKING BEST. And I'm aware that it's not good enough. But it's all I can do. I'm not lazy. I am depressed. I deal with suicidal ideation more days than not. I want to fucking die. But I refuse to kill myself. Because I am stronger than they'll ever be. Yes I'm unemployed. YOU try working a shitty restuarant job with voices in your head telling you to hang yourself. I can't do it. I just can't. The mental anguish is too much. And my parents just don't get it. They won't give me shit. I am sick as fuck and instead of sympathy I get critisicm. I swear to god, I would trade bipolar and borderline for terminal cancer in a heartbeat. I really would. Maybe then people would be nice to me. You don't have to cut me down. Believe me, I hate myself already more than you could ever know. Every day I stay alive is a victory because I DO NOT WANT TO BE ON THIS EARTH and I'm starting to not see a point. Before you tell me to go to the hospital, I already did. A month ago I went inpatient for 3 days. In that short time I was evicted from my sober living for "disruptive behavior" (ie being suicidal, I was never violent or anything, quite the opposite actually), my job (the best job I've ever had) hired 2 new people in my place, and I lost pretty much everyone. I can't go inpatient. I'll come out with nowhere to go. Fuck this shit. People have no idea what kind of hell I live through ever single day.
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self.bipolar
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Notice me, for once.. Please, I'm so lonely. I just want to share something 02:00 AM. January 2.
One year ago. At this moment, I committed suicide. I cut my wrists, arms, veins on joints both vertically and horizontally. Blood bath. Over 80 stitches.
Exactly one year ago.
Now, I'm looking at myself. Nothing has changed. I might be one of the mentally worst person here. Still.
Edit: I just went away for something, when I got back :) :) Thank you all
Edit2: Wow :) People of reddit, you are awesome. Thank you all for everything :)
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self.depression
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Hello guys. Need some help with my younger brother, encouraged him to open up.. He's 20 living in London "It's not money nor girls.. I haven't feeling like myself lately. I'm always overthinking, stressed and tired and nothing has made me genuinely happy for some time now. I feel bad everytime I miss out a family gathering or any events. I'm also always sad and angry at myself for being me and I just wish for it all to stop.. I've been having unhealthy thoughts and habits and I can't seem to stop it.. it is driving me insane that I can't improve myself even though I want to. I feel lost and out of place with family, work and friends. I'm usually alone in my room when everyone else's gone to work or somewhere. I can't talk to mum or dad about this because I am afraid of what they'll think of me, what they'll say to me and what they'll do.. I think I'm depressed too. I've been having panic attacks at work where I would cough until I threw up, I'm constantly feeling sick and out of breath.. I find myself not caring about anything anymore and just look into the mirror with lifeless eyes and just wish I could end it.. I want to change this mindset and be positive once again but unfortunately I don't see myself being like that in the future.
Sorry I just dumped all of this on you bro. I appreciate your concern. It's just been hard for me lately 😪"
Ive messaged him and talked to him.. I want to make sure he wont let go and shit. I live in leeds and its hard to look after him :(
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self.SuicideWatch
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Pain and suicide I have an autoimmune disorder, spinal deformity, adhd, anxiety, and chronic depression. It’s a party
I also am blessed with a sparkling personality, which I use to hide all my ailments.
I am in constant physical, emotional, and psychological agony and it’s only getting worse as I get older.
I understand that suicide is maybe not the most responsible choice, but god damn. I am tired.
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self.SuicideWatch
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If the suicide prevention lifeline had a texting option, I'd be much more open to using it. [deleted]
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self.depression
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mood swings are a bitch. I fucked up. i've longed for love my whole life, i had it months ago. I was blind and i told her off. She hates me with a passion now. I can almost remember the time she "I used to love with every last breath, i had but now i can't even stand you" That was what really threw me off into feeling alone. one of my homies before this was depressed about the girl he loved but couldn't get. That really made me feel his pain. I was too blind to realize it was true love coming from her, which i wanted. She even had her heart broken and gave it back to me. i was blind. She was sad about me, she got better and probably found someone else by the time. i realized i fucked up. She even told me wanted to date my cousin who i live with as a lie to break up with me. She lied about losing her virginity with another guy. Now I feel empty and i feel like thats the only thing that was keeping me happy. my grades aren't good as they used to be. every time i see a couple, i cry inside. I spent all my money on useless shit. I just wish, everyone could be humble and love one another, but we as humans are too evil for that. I FEEL LIKE A MISTAKE. WHAT DO I DO?
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self.depression
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Doing well, a lot going for me, but all I have is constant downs [removed]
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self.depression
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I want to be held. I need a hug so badly [deleted]
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self.depression
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still induced apathy Hey everyone. I was on SSRIs for years, for severe anxiety and depression
Aprox. 3 years after stopping my medications, and recovering from GAD and depression, I'm still apathetic.
Has anyone had this for a long period of time like me, and came out the other side? Does anyone know what medications I could take to get better?
So upsetting to spend years sick, and to only get better and realise youre apathetic :(
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self.Anxiety
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Hate everyone? I have no patience for anything/anyone anymore, everything is so mundane and dark. I have no interest in talking to anyone unless I have too. I understand I’m a washed up piece of trash. I dread waking up because I’ll just go work my ass off all day then go back home and sleep like I don’t exist. No one seems to understand or have any interest in how I’m doing. God this sucks, why the hell can’t I be happy?
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self.depression
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the person i most need a break from is myself big mood rn
i get overwhelmed by social situations a lot, but i'm the most annoying person in my life
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self.Anxiety
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We are all going to die and there is no Life after you die [deleted]
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self.depression
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Experience with ESA? Hey guys,
So my girlfriend struggles pretty hard with anxiety. I'm sure I don't need to describe what she goes through, but it puts her out of commission sometimes for days. I wanna help however I can, but I obviously have no clue what she's actually feeling or what, if anything, I can actually do (any advice here is appreciated).
We can't afford prolonged therapy or medication. She's got insurance through work, but it's nothing special and from what I've been reading, insurance can be tricky with mental health issues. A friend of hers who also deals with anxiety mentioned getting an emotional support animal.
On the surface, this seems like a great idea. We both love animals and understand the commitment and responsibility of caring for a dog (likely what we'd get). It would be her animal, but I would obviously help in every way I can. And she had a cat growing up who died a year ago of lymphoma. Whenever she felt an attack coming on, she'd find him and he'd sit in her lap purring until she could function again and it seemed to be really good for getting her back on her feet.
Now, I've heard some things about ESAs, about how people abuse them as a concept by registering pets in order to take them on planes and into stores or to get out of pet fees, things like that. If we do this, we want to know three things first:
1) in your experiences, is this even a good idea, or is this like putting a band aid on a serious injury?
2) While you can register nearly any pet it seems, are there specially trained anxiety/depression service animals?
3) If the answer to 1 is no (or yes but they cost thousands), we want to be legit as possible when we register. She is willing to visit a psychiatrist and get officially diagnosed (she doesn't wanna go otherwise, I want her to go at least once; any advice here is also welcome). Are there certifying agencies that are better than others?
Sorry if any of this comes across as clueless or insulting. I just want to help her feel good, ya know? That's hard to do when I have no understanding of what it's like. A service dog may be able to provide better comfort than me.
What do you guys think?
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self.Anxiety
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I wanna die My parents are super broke right now and so am I. I need so many basic things like cables but I can't afford them. I've been trying to look for a job but the thought of it gives me such bad anxiety. This vent probably makes no sense but I'm really lost right now and I'm afraid I will go back to self harm.
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self.offmychest
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Woes of a colonial millennial I think I found words to describe the darkness. I think I've seen it all. I am just too tired to care now. It's stupid to think things are going to be nice isn't it?
Maybe it isn't. Maybe it's just me, maybe I didn't choose right at the right junction. Maybe thats why I have to feel this way.
Will I grow old and wonder how stupid all this is, how little they mean. Is that all we are? Just glowworms trapped in a glass jar, so much potential but goin'no where. Does that even make sense?
Am I just another human being chasing an illusion. Is there a bigger meaning to all this? Doesn't seem so.
Philosophy, theology and evolutionary biology. Can anyone make sense of this inconvenient tautology.
Witty, is that I am? Smart as they say? Dumb as I feel?
Define me.
Somebody please define me. No not you past.
I can't change you. And no sit the fuck down future, I am done letting you manage things.
Now, we I ain't goin'no where right now. My mind is at a true balance between chaos and peace. Subliminal messages from the stars speak to me. I am a child of this universe and that's all I am. The bonds around me are nothing but imaginary.
I am owned by no one only me, the ones who birthed me has no meaning to me as they only created the vessel of who I am. The ones who show me love is only doing it for the benefit of it all. Sometimes its shelter and sometimes it's food, can I blame them for being so human? Or should I blame my self for seeing it that way. Should I let the pressure build up within me. Should I just let it build away.
Crossroads, I am always at crossroads. Writing my soul away to demons, 10 years to 5. I am writing my soul away. With every choice I make, I sell my soul to the devil.
Define me, please define me. I am without direction and honestly not a smidgen of care. Define me.
Am I following my path or am I just floating away. Is it my time ? How should I know. Trust in a god who is not even real? Trust in the dollar bills that I can't care too much to earn. Should I give in to the yearn to wander off on to nothingness.
Define me.
Somebody please define me.
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self.depression
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i fucked up (update) so my friend finally replied and said that shes sorry that she snapped at me, apologised more and basically said shes talking herself out of committing, setting a goal of surviving till christmas. hopefully she does and i have all hope in her that she will because i know she can, thanks all for responding to my other post hopefully u see this too, thanks for the advice guys
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self.SuicideWatch
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I have no friends and my family members refuse to do anything [deleted]
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self.depression
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Does anyone else feel like there's a ticking clock? Sometimes I feel like I'm walking to the gallows. Like every step I take is just one step closer to dying. I constantly make new plans of hanging out with people as if to delay the process, but I can almost hear a ticking in the background (not literally) like time is running out.
And it terrifies me. Like either I'm so scared I'm going to hurt myself or I'm angry at myself because I'm still trying. The latter never makes sense to me, does anyone get actually angry that they haven't given up? Like the Supervillain of a comic book or anime where they're shouting "Why are you still trying? Just give up already!" But it's in your head and it's constant.
Half of my brain tells me to give up and the other half shouts at me to not even think about giving up. But nothing brings me joy anymore. Not any of my favorite things, sleeping doesn't help, hanging out with friends is a temporary respite. It's scary because I used to rely on the fact that I always wanted a family. Like to get married and have kids.
Now even the thought of such things sounds like. Terrible? But only because my brain is like "ugh that means we'd still be alive" like I'm scared that even if one day when I'm happy and this is behind me, I'll always think to myself "this comes second to dying though" which might make no sense but it's what I hear in my head and sadly it's what I feel in my bones.
I'm stuck. Half of me wants to try and keep going but then my depression is like "no it's too hard you'd have to get up every day and do things and interact and even if you watch tv or read books you'll still be miserable" and the other half is just like please just stop this. And I'm terrified because both sound awful and nothing makes sense anymore.
Does anyone else wake up and their first thought is "ugh I'm still here" and then just the thought of doing ANYTHING makes me want to die. Like my brain says "well you don't have to clean the house if you're dead, or go to work or eat or anything"
I'm looking for advice and for some kind of recognition that I'm not alone? Like I Know I'm not alone and that millions of people deal with this, but I'd like to hear it for these specific issues.
To answer questions that might get asked: I've been dealing with this for 10 years, yes I'm on medication (7th times the charm am I right?), my friends and family know I'm not okay but it's hard for them to understand, and I'm talking to my doctor about this. I'm trying everything but nothing is working and I'm so tired and so scared and so sad.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Everything is going wrong I can't keep on top of everything. Some area of my life are suffering because I literally can't cope with it all. I just feel like giving up on it all
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self.offmychest
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I chose to live, but I need your help, please. [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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My best friend is in depression and is suicidal I met him about 2 years ago, and he seems fine and I know he thinks that he'll never get a girl and that's about it. He wants approval of his dad which he never gives. Recently after 2 years he decides to tell me that he hasn't done anything to help people, he will never find anyone to love, he won't have a bright future and that he's useless. After he says those things he says that if I every do something stupid (suicide) can you tell everyone that I really appreciate them and that they have done alot for me. How do I help him? He won't go to a therapist and I don't know how I can help him change his self worth.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Looking for support loved one has BP Hi everyone. I very close friend has BP and I am looking for ways to support them and also maintain my own boundaries. Does anyone know any forums that might be helpful. I feel really loss and sad and I feel like they are really mad at me and our relationship is over. They have just about cut me out of their life and I just need a little support. Thanks and much love.
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self.bipolar
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zyprexa? I went to the Mental Health Center near me, It went okay. They said they called in the prescription they decided on (Zyprexa). Does anyone have experience with this in treating Anxiety and Depression? Was it good or bad? I've been seeing mixed feedback about it, and was curious from this subs perspective.
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self.Anxiety
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Idk what to do with my life. Completely directionless [deleted]
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self.depression
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Sexual side effects and Seroquel XR Hey guys.
I started Seroquel XR ten days ago. Been definitely feeling some reduction in anxiety and depression, and for that I am grateful. I've had a hell of a time, being on seven different SSRIs before figuring out that they just weren't going to cut it for me.
Dosage right now is 150 mg around 1800, after supper. Problem is, I can feel a pretty big decrease in libido already, and that actually makes me feel MORE anxious.
Im wondering if this goes away, or lessens with time. I've only been on it for ten days, but if this is going to stay, it's a deal breaker for me and I'll have to move on to something else.
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self.bipolar
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FMLA for Anxiety? Has anyone applied for FMLA due to anxiety? What was the process?
I am going to a psychiatrist soon for a formal diagnosis, my current diagnosis is depression and it was from 16 years ago. For those who don't know, FMLA protects people from discrimination due to a medical disorder. That means if I call in sick to work I can't get fired because of it. I find that some days I need time off due to my mental health and even though I have paid sick time it's hard to call in and try to explain to someone that doesn't deal with mental illness what is happening.
Boss: Hello
Me: Hi, I am having a panic attack because my apartment is dirty but I have no energy to clean it and also I just thought about how death is inevitable and I can't stop crying.
Boss: Uhhhh...
Me: I have explosive diarrhea and I can't come to work.
Boss: Okay feel better.
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self.Anxiety
|
I dont understand if what im feeling is depression Ive gone through a massive transition in terms of confidence and belief throughout sixth form. In secondary i was never a popular kid, and in sixth form ive done so much better, but i always feel like i can never escape from my embarrassing past. I used to be a top student but with no friends, now im the opposite and i have no clue who i am.
Im doing awful in my grades and ive got to apply to uni, for the past year and a half ive had no motivation and im always fatigued even when i get a good nights sleep. At first i thought it was my diet but thoughts about worthlessness and panic attacks crept in.
The only reason i like sixth form is cus of my friends and im constantly on edge that they secretly hate me, its so difficult especially when the slightest thing will make me feel awful about myself.
I struggle to focus and ive gradually lost all interest in past hobbies apart from getting fucked up whenever i can. I used to be such a smart kid but now i feel like ill always be a dissapointment and ill never get into uni. I never really confronted that i could have depression or whether i was just lazy, but the fact i seem not to care about things like history that i used to love could mean i do
Sorry i never normally post on here but throw your opinions out cus im so lost.
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self.depression
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I know it’s silly but I think about it from time to time [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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Help, friend is having a breakdown Hello,
My friend (ex girlfriend) is having a breakdown in the bathroom at school. (University) I have no idea what to do. I've tried every thing I know before but now I am clueless.
I also think that she is suicidal. She does not want to come out and tells that I hate her and that everybody gates her again and again.
Any advice?
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self.depression
|
I honestly feel like I'm losing my shit. This post is mainly just me needing to be able to vent in a safe space.
But I feel like I'm losing my mind recently. I don't want to get into the million things that have piled up to make me feel this way but it's so horrible. I feel terrified and hopeless. But at the same time so much has happened it almost feels like my brain has overloaded and shut down recently. It's like I can't even feel upset about any of it anymore but the fear and hopelessness is bubbling underneath, just trapped somewhere. But I know it's there.
Not many people know about my mental illnesses. I'm a very private person and I don't like to feel vulnerable. It's rare that I'll open up to a person. Honestly, I don't even feel comfortable opening up to anyone most of the time. And the fucked up part is friends/family will tell me I'm the strongest person they know because I don't show that weakness. I know they mean it as a good thing, but it doesn't feel like a good thing from my perspective.
There are two people in my life who are very close to me. My boyfriend and my best friend. I can talk to my boyfriend but he doesn't know what to say. When I've talked to him in the past it's mostly just ended with me being embarrassed I said anything in the first place. It's not because he makes me feel that way or anything. It's just me. And he doesn't deal with the things I do, so he doesn't really understand a lot of it.
My best friend used to be my rock but she's Christian now. Don't take that the wrong way. I have nothing against Christian people whatsoever. Whatever works for you. It's nice people can have faith in something. I'm happy for them, and for her, since she's been happier because of her religion. But I'm not religious, it just doesn't work for me. And if I go to her with anything personal I just get responses like, "Well God can heal anything." I'm sorry, but fucking seriously? I don't want to hear that. I don't want to be told that God can fucking help me when I feel this horrible darkness. That doesn't do anything for me. If anything, it just makes me feel angry and even worse off.
I just want this to go away. I used to know how to fight it off but it feels like somewhere along the way I forgot.
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self.depression
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I wish I could pass my condolences along in person. I recently learned my ex’s grandfather passed away shortly before Christmas and this has made me incredibly sad. I know how devastating this is for him and his family and while we were together I grew really fond of his family. Now I have no way to pass on my condolences, especially considering it was just established a month ago he really had no desire to be my friend or keep in touch whatsoever even though when we broke up he said the complete opposite. (Short version, he broke up with me because he ‘realized he didn’t have romantic feelings for me’ and while that hurts, you can’t force some to love you so I just hoped to salvage a friendship. Six months later he has a new girlfriend and avoids me completely, I’m not as bitter as you would assume, she actually suits him really well)
We were only together 9 months but I spent the holidays with him and his family last year. And I sat with him when his grandfather was hospitalized earlier this year. I grew really attached to his family in this time and I am so so sad to learn this man has passed. And I can’t talk to anyone about it so I’ll just say it here.
I’m so sorry this happened around Christmas and I’m so sorry for your loss.
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self.offmychest
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The irony of wanting to kill yourself just to remind people that you exist is almost palpable. [deleted]
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self.depression
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I constantly dream of the apocalypse, do you? My dreams are never pleasant. They are always horror/sci-fi based and always located in the town I grew up in, which is also where I live. It varies from past, to the present and what I assume the town will look like in the future.
They aren't monster type dreams although, they do feature from time to time. They vary from 'something is chasing me' to 'I have to save the world because I have super powers' to 'lava monsters and fire and brimstone'. Think Freddy Kruger-esq suspense mixed with the apocalypse
It's mostly based in my old neighbourhood and primary school and has a dark and foreboding vibe. They're so creepy that whenever I happen to drive nearby the school or my old neighbourhood, I get the same feelings as I do in my dreams.
I've always had these dreams ever since I was a kid so I don't know whether I'm just projecting and associating my dream vibes into real life? Which is a possibility. But I never have sweet dreams, as they say.
I remember every house and every detail of the area, down to the colour of bricks and fences. I haven't lived in the neighbourhood since I was 10. I'm now in my late 20's.
I don't drive near it, probably once or twice a year as I live on the nicer side of town now.
I am bipolar and have anxiety so it could just be my way of working stuff out. But does anyone else have similar, sinister dreams themes/patterns? And how do you deal with it? Because some days it gets me down!
|
self.bipolar
|
If you decide your going to kill yourself, give it three days. Set a timer for 72 hours. This is a serious decision, and three days should give you enough time to think it out. If at any point you dont feel like doing it, stop the timer.
Dont make a rash decision. This will ensure that your not making this decision just because of an episode where it gets horrible. It also lets you make better plans, as to the method and what you may leave in a note.
I cant take credit for this idea, but I wont name the website I got it from as it discusses methods and I understand that is against the rules. This was somewhat comforting to me, knowing I didnt have the ultimate decision right then, and letting me make sure im making the right choice. I haven't gotten past day two.
|
self.depression
|
Why do bad things happen to good people? You were so young. Older than me but we are still young. You were always such a force. You took hold and got what you wanted. You walked the line. You redrew the line. And you found love with a woman who sparked your soul in ways we common folk pray for. Those sweet babies of yours will never know that smile in real time. They will never hear your voice rattle deep in their bones as you sing a hard song in a rock lined basement. I won't be able to smell a clove cigarette without flashing back to high school days, that wry little smile always on your face.
You don't even know the impact you had on some of us. Some of us were too afraid to tell you how amazing you were, but you knew you were special. That's why you shared yourself with everyone.
You were taken way too soon. And I'm beyond angry at the universe for allowing such good to be taken from us while pure evil sits around flourishing. But I know you have a purpose.
RIP Ash. You really are going to be missed...
|
self.offmychest
|
Enormous sensitivity to mirtazapine Looks I am exceptionally sensitive to antihistamine effects of most drugs. Yesterday at midnight I took 1/8 of a 15 mg mirtazapine tab (this is about 1.5-2 mg), I felt antihistamine-drowsy (I know this feeling very well as I tried lots of drugs with H1 blocking profile) in 20-30 minutes. Sleep quite good. Now it is almost 6 pm (T+18 hours), and I still feel this unpleasant sedation. Only from less than 2 mg of a drug. Is it normal?
Also, I use quetiapine for sleep quite often. I noticed 5 mg of a drug (less than 1/4 of a 25 mg drug) is enough for me to feel dirty antihistamine sedation lasting deep into the next day.
I know the pharmacologic profile of mirtazapine and statements, it is much more sedating at low doses. But I cant just cant imagine this dirty feeling of antihistaminic sedation would be overwhelmed by action on other receptors.
On the other hand, benzos and their sedation was never so dirty for me. On low doses of benzos (2.5-5 mg diazepam/0.25-0.5 mg clonazepam/xanax equivalent) I was never so passive and tied to ground as on H1 blocker drugs.
Am I just overly sensitive to H1 blocking effects of drugs?
|
self.depression
|
[small victory] Had a job interview earlier today. 10mg of valium and a few cans later I got the job! [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
I feel so sad and nobody cares about me and I wanna die so bad [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
The world is beautiful, I don't want to die I am sitting at the bar on the beach,this sub is not allowing pictures I wanted to post picture.
How come no one knows to cure this shit in my head.
Please God make this pain go away, I have so much love to give to the world and people.
How could I be so stupid to betray God and do those damn meditations that destroyed me.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Im not depressed anymore im just sad Im sad about really dumb things that others find normal. Going back to school is my main one. Idk how I can go sit in a set of different classrooms learning about things that wont matter in 5 years with a bunch of shitty people 6 hours a day. Goodnight ily all.
|
self.depression
|
My girlfriend of 3 years is suicidal and I'm not sure who to tell or what to do. x/post with r/relationships. [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Buspar and side effects? I was just curious to see if anybody else was prescribed Buspar (Buspirone) and experienced any sort of depression (which I never felt before) and even moments of suicidal thoughts?
I’ve been on 5mg in the morning and 10 before bed for about a week now and curious to see if anybody else has felt this way!
This is also my first try at medication other than self-medicated THC, which could have been the original source of my anxiety.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Anxiety-how am i supposed to believe that im pretty, cute, and beautiful if everyone on yahoo answers Told me how ugly i was ten years ago?
|
self.Anxiety
|
I can’t get up I can’t find the motivation. I’m too tired to even be writing this and I just want to close out of it.
I had a dream I was sitting with my friends, none of them looking happy, then one asks to move to the other table, and they all follow. There was one less chair, meaning I wouldn’t be able to join them. They seemed to be perfectly content with that.
I know it’s stupid because it’s just a dream, but it feels like something they would do.
I no longer make my friends happy and I no longer make myself happy.
I skip meeting them in the mornings because they don’t really talk to me or interact with me, and they seem to be fine with it. I hate talking because I know I fucking annoy them, it gets to the point where I just want to pull my vocal-cords out or find some way to destroy them.
But I’m too fucking tired.
I’m wondering if it’s even worth it to go to school today.
|
self.depression
|
Dealing with your trauma and anxiety, how have you coped? Anxiety and panic disorders, acute and chronic, are often triggered by traumas large and small. Trauma is relative, it can be as simple as the parents splitting up to suffering an assault. My trauma certainly revisits me and triggers prolonged anxiety attacks. I am dealing with it rather well though I think, with support from family and therapy/medications. If you've suffered trauma, how do you cope? What techniques have you used to mitigate the panic and anxiety surrounding it? How do you keep yourself from revisiting the past when you are trying to sleep?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Have you ever had a mixed episode within a depressed episode? Probably needs a TW.
Trying to look back over the years at my ups and downs. I notice a pattern, where say I’ll can see that I was depressed for 5 months but I remember a couple weeks that stand out. It usually goes that I was very stressed and slept a lot less, started a bunch of work projects that didn’t make much sense, became even more forgetful and scatterbrained, dove deep into my obsessions, and became extra extra irritable. Eventually those feelings would come to a head where I would SH or have to actively hold myself back from killing myself. Then that would pass and I’d feel kinda bubbly and/or peaceful for a day or two before plunging back into depression. Can anyone relate to that?
|
self.bipolar
|
Experience with ECT therapy? I know this is a your mileage may vary thing, but I'm still in high school and wondering if this will seriously mess me up.
I want to be better but honestly don't know at what cost I'm willing to do it.
|
self.depression
|
Rage issues I relapsed and got drunk on vokdka 3 days ago. And since then I have had horrible anger and short tempered to the point if I'm startled or caused anxiety I will smash or throw or whatever the cause of it. I just want to smash everything. Nothing works right. My nerves and temper are so bad I cannot clean. If I start knocking things over while trying to clean, due to horrible nerves, I end up throwing and smashing things again. Its horrible. I have so much guilt for drinking at all. I know I can't drink or this happens. I hate this time of year, I cannot work because I am so unstable. Am I alone in this? Is there anyone else out there like me? It would help to know I'm not alone.
|
self.bipolar
|
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