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ouchey it hurts so bad i want to end it all
self.SuicideWatch
Weekends are the worst There's nothing to distract myself on the weekends. I did spend time with friends Friday and Saturday, but the majority of the time I just sit at home and watch youtube or do some other dumb shit. I've been trying to quit drinking and smoking weed, but they really numbed the weekend away to make ...
self.depression
No one should have to suffer this much Waking everyday wishing I had just died in my sleep the night before as usual. Going to school come back home contemplate suicide once again. Sometimes take pills. Wake up in the morning once same thought process like before. It's the same thing over and over again it justvdoesnt ...
self.depression
Lack of sleep = anxiety level 10000 Currently sat at work after a few days not sleeping properly absolutely convinced that something bad is going to happen at some point today. Overthinking to the maaaaax. I love being in my head sometimes...
self.Anxiety
I’m awake yet I’m locked in a dream, is this a form of anxiety? I feel like I could potentially suffer from anxiety so this may have something to do with this but I am unsure, however, I went to the doctors a few months ago about my lack of sleep but they were extremely unhelpful and basically told me to buy over the c...
self.Anxiety
Is it a bad idea to get into a relationship before fixing myself? Is it selfish? I know I would be a much happier person if I'm being appreciated and loved more. At the same time, I feel like I'm using someone to treat my depression even though I am not doing it just to fix myself.
self.depression
My therapist groomed me from the ages of 15-17 and used me for sex and I'll never forgive myself for letting him I was 15 and in a dark place when I met James (name changed). My mom has met him through work and told him about how I had been struggling. I had been lost my virginity to rape several months earlier by my b...
self.offmychest
newly diagnosed. How do I repair relationships I was just diagnosed with bipolar I disorder and medicated. This came this week after the highest high (sorry, im still learning the terminology) followed by a low where I had to be hospitalized. My most recent "high" cost me my best friend and my boyfriend. I was unfaithf...
self.bipolar
My Anxiety Story Long word document here, no TL:DR. this is my story dealing with anxiety and panic attacks and how i got out of it eventually, decided to write it for everyone i know can read and understand what anxiety is and how horrible it can be. i probably missed some details from the story because my memory from...
self.Anxiety
I really want some whiskey. Scotch preferably. Please send some over. And then some more. Actually can I have it all...? So I’ve been working on this thing. It is supposed to be a streaming service thing (think Netflix but a very specific service). I had this idea a couple of years ago. I cast it aside as a great idea...
self.bipolar
Feeling extremely down and out. Does anybody want to talk? [deleted]
self.depression
Is this a form of anxiety? I'm scared of showing my true self to my family, I fear they will judge me or feel disappointed. I never give my opinion if I know it could offend them, I never listen to music without headphones because I don't want them to know what music I listen to (even if it's the type of music they lik...
self.Anxiety
Job interviews are impossible for me Hey I'm 18 and out of high school, therefore I'm forced to put myself into an extremely uncomfortable position by family and get a job. For starters, I've never been diagnosed with anything but ADD as a young child; I'm almost for certain I have GAD though. So far, I've had a few i...
self.Anxiety
Reflecting on bipolar and relationships Hi everyone. I recently started dating someone who was diagnosed BP I and is medicated. I'm new to this sub, so instead of asking something that has already been asked, I searched through some of the older posts about BP and romantic relationships. Some of them are uplifting, an...
self.bipolar
Got baited, and outsmarted at the club :( **TL;DR:** * Saw a beautiful girl at the club, easy 10/10 for my tastes * Had the balls to talk to her after a few drinks * Her smile and mannerisms with me initially made her seem mutually interested * Bought her and her friends drinks * One of my friends was pret...
self.offmychest
My bestfriend WARNING: This is me looking for advice, i haven't read the rules of this subreddit and i don't know if this is allowed. If i break any rules i'm sorry. Only a few hours ago my best friend of 4 years told me he tried to kill himself a few days ago, i had noticed he was different over the past months but i...
self.SuicideWatch
Thinking of committing suicide but can't bring myself to it. [deleted]
self.SuicideWatch
I can't do anything I'm spiraling. I can't force myself to work. I can't force myself to exercise. I can't even write the post I wanted to write here. It weighs too much.
self.depression
Bipolar 1 (6 years) and curious about your experiences with dreams. [deleted]
self.bipolar
just wondering about my situation :) hey guys, new to this sub Reddit, and actually Reddit in general. I never thought I'd make a post like this, but things happen. I'm a happy person, I live a good life, but a lot of things are missing. About a month ago, I had my first panic attack, and for a week after I was sever...
self.SuicideWatch
I have nobody. I don't feel like anybody truly cares about me. I just want to be someone's priority. Fear I may start cutting again. [deleted]
self.depression
I feel like I'm the most flawed existing human I know [deleted]
self.offmychest
My ex let one of the cats run away [deleted]
self.offmychest
Everytime I get attracted to a girl i get sad. I remember the last girl i got attracted to and think "Look at that, she's so beautiful, sadly i know deep inside my heart that i won't get never a girl like that"
self.depression
”Only you can change your life. It’s up to you to make that decision” I hear this all the time from everyone. Friends, counselors, therapists, you name it. I’ve heard it so much so it’s become annoying. Like, really really annoying. The reason I became so miserable in the first place was because I took action when my...
self.SuicideWatch
I honestly can’t tell whether 2017 has been the best or worst year of my life so far... I’m sorry if this seems kind of all over the place, I really tried to organize these thoughts, but it’s almost 3am so it’s a bit difficult and I just wanted to get this off my chest... As 2017 comes to a close, I’ve been reflecting...
self.offmychest
It’s diagnosis day! Waiting in the doctors office now to confirm my diagnosis. Wouldn’t be funny if I’m not bipolar even though I’ve already got through all the stages of acceptance and joined the subreddit. It’s only been a week but if I’m not bipolar, I’ll miss you guys.
self.bipolar
Love Not really related to r/depression but don't know where else to post it. Should I tell a girl i have feelings for her and I care about her even though iam pretty sure she doesn't feel the same way about me? So I have nothing to lose.
self.depression
Being nice this year.. So far this year i've been such a better person mentally. I've set many positive goals, done things I never would have thought i've done. Im even started to curse less! To be honest last year i'd talk shit about anybody, and anyone; even my own fucking friends. This year it has to stop, im going...
self.offmychest
Here I am again Yesterday was so good. Today is not so good. I'm in emotional pain. My thoughts keep pushing towards the darker things. They try to make me think no one cares about me and that I am a mistake. I'm so sad, yet numb. I'm crying. I'm in pain. I don't want to live, but that doesn't mean I want to die. I'm j...
self.bipolar
Crushed My VR appointment went well. However I am crushed how long the process for employment will be. I feel so crushed and empty because I can’t live another painful day. I’m so hurt that I have to live through more pain to feel better, to get better. I’m so wiped and I basically feel like death.
self.bipolar
Hanging myself tomorrow, can no longer bear the weight of my own patheticness I hate my life and I don't want to live anymore. School makes me beyond depressed, and I hate myself so much. I've been a failure my entire life at everything I have done, and I just want it to end. I will lie to my parents and tell them I am...
self.depression
I had it together for so long and now everything is falling apart... [deleted]
self.SuicideWatch
Afraid of having fun, end up behaving like I'm miserable. [deleted]
self.Anxiety
Anyone else struggle with loss of reality? Really feeling out of it, like really dissociated. I can’t live in the moment regardless of how exciting something is. I’m constantly in my mind. - Conversations are really difficult to have. I sometimes forget other people live with me until I hear them and I’m like oh shit ...
self.depression
ADD Inattentive and BiPolar II ... anyone else? Hi there, I am 30 yo female who was diagnosed as ADD Inattentive in Highschool, prescribed all those study candies and made it through college (where I began binge drinking and smoking pot)... also had a bout of serious depression and started Lexapro, which lasted only a...
self.bipolar
My boyfriend deserves better (CW: Mental illnesses). Background: I suffer from depression, GAD, and OCD. I am also recovering from EDNOS, and both my therapist and psychiatrist suspect that I may suffer from PTSD because of some events growing up. Anyways, I have the most loving boyfriend. We met our freshman year in c...
self.offmychest
Never felt this empty in my entire life I don’t want to be around. I am a financial burden to my parents, people would be better off without me. I have no future, so what’s the point. I’m just wondering :/
self.depression
I have ruined my life, wasted the time & resources of people who cared for me.. I need to die [deleted]
self.SuicideWatch
Woke up this morning with weird chest “bubbles” that feel like heart palpitations? It’s been going on for few hours now and is freaking me out. I have been farting here and their so could be gas but I didn’t eat anything that has a lot of fiber these past few days, I do remember that I’ve been taking a lot of deep brea...
self.Anxiety
Not sure how to title this. Honestly speaking, not sure how to title this. Or even how to start. I guess it's good to start from the start. For the last several months, I've been with a new partner, after leaving my last relationship. It didn't end well, and since then, thing's have been a mixed bag. I've had good thi...
self.offmychest
Anyone else want people to treat them like shit Idk why but I just want people to treat me terribly so I can feel worse
self.depression
I feel like I'm so depressed that it's hard to even pretend to be happy Does anyone else feel this way?
self.depression
I'm walking down this road.. as far as I can see ahead, it's just more of the same. All that's behind me, just more of the same. What am I even walking for anymore? Just because walking is what I do? Just because it's what everyone does? Occasionally I'll meet someone with a smile on their face along ...
self.depression
I don't know how I'm going to do Christmas this year. I lost my job in March this year after trying to return to work after maternity leave. I've been looking for a job since but have yet to get an offer although I've had several interviews. I'm a kinda stepmom too. My fiance has 2 kids from a previous marriage and th...
self.offmychest
Instead of hurting myself, I instead gave to charity Lately I’ve been in a deep depression. Tonight after class, I walked to my car trying not to have a panic attack. Got in my car and completely broke down. When I got home, I got my mail and got a holiday card for the local domestic violence shelter about donating. So...
self.depression
I hope to god this feeling is only because of seasonal affective disorder. I'm tired of wanting to die or get high every day. This is so fucking draining. The suicidal ideation is so invasive, it's getting real old. Same with wanting to get loaded all the time. 2 years is a long time to not use drugs or alcohol to any ...
self.SuicideWatch
I feel so disgusted with myself. man i fucking hate talking to people because i just feel disgusted with myself for being a waste of space and not being able to hold a conversation i hate having friends / knowing people because they give me so much anxiety and worry that theyre all gonna gang up on me and make my life ...
self.depression
My brain never shuts up. It shoots at me with bad memories consisting of emotions like embarrassment and fear. Can't remember specific memories just the overall feelings which is in itself torture. Why am I like this. I've never not been the worrying type. I've always had fears and doubts like "am I adopted?" "Do my p...
self.Anxiety
Depression napped my day away I hate this so fucking much. I have an assignment due at midnight and so much studying to do this week. I have to leave the house to pick up photos before the place closes. There's a tightness in my chest and I just want to stay in bed the rest of the day.
self.depression
Nothing I have been left behind I am an empty shell I have been beaten down To sand with no edges I have been forgotten I am nothing I have been freed I am nothing.
self.depression
Why does anxiety happen? Supposing we can't trace it to trauma, why does this happen? I can't seem to find a concrete event, an specific point of time in my history that marks a before and after for this. How does it happen that you start experiencing constant pain for what others find trivial?
self.Anxiety
I want to be the son of wealthy parents. I want to be privileged. I wish I came from money, from history, from heritage, from something special. I wish my family name meant something. I wish something were named after us. I wish my family owned property, old property, sentimental property. I wish my parents were la...
self.depression
My SO is addicted to narcotics I have been with my SO for 2 years. We have two children. He is addicted to opioids. Has been for the past year. I have a huge problem with this. He didn't have any for 1 night and ended up in the ER for the withdrawals. Swears and promises me he will never use them again. He has lied. He...
self.offmychest
Does anyone else have a reduced sense of touch when getting scared? Made the terrible mistake of trying to play a horror game. Got jumpscared immediately and now my sense of touch feels reduced. Is this common with anxiety? Now I'm freaking out that it's this serious, life-threatening syndrome or disease.
self.Anxiety
Having a 'crush'... is just that. Invincible... shattered into 40 googillion pieces internally... hope... prosperity... invincibility again, just more aware... implosion. There is little else worse than 'limerence', intense infatuation. Just when I dug out my old charismatic self from the pits to try and get to know ...
self.depression
I feel like I don't have 24 hours in a day A lot of time got wasted by either being made unable to concentrate, having no energy, or both. Not to mention the extra time needed to go to therapy, extra steps into making sure you don't get a breakdown, and so on. It sucks.
self.depression
Recently have started feeling suicidal Im a 17 year old high school boy and recently I have started feeling kind of suicidal. I've had depression for years now since my parents got divorced, and I never had thoughts of killing myself, only thoughts of not wanting to exist or be alive. However, that has changed in this ...
self.SuicideWatch
To the girl I’m gonna see tonight I’m really nervous about seeing you tonight. It turns out it’s gonna be a group date with your best friend who’s gonna be with your brother. So yep, it’s me and you and your best friend and your brother. Things will be awkward tonight. I actually just got off a nasty 6 month dating wit...
self.offmychest
Thought I could hold it off for a bit longer but fuck, I just can't stay normal. [deleted]
self.depression
Can someone with depression have some good days? hi. new to this sub and posting for the first time. i have chronic depression and anxiety. i am seeing a therapist, no medication. i wanted to know, if anyone has had good days? this past week has been mellow for me. (minimal crying, no self harm/ideation, feeling low...
self.depression
How many times have you been held in a psychiatric ward and do you enjoy it? Me, six or seven times now and I feel no shame anymore. In fact, I like it.
self.depression
Depression "Support" Simulator Role the dice and see what you get for support: #1: They pity you, leading to degrading actions towards you along with resources being consumed to "help" you which in turn effectively does nothing at all and just prolongs your life and leaves you hanging with guilt #2: They state a sub-...
self.depression
Anyone else can't ignore the similarities between therapists and prostitutes? [deleted]
self.depression
I can’t feel like this anymore I have been battling this for too long. I don’t eat or sleep or enjoy the few interactions I have daily. I have tried everything. Yes, I’ve been in therapy for a while now. Since I started having these thoughts. It’s not helping. I’m just afraid of the pain, will it be too excruciating? I...
self.SuicideWatch
A bit neurotic...what's new right? Need some help please...Hey everyone...long time lurker first time postr...I'm in a bit of a quandary and could do with some advice. I'm 33 and have had one relationship my entire life....i've been with girls here and there...but one proper relationship...problem that I have is that ...
self.offmychest
Can't find any reasons not to kms 1. Since childhood, I grew up with literally no friends. I had one that lived right next to me, but he moved out at an extremely early point in my life, which hurts me to this day. (His name was Jeremy ) Everyday, I'd go to school, and dread every single day. I'd have to awkwardly forc...
self.SuicideWatch
18yo female and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been suicidal before but turns out it was from the anxiety meds I was on, but now it’s back very suddenly and I need help. I got into a bad car crash today and feel like such a fuck up. It was all my fault and i had to call my parents to come get me. It took months for me ...
self.SuicideWatch
I don't want to live. I'm schizophrenic and autistic, I don't like anything, don't have friends, don't have family and had a failed suicide attempt a few years ago. Nothing good happened since then, there's nothing for me.
self.offmychest
Very upset with myself. TW: self-harm Oh no. Why do I do this to myself? Never in a million years would I ever treat someone with the pure hatred and abuse that I inflict on myself. My brain switched, and "bad me" took over temporarily. Now, I am left to deal with the consequences, and clean up the mess. And it...
self.bipolar
Head pressure out of nowhere Not in any pain. Was about to try and sleep when this feeling like there was pressure in my head and slightly in the back of my neck. Been awake going on 15ish hours now. Getting anxiety from it. Am I going to die
self.Anxiety
I'm not happy anymore I feel so empty.I have a few great friends,but i don't trust them anymore. They didn't do anything wrong or something like that.My best friend,who i know for more than 10 years,this year went to another country to work and live there.Its more than 12 hours bus ride from my town.It's too expensive ...
self.offmychest
Who do you hate lying to the most? For me it's my friends, especially those who are helping me through it. I know I am betraying them. I thought it would be my family, but I guess I'm just used to lying to them at this point.
self.SuicideWatch
Maybe writing about it will make things better. You are always told that certain seemingly arbitrary things will make your problems less so. And I tend to think that they don't help much. However I am out of options. I want to crawl out of my skin and into a hole and never be seen again, nor see anyone else. I woul...
self.depression
Suicidal Ideation I have not been officially diagnosed with anything as of yet. I just couldn't think of a better place to post. I've been dealing with some pretty strong suicidal thoughts and urges, and I don't really know what to do. I've been feeling pretty good and happy the past few days, but for weeks before then...
self.depression
I want to end my life right now I have a loving family, an average job and despite all of that I want to die. Even though I go regularly to a therapist, I still want to die. I cant stand the pain, I just want to end it. I am not worth, I do horrible things to everyone. I shouldnt have these feelings. Someone looking a...
self.SuicideWatch
Its impossible to get a good job? I think its impossible today to get a good job, even with good education. Of course many people ocmmit suicide if they have no perspectives. Is unemplyoment shiity jobs and poverty a good reason to kill yourself?
self.SuicideWatch
Can't stop thinking about suicide I just can't stop thinking about it. Everywhere I go I see ways to do it. I think I found an easy way to do it. I got kicked out of therapy and lost my psychiatist last week so I have no one to talk to about it. Sometimes the thoughts are stronger than others. Right now I feel like I'm...
self.bipolar
I finally freed myself from the last negative person in my life today, and it feels amazing This is long, but I have to get it off my chest and I hope that people in the same situation might find it helpful. TW: Mentions of suicide, self-harming, stalking, violence, gender dysphoria. For the longest time, and this me...
self.Anxiety
Anxiety is not being able to enjoy ANYTHING because you’re worried about that thing in 3 weeks that will actually be way less awful than you imagined.
self.Anxiety
Focus issues - distracted too easily I can't focus on any tasks and just recently received a promotion and I think it's become more noticeable. I take 2400 mg of Gabapentin and 50mg of Sertraline. I just can't focus at all. I switch back and forth between projects and never finish a task. Is there a medication anyone's...
self.bipolar
I’ve sort of discovered a comforting thought I’ve found a lost sense of comfort in knowing that vodka and Xanax are a relatively effective way to hurt myself irreparably. A lot of different parts of my brain know that suicide isn’t what I really want. But the warm sensation I’ve only felt in better times comes back whe...
self.depression
Anyone else tired of eating , like damn we’re just stuffing shit down our throats just to keep on living in this piece of shit. It’s pathetic [deleted]
self.depression
Pushing Personal Limits? TL;DR: Anyone else participated in activities in a controlled manner that challenged your physical symptoms of anxiety to show yourself all was well? I have GAD, and I was having trouble with both finding a medicine that helped me without negative side effects as well as actually communicating...
self.Anxiety
Failing exams. I am in my 5th year of college. I have only 2 classes left to graduate (after the ones I am currently taking this semester) and I'm somehow failing two that I'm currently taking. I'm studying all the time and in depth. I know the material.. I know it to the point of being able to explain it to someone el...
self.offmychest
I let out a belly laugh when I thought about the future. [deleted]
self.depression
Where I am right now...I guess I just want to talk. Since it is the holidays, I feel more alone than I am used to. This time last year, my grandfather died right before Christmas. It means less to me that my grandfather passed away but more so that it's my mother's father who passed away, and I mourn with and for her l...
self.depression
Parents sent my dog to the shelter when i was a child, tells me the truth years later So, they decided since the dog was ripping up plants in their back yard, they would then lie and say that the dog they got rid of, instead, had ran away. They left the side gate open to make it believable. Years later, they nonchalan...
self.offmychest
Has anyone else been obsessively editing their comments and replies? I've been doing this. At first I thought it was because I'm a grammar nazi, but now I think it was the anxiety. Anyone else been doing this? I'm still new to this, lol. Edit: I've removed an anxiety-inducing part.
self.Anxiety
Is This Depression? I decided to post because I don't know if this is depression or not. Awhile back, I had a episode that was likely situational depression. After the episode ended it was awhile before another one happened. The next two episodes were really close to each other and lasted only about two weeks each...
self.depression
Suicide Note: Im a fuck up. Im so sorry. Shooting heroin and meth? What is wrong with me? I just want to die. Honestly. I dont want to live anymore. Im done. Goodbye. Tomorrow you wont have to deal with me anymore.
self.SuicideWatch
Is anyone else scared to die? So I have pretty severe depression and anxiety (and my psychologist thought I might have high functioning BPD as well). I mostly feel very empty and numb, with the occasional moment of utter misery and awful anxiety. I rarely leave the house and get panic attacks when I do, and I stay in b...
self.depression
Medication (i.e. Lamictal) and relapsing I haven't been taking my medication for about 1.5 weeks. Is it possible to relapse during this short amount of time? I'm just curious and a little worried. I am going to pick up my meds today, but I'm a little curious.
self.bipolar
so this is it. I do not like the life I have, and I don’t know how to get the life I want. I’m a woman in my late 20’s, I don’t have a career just a dead end job, I barely make enough money to live, and that’s all. I am not important to anybody’s narrative and will not be missed when I do this. My life vision was not w...
self.SuicideWatch
Anyone else feels sadder because they can't help them parents financially,because of depression? Sometimes it makes me sadder ,knowing that I can't help them and I just sat and look helplessness
self.depression
Stress and loneliness School is overwhelming me. I don't know how I'll ever catch up or succeed in life, I've been having intrusive thoughts, such as when I'm in my car, that I could just keep driving until I hit a wall or something that could kill me. I'm so lonely. Life is empty
self.depression
I don't know what to do with this but I feel like imploding if I don't dump this all somewhere. [deleted]
self.offmychest
I want to be alone tonight With the new year starting tomorrow and me being introverted. I'm confused on what do to tonight. I feel very alone around the holidays and try to make an effort to be with people because if I don't then I start a pattern of self-deprecation and self-hate and thoughts of suicide start to cr...
self.depression
I Went to the grocery store! My anxiety and depression never used to be this bad, so it still feels mildly pathetic that this is a "proud" moment for me, but nevertheless, here we are! For the first time in about 2 years I went to the grocery store by myself! I add the "by myself" because I went a couple of times when ...
self.Anxiety
My younger brother has more friends than me. His wife is rude. [deleted]
self.offmychest