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I can't remember to take my medication. What are my options? I was prescribed antidepressants over a year ago, but I have never been able to stick with a schedule of taking them consistently, maybe a month on a few months off.
I have tried taking them as soon as I wake up, before I go to bed, and alarms.
Mostly I can cope with everything on my own, but a big part of my depression and anxiety this time round is paranoia. When it's bad everyone is talking about me behind my back. Every conversation I can't hear it about me, every side eye, every group is actively avoiding me or cutting me out.
I need some way to deal with this and when I'm on my meds, I'm able to ignore it (not that it's ever gone away) and I need to stay in that headspace, not this one.
I have tried therapy as well, but I couldn't afford to continue.
How to I do this?
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self.Anxiety
|
I want to overdose But at the same time I don't. I remember a few years ago I regretted doing it straight away and panicked. But I just can't see a way forward. 😞
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self.SuicideWatch
|
i am so tired and i love my man i'm sleepy and happy with my life and it's like a couple hours past christmas so i'm still in a good mood, there's this silly grey's anatomy quote from derek shepherd, ok its this one:
>The first time I kissed my wife, she wasn't my wife then, she was just this girl in a bar. But when we kissed, it was like, I gotta tell you, it was like I'd never kissed any other woman before. It was like my first kiss. The right kiss.
i've seen this stupid show like four times all the way through but i just saw this part again and i feel this way about my bf
we've been dating for a while, its been like... 15 months or something since our first kiss and i guess i haven't seen that episode since our first kiss because i heard that quote just a few minutes ago and my heart is so full, that's what i feel like, i know it's a silly drama meant to tug at your heart strings or something but that's me!!!! it feels like someone took the words out of my mouth and wrote those and put them in an episode for me to find. i am so in love
|
self.offmychest
|
I got used on Valentine's day. Need someone to pretend to care about my life [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Posted this on r/datingadvice but I want more attention so I'll post here I'm going to be alone forever, I think. I'm 23 and have never been in a relationship, and have only been on one date with one girl--that I thought went alright but found out the following day that it decidedly did not and I realized that I apparently have a blissful lack of self-awareness at times.
I'm really just wondering, should I kill myself? (Read: give me attention, please; I'm a baby who can't deal with the emotions resulting from consistent rejection and I really want a higher likelihood of people reading the entirety of the following text, which will surely be a lengthy complaint about my relatively good life).
I'm exhausted of being alone. I can't escape the depression I've been in since about age 12. It just seems an impossible task as most of my depression revolves around the fact that I am desperately lonely, with hardly any friends and certainly no intimacy or cuddling or romantic walks on the beach or even kinky tie-me-to-the-bed-and-tickle-me-until-I-cry sex. So what's the point in living? That's really not a rhetorical question.
Because, as I see it, lonelines causes my depression, but, in turn, I am lonely because depressive symptoms isolate me socially and drastically lower my energy levels which probably make me appear boring and undesirable. This then creates more loneliness, thus feeding my depression, ad infinitum. It simply seems to be a circle with no exit point. How could anything ever change?
I'm not even so bad looking. I mean, gee, I think I'm downright hot and I like guys too so my opinion is clearly unbiased... okay I guess being me makes me a little biased. But I'd say I'm a solid 5/10 from the eyes of others, and higher from at least several eyes. And, in my opinion, my personality is kind, appreciative of and engaged in other people's interests, and fun--I certainly can make my platonic friends laugh a great deal and they love me a lot, though I see almost no one regularly anymore because of life circumstances and thus never really get to leave the house. My only method of dating is through tinder, which I've grown to hate and has counterintuitively seemed to increase my loneliness despite a summer full of fun drugs and sex and cuddling, some of which I probably don't even remember. I even got some spank-me-because-i've-been-bad sex and some you-have-to-beg-me-for-sex-and-call-me-a-goddess-or-you-don't-get-any sex. Hot. Also I think at some point I had panda ears on but that was during a vacation in Florida which is a weird place anyway and i was on LSD half the week so maybe I hallucinated it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The problem isn't even low-self esteem or confidence. I think someone would really love getting to know me if I was actually given a chance. But I'm exhausted and I just want to end it before it even begins because I don't think I could take finally getting into a relationship and it ending after month because maybe my depression doesn't heal quickly enough, or when the person realizes they don't actually like me so much. I can hardly take minor rejections here and there without sinking into a deeper state of sadness.
I try so hard to tell myself that it'll be okay and that someone, somewhere out there will actually appreciate what I have to offer another person and the world, but the knot in my stomach when I say those things hurts and I know I don't believe it.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Should i see a therapist I've been in a rut. I lack courage to speak in most social settings. Never know what to say in one on one interactions and even worse with women. There are times i become so depressed i question my existence and plot to end it. I masturbate almost every day to find a sense of relief then feel a sense of guilt because of the method. I feel colassally lonely. I worry that il die alone and the thought stays with me everyday. For two years now ive been smoking weed drinking doing acid shrooms dmt to try and find answers and to ignore my thoughts. Im a 22 year old virgin ive only had one girlfriend and more than anything i just want to find a companion to escape my loneliness, but i cant get past myself to speak. And i know im not at peace with myself. Is this something i should try. Because ive already set it in my mind that i wont live like this long ive even declared so to my family
|
self.depression
|
anyone else on here experienced anything similar? 22 y/o going on 23, graduated college in the spring, living on my own and working a minimum wage job full time. on 40mg prozac per day for a few months but i no longer feel the effects of it.
every day i feel such overwhelming sadness and pain--physical pain--that is too strong to brush off. I feel smothered by it. i'm constantly hurting and i don't know what to do. i've been abusing all sorts of drugs for years now so i frequently turn to speed or sleeping pills, or occasionally opiates to escape this feeling.
i haven't cried since 2011. i know that sounds insane, but i just cant; i wish i could because i know i would feel better after but it just never happens when i feel like it should.
been thinking about checking myself into a psych ward--anyone have experience with this or could let me know the benefits of an inpatient program?
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I have a massive thing for my best friend. Want to try move on for now, but I just can’t face getting with other girls So I’m best friends with this girl and have a massive thing for her. I talk to her more than anyone, she’s honestly like a massive ray of sunshine in my life. Brings around her just makes me so happy, it’s just amazing. We are insanely close, but she has a boyfriend. So naturally while I have massive feelings for her, I have to just bite my tongue and keep being her friend. Kinda sucks sometimes, but it’s worth it to have her in my life. She means the world to me, she’s probably my best friend.
Anyway, while she is amazing, I obviously have to try get on with my life while she’s in a relationship. I can’t keep pining after a girl who has a boyfriend forever. If it’s meant to happen it will, being her friend is good enough for now. I always tell myself if something else comes along then I’d just let it happen, cause in all honesty if nothing else I could use the experience. So last night I was out with my friends and while girls never usually take that much notice of me, I had three separate girls approach me who were being pretty damn flirty, and I could tell would have been open to something happening. One girl in particular was absolutely throwing herself at me to the point where my friends were thinking I was being really weird for not doing anything.
But every time it happened I just thought about this other girl. It’s like no other girls even seem attractive when she’s in my life. I realise how irrational and stupid it sounds, I felt like a fucking idiot. I should have been happy to just have anyone show interest. But I just couldn’t face going out and doing anything with another girl. It’s like there’s just a mental block. I’ve never had this happen before. I feel stupid for being so into someone I can’t be with to the point that I can’t even think about being with anyone else. Like how the hell am I meant to move on properly when I can’t even face a drunken make out or whatever with someone else? I honestly feel like an idiot.
**TL;DR:** I have a massive thing for my best friend. She has a boyfriend though, so I’m trying to just move on with my life a little for now. But even when I get the chance, I just can’t face getting with another girl. It’s like other girls aren’t even attractive anymore, and all I can think about is her. How am I meant to get over this?
|
self.offmychest
|
I don't want to get better because when I do, I'll have to deal with the same crap again.
|
self.depression
|
I’m tired of feeling empty as soon as I wake up in the morning. First thing that happens when I hear my alarm clock is that I get filled with this huge sense of dread. Life feels especially dull, instantly. Eventually that emptiness become anxiety, and so I have panic attacks almost daily at work, and they’re becoming a lot more common.
This is not what I had planned.
|
self.depression
|
Is this even depression I don't know what I am. I'm just empty. I don't feel anymore and I don't care anymore. I don't find happiness in anything and I don't really care what happens to me. I tried to have friends and enjoy life but I just can't no matter how hard I try. Now I'm just left with nothing.
|
self.depression
|
I still cry sometimes when I'm reminded of going to a comedy club with 'audience participation' three years ago. I don't get 'audience participation'. Who likes it?? Why does it exist??? The boyfriend had asked me out to a small comedy joint and when he said he wanted to sit in the front row I didn't get the significance of it.
BUT WOW I had no clue that roasting would happen. I had no idea they'd be calling out audience members for how they were dressed, who they were with, anything. We happened to be closest to the stage so [it felt like] they were targeting us the most.
For most of the night I was fighting back tears. I couldn't work out that it was normal and honest to god thought they'd mutually decided to be shitty to everyone in the audience that night, or somehow no one had enough material for their sets and they were being mean instead. I was only barely able to make it out of the club without crying.
The shittiest part is that I have no one to be mad at. Boyfriend didn't know that I didn't know and for that club it was totally normal to roast the audience members. I still avoid going to small shows like that out of fear it'll happen again.
|
self.offmychest
|
Feeling like there's no point in doing my job anymore My coworker decided last week to "clean". Whenever she cleans, she always throws everything out without thinking about whether it may be important or not. She once threw out a set of car keys that we were holding for a customer...
Well, I like to keep post it notes on my computer with info that I need if a customer asks a question that I normally dont remember offhand, or if it's something I use for things that don't happen daily. I also keep a list of our hours so I never forget in the moment, which I already know happens to me a lot. She decided that the post its are "useless and ugly" and the first time she cleaned, threw out just the post it with my hours on there. Said "You should have it memorized by now" and I just made a new one and put it back up. Didnt fight.
After that, she went and deleted a bunch of photos that I was saving on my desktop for things to use as my background image. We have to share computers but its my login and she doesnt have her own on my computer. Thankfully I just took them out of the recycling bin and put them in a folder so she doesnt have an excuse to do it again.
But last week she threw out *everything*. Both post its with all the information I used, and pieces of paper that I had directions on for receipting things and setting up loaners, she even threw out a hard copy of a repair order because it was with my stuff. I sent her a text when I came in, she was not in yet, and I said this is ridiculous, why would she do that to me, etc. All she said was "it looks so much cleaner!" and never said anything else, even though I replied and said I'm not letting this go.
Now, aside from being angry at her, I just feel like I lost all motivation for even doing my job. I rummaged through the recycling box we have and found some of what she threw out but for the love of god I couldnt find that one post it with the most important info on it. I cried and now I feel like just giving up. I can't complain to my manager; she's his favorite. Even though she is rude to customers and she throws important things out, mutes the phone to complain about the customers every single time, and when she tried to quit, he (slightly) promoted her and gave her a raise so she would stay.
I hate her now. I thought she was my friend, and now I dont want anything to do with her. I don't want to do my job because I feel like with all the effort I put into doing my absolute best, she ruined it for me. Now its like... what the fuck is even the point? She will just ruin whatever I try to do now.
I dont feel motivated anymore and I think I just really want someone to tell me they understand...
|
self.depression
|
No ability to work I have been a while on Lithium and I feel a lot better, I am recovering from psychosis, but the problem is, I lack any motivation for anything. Is there a fix to this.
|
self.bipolar
|
I really believed... I really though that getting this amazing job, and passing my exams, and finally being able to afford the things I needed would make me want to not kill myself, but it didn't. I still do, and I don't know how to deal with that. I literally felt great for 1 day, just one. Now I have a lot more responsibility, and I have to keep it up. I just still can't shake what a fuck up I am. I just think about how in every relationship I was the problem, and still am in my current one. Even with my family, everything that has happened has been because of the things I've done. So why, just why, I don't even know what else to say. Just why...
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self.SuicideWatch
|
School is making my depression so much worse. I really need to vent and i don't want to bother my friend with my very fucking long texts, so i'm doing it here. I can't go to school without getting depressed as fuck. Everybody has friends there, everybody goes out with everybody and i'm just there because...? My grades are laughable, i'm probably gonna repeat the year. There's a TINY chance i might pass, but anyway i'm not here to talk about grades. So, friends. Everybody has one and they talk all the time, they cuddle and shit (and it gets kinda weird sometimes), but me? yeah i don't have that (apart from my best friend i mentioned earlier), not that i want it that much, but what i have in that school is what i think everyone calls "school friends", they're there when you're at school and they talk to you and shit, but if they see you in the street they're probably just gonna walk past you or just say a faint hi and walk away. I shouldn't care about this, people are able to function without friends right? so why am i comtemplating having them? i don't even like parties, i don't like going out too much, i don't like pubs, i just wish i could make peace with the fact that i'm never gonna be real friends with those people and move on, but i can't.
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self.depression
|
Recurring dreams Hey just wondering if anyone else out there has recurring dreams for me it's not even night mares just bad dreams reminding me that I'm alone. Does anyone else have these? I barely sleep as it is and when I do this is what I get.
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self.depression
|
How do you deal with hating yourself? I'm tired of feeling like this. I always feel like shit. I always feel like I AM shit. Everything I say and do seem to hurt others. I try being positive and polite but it seems I still come off as a huge asshole. I manipulate people for personal gain and I don't know why I do it. I knew someone struggling and did something that could've possibly driven them to self harm even if it was indirect. I'm garbage and always feel like garbage. It wasn't like this when I was younger. How the hell are you supposed to deal with this?
|
self.depression
|
Saying goodbye soon I’ve got the plan and I’ve lost all hope on myself and life. I just wanted to tell my story before I leave.
My life has been torn apart by horrible horrible things...drugs, lies, and pitiful actions. I have nothing left. I’m very much ready to rid myself of this world because no matter how hard I tried to keep my family together, it was all for not. I’m heartbroken, lonely, and all I want to do is go home to my daughter, my man, my dog, my cats, and the place I called Home. Yet, too much mean stuff has been done and said to stop the freight train now and I’m too late to just hold them all one last time...together.
I spent sometime trying to find a reason for holding on, but in my head all I can logically do is let go. Let go of life because everything that brought me joy and will bring me joy is gone. I failed us because I failed to keep my life clean. I always wanted to be the rock and was so ready to show that. Id gave up everything for that choice back because now I have nothing. Just true emptiness inside. Good parents with a bad habit. And all I wanted was to be back to normal. Now I ask myself so what’s the need for me if everyone can manage without me.
In my attempt to be impartial and talk myself out of this. I’ve read numerous articles on relationships and Suicide. Amazingly, in my search through myself to rationally use the self talk they described and feel like I can move on, I still feel like I don’t want to. The truth is I was happy, I loved my life, my family, and I was just getting my career in check. Making plenty of money I could take care of family with. But the honest truth is the thought of moving beyond this isn’t something I want. So I still know that my future could hold things, yeah great! But it wouldn’t be with and where what I truly love...with my family together.
So in my last attempt to be rational...I’m writing this blog to see what someone else thinks. I’m not crazy...I’m just very sad and completely hopeless about everything.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Losing hope finding my soulmate here I have severe depression, and I was looking for somone who is in the same boat_
depressed
having suicidal thoughts
looking for only one great friend
I am losing hope in that. Nobody seems to be willing to make friend here. They just want to vent out.
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self.depression
|
Help I feel trapped. I'm 6 years into a 4 year course that I may never finish. I have what should be a good job but I'm paid an absolute pittance for it and all requests for a raise fall on deaf ears. I have my girlfriend moving in soon and all I can think about is whether or not I'll be able to make her happy, whether I'm manly enough, funny enough, successful enough. I can't move home to finish study because my mother is half the reason I have anxieties about almost everything in my life. I can't be happy, just worried slightly less. I have brief moments of peace once a week or so but every day I wake up and go to sleep stressing about everything, I feel like I've fucked up my life and I'll never amount to anything. Like any day now the fragile good things in my life will be swept away and replaced with misery, pain and a longing for everything I once had, which ironically makes it impossible to enjoy them when I have it. Bust most of all I just feel so completely trapped, and I have no idea whatsoever about how I can take control of my life. What little money I make I spend on take out because even though I love cooking I never have the energy for it, so I have basically none left over. But most of all my motivation just goes to trying to get through the day without pissing anyone off so I can get home and do nothing, going to be at 1:30 AM to try and delay the day ahead. I'm seeing a psychologist regularly which helps somewhat but at the end of the day I have no fucking idea what will heal me.
I don't even know why I'm posting, I just need to get it into words.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Recently began suffering severe panic attacks at new job; is there anything OTC that i can take? panic attacks are seemingly heat/humidity-Induced [deleted]
|
self.Anxiety
|
A psychiatrist finally told me what's wrong with me after a decade of struggling with mental illness. I've had issues since I was 13 years old. I've seen therapists, psychiatrists, and general doctors to discuss my experiences. Most psychiatrists would prescribe an SSRI without going through any process meant to evaluate my mental health and get a good picture of what was going on. The SSRIs never helped, and some were unhelpful to the point of being harmful. One psychiatrist decided to prescribe me Adderall, Xanax, and Prozac, but he still didn't tell me what he thought was my problem. Just listened to me babble on about what I was dealing with every day and wrote some prescriptions. Therapists were mostly unhelpful. I got less value from talking with them than I do from talking with my close friends. One therapist even went as far as invalidating and dismissing my feelings and told me there was nothing wrong with me. These experiences put me off of seeking professional help for many years, only going when pressured by concerned friends and family members.
Last week, I saw a psychiatrist after receiving a lot of pressure from my mom, who is obviously worried about me. This psychiatrist took the time to go through and ask me pointed questions. Based on my answers, she asked further questions and ended up giving me a full evaluation during the process. She came to the conclusion that I have both bipolar disorder (type II) and borderline personality disorder.
Many people may find that diagnosis upsetting, but I find it to be a relief. I feel like I can work on myself now that I know what I'm dealing with. Parts of my life that made no sense before are becoming more clear. I've started a new medication that is not an SSRI, with very low risk for addiction. I sure hope it helps. I'm tired of this constant battle with my mind.
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self.offmychest
|
I have nothing to be sad about but I’m sad everyday There isn’t much wrong with my life but I still get sad every single day and I don’t know what to do. I would kill myself but I would make too many people sad
|
self.depression
|
My job is highly confrontational and it makes me sad/want to die My job involves auditing the processes of very high level people and then having to deliver challenging news to them. Sometimes the higher-ups in my department will let mid-level people like me "take the heat" on these things (i.e., if a VP is upset about something in a meeting, my leadership will "abandon ship" and considerably soften the message to gain more approval from the VP, leaving me as the "bad guy" who delivered more critical information, if that makes sense).
Anyway, I don't want to get into details because it's too specific and technical, but in a meeting today, I felt humiliated and started crying (in a covert way, but since there were only 4 people there, it may have been noticed). It was traumatic for me because the VP attacked my points and basically mocked my word choice, how I spoke, etc. I feel very sad. I must stay at this job at least 2 more months, so unfortunately quitting is not currently an option. It may seem illogical, but killing myself seems like it would bring more relief than quitting anyway. I just wish somehow the VP who attacked me would have tried to listen to me and not jumped to conclusions or tried to undermine me. It just makes me so sad when people feel the need to do that.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Essay I have an essay that is due tomorrow and I haven't really started and I'm afraid I will lose power because I live in New England where the huge fuckin snowstorm is and I know my teacher will not take that as an excuse because he's a fucking asshole. I guess this is more anxiety related, but it works.
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self.depression
|
Does anybody else suffers from urgent need to pee as a cause from anxiety? I'm suffering from it right now. I need to have a bathroom near me 24/7, which is obviously complicating my life in every sense.
I am taking medication for overactive bladder but it does nothing, and I've read that it may be a consequence from suffering anxiety and depression.
Does anybody else suffers or have experienced it?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Feeling like shit What a day...I got into a spat with a friend and it really knocked me down. Not sure how to recover.
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self.offmychest
|
I don't know how to wrap Christmas time felt okay to me. I didn't hate it or exactly REALLY love it. Lately I've been really emotional for the past few weeks and I would cry over the smallest things. Seasonal depression sucks.
But a few days ago, I was happy because I actually had gifts to give out and I was telling my boyfriend how excited I was to wrap for the first time. I was really really excited lol. Fast forward to later that night, I finished my calligraphy Christmas card for my mom, taped the box, and laid out the wrapping paper underneath.
Then I realized I couldn't wrap. I didn't know how to. I honestly thought it would be easy like on TV or watching others but I've never had a first hand experience with it. So I told my boyfriend I didn't know how to wrap and kinda laughed it off... Until he made fun of me and my excitement from earlier.
He told me I was ridiculous and "seriously? you're kidding right", "this is why I didn't want to wrap presents and stick them in a bag", and made other comments. Needless to say, I cried and felt horrible. I felt childish and stupid for getting excited over such a small thing.
He apologized immediately and helped me wrap my moms present. It came out fine after 5 tries.
Happy Hoildays, I guess.
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self.depression
|
My bf[26] suddenly broke up with me[25] after 2 beautiful years without any problems and without any hints that this could happen. In need of some support. We were together for 2 years. And I thought this was it. For me this came absolutely out of the blue.
There was no argument. He was as always. Super nice, cuddly. And then he just told me he does not like me as much as he should like a girlfriend.
He said I was his first and he wants to be with others at some point. He said he still likes me, but it seems not enough to him. I think I just started to love him...like really love him. And I never said it.
I dunno what to do. My world just got crushed. And that after I talked with my psychologist of how anxious I am about people leaving without a real reason.
Anybody knows a good way to cope?
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self.Anxiety
|
Psychiatrist Told Me My Suicidal Breakdown Was A Tantrum So I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today and told her that I had a huge break down last Saturday which lead to a lot of suicidal thoughts and very nearly many attempts. In turn, she told me that my 'breakdown' was really a 'tantrum to get attention' and that I sound 'spoilt' and 'am clearly unappreciative' of my family having to deal with my mental illness. Now all I can think about is clearly I don't deserve any kind of help, I'm just overdramatic, I'm not sick, and I'm a huge problem for everybody around me. Aren't these people supposed to help?
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self.SuicideWatch
|
(LOSING MY SHIT) I Am Freaking Out Over New Weird Random Stain That Appeared on My Stomach, Is It Cancer?! What the fuck's happening! [removed]
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self.depression
|
Am I the only person who is depressed on New year's eve? I'm sad now. I just can't believe that it's almost 2018. I just can't believe it. And SNS makes me depressed more. It makes me feel lonely. Now I am alone and I don't have friends to talk and play with. 'Cause they said they don't have time to play with me. And Loneliness makes me want to die. But I have a question.
Am I the only person who is depressed on New year's eve, Or not?
Sorry for my bad English.
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self.depression
|
Posting is difficult [NAW] I've tried 8 times to say something, anything on here, but I delete it and I don't know why. I want to say what I'm thinking, but again I can't, to put it bluntly, because no one wanted to. I tell myself I want to be alone, but I feel its a lie, even though I want it to be true. Its just hard for me to articulate my feelings anymore, and being 25 maybe its just better this way. Who wants to hear a 25 year old guy say anything another than "I'm good"? In an attempt to mold myself into the person I want to be, I tell myself I'd rather die alone than rely on another for emotional support, whether its a friend or a girlfriend, in a way I feel its doing others' a favor by not being a burden and unloading my baggage onto them. Even here it just feels like I'm wasting peoples' time if they read this since you'll never get those 5 minutes back. I don't say these things on a daily basis so don't get the idea I do this all the time and complain, I just had nowhere else to go with it. The [NAW] is simply because I acknowledge I'm complaining and whining and don't need told what I already know.
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self.offmychest
|
My life is a living hell I don't see the point of living with BP1. I can't accept the fate of having to face mediocrity all my life. I know also that my situation can't improve. I already lost so much in the battle that I can't take it anymore. I don't want to reach an outline and I don't trust psychiatrists either b/c they'll force me to go to the hospital which I don't want.
I've accumulated a significant amount of debts, I'm about to fail to realize my dreams academically. I'll probably be on disability all my life. I don't have any friends, I'm depressed all the time. The last time I had a girlfriend was 10 years ago.
Everything I do is a failure, the illness doesn't give me a bright future, it's like a death sentence. I can't hope for a better situation.
I tried every drugs combination so far in 7 years and nothing worked. I was either hypomanic, depressed or in psychosis. I don't know what to do or think. My only thought is to leave this world.
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self.bipolar
|
Has anyone successfully started medication to get anxiety under control, then weaned off? Most importantly, after weaning were you able to control your anxiety?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Hey I'm planning on killing myself in the next year or so, but I want to do a bunch of things that may change my mind or make things better for me, any suggestions? [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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Does anyone Else use Space heaters as a way to calm down? I guess I should preface this by saying that my house has shitty insulation, so usually its freezing cold. We also dont have a working central heating system, so I usually resort to using space heaters a lot. I noticed that whenever I start getting anxious I find myself reaching for the space heater. I think its a mixture of the white noise the heater makes plus the heat that calms me down. At times I've had the heater pressed against my skin, and while not uncomfortable, by the time I pull it away the area of the skin is red hot. When Im anxious though I welcome the feeling. Is anyone else similar?
I only bring this up because recently my childhood psych professor (who is also a part time therapist) mentioned that when calming people with anxiety disorders or people who have autism down, many find that heated blankets (or weighted) seem to do the trick. I found that interesting, since I sometimes wrap myself around the space heater with a blanket. However a quick google search only shows info about how people get anxious when its hot outside. Which is not my experience at all. Just thought I would make this post to see if anyone could relate, maybe even help someone. Of course, space heaters are terrible for electric bills, so I am looking into maybe buying a heated blanket. If anyone has a good amazon link for one, let me know!
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self.Anxiety
|
When I thought the worst was over, when I thought everything was alright. Half a year ago, before my enlistment date into national service, my girlfriend broke up with me. Of course I went through the subsequent stages of grief and got over it. Yet I still remain friends with her . However midway during training, she’d blocked me on every social media , from skype, Facebook and Instagram to even LINE. I thought it was strange at first but reasoned to myself that these current dates was an exam period for students. I kept quiet and tried to stay calm , telling myself that she was busy. I got so used to that reason that I assured myself it was normal . It was not .
A week ago, I received several texts from her friends that she hasn’t been coming to school for a few weeks and her family told me that she hasn’t been herself and started acting strange , like all of sudden , locking herself in her room and such .
As I am currently serving national service, and she is overseas , I feel so hopeless, yes we broke up , but even as a friend , I cared for her deeply . Now something is happening to her and I can’t do anything about it .
I feel hopeless and demoralised and for once I feel like I am losing my composure and optimism.
Please any advice would be helpful.
Thank you in advance
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self.depression
|
Started taking Effexor Hello everyone! I have been prescribed Effexor by my psychiatrist for my social anxiety and depression. I have been on a 75 mg dose for a couple of days now. It has made me quite sleepy and my mouth has been dry for most of the time. I feel like my brain has become more responsive to sensory input and it has quietened my internal monologue which is a good thing. Effexor has helped with my headaches as well. I am not sure how to verify if it is working for my social anxiety though since I don't go out often. What are your experiences with Effexor and is it a good long term solution? and would you recommend anything to help alleviate the side effects?
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self.Anxiety
|
My service dog just died and I am just here at this point. I want to die. I really don’t care cause no one else does
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self.SuicideWatch
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Living in a facade of concealed depression. It's funny how as a medical student, my worst fear is being vulnerable. I've always tried to do this on my own. I've literally tried to do everything I'm "supposed" to do - dragging myself to the gym 5 times a week despite working for 80 hours, meal prepping on sundays because I know I won't eat otherwise, etc. Ironically, because I'm grasping at straws to keep my life from going to shit, everyone thinks I have my shit together when I really spend my mornings willing myself out of bed, going through the motions everyday trying to distract myself only to have that dull heavy pain settle back in at night and I feel like I'm suffocating (literally). I'm so exhausted and tired of this facade I've built but I don't know how to take the mask off.
I feel like I'm about to fall off a cliff and I need to get this under control so that I can actually do those 80 hour work weeks without killing myself. I just don't know how to ask for help because I've always been the person other people have come to and I'm embarrassed and feel like an ungrateful asshole.
Not exactly sure what I'm looking for in posting this or if it even made sense.
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self.depression
|
I deserve this. I’m going to take a shower then lay down on my bed and take the fucking pills. I deserve to die. This is best for me. I’m sorry to have to do this to everyone. You’ll get over it in time. I’m a pathetic cunt and you will all be better off without me.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Hi! It's me again :) I really like how my stupid autistic brain is so creative about suicide methods. I wish I would be good in something other than thoughts about killing myself. How was your day? :)
Love you all <3
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self.SuicideWatch
|
We are licensed mental health professionals here to answer your questions about anxiety. AMA! Good morning!
We are licensed mental health professionals here to answer your questions about anxiety.
This is part of a large series of AMAs organized by [Dr Amber Lyda](https://www.dramberlyda.com/) and [iTherapy](https://itherapy.com/) that will be going on all week across many different subReddits. We’ll have dozens of mental health professionals answering your questions on everything from anxiety, to grief, to a big general AMA at the end of the week. There's a [full list of topics here](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/7oz2ej/we_are_licensed_mental_health_professionals_here/?sort=new).
The professionals answering your questions here are:
Courtney Glashow u/courtneyglashowLCSW AMA Proof: https://www.facebook.com/AnchorTherapy/photos/rpp.1393485707355705/1527661640604777/?type=3&theater
Daniela Paolone u/Daniela-P-Counseling AMA Proof: https://twitter.com/ChronicPainAlly/status/948688514811490304
Dalila Jusic-Laberge u/dalilaj AMA Proof: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bdn7QQjg11C/?taken-by=behereandnow_counseling
Mona Ghosheh u/DrMonaG AMA Proof: https://www.facebook.com/drmonaghosheh/photos/a.1794021984201713.1073741828.1790883054515606/2042607019343207/?type=3&theater
Jana Scrivani u/DrJanaScrivani AMA Proof: https://www.facebook.com/drjanascrivani/photos/a.1233746449969852.1073741828.1218917404786090/1799349253409566/?type=3&theater
What questions do you have for them? 😊
(The professionals answering questions are not able to provide counseling thru reddit. If you'd like to learn more about services they offer, you’re welcome to contact them directly.
If you're experiencing thoughts or impulses that put you or anyone else in danger, please contact the National Suicide Help Line at 1-800-273-8255 or go to your local emergency room.)
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self.Anxiety
|
I want to talk to someone, dont want to talk to anyone specifically I know that i tend to get randomly depressed so i surrounded myself with people who i can be myself with, i can say whatever i want and its cool, i can talk about how im feeling.
And even though right now i would like to talk to someone, i don't want to talk to any of my friends, i find myself sitting in my car going through my contacts looking for someone to talk because i want to talk to someone but i cant find anyone that i want to talk to.
I have some pretty silly reasons to be sad ATM but still reasons that i would like to share.
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self.depression
|
An Unquiet Mind Hi everyone!
I recently bought this book
An Unquiet Mind: a memoir of moods and madness
By Kay Jamison
She has bipolar and is a psychiatrist. The book is awesome and I can't put it down. It's really interesting to hear her story and get both sides of Doctor and patient.
Reading it has further validated for me that this disease does not need to hold us back in life. It did not hold the author back and it will not hold me back! It's also great to hear about her struggles with medication and how long it took her to feel normal, and wrap her head around what"normal" feels like.
Anyway, I definitely recommend this book if you like to read. I'm sure most of us can relate.
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self.bipolar
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Why do I get so tired and sad from going out? [deleted]
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self.depression
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Just found out from the vet that my pup is dying [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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2017 is my best year yet. *I wrote this for the askreddit thread about what we've accomplished this year. I was really late to that thread and feel like no one was going to see me bragging, so I'm bragging here as well in hopes of a bigger audience. If you manage to make it all the way through, then I thank you for sharing in my happiness.*
A lot!
I just got home today after having my best semester at college yet. This is my second semester since starting college that I didn't fail any classes, but the improvement this semester is that I also did so with every grade being a B or higher. I worked my ass of this semester.
This wouldn't have been possible if I hadn't taken control of my emotions for the first time in my life. I've had depression for the past three years (at least) and just a couple months ago I realized that I don't have that cynicism anymore, the cloud following me is gone. I wake up excited for what I'm doing every day. I go to sleep with a smile on my face because I know that my life is on an amazing path. I actually feel alive, not just living.
Again, this didn't come about on it's own. I also had my first serious relationship this year. She was amazing. I knew from the day I met her that she was different. She made jokes that were seconds from coming out of my mouth. We had everything in common. She showed me a side of life that I had never seen except for in moves and songs. She showed me how to stop being depressed.
I made the most painful decision of my life three weeks ago. I broke up with the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
We spent the first two weeks together just trying to find things we didn't agree on. We couldn't find anything. Everything just fit together. We became part of each others' lives so fast that we forgot how to be apart. And that was our downfall.
We didn't grow together, we jumped together and then grew apart. I dreaded going back to the room we shared because of what little comment might wait for me. I didn't speak to my friends in public because of her jealousy. I aced my midterms (remember best semester ever) and when I came to her with my grades, she thought I was making fun of her C's.
She made me laugh and enjoy things that no one else had ever tried. She also made me hurt in ways that I had never imagined before. She was my best friend and she was the only thing holding me down.
I've grown to become the person I am today because of all of these experiences.
2017 has been the best year of my life.
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self.offmychest
|
Paranoia after a mental breakdown/panic attack? So about 2 hours ago I had a mental breakdown and during that time I had a panic attack as well. My heart was beating incredibly fast and I couldn't stop crying and screaming I felt like I wanted to jump out of my body. My muscles would tense up as well. For about 30 minutes after I couldn't stop shaking it's calmed down now. After I was able to calm my emotions down I felt like someone was trying to watch or kill me and I was petrified. I've never had a mental breakdown and I don't want to have another. It has been the worst moment of my life and I don't know what to now. Has anyone else had a feeling of paranoia during or after a mental breakdown or panic attack? Tommorow I'm going to my schools counselor and hopefully I can start getting professional help.
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self.depression
|
Why am I an object and not a person I'm just some object that gets moved around at the inconvenience of others. I don't understand why or what I am doing here as a waste of space.
My dad moved us from Colorado to Michigan when he found a new woman he wanted to marry. He bought a house here but she hates me and hasn't finished packing up and isn't excited to move in because I came over with my dad and she wanted it to be just them. My dad hates me because I'm ruining his life as always by existing and he doesn't even want to come home anymore because his wife isn't there so they've been off with eachother and I've been alone for three weeks housesitting by myself. I this situation and how everything is my fault. I thought it would be fun getting to be pseudo independent and take care of myself but I'm crushingly lonely and I am in driver's ed and don't have a way to do a lot by myself. I hate this place and wish I could go home.
My mom is dying of cancer and she won't take my calls or answer my text. I've even written her a letter and she must have never gotten it or she chose to ignore me. I don't know why she won't talk to me anymore. We use to talk every single day and I love her so much. I don't understand why my parents don't want me anymore. I know they never wanted to be parents and I was an accident but they at least went through the motions of acting like they liked me.
I have tons of people who are friendly at school but no friends. I've had to move schools every year since 6th grade and I don't have any lasting friendships and the people I use to hang out with back home don't talk to me anymore because they have their own lives going on that I'm no longer a part of.
I thought that maybe Reddit would be a place to go to relieve my loneliness and help come to terms with being gay through the communities here.... but what I've found is the vast majority of guys just snap me vids of their dicks or tell me how much they want to fuck my tight teen ass or how sexy I am and it doesnt help. I just want a friend and now I wake up every day to 3-5 messages of people who want shit from me like I'm a piece of meat. It's the same on all the apps to. I hate social media, it doesn't connect me at all, it just reminds me that because I'm cute and underage that I'm a commodity guys want to use to get off to. I guess I should be thankful anyone wants me at all but it feels rotten and I am so deeply depressed. I hooked up with someone who kept telling me how special and amazing I was and it was a horrible mistake. He just wanted to use me because I am too stupid to know better and now I'm too afraid of losing him and being completely alone again to do anythign about it because its better to be used than to be unwanted. I hate this and how much it hurts and why I did this to myself like an idiot. I just want someone there for me. I want to matter.
I don't understand why I am so alone and why this is my only value. My closest friend in class figured out I was gay because he saw me txting a guy and now he won't talk to me so I'm sitting in study hall dreading the rest of my day. I don't want to be the gay kid in class. I'm already the kid that talks funny and no one knows and it sucks and now I have to deal with this because he's the loudest guy in the school so I know this is going to get around. I want to go home and die.
I don't understand why no one has ever really loved me. Even things get loved and people appreciate them. I'm just an inconvenience or something to be used by others.
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self.offmychest
|
Body aches are freaking me out I sometimes experience body aches, always in the torso. - Sides, abdomen etc.
Sometimes it can freak me out a little, cause I also have a bit of health anxiety. My mind wants to go towards horrible stuff, but I try not to think about it cause I know it's not helping me.
Right now I think I have what is flu, and the aches gets even worse.
Anyone else? Just wondering if this is a common thing with anxiety
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self.Anxiety
|
2018 scares me. I just feel unusual about it. I just know its going to be a bad year. I just can't wait for that! Am I alone here?
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self.Anxiety
|
Today I got out of bed Today I got out of bed and instead of laying in bed thinking about the interactions I’m going to have during my day I simply got up and began my day. It wasn’t as straight forward is it has been in the past however everyday gets better and todays victories are because yesterday’s losses and tomorrow victories are because of today’s losses. Everyday will get better.
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self.Anxiety
|
i feel like I'm the "girl who cried wolf" Ever since I've struggled with depression, I've felt a constant state of suicidal ideation. I felt a small taste of recovery with the right medicine, but since I graduated and was forced to move back home, I've started to slip back into my depression and now I'm feeling closer and closer to *actually* following through. But, because I've felt this awful before, I feel like I can't reach out cuz that's when I'll become a burden, someone who isn't actually going to die so why bother helping her. My brother shouted at me that he doesn't think I'm going to die because I've always been suicidal and haven't followed through, so now I'm just down and I'm afraid of reaching out because everyone either won't take me seriously or will just think I'm being negative. But I have a method and I have a plan, I just don't have a date. I really want to die. I just have to go through the final depressive episode alone.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Why can't I be normal? Why can't I have fun? [deleted]
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self.depression
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I'm so sick of my cat jumping on me. I love my cat but I also want to eat my dinner in peace without "help"
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self.offmychest
|
Anyone else get hypomanic for one day here and there? I couldn’t stop myself. No concentration. Had to keep cleaning and I haven’t slept more than four hours for the past while. I feel GREAT for effing once .
I’m tired but wired now I feel drunk but am not
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self.bipolar
|
Mistress of the Unknown The breed of misfortune, Mistress of the Unknown,
Treading through the halls of hell; the wretched plains of death - ashes never to be mourned.
Ashen-haired "menace" to once be named a "star,"
With Luminosity; fading over-fast - exposes all her scars.
A fading star that once shone on and brightened many a lives,
Happy she is in the knowledge: that happiness she bade thrive.
A single prayer - but only the simplest of favors she begs in return!
When in times of peril and distress, have this crumpled little flower of hope to your mind returned.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I’ve been clean for two and a half years but I can’t help but think of starting again. It’s been so long but it’s so tempting. My scars have faded completely by now but I want nothing more than to fill the blank canvas with new ones. I keep thinking about getting a knife and just playing with it in my hands, admiring its sharpness, feeling its cold kiss against my hot-blooded vein...
I don’t know why I’m thinking these thoughts but all I know is that I feel better if I harm myself. But I’m so far. It’s been so long but the feeling still bites back once in a while. Maybe I’ll do the rubber band thing instead.
I could draw to let this out, but I haven’t drawn in a while. I didn’t believe in myself and now months of lack of practice probably made me a lot worse. I’d probably suck at it. I wish I had more motivation. Or commitment. Oh well.
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self.depression
|
Need to talk to someone Life is just really boring and I’m not really feeling it anymore everything is just gloomy and days go by and I feel like I’m wasting everything I can’t talk to anyone close because I know they will judge me and yell at me
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Isolated to the end I've felt alone forever but lately it's been worse. This is the first time in my life (21 f) people haven't had to take friendships (i.e. I'm not I'm school) I moves out, away from my mom I'm extremely close with. I live with my boyfriend who I love but is just as different to me as I feel to everyone else.
I feel like I'm too depressed to make friends. I can't become interested in anything because I have no motivation. I'm growing up and everything seems so bland. I'm upset because I have to live the rest of my life feeling this way and there's nothing anyone can do.
I've been trying to see a therapist or a counselor since I was 14 for depression, self harm, and substance abuse. Every single one ignores me or writes me off. When I was in school, they told me that I was "high risk case" and they couldn't "afford" to help me. I don't have the money for health insurance, none the less to pay someone just to hear me talk.
My growing up was weird, and maybe that's why I feel so separated from reality. I look at myself in the mirror and don't even connect my face to my thoughts or feelings.
I'm very insecure and seeing myself makes me wish I looked different. I'm not ugly (I hope ) but I just wish I was prettier and probably also girlier. I guess when people look at me they probably don't think "pretty" and I wish they did.
This is just a part of growing up, I'm just scared I'll never get out of it.
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self.offmychest
|
Lexapro helped for a few weeks and then stopped Hello all,
First and foremost I know this is not a place for medical advice. I will be seeing my GP on Monday and then also eventually a psychiatrist. Does anyone have experience with Lexapro? I started almost two months ago and the first few weeks I began feeling better. Almost normal. Motivated, headaches gone, cognition greatly improved. Well rested. However after finishing my first bottle, due to unforeseen circumstances I ran out of medication and therefore was unable to take it for ~ 2 days. Whatever right? When I eventually got my refill, it no longer seemed to be helping. I slowly got worse again, and now I feel as I did before being on the medication. I'm only on 5mg, which I realize is a rather low dose. But I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this. The headaches have returned and I'm finding daily life difficult again. I'm a bit disappointed, I got my hopes up when the medication seemed to be working, it was too good to be true I suppose.
On another unrelated note, does anyone here suffer from daily headaches because of their depression? The pain for me is really distracting and along with the mental fog/confusion I find college quite difficult.
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self.depression
|
Cognitive abilities post-depression episode Was diagnosed in May, started Lamictal and finally combined with Lexapro, my depression has started to lift. I could barely think / function during the depression, and now feel like my brain moves a bit more slowly. Is this just what "normal" feels like, or did I lose some cognition due to depression episode ??
Have been reading up on it, just wanted to know about other's experiences.
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self.bipolar
|
Went for a walk for the first time after several months. And I feel absolutely fantastic! I used to regularly hit the gym and lift weights but that stopped earlier this year as I was dealing with so many things at once. Throughout this whole ordeal, I've begun taking small steps to take care of myself which lead to me leaving my house today for a satisfying walk.
I just want to say that this was not an overnight change. I've been regularly attending therapy sessions for my anxiety/depression and taken extremely baby steps towards self-care (I go days without brushing my teeth or showering).
I just want to say that if you're stuck in a rut that you can't get out of, please consider finding a counsellor or therapist to help you. Look for services that you can contact via email/message if you have phone anxiety like I do. Just sharing your throughts with a therapist will bring you a step closer to a healthier well-being that you deserve.
Have a great day, everybody :D
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self.Anxiety
|
Less Identifying I realized today that I don't have to identify anymore with the fact that I didn't want to live, messed up badly in a relationship, rage regarding a past incident, becoming avoidant, etc. 2017 was a dark year but in its totality it doesn't have to be summed up as dark. 2016 was the year that I was in a relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean failure. It was an experience led by bad decisions coupled with bad judgement. I can learn how to identify less with these years. And maybe the peace in it all is that those previous years of 2015, 2016, and 2017 weren't bad years. They were challenging with bad experiences but not bad in its totality. So less identifying for me. I do not wish to ignore reality but to not harper on so called bad failures because that only leads to infinite regression.
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self.offmychest
|
Feeling paralyzed Work is really getting to me. I’m behind on my work because last week I was having a mood episode. Today I’m on meetings because a call was rescheduled for today since I was sick last week.
I’m getting laid off on the 31st and starting a new job on nov 1. My company traded me to another company so I’m going through all the transition right now. It is so stressful.
Nothing is being automatically transferred. I have to manually transfer my files, emails, calendar appointments, everything. I have to turn in my work laptop and phone and get new ones but the instructions for this are really unclear.
I have to do all of this while catching up on my regular work and maintaining future work. I have a hard time breathing just thinking about it.
I also have to go back through and count how many vacation days I took so I can be paid out for the ones I didn’t take. There is just a lot of administration that needs to be done.
Stress is at an all time high and my husband leaves on Thursday for 2 weeks. I just need some support.
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self.bipolar
|
I don't think I can do this anymore. I've had on and off depression for the longest time and I've exhausted every means I know of coping with it. Every justification I know of to go on just hits a wall at this point. 8 hour working life is just too much for me. I feel so isolated and alone, even when I make friends with people there and talk to them. My mind races in so many different directions and none of them are good. Anything positive I try to inject into my thoughts is just swallowed by a sea of bullshit that I can't do anything about.
It doesn't even feel worthwhile to try anymore. I know I'll just return to this no matter what I do. I'm at the point where the only thing keeping me alive is a fear of death but I know that's going to cave sooner rather than later.
I could sustain myself by jumping from distraction to distraction for the rest of my life but I can't even do that while being a functional adult. I'm held to standards I simply can't function under and the thought of that just makes me want to give up.
I'm not sure what to do. I can't keep going like this.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I’m studying Computer Science but Physical Education is my true passion [deleted]
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self.offmychest
|
Family road trip Going to my grandpas 90th birthday on Veterans Day.
Lots of fam, I’m the only bipolar, I’m the only liberal, I’m the only atheist. (But I’m also a veteran so they’re in a bind)
I expect to be told about the healing power of Jesus.
I will not say, I was sent a holy mission from a light in the clouds and have chased demons out of my bedroom. Why aren’t I believed?
I will not say, Jesus didn’t heal your diabetes, he didn’t fix your thyroid problem, he didn’t do open heart surgery on you. Benny fucking hinn isn’t going to lay hands on me and make it all go away.
Phew. I don’t want to throw anybody off their stride in whatever works for you works. I’m just stressed in a way I’ve not been for a while and feel that agitation wave creeping up my back.
And this is where I go to vent instead of trying to explain all the details to people who have read a book about bipolar (if I’m lucky)
Thanks everybody who reads this for being a part of my favorite subreddit.
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self.bipolar
|
Feel at a loss with life and I don't know what to do Wasnt sure exactly where to post this but figured this would be most appropriate as this will probably be a decent sized rant. I feel like just writing this all out and what's bothering me will help me feel better. Talking to my friends feels like im putting too much pressure on them and I don't want them to see me as weak or sad or that I'm struggling. I feel like I always have to be the strong one. I'm a legitimate happpy person. I love living. I'm always optimistic. So i dont want anyone to see this side of me where I'm "down" or "depressed".
I'm a senior in highschool and I've missed the last 3 days of school. So far I've missed maybe 12 days give-or-take. Im suffering from post concussive syndrome and my brain gets pooped out when i exert a lot of energy or thinking. I miss days because of that but also because i just dont like going to school. To be completely honest i dont care that much about school. I used to love school and going and learning but now its just a chore.
The last 2 summers i sent on wilderness trips. I went backpacking on the AT for 3 weeks then i went on an expedition to the SW for 7 weeks and did some backpacking. Basically the way i see myself in 5 years is living out of a van traveling and working at one of these wilderness places. In March of 2019 im planning on attempting a thru hike of the AT (appalachain trail- GA to ME) which will take anywhere from 3-6 months.
I feel stuck. I feel like I'm trapped in this tiny little town not ableto go out to the wilderness where i feel happiest and pure. Last year i attempted suicide and was going through a major depressive spell(mostly in result of a concussion i had) I had stopped working out and did nothing all day. I feel like I'm slowly falling back into that. I feel like I'm wasting every day. Ive been looking at getting jobs. I put in applications for some local fastfood places. I just got my permit so in the next 6 months hopefully ill be driving myself.
I just feel so stuck and upset. I gained at least 25 pounds and I'm not as atheltic as I was a year or so ago. A year ago was when i got the worst concussion I've had to date. I was taken out of school for weeks and missed most of junior year. I managed to get through it. But now here I am a year later. I skip school, smoke a shit ton of weed and fantasize about living in the woods.
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self.depression
|
I just feel burned out all the time Hey everyone. For a couple months now, I've just felt burned out about everything I do. I went to see family before Christmas, and I could barely spend time with them because I just...couldn't. It's hard to describe.
I've talked to my mom about it, and her solution seems to be getting involved with a community somewhere. I really would if I didn't live forty minutes from the nearest town (I live deep on a lake in the sticks on a dirt road.) If I talk to her further about my issues, she just says "well maybe I should just take you to a mental hospital."
I can't even tell her my issues anymore because that's the response I always seem to get. I've talked to dad but he says I need to get more involved too, but it's hard for me to do when I'm burned out and can't force myself to leave the house.
I just hate feeling like this all the time. It's disrupted my sleep. I'm terrified of the semester starting Monday because my last semester almost made me fall asleep behind the wheel more than once.
I just want to know that I'm not the only one. I just need some reassuring and maybe somebody who actually understands the situation I'm in.
I'm sorry for dumping everything but I'm just getting sick of all of it.
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self.Anxiety
|
I feel.......nothing. I feel nothing, absolutely nothing at all. I am indifferent towards things I would have previously been happy or sad about.
I feel listless. Just sitting and watching the day go by and I feel nothing towards that occurring.
I have no motivation. No interest. I am content to sit in silence in my home. I am content to have no human contact with anyone for the past five days.
My mind is empty, almost eerily calm. It makes me wonder about disappearing from this world. I can’t tell if I’ve arrived at a decision to let go or if any wave of emotion will eventually come and hit me to try and provide me with direction.
I. Feel. Nothing.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Old Issue With Ex Set Me Off - ggrrrr Nervous Breakdown 2 years back, total collapse of career, emotions, confidence, and new health issues from the anxiety. Slowing rebuilding confidence, trying to be functional again. Did several things this fall successfully - feeling better.
But - the BIG ISSUE - the thing Ex would always fight me on leading to breakups or silence. She hoards, and now garage is overloaded - I can't get to holiday stuff. I stopped cleaning garage 3 years ago, just tired of being yelled at for tossing trash out ( old clothes, worn out shoes, empty boxes ).
So I asked her to clear/move stuff so I can get to holiday items. She says "too busy" - same answer given for 15 years. I cannot stand it. She's got dozens of relatives in town, and No One can help? I know if I don't get the stuff out - she will go buy BRAND NEW STUFF to put up, then pile it in the garage over all the other stuff.
I'm about to have another break-down, this is just too much.
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self.Anxiety
|
New years goals As 2017 comes to a close, I have already decided what I want my new years resolution to be. I want to be able to provide happiness to others as this subreddit has done for me. If anyone of you are feeling down, sad, suicidal, or just want to talk, feel free to PM me. I appreciate you all and I hope that you all stay safe as this new year starts up. Its a new year and time for a new us. Lets better ourselves together.
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self.depression
|
I was getting better, then I got ghosted by 2 companies after interviewing with them. I feel so demoralized. This is the worst I’ve felt in months. [deleted]
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self.depression
|
I Need Help So I was diagnosed with a mood disorder when I was in my teens. During this time, and up until about age 20 my family was as attentive as they could be to this and made sure that I was at least under the care of a doctor or a therapist, taking medication, etc. But when I became an adult I was still blind to how immensely important all of that support was to my life, I lost control and I ruined everything.
It's only starting to hit me now, at age 26 when the mania seems to have finally started to subside. Completely at my wits end, I see the extent of the damage I've done to my mental health (and life in general.) It's.. Really heartbreaking, disturbing even. And the worst part is, I'm completely lost on my own. Where do I go from here?
Please, if anybody here could even point me in the direction of help, I need it badly.
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self.depression
|
Found my roommate dead today I came home from work and saw that his light was on from outside. It has been two days now that his light was on and I was irritated. He tended to leave lights on though so I didn't think much of it.
However, I hadn't heard or seen him in two days, so I texted him asking if he was home. No response. I knocked on the door, and there was nothing.
So I figure, I'll turn off the light. I opened the door, saw his couch was empty. I then scanned the room briefly and noticed a spoon on his coffee table. I stepped in because I found that suspicious.
That's when I noticed green feet between the couch and table. My eyes traveled up to his body. He was lying face down, but his shoulders were pushed against the wall and his head was facing upwards, underneath his chest. His right arm was jutted out awkwardly..
It hit me he was dead and I immediately left the room and called 911.
I've seen people OD. I've seen them die and be brought back to life before. He was gone for at least 24 hours... probably more. I wasn't close to him, hardly knew him actually.
Tonight I'm at a friends house. How can I return there? I can't even sleep here.
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self.offmychest
|
Anti depressants Hey guys, want to ask u all how the anti depressants work for you. My psychiatrist is thinking about giving one to me but she’s scared cuz the one time I’ve been in anti depressants I entered a manic phase so badly I was practically at wonderland lol
Today she gave me the prescription and I’m kinda excited to see how things go but I’m also afraid I’ll get wild again lol
(The one I’ve been on before was fluoxetine and the one she prescribed today is agomelatine)
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self.bipolar
|
Depressed Girlfriend Broke Up With Me My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year, and she has depression. The past two months I have tried to be here for her (through texts and phone calls. She won’t let me see her because of how down she feels). I always believed her love was real and that we would never break up, and I still do. She’s the one, and I think her depression is the cause of this, but tonight she broke up with me because she doesn’t think she’s good enough. She has never done this before. She’s hinted at space and I’ve made it clear that I will always be here for her, and she’s then suggested that we work things out instead, but this time it sounds final. I really do feel like she’s broken up with me because of how her depression has made her feel. Do you think this decision is final? I know you can’t really say because you’re not her, but if you have depression and you’ve been in my girlfriend’s position before, did you eventually get back with your partner?
I am so sorry about my ignorance and if I’ve said the wrong thing, or described her depression rudely. I just want to be here, and I really hope she’ll change her mind.
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self.depression
|
My dog was ran over by a car today. (she survived) First off, I'll start with that she isn't going to die, I'm not gonna make anyone read whatever is going to follow this because I don't know how long it is going to be. She's currently on a bunch of pain meds conked out on my bed.
I have this crushing feeling of guilt, she trusts me. For everything. Literally everything I do to her and with her is because she knows that I'll do right by her. But not today. Today, I failed her. And almost got hit in the process. I've trained her since she was a puppy, to always stop and sit before crossing any intersection. And she's pretty good about it too. She doesn't cross until I gave her the go ahead. We crossed after a car stopped and passed through the intersection. There was only one more car in the intersection after that. They just went, at the same time as us. I barely reacted in time (we were going for a jog) to get myself out of the way but in the split second I realized my dog was ahead of me, I thought about jumping in front of the car to make him stop, but I didn't. And he didn't. So I got to watch my best friend go underneath the tire as I was screaming at the driver to stop. They didn't. At all.
I literally thought I was watching my dog die. She screaming so loudly, I'll never forget that sound. And she sprinted off. Took me about 15 minutes to find her, I thought she ran to find a place to go die. She ran all the way home, but was afraid of me, I assume because I was screaming as she got hit so she thinks I punished her I'm sure. Right now she can't even get up without whimpering and its killing me.
I fucking hate myself right now and I'm so racked with guilt.
Good god I don't think I could ever be a parent, this is the most awful feeling in the world.
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self.offmychest
|
How to deal with loud neighbors? So, my upstairs neighbors are constantly loud. My roommates say they have asked the people above us to keep it down but they haven't stopped. It's not just annoying, though. I was abused as a kid and I don't find many things triggering but this is one of them. I feel ridiculous for being triggered by stomping noises.
I left them a passive aggressive note just now and then they came down and apologized. I denied writing the note but said they're always loud. They said their roommate was fighting someone...? He must run a nightly damn fight club. I don't know how much I can do about the daily noise especially without wanting to be confrontational. I don't want to move to a different apartment and I feel bad if I get the office involved but maybe I have to?
Regardless, noises can only be stopped to a certain extent and with my other triggers for other mental illness, I'm of the belief that I should try to cope with inevitable triggers rather than try to suppress, avoid, or control the otherwise inescapable. That being said, I don't have experience dealing with anxiety related triggers on this scale and I don't know what the best way to tackle my anxiety in this situation is. I'm mostly looking for what is the most reasonable coping tool here? WWYD?
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self.Anxiety
|
Family drama I'm trying really hard to not be angry with my parents right now. But they had me committed against my will for like the 10th time. I had no medication changes and just wasted my long weekend from work and now my job is in jeopardy. I don't understand how their fear can take away my freedom. They busted into my own house with two paramedics to take me away when I was about to get in my own bed to go to sleep. I can't understand why they don't understand that putting me in daycare doesn't help me when I'm 32 and self sufficient.
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self.bipolar
|
I'm actually fearing for my future and my daughter's future. I can't believe it, i ended up having these thoughts. Obligatory, Wall of text...
Just need to write them out, what will life be like for my little girl. I feel such regret at times. I feel regret for bringing her into this hell forsaken world. Seeing all this information about "Big companys" dodging all this tax and hoarding so much money, these isolated terrorist attacks and such. I know its a slim chance for you to be caught up in one but the chance is there. And her being subjected by this shite media is leaving a sick feeling in my gut.
How can i even prepare her for this. I put money away all the time and i try and save as much as i can for her while keeping that smile on her face. But god damn it isn't easy at my age (22M) doing it alone. I understand finding someone is basically a need in this day and age but damn.
I just want peace of mind, i want people to stop the greed and fucking help each other. I know i don't matter and I'm just a body but it shouldn't be that way. Neither should it be for anyone.
Its selfish i say *I want* but i can't fathom where we'll all be in 5 years or even 10 years. Its scary when i can't even plan my future without the threat of everything being taken from me in a heartbeat. I hate asking for a raise at work because it'll never be enough, and ill keep getting looked down on because i need it to survive. Breaking even every month without much to show for it or always having a balance thats barley positive at the end of the month kills me inside.
I just want her to be safe.
Thanks for the place to post my thoughts.
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self.offmychest
|
How to calm down? Winter break is ending soon and I am growing more and more anxious. I don’t know how to calm down and enjoy these last few days of break.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Clinging on to suicide or hope more? I’m in between. Always have been even before the diagnosis. Does anyone else feel like they can see down the line they will commit suicide? The feeling is getting intense and more frequent lately, but I always cling on to the thought of things getting better. But it’s always that switch, that’s random or brought on my by a situation that causes me to flip back to being suicidal. Being bipolar is killing me.
Im sorry this post is all over the place.
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self.bipolar
|
The idea of school makes me want to die [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Is being alone better or worse? I spend 90% of my time alone. And the other 10% is just work and my mum since I live with her. The thought of being out with my friends gives me constant anxiety as I have no confidence and hate myself and my appearance. I see events all the time I think would be fun but then I just think of awkward uncomfortable situations that could occur and result to being alone at home instead.
On the bright side I live a pretty drama free life but is that living at all?
|
self.Anxiety
|
I hate to wake up feeling sad and hopeless It's one of the worst feelings in the world. I have to work and I'm so sad I can't leave the bed. But I have to
|
self.depression
|
In which total loser posts long self-pitying rant I'm 21, 4th year in a British university. I absolutely hate my course.
The past few weeks I was at home with my parents and didn't do any work, not even for the massive project which I am now very far behind on. It's because I can't stand the stuff I have to do, it's boring, pointless and really stupidly hard (I do maths, mostly abstract algebra). I can't motivate myself to work at all, and as I get further behind I get more stressed and less likely to work.
I have five months left, including exams, before it's over and I never have to look at another maths book ever again. But these five months will be hellish, because I have to study for six topics I don't understand, write a sixty page report, poster and present on it to a panel of lecturers. And thinking about that, it feels more and more like offing myself is the only easy way out. I won't do it, of course, but compared to dropping out and having to tell my parents that I've thrown £50k into the drain it's positively attractive. And continuing seems even worse.
It wasn't like this until this year. I don't know why all of a sudden I can't handle my course- perhaps it was seeing the Bsc students graduate, and my friends from sixth form all getting jobs and getting on with their lives. It probably won't be like this after this year either, as I have decent prospects provided I can complete my course.
I couldn't really enjoy being home either, not knowing I was going to have to return to university, and stressing out about not doing any work (yet not doing any...)
It's stupid. I'm stupid. I'm a fucking piece of garbage, a human shitstain, a worthless lump of trash who's never done anything worthwhile or contributed in a meaningful way to anyone's life. I've never been loved except by my family, and nobody has ever found me attractive. I've never succeeded at anything important. Anyone else would have done better with my life! I don't deserve to have been given such opportunities as I have, a loving stable family and a decent education. It's a cruel cosmic joke that I've been given my life, when all I can do is bitch and moan and fail and then get depressed about it like a fucking loser! I'm pathetic, a worthless, unlovable, useless, wretched excuse for a man. I'm so pathetic that I have to come here and whine about it to a bunch of strangers, most of whom have their own problems in the faint hope that someone might say something nice, and validate me, and tell me that I'm not any of those things I just listed. But if telling it was enough to change me my loving parents who I do not deserve one bit would have fixed me years ago.
And it's not like acknowledging my blatant dig for pity will make it somehow better. But I'm going to post it anyway, because I'm running out of synonyms for pathetic and useless (please, post some in the comments addressed to *'Broad Strand'*) and I can't pick myself up this time. I don't know how.
...
Thanks for reading, if anyone has, and sorry for presenting you with this.
TL;DR I'm a loser who has been given all the love and opportunities in the world and yet somehow still fails and has to come here begging for pity in the hope that it might make me feel better. Next stop, the railroad!
|
self.depression
|
It's getting worse I absolutely hate myself. I keep coming up with excuses and I feel so shitty. It's making everything worse. I was doing fine for a while, and now I just feel like shit all the time. I wish I knew what the fuck I wanted.
|
self.offmychest
|
devoid been sitting at my computer for hours... just sitting here; not playing games, not doing work, not making music, not really even browsing reddit. I've just been sitting here, staring down this bottle of whiskey for hours. I haven't even drank any of it yet; nor do i care to drink any of it right now. At this moment there is nothing that i want to do, but i won't be able to fall asleep, so i'm going to sit here... and sit here... and sit here...
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self.depression
|
The cycle of depression I’m currently in a cycle of getting sick with a cold, then becoming more depressed because I’m sick, then getting another cold/flu because I’m depressed and my immune system is low etc. It’s like 1 step forward, 2 steps back.
It’s just so tiring trying to constantly fight my body and mind. Just give me a break!
|
self.depression
|
The idea of working sickens me. My name is Jordan, and I'm 17, and I'm writing this post because I want help. I recently over the 2017 Christmas worked at M&S as a temp for 3 weeks. And it was one of the worst experiences of my life, I lasted two weeks before bailing on the job. I just stopped going in, I layed in bed in the morning and cried just wondering in what world someone like me could 'make it'. Because it's not one like this. I have no hobbies other than gaming and seeing friends or my girlfriend. And it's not like any of those things can help in a world which is so financially centred.
|
self.depression
|
i find it difficult to even make online friends How do people even do it? TL:DR I'm reaching out to the depression community on here because I relate to a lot of you.
I'm at a point in my life where I have like, virtually no friends. My current best friend (I don't know if I'm as important to her as she is to me but I've made talking to her a habit and she really talked me through a lot of my problems and kept me going during the worst of my depression even though we've never met in real life & she lives in another continent. I'm afraid I'm driving even her slowly away, or maybe she's just busy with life. I'm in a bad place where I'm practically doing nothing so I'm always free & my loneliness has made me so clingy that I can no longer bother her with my bullshit. I would love to reach out to other lonely people online and have long conversations about life and so many people have so many online friends these days but nobody stays. Even if I get along with someone online the 'relationship' is short lived & then we don't talk anymore. I know there's a lot of people out there who feel the same way I just wish we could connect so I could feel less fucking alone.
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self.depression
|
I am on Zoloft and Buspirone and I recently got a girlfriend and feel ready to quit I can't fucking cum. I'm tired and out of it a lot, I'm numb and sometimes, like now, these side effects make me angry and depressed and inadequate. I FUCKING HATE IT!!!! I know it's impulsive to start tapering at the beginning of a valuable relationship so I'm wondering what others have done in this situation aside from Wellbutrin. I don't even play music anymore. I feel like for the first half of the year, it helped, but now it's kind of going back down in the converse way. I'm not myself
What have other people done in this circumstance? I'm over it so hard
|
self.depression
|
I've been writing one word a day for about 20 days, and I just felt like I should share, each is a reflection of an event that happened on the day [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
What is solipsism and does it have anything to do with depersonalization? [removed]
|
self.depression
|
I've made a post about starting medication and therapy 1 month ago, here's the update :D [Here's the post I've made 1 month ago :D](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/comments/7bnwvn/well_we_need_more_positive_posts_dont_we_so_here/)
I hope this isn't too long, I really want people to read it all, to give me advice or just relate, so let me start.
I was really down 1 month ago, symptons of GAD, Social Phobia and even depression were really wearing me down. I was exhausted, I needed help. I've made an appointment with a therapist and we started our first session. Since then I had 3 sessions with her and 2 with a psychiatrist.
**1st session w/ therapist**: basically told her about my lifelong problems with anxiety and what I felt like it was depression, it took the whole session, and then after explaining a little bit she said that I'd need medication and recommended me a psychiatrist.
**1st session w/ psychiatrist**: again, told her about all my problems, and I was prescribed Lexapro 10mg and Buspirone. She also told me to come back after 15 days to see if I was adjusting well and what not.
**2nd session w/ psychiatrist**: Told her I didn't felt any side effects, but Buspirone wasn't really doing anything and I'd prefer a benzo. She told me to keep using Lexapro, and she also prescribed 0,25 Clonazepam as needed.
So about the drugs, I'm thinking about doubling the dose on Lexapro because I'm not feeling much (it's been a little longer than a month) and I stopped Buspirone. Clonazepam helps on days that I have events, but I'm being really careful, only used 2x. It's just a good tool to have when anxiety gets unbearable.
**2nd session w/ therapist**: We talked about how I was feeling and made a test to see if I have depression, I didn't like the test, it was a little bit confusing, it's a test to see if you changed your mood or behavior, and I didn't, but I don't think that means I don't have depression, whatever. She recommended me a book about anxiety and asked me to make a list of fears.
**3rd session w/ therapist**: We went through the list of fears, and she told me ways to question my fears, my insecurities, because she said they're not real and I'm always fearing a situation on the future, and it never happens and that makes me not go out or do stuff. I told her that in the last weeks I was depressed (normal, not unusual) and she told me it can be because I'm exhausted because of my anxiety and I'm feeling like I should be going out or I feel like I'm missing out, and then this "sadness" comes and it makes me feel like I have depression. It makes sense, of course, but not every time, so I don't know if it's depression or not, but the told me that we'll focus on my anxiety and hopefully these symptons will go away.
I don't know if I expressed myself clearly here (english is not my first language) anyway, this is what happened in my treatment/meds and it's good for some people to have an idea of what's like and decide to go or seek help (I HIGHLY recommend this).
Now my approach, with a little more personal input, because of my treatment, I've had some good days, and that was really unusual, I was so stuck in my sick routine, and good days never happened, so it's definitely progress, slowly, but important. Also, since then, I was able to go to 2 events, and post 1 selfie on facebook, to me this was hell, but I did fine, really proud of myself for that.
I sent a message to my therapist after that event and she said that I should not overthink the situation (like I do, and end up regretting going) and just enjoy that I went and it was a victory, she also told me she was really happy for me :D
Sorry for the long post, but I feel like this sub needs more of these posts instead of "DAE" posts. So, that's my update 1 month after my post.
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self.Anxiety
|
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