text
stringlengths 39
36.7k
| label
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
How do you deal with severe pain triggered by anxiety I’m a single mom of 1 and his dad is coming in for thanksgiving and Christmas this year (he lives clear across the country and his visits are few and far between). Our divorce was incredibly hard for a number of reasons and I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD due to the nature of how he carried the divorce out. Every visit brings major anxiety but it’s been extremely bad since Monday.
I’ve never dealt with physical pain associated with anxiety before so I’m kind of lost. How do you deal with physical symptoms of anxiety like pain and tense muscles?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Chronic illness, chronic stillness. My chronic illness puts me in pain every waking moment from when I lay down my head till I wake up in the morning. I don't have a job and I can hardly do anything. I feel so alone all the time- I cannot relate to anyone. Especially my peers ( 19 F). None of my *friends* text me to see how I am anyways. Everyday seems so meaningless. The pain eats my joy away. Even when I'm having "fun" I still feel it beating me down. I've been to over 20 doctors and have tried every type of medicine possible and nothing seems to work. Each day bleeds into one and I cannot take it anymore.
Time is meaningless when there is nothing to wait for.
Set me free.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Think I got drugged the other night Woke up at my friends apartment and nobody else was there. No idea how I made it home. I think I got drugged at the club and then just wandered off blackout. This isn't usual for me so I don't think it was the alcohol. I woke up feeling no hangover, no vomiting just shaking, depressed and anxious. I don't know what to do. My head has been a mess. I can't help but think something bad happened during my blackout state.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I am having a lot of suicidal thoughts and anxiety. I am thinking about killing myself. I want to buy a gun
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Sometimes I wish my Dad died instead of my Mom My Mom died a long time. She was amazing, honestly and truly. She loved me deeply and I knew it. We did practically everything together, so losing her felt like losing a piece of me that I can never get back.
While my Mom was loving, gentle, and kind, my father was the opposite. I can say that I have little to no memories of him and I doing much together while I grew up. It wasn't until after her death that I realized I did have a Dad. I know it sounds odd, I mean we all lived together, but he was always out and about, so it was really me and my Mom. Anyway, after her death, I got to "know him" and he was/is a horrible, mean person. He was the opposite of my Mother, and still is. There were many time growing up that I wished he had died instead of my Mom. I know it sounds horrible and it can be hard for most to believe that someone would say that about their parent. The fact that I have thought it hearts my heart, but it is the truth. I miss my Mom, a lot, and she was a much better parent than he could have ever dreamt of being.
|
self.offmychest
|
I'm sorry I really am please.
maybe next life I'll be a better person.
|
self.depression
|
Gay dude, I resent my boyfriend and I'm about to cheat on him [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
Dealing with depression as a teen. Every day it feels like I get weaker mentally. I know everyone has problems so I don't really speak on them anyone. The problem is all my friends don't know how bad it is so when I ask for help no one really can help. I'm 15, used to be a VERY HEAVY stoner, now it's about once or twice a week. Honestly felt better stoned out of my brain all day. But I wanna learn to be happy and content when I'm sober. My drug list is very long and I've experimented with alot of drugs. I talk to a consouler, workout more, nothing makes a difference. Only temporarily. I just don't know what to do anymore. Never thought I'd have to ask strangers online for help, any tips? Please.
|
self.depression
|
impossible to concentrate 24 need to finish highschool,depressed, generalized anxiety, bpd or sociopath , no friends, hermit for 7 years, worked like
1 year in 7 years... even if I finish highschool I feel like its too late for me, my subconscient knew since like 14 I would die by suicide before 30 so I didnt care about my future all these years but now I start to care lol...
|
self.depression
|
I had... an episode of some sort... im looming for help [deleted]
|
self.Anxiety
|
I am stupid, ugly, worthles, and no one likes me. I am going to kill myself.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
The fact that my life is slipping by without me being able to really live it is killing me. I don't do anything. I'm completely incapable because of my depression and chronic headaches. I just want to sleep. I had some short moments of happiness before so I know what life can be. Now I just can't get that anymore. I'm laying in bed doing nothing for hours just thinking about the time going by. Just suffering. I want to die so I can end the suffering and so I don't have to face the truth that I can't actually live life. I know that life can be good but that just hurts me more because I can see the light yet I'm seperated from it in my own darkness.
EDIT: I'll explain some more about my situation. I got lots of problems: I'm an addict, I feel depersonalised, derealised, mood swings, confused, very depressed an anxious, lots of physical pain. This all just combines into one big pressure pushing down on me. It's like I'm being attacked form all sides but I don't know where to flee. Only death seems to be a true escape.
|
self.depression
|
I’m 21 about to be 22. Is it too late to make friends? Not sure where else to ask, sorry if this is the wrong place. I just figured people here would maybe be in a similar place in life as me. But yeah, I’m 21 and I have 3 friends that I actually hang out with and I only hang out with 1 of those friends more than once every few months. Is it too late for me to branch out? I’m not in college anymore so I dunno it’s kinda hard. This is a throwaway account of course.
|
self.depression
|
People constantly tell me "You're way too hard on yourself" So this is something I've noticed especially in the past couple of months. People CONSTANTLY tell me I'm too hard on myself, it's kind of insane. Two of my professors have told me this privately; for one of them it even got to a point where he forced me to compliment myself. I've had many friends tell me to stop being so mean to myself. I've had an acquaintance, who I barely see, tell me "stop don't be so mean to yourself."
Can anyone else relate?
I'm assuming a lot of people with constant anxiety have a negative voice in their heads.
The funny thing is, people wouldn't tell me this before (even though the voice in my head is exactly the same), when I was 40-70 lbs. heavier, had far worse hygiene (bad skin, hair, smelled worse), zero fashion sense, was very codependent, etc. People would constantly refer to me as a super funny guy, and I was praised for my "self-deprecatory humor." It's just funny how I'm hearing this SOOOO often now. Wondering if it's possible that people actually have respect for me now, but I still don't? Or if it's something else that I haven't picked up on?
|
self.Anxiety
|
My anxiety makes me worry and I didn’t realise until recently that it’s really affecting me. [deleted]
|
self.Anxiety
|
Another terrible, horrific, evil day where I wish I could die soon. How long will this torture last? How long am I supposed to go on?
If someone could just be willing to find a gun and shoot me in some area that's pain-free and that would cause me to die quickly, that would be great.
Just hurry up and kill me.
|
self.depression
|
Deciding whether or not to medicate? As the title states I’m debating whether or not to start medication when my health insurance starts up in January. I was diagnosed with BP2 with anxiety tendencies (that will be looked into further the more I meet up with my therapist) on Thursday and after our session she told me to think about how I wanted to proceed, and if I wanted to start taking medication she would refer me to a handful of different psychiatrists.
I don’t necessarily have an issue taking medication, but I think it would be nice to hear others opinions on the subject.
So for people who started medication, why did you feel that you needed to start? And for people who don’t medicate, what do you do to help you through the tougher phases of your hypomania or depression?
|
self.bipolar
|
Back again. I posted a couple times here about half a year ago. Managed to get to a point where I felt I didn't want to do anything to myself anymore. I was wrong.
Could really do with someone to talk to.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
What are your "beginning of psychosis" stories? How did they end? I've always been curious of self explained stories of what people felt and saw during their slip into psychosis. Looking back on episodes now, do you realize things may have not been what you thought? like hallucinations you didn't realize were hallucinations etc.. I'd love to hear any stories about these episodes, fill free to send me a message if your more comfortable with that too!
|
self.bipolar
|
Raw Resignation Stop thinking you have it all figured out, because you never do and when you climb back down from the temporary highs then reality will just hit you like a train again.
Or sometimes it settles in slowly with a sinking feeling, weighing down on you and turning everything grey.
You are bound to be stuck in this circle, and you know there's no escape and all the complicated things that keep you up at night will always be there and that's the most agonising fucking thing in the world.
To be selfish for just a split second would mean to be selfish for the rest of the lives of the people you destroy. You can't be selfish.
Then again, what does dust care?
|
self.depression
|
One day I’ll find you again.. I was finally truly happy, but then once again like always everything around me came crumbling down. I feel like I’m not meant to find happiness with someone. I loved you but you were too scared to leave.. To start over with me. To create a life with each other like we had talked about. We both only wanted happiness and I thought we both made one another happy..
Now I’m left to feel like I never mattered to you at all. I gave you everything I had and only wanted to see you succeed and to be yourself and be happy. The hardest part of all this is that I invited you into my family and they all welcomed you with open arms. My mother thinks of you as a daughter. They all ask about you everyday, with ‘where is she’ ‘why don’t you bring her around anymore’ ‘we miss her’.... I can’t bring myself to tell them we are done.. Now you and I hardly talk. Like we are back at square one. I can’t speak to you the way I want too, tell you how much I love and miss you. That will only bring you heart ache and stress. And that’s everything I want you to never have to feel again. Last time we spoke you told me you missed me.. I cried inside.. but that was it. Nothing more.
So I guess I just say nothing from this point on and hope you still know that I am here, that I do love you still. But where do I go from here. I don’t want anyone else but you. From the first moment I saw you, I knew You were the one. I have loved you from that moment on. But not everything can be a happy fairy tail ending. At least not in my favor.. I want to be everything someone has ever wanted. I thought I felt that with you.. maybe I was wrong. Cause now I’m left alone still feeling miserable and unwanted. I know I need to be alone. I can’t do anymore heartache. I know I don’t need anyone to be happy. But it would be nice, ya know.. to have someone along side of you loving you as much as you love them. Damn, that sure was nice while it lasted. I guess.. It’s time to find my own happiness within myself.
Though I am still hopeful that one day, we can find our way back to each other. Until then. I hope you take care and find what you’re looking for and can figure out what your heart wants.
|
self.offmychest
|
What motivates you? I’ve been having a string of bad days lately. I stare at my computer at work and don’t get work done. My apartment is a mess and I can’t clean or organize it. Sporadically I have days where I can accomplish things but the moods don’t last long enough to get caught up. And unless it’s a super super pressing matter, the task gets lost in the shuffle.
What is everyone’s secret to motivation when you just can’t find the energy to do what you need to get done?
|
self.depression
|
i'm so confused... my mind is like a puzzle that has mismatched pieces. I go from manic to depressed almost every day and i don't feel like i'm one person. My therapist thinks i'm faking because she's never seen anything like it
|
self.bipolar
|
Feels weird I’ve written private posts, notes, even in a journal about the cycles of sadness I go through from time to time but never on a platform like this.
I used to have a good (but small) set of friends that supported and uplifted me from time to time when certain adversities would become too hard to handle. Over time I’ve lost them or grew apart despite how much I valued them. It’s gotten a lot harder to deal with it because of this.
There are days where I don’t have a care in the world and I feel okay. Other days I wake up and I want it to be over already because the absence of my active consciousness is better than risking feeling any kind of pain. And then there are days were the weight of my insecurities push me to cry.
I feel helpless and weak and lonely. Despite having a boyfriend that I live with I can’t bring myself to talk about an issue I don’t even understand. I sit or lay frozen, and I cry. Insults to myself fade in and out of my head because I can’t bare *letting* myself feel this way. I question my weakness and stupidity without a break.
And then there comes a moment when I’m close to my lowest point. I see it, I feel it, and I become distracted by the desire to avoid the intense pain at the bottom and fatigue that follows.
And then it ends. The pain is gone without resolution and my sadness vanishes.
I cycle through.
It’s like a can of soda being shaken until bursts, except it refills with insecurity and is shaken by outside factors.
I don’t know, I’m just sad and too afraid to admit it and make it a reality.
|
self.offmychest
|
Are there any non-BS arguments against committing suicide by someone who is contemplating it, not because he is depressed, but because he believes this is logically the best choice for him AND the society? Let me clarify:
I'm NOT depressed (I think), nor do I feel sad, hurt or anything like that, I'm also NOT mentally ill (if you are one of those people believing, that if someone is seriously contemplating suicide, he MUST BE mentally ill and should be locked away 'for his own good' - please go away). I'm not some hurt teenager - I'm 30 years old and have a steady and rather well-paying job. From the outsider's perspective, I'm 'successful' and have no reason to contemplate such a 'drastic' step.
When I was young, I witnessed the suicide of a family member (personally cut my father from the rope, to be more precise) - so I DO know the pain, grief and all other emotions that the loved ones have to endure in the aftermath - been there, done that.
I have no friends, nor do I want to have any (I don't want any people depending on me).
The reasons I'm contemplating IF suicide might be an option, are:
1. I don't 'fit' the society - social norms are crap, and every time I try to 'adapt' I end up hurting myself.
2. I don't see life as a gift - more like some sick and tedious struggle, that is futile from the beginning - since we are all gonna end up dead anyway.
3. I already decided I won't have children so my crappy genes won't get passed forward.
Putting it all together - why should I stay around and waste natural resources, that could benefit somebody else?
So far, I compiled a list of BS arguments that people use, like:
1. 'Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem' - the fact that it is permanent is an argument for it, not against it.
2. 'Life is beautiful!' - no, it's not - there is more pain than beauty, and while some things are indeed very nice, most of the life is spent struggling and suffering - for nothing.
3. 'It's a coward way out!' - so, one less coward in your beautiful world... You should be glad, hell you should even encourage it! Or are you a hypocrite?
4. 'Follow the way of Jesus/Buddha/Allah/Whatever - they will give your life meaning!' - already a believer, and the older you get, the more questions you have... It's not helping. Sure, the fear of hell is 'helping' somewhat, but as the time goes by, it is starting to fade as well.
5. 'Seek professional help!' - yes, get yourself admitted to the psychiatric ward, stripped from dignity and free will, and pumped full of drugs... Yep, this will make everything better...
6. 'You'll hurt your loved ones! You have no idea what they will have to endure!' - as I said, I cut my father from the rope, I have a pretty good idea. But, since I cannot adopt 'social norms,' I'm already hurting them anyway...
So... are there any real arguments against suicide, other than the BS above?
Thanks in advance.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I say I’m not suicidal, but I’m not sure. Sometimes I am, sometimes I’m depressed, and sometimes I’m fine. [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Someone asked me at the Thanksgiving table what it was like to return to Florida after Hurricane Irma. [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
Can antibiotics mess with meds? Can't tell if this irritability is from antibiotics or from bull shit in my life finally pushing past my threshold.
|
self.bipolar
|
It's time to go. I love all of you very much I love all of you, but I can't do this anymore
I just want to be dead and can't do it.....
|
self.depression
|
No one actually cares Got nothing for Christmas nor had anyone I knew said anything it’s like iv been forgotten well that’s good then I guess ghosting stage it completed
|
self.depression
|
Can I live again? Beyond the realms of reason and joy... [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
21 and I'm breaking down. I feel like I'm living like a 50 year old. To be honest, I spend my day scrolling instagram or facebook just envying everyone travelling, having their best lives with their girlfriends or boyfriends. I'm just some single dude who just goes too work comes back, has dinner by myself pays bills, watch tv till 2am goes to sleep. work. repeat. Its depressing, but I'm horribly proud of it. No drama, no friends, no fake bullshit around me. Just me. I love it. But hate it at the same time. I'm lazy which keeps me comfortable. I don't have a college degree cause my logic is that there's no point stressing over stupid shit when life's too short. So i take like slowly. I don't like how these party girls and guys are always thinking that life is the life of millionaires. It's not. Tbh i fucking hate this. And I can't just "change".
|
self.depression
|
Homesickness due to family (mainly mother), could use the advice Ok so just a quickly set the scene. I've recently moved out (a few days ago) to my own place, the place is near my house (about 30 minutes walk, 8 minutes on subway or car) but im feeling really homesick.
The main problem is my mother, I love her to bits and we've always had such a close bond I've admired her strength and all she's done for me but our relationship hasn't been the best for the past year.
Mum can't speak english, as a result iv done everything for her in that department. She is/was extremely dependant on me, she then ended up disabled with little to no mobility so I became a carer for her. About 6 months ago she had an operation to fix it, and it did help alot but she still requires helps, My cousin has moved in to basically help my mum out and lives with her now. So I decided to move out.
That's when things got bad. Mother tried everything to stop me, from begging to emotional blackmail to even going as far as taking money out of my account as a means to stop me. However nothing worked and I still moved out.
The days leading up to it were horrible for me, She was distant, nasty and ignored me. On the day I was moving out she burst into tears and i didn't know what to do so I just left (I know for a fact if i stayed then she'd find some way of keeping me around), I felt terrible and I went to visit her the next day but she was really nasty to me again.
All of this is eating me up, I already feel isolated (I know i shouldnt as im living with my best friend right now) but she's making things hard and really bad for me right now. Right now Dad is also away (my grandmother had a fall so he's looking after her right now in our home country), but things have always been pricly with them as well. She's branded me a failure, cold hearted, useless and just about everything there is.
I really feel horrible and spent alot of my time crying over the fact that nothing i do is making things better. Can someone give me advice
|
self.offmychest
|
I wish I had the courage to kill myself just so people would think, "she wasn't lying." I'm tired of being told that nothing is wrong with me. I can't help but cry when I'm told to just "deal with it." I keep being told to change, but I can't. I feel so frustrated and trapped.
I have these thoughts right now telling me to do things I shouldn't. There was a voice screaming at me to hit myself. Then for the next few minutes I struggled with the voice telling me to cut myself. I gave in.
It's been months since I hurt myself last and I feel so ashamed. I promised myself and my boyfriend that I would stop. I feel so weak and pathetic.
I want to die so badly. I'm too scared to try it ever again but my God do I want to. I want to shoot myself in the face and rot in hell for eternity where I belong. I wish I would get hit by a car or something.
|
self.depression
|
Sadness/tears there is no hope in life i'm a friendless loser here hoping to find new friends to talk to.
|
self.depression
|
Im sitting in my car and I've lost desire to drive anywhere or do anything. I hate my thoughts. Im lonely. I don't wanna continue. I want to live my life but I'm barely living. I will never commit suicide or end my life, but I just don't feel like going on right now.
I could get out and go back on campus to get some food, or I can go back to my apartment. I could smoke weed, play video games. Like I usually do every night. I love marijuana, without it I would be so bored, but it doesn't help with anxiety. Nothing helps with anxiety, or whatever the fuck this is
I hate talking about my mental state because I have no idea how it got this bad. I have no idea how to make it stop going down the path that it's going down. I realized today that I basically have no desire for more friends. Wtf am I supposed to do now? It's not like I don't want friends, but I've lost 100% of my will power to try. I'm just done.
Nveer had a problem making friends at all. I still don't, when I put effort in. But it's been so long since I've put effort in, I'm forgetting how to be with people. I'm forgetting my charm, how to make people laugh, I'm forgetting how to not be mentally flustered around any other living thing.
But we as people build ourselves around interaction, I have plenty of friends but none come to the same uni as me, and hanging out with friends is often just as boring as being alone. Im so lonely man. I hate saying it, and I will never admit this to anyone in real life. I don't even want to be around people. I want the desire to be around people, because I don't have that anymore. It's lost.
I've scoured every inch of myself looking for answers. Physical activity doesn't help, I gained 20lbs of muscle and lost half of it a year later. Last summer I went to the beach twice and partied on a river with a ton of people. People like me, I do things and have fun, yet I don't have the desire to keep doing any of it. I just wanna smoke and do my school work, because at least my major is interesting to me.
What's funny is I can't see the good things in life, yet they are right in front of me. I can't absorb any of it. The only thing I absorb is what my mind throws at me and it over takes me every day. Every day is a new battle, and some days I manage to climb out of the hole I dig myself into, just to fall right back in.
I've tried keeping track of feelings and Revelations in how I should move forward with my life, thinking that taking it step by step might do something for me but no. Every step I make is so small and immediately gets washed away by the tide of thoughts.
I hate my thoughts. I used to be able to sit happily with my thoughts, I loved how my mind worked. But does it even work differently? Am I too ignorant to see that? I wonder if any of this is legitimate concern for mental disability or if its me over amplifying because I just can't control myself. Why can't I control my own thoughts? Why does my own brain feel invasive more often than not?
I feel like I can't trust my own brain. It's fucking terrifying. I went to a psych and she said I may have bipolar tendencies, or hypomania. But i've felt this way for years already, and I've seen myself happy. I supposed to see a psychiatrist but I just don't want meds, I have been perfectly fine in the past why would my brain chemistry all of a sudden be different? Even if it is, I just don't get what happened in the first place.
I've scanned through my mind and tried to deal with this in every way possible, I just want it to stop. I don't even know what it is. I just want to sit in my car until I starve to death
|
self.offmychest
|
I think I might be okay.. These past 7 years have been a blur. I felt as if I was in a never-ending cycle of ebbs and flows of depression and anxiety and psychotic episodes. I managed to completely isolate myself from my friends, family and hobbies, and in doing so perpetrated my own sadness and worry.
These past 7 years have been hell. For the past 7 years, I guess I've never been truly happy. But eventually it got to a point where I forgot what it even meant to be happy except as a distant childhood memory. Maybe it wasn't in me to be happy- i was just made to be sad. I saw no value in living because I felt as if nothing had value because I hadn't felt pleasure in response to something in a long time.
These past 3 days have been really weird. It's 6am before my first day of school after taking a day off to take care of my brother after almost overdosing on MDMA and I haven't slept in almost 24 hours and i've realised since then that I do have a chance to be happy. I don't know what happened, but for the first time I can remember, I feel at peace, and I think this is a huge breakthrough. For once I see the value of living, even if my life is mundane.
I just hope this feeling lasts. But even if it doesn't, its hope that that feeling is possible.
|
self.depression
|
I Don't know How God, I asked you to kill me rather recently in the past few months. I didn't say it as a joke, i pleaded for it. Gone was my sunny disposition, and I really didn't know how to cope with my situation at hand. However, you ignored me and did something different. You helped me meet a wonderful woman that I honestly cannot comprehend in the slightest.
She's better than any sermon i've heard during mass. She's a miracle incarnate, and the way you've made her is beyond my mental capabilities . I'm going to see her in a bit. We've been together for a few weeks, but it's felt like a new lifetime. I haven't stopped smiling all day long as she texted me about anything, to be completely honest. The best thing is, she knows that I feel this way about her too. I didn't know life could be this damn great again.
Thank you. Just... thank you
|
self.offmychest
|
I have everything I’ve ever wanted, but I’m not happy. [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Do these sound like auditory hallucinations? Sometimes I have lucid dreams where it's mostly noise or sound effects, sometimes music but not "real" music like a song from the radio, just made up music. I'll feel half awake and half aleep. I know the noise isn't real except sometimes I'll think I left music on. When doctors ask about auditory hallucination I picture hearing voices or something. So I've never said yes to the question.
I'm bringing it up to my psych along with these nightmares I'm having in general. Just wanted feedback from anyone who does have hallucinations.
|
self.bipolar
|
Triggered hard for the first time in forever Guys, I’m pissed. I always known the holidays will be a negative, emotionally draining experience for me. My side of the family is mentally unstable. Issues with abuse, ADHD, depression, anxiety and physical health problems are rampant. Since I can remember, I’ve always tried to put myself in the position to “fix” things. The problem is that I learned the impossibility of that task. I only have the power over myself.
I thought I had come to a place where I respected the boundaries of control between my life and the lives of those around me. Apparently, I was wrong.
I feel both proud and embarrassed that I had to leave. The situations occurring when my relatives became more than I could cope.
But now that I removed myself I’m stuck trying to assimilate my anxiety. How can I reconcile what occurred presently with what I am holding on to from the past? And how can I learn and grow from this hurricane of bullshit?
|
self.Anxiety
|
People practising CBT, how true is this statement - "Your thoughts always create your emotions. It is neurologically impossible to to feel anything without first having a thought" Source: You Can Feel Good Again: Common-Sense Strategies for Releasing Unhappiness By Richard Carlson.
As I practice CBT, I try to be more conscious of my thoughts and very often I do catch the trigger thought that leads to feelings of sadness. But there are times when I just feel sad, with no apparent trigger. So this is conflicting with my understanding of how CBT says the mind works.
How do you deal with this situation, when you cant catch the triggering thought of negative emotions?
|
self.depression
|
I think impulse control and poor decision making is my worst symptom of my illness. Well as far as consequences go What’s yours? Besides the obvious depression and mania
|
self.bipolar
|
I heard my parents discussion and my brother came back home. "He's doing that just to annoy us, isn't he?"
"Seeing him like that makes us sad too."
I am hurting people around me just by existing. I have a bad aura that ruins everyone's mood who happen to be near me.
My brother came home yesterday since he's got a 3-week Christmas break from med school.
I'm the complete opposite of him.
He got into med school (It's among the hardest three types of universities to get in.) this year.
He's got a loving girlfriend and really good friends. (He and his GF have been together for like 4.5-5 years now? And there seems to be no end to it.)
He'll never be jobless as long as wants. (He's trusted/a good friend of the leader of one local company.)
He got his name gold plated in some kind of a hall of fame of soldiers. (He's a Special Frontier Jaeger.)
I'm not being jealous. Seeing him reminded me how badly I've failed in life. No achievements, no social interaction, nothing to be proud of. I'm just a walking disappointment.
|
self.depression
|
most effective way to kill yourself when you live in a small town, have no rope and no gun? [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Military woes I really wanted to join the national guard last year. I’d gone to therapy for depression in the past and I’ve recently went back. My recruiter told me it should be okay (I haven’t been officially diagnosed), but if I go on meds I won’t have a chance. I got a 96 on my ASVAB and was looking forward to being a human intel collector(since I qualified).
Lately my depression has gotten worse to the point where some days I can’t get out of bed. Now I’m thinking of starting medication but I don’t want to rule out the guard. It’s the the only thing I was looking forward to besides getting a fresh start at college. At the same time, I keep telling myself that a depressed anxious fuck up like me won’t be an aid to the country anyway. I’m just not sure what to do anymore. Thinking about the future makes me feel even worse. I know that the things I’m looking forward to could be meaningless and I could still be miserable. It really bums me out.
|
self.depression
|
What does it feel like to be bipolar? Like how is one’s thinking process, behavior and feelings? I know it’s being extremely manic or depressed, but outside of what the textbook says. How does it feel, or make you feel?
|
self.bipolar
|
Isolating one's self : a dilemma Does anyone relate to this : I'm depressed so I isolate and tell my SO to give me space. But then I get lonely when no one worries why I haven't been heard from. (Also sad when there aren't any messages from anyone even if I would have ignored the message)
I want to be alone but I don't like feeling lonely ??
|
self.bipolar
|
Someone Cared Ive been planning my exit for a little while now. Im really not coping and im using alcohol as an escape. Other than to go to work im always drunk lately, and if i didnt drive to work id be drunk there too.
One of my plan notes was to take note of anyone who reaches out to me without wanting something from/of me. For awhile no one has, im always messaging them first. Tonight a friend texted me saying she missed me and asking how im doing.
Now im left mixed. Im glad she did this, but i had decided i was leaving. it was just when/where/how. Now she has done this its adding a aura of doubt. fuck
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Got an unsettling response from a call to Lifeline I’m in highschool, and I’m going through a spiral of OCD and anxiety. Today, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I decided to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for the first time.
I waited about 1 minute, and immediately got a responder on the line. I was so terrified to talk, so I was waiting for a typical response, “Hello and thank you for calling the ____ crisis line, how may I help you?” A greeting was never said. It was silent for the first 20 seconds, and I heard a very faint “hello?” from a woman’s voice. I immediately felt unsettled, and confused on how weird the call was going. Things only got weirder when I heard a deep male voice say, “sup” about 10 seconds later. I had no idea if I was hearing things, but it definitely weirded me out. I heard a last quiet hello, and hung up. I didn’t want to call again. Am I crazy? Or was the caller just acting unprofessional? I don’t really understand what happened. Could my call have been tapped into somehow?
|
self.depression
|
DAE ever think back on all the people and times you were slighted or wronged/treated like shit... I swear some days this shit totally consumes me and is all I think about. All the fkn times people treated me like shit or slighted, put me down and made smart ass comments to me, I can't stop replying the scenes in my head and wishing desperately I could go back to these situations in time and lose my fkn mind on these pieces of shit. I think it's a major driving force to my anxiety all this anger I have towards people and I don't know how to let it go. I've tried hard but I just can't get these csuckers out of my head. I rly wish I believed in karma but I know that it's just bs
|
self.Anxiety
|
20yr/old in six mos. Failing in life everyday. Hi, guys. Suicide has been on my mind for a few years now.
my problem just snowballed, really. It's so big now.
Let's start. 1st year college. Architecture. I have low self-esteem. Lots of acne. 1st sem - Failed 3 subjects;1 super major subject, 2 minor. 2nd sem - Failed 3 again; 1 major, 2 minor. Seems like I can still fix it, right? Never told anyone.
Second year college. Enrolled the failed subjects. Didn't have the guts to go to that major subject class. Depression hit (at least I think. Can never afford therapy. Never crossed my mind. Stopped going to school altogether. Didn't finish first sem. Never told anyone. Cut contacts to my friends in college.
3rd year (at least supposedly)
Too ashamed to go to said university to go enroll. Never told anyone. Faked going to classes. Faked grades for tuition (fuck me, right?). xClassmates reached out to boyfie. Now he knows. Just us. He too is out of school for almost the same reasons. Kept each other strong (i guess).
4th year. Finally got enrolled. Was happy again for a short time. Architecture again. Got a warning (because no Leave of Absence). No failing grades. Only enrolled 3 subjects. My first failed subjects. Never got to the third one, because its sched was on a Sunday, 8am - 5pm and I was lazy (can you believe it). Never felt that my work was good enough. Never connected to any classmates. Half-assed works got to me and then just dropped it all again. I stopped feeling. But there was always the expectation of my parents. Now BF doesn't know again. I'm alone again. I guess I'm dropped from the list of my Uni('cause of the warning) but not sure, cause I never went. I'm always plagued by thoughts. I don't know what I should study. I don't want archi now. I'm kind of a perfectionist and I can't accept my below average works. It's killing me.
If I do nothing after 2017, I'll kill myself.
thanks.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
A Positive Post! Saw a little while back that they hoped to see more positive sounding posts on this thread so here's one:
After several weeks of CBT, I can say that I'm starting to see signs of real improvement. But at that same time it feels weird to feel normal as my normal for the past couple months has been me as an anxious wreck. Which I still am but there I days when I actually feel fine! And also, I feel like CBT has had a marked impact on my personality in a real positive way; I feel like the self reflection I've done has helped me become more even-tempered and understanding in a lot of my interactions with others. But I can't stress enough how much I hope everyone else on this thread sees similar success in their lives and if any of you are on the fence about seeking professional help in therapy, I highly recommend it because it absolutely can work for some!
|
self.Anxiety
|
So today I’m battling with my mind. It would be so easy just to not be here anymore. To take those pills and it would all be over. I’m not scared just completely numb. I feel like I’m on a knife edge just one action and it’s all done
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Just waiting for the other shoe to drop It's a been a long while since the revolving door stopped. The endless brigade of smiles and light laughs made me feel stoic. Everyone was the same; faceless blurs with the same wants and desires. A warm bed, a light hold and a smile meant for no one else in that moment but for them.
It's been 2 weeks but I can say I'm quite enamored. I think it's still too soon to save you on my contacts on my phone. Unless you tell me you saved me first I don't think I'll ever save you as my contact. It's been a while since I felt like I'm not just a visitor in someone's life. Though I wonder if you feel like a resident rather than a traveler in my own embrace.
*On another tone.* I'm thinking about you a lot, it's really irksome. I hate having my day disrupted. It's so irksome. With my last boyfriend I was okay with spending only 1-2 days at a time with him a week. I want to spend like 3 days a week with you. Irksome. What a problematic feeling to have with someone I've only known for 2 weeks.
|
self.offmychest
|
How do you deal with the Mental Illness stigma? [removed]
|
self.depression
|
I need to help a friend but don't know how [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
So depressed some times it feels like my heart physically hurts and I don't care I hope whatever it is kills me Ive had depression for ever I learned how to cope with it and live with it very early and recently me and my gf split are ways after 2 years of loving each other and I feel so bad I wanna say sorry but at the same time I know that depression wont let me have the relationship is wont let me have anything it will break every thing i have tell i take my life cause i have nothing
|
self.depression
|
I don’t want to be with my husband anymore [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
my best friend is going through a hard time and i feel terrible. [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
Just got broken up with and I'm worried about how I will cope [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
I just cut myself for the first time in 6 years. [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Seasonal bipolar disorder?? Anyone only gets manic in summer or spring? I’m suspecting that my bipolar disorder has a SAD component to it. Now that I’m on meds I don’t get depressed very often but I do slightly get depressed in winter. Wonder if there’s any resources out there about this?
|
self.bipolar
|
I’m angry about a lot but an Instagram message sent me over the edge. [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
My name's Theodore. This is my confession. Let me begin with a disclaimer that I've never used Reddit before and I'm not privy to any existing protocol meant to be followed. English isn't my first language. And mine's a life I wouldn't wish on my worst of enemies.
My name's Theo, and I'm 23 years old. I feel human, though recurring patterns of slightly different, yet monotonously repetitive encounters with some of you make me question that judgment. At times, I feel as lonely and depressed as someone in my position deserves to feel. In others, I dismiss those thoughts as facetious musings of an idle mind. Ever since my childhood years I've felt a gaping disconnect with my peers that's bored a life-sized hole in my sanity; the depths of which would be impossible to define. I took out my rage whenever I could - the only possible way I could - on stray animals which I'd convinced my mother to be allowed into our home. I've harmed many. Wounded more. And killed beyond counting. This, despite never harbouring any intention to hurt; some of them I'd raised myself. I punched two holes in a baby sparrow's lungs before releasing it, somewhat shocked at what I'd done. It died in mere seconds, squealing as it left behind a bloody mess. I mauled a young pigeon - smashing its round head against my window repeatedly. Mother found its half-eaten carcass returning from work. I also incapacitated my pet rabbit for life once when I was home alone - its only fault being an infectiously bubbly, if slightly excessive enthusiasm. I've lost count of my sickly exploits, but have been blessed enough to have been delivered from those memories and urges in recent times. All this was merely my past - I haven't harmed anything for the past three years. And no one's ever found out.
I've been reasonably aloof throughout the course of my life, my only lens of looking at the world being an unrestrained, unhealthy, and desperate envy. I've hated as much as I've craved with a passion, the maddening happiness that I see in two lovers' eyes. Deep, meaningful, impossibly close relationships. Depraved and manic I may be deemed, but I've always wished, yearned, begged and prayed for that one little ounce of humanity. I've dared only to love once, but was denied. By her fear of me being the monster I seem. My inability to convince her otherwise left me all the more miserable. "I could be electrifying but possess no morals." I still glance through her texts on occasion, cherishing her refreshingly youthful, humble innocence. Though I might eventually have killed it. Jk.
None of my other relationships have lasted a year and I'd always preferred it that way. I've always craved something more. Something most people couldn't put a finger on. I've never been bullied or abused, nor have I hurt anyone, but I've always been the distant, unfeeling stranger who observed with a lustful envy - a world he couldn't experience. I'm a monster in a world of men, a monster who wants to love more than any man ever could. Dear Reddit, what do I deserve?
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I got drunk and ruined many friendships at once + Embarrassed myself in public [deleted]
|
self.Anxiety
|
Going back to school fulltime BP2 My mom has asked me if I would like to go back to school full time. I would like to but I'm afraid I'll fail because I have major concentration issues. The whole family I have had advised me to get off the meds (lamictal and Wellbutrin) and see if that helps. Any advice out there please.
|
self.bipolar
|
I think I am depressed but I am not sure I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me but I think I might have depression.
1) I love going out with friends. I am very active person, but lately for example even when I am laughin I suddenly stop and get very sad. I do not know what is wrong but I get very sad and I lose interest in doing everything.
2) Lately I can not focus. I have never been fun of doing homework but I was always doing it. Now I just can't I am just laying bad instead of doing homework. You might say I am been lazy but also I am music producer and I absolutely love music, but lately I just can't. When I sit down I just can't focus on it and I end up going to bad after 15 minutes.
3) I am sleepy all the time and I am sad most of the times. I do not have specific reasons but I am.
4) I became very insecure. It feel like my friend do not like me. I feel like they do not want me to be around them and I just do not know why.
5) Most of the times on weekdays I am just laying on my bad and listening sad music and I feel like I am wasting my time.
Sorry I think I do not make any sense at all but rn I am feeling really bad and can't think properly.
|
self.depression
|
Antidepressants and sexual ability? I hope this is the right place to post this... I'll give it a try.
I've been "warned" several times that antidepressants can affect one's sexual ability. I started my medication (sertralin) for the first time 2 months ago and ever since then I find it more difficult to reach orgasm... I rarely even feel the urge to satisfy my sexual needs anymore.
Ha, I have a hard time to express myself about this properly, but I hope someone gets it. I'm curious to hear if someone else experience some sort of sexual dysfuntion linked to medication? In case it's worth mentioning, I'm a F21.
|
self.depression
|
I don't have any sense of identity! I've never felt like I've had any sense of identity, everyday I feel like a bland human being who is just here to work for other people until I die.
One of my best friends is a lesbian and she has a great sense of identity, I'm been thinking of going gay just for the sake of having an identity because right now, I just feel like bland white straight guy number 500,000.
My life is nothing but boring and uninteresting. You have to be someone different in order to be happy. I've considered becoming a woman, or like I said before, turn gay!
But I guess that can not happen. So I'll just kill myself instead.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I love the support from r/depression. Thank you for all the support you guys and girls gave me at my lowest.
I don't know where I'd of been without this sub-Reddit.
|
self.depression
|
Hopefully this helps me. It’s a long story (This all happened within the span of 4 months)
It was a couple years ago. I met this woman at a restaurant, she was a waitress and seemed like a great person. My friends and I enjoyed her service so much, that we invited her to our church, and to our surprise, she came that following Sunday.
Over the next two months she developed a friendship with us, but took a strong liking to me. It got to the point where people in the church were pulling me to the side and asking if we were in a relationship, now, we had a lot of chemistry but the idea of jumping into a relationship with someone I’d only “known” for 2 months seemed too fast in my opinion. Plus, she had just gotten out of a relationship herself, so I felt it might’ve been too soon We went on a couple dates to know more about each other whenever she’d be free from her work and school schedules. Myself, I’m disabled, however I have a college degree if I can ever get passed my limitations. I wanted to enjoy life before I seeked work or continued with school at that time. but we managed to make time for each other. She even swung by my house and bought me some new shoes and met some of my family members. I was uncomfortable because my family is a little odd and details too much information sometimes about past relationships of theirs and things of that nature. She didn’t seem bothered by this.
That Sunday after she met my family. She pulled one of my friends to the side at church and had a private conversation that I had no idea about until later. she said she only views me as a great friend, nothing more. My friend warned her that if that’s how she felt, then she needed to tell me, before I developed any more feelings. Unfortunately, we never had that talk. So I still was optimistic about everything, but didn’t know what had happened.
About a week or two after that private conversation, She invited her friend to church. I’m polite and introduce myself and get to know him. He’s older than both her and I, he had no job and didn’t go to college and seemed to have no aspirations. I’m not the type to judge but that just seemed awkward to me. Slowly but surly, she spends more time with him and within a month of me meeting him, she dates him. In spite of her family’s disappointment in him, within a month of dating, they get married. She didn’t have any conversation with me to tell me she only views me as a friend, which I would’ve been fine with, but to lead me on and leave me without any warning or anything, bothers me still to this day. I still have guards up when it comes to meeting new people. Maybe I’m wrong, but I never got closure. It’s been 2 years Typing this and maybe getting some advice from the community is/could be helpful. Thank you for reading
|
self.offmychest
|
Appetite loss with new lithium dose A few weeks ago, my psychiatrist bumped me to 1200mg of lithium carbonate a day. I was on 600mg lithium for a year (cuz my past psych was a dipshit) and was up'd to 900mg no problem last month. I am also taking 150mg venlafaxine xr (depression) and 300mg gabapentin (depression pain) daily.
With the increased dose, my symptoms are gone! I want to cry because I feel so good for the first time in a decade!
The problem is that my appetite has completely disappeared. I'll be starving, make some food, and lose any desire to eat when i sit down with it. My twin visited for a week, made me super tasty food, but most of the time I could only eat a third of what was on my plate. The only foods I can seem to eat easily are high fat or high salt foods (think fries, chips, pastries etc), nothing that will keep me full or give me a ton of nutrition.
Plus, now I'm exhausted because I have no energy to burn. I've lost 6 pounds in less than 2 weeks. What am I to do? I don't want to get of the meds because I finally feel good, but I don't want to deprive my body of nutrition.
Do you think it will go away with time? Has anyone else dealt with this?
(thankfully, I'm overweight, so losing some poundage won't hurt, I mostly worried about nutrition)
|
self.bipolar
|
I'm feeling like a loser I've been feeling so depressed lately, I can barely get out of bed, and I feel like I haven't accomplish anything, I'm 24 years old, but haven't graduated from college yet, been trying for a while but I aways give up on my classes, and I aways wanted to go abroad after finishing it, but who would hire a guy that took 7 years to finish a 4 year course?
I'm from Brazil, and the whole country seems to be going down the drain...
I'm from a poor family, I'm able to go to college because there are federal universitys, witch are free... But I'm failing hard on everything...
I live with my girlfriend, and I have been unemployed for about a year now, I'm tired of not having money you now? Like, at least to be able to pay my bills for myself...
There are so many things going wrong, I'm just trying to get some of it out of my chest...
|
self.depression
|
Is this the end? I have been with my SO for nearly 11 years now. We have been together since we were 16 years old. Engaged at 17 years old and married at 22 years of age.
I love my husband so much but we are so different now that we have nothing in common anymore. I am so chatty and outgoing, he is quiet shy and will happily sit in the house all the time. I love getting out meeting people and having fun.
We can be in the house in the evenings or on a Sunday together and he can say nothing to me. I just want a natter about nothing really. He doesn’t have any intimacy with me and tenses even when I hug him good night. I need more in my life than the odd grunt every now and then like you would get from a teenage lad.
I honestly don’t know what I would do without him but I also can’t go on living in silence and feeling unloved. I have told him how I feel and he just says he doesn’t know if he loves me and that I could leave and he doesn’t think he would care.
Any ideas on what I can do? Or do I go?
|
self.offmychest
|
Physical effects of anxiety How do you deal with the physical effects of anxiety? I find that even with the techniques I've been given like deep breathing and thought challenging I'm having a lot of trouble with the lingering effects even after I feel like I've calmed down. Just wanted to hear other people's opinions on dealing with them.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Tired. I just want someone in the world to know what's going on in my mind right now. I'm 23 years old now and I am so tired of living. I have been depressed for the longest time that I don't know what it's like to be really happy. I am sick and tired of laying down on my bed every night without thinking of what could have been my life if only I did good in school, if only I didn't lose contact to all of my best friends, if I was never lazy, if I was not dumb, if I was not ugly, if I was good at something, if I was not everything I am right now. The worst part is, I am to blame for all of my failures in life. I was young and stupid so bad that I lost motivation to everything. In high school, I was not able to get in my dream school because my dumbass did not even apply. In college, I was depressed and didn't care for shit that I got in to a crappy college and applied to a degree that I did not like. After I graduated, I just then realized what I really want to be is to become a doctor but everything was too late for me because I got low grades that will just put me in shame if I even try to apply to medical school. I am now working on a low to decent paying job and currently supporting my family (parents). Even if I know my family does not really care about how I feel and what I wanted to be, I still love them so much that I can't leave them. Even if I leave them where else do I go? I have no single friend to tell my problems to, basically I don't have anyone to talk to at all but here. Relationships sound interesting but I am never up for it. Probably because nobody deserves to be with me.
With all of these shit going on in my life, I seek refuge to sleeping. It is the only activity which I consider as a way out to my life full of regrets and failures. I don't want to give up and I want to pick myself up but every time I try, I feel like life doesn't let me. I just want another chance but life seem to not give it to me. Though I promise myself that I will not make it to 30 simply because of my life choice (doesn't have anything to do with my depression. I love my family so much as they are the only ones that I know that I got and I refuse to see any one of them go first) but it seems like everyday that I live, every day is a failure, every day is full of regret that I wanted to die right now. I don't know if I believe if God exists but one thing I know for sure is, heaven or hell is what you make your own life to be. And I made my life hell because of me. I have had mental breakdowns which is getting worse everytime. I really want to die so bad but I am too scared at the process which is really pathetic.
To all of the people who read this, thank you so much for reading. Now I know that I exist to some people in the world. It feels good to finally say things which is always on my mind even if I am not good at expressing myself or my thoughts in any form of communication. I am still trying but if I reach my limits, I will post again to say my final thoughts. Thank you.
|
self.depression
|
Depressive episode feels like it's gonna stay for good [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Anyone here manage their illness without meds? I have Bipolar type 2, diagnosed last year, and manage my illness without meds. I manage by continually checking in with myself and assessing my mood/reactions to things, keeping routine, sleep routine, diet, exercise (my saviour), sunlight, avoiding alcohol (my kryptonite), and avoiding triggers. I'm unable to take medication as I'm too sensitive to them. Trialling medications has destroyed my life too many times to count.
Just wondering if anyone else is similar in their approach, and curious why you can't or don't take meds, if you're successful in your self-management, and any other tips you may have.
|
self.bipolar
|
Relationships as someone with type 2 I am diagnosed bipolar typ2 since 18. I'm in my first real relationship of my life (going on 2 years). She is completely understanding of the disorder and has been there for me every time i have fallen. I find myself wanting to escape from it though. I have tried to break up twice due to what I feel was a severe depressive episode.
I'm not sure what to take from that though. Every time i start getting sad I lash out and get irritated with them. I want to attribute it to me trying to get people who get to close back away from me. I have a hard time with commitment, especially when I get hypomanic. I just want to only have the relationship when i want it and I know that isn't fair but i can't convince myself otherwise. I just feel like such a mess trying to sort out my own inner thoughts and feelings. Feel like I have to question it all.
Anybody else just have this kind of random rambling dialogue in their head all the time?
|
self.bipolar
|
my brain keeps finding reasons for me to cry for every small minute issue - if its even counted as an issue. I have this thing where i keep calling “mom” many many times, but everytime she replies me i have nothing to say at all. but the moment after she turns around after replying me, i call for her again. if anyone could debunk why i do that it’ll be great too.
So just now i called for her approximately 5 times and on the 5th time she just didn’t bother to turn around anymore but she still replied me. so then my brain just registered a “even mom doesn’t care about you anymore. you’re not loved and you’re so so so alone in this world” and then its a downward spiral of overthinking, believing it, and feeling miserable. help me?
|
self.depression
|
I really wish I could learn mathematics and physics. [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Scared to go to sleep I had a really good day today and I’m scared to go to sleep because I’m terrified that I’ll wake up and have a down day and not do well on my exam and not be in the mood for sex tho it’ll be the last day i get to see my gf in a while
|
self.bipolar
|
anxiety making things sound muffled? I have had a really bad stint of anxiety and every one of my perceptions has been effected negatively but one that really bothers me is my sense of sound.. all of my favorite songs sound very muffled and unfull and like they are very bad sound quality, even though they are 320 they sound like 64 kbps etc..
anyone ever experience this? its very disheartening.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Feeling really cynical today and overthinking everything. Thinking of all the friendships that have fallen apart, people who have broken my trust, how hard it is to trust, regretting opening up to certain people, cringing at the thought of the times I have opened up and that person using my weaknesses against me...
Sometimes I just want to shut out the whole world minus a very few select people. Damn...
(sorry for being negative) I sure have had a strong life lesson this year in opening up to people. Best to keep your thoughts to yourself, a therapist, or one totally trusted person.
|
self.depression
|
I am a failure in all aspects of my life [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
This was never for you. Throughout my life, I've had very low self-esteem. People would tell me I was fat, ugly, that I needed plastic surgery, I needed to slim down, makeup looked hideous on me, and a slew of other things that jabbed at my appearance. I was told these things from childhood well into adulthood in my mid-20s.
I was told I needed to be skinnier or prettier to get a job, that I looked too masculine, my new haircut made me look less feminine, or that my sense of style was bad.
As an adult, I made it a goal to lose the weight I had gained from stress and unhealthy habits during my university years and have kept that goal quite well. That goal has shifted to me wanting to be stronger and in better shape in general.
However, I would still find people telling me that lifting weights made me less attractive, that my arms were too bulky, that I was still not skinny enough, and that I should cut my hair less because of how unfeminine it makes me look.
You know what?
This is not for you.
I don't care if people think my arms are too bulky, if they think I need to "slim down" and count my calories. I don't care if my haircut makes me look "less feminine" or if I'm not wearing enough or too much makeup.
I like to eat, I like to run, and I like to do weights at the gym. I put on makeup, I keep my hair short, and I wear what I like. I do what I want, I don't need anyone else to tell me otherwise about how I look and how I live.
I'm not doing these things for you. I'm doing them for me.
|
self.offmychest
|
i was stood up i feel shattered, it didn't really hit me right there and just returned home feeling a bit nauseated and dizzy. I had to ask for the day off today though, I feel I am going under... I just want to sleep away all the sadness.
|
self.offmychest
|
Help with deciding whether to go to the hospital. I feel like I should be there. I'm not stable. I need to take a few days out of life. Would it just be more trouble?
|
self.depression
|
I get stress ulcers in my throat Does anyone else get ulcers in their throat (or anywhere.)?
Its so painful and I get them perpetually because I'm perpetually anxious. They are usually worse around the holiday season and winter.
I went to the doctor and they said there really isn't anything they can do. I just have to wait them out and they usually last around a week or 2.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I'm not good at anything And it's too late now. I'm at my prime age. It's only downhill from here. Can't take up football because I won't be able to play college football because I'm already going to college and haven't been recruited for sports, which would have required me to play since I was 5 years old and dedicate my life to it. Sure I can take up something else and dedicate my life to it and miss the best years of my life in the next couple of years, when others are Olympians and NFL players and I'm still learning the basics. Not worth it.
I could do something non-physical but the same thing is true for the Math Olympiads, and those are not nearly as sexy as sports. Not worth it.
I've been sitting on my ass for all my life and I think I'll just continue.
|
self.depression
|
Fear of the dark... Or something like that.
My sleeping arrangements are a little unusual for a man in a long term relationship with a 'live-in' girlfriend. I sleep on my own, in the spare room, on a single blow up mattress. This is quetiapines fault. It makes me shake, fidget, breath heavily, dries out my sinuses and generally makes me a terrible person to share a bed with. So I volunteer myself to sleep on my own.
My quetiapine has recently been reduced from 700mg at night to 400mg. It's stopped doing its thing. I lay awake much later than I used to (in fact I never laid awake on 700!).
Finally, I can get to my point; I am genuinely scared at night. Scared someone will gain access to our flat (despite have secured entry, cctv, and being on the end of the last corridor on the top floor), or that something inanimate will come to life. I know they are irrational fears but that doesn't make it easier.
What does one do to face unrealistic fears? It's not like I can go face to face with a doll that's about to come to life to see that it's 'not that bad after all'.
I miss sleeping and I hate being unable to sleep through fear
|
self.bipolar
|
Talking to myself Whether I have consciously or unconsciously pushed people away, I am now here alone. Questions cloud my mind such as will I ever be the person that I once was? Will I ever feel some sort of acceptance from myself and from others? Will all of this become too much and I end up killing myself because of it? Ive started to self destruct and I am now drinking almost everyday. I cry because I dont know what else to do and there seems to be no hope left. I feel stuck and I know that this cant last much longer. Its been about a decade now and time is ticking.
|
self.depression
|
They say it gets better after high school, but... It’s my senior year and I just want a group of friends to hang out with and have inside jokes with. Goddammit it sucks so much being friends with so many fucking people and not being close to a single one of them. I can’t even call myself a loner because I talk to so many people at school.
I was supposed to go all out senior year. I wanted to have the greatest “last” summer break, I wanted to carve pumpkins for Halloween and go to a haunted house. I wanted to have a FriendsGiving and I wanted to make a gingerbread house. I wanted to go to a crazy New Years party and count down to 2018. But nobody ever thinks of inviting me because I’m at best a second tier friend to every person I know.
It just sucks.
|
self.depression
|
Weekend weight gain again and again I’m on 40mg of Latuda, and it has made me gain weight-over and over again. I’ll loose 7lb really easily, but over a weekend of completely normal eating, I’ll be back to square one AGAIN! It’s such bull crap! I’m just pissed and felt like posting here would make me feel a little better. Whatever. I guess I just have to work harder. 😔😤👹
|
self.bipolar
|
I can’t keep living like this anymore I just want to die and everything I’ve tried has failed. I have no life and no friends as I’ve pushed them all away I just need to be put out of my miserable life once and for all
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
tired my mom died when i was young and it messed my head and my dad isnt around either he is living overseas , he as also not been apart of my life from the beginning because he went away before my mom died i am currently living with my granparents ..... sometimes i just feel desserted , like i have one to turn to ,no one to explain my fears to..... i often cry myself to sleep i always ask god if he could just give me one day with my mom just to feel her touch ,her warmth i just want my mom to be here with me .......... each time i ask my relatives how she died everyone has a different story ....i am a straight A+ & B+ student now my grades are no a toll i think that its because i am getting older my eager is getting greater each day .... i often feel like to just end my life and be with here
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I want to kill myself. I dont think I will go through with it, but I felt like I needed to tell someone. [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Fuck people who say that "God does not give us more than we can handle" [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Not sure if this belongs here I’m not sure if This belongs here but I really feel like bashing my head against the glass door. I’ve told my psychiatrist. But don’t know what else I can do. I’m not sure if it’s frustration and anger towards myself. I’m not sure what to do in this case.
|
self.depression
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.