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Huh I wonder if there’s a alien like me somewhere in the universe doing the same exact thing I’m doing at the moment (sitting on le toilet )
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self.offmychest
|
Me n my girlfriend just broke up So me and my girlfriend were together for about a year. We met at a beerfest and we just hit it off. She let me have her portable charger cuz my phone was dying and she picked it up the next day. She told me she let me borrow it cuz she wanted to see me again (that’s when I knew she had to be my boo thing). Fast forward a month and me and her are dating and Facebook official and all that. Everything’s going great when she starts pulling back and acting weird (not responding to messages, avoiding me at social events ignoring me basically) she tells me she wants to break up cuz she thinks she has feelings for a friend of mine and I let it go. Turns out she just though he was cute but didn’t like him how she liked me so we start dating again. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two happened a few months later when before I move (we agreed we’d try a long distance thing) she get super trashed and made out with a guy I didn’t want her hanging out with but somehow he would always pop up at a party she was at. That broke my heart cuz I was starting to love this girl. I forgave her cuz she said she was confused and worried about me leaving and that it wouldn’t happen again. I again forgive her like a fucking idiot. Two weeks later I move back to the states and it was a super stressful time cuz I wasn’t organized about leaving at all(I only bring it up cuz it plays a part later). So by this time we’d been dating for 8-9 months 2 months were when we were doing long distance. One day I see on her friends Snapchat her grinding on some dude so I immediately called her and confronted her about it and she’s so drunk she gets mad at me and tells me off. I let her cool for a day when I call her again asking what the fuck was going on. She goes on and on about how I should just fuck someonelse if that’ll make me feel better which I thought was odd. She admits she tried sleeping with one of my friends when she was black out drunk. So I confront him and he says yeah she tried but we did have sex the other day( the day I saw her grinding on someone) so now I’m heartbroken cuz *plot twist* I had just gotten an engagement ring for her. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her but not after this. Few days go by and the day after thanksgiving I get a call and she’s crying turns out her best friend died drinking and driving. It made her realize what’s important to her and how she’s gonna cut back on drinking and how much she missed me. I still had the ring so for the third time I forgive her for all the awful shit she’s done to me. Time passes and the other day she’s texting me telling me how she’s super drunk at work for the umpteenth time. I tell her she needs to slow down and she ignores me for days. Me and her just talked maybe an hour ago and I asked if this is working anymore. She says no cuz she feels like I’m disorganized (she brought up the moving thing) and how she felt rushed into a serious relationship and she doesn’t want to be with anyone. After everything I’ve been through with this woman I always kept thinking the pain you’re feeling will all be worth it in the end because love isn’t an easy thing. It’s been the only thing to keep me sane since I left the military. But now I’m jobless living with my dad failing my emt course don’t have true friends and the definition of depressed. I just needed to vent to people who aren’t in my family and gonna tell me what to do cuz She was literally my best friend and now I have no one. I’m surrounded by family but I’ve never felt more alone in my life.
—
TL;DR
Me (22/M) and my Girlfriend (23/F) just broke up.
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self.offmychest
|
I use weed to manage my depression, and none of my dealers are answering. sent two texts each hours apart. It seems pretty hopeless rn, if theyre not answering now they probably never will. I cant even ask a friend cause none of the few friends (which im not even close to) I have smoke. There is one but he wants to hang out but I havent invited him over.
I have work tomorrow and its already shitty enough sitting in that unheated truck for 6 hours on a plywood seat in the single digit temperatures (F) and jogging through the snow, not having any clue when my shift will be over at all, or even knowing how soon I have to leave until they call me 15 minutes beforehand. Its gonna be much worse with the depression roaring back, having no energy, and aching all over because I cant smoke to stop the physical pain I feel whenever I wake up.
I watched "The 40 year old virgin" and during that I could tell my depression was coming back with a vengeance. I just started thinking about how im halfway there, im turning 20 in the spring. And those movie endings never happen. Even if they did, hes perfectly healthy, while I havent brushed my teeth consistently in years, have depression that I express by getting angry and pushing people away, and by the world's view, im addicted to drugs. if im addicted to weed, THEN PEOPLE ARE ADDICTED TO ANTIDEPRESSANTS.
Sorry if this is rambling all over the place, just needed to write this out somehow.
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self.depression
|
family thinks my suicide attempt was for attention i was home alone. i took pills with alcohol. i wanted to kill myself. my sister got home and saw me crying and asked wtf i had just done, i told her and now my family thinks it was for attention.
even more reasons to feel depressed i guess, not even my family believes me
edit: this happened this tuesday
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self.depression
|
[29/F] I overreacted when he didn't reply to my text and now I'm worried I Look Crazy [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
|
a guy simply stopped talking with me for no clear reason Some weeks ago I had a match on Tinder and for the first time in months I chatted with a match and he was nice & cute and handsome. Only problem was we both were only passing the city by, he went back hometown the next day and we could not see each other. We continued talking through whatsapp for some days, I was supposed to visit him next month. We had never seen each other but it was clear we had a thing for each other that we both thought worth trying. He even said he was infatuated. Then one day he simply stopped talking. We were having a regular chat and from nothing he said "hey dude I am so tired, gonna sleep right now, tomorrow morning I have work to do and by the afternoon I probably gonna sleep LOL" and THAT. WAS. IT. Next day he sent me no messages, and the other day I decided to leave a message saying that I'd missed talking to him the day before and asked whatever had happened. He didn't even bother to listen it till late in the night, and he answered nothing. I don't understand how can it be that one day you tell someone you are feeling the buttleflies in your stomach and the other you just act as if they don't even exist. I try hard not to take it personal, but I can't help feeling sad and angry. I guess it is just my fault for hoping some respect from someone I just did not know, but what he did seems just so wrong, doesn't it? I guess I don't want to be angry, I just want to be in peace, but can't deny the fact the he hurt my feelings worse than I imagined he could.
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self.offmychest
|
It makes me mad that I’m depressed It makes me mad that I’m sad all the time. Everyone else seems so normal. Why can’t I just be normal?
It makes me mad that I nearly killed myself. Why do I have these thoughts? Why can’t I stop?
It makes me mad that in social settings I have so much anxiety. Normal people don’t obsess about how they look, or think about how they carry their voice in a conversation, or think about how everyone is faking it and they don’t have any respect for them
I have a son and it makes me mad that his father is weak and depressed and suicidal. He deserves better than me. Why can’t I just go to my job and be a good father and be happy like normal people do?
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self.depression
|
Something's not right I feel violently ill, I wish someone was by my side.
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self.depression
|
All I want for Christmas this year are my loved ones back. [deleted]
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self.offmychest
|
Requesting good vibes. Just got back from the emergency room. I’m not in the best mental state, and I thought it be best to go to the er to see about possible voluntary admittance. But they sent me home, with my wife agreeing to keep a close eye on me.
If I feel worse I am to go back for admittance into a psychiatric ward for a bit. Just hoping to have some good vibes.
On the bright side, I finally showered and shaved today :)
Love to you all
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self.bipolar
|
I don’t know what to do, please help I’m here sitting on my car crying because I don’t know what to do. I’ve been hanging out with my BF all day, I was suppose to see him tonight but I bailed because my anxiety is so extreme. I can still go to his house, but it feels impossible for me to do. I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t want to go home either. This is an awful feeling. These last few weeks have been awful for me, everything brings me anxiety.
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self.Anxiety
|
Rating Moods Hey everyone! My psychiatrist asked me to keep a journal to show her how I've been feeling between appointments, and one of the things she asked me to keep track of is my mood, obviously. I'm working on making my own mood chart so that it includes the information I think is important to report and excludes information I think is redundant or does not apply in my case.
However... I've run into a problem: I want to have the mood chart be such that once it's filled over a period of time, you can see the moods as a line graph. For this reason, I decided to keep mood and energy separate from each other (since that would allow me to track mixed episodes as well). I don't know how exactly to quantify the moods and energy though. I'd like to be able to write down what each number, say from 0-10, means so that my psychiatrist better understands how I've been feeling. I'm just struggling to find any description of what each number could represent, since it seems all charts go with "mild, moderate, severe" or "not impairing, sort of impairing, severely impairing" or an alternate version of that. I want something with more description so that I can tell her: "look, I've been feeling like this; these are the symptoms I've been experiencing and how much I've been experiencing them."
I'm looking for something kind of like [this](https://www.bipolaruk.org/FAQs/mood-scale). I'm pretty sure I have Bipolar II but my psychiatrist isn't sure my hypomania is bad enough to qualify? So I'd like the chart to reflect that, so she can give me the correct diagnosis.
Any suggestions? How do you rate your own mood?
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self.bipolar
|
Cardiophobia Hi All,
First ever post. I have dealt with GAD for 5 years now, more specifically, cardiophobia. I am 25 and have been to hospital multiple times, checked out intensely and assured I am perfectly healthy. No one in my family has ever had a heart problem.
Yet, like most of us, I always have that imminent feeling that something will go wrong. Even if I am not concerned about my heart, another pain will arise. Stiffness in my arms, a pain in the front of my neck, a headache, etc.
I am prescribed Xanax but afraid if I take it, then that will be what kills me!
Wondering who can relate, any fixes you all have found, or a better way of thinking day to day.
Thank you!
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self.Anxiety
|
I still feel like dying Most days start out alright and by the time I’m done with classes I’m at home wondering why I’m still in school when it only makes me feel useless and stupid and lonely. I’m an introvert, I like being alone—a lot. But something about having so many people around me makes me feel lonely. I didn’t even think I was gonna Make it 18 and now that I’m still going a few years after, I don’t think any differently. It’s just that now I feel I’ve missed the deadline so I have no idea why I’m still here and what the hell i’m even doing. I’ve made it this far for seemingly nothing, but I don’t feel as strongly compelled to act on taking my own life anymore. I’m really just waiting for something to take me away.
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self.depression
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Having second thoughts about ending a relationship with a guy who made a racist joke towards me [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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Give me reasons to live on. I've lost all hope for society and humanity as a whole. Is there a reason to even carry on? Life is a long game and I've feel as if ive already lost. Give me reason to carry on in this unforgiving game.
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self.SuicideWatch
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My month has been quite long Here's the truth, this post is more for me than anyone.
I spent two and a half years trying to protect someone, to help them become someone they wanted to be. I stood by through cheating, abuse, neurological issues and psychosomatic problems.
The truth is, when she left, I had a nervous breakdown. My purpose in life, the thing i lived and breathed for, was gone. I didn't know what to do.
I have another girl who is getting ready to leave now, albeit its been quite a lot less time. That's okay, I don't force anyone to stay.
And then I have my little sister, who's on a nervous breakdown because of a mistake I made. I owned it, I told her the truth, and she lost her shit. She tried to kill herself, tried to OD, tried to cut herself, and she messed her life up. I can't save her from herself this time, she's too far away and too far gone.
So I told mom, and I tried to get her help. And now, no one has heard from her for a few days, and I can't figure out where the fuck she is.
I saw my little sister a few days after the incident that occurred. She's a violent mess. I let her lay into me because everyone has to get some steam off once in awhile. She cracked a rib and left some nasty bruises, though I don't blame her.
And now she's missing. And it's kinda my fault.
This month has truly tested me.
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self.offmychest
|
Can Anxiety do this to you?! Hey, I got anxious about making a small work speech and I became anxious the week prior to the speech that I felt like I couldn't get my words out when speaking to someone.
Ever since I've had this horrible awareness of speaking or having to watch over my voice.
Would this subside once my anxiety goes down? because at the moment it's ruining my life and I'm very depressed.
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self.Anxiety
|
If you get ghosted while you have anxiety, your gonna have a bad time I feel like, if I didn't have anxiety, this would be NBD. Like, I'm sure I'd feel like shit but I wouldn't be taking it this hard. Like, I feel like anxiety makes me freak out more over relatively simple things.
But yeah, I got ghosted and I feel disgusting. Like, I'm convinced that I did something horrible to drive this person away even though I know logically that I didn't. Like, my last conversation with this person was about nothing at all; she was just talking about how she was stressed with her job. We didn't really fight or anything, I didn't say anything sexual or mean or anything, and up until then things had been going pretty well! Like, I had been a friend of this person for a while and we decided to give dating a try a little while ago so I thought we had a foundation of trust and respect to work off of. But yet, a few weeks ago, I find out that I'm blocked on every channel. I thought first that maybe she just decided to go dark because she was busy but I found out from mutuals that wasn't the case.
My friends are trying to reassure me that this person is a total piece of shit and that I'm better off but yet I can't help but feel that I'm the one with the problem? Like I'm convinced that this whole thing must have happened for a reason and I can only think that reason is me. Like, anxiety is really acting up and has me convinced that there's just something fundamentally wrong with me and that's why this happened. Idk guys, it's just been a while since anxiety has been this bad for me and I feel like it's over something that isn't even that important in the grand scheme? And, again, I know logically that I have nothing to be ashamed of! I just don't know why I can't seem to listen to my own self. If I know something logically, you'd think that I'd know not to worry, yes? That just seems to be a pattern with me ever since my anxiety flared up and I just don't understand it.
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self.Anxiety
|
Anxiety is hurting me at work Using a throw away.
I've just been assigned to a project at work that's difficult, and requires using some machinery/techniques that are beyond my skill set. I just got my bachelor's degree within the last two years. Colleagues and coworkers that have Masters, PhDs, have been doing this kind of work their whole lives tell me how difficult this particular project is and how they can't even do it.
My boss and my job kind of expects perfection. "No room for mistakes" is what I hear a lot.
It had been building for a while but yesterday I had an anxiety attack that manifested in me sitting motionless, staring at a wall, unable to think or move for 2 hours. When I finally found the ability to move, I took a sick half day and left work early.
I'm back at work right now about to get started on this project and I can feel the paralysis creeping up on me again. It feels like cement is filling my chest and I want to cry, run away, hide under something.
I feel pathetic and like a failure.
I just wanted to put this out there.
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self.Anxiety
|
...! I can be brave.
I have always been brave.
I am brave.
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self.depression
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My Anxiety Makes Me Prepare for breakups It was helpful for my last relationship. I benefitted from preparing myself. I walked away with my heart still intact for once. I don't do it on purpose either. It's just my subconscious mind being a douche.
Even if the relationship is going rather great with only a few small issues, my anxiety is like "yeah, you're getting dumped soon". It hurts though. It makes me want to not even be in the relationship anymore. Why try anymore if you know it's not gonna last?
I've been in a total of 3 relationships, counting the one I'm in now. My first relationship, I was 15 and he was "my first love" and my best friend. It ended very horribly. For me, at least. Since then, my anxiety makes sure that it never happens again.
Is anyone else like this? Is there anyway to help the anxiety calm it's ass down?
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self.Anxiety
|
It's not that the ethics of MRIS on undeveloped people is unethical It's that we have come to an age of blind darkness, in which trees are continuing to be used for newspapers and applications, while people are being thrown into furnaces and time predictors for their lives just for money, beauty, power and ultimately, survival.
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self.offmychest
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I can't take it anymore. I will forever be useless. [deleted]
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self.depression
|
I kinda wish I was mute That title probably makes me sound really ungrateful for my ability to speak, but I think I'd be able to actually interact if I could just write some words on paper instead, feels like my voice just brings about bad things and I only use it well when I tell my momma I love her, anyone else feel this way?
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self.depression
|
Heart rate and Manic Episodes Hey, so I've been having my pulse and so2 recorded due to concerns about anxiety literally destroying my body and during my manic phase my heart rate was about 30BPM higher than average, at around 105BPM resting and 94-92% o2sat. Doctor isnt concerned as there are no discernable cardiac events and has mentioned that valproate can make it harder for the heart to reduce its output in certain patients when worked up by anxiety.
I thought it was intriguing and was wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this before with manic phases and or anxiety, wouls be cool to know. (Man my head is racing)
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self.bipolar
|
Wife of Bipolar Person- Need Insight. Can I ask for Advice? Hey guys, if this post isn't allowed, forgive me. I'm just desperate for insight.
I've been with my husband for 10 years. During this time he has had clinically diagnosed bipolar but has been untreated except for a short period after he was released from the mental hospital. He was on Olanzipene and it made him tired so he stopped taking it.
Long, long, long story short I have been dealing with his issues for this time completely on my own. Pathological lying, marijuana abuse, manipulation, alcoholism (he was a verbally abusive drinker, often would break my stuff)
I love him more than anything so I stayed. He has gotten better and no longer drinks regularly (he slips up and I know I Will have to expect that for the rest of my life)
However he has never been willing to get help and see a doctor so after his last manic phase, which lasted nearly a month and a half, I was done. I just can't do this anymore. I have heart issues and the stress of it was causing me serious problems. I need to put myself first finally.
I left for three weeks after this particularly abusive manic phase (verbal abuse aside, he graffiti'd our entire basement and ruined some belongings) and I guess this was the push he needed and he finally started on meds. He was put on 100mg of Seroquel. I moved back in to the house. The clinic doctor upped him to 200mg two and a half weeks ago.
He agreed to take it, took the 200mg pill once, got sick, and never took it again. Now- he was actively lying to me this whole time. Every night I would ask if he took his pill and each night "yeah baby I take it with dinner every night" and I was supportive and trying to help him in his day to day life, always rubbing his back, his head, telling him how proud I was of him, making him food, cleaning so he didn't have to, etc.
I found the pill bottle yesterday with 1 pill missing (should have been 15 missing). I was heart broken. I had no idea he was lying to me, is the worst thing.
I am pretty much done, I can't do this anymore. He lies to me as easily as telling the truth.
He is very sorry now that he is caught and is promising to get back on the meds and willing to take them for the rest of his life. He wants me to force him to take the meds every night and watch him take them.
I guess I am just looking for any kind of advice. He is making me feel terrible for leaving him now that he is "finally willing to be on meds." How is he willing to be on meds if he stopped taking them already? He also blamed ME for him not taking his meds, which is a common theme. I get blamed for everything.
I'm sorry if this post is inappropriate, I am completely lost here and very sad. I want him to be happy but I want to be happy too. I don't think I can ever trust him to take his meds and I don't WANT to force him. This is supposed to be his choice and I feel he is only doing it to get me to stay. He says he doesnt want to be manic anymore but I mean, he quit his meds two weeks after starting them.
I also don't want to leave him if there really is a solid chance of things being good between us. But I can't keep doing this same old song and dance.
ETA: Thank you, each one of you, for your thoughtful responses. I may not have responded to most but I am just a little overwhelmed. Your advice and encouragement has meant the world to me. This is exactly what I needed to hear.
Also, fun tidbit, I came home unexpectedly tonight (was supposed to be staying at my mothers) and caught him passed out drunk on the couch. He drove with an expired license to go get booze behind my back. Yeah. So. There ya go.
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self.bipolar
|
Help me I just need someone to talk with about these suicidal thoughts. But I don't want to tell any of my friends for obvious reasons. I don't need to give them that worry, like I'm some kind of ticking time bomb just waiting to go off. I mean sure that could be the case but who really knows I guess? Idk I'm just in a really weird place right now and I'm not sure where else to go to discuss this. I feel like I do need some sort of therapy but I don't think I can afford it. I'm not expecting a magical fix or anything like that, it'd just be nice to have someone to talk with about this that understands. So if you feel like reaching out please PM me. Thank you for reading this.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Does anyone else lie to people about how social you are? Whenever the topic of social events or relationships comes up, I always make up something to make it seem like I'm not a complete social outcast. There have been times where I've said I've never been in a relationship, or that I've never been to a concert or a party or anything and I always got weird stares.
Now, I always say I've had a few short relationships recently, or that I had plans this weekend to do something, but they didn't fall through, and so on. I feel like the people I've talked to have been much more receptive and comfortable towards me, after making myself seem more "normal" to them. I feel bad lying to my parents and occasionally strangers, but the reward of not feeling like I repulse strangers is definitely a positive.
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self.depression
|
Lonely I hate my life I have 1 true friend and no one else I'm 15 almost 16 (also bi and parents hate gay people) tonight I feel really lonely you go to school and everyone has their place like 5 to 6 friends that they hangout with I have 1 I want more I try to make friends but I just don't fit in anywhere I had tons of friends in middle school but they all stabbed me in the back now spread rummers about me make it even harder to make friends I spend every weekend on my computer and listening to Spotify most of the time and I can't do this for much longer sooner or later I will kill myself i think I will do one of 2 things jump off a bridge or walk in front of a train no one will care they will go to school the day after and say what happened to quiet guy if anything I just want freind not money not more tech I just want more friends this is my cry for help what should I do I'm lost sorry if this post was all over the place I just said what came to mind and thanks for reading 🙂
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self.depression
|
Can't shake the feeling that I should have died. When I was 18 I got extremely sick and had to have five surgeries in two days, three of them emergency surgeries because I had a lot of internal bleeding. I spent over a week in ICU, then three more in a regular ward before I could go home. I was high on strong painkillers pretty much all the time and felt very little pain but I know it was a big deal. The doctors told me later I was pretty much bleeding out on the operation table and if they had started just half an hour later, there would have been zero chance of me surviving. My mother was given photos of the surgeries and just took one look at the file before she put them away out of my reach, white-faced. I will never forget my parents' faces during these three weeks.
Ever since I got home from that hospital, things have been hell. I have always been depressed but trying extremely hard to get better, never "comfortable" in my state. Over the past three years I was badly abused by my partner, developed a chronic illness that took a big chunk of my life quality, developed an eating disorder, had several borderline traumatic experiences that haunt me even in my dreams, lost a dear family member and found out I would never be able to have children.
I just genuinely feel like I should have died back then. Life now is so bad, it feels almost comical so to speak? Like it's actually just a TV show or something. By all means absolutely unreal. Every day is hell. I wake up wanting to go back to sleep right away just so I don't have to experience more shit. I feel like I'm being punished for beating death that time, and I feel guilty for surviving.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Can't find anyone to hangout with and have been depressed for sometime. [deleted]
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self.depression
|
I need a reminder that I can get through this. [deleted]
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self.depression
|
Last year, on new year's night, I tried to kill myself It's been almost a year
And nothing has gotten better. In fact, it's worse.
The antidepressants I started to make me happy changed nothing and made me fat
The person I loved dumped me
I've got less friends than I started with
Why should I live through another year?
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self.depression
|
White Backpackers (Mostly Europeans) So I don't know if it is appropriate to post about this as I afraid it would come out to be super racist and my account would likely to be suspended because of this post but I really want to vent about this issue.
So background informations first. I am a 20 something guys from SEA. I have spent 1 year in Germany and my whole life consuming Western cultures media. My English is near native. I tend to think that I understand the western culture enough. I even feel like my country should benefit from adapting some western philosophy as well. I am a super liberal, never once do I agree with conservative in any places. However, my views is changing quickly as I started backpacking after I graduated from College.
I backpack only in 3rd world countries (excluding my own since I can travel myself by car. If you want to know what country I am from please DM me) in SEA . My world views change dramatically since my first destination, Vietnam. I would stay mostly in Hostel for budget reasons.
My first Hostel experience is in Vung Tau, it is a nice small and cozy Hostel but the guest was horrible. I started to notice an underlying racism being directed toward me. I tried to engage as many people as I can but I always feel that by me being an Asian from 3rd world country, I start to not fit in with these people. They were often loud, no respect and no manners. I start to notice something, these guys are not here for anythings other than booze and girls. They feel like they can do anything because they are white. They have no respect for their non-white roommates. I once saw that my friggin towel were used by some Russian dude and he just left it in the bathroom. And I also feel the superiority mind coming from them all the time when they asked me where I am from.
Next Hostel were worse. It is like a youth oriented hostel. Seriously, I am only 23 but I do feel like the white youth travelers are really ignorant, stupid and disrespectful. Some Irish dude just left his backpack on the bottom of the ladder that I was supposed to climb up to my fucking bed. He noticed how I have trouble getting to my bed but he didn't care.
I feel like these backpackers see 3rd world countries as their playgrounds and don't care about anything.
I must also say that not everyone is like this, but majority of them are. I met some really nice people but usually they would be like 30+. I met a 50 years old Canadian that said "The Backpacking/Traveling culture is fucked miserably"
Now when I travel, I would just hit up with the locals rather than trying to make friend in the Hostel. I am enjoying backpacking much more when I get to spend time or engage with locals in respective countries.
PS. If someone from 3rd World Country are backpacking, odds are they are rich and really worldly, so don't give them that White Man Burden shit on them. Seriously.
PS2. Happy New Years!
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self.offmychest
|
I'm 23F, virgin, no dates, never been kissed. I'm pathetic and I feel undesirable [deleted]
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self.offmychest
|
I feel helpless and I don't think I can do anything right. [deleted]
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self.depression
|
Anyone ever have a problem where their SO is TOO nice? [deleted]
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self.offmychest
|
The last person I had has moved on Everyone that I have ever been close with always winds up dropping me. Today it was my ex/ I guess ex best friend now. We broke up two weeks ago, she seems happy and has moved on already, even one of her new guys called while she was at my place. All of the people that I considered best friends have other people they would rather talk to and haven’t talked to me in months. So I just sit here, alone in my room. I haven’t been able to cry in so long but I feel like tonight might be the night. This feeling of emptiness really gives me stomach pain, and I can’t stop it. I have nobody to turn to. I just have this subreddit to really vent to, even tho nobody is probably gonna read this whole thing. I just want to be cared about again by someone I can see and not just through a screen. I need a friend and I have nothing.
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self.depression
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Do people really care, or are they doing it for the wrong reasons? Would anyone miss me when I'm dead? Would they cry when they find my body with blood pouring out of my wrists? I feel so alone every time I wake up. None of my friends are asking me to hang out. No support from family, except my mother but she's skeptical about depression.
Coming out to people but all they say is "be more happy", "think positively", "it's your fault because you're always so negative". I am truly alone. Fuck this illness. I wish I could just die.
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self.depression
|
I am losing my will... Hi everyone out there.
I've been a depressed woman for most of my teen and adult life, but now takes the cake.
I'm currently homeless and living in my car. I have severe asthma and it's cold out here at night. I haven't had a hot shower in a bit and I really would like one. I just got a new job but it's taking all I have to keep going in. I'm already socially awkward so to have to go to a new job looking as gross as I feel is destroying any confidence I may have had left in myself.
What I think I would like more at this point is just to die. I'm losing my will to fight and continue like this. I hate life like this. I have nobody and no money until my first paycheck in about three weeks.
So yeah, at this point... I wish I would and could just die already or have the guts to end it now.
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self.SuicideWatch
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I was happy all day... But then I did something really stupid which people made fun of me for and now I feel so sad and replaying the memory over again in my head. [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
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It feels like I'm running in circles I don't know if I'm suicidal enough to be talking here. But the last time I felt like I was suicidal enough to ask for help I ended up in the pysch ward surrounded by people saying "you should have said something earlier!"
So know that I'm not an immediate threat to myself. My guns were confiscated months ago and though they've been legally returned to me, I elected to let a family member keep them until I was sure I wouldn't use one on myself.
But I feel like I'm back where I was six months ago. Where I *always* am every six months.
This is always supposed to be my rock bottom. Eating junk food alone at night in a messy apartment, dark red spots all around my eyes from throwing up the rum I drank the night before, the few friends I have calling me to make sure I got home okay and that they were "worried", as well as trying to apologize to the one or two people that I alienated by becoming a massive downer.
The next part involves me exercising, eating salad, meditating, reading, cleaning my apartment. This is the part where I finally turn things around and 24 years of unhappiness turns into me being a healthy, productive person like everyone I grew up with.
But that only keeps on until I start wanting to die again, then I'm just slowly fighting to stay healthy and wholesome until I get right back to this same point again.
But now I'm getting old. I know, you're 40 so you're so wise and now you say "Bah, you're not old! You're still very young, you still have time!" but 24 is past the point where being miserable is cute anymore. Now it's a serious problem and trying to convince a gross unshaven 24 year old man not to kill himself has less of a "lifetime movie" vibe than telling a smooth-faced 16 year old sad kid that he has a future.
Anyways. I don't know why I'm writing this. There are people here who need serious help and I'm not even a threat to myself. I'll try to get right to the point then.
**tl;dr** I want to stop living. I feel like I'm running in circles between being completely miserable and non-functional and trying to be healthy only to fail again after a few months. How do I break that cycle and just become okay with being alive?
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self.SuicideWatch
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[NAW] I fucking hate laugh tracks. Heard good things about this Netflix show called "Disjointed". A minute into it I hear a laugh track. Nopitty fucking nope. Other things I hate are advertisements, pop ups, Herbalife and its shitty sales people and any other /\ scheme... anyways fuck laugh tracks.
edit: i just remembered that i hated these since i was a kid but programming was shitty in cuba (2 channels total when i was a kid) so i had to learn to tolerate it
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self.offmychest
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Anxiety, depression and alcohol withdrawal Okay, so I'm a heavy drinker who has been recently diagnosed with severe anxiety and severe depression. What I *thought* were panic attacks in the middle of the night are actually a combination of panic attacks *and* alcohol withdrawal symptoms. It happens like clockwork around 4am with sweats, shaking and nausea paired with severe anxiety.
The first thing I do every morning when I get out of bed is vomit, and these symptoms don't go away until I drink at least a few beers.
Does anyone have any advice for managing anxiety with alcoholism? Or a good way to help decrease my alcohol intake without suffering withdrawal symptoms? I don't want to quit drinking or join a group, I just want to get it to a manageable level so that the withdrawal symptoms stop (and stop triggering anxiety attacks). The withdrawal process is excruciating to the point where I'm considering keeping a bottle of whiskey by my bed and waking up in the middle of the night to drink some just to avoid the withdrawal.
Thoughts? Anybody been through this? Are there meds that help? The booze is definitely triggering my anxiety.
[FYI I just started taking Prozac and my alcohol intake per day is between 12 and 24 beers, maybe a couple of glasses of wine, and liquor if we've got it. It's noon and I've already had five beers and three shots of whiskey. My withdrawal symptoms start about 6 hours after my last drink.]
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self.Anxiety
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Need advice on anxiety right before bed making it impossible to sleep. [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
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I cant do this anymore There's no point of living. I make everyone cry and sad. I've made 3 people cry in the same fucking room, I want to fucking kill myself so bad. Just let me fucking die please. There's no me anymore. I'm gone. It's a black void. Let me die let me die
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self.depression
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I feel so alone in college. So alone i wanna die. Not to mention what the fk am i even doing here. This is the most drastic change in my life. I had the same friends since elementary till end of high school. Last few months i started going to college and ive never felt so lonely. Dont even know why im here. Maybe im just trying to be a smartass and get a college degree so my parents would be proud? I just wanna be on my bed all day and die. Life is fvcking stupid.
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self.depression
|
Friendzoned the Woman I Love I've had such a hard time grasping this breakup I'm going through. She cut me out of her life so suddenly and wouldn't let me even have a real conversation with her. It's been the most awful experience that I can remember. I've raved and ranted a lot to try and put myself in a better place mentally, but it kept coming back to the same thing... I needed to reach out to her. That never ended well.
I got the final goodbye and "don't call or come by again" today. I've had such a hard time accepting and understanding why she wouldn't just let me talk with her. I was constantly struggling in pain and missing her, and she couldn't talk for just a moment in peace? Well, all things said and done, I don't want any trouble and never did. I just wanted to talk to someone that I'd loved so much and who left so suddenly. How could she be so cold, I asked myself.
Well now it's hit me. I'm a terrible person for one thing that I did and never grasped it as I was doing it. I didn't realize the real impact.
I friendzoned the woman I loved and that loved me and that I was on a relationship with.
I pushed her right out of the 'wife-to-be and child-to-come mindset.' Without telling her, I stopped believing that I could reach that part of life with her. I grew distant. Not intentionally, just as a result of my mindset. She slowly and painfully watched and felt it as she went from being the love of my life to being the woman I was simply too selfish to let go. She continued to work on it and thought about it as I drifted away emotionally, often times alone. This went on for months until she reached a release point. And she left without any dialogue.
It crushed me and I've felt like the victim this whole time, constantly trying to teach out to fix what happened... Flowers, words, sincere gestures... And I couldn't understand how I couldn't even get a conversation from her. Now I know what I did. I feel terrible and will never get to apologize for it. She had a happy dream we were building, and without telling her, I took it away slowly and painfully.
If you read this... Know that I'm so fucking sorry. I was struggling and never meant for it to be like that for you. I'm happy you're on your way to better, even without me. I will always miss you and did truly love you. I'm just not as emotionally mature as I wish to be. Good luck and God bless.
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self.offmychest
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nihilism and depression so, this is my first time here, hello. Im 20 years old, and lately i've got this urge to take somethings off of my chest. I was never that social with other people in my youth and teenage years because I was all about videogaming, and it pretty much destroyed my life
This is not some type of "cry for help", I hate those things, I just don't have anyone to talk to and it relieves me a little typing to strangers here.
A lot of thoughts have been going through my mind lately, and I completely lost it watching the show "Stranger Things" and spent a full day watching interviews of the show's cast. how can those 12-14 years old kids be so mature? it blows my mind
I'm only bringing this up because I've come to realize that I wish I could go back and be like them, so that I could be anything I wanted to be right now. Being a kid again but mature as I am now or as those kids are, being geniune with no second intentions, that would mean the world to me. But I know that's not possible, and that tears me apart.
I hate everyone around me at the moment. I cant relate to no one except my little sister, but she doesnt understand these things yet. Everyone is bad to each other, hypocrisy rules around me, they have no empathy at all, they're basicly just living life and seeing where it leads them to, and it makes me really desperate because I dont wanna end up like them, I dont want to be caught in the routine, I dont want to have a forced marriage... things really suck right now. I dont even want to go to the christmas family reunion because it's always the same thing every year, they're all there pretending they're friends, but then backstabs go everywhere afterwards, it's ridiculous.
The thing is i'm getting scared with myself because i'm unconsciously adopting nihilism thoughts. I've read about depression and I'm pretty sure i've been with it for the last 3-4 years, but nihilism is something new to me and it makes me kind of scared. I cant find joy on anything, the only thing that was keeping me together was exercising, I was spending hours on it, but since I watched the show not even that makes me happy anymore, I just start thinking "what am I doing this for?" and no answer comes up. I hate my job and I could try and go to the university, the problem is there is no subject that im really into, and I dont want to spend years of my life studying something I dont like and make that my living for the rest of my life.
But I guess(hope) this is just a phase, right? I mean 4 years into it, i've read people who've gone through 15 years or more.. it just sounds not worth it for me
if you read everthing thank you, and it would really mean a lot to me knowing there's someone out there who can relate to this and if that someone has won this battle before, I could really use some advice
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self.depression
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Could depression be the cause of a flatline? I’m wondering if I really have depression or if it’s just me having a flatline. I hadn’t masturbated for over 100+ days which made me feel extremely down. I had extreme urges to masturbate and so on. I began to feel numb and loose all the motivation I used to have, I felt like a zombie. Maybe the flatline I was experiencing is giving me a depression like experience or depression was the thing that started me to masturbate in the first place. Both depression and my addiction to masturbating (3 times a day or even more) started nearly at the same time.
This may not be the right place to send this post on but thanks for reading nevertheless!
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self.depression
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low key traumatized by a missing day This is gonna sound really melodramatic but I was woken up by my roommate a few days ago and informed it was 6:30 pm and it was kinda traumatizing. I got in bed at like midnight the night before. I just completely missed an entire day. I had missed a TON of important things including turning in paperwork for a new job, depositing rent check, buying new pet food (they had to be feed people food), and therapy. And Id slept through therapy the week before. It was so scary to be missing a whole day. I felt like trash. to make matters worse Id taken LESS seroquel than usual because I’ve been tired all day. terrifying how i’m not in control of my own life like that. I often sleep until up to 3 pm with no alarm set and I’m depressed but NEVER that long (plus i had three alarms set that day to make sure i didn’t sleep through therapy again) . It was just horrifying
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self.bipolar
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I was sad ... but I'm angry now You have made me sad on how you treat our relationship. But now I am just mad. Mad at myself and at you. It's one thing to masturbate and everyone does, but doing it on cam for guys while I am in the next room. I'm sorry but I think this means divorce. I want sex al the time from you and this is what you do to me.
I am so fkn mad.
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self.offmychest
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Finding a balance between therapist and doc Hi all,
I've been going through a particularly difficult times including suicidal ideation and periodic psychosis. I've been hospitalized several times in the past couple months. I really love both my therapist and doctor for different reasons, but they both have very different ideas about my condition. My therapist tends to minimize things, I think partly to normalize what I'm experiencing. My doctor, on the other hand, blows the same information out of proportion. They have never really communicated. I've been through dozens of providers, and it is always the same.
Is anyone else in the same boat? Any advice?
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self.bipolar
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I have no personality or social skills, how can I become better at conversation? [deleted]
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self.depression
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I really hate myself I am thinking about killing myself.
I’m bisexual and though my friends and boyfriend are okay with this, my family has told me I’m gross and wrong. They even tried to send me to a conversion therapy program at one time. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I feel like my sexuality makes me a disgusting human being and I want to hurt myself.
I was also raped several years ago and later diagnosed with PTSD because of it. I had been doing so well with managing my symptoms until recently. Now I keep re-experiencing the event when I lie down in certain positions. I’m so disgusted with myself for letting that happen to me.
There are other things, but I guess those are the big ones. This feeling like I’m gross and disgusting has been present for a long time, and it’s gotten progressively worse. I want to kill myself. I don’t have a plan or anything, but I know that suicide is the only way to cure this feeling. I’ve tried therapy and medication without much lasting success.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Really just need someone to talk to I don’t want to go into too much detail here. My girlfriend of 4.5 years cheated on me and it’s really messing me up right now. I can go more in detail in PMs, I just need someone. I have no one irl.
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self.SuicideWatch
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I'm finally getting treatment for my depression. I've had depression since I was 11 years old. I have tried to kill myself many times and I have harmed myself even more times. I had enough and I went to the doctor today and talked about it. I was diagnosed for my depression and anxiety, with more research necessary to determine what other mental illnesses I may have. This is such a huge victory for me. I still have many more things that are wrong with me, and I'll never be normal. Regardless, this is a lot of progress for me and hopefully my life is headed in a better direction. Thanks for listening.
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self.depression
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Always lonely. Nothing will ever change. Is there any concrete, non-platitude reason not to end it? [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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Ready to throw in the towel. Only so much you can take. I started another acct for this.
I could write a wall of text but my situation is horrible. 46 years old, virgin(some by choice) unemployed long term many reasons, forever alone, with with mentally ill mom, codependent, lost. Went to party city to check out helium the other day. Talked to a girl about my intention with it, and she started to cry, she thought I was younger. She don't think it is over for me, but what does she know the pain I bear inside. She told me there is nothing to be ashamed about being a virgin, she is one too. Told me she is asexual though and gave me her number if I want to talk.
I work out every day and take very good care of myself, but I'm starting to think about doing very self destructive risky things. I hate myself and wish I wasn't born. I always had hope, went to school but life fucked me over and I am a prolapsed ass now. Hope I can get the courage to buy the helium again, she said she won't sell it to me and made me leave.
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self.SuicideWatch
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After-suicide thoughts. I’m not necessarily contemplating suicide. Just thinking about suicide and it’s nature/affection.
Here’s my main thought that I’ve found no contradiction to (and it’s making suicide sound less impactful which in turn is making it more, ok feeling)
Everyone says suicide isn’t ok because it just passes hurt to loved and close ones etc... but, my thought on that is, if I kill myself, why do I care about others grieving? I’m dead? Why should I give a fuck? If I want to die, I want to die.
And yes it sounds selfish, but, what’s the point? Suicide in of itself is selfish, so why have the pain passed on to others stop you. It’s just as selfish as killing yourself.
-forward note, staying alive is the selfless thing to do, it’s what everyone suggests? But when is it too much? Too much has been going on, and life doesn’t seem worth it. Literal rock bottom is worth than death, and I’d rather be dead than what I’m feeling right now. Death might hurt, or be scary, but I believe that emotional hurt is far more crippling than any physical pain could ever bring. And fear is just a fake state of mind so why even be scared at all.
I’m afraid to die and not die.
TL;DR
Idgaf who I hurt with killing myself.
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self.SuicideWatch
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my heart hurts my stomach is in knots and i hate everything. i can never have something good without fucking it up
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self.depression
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Does anyone else have completely unemotional episodes? My episodes are pretty short most of the time (usually no longer than a couple days) and after a depressive episode I always get a few hours where I’m completely unemotional, to the point I’ve started calling them “psychopathic episodes.” I don’t mean unemotional where I’m numb and empty like with depression, I’m literally just a blank slate. My anxiety completely vanishes, I feel nothing good or bad, and the only mild emotions I do have are more cognitive (very mild frustration in extreme cases, feeling content instead of excited, etc). I honestly love it more than mania, because it’s like being drunk except I have the same concentration and focus as when I’m sober. I’m completely care free, calm, and detached from burdening feelings. Does anyone else get this or know what this is? Is it some variation of hypomania?
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self.bipolar
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I get nervous and anxious when a Person calls me Is this normal and does anyone else have this problem
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self.Anxiety
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Thank you Hey everyone. I am in the midst of a major depressive episode. I’m not going to bore you with the details because y’all fucking know it. I’ve been battling MDD for a long long time and this episode has come from some very unfortunate life events. I finally subscribed to this sub and after reading some of the posts i was like OMG THIS IS ME. Lately I’ve been having such a hard time articulating myself. I screen shotted some of the more relevant ones to how I feel and am going to show them to my therapist tomorrow. I still feel like shit or nothing at all but I got up, made my bed after sleeping all day, cleaned my room and am going to take a long hot shower (it’s bad when you can’t even remember how long it’s been). I ache and yet I feel nothing. But after reading your posts I feel I’m not alone. Thank you.
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self.depression
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Developing rash after increasing lamictal dose... Past few days I've been incredibly itchy at night to the point I can't sleep. Today I woke up after a bad night of itching and my face, scalp and shoulders feel hot and sunburnt. I haven't been in the sun. I have a slight rash developing but it's barely noticeable.
I know that rashes on the medication can be SJS which is potentially life threatening but I've also heard that itchy rashes are a normal side effect. I don't want to stop taking lamictal as its been so good so far :(
Does anyone know, if it happens to be SJS, how long can I wait it out before going to the Dr/ER? I really dont want to spend Christmas in an emergency room. I suspect it might just be a side effect and not SJS but I also know I should get it checked anyway.
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self.bipolar
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Had to Take Klonopin Yesterday I woke up with a bad headache and I took ibuprofen and I just got worse, diarrhea and shivering. I started to panic so I took a klonopin (I can’t spell it right). It helped, I went to sleep for roughly 2 hours and woke up without the anxiety..
Here I am today feeling numb and disconnected from reality. All my feelings just feel numb. I got off of Zoloft 3 months ago and I’ve been fine other than the brain zaps that lasted 1 month.
Anyone know how to shake that eerie feeling?? I really don’t want to get back on an antidepressant. They made me feel like I was watching me live my life rather than actually living in the moment.
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self.Anxiety
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sleeping means having to wake up and get ready for the day all over again. i procrastinate going to bed because i know i may not have the motivation to get up and get dressed all over again.
put in contact lenses, brush teeth, take meds, its just a lot sometimes. ugh whats the point.
anyone else?
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self.depression
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Actually was about to attempt I got back from eating with my close friend and went to my room. I took my blanket and wrapped it tight around the pipes that attach to the emergency water sprinklers. I tied the other knot around my neck. I stood there contemplating if this would work. On one hand I do love my family a lot but on the other I have no friends and I am 19 with never having a girlfriend. I couldn’t do it because I am a coward. I am not even strong enough to kill myself, god I am so pathetic. I can’t live like this though it hurts too much.
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self.depression
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I don't want to live anymore It's just that life isn't for me. I don't belong here. I'm ugly, stupid, untalented, there is no way i could work or have a family. I'm too scared. I know people don't really like me. There is no reason for them to like me. I'm terrible friend. Everyone just wants to hurt me and make fun of me. I used to have a passion for art, but now i don't want to do it at all. I don't have depression or something, most of the time i'm alright. It's just that I want to die.
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self.depression
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Would totally be alright if a meteor just fell out of the sky and crushed me. Or something more likely to happen lol. Either way, would just be nice if I died suddenly.
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self.depression
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Has anyone else looked at their handwriting to see the difference between a manic and a depressive episode? My therapist asked me today if I journal, I told him I do frequently and he asked me if I noticed a difference in my handwriting during my episodes. He asked me if my handwriting seemed more scribbled and messy during manic times and neater during depressive times and when I am feeling okay.
I was shocked when I looked over my old journals as I could see almost a night and day difference.
I told him I write in block when I am not journaling and he suggested that I try to do this during my mania to help slow me down since I usually write in cursive when I journal. He stated That writing in block takes more time and attention to detail.
Any thoughts on this?
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self.bipolar
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Hating what’s become of my life I have almost no opportunity for a social life.
I work 2 jobs, go to school full time, am married, and have two kids.
I left my previous career to go back to school. Anyone who’s worked retail knows it sucks, more so during the holiday season. I couldn’t stand the thought of managing my store another day before I left, let alone another holiday season. I wanted better than 6 day 60 hour work weeks. I wanted to be a more present husband and father, I wanted to watch them grow, help them when they needed it and allow them to have amazing opportunities growing up.
Now not only do I put in more hours between work and school to pay bills, I’m having to work retail again to do it. My wife also works full time and her schedule is even more hectic in the summer than mine ever had been, and yet between the two of us and 3 jobs we still live paycheck to paycheck.
I’m so tired.
Tired of having nothing to show for all of the work my wife and I put in. It doesn’t look as if it’ll get better when I graduate either, which is still 4 years away for my masters. Same shit, different people wanting me to do it.
I’m angry about the hypocrisy I see in our society. I’m angry that as I work myself to the brink of suicidal thoughts (again), I see others that take what they have for granted and think I’m just not working hard enough because if I was I wouldn’t be in this situation.
I’m jealous of those that never had to work this much and yet have the ability to do what seems like almost anything they desire.
I’m sad that while I thought my intentions were good, it’s become harder to see any light at the end of the tunnel. It’s as if someone at the exit is attempting to close it and keep me inside, in the dark, alone.
I desperately want to give up. I want to say fuck it all and abandon everything.
I’d love to keep thinking I can make a difference. I’d love to continue thinking, as I had, that things will get better but as each day passes I realize there’s a more likely chance that it won’t. That I’ll be stuck hating my life, with no way out because we have no money to move.
I hate having to think I’ll need to make the decision soon between finishing my degree or loosing my house because I can not spend 25-30 hours a week completing my degree and understanding the material in a practical way while working like this.
I’ve tried to obtain a better job, but apparently being a retail manager for 7 years makes me overqualified for most of the jobs in my area (this is straight from the mouth of an employment specialist at my workforce center).
I’m tired of seeing my kids get sad and cry because even though I just got home, I can’t go play kickball with them, or watch a movie with them because I had to work at my other job so they have a safe place to live, or because I have a tenuous held belief of this thing called hope, that won’t provide any relief until I write dozens more essays to prove I understand something so those better jobs may be available.
I’m tired of being told I can’t be angry about my situation because it’s my fault I work so much and go to school.
I’m tired, angry, sad and wish the world was vastly different than it really is.
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self.offmychest
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Why is it so hard to give it all up [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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I'm sorry. I was stubborn. You were right and I was stubborn. Right from the beginning I was trying to force something that wasn't there. You tried to tell me but I was stubborn. I should have given you your space and probably taken some for myself; work out my own flaws. But I was stubborn, and broken and sad. And I wanted you to fix me, I demanded it. That was wrong. A responsibility that one should not try to shove off onto another person. I think about that last time we spoke face to face, on the porch. I remember the heart wrenching feeling in my chest as i watched you storm out. Anyways...I'm sorry.
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self.offmychest
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Happy Birthday Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Babycat,
Happy Birthday to you...
I love you always,
Babybear
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self.offmychest
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I just want a end for this To me the suicide is the nearest solution righ now. Every single time I question myself the why I leave my bed, why I try, why? To be honest I just remain living those 5 years with only the hope of something good happens but i think that hope betrayed me.
I feel empty, every single moment... I am sick of all, just too broke to love, just too weird to be loved and in the end of the day you still can't cry for help, because you know, people who have "everything" can not have depression. It's pretty ironic how life is killing me.
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self.depression
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My cousin did things to me and I’m so embarrassed. [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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Can't Stop Thinking About Having Sex with My Boss I'm married and I had a sex dream about my boss recently. It was a pretty intense enough dream that I've been lowkey school girl crushing on him at work. I have this primal urge to sleep with him and I don't know if it's just a phase or if it means something about myself.
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self.offmychest
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My birthdays tomorrow. I have so much planned. I should kill myself tonight.
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self.depression
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Experiences with depersonalization/derealization? I've read on some other forum that many people with bipolar disorder also struggle with depersonalization and derealization. I personally have for a long time and am super curious to hear whether there's a connection between the two for you guys?
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self.bipolar
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Going home for last time. Choosing to end my life soon. So going back to my hometown to check things out. The house I grew up in, the high school. Visit my grandparents graves .Haven’t been there in almost 18 years, sure things are different.
Kinda sad to have only one thing on the ole bucket list, but this is important for me before I go.
Leave Tuesday, will give updates. Don’t know why I’m posting this but I guess I just want there to be something out there in internet land from me when I’m gone.
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self.SuicideWatch
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My stepmom ridiculed me for my weight in front of my entire family [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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I don't even want to be "happy" anymore. I just want to feel at least neutral - at best. Everything's fucking deteriorating piece by piece. The spikes are anticipated but still hurt more than extra each day I'm alive. I'd like to say I'm getting "used" to the way I feel now. Anything slightly "better" than being completely miserable is reliving. If I cant feel absolutely shit, please let me feel maybe kind of shit. Or neutral. Just not what ever this bullshit is right now.
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self.depression
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Panic disorder Hi I'm Catalina. I have panic disorder. Just a severe case of anxiety. It's so bad I have ibs and lots of stomach pain due to freaking out constantly. how do u handle an attack when is paralyzing? I know the breathing and grounding yourself but I can't seem to snap out so I am pretty much homebound and I'm only 26. It has been better but I'm at an all time low. I no longer travel or work. Help.
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self.Anxiety
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recently left a relationship that was bad for my mental health [deleted]
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self.bipolar
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I Feel Like Such a Failure and Regret Everything [deleted]
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self.depression
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What to do if someone I know is suicidal? [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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Anxiety about going to a fitness class tonight. Going to a POUND class tonight. Haven’t done exercise since all of my anxiety peaked these last two weeks. My heart palps had been really bad, then improved but I feel them TRYING to get bad again today. I’m wondering if deep down I’m nervous about the class tonight. I don’t get out too often, so even going somewhere gets me worked up. My chest is uneasy and I’m really shaky. Appetite is down again.
Help me out, Reddit friends.
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self.Anxiety
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I was going to have a FWB and lose my virginity at a party, but a tall guy with a rumored big dick won her over. [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
|
It kinda makes me sad that most of the people on this subreddit are amazing people Nearly every post I've made under my accounts have always gotten really heartfelt replies that I couldn't hope to get from anyone that I've met irl. It makes me sad that these people have to deal with depression, they don't deserve it.
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self.depression
|
I don't want to live anymore I've been dealing with major depression and anxiety for some time now, I am using meds and seeing a psychiatrist but it does not help me a bit. I'm a son of a wealthy family and my family want me to continue the bussiness. My life is not a mess, I have a girlfriend who really loves me and I will break up with her in 10 hours. I'm not ugly, people usually say I'm good looking and charismatic. The reason I'm talking about this stuff is I see people who say they are ugly, their family do not like time etc. I'm not judging or underestimating them by any means, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying that I have a lot of things good in my life and I still do not want to live. I'm just so tired and sick of this life. The people. Everything. I realize sometimes that I'm really lucky in a lot of aspects in life, money, friends, love. But I still do not want to live this life.
PS : English is not my first language and I'm drunk. So, sorry.
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self.depression
|
Keto for mood management? **TL;DR:** has anyone tried a ketogenic diet and seen benefits in the mental health department?
I've been looking into the supposed benefits of a ketogenic diet and found [this article](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/diagnosis-diet/201706/ketogenic-diets-psychiatric-disorders-new-2017-review). Author admits that she's a keto person and most of the studies are *extremely* limited sample size, but they do show promise.
I mean it kinda makes sense. The diet was developed over 100 years ago as a method for managing seziure disorders and has more science behind it being beneficial for that. With anti-epilectics being a frontline treatment for bipolar, it follows that keto might work for it as well.
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self.bipolar
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I think it's funny people reject the idea that some die alone Reality can be pretty grim like that.
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self.depression
|
I want so badly to want to live I feel so bad for the way I am, I'm sorry, I truly am. It's been a long couple years and I've really tried, 4 therapists, so many medications, daily exercise, diet changes. For some reason something inside me wants me dead. I honestly just can't take anymore.
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self.depression
|
The movie "The Titan", perpetuating myths and stereotypes I don't know if anyone else noticed this. I watched The Titan today and it was a horrible movie, obviously, none of the writers had even a basic grasp on science, but one scene, in particular, bothered me.
The army is trying to control this fish/man/thing they genetically engineered and they have his Dr wife administer a drug. She protests and says: "This is a chemical lobotomy. You'll erase all of his memories." then the camera closes in on vials of liquid in a foam case and they're labeled "Quetiapine."
Really?!? A chemical lobotomy?!? It's bedtime, guess I'll give myself my chemical lobotomy now.
Like we need more of this crap in the world.
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self.bipolar
|
my friend committed suicide im a junior in high school. exactly a week ago my friend committed suicide. i wasn't extremely close to her, but i saw her everyday and i talked to her. i've known her for more than 3 years, she used to be my brother's girlfriend up until last summer. i just want to get my thoughts out because i dont want to talk about it with anyone. my best friend and i went to her house after getting an alarming message from her boyfriend. the ambulance was already there and we saw them take her to the hospital. the next day we heard she was in a coma and we went to go see her. seeing her broke my heart. i couldnt stop crying, i held her hand, and im not religious but i prayed for a miracle to happen. she passed away the next day. i can't sleep. i don't want to interact with anyone but my friend who was closer to her than i was. i cant stop thinking of her, every time i close my eyes i see her on that hospital bed.as a person who's diagnosed with depression and has had suicidal thoughts, it hurtsme even more to know how she felt. her parents wanted a small private funeral and its today. i still have to go to school but i just cant pay attention or do any of my schoolwork.
can anyone give me any advice for moving on? or at least being able to do my daily tasks?
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Well time for another day of work followed by drinking till I sleep What a wonderful life I live
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self.depression
|
Panic Attacks Getting Out of Control Hello everybody. I've never posted here before, but I just felt the need to express what I've been going through.
During the first week of December I had my first panic attack. I've always been a depressed person, since early childhood. I've had one anxiety attack, maybe around 2013.
My first panic attack was terrifying. I didn't understand what was happening to me or why. Everything was normal, then boom. I continued to have at least one a day, though usually more, up until the 23rd. Holidays always stress me out, so I figured that was a logical explanation. The attacks ended, and I was okay for the most part.
Two days ago I had a few more attacks, still not sure why. Today, as of 11:53pm, I've had seventeen panic attacks. In fact, the first thing I did today was have one, before I even got out of bed. I had two attacks every hour until 3:00... when I left work. I serve food, and had at least two attacks in front of customers. That was very, very difficult, but I was somehow able to keep my cool just enough. The only noticable symptom was my beat red face.
I'm exhausted and honestly fearful of tomorrow. I basically woke up mid-panic, how the fuck do you avoid that? I have a lot of stupid shit going on right now that I need to take care of and have been procrastinating, maybe that's why. The build up is too much for me right now.
So, that's my life right now. Thanks to anyone who actually read that, it felt good to get off my chest.
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self.Anxiety
|
Prescribed Wellbutrin XL generic 150mg Hi everyone, I'm sure this has been posted before, I just wanted to get some fresh perspectives.
Recently I was prescribed generic wellbutrin 150 mg XL from Dr. Reddy's laboratories, moderate depression and anxiety. I work full time and have a family, it's just been feeling for about a year that life just drags on and there really isn't any true happiness anymore. Does anyone have any experience with this medicine from this manufacturer?
I'm a little nervous to try it as I don't really like taking meds unless necessary, and I've heard the stories where antidepressants make your depression worse and make you suicidal blah blah blah. It's probably just my anxiety freaking me out but I just wanted to get some other first hand experience with this medicine/ manufacturer.
Thanks guys✌️
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self.depression
|
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