text
stringlengths 39
36.7k
| label
stringclasses 5
values |
|---|---|
I just destroyed two of my few friendships for no reason. I don't have very many friends. Only four actually, and they have all been made online. Well last night, I completely blew up on two of them over absolutely nothing, and said some terrible things to people who have been nothing but nice to me, even when I don't always deserve it. And now they've gone and probably blocked me from any form of contact, and my attempt at an apology has probably gone unread.
I always do this, by some stroke of luck make a friend, build it up over 18 months, and then push them away and hurt them while I do it. And the result is always the same. I lose a friend and feel awful afterwards. I don't know what is wrong with me or what I can do. I'm a terrible person and honestly probably don't even deserve any friends.
|
self.depression
|
It's taken a lot, but I'm finally broken. The past 18 months haven't been amazing for me. To make a long story medium sized, my dad died when I was pregnant, I had sepsis during labour and my son and I nearly died and spent weeks in intensive care, and I lost my job when I was on maternity leave. So far so crappy but you just keep moving.
At the end of last year my sister tried to kill herself and is still in an inpatient mental health facility. My two nieces are living with me for the moment. Hard situation but we're coping.
I was offered a great job, yay!!!!! I officially start next week. The girls will be in school and I have sourced and paid up front for childcare for my one year old. This left me a bit short and I had nowhere to turn to for a loan. Bank said no because of previous unemployment, government agencies won't help because my new wage is too high.
I turned to Reddit and a wonderful redditor offered a loan, which didn't happen because PayPal put a hold on the funds for 21 days. We tried to work round it but in the end I just refunded him. There was nothing either of us could do because who wants to sent a bank transfer to someone they don't know? Nobody is the answer to that, lol. He needed to be sure he would be repaid and I totally get that. I was appreciative of the offer.
So here we are. I've had a bad year, but nothing is insurmountable so I've just got up and gone on with things. Turns out £200 is the amount it takes to finally break me. I can provide for the kids but I'm starting a new job with only one suitable outfit and no money until the end of the month. I just feel defeated.
Thanks for listening Reddit.
|
self.offmychest
|
Fuck ambition and greater aspirations. I'm just striving for normality. That's all I want.
Sorry, I just felt like saying that. Hopefully someone else gets it.
|
self.depression
|
EA... I need to get this off my chest. So I bought Star Wars Battlefront 2 and I regret my decision and now im part of the problem. I never supported loot boxes or pay to win. And I bought it digitally and I cant return the game.
|
self.offmychest
|
Prozac not as effective now after about year and half of use. Any help or support is very much appreciated. Thank you 18 yr old female. I’ve had depression for quite a long time. Been handling it pretty well the past two years or so. The past two weeks I’ve felt no motivation and an extreme self-loathing. Everything I used to like is meaningless now and I can’t even get myself to go to work most days. I can’t tell if I need a med change or just what. Last four days have been absolutely awful and I have been slightly suicidal. I have a major decrease in appetite and my mania has random surges. I honestly don’t know what’s going on.
Past medicines: Zoloft, abilify
Current: topimax, Prozac (40mg), mononessa, lamictal
|
self.depression
|
Sometime, for no reason, I get washed over with an almost instinctual need to kill myself. Everything will be going fine, I'll be with family or friends or even just alone, going about my day. And then all of a sudden, I have such an urge to just off myself- I can't even think about living another day. Is anyone else like this sometimes?
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I stopped smoking and I can feel my blood boilling. I smoked weed and tabacco for almost a year, around a g almost every night, with a puff before my 45m commute to work.
It's not the first time I stopped and it probably won't be the last. It's just a tolerance break.
It's been a few days since I stopped smoking in the morning and only a very light one to finish my stash at night. I'm used to mix in tabacco and this feel more like a nicotine withdraw, I feel snappy, angry. I want to punch people and can barely focus to work. I have a tingling sensation around my upper body, shoulder and arms, like invisible shaking.
As I said it's not the first time, while not used to it I knew this was comming, but this time using work to take things out of my mind is not working since I'm bored with my job right now (working software in retail, there's a feature freeze before sales. Plus general incompetence and indecisions from the guys upstairs means we're never in a rush).
For the week I'm trying to keep my distance with my coworkers because I don't want to snap at them. I'm pretty sure they know I smoke from time to time, but not enough to experiment withdrawal nor to explain the rage building up.
|
self.offmychest
|
This 3 day wknd at school is making me feel even more lonely I’m just sitting here with no one to hang put with and i just don’t know what to do.
|
self.depression
|
I have two tests on Monday, court on Tuesday and another test on Wednesday and I've done literally nothing all weekend [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
How is a way to get rid jealousy/insecurities? Recently I’ve been feeling a bit emotional. It ranges from insecurities with my boyfriend to jealousy when I am not getting his attention . I know its not healthy. I wasn’t like this, promise. Some how it feels like together we’re irritable because of my passive aggressive comments. Any suggestions
|
self.offmychest
|
Has Anyone Ever Tried Herbs/Teas to Ease Anxiety? Has it Helped?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Alli want is to kill myself But the guilt of hurting others stops me. Why do I have to live for them? As shitty as it is I wish everyone would die so I finally could too. I'm tired of carrying on this hopeless pointless existance of suffering and burdening everyone around me. I just want to fucking die already.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Feeling more depressed on Cymbalta Hi there,
I've been taking Cymbalta for about six months now and I'm starting to suspect it's worsening my depression. I started out on 20mg (I'm quite sensitive) and recently increased to 40mg and then 60mg about a month ago. I also took 5mg of Ability with it for about four months but stopped due to feeling constantly restless. Lately I've been having more trouble getting out of bed, like I never fully wake up, my body feels heavy, and I'm having trouble maintaining my hygiene. I'm also having trouble focusing at work (even though I like my job) and I'm panicky because I feel so numb all the time.
I'm hoping to give Latuda another try if my insurance will cover it. I took it once before and it helped a ton, but I stopped because I had trouble taking it regularly (I think it'll be easier now because I have a different job).
Has this happened to anyone else? I can't tell if the Cymbalta is making things worse or whether I just need to take more. I thought the main risk was triggering mania, not worsening depression.
My current diagnosis is BPII.
|
self.bipolar
|
[TW] I had a bad day I cut my arm again for the first time in almost 6 months. Graduate school is making me want to quit everything. I'm in a tough place now, so that I can be in a better place a year from now. But I just wake up every morning wishing I could quit.
Any encouragement would be welcomed.
|
self.bipolar
|
How am I supposed to date when I overthink and overanalyze everything said and done to the point of self-sabotage? [deleted]
|
self.Anxiety
|
Ways to relieve the anxiety part of my disorder? [deleted]
|
self.bipolar
|
I’m breaking down. I just got kicked out of law school, I’m already in my third year, and in the past semester, I’ve been performing so poorly that I failed two subjects which prompted the department to kick me out of the program. I am such a wreck right now, I am an embarrassment to my family, I’m having trouble with my job, with salary way below the minimum. Nothing’s working out in my life, I have no friends to ask for help and comfort and support, I cannot take this anymore, why am I stupid? Can’t even pass a subject? Why am I so miserable? Why can’t I be successful and be happy? Why am I so petty? I know for you reading this, this is only a small thing but I’m really struggling right now.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I’m sorry that I only have the courage to say something when I’m drunk [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
Merry Xmas I will love her when we become “just friends”, I’ll still love her when she decides to push me away, if one day she forgets about me I’ll remember those memories and cherish them. The good and the bad times. I’ll eventually find a new love, but i will never forget my love for you.
|
self.offmychest
|
A decade It's been 10 years of the most excruciatingly painful anxiety disorder.
I am 21 years old, and I haven't lived a day without intense anxiety in years. I'm currently at day 31 of consecutive chest pains, caused by anxiety. I haven't had a lucid day, with clear and positive thoughts in a long time .
I am so ready to die. It's all I fucking want. I've had serious bouts of anxiety before, but as a youth, I had way more support. This is completely different. I don't need encouragement or positive messages, though I appreciate the sentiment. I need to talk to someone who's had what I have and come out on the other side alive.
If you learned how to cope with it.. hmu..
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
How do i know what's real? Please help. Newly diagnosed. I broke up with my BF of 8 years suddenly. Seemed completely out of the blue and I started to regret my decision after recently spending time with him. This is a pattern with me. Everything is great and then the next minute, I don't want to be with him. How do I know what's real? Is this normal with people with Bipolar?
|
self.bipolar
|
I want to kill myself right now. My pet parrot is the only thing stopping me. [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Mental Gold Are you diagnosed with a mental illness? Do you practice good self-care? Do you have a healthy support system, take your medication and visit your doctor and therapist regularly? Have you found success in life despite the uphill battle? Welcome to [Mental Gold](https://reddit.com/r/MentalGold), a community of redditors thriving with mental illness!
|
self.bipolar
|
Latuda Community- I have been on 18 medications and none have worked. I’ve battled this illness - bipolar II for the past 12 years- with mostly deep depressions and some hypomania (spending sprees, increased passion, irritability, anxiety).
I’m now on Latuda 40mg, klonopin 4mg and I’m scared.
I’m scared because I’m worried about side effects.
I know these questions are dangerous bc every is so different; but has anyone successfully decreased their depression from bipolar illness with Latuda?
I’m desperate because my depression is so bad- I’m numb, I’ve lost interest in everything that used to bring me pleasure, I have major cognitive issues and have extreme exhaustion.
|
self.bipolar
|
Long-term girlfriend said she's scared that she will come home and find me dead. Dunno where to start I feel a mess...
After losing my grandad (mums dad) who was my best friend and closest relative when I was 6-7 , my mother regularly beating me, screaming at me like a banshee, ripping t-shirt off my body, throwing a scalding mug of coffee over me, she stalking me when I left the house sometimes, beaten with fire extinguisher at school, randomly slapped/punched/attacked in the street at 13, car of lads throwing bricks at me whilst walking to school) I then many years later had 2 motorbike accidents in 5 months, 1 car crash (all non fault) and multiple surgeries and then finding I have an incurable, inherited joint disease I feel my life is going downhill rapidly now.
I have seen therapists for trauma from bike crashes and then had to change therapist as she couldnt deal with my issues as I had car crash mid-treatment. I was seeing a therapist for the best part of a year and made no progress I'm back on NHS waiting list.
I can't stand the area I live currently as my last crash happened almost outside our house and then a guy got murdered for telling local scumbags to stop making noise at midnight. I've been wanting to get away and found I do best around animals, countryside, no one else around etc.
Basically last night she said she can't take it anymore and is scared she will come home from work to find that I've killed myself. That hit me hard.
I've only semi tried to kill myself once earlier this year when I had to take painkillers for pain in my hand/legs/neck I found my work knife on my desk and instinctively held it to my throat. I started to slice and my throat. I didn't get very far before I realised what I was doing and launched the knife away from me and ran to my bed to calm down and there I passed out. Woke up 4 hours later and rang my doctor. I was changing antidepressants at the time too so I'm not sure if that mixed with pain meds sent me over the edge, but that was it for me.
The doctor told my therapist and yeah I don't understand honestly why I did it.
I'm not suicidal atm, but have been reading SW, I'm just struggling to deal with this and what my partner said last night haunts me today.
I'm on the queue for more NHS treatment and should get some before Christmas, but before then I've got my birthday to get through which I always struggle with.
Is it worthwhile getting private help? I can't afford it and I don't want my partner to pay for it either.
tbh not sure why im posting I just feel at last chance saloon right now.
Cheers.
|
self.depression
|
Do you feel like this to? Yesterday was all good, just a normal day. Today is not. I am the exact same person that I was yesterday, with the exact same life. If nothing was wrong yesterday, why the fuck is it wrong today?! I am very tired of this, this has been the cycle of my life. Yesterday I looked thin and muscular, today I look fat and flabby, yesterday I had a job I was passionate about, today I am a professional failure, yesterday I had a huge group of friends and family who I love, today I dont want to see anyone, yesterday I could get any girl I wanted, today-why would any girl even give me the time of day. This is what my depression is, one day my life looks fine, the next day it all falls apart. It may last a few days, weeks, months, it is a never ending cycle I would love to get out of.
|
self.depression
|
I was so close... I was sitting on the edge of building and one women pulled me off to safety... I am in hospital right now.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Small Victory Saturday 11.25.17 What did you accomplish this week? Let's share and celebrate our victories together!
|
self.bipolar
|
Girlfriend broke up with me Hello everyone. I've never done this before but I'm going through a really rough patch in my life. My girlfriend of 2+ years broke up with me seemingly out of the blue. What I don't understand is we went together like PB and J. We always got along, talked all day everyday and the conversation was always sparking no matter what. I'm not normally emotional, but this girl is the only person that I've meaningly said "I love you" to and the first person I've ever really committed my life to. And now I just feel broken inside. Everynight hurts because we'd always call eachother and talk about our days and end it by saying I love you and wake up to a good morning text. How can someone say and promise that they love you and always be there for you, then leave you them saying you need to focus on yourself. I don't know.... It feels weird knowing that I'll probably never talk, kiss or touch her ever again.....
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I’ve been taking Citalopram for a month and I’m not having a great time on them, has anyone changed from Citalopram and/or what worked for you?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Opened up to my girlfriend, afraid she'll treat me different or leave me. I felt like she deserved to know what's going on with me. But right after I told her my whole story I was filled with regret and I felt disgusting/pathetic because I told her about it...
|
self.depression
|
Thank God (and modern medicine of course) for anxiety pills Need I say more? I just went into a massive panic on my way home from work. Made it home on the hardest drive of my life, took the pill, jumped in the shower, and feel so happy this medicine exists.
|
self.Anxiety
|
This is my year, what was your year like? I think I could write posts about each of these posts, but I’m currently focusing on the future. I also just wanted to write one short post. This is why I’m just giving you a quick summary of some events that has happened this year. If you wish me to elaborate on anything, please, don’t be afraid to ask. I will happily share with you. Thank you for reading, and have a happy New Year’s Eve! I will perhaps write another post, depending on how I feel, later on as I may end up finding this evening to be quite challenging. New Year’s Eve isn’t exactly a highlight for me... oh, and I should add that I’ve hung out with someone outside of the family eight times this year. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it is indeed a record for me.
1.I fought with my father on numerous occasions (well, not so much fighting as me just verbally attacking me. A lot of anger, but he’s been a shitty father to me).
2. I vented out about my mental health issues to people I shouldn’t have (I can’t imagine it’s easy hearing things like that).
3. I did poorly during my exams as my mind was completely absent and I couldn’t focus,
4. I had a bad experience with therapy at the beginning of the year, but decided to return later on again due to my mental state only deteriorating. I saw someone else, and I have so far had a great experience with her.
5. Oh yeah, during the first six months I was either sad, had an empty feeling, thought people around me didn’t even care about me, or letting my OCD take over my life. I stopped driving, I wore gloves at all times (sometimes I even wore them while sleeping), didn’t take my jacket off except for when home, didn’t leave my room much... and surely some other stuff. This was primarily in January, February and perhaps March (OCD, I mean... well, at its worst. I always have symptoms).
6. I started seriously questioning my own sexuality. I have since reached the conclusion that I’m bisexual, but I’m primarily heterosexual. At the time, I’m not too interested in men. I don’t find them disgusting, but I don’t care much either. I’m thinking my sexuality is a weird one. It sort of changes all the time.
7. And I, once again, made it clear to my father that I do not wish to have any contact with him whatsoever. I’ve returned earlier because I’ve had so much anger inside of me, but I don’t feel that way anymore. The way I feel now, I will never reach out again. This is because I don’t have that same anger inside of me anymore.
|
self.offmychest
|
Anyone else taking Lexapro? I have a question I'm taking 5 mg in the morning, which can be bumped to 10 in a few more days. But I'm having pretty intense anxiety and depression in the evening. Usually I have downs in the evening, but I'm wondering with longer use if this will go away? Or would it help to take the pill in the evening? And advice?
|
self.depression
|
Always looking back with regret about not enjoying the moment. [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
I don't think my meds are working and I want to give up [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
I tried to kill myself As the title says I tried to kill myself yesterday. I sat on top of a dam for about an hour and tried to find the courage to jump - It would have been so easy to just make one step and to never be forced to feel the pain anymore. Yet I couldn't do it. Now I'm already back to planning my next attempt and to hopefully succeed.
I have everything sorted out - Goodbye letters, passwords for various accounts and devices including bank details to pay for my cremation etc., Essentially all the paperwork is done.
Now everything I need to do is to try it again - And this time I'll have the courage.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I am afraid of succes and it is slowly destroying my life I always loved acting and writing. In middleschool, with encouragement from teachers and mostly parents, i decided to write a book, at my 11 years of age.
It was humorous themed, and my parents actually decided to publish it. I didn’t become a disney child star, but it had a local impact.I even got on TV, miraculously.
Even if the book was a fair succes (most readers laughed and liked it, only few adults disliked its libertarian view on my country’s culture from an 11 y/o perspective), I got bullied hard by my classmates. I admit, my ego played a big part in it, but the truth is, my young mind couldn’t handle being a “celebrity”.
Almost all kids from my class laughed at me, denounced my work, saying my parents wrote it, and so on. This cripples me still today. I am afraid. Everytime i think about sharing a piece i wrote or telling my aquaintances about a play i’m in, I tremble. This is destroying my life.
Everytime i talk about me, i feel insecure. Sharing my work with others feels like a punishment. *This is it. A fucking book destroyed my chances of having succes.*
|
self.Anxiety
|
Scared to go to college I know when it starts, I'll be really social at first and make a lot of friends, because since I'm an extravert, I can just pull positive energy out of my ass whenever I'm in a social situation, especially a new one. But after a while, I get to comfortable, and my problems start bleeding through, even in social stuff. So I'll either end up pushing people away, draining them with my depression, or hurting them with my anger. And I'm just gonna sit back and let it happen, since I'm too apathetic to change anything. It seems like it'd just be better to become a hermit or die. I don't want to hurt anybody, but it seems inevitable.
|
self.depression
|
I feel like my life is a waste, i could have been so much more. In the end I can only blame myself for the way my life is. But there are some parts of my life that are not the result of my actions which makes me wish I could die and restart. Some people are born lucky and if I were in their shoes I could do so much more. This is how I feel right now . I feel like I have potential to do great things but I'm limited somehow.
|
self.depression
|
I quit my job today... Hi
So I graduated this past may and I continued school to get my masters. The problem was that the professor wasn't teaching one of the fundamental classes. And I don't mean like a dick of a professor. I mean that he would read the book verbatim to us, like we were in kindergarten. The subject was thermodynamics and it's all about problem solving with math and shit like that. So I had this professor who wouldn't do any examples, give us any kind of guidance. He just read every class. I understand that in master school you are on your own and have to investigate and whatnot, but the professor said "yeah this book that i chose is really bad, it has wrong examples and wrong solutions"
I had an assistanship and everything, but I had to quit because the stress of that class was affecting my physical health, not just mental.
Fast forward to November and I had applied for many engineering jobs, but got nothing. That's kinda normal in my field, but oh well.
I finally got a job as a translator. Pay and hours were shit but at least I had a job and I didn't feel that much of a mediocre.
Everything was fine in the first month, but then the stress from the job got to me and my panic attacks (that I hadn't had in 3 to 4 years) came back with a punch. I had to file for a disability and even then they didn't guarantee that I would go from full to part time.
This past week I missed two days because I couldn't function. I went to see my doctor and she increased my meds. I had time to think about the job in the weekend. I decided I would push through it bc I'm not a failure and I can do anything that I want to do. Or at least I thought. I also didn't want to be a disappointment to my parents because I quit the other job because of severe anxiety and I would be doing it for this one too.
I came in today with a positive attitude and a mindset that this job wasn't hard, I just had to sit there and take calls. That's it.
But then panic started happening again 1 hr into my shift... I talked to my parents and my bf about it and they said it was my choice.
After an hour I went with HR and submitted my resignation letter and I left...
I've been depressed and upset all day. I mean I did apply for more jobs today so I didn't just curl up in the darkness.
I got a phone all from my family and they said "well, what are you going to do? You quit the last job because of anxiety. I thought you had it under control. What about the next job, what if you can't handle that one either?" And I mean it kinda sucks to have your family tell you that, but they live in Mexico where disability is only for physical problems not mental. "You're not depressed, just lazy", "it's all in your head, you're not sick".
My dad told me to keep in mind that I can't do that in normal jobs. Before he could even finish the sentence I broke down and I said crying "don't you think I have it present every day when I did go to work? Don't you understand that I'm super frustrated and I don't know what I'm going to do job wise because this sucks. So don't think for a second that I forget that. I think about it all day, everyday."
He kept quiet and said "ok sorry, we can talk in person and see what we can do, okay? Just calm down, it's okay"
And so here I am.
I feel like a failure, a disappointment, that I can't accomplish anything, that I wasted my time and money on an engineering degree.
I don't know what to do...
Sorry for the long post, I needed to vent with people that actually understand.
Ps. My bf is very understanding so I do have some support. He's been trying to cheer me up or distract me all day.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Can’t do this anymore. I can’t seal with my illnesses anymore and I used reddit as a coping mechanism to keep me alive. People are so disgusting on this website and don’t realize what they say can do to someone. I have no one anymore and I am going to end it all.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
what is the least painful way to commit suicide [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
anxiety and a racing heart So here's where I'm at. A year and a half ago I wore a heart monitor for 2weeks because I smoked tainted weed that made my heart race for hours on end (mind you I had been smoking for 6 years at that point and been to Colorado and smoked some of strongest weed available. I preface this because someone will undoubtedly say I just smoked some strong weed this was definitely not the case.) and every thing came back fine. My cardiologist said that it was normal to have my heart rate to jump up to 130bpm for a little bit. After that I joined a gym and forgot about my heart. Fast forward to last july I had been having horible insomnia and my DR proscribed me marijuana because I have central sleep apnea and pot isn't central nervous system depressant. A few months of smoking and my anxiety flared up with a vengeance so I stopped smoking and I'm not nearly as anxious as I was but now I feel my heart racing all the time. So back to the cardiologist in late January and he had me wear a holter monitor for 2 days and again everything came back normal. I should also add since july I've become really inactive, I took my first walk around the block in almost 6 months yesterday and when I got back home my heart was racing like a mother fucker. Basiclly any time I walk up the stairs or now go for a walk my heart is just pounding away. Is this because I'm really out of shape and anxious?
|
self.Anxiety
|
How quickly do meds kick you out of psychosis? In my first manic episode, it only took Risperdal a few days to get me back to normal. However, a year later, I had another episode, the combo of Lithium and Invega (injection) took me three months to get out of psychosis.
|
self.bipolar
|
Searching symptoms online: according to the internet you’re already dead. This is something that I catch myself doing CONSTANTLY. And every time I either end up with stomach ulcers, throat cancer, hell this one time I had a bad burn on my hand and it pretty much said amputation should be in consideration.
It is a gifted curse to be anxious, we don’t take chances, but we over prepare and over analyze. If you feel sick or feel something is wrong, I have learned that time is on your side. Your body is smarter then you think and the brain can sometimes play tricks on your body. That’s just how we are wired. And that’s okay, it’s a gifted curse.
When it comes to really not feeling well, tell someone. If they tell you to “chill..” give it time. Let your body tell you what’s right not your brain, AND NOT WEBMD.
Love you all and stay Strong.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I don't care about life anymore I either kill myself or start a new life for away form where I live. [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Being chased by a dream that will never come true. Ever since I was little I wanted to sing. Since I could talk, I sang.
I've always liked to perform for people, but since I'm mediocre I always told myself there was no career in that
I love musicals, they make me happy, seeing them performed makes me miserable. I want to be up there doing that too, but I can't.
I don't have a fear of failure. I'm not scared of being rejected. Im scared of losing my job and being homeless.
People always say "if you want something bad enough just work hard and you'll get it" well I won't it won't happen and why even bother trying. I work full time, and to drop it all to be some homeless starving actor.
Sure people get along that way but not me. I have no back up plan. I barely graduated high school. This job is all I have without struggling to find another one and I'm doing pretty well for myself. I know i could find another but here goes my insurance and retirement, I don't have enough saved.
Yet every day I'm miserable. I feel like I'm being choked. I can't open my mouth or say anything. I can't actually be happy it's always a rough in between. Stuck between a shit and a shit on fire.
|
self.offmychest
|
My sister has depression and I don't know what to do [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Coping with depression. I’m curious to see what everyone does to cope with depression in there own ways. What works for y’all, what doesn’t work for y’all.
|
self.bipolar
|
Does anyone else have issues with their brain replaying traumatic physical injury? [deleted]
|
self.Anxiety
|
Went Manic All least week I felt it coming. All the signs were there. I gave everyone a heads up just in case it happened. Didn't sleep but an hour or so last night and woke up manic. Couldn't stop the thoughts long enough to concentrate which my work requires so I took a half day of telling them I had caught a bug of some sort. I will probably have to take tomorrow off too. I can handle mania, it's just the first couple of days that are hard for me. I'm so tired of the constant cycling. Also once this bottoms out comes the depression. I don't get to have a "normal" phase. I've spent most of my day babbling at people and crying for no reason. Decided to take an extra klonipin which will usually slow me down for a bit and allows me to sleep. Slept for about 20 minutes and woke up a fucking mess. I'm just tired of it. All of it. I don't want do this the rest of my life. I'm not suicidal yet, but that's only a matter of time. I'm so tired of this.
|
self.bipolar
|
Can't go #2 when anyone else is around me (desperate) Okay, so I'm a 19 year old male and over the last couple of years I've noticed I need more and more privacy to poop. It's gotten to the point that if anyone is even in the house, I can't go because I get so anxious and my bowels tense up.
Even if I physically try to go, my body just won't relax and let me when I feel I'm in the presence of others. I usually have to go to my grandparents house (they're often gone and I have the key) or just hope everyone has somewhere to be and I can find myself alone in my own home.
The straining of trying to go around people when I can't find somewhere private has resulted in tenesmus and rectal swelling. I'm a healthy body weight, eat better than 90% of teens my age, and don't have underlying bowel issues. However, my doctor believes this will cause problems later in life (no sh*t, it already is) and I just don't know how to overcome it.
I noticed by coincidence that If I take Valium or Lorazepam, my state of mind becomes altered and I can relax more, and I read that it supposedly cuts off the mind-bowel connection ["diminishing the GI system’s reaction to stress and anxiety"] , which explains it all. Unfortunately, that can't be a cure because obviously you can't take benzos long-term, everyday just for that. It's embarrassing and I just can't take it anymore. Help.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Still in bed at 7pm, rooms a mess, food everywhere, no sheets on my bed, havent showered in 3 days. No motivation to do anything, everything feels like a chore. Guess I'll go back to sleep
|
self.depression
|
Not sure what to do I’ve been depressed pretty much my entire life, I am now 17 and can’t take it much more. I’ve been getting help for years and telling them nothing works cause it doesn’t. I’ve been in and out of the hospital a lot but it never helps. I’m just not really in a safe place right now. The guns are locked up and I don’t know the code, do have a bunch of pills I could take but I don’t want to fail and end up being a vegetable. The amount of suffering I have been through is terrible and crazy. I remember my first suicide attempt when I was 7. I really don’t know what to do and I am just getting so tired of trying to survive. Ever since I came back to school after being in the mental facility, my friends haven’t talked to me or even really acknowledge me. Everyone leaves me out of groups at school when the teacher says to do assignments in groups. I feel like a huge failure 24/7. I just really wish I could give someone my life without the depression and fucked up genetic aspect because I don’t want my life. I can’t remember what it’s like to be happy. I have heard so many people give me reasons to live and they are all super cliche and overused. I just wish my meds and therapy would fucking work, same with all the other methods like meditation. I just wish I was dead when I was born and my parents hadn’t gotten that brain operation to save my life when I was 4. I regret everything I have done in my life. I remember being confident and healthy well over a year ago. I remember having fun with all of my friends. I really miss being happy and healthy. I gained so much weight from my medication in a month. I can’t seem to get it off and it makes me disgusted to look at my body, I used to not feel that way. I just really want to die but I am too much of a pussy and hate myself for it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing makes me happy. I’m about to go to bed and cry myself to sleep again. I just need some hope in my life.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
How should I respond to a girl I’m mad at So basically my school does these amazing trips every year and everyone who’s in grades 9-12 and in the band program can come. This year we’re going to Cuba.
Last year our class went to Whistler Ski Resort, and the rooms could have 4 people in them. My group of friends has 4 girls in it other than me and I got cut and ended up staying in a room with two girls that I hated and who hated me and one person I was on semi-good terms with. It was a nightmare and all my friends promised I would get first pick of roommates next trip because one night I was woken up at three am by one of the girls I hated screaming at me then throwing water at me and running.
Because the hotel we are all staying at this year needs to accommodate the most amount of people with the lowest price, everyone is staying in a room with one other person in a bunk arrangement for the week we will be there.
I had already asked my technical closest friend (we’ll call her Tyra) to be in the same room as me for this trip last year when the trip was announced, and she promised she would. A week ago another female friend (we’ll call her Annoying) that we were close with asked if Tyra would room with her instead. She texted me last night to tell me I would need to choose a different bunk mate as she would prefer to bunk with Annoying. We need to hand in our forms with who we want to bunk with by this Monday. I’ve already asked everyone I can tolerate in my grade and they’re either not going or already have long-standing plans to bunk with someone else. Tyra has doomed me to a repeat of last year in the worst way possible. I have no possibility of finding anyone decent in one day.
When I look at this situation logically, I know I can’t really be mad at Tyra because I shouldn’t force her to bunk with me, because that would make her unhappy or whatever and Annoying would also be unhappy because we’re her only friends as well so she would also have trouble finding someone. I would be the only person happy in that situation and then I would still only be marginally happy because I would know Tyra prefers Annoying. Technically where we are now is best because now only I’m unhappy and Tyra and Annoying are happy, making the ratio of happiness to sadness 2:1 instead of 1:2 like it would be the other way.
I am human though and I have emotions sadly so I can’t just approach the situation logically. I have emotions and I’m angry and I’m sad and I hate myself because I’m nobody’s favourite person or first choice. I’m annoying and hard to be around sometimes.
Just an hour ago she texted me and said that she was sorry. She hasn’t changed her mind that she prefers Annoying but she’s “sorry” so everything is hunky-dory right? No, I’m still pissed. The problem is I will have to see her tomorrow at Hockey. We always sit together and are on the same line together. I’ve been low key unhappy with her for a while but this is the final straw to me. I hate her and she’s awful but I technically can’t cut her off completely because I have a history of losing close friends and I don’t want my over involved parents to worry.
Tl;dr I made plans to room with my closest friend on a trip and she decided to go with someone else last minute meaning I will have to room with someone I hate. Needless to say I’m pissed
How do I reply to her saying sorry when I know she really isn’t while showing that I’m mad at her and yet over her in the most sassy, perfect way possible?
|
self.offmychest
|
I'm going to starve my self to death I decided I dont have the guts to outright kill myself so starving seems like a good idea. 7 years ago I felt very depressed but I didn't have a reason to be depressed, I decided at that point to starve myself to death, i got to 103 pounds (I'm 181cm, male) before i started feeling better with anti depressants I was taking, they really helped me, but before I didnt have a real reason to feel like this.
Now I do have reasons to die, so I wont stop at 103, I will be a sad sack of bones.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
CLOSER TO SUICIDE THAN EVER BEFORE I AM A GUY WHO IS SUFFERING FROM POST ORGASMIC ILLNESS SYNDROME AND RIGHT NOW I HAVE LOST ALL OF MY FRIENDSA AN DI HAVE BEEN CALLED MANY NAMES I HAVE BEEN ENDED UP IN MANY EMABRRASMENT SITUATIONS I CAN BARELY CAN LOOK MYSELF IN THE MIRROR SO CLOSE TO SUICIDE FUCK THIS WORLD FUCK ME PLEASE SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST KILL ME
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I can't wait for the day it finally happens [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Social media. For context, I'm 20 y/o
This is something that has caught my eye. The only social media that I use is either YouTube or reddit. I haven't used Twitter since 2014 and I can't remember the last time I logged in to FaceBook. I think SnapChat has to be one of the stupidest ideas in a long time, but teens and young adults love it.
|
self.offmychest
|
I just shaved my head I am in panic rn. I had a hypomanic episode, and I shaved all of my hair of. I didn't feel like me and didn't feel real so I thought it was a good idea. Now, a few days later, I am in PANIC. I don't know how I can go to work with this, without having a panic attack. I go to school, and the people are really supportive but im afraid my boss will hate me. I dont look ugly honestly, and i do like it. Its just that i look myself in the mirror and i just feel like I'm gonna puke. I want my hair back, and I wish I had only colored it like I use to. I'm also having a show in March, where I have to have hair, and my drama teacher is going to kill me. I honestly do not know what I'm gonna do, get a wig?? Oh how life is lovely
|
self.bipolar
|
i feel the lowest i have ever felt 18/f. I started college in August. I'm almost done with my first semester; I've got about three weeks left. I'm sorry this is post is so long, I just want help. Advice. Something.
In 2014, I lost my best friends of 12 and 10 years. I truly do not know what I did wrong. The one I had for 12 years went and removed me from a Facebook group chat ~30 kids from my grade were in and said lies about me. I confronted her and I cried within the first sentence and that was pretty much the end of our friendship. I got over those girls after almost a year and honestly just wish them happiness. I cherish the childhood we shared together and wish nothing bad upon them. After reflection, that friendship contributed a lot to my self esteem. I have none, honestly. I get joy out of making others happy. I love watching people smile and laugh and knowing that they're alright because I know a bit of what it's like to not feel that way.
I don't think I am unattractive, but there are many days where I avoid the mirror. I do not wear makeup, I'm in good shape, I'm short, but I do not like my body very much. I have a loving family. My mother was emotionally abused for many years as a child and sometimes, because of how she felt, when I am sad she often gets very angry at me. If that makes sense. My father is loving as well, and tries his best. On my 18th birthday, we were fortunate enough to be able to afford a vacation across the country. On the plane ride back, the person who checked my ticket took my ID and told me I looked like I was 12. I am so insecure about my body and that crushed me. I am told by older people that I will appreciate being told I look younger once I get older. And I will certainly appreciate it 10 years from now. Thing is, I just want to be told I look 18. Or even 16. There was only one person in my life who thought I was older than I was. A complete stranger. And she will never know how often her words keep me going. I didn't change a thing about how I dress, and I wasn't wearing makeup. We need more people in the world like her.
On top of being told I look like I am 12, only about 6 people remembered my birthday. Half of those were my family. Only one of them was an extremely close friend. I made it a point to make others feel special on their birthdays, and none of those people remembered mine. I know in the long run it does not matter, but I couldn't help but still feel alone and hurt.
I never liked going to dances because my old friends (the ones mentioned above) would purposely leave me out when they were dancing in a group together. I thought, and still think, something is wrong with me because of my opinion of dances. There was a boy 2 years older than me who I went to prom with. He grew me flowers and gave me an anonymous note on Valentine's Day with a quote. It said I was beautiful. I still have that little note, and maybe that's weird, but I still look at it sometimes because I really do not feel that way and I guess it makes me feel okay for just a little bit. He was very busy after graduation for reasons that need not to be listed. I tried to hang out with him when I could, and he made me feel like I was worth something. Now we have drifted apart though we have never fought. I had become the initiator, partially because he was very shy, but also because I knew I met a wonderful person I do not want to lose. I wish to reach out to him again but I feel embarrassed. I guess I need closure but months have passed and I just feel stupid and ashamed of myself for still caring.
I was fortunate enough to be salutatorian of my high school class, and in my speech I poured my heart out about valuing friendships. I used a quote from my new best friend. She is a wonderful, supportive, lovely person. The boy I met reminds me of her. I know there are very very few amazing people like that in the world, and that is why I want to keep them, unless they tell me otherwise.
Until college, I held back a lot of my negativity I had bottled up. When college started, I felt alone. I am lonely. I have a few friends but they are studying abroad next semester. I am so fortunate to go to the school I am going to, but I am not happy there. I want to transfer to my top school, one that I got denied from in the beginning of the year. It is far away, but I feel it will prepare me for medical school better than my current school will. (My current university, I have noticed, is much more tailored to business and law students, though I was told it would not be like that.)
I think I am lonely in part because I would like a relationship. I am too insecure to think I am worth anything, however. And since I do not want to be where I am, I don't want to hurt somebody else if I am granted the opportunity to transfer. I also cope with my sadness from college by coming home when I can. I get to see my best friends and family, and I feel a little less alone. But when I have to go back, I dread it. Lately I have been losing motivation. This whole week I have not had a day where I do not feel worthless or down. I don't think I have depression, but maybe that's what it is. I can't talk to my parents about it because my mom gets very angry that I am sad. She does because she doesn't want to see me sad. My father doesn't know what to say. And I don't want to tell my friends because I do not want to be any more of a burden than I already feel like I am.
I compare myself to my classmates in college. I do well, and I stress myself out because I need a certain GPA to transfer. But it seems that all of my other friends are doing much better. I study for 10 hours to get maybe a B, while other friends can study for 2 and get As. I try and try but I feel worthless. I am terrified of failure and finals. I am so worried about taking care of myself. I feel sleep is an excuse when I am studying, so I stay up later than I should. I isolate myself when studying because I need to concentrate. Then I feel even more lonely because I have very busy weeks and have to study a lot.
I don't drink. It does not appeal to me. My school is small, but worse than expect when it comes to drinking. My roommate goes out on weekdays and gets back from 2-4 am. But she is doing well in her classes, and I do not understand why I can't have enough time for breaks. I don't want to go to parties. And I am so lonely because of it. Something is wrong with me, that is clear. I am the only one I know of that doesn't go out to drink.
I feel like my professors can sense my lack of motivation. My grades aren't really slipping too badly, but I have a violent fear of failure and feel I have so much on my plate that I cannot handle everything. I have work I still need to complete before break is over. I have not been able to enjoy this break and take it as what it is called- a break. I feel so behind and isolated and alone. I went to counseling at college but I do not find help from it- they give me advice I could get off of google. (I had a therapist before college who I was very close with and she helped me a lot with my anxiety)
I am asking you for advice, or if you cannot provide advice, maybe just how you relate. I am so sorry this is long. It is all over the place. This is my first post. Please forgive me, and thank you so much for making it this far. You are wonderful.
|
self.depression
|
Anyone else feels like a stress toy? Meaning people only wants to talk to you whenever they need to vent about something, they're bored, or have no one else to talk to? .....And they don't really care much about what you want to say unless it's related to what they're talking about. I get that you should be there for your friends and stuff, but goddamn. They don't even seem like friends to me anymore. Just people I've known for a while.
|
self.depression
|
The slightest twitch in my stomach makes my anxiety go crazy I'll try and word this the best I can. Sorry for the format, I'm on mobile.
I self diagnosed myself with Emetophobia (fear of throwing up) and the slightest twitch in my stomach makes my anxiety spike to scary levels. It could be gas, or stomach rumbling due to hunger, or acid reflux. It doesn't matter what it is, my anxiety will always spike because I'm afraid of vomiting. It's especially bad when I'm in public because the fear of not having a toilet to go to if I need to makes my anxiety even worse. Is there any advice you guys could give me on how to cope with/overcome this? It's really starting to effect me socially and that's one thing I never wanted as I'm usually a very outgoing person.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Hey, i thought i wouldn't be here again So, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me new years. I found a lovebite on her neck from someone she'd previously fucked whilst we were together. I cheated on her 3 times, and in these past few months i've been feeling better. My cheating came from insecurity, i think. I just don't know what to do. I'm bipolar, and can't help but read into everything, she's out with a guy i think she fancies tonight and i've been drinking to help it (i know, its not helpful) but i just don't know what the fuck to do. I know the relationship wasn't great but that doesn't help.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Didn't get the job. Once again. Failed at life again. I want to fucking go already. Once again, my attempt to find a job in my profession turned out futile. I'm still stuck in a shitty dead-end job with little money and all my tries to get out of this situation have turned to shit so far.
It hurts getting your hopes up only to have them crushed again. I'm tired of trying and failing. I'm tired of putting all my ressources into imrpoving my situation only for it to lead to nothing. I'm tired of trying to create a happy and meaningful life.
Everything hurts. I love my family, but I can't do it much longer, I'm afraid. I want to go to rest and finally stop trying and failing. I'm losing the will to hold on, even for my family's sake.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
What do people mean, by "start exercising"? Physically, of course.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I reconditioned myself. A reminder to myself. Hello everyone. I'm currently struggling with a mild relapse. This is me trying to remind myself of my method on keeping anxiety levels low.
In order to relief my anxiety I used to repeat or reassure myself everything was ok (stove, locked doors, sent emails etc). This repetitive behaviour and constant searching for new possible problems caused my anxiety to skyrocket. It came to the point where I dreaded to even leave the house. Thats when I told myself that things had to change. I gave myself a few months window. If by then I wouldnt be able to tackle this on my own, I had to see a doctor.
So I started to recondition myself. I tried to forbid myself to double check everything. Not being able to relief my anxiety through repeated checks was very stressfull at first. It took me a lot!
But I was actually able to slowly reduce my anxiety to a normal level. My brain went naturally from "Did I leave the windows open? If yes... omg someone will die" to "did I leave my windows open? Probably not. Its gonna be fine."
I hope that putting this into words will maybe help me and hopefully others.
Tldr: I made my anxiety worse because I checked everything. Reconditioned myself by doing the complete opposite, doing things that caused anxiety not avoiding them.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I feel hopeless I am sorry for the rant, I just feel the need to get this out.
Today I had to stay home from work because I am too stressed and sad. Last night I had a mini meltdown and tried to just leave and go to a hotel , but my husband was able to talk me out of it. I didn't have a plan, I just wanted to get away from everything and have one night away from it all. I have trouble sleeping at night because work stresses me out so much. I applied for other jobs and already got those rejection letters in the mail which only made me feel even worse. I feel trapped in a job and a life that I hate. I just can't seem to get happy. I have an amazing husband, a good family, a decent paying job, I see a therapist, but nothing seems to work or make me happy. I feel like a passenger in my own life. Like an extra in a movie. Sometimes I feel like it wouldn't't even matter if I were gone because I don't even feel like I am here anyway. I feel so detached. I know I am depressed, and I am trying, but feel like I am being beaten down to the point where I just don't want to try anymore. I'm tired. I am so tired of trying only to fail.
|
self.depression
|
Can I talk to someone? Somethings have been bothering me recently.I keep venting here like my life will change magically. But I'm thankful for everyone in this subreddit, it helped me cope with suicidal thoughts.
|
self.depression
|
The kitchen table is ruining my relationship with my mom and making me miserable My mom is 68, retired. I live with her and I'm having a hard time with her hoarding tendencies. They aren't bad--the house is mostly clean. It's that she covers every surface of the house--all the tables, bightstands, dressers, counters, etc. with stud she refuses to throw away. It's mostly papers and magazines.
In the kitchen it's packaged food/condiment packets. There's nothing rotten or open.
The main problem is our kitchen table. We haven't been able to use it for ten years. It's so stacked with stuff. She sits there most of the day, playing solitaire in the eight by four inch space that she keeps clear.
She loses things all the time on the table, important things--bills, calendars for her doctor's appointments, contact information for people, checks.
I don't know where to find anything when I need some of this stuff and she gets upset if I try to look through anything. She insists she knows where all this stuff is, despite not being able to find it. She'll put things somewhere and then forget--I lost my health insurance because she didn't send out the payments for three months. She's constantly missing appointments because she loses the cards--I've given her calendars and planners but she never uses them or losses them. But also keeps blank calendars from years ago.
Every time she has to pay bills she gets hysterical because she doesn't know how much money she has in her accounts or she writes out too much at once and ends up over drafting. I give her her balances every day but she loses them.
I'm trying to take over keeping track of all this, but she refuses to let me. She insists she's capable, but she's not.
I just want her to organize the table. I want is both to know where things are and be able to access them efficiently. Every year doing the taxes is a fucking nightmare because everything is everywhere. She own rental properties too, so there's a lot of repair receipts and paperwork that gets lost.
She argues with me that she has nowhere else to put things, but that's because she's put things fucking everywhere. We have a four bedroom house. My room is the only space I can work. I have a three by one foot table that I have to do anything.
Our kitchen table is overwhelmed, the table in our patio, the desk in the dining room, the table in her room. It's fuming maddening to not have any space to do anything.
I've tried just throwing things away, but that creates more fights and she just fills that space again anyway. It's been an issue my whole life, but has gotten a lot worse in the last few years. She has had a few strokes and I think she might have early stage denentia. She gets confused about where she puts things or what's she's doing.
I try reasoning with her, offering to help her. She just gets mad at me and accuses me of moving her stuff and saying that's why she can't find things.
I'm just so fucking tired of this. I don't have the option to move right now. I can't keep living like this. I have my own problems and being in this house makes me fucking miserable. I don't think I'm asking a lot that I can use a table or find important papers.
|
self.offmychest
|
Scared of everything Sorry for my bad English.
I have been suffering from anxiety since i was a child.
The problem is that I am a paranoid person. I am scared of every possible thing. Every bad possibility is like a menace to me and since I have a kind of stressful life, I guess these bad thoughts make it easier to get to the surface when I feel more stressful.
I am scared of people as well. I know there are bad people out there, so I see all of them as bad people and I can't trust any of them- since there is a possibility of them being bad people. What if I annoy them so much and they start threatening me? What if they hurt me? When I talk to them I think of every possibility that they think I am so boring or I am a retard. But I am not. My job will be requiring some social skills which I lack. This is also a bad thing.
I don't feel safe in this world. I have a friend, she is my best friend. She helps me feel safe but I can't talk to her all the time. What if she becomes annoyed? Also she is busy
My father left us when I was a kid. My mother, is a dominant woman. I love her so much but I am also kind of scared of her. What if someone threatens me and she doesn't support me? What if I lose everything? All the achievements we can gather are lost so rapidly and so easily.
I went to several psychiatrists and psychologists, especially during high school because I had some important board exams and I noticed I had examination anxiety. I used some drugs, they did help, but I don't want to use them anymore. I don't want to live depending on some medications, since I know it all ends in mind.
So, what do you recommend me to do? Thank you for help.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Been on hold to the crisis team for an hour and a half [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Traumatic experience as a kid prevents me from forming relationships [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
I want to fucking die, please fucking kill me, let me die, fuck everything [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
i have nothing left to live for i feel so empty. i have no emotional attachment to anything but at the same time i have way to many emotions about everything. i have friends, a lot of really good friends but i feel so fucking alone all the time. my two best friends are moving 700 miles away from me before the end of the year. i have nothing to live for. i’m so sad all of the time. i’m literally in bed crying and typing this out.
my life is never going to amount to anything so i don’t even understand why 19 years of life on this earth was wasted on me. it’s 1:15AM, i’m frying my heart out in bed and i just want my mom.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I was free of anxiety for 3 days after a trip to a city full of people and life And now my anxiety and feeling of being an outcast and being judged has returned once I got back to my small town in the midwest and coming back to school.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I broke something and now I'm even more depressed To summarise, a few days ago I broke something very expensive that I borrowed from school, by accident. I didn't known it is broken until I took it out of my bag just now, so I must have swung my bag too hard at something.
Right now I'm ready to own up and pay for it, but I just can't live with it. I'm not sure if I feel very guilty about this, or what I can learn from this, but the fact that I probably have to pay my kidney for this situation that happened out of nowhere aches my heart. And I may also get this incident marked on my report, which sucks.
How can I cope with this, knowing that it's in fact my responsibility?
|
self.depression
|
I can't fucking do this!!! I'm legit so fed up with life and everything!!; everything is just way to much for me, I want to kill myself so damn badly and I'm going to try tonight! I have no friends and I mean no friends at all. I don't have or want a job, I've gained so much weight and I'm so freaking ugly its almost unbelievable. I don't even want help for this shit anymore
I wasn't made for this world, I don't relate to anybody.I feel like I'm in a alien world, the way people act and behave just seems so strange to me like what's wrong with me😢😢😢. At this point I'm legit fed up, I found a way to commit suicide and I plan on trying it out tonight.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Do you find yourself viciously attacking inanimate objects, or worse, animate objects? Rage Cube: When you see red, punch this instead!
Do you find yourself viciously attacking inanimate objects, or worse, animate objects? Rage cube is the perfect solution for you!
We all know somebody that freaks out and throws punches every time they get mad. As much as we love to laugh at their antics, it gets old fast... real fast.
That's why we invented Rage Cube. We don't want to cause a fit, but if somebody's throwing one, Rage Cube will absorb it. It's time to put a bumper on their fists of rage.
|
self.depression
|
Abilify I'm currently on Lamictal 150mg, Celexa 40mg, and Vistaril 50mg. I've had REALLY bad depression lately so my psychiatrist prescribed me Abilify 5mg.
What are y'all's experiences with Abilify? How long did it take before you noticed results?
For perspective I'm bipolar type 1 and I have panic disorder too
|
self.bipolar
|
Tired of living. I don't see light at the end of the tunnel. I've been having suicidal thoughts a lot nowadays. I feel like the only thing that's holding me back are the reactions of my loved ones. Help.
|
self.depression
|
Stupid Financial Stuff Long story short: Credit score went from 760 to 648. Giving me crippling anxiety for some reason. I have a stable job and have been making payments on time.
I hate everything in my life at the moment.... yeah....
|
self.offmychest
|
I don't know what could help me out of depression [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Support It might not help but I wish you all the best. I hope your day goes well and a change for the better happens. It may be dark now, but the future shines bright! If you thought nobody was thinking about you and your pain, then you were wrong. Because I am. Good luck everyone
|
self.depression
|
Please someone run me over with a car or something [deleted]
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I’m moving again and I’m scared of what my life has become My boyfriend and I are finally going to be moving back to our home region/state. We are very poor, and my boyfriend’s brother is helping us get jobs at a store he works at. We will live with him as well. I didn’t make this plan but I’m told I’m ungrateful for not liking it—which is probably true.
Right now we live hundred of miles away in a city with poor public transportation and my BF is the only one who has a car. This has made it hard for me to find more work or even go anywhere without him. Right now, the only thing giving me purpose is going into work every day, but my department is shady and doesn’t like me & I don’t make enough to survive (though it’s the best job I can have on my resume right now).
When we move, we will be moving to a small town (nearby a city with good public transportation). This makes me anxious because I feel like it will be more of the same: me not going anywhere without him and going to work at this store everyday. I have a college degree and I’m really over working these shitty jobs. I have taught myself skills, but have had little luck freelancing/working online.
My parents don’t talk to me, and haven’t for years. I don’t know why other than they just don’t like me as a person. Yes, I could call them and they would pick up but and this point I don’t want to. They kicked me out at 18 for no reason, and never believed in me. They help out my siblings all the time, but not me. They blame me for not calling them & ruining our relationship. My dad makes good money, but refused to help my mom and siblings and I when we were scrounging up coins to pay the heat bill so we could shower in high school. So they won’t help me now. My sister is also selfish and was abusive to me all throughout our teen years. She is my closest friend. All my other friends from the past don’t speak to me. I am a very shy person, so it’s hard for me to reach out online to people thousands of miles away that I haven’t talked to in years. My friends from college also took advantage of me, or they just don’t like me anymore. I have tried to make friends but I am quite an awkward person. I also live now in a very conservative region (very different from where I’m from), so people don’t understand me. I also can’t go out without a car here.
My relationship has really taken a turn for the worse. We fight so much. The fighting now involves yelling and me crying. He throws things now. He hasn’t slept with me in a year because of my “bad/mean attitude”. I do get mad at him because he’s not working as much as me, or because he wastes money and whatnot. I swear at him for it. I don’t know when we became these people. I swear two years ago we had nothing but love for eachother.
It’s SO hard for me to not to be insecure. I feel judged constantly. It doesn’t matter how many mantras and positive thoughts I have, or how many healthy things I do, sometimes I just feel sad. Sometimes I feel pathetic and lonely. I wish the world wasn’t so cruel & I wish people weren’t so mean. I don’t know what I want anymore except just to not have to worry so much.
I used to think I was an intelligent, interesting person with potential, but it’s hard to believe that now. I go back and forth between hating myself and being okay with myself. I starting to think I’m not smart enough to get myself out of this situation. Maybe I’m just destined to live a sad, poor, uncomfortable life with no passion or purpose. Lately I feel like I’m mourning the loss of the person I thought I could be.
TL;DR: I’m moving back to my home state and I should be happy but I’m not. I have no family or friends to turn to, and my relationship isn’t great anymore. I’m very poor, sad, and alone. Sorry for being so emo I just have no one to talk to.
|
self.offmychest
|
Redditors who suffer from nausea. What do you take that works for you? I know everyone is different.
I suffer pretty much exclusively from nausea. I don't get paranoid thoughts, panic attacks and so on. But the nausea comes unprovoked (could be a weekend rather than a meeting, for example), without warning and ruins my life.
Today it was really bad and the xanax that I save for emergencies (less than once a week) didn't work. It has in the past. I am so confused, I only took it for the first time in November and I don't think I took it often enough to build up a tolerance. I dont know why it doesn't work anymore.
The only other meds I have been prescribed are daily, long-term anti depressants/anti psychotics which to be honest I am too scared to take, especially when it could take weeks to level out and I don't even know if they will help me (lexapro and halperidol). I have not taken either yet.
I feel like the odd one out on this board sometimes because my symptoms of anxiety do not seem to match other people's. If there is anyone out there who only suffers from nausea, please let me know!
|
self.Anxiety
|
Mania, Hypersexuality, Relationship, Mlehh... Ugh. I already typed like 3 paragraphs and it all disappeared. Anywho, as indicated, I'm experiencing my second manic episode in a four month period, despite meds. I'm not complaining! But what I'm getting at is that I'd appreciate if you just bear with me. TIA.
In my last manic episode, I expressed my hypersexuality by posting in GoneWild-essque subs. That's what I'm doing this time, but also selling content and it's just not enough for me. I want to meet some of these people I encounter and it all just seems so RATIONAL in my head. Like, not everyone is a serial killer, right? The only problem I see is my boyfriend, and that is obviously a bigger problem.
Ah, my boyfriend. He is amazing. I love him so much, I just want MORE. Like, I want to do the things I want to do and come out together at the end of this phase I'm going through. I've never had that kind of freedom before. I've steadily been in relationships for almost 10 years now and only been with two people in my life. So it seems fair to want to explore a bit, doesn't it? But I don't think it's fair that I'd have to sacrifice my relationship to do so. Ugh.
I really can't afford to be in this kind of a headspace. I'm starting college back up tomorrow and I love my life. I had a talk with my boyfriend though, and he said once he is comfortable with what I'm already doing, we can explore the idea of me having different experiences and such. So I wasn't shut down, so that's good. But I started to spiral because he asked if it's something I would risk our relationship for. And I explained that it feels like this is what it will take for me to be happy, and I don't think it's fair to leverage my happiness against our relationship so I couldn't answer... Is that bad?
What are your experiences with hypersexuality especially in regards to relationships? How do you get through it? How do I curb the appeal to just "fuck it, yolo" it?
|
self.bipolar
|
Hiding it Someone PLEASE tell me how to pretend like I’m eating. I’m desperate!
|
self.depression
|
Parents mistreat me and i feel like i'm alone I'm a 16/m in my junior year of high school. I have never dated anyone my grades are slipping and I have no real friends. I'm sitting in my room right now alone with my parents screaming at my through my locked door and i just feel worthless and unwanted. I've started thinking about killing myself again... at least then my parents won't have to hide their son anymore at family events. I just need help please.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Tried and thinking about doing it again. I attempted suicide by overdosing about a month ago. My girlfriend of four and a half years left me for another man. The shock and sudden loneliness lead me to suicide. I woke up in a hospital room and was transferred to a psychiatric ward for the next five days. I haven't been allowed back at work due to them worrying about my mental health. I've been trying online dating since then but I just feel as if it's pointless. I'm losing my will to live and just feel hopeless. Whats strange is I don't miss her, in particular, I just feel alone. I feel unlovable and undesirable. It's not like I don't have friends but I feel no better around them. I'm considering attempting again, however, this time I'll do it chemically.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
it's only a matter of time Hi i just need to get this out, maybe advice
i always think about killing myself, and a lot of mornings i imagine how i'd do it. but i'm always trying to distract myself. but i'm breaking down, i'm exhausted. - i've also been remembering that time i was fingered by an older man when i was six and the time i was raped 5 months ago and also 5 years ago.
i cut myself and i've **** ***** before to try and just end it, and ive been bulimic for years, but i never go all the way to kill myself. one time the ***** could have stopped my heart. - my mom would die. i just keep feeling like i just need to do it.
At what point do you just do it? or does this mean i need serious help? - i have a therapist and psychiatrist but it's hard to talk, and i'm remembering more which is hard, but i keep working all the time like i'm ok. i'm exhausted.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Is there any way I girl could love a guy like me? Here’s the rundown of my situation:
I’m very self conscious and I have anxiety; fidget a lot; crack fingers clench fists really hard, tap my fingers racing, irrational thoughts, and I also have depression (big surprise). I’m very shy and I stutter in awkward situations and around new people and I hate it. Because of all of these things I can’t talk to girls with confidence which makes it all worse.
I’m 17 years old, male, and have never had a girlfriend. never kissed, hugged, touched, danced with a girl beside gym class in middle school or like my mom. Like most 17 year old boys I really want to do all of these things I’m just absolutely horrified of it at the same time. Not that like I’m afraid of the things themselves it’s the interaction I ave to have with the hypothetical girl. That’s my anxiety making social situations a living hell. Just so you guys know I’m just trying to get with any girl like I actually want a relationship with a nice girl.
I thought I’d gotten through this when I asked a girl to homecoming after a friend of hers told me she liked me so for the first time in my life I grew the balls and asked her. But all according to plan I didn’t talk to her for 2 weeks after I asked her until the dance. We barely even talked then and she hid from me for 2 hours until it ended and we left separately.
Even if I could ask a girl out and could keep up a conversation she would eventually notice I have depression or something isn’t quite right and would probably dump me because she might think I don’t like her or something.
Sorry this is just a rant on my current situation about my dumpster fire of a romantic life.
|
self.depression
|
Anxiety and panic Attack suddenly gone? Anyone experienced this before? No more anxious and panic attack? Used to have a anxiety and panic attack and suddenly i feel like i have little to no anxiety. Weird.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Anybody Spending the Holidays Solo? As I've gotten older I've become more and more estranged from my family (which is fine cuz they're bad company anyway) so most likely this year and going forward I'll be spending the holidays alone. Does anybody else usually spend the holidays alone? Do you do anything special on your own to celebrate the season or are these days just like any other for you? I'm not religious so the holidays don't really mean much but it's still nice to have some sort of tradition so I don't spiral into my already bad depressive state of mind.
|
self.depression
|
How do you know if you get a rash from lamotrigine? I have a little dot on either of my hands, I’m supposed to be taking my meds, but they gave me a bit of a pause. How am I supposed to tell when it’s normal and when it’s not? I’m trying not to jump at the smallest of thing from my body, but it’s not working (I itched my arm and got worried because it was a bit pink earlier). The one on my left hand is slightly raised and on my right is flat. I have a small bump on my leg as well, and my legs are a bit pink, but that could be from itching (nothing abnormal, my body also occasionally has a bit of pink normally).
Should I just take my pill and get it checked tomorrow? My psychiatrist told me to stop taking it if I get the rash, but I have no clue when it goes from my body being dumb or a rash. I’ve also been getting random pimples (when I started Friday I had one on my wrist).
|
self.bipolar
|
all advice appreciated-i'm just a teenager. Hi. I hope you guys have had a great day so far. I guess I'll just cut to the chase. I'm a sophomore in a really competitive school district, but life has been pretty good so far. I have really strict parents. They expect me to get into Stanford and Harvard and all that stuff, but I really try my best to live up to their expectations. I maintain my grades, I'm president of a few clubs at school, I do sports, and have a good social life as well. The adults in my life call me a well-rounded teenager, and I'm pretty proud of that, and I work hard to maintain it. Life is great anywhere except for home. My father has really high standards for me- he expects me to be the best. I respect that, because he puts in a ton of work so I can get the opportunities I have. Recently, I got selected to speak at a national conference ( which is kinda dope) about a subject that I have always been fascinated by and have really pursued. Over the summer, I was selected to participate in a really exclusive program in that field, and currently, I work as an intern ( in my free time) for a company that involves that subject. I was stoked. The conference was Saturday, and I had a birthday party on Friday. It was legit a bowling party, nothing at all like those stereotypical high school parties you see. It was one of my guy friends parties, and because it was a boy hosting it ( if you can't tell I'm a girl LOL) I made sure to tell my parents that it was a guy's parties, and that there would be both guys and girls there, and I even gave them his parents phone numbers so they could check in with them. I didn't want to lie to them or disrespect them, so I just told them everything about it. So my dad drops me off at the party, and I had a great time. We played laser tag and bowling, and all the people there are like family to me ( we've been friends for five+ years). Anyway, when my parents come to pick me up, they're fuming. They won't speak to me, or even look at me. Everytime my dad talks to me, it's like he just caught me doing something illegal, he's that mad. I'm beyond confused as to why, and then in a curt voice my mom says, " You need to have a certain level of dignity. You are not allowed to go to boy's parties anymore." Mind you, these kids are legitimately like siblings to me, and there is no level of intimacy between any of us ( It's like how you'd act with your brothers!) I'm kinda mad, but I know when to pick my fights, so I figure, "They're Asian parents. This is all new to them, let it go." We get to the conference, and TBH I feel like I killed it. I got to run the workshop, and I met so many amazing people, and I was just feeling super good. After it's over, I go to meet my parents, and my father refuses to speak to me, unless it's absolutely necessary. I'm a little thrown off, but at least my mom talks to me, and she says good job and stuff, so I'm like OK! It's all good. But god, as soon as we get home, the hell starts. My mother makes my younger sibling take the SAT practice test, which I finished before leaving for the conference. My sister cheats, using my test scores( which I saw because I walked in on her doing it) and obviously, gets a higher score than me. My mom believes her, and parades the score around like she just won an Olympic medal. I'm kinda heated, but I'm like, hey, this only hurts her going forward, right. All this time, my father still refuses to talk to me ( he won't even say good night or good morning back), but as soon as he hears about my sister's practice SAT score, it's like Jesus was reborn or something- EVERYONE needs to know. It's getting a little annoying at this point, but I seriously do not like to start shit with any of my family members, so I'm like "Let it go." So we're eating later on, and my sibling ( who btw, hates exercise but loves to eat- it's getting unhealthy) finishes her share and starts to eat mine. I'm already annoyed, so I'm like " yo, can you chill? you weigh more than me man, let me eat." I felt bad after saying that, it was just because I was mad, but it was also true. I've been trying to get her to live a healthier lifestyle because I don't want her to suffer the rest of her adult life just because she didn't do some things as a kid, but of course, she refuses to listen to me. But anyway, back to now. As soon as I say that, boom. The fucking waterworks start. It's like someone died. She starts bawling to my mother, who keep saying " How could you, Shame on you, That was not right" and I genuinely apologize because that wasn't right of me to say. But no, she keeps going, and decides to say, " I could've made fun of you about the SAT score, even though I was way better than you, but I chose not to." That seriously pisses me off. She is smart, no doubt, but I got the score I did without cheating, and I did it with some sort of honor. We get home, and surprise! now everyone's mad at me. I try to help my mother with cooking and drop a teaspoon ( it was a teaspoon. I measured it.) of salt, and my mother launches into a tirade about how I have no common sense, how I'm useless, how I deserved to be born in a jungle somewhere and not to a good family like them, and (roughly translated) how I am a witch-child who was sent to bring nothing but destruction and sorrow to them. To top it all off, she ends by saying, " What sin did we commit to be stuck with you?" And I don't know why, but at that point, it really hit me. At school, I pretend everything's ok, and I have my life together. But home is literally hell. This isn't the first time my mother's said something like this to me, and this certainly isn't the last. I'm not a perfect teenager, I have many flaws. But I try to respect their wishes. I tell them the truth, I don't have a boyfriend, and I work hard, which is what I thought they would want from me. But especially lately, it's like they're going out of their way to make my life terrible. If I accomplish something, they'll firstly refuse to acknowledge it, stating, "this isn't going to help your college app". Secondly, they'll compare me to someone else who's an Einstein compared to me. I guess I don't mind, I mean, Asian parents are known for being tough, but sometimes this shit really gets to me. My entire freshman year, I was bullied at school and on the internet by this group who made my school life as bad as it could be. Sophomore year, that's over, but now my family members have taken over that role. It's just too much, and it's so hard to keep pretending like everything is fine even though it's really not. I'm just sad all the time and god if anyone's read this much shoutout to you I sound like an overdramatic princess spoilt brat type person but I'm not really like that in real life. I just want to get away from it all, but I haven't gone through with anything because I'm too scared to die alone. Sorry for bothering you guys, I hope I didn't ruin your day.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Feel like my boss is gaslighting me We got into a big thing via messenger today because she wasn't here. Basically, she's saying she's said something dozens of times, and I can find no written record of this in my emails or documents. She insists she did, and I'm doubting myself now because of my memory issues. This is the primary reason I write everything down.
We also got into it for a billing issue regarding mediciad, and one I know I'm right about. Idk how to handle this; I've never had a boss with an open door policy like she has, and I don't want to endanger my job by pushing her too hard. My depression is back, hard, and that doesn't help, plus I upped my lamictal dose and am starting an anti depressant, so idk how in going to react to this kind of stuff later this week.
Just a vent, really, and maybe hoping someone has insight on how to handle issues in the future with an open door boss. I've been bitten before with a similar policy. Thanks for listening! Y'all are awesome.
|
self.bipolar
|
"Mindfulness" - Anyone else think its just a BS buzzword and not helpful for people with depression? I spend all day trying to avoid thinking about shit and not get caught up in depressive, looping or intrusive thoughts.
If I'm not being "mindful," then WTF is happening when I'm staring off into space all day thinking about random shit and how to un-fuck my life. The only thing I've found meditation does is provide a clean slate to be filled with more negativity.
How can one take prescription drugs designed to curtail "mindfulness" and actively try to be mindful?
I'm ready to discount this "mindfulness" nonsense entirely. It probably works great for normal people but not people with depression. Lately it seems like just another thing to sell people hope.
If you have had any success with this type of thing; Godspeed to you.
|
self.depression
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.