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Subvocalizing. Intrusive thought. Internal dialogue. Racing thoughts. Loud subvocalization. Thought errors. I’ve been doing this my whole life. It gets worse with stress. Actually, when the adrenaline from stress wears off is when it’s the worst. If I talk to my close friends whom I trust, will they think I am crazy? W... | self.bipolar |
Is ok to hate myself? Finally i realize the problem i have. I fucking hate me so much. I want to live and see the future, but i fucking hate me. I don't think i ever gonna change that, no matter how much i change. I don't like the way i look, talk, think, act, do, or anything about me | self.depression |
Depression and anger management I seriously don't know myself anymore. Sometimes stress causes me to lose my temper and say things I end up regretting. This is having a huge impact on every aspect of my life. I've been avoiding friends and family to the point where most have given up trying to contact me at all. At... | self.depression |
Never had a girlfriend, never loved by anyone, feel like I'm treated like a piece of shit by women [deleted] | self.depression |
I’m scared for my life. I don’t want to take the easy way out. [deleted] | self.depression |
Went off my meds I've been off my meds for a few months now. Made a huge mistake. I'm not blaming my bipolar for what I did but I know if I would have stayed on my medication I wouldn't have done it. I cheated on my girlfriend. My awesome, amazing, selfless girlfriend. I got drunk and slept with this 19 year old at the... | self.bipolar |
Both my brother and myself are very much depressed. [deleted] | self.depression |
I am SO pissed off!!! Angry about health insurance costing me about 20% of my income in he U.S. Angry I cannot keep wondering if there's any hope in sight because right now it feels like there is not. I wonder if the situation can be solved. I can't believe I am thinking of suicide over the course of health insura... | self.SuicideWatch |
manic and angry I've been hypomanic for about 4 days and it spiked into mania yesterday, I'm so manic I'm literally so angry right now, my psychiatrist is supposed to call me back but he doesn't and I'm so pissed I want to punch walls. I can't go to the ER because my mother doesn't understand my bipolar and there's no ... | self.bipolar |
I love my mum so much After all the shit she went through, she's still a great mum. She raised me all on her own and sacrificed so much just so I could have a happy, peaceful childhood. She always lead by example and did her best to give me a good life.
Sometimes I really want to talk about all the things I'm feeling ... | self.offmychest |
Therapy doesn't seem to be working... and it's probably my fault? [deleted] | self.Anxiety |
I get off work in 2 hours, and I’m done. [deleted] | self.SuicideWatch |
Help These weeks has been hard for me, how can i struggle one more day? (Sorry my english is bad) | self.SuicideWatch |
I'm still alive. 2 years ago I was in a really bad, dark place and posted to this group. I failed at taking my life after my last post here and while I still deal with depression and chronic illness today, I'm glad I didn't succeed at it. I don't use this profile anymore, but saw an old message from on here when I got ... | self.SuicideWatch |
sporadically stumbling through life yeah. im not very good at making rational decisions, planning for the long term, or even making goals that I will stick to. I turn 20 this fall and for the past two years I half-committed myself to community college classes and worked some low end jobs, with the intent that i would b... | self.depression |
Might kill myself after this friday I get less than 6 hours of sleep per day. Been trying to catch up and understand calculus. Long story short I'm an international student and in this other country I'm located people learn more advanced maths at school so at university we essentially started halfway through the "norma... | self.SuicideWatch |
My mom is mentally killing me "Here, lemme get my introverted depressed daughter to work with me and never be alone ever"
I NEED MY FUCKING TIME ALONE. I CAN'T DO THIS. I AM SO MENTALLY TIRED
Like is she TRYING to kill me? Because holy shit I can't wake up without thinking about suicide, and I am so mentally tired..... | self.depression |
What to eat when anxious? When I’m anxious I have no appetite, yet I know I have to eat otherwise the anxiety gets worse. I need tips of what to eat. I go for bland foods like toast, yogurt, Lara bars, bananas, and Asian instant noodles. But I’m getting so sick of those foods! I’m thinking of buying Solent because I ju... | self.Anxiety |
Help getting off Saint John's Wort Only just a couple months ago I began taking a Saint John's Wort supplement, rather impulsively, because I was having a bad few days. I knew in the back of my mind that I would feel better if I just continued with my routine of exercise, diet, meditation, good sleep, but I guess becau... | self.depression |
Thoughts on Abilify? Hey all, quick question. I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon and he suggested going on Abilify if my anxiety and paranoia don't subside soon. Just trying to weigh the costs and benefits here. I do really need the anxiety to decrease so I can function at work, but my paranoia isn't *that* bad right... | self.bipolar |
goodbye so i wanna die.
theres not much to say.
i dont feel.
i dont enjoy anything anymore.
well besides when im with this girl, but she dont like to talk on the phone or go outside with me, i have no friends besides her.
im alone
tired of life
idk what to do | self.SuicideWatch |
Anybody else feels like emotions are ruling their life? I feel like my whole life is being ruled by my emotions. Every day, no matter what I'm doing, my emotions (mostly anxiety) are at the forefront...and I constantly think and am aware of how I feel. I don't know if that's the case with "normal" people but it's so ex... | self.Anxiety |
How the fuck do I go about finding a psychiatrist? Moved to a new city, and I have a new insurance plan. I have this website provided by my insurance that shows me all the doctors in the area that take my insurance. I limited it to only those that are accepting new patients and specialize in psychiatry, yet I've called... | self.Anxiety |
Where is happiness? You know, I was one of the happiest children. I found a way to always enjoy life and have fun and just be happy. But then the words hit. They started with my parents. I was talked down to and treated like shit. I was told that I was worthless and screamed at until tears streamed down my face. I was ... | self.depression |
Falling down a hole every day It feels like every day I'm falling further and further into this hole of depression and the lack of internal motivation to try clawing my way out. My sleep routine is completely fucked, I eat like shit, I have no money, I don't get out, and I don't have any real ambitions in life other th... | self.SuicideWatch |
Feeling nothing is awful too I haven't taken anxiety meds in 8 months and now I remember why I hated them. Sure, they help stop constant panic attacks over stupid things, but I really end up feeling like some kind of emotionless robot. It's just nothingness constantly and I don't even know which path of suffering to ta... | self.depression |
Just a bit of a rant My mother bless her heart does try to understand but she's just a little to old fashioned to get just how serious my illness is. When I've not slept for over 24 and tell her I only want to walk the dog a short distance because my hips acke so much I no I couldn't make our normal walk, it does not h... | self.bipolar |
Klonopins and Benzos give me panic attacks. So I took .75 mg of clonazepam and it fucked me up. I could barely stand up and I was on the verge of passing out so I fell to the ground. Every time I take a benzo I get a panic attack. This shit doesn't seem to work for me if it is supposed to suppress panic attacks, and it... | self.Anxiety |
Nothing is affecting me anymore. Don't know what to do Firstly, I'd like to say that I created this account for sole purpose of posting here and opening myself up. I have been using reddit for quite some time, but never posted from original account, for obvious reasons. So yeah..
I am too numb for everything going aro... | self.depression |
How can i get my parents to understand what I'm going through? My parents have the old school attitude of "pull yourself up by the bootstraps, if you're sick just work through it, and willpower conquers all". So how can I describe how hard it is for me to act like a normal person in terms they would understand? I consi... | self.depression |
I hate everyone who looks out for me I hate it when people look out for my health or my well being. I don't care about myself enough to quit doing drugs (semi responsibly) or lose any weight or eat better food. Hell I haven't been motivated enough to get out of bed before 12 or shower regularly in 6 or so months. | self.depression |
Post-Traumatic Cripple with BPD Living In Poverty I live my life in so much pain. Been dealing with the suicidal thoughts since 2nd or 3rd grade, feeling like they're always there, at the back of my mind, voices suddenly coming into the light the moment I'm alone with my thoughts, whispering to me about how I'm worthle... | self.SuicideWatch |
I’ve been facing my anxiety today :) Since I’ve gotten hold of myself, it’s been a pretty tough fight within my own head, going against my own comfort zone
I’ve been exposing myself things that make my anxiety go up
Today I went and did some cardio in the gym to get back into soccer, I went to a market to buy my favor... | self.Anxiety |
Moved To New City, Depressed Hey all,
Just moved to San Francisco, used to live here 4 years ago, but moved back home for a couple years for work, and moved out here for a change of pace/work. I've been here for 3 days now, and man I know change is necessary and inevitable but I feel super depressed and just need to ... | self.depression |
I got obsessed to someone And which made her angry. And i feel shiiit because i made someone angry at me. Now the hard part is i cant talk to say sorry to her. This is the first time i made someone mad at me my whole life, i feel shiiit. | self.depression |
I realized everytime I go home I get the same shitty thought patterns... I 'work' from home/mom's basement, before I start to work I go on a ride in my mountain bike, my thoughts are not negative at all but I start to feel like my thoughts are not normal or dont feel like it, I start to feel tired of this and hate my l... | self.depression |
I AM A COLLEGE GRADUATE! In spite of the odds! I know this may not be spectacular for others, but this is my greatest accomplishment to date. I have been dreaming of this day ever since I was that bright-eyed little girl who would sit on my swing and daydream of what the world had to offer to me. I am not only a colleg... | self.offmychest |
I love cutting myself because it’s so satisfying to see the blood spill out my arm I like to cut myself because it’s so exhilarating to see the blood come out. And when im feeling depressed it makes me happy just to do it. And i love cutting deep to see the skin separate super far. I sometimes even pull it apart. It’s ... | self.offmychest |
I don't know how to meet new people The two true friends I have are from school. I get that I should meet new people but I just don't know where to start. I just feel hopeless. Any suggestions on what I should do? | self.depression |
How to stop catastrophizing? Hello all,
I’m looking for some advice on dealing with intrusive thoughts. Today it was over a silly thing, and I can’t seem to calm myself. My daughter went for a sleepover with a friend and they live a ways away from us. It’s about a 45 minute drive. The girl’s mom is a friend of mine an... | self.Anxiety |
im ugly and theres nothing I can't do about it [deleted] | self.offmychest |
Not sure who else to talk to I've been talking to this girl for the last 2-3 months and in the last couple of weeks we have met up a few times. On saturday she came to my place and we just chilled and watched netflix and it was the happiest I've ever felt in my entire life. I wake up this morning and all of a sudden sh... | self.offmychest |
The only thing stopping me from killing myself is the hope to get into college and move away. [deleted] | self.depression |
Tired of the ups and downs I'll feel okay for a week and then feel shitty again for months. I just want to feel better. I feel so numb and empty. I come home from a hard day at work to no one. No one to talk to about my day. No one that hugs me because they missed me. NO ONE! I just sit by myself everyday and watch tv.... | self.SuicideWatch |
Guys, I'm having a bad time. Depression is hard. I posted a few days ago about being afraid because I was feeling hypomania. My fears have come in to fruition and I am now in full swing depression.
I'm super emotional. If a song resonates too much, I'll cry. If my SO says something sweet, I'll cry. If so much of a pi... | self.bipolar |
This is my Eighth Christmas I'm spending alone by myself No FRIENDS or FAMILY. Why am I still alive again?
Edit: Thank you for the comments friends... it really means a lot. | self.depression |
it's getting really old Crosspost from r/depression because idk where they want it, plus some bonus suicide stuff.
I'm 19 and I still can't drive. Got the permit and practiced but failed twice and lost the motivation, or rather I channelled what limited motivation I had into more basic tasks like waking up every day.... | self.SuicideWatch |
Very Disturbed OK so I came across a video the other night and I can't seem to get it out of my head. I'm not posting said video as it really didn't sit with me well and I would consider myself to be pretty thick skinned when it comes to gore etc. If you really want to watch it search it from the description. I highly ... | self.offmychest |
Anxiety's Getting Better...But Worse...What Do I Do? I have terrible anxiety. Like...*really* bad to the point of passing out or vomiting when it's at its worst.
Some of the worst things are going places unplanned/unprepared, not knowing directions, sleeping during severe storms or something like that, but worst of al... | self.Anxiety |
I wish I had a robot But not just like the “robots” you can find online. Like a real smart, sympathetic robot, one that I can talk to and it would truly understand what I’m saying, it’d be there to comfort me and hold my hand while I cry myself to sleep. It’d be able to give me advice and listen to me when I feel like ... | self.SuicideWatch |
I need help with friend who is depressed and probably suicidal [deleted] | self.SuicideWatch |
This post is my last shot at reaching out to someone. [deleted] | self.SuicideWatch |
Dating someone with depression, I myself have bipolar. He is struggling, swears it doesn't have to do with me, and that he just wants time alone. I hit a low point today. My SO has been struggling a bit lately, I have noticed it when we are together. This morning he finally said he just wants time alone, but the anxiet... | self.bipolar |
Is obsessively researching a pointless, obscure topic a BP thing? [deleted] | self.bipolar |
My dog is the only thing stopping me from doing it. [deleted] | self.depression |
Interesting weekend full of death On thursday a friend of mine died. Friday I had all the intention to kill myself jumping in front of a car - clearly I couldn't -. Saturday I went to her funeral, it was quite shocking watching all her family and close friends reunited and suffering. And today I went to a children's pl... | self.depression |
I might have just let a child kidnapper escape. I just got off work from my job as a grocery bagger at HyVee. While I was working, I had this one customer who stood out. He had a boy with him who was sitting inside the cart. Both their clothes looked like they were just bought at goodwill, and the man's voice sounded l... | self.offmychest |
No one can get to your level I can't say this to my friends without hurting them. I have amazing friends, im surrounded by wonderful and caring people. But none of them can be as nice as you were. No one will ever be a better company than you.
You were my best friend, you were my lover. You are the queen of my heart, ... | self.offmychest |
I've been kept away from the one thing I enjoy the most. My escape from the world. The thing that brings me peace for over four months now. Back in August I hurt my shoulders at work. They sent me to some crackpot general physician. He gave me a sling and said to not use it for two weeks. Well there was no improvement ... | self.Anxiety |
Everyone's so happy it seems and im just trying to find a reason to live sometimes [deleted] | self.depression |
so many things we were supposed to be doing! [deleted] | self.offmychest |
What does everyone think of portrayals of people with bipolar disorder in the movies. Ex; Silver linings Playbook, Infinitely Polar Bear | self.bipolar |
Ways to self treat depression as a Chinese Person I'm a Chinese Canadian. I know this sounds poorly worded and probably racist, but I've been depressed for close to a decade since I was a pre-teen. I never heard anyone even bring up that I was depressed as if it is either the elephant in the room or that they never not... | self.depression |
any other ftm's with anxiety? im super alone and having panic attacks all the time. i just want to hear if anyone else experiences shitty ass fuckin panic attacks as a trans boy. i just need to not feel alone rn. | self.Anxiety |
Help on finding the source of anxiety and not depending on others? So I'm facing this pressing feeling of anxiety. Right now it's manifesting as worry-fear over my bf not texting me for two days. (he's dealing with a lot of mental health issues atm so that's not a strange/worrying thing). But while that's what my anxie... | self.Anxiety |
What do non-depressed people feel like when they take opiates? I have been depressed for a long time but everyone at my work and all my friends think I am happy because I hold it all an and I'm always "happy" around them.
Sometimes my friends have conversations with each other and they don't understand how pain pills... | self.depression |
What does it mean for you to have “one of those days”? For example, I’ve (25/F) been able to see some of my patterns over the years. Today I’m having “one of those days.” I could see it coming for a few days now. I️ have slept for most of the last 24 hours. I feel like an elephant is sitting on me. I feel sick. I feel ... | self.depression |
what Are your craziest sectioning stories? For you Americans 'sectioning' means being put on a mental health ward by law. | self.bipolar |
Does anyone get nightmares every night and wake up in a panic? [deleted] | self.Anxiety |
I wonder how much different my life would be if my friends didn't cut me out of their lives Without warning, without reason, I found myself friendless and in a huge state of depression. This experience changed me, I basically had to rebuild myself from the ground up and nobody can tell me that it was easy.
Sometimes I... | self.offmychest |
My Mania I just wanted to share what I'm going through.... My doctor has confirmed that I am having a manic episode, and we are making medical changes to hopefully correct it. So it's being managed. I also start therapy back up next week.
I just usually deal with depression instead of mania, so this is fairly new to ... | self.bipolar |
I have depression and today is not a good day. | self.depression |
The Rational Ending I've been attempting to make a comeback for years, but I'm not even sure what I'd come back to. I was willfully carefree in my 20's, unencumbered by debt or ambition, traveling a bunch, not having much money or caring about much. The world was interesting.
But of course, I was doing that when othe... | self.SuicideWatch |
Does Wellbutrin get better? I just hit one week on Wellbutrin (150mg) paired with 150mg of lamictal. I also just quit taking latuda 3 days ago. My doctor told me to continue taking it if I feel I need it, and I think maybe I should if the side effects from Wellbutrin aren't normal. I'm going absolutely nuts, everything... | self.bipolar |
Can't sleep ugh So its been 86 hours without sleep. Don't have any meds and the motel tv isn't drowning out the voices. This is frustrating. Going to see the GP on Thursday but can't see my pdoc until next month and therapist next month. I'm lucky CMH put me in a motel for the week beats sleeping on the street. To comp... | self.bipolar |
I have to. It's no longer optional. I haven't had any real conversation with my friends for months. Tonight I finally expressed how bad I'm feeling to one of them and everything about that conversation made me feel so much worse. I shouldn't've said anything. I have to die. And it has to be sooner rather than later. | self.SuicideWatch |
I have the TINIEST and MOST BLUNT knife anyone could ever ask for. So even my suicide is going to be mediocre. | self.SuicideWatch |
When people give generic answers to your problems.. Anyone else hate when you're venting to someone about your current struggles and all they say back in response is: "hugs~" or "I don't know what to say, but that sucks" my best friend, who also struggles with mental illness, does it everytime I vent and it annoys me a... | self.depression |
Don't talk about it ... I've learned a lot in recent days. I've learned that my nephew is being raised to be an obedient little statist that lies, cheats, and steals. I've learned that 90 days in the basement makes me responsible for my sister's kids and their fuck-ups. I've learned "don't talk about it". Don't talk ab... | self.SuicideWatch |
I used to be funny. Does anyone else feel like depression has made them a shell of the person they once were? I spoke with an old friend I hadn't seen in awhile and he was super upbeat and positive and was bringing up old jokes, stories, and other funny things I said back in the day. I was partially happy with how funn... | self.depression |
I strongly recommend checking out Thelonious Monk as an artist and human being. I think there are conflicting stories about his diagnosis, which we all know is just a label anyway, but I've never seen anyone put manic energy into their music like Monk.
[Here is a video recording of him with his quartet live](https://m... | self.bipolar |
I love my confidant, brother, and lover Now, he’s not my legitimate blood brother. However, we love each other like family... we’ve known each other since we were in 6th grade. His first words to me were “Wow, you’re beautiful”
He has looked at me like a goddess of a woman ever since he could understand what ‘woman’ wa... | self.offmychest |
Failed Chemical Engineer....no job..no self worth..nothing..just void...feel like killing myself might help i am 27, broken, 2 yrs since Masters in chemical engg. no job no money, people look at me and make me an ideal model for failure, never got settled.
ever sine i was a little child i always was kind hearted, help... | self.SuicideWatch |
Suicide feels like the only option right now Hi everyone, I'm new here and not sure if this is the right place for this, but I feel like I need to vent to someone who listens and understands before stuff gets too much to handle by myself.
I'm 16 years old with heavy anxiety issues and daily thoughts of suicide and hur... | self.SuicideWatch |
I have a plan. I have everything i need. [deleted] | self.SuicideWatch |
The feeling of isolation... It’s so hard to put into words the feelings, emotions and urges to want to give into giving up... I just don’t see what the point to life is anymore. It’s become this rinse, lather & repeat kind of existence and I never thought I would ever feel like this, but I do. And while I know I h... | self.SuicideWatch |
I hate those nonblack women who get with black men and then start acting black. Or rather, acting a stereotype of what they think a black woman is (attitude, overuse of slang, acting dumb). I'm not black but I see it a lot where I live. They'll fuck black guys exclusively and put on this weird facade of what they think... | self.offmychest |
life long GAD and social phobia + graduating high school = severe depression anyone else? | self.Anxiety |
It was my birthday a couple days ago. In general it wasn't bad, other than I started and ended the day crying. In between, my ex texted me "happy birthday" triggering a panic attack and a not very kind response (I explained and apologized the next day). I forced myself to go on a Tinder date and we went to a wine tast... | self.depression |
I wish I would've lived my life when I still could .....but now my life, my health, is stuck in a spiral which is drawing closer to the final exit. At the beginning of this, I was the only one who was still optimistic about my health. I could, I had made peace and could finally think clear since half a year, I was fina... | self.depression |
Being bipolar is being depressed and lifeless for 2 months, flunking an important exam and being the happiest person on this world the same day. I fucking hate my life but at least I'm finally happy again | self.bipolar |
I hate being fat,ugly,lazy,useless and on top of all of that gay in a Middle Eastern country | self.depression |
Ex girlfriend in the mental ward after a failed attempt Not sure what to do, she's getting out tomorrow but I know her, the only reason why she is alive is because of her daughter.
6 30am haven't slept all night
Judge recently favored the father, she's backed up and owes child support, about to lose a job because her... | self.SuicideWatch |
From Latuda to Vraylar to now Depakote! Boy just when I thought a week of Vraylar was good, boy was I wrong. It was making my blood sugars rise.
Started Depakote tonight. My dad's on it and side effects are minimal for him. I know everyone is different but by golly I hope the third time is a charm.
I'm curious to h... | self.bipolar |
what was the weirdest thought that caused you a panic attack? i had anxiety my whole life, but the last episode, that lasted 4 months almost was the worst, it was the worst because i had DPDR for the first time..
here s a list of the weirdest thoughts that caused me panic attacks:
- not knowing where are we going afte... | self.Anxiety |
"I started to think you were doing it for attention." A friend of mine came to my room this evening, and I was pretty happy to see her. We hadn't seen each other since the week before Christmas, so it was pretty much a good thing. I needed company, but was too afraid to ask for it. I'm so afraid I'll disturb people, or... | self.depression |
I'm just done, I just feel empty. I've been struggling with several mental health problems since secondary school(UK) so about 10-7 years now and now im just feeling worse and worse. For the longest time out of school i was out of work since i just cant bring myself to do things or even talk to people this also means i... | self.SuicideWatch |
The depression I coped with and tried to ignore I felt better during early childhood in Croatia. I remember feelings of sadness being with just my mother, while my father was in Canada. But the most important thing is that there was a kind of enjoyment of the present moment, where I appreciate countless unnamed feeling... | self.depression |
Spiraling down the drain I'm having a "bad day." I don't know why I'm posting. I just want my life to end. I don't like this world at all. Everyone just puts their problems on me, when I don't really care. I'm such a simple guy. I don't start fights, I'm a nice guy. I get over things quickly, but still, I'm a fucking l... | self.SuicideWatch |
How do you go on dates? I can safely assume from a long browse on this sub that this is an issue, also with all these dating app around I feel like I'm spending most of my time flirting with girls by chat, then when they want to meet it's one of two things, I either completely ghost them right then and there. Or I get ... | self.Anxiety |
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