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Does “happiness” exist? I’ve recently been wondering what it means to “be happy.”
I currently feel better than I probably ever have in my life. I don’t necessarily hate myself, I don’t intend to harm myself, the eating disorder has gotten quieter, I’ve gotten better at dealing with change and disappointment, I don’t fantasize about killing myself...
I suppose all my life I’ve thought that you were either “depressed” or “happy,” but here I am, 28 years old, and I don’t really feel like either. I am happy sometimes. I mean, I have happy moments. I have an amazing girlfriend and family, and I love being with them. I really do feel happy when I’m with them. But if I’m not...I either feel depressed, or I feel numb.
Is this “normal”? I wonder about it, and I’m seriously thinking about doing a survey where I just ask the people close to me, “Are you happy?” and see what they say. Take note. I guess my response would be, “From time to time.”
I suppose this all boils down to: is this as good as it gets? Were my expectations for “happiness” just too high, and this is what “normal” people without depression/anxiety feel like?
And if so...what have I been working so hard for? Because if this is as good as it gets...I might want to reevaluate my life choices...
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self.depression
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I'm thinking of starting a bipolar meetup in my area so we have someone to talk to who understands our particular problems. I live in the deep south, so I'm pretty isolated. I know other BP people are too- that's one of the issues with this disease. I think it might be helpful to have a meeting once a week with other peple, sort of like AA but not religoius and not based on the steps, where we can meet and talk and ask for advice.
Is this dangerous? Is this a bad idea? Do you guys have any advice?
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self.bipolar
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I just want to vent for a bit. . . . [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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I want to give up everything, it hurts to even breathe [deleted]
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self.depression
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Fiancé suffers depression, need advice I am extremely worried about if I am doing enough, or if I’m doing too much. She is my whole world and I would do anything for her. But she suffers from depression. Things really go perfectly for long periods of time. We both have been married before, didn’t work out, but we are past that. There will be weeklong spells however, that she is absolutely out of it with fear. She gets to where she thinks I don’t love her, and that she isn’t good enough. It reached a breaking point for me the other day when she told me that she didn’t know if being with me was what she wanted anymore, because she is convinced she is holding me back. I just really need to know what to do. I mean of course I will support her, and not give up, I just need to know what to do. Thank you all
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self.depression
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DAE notice anxiety about one thing carrying over to other parts of your life? i'm currently stuck in a shitty job situation (signed a contract that basically requires me to pay my company $20k if i quit before my contract's up) so my job, needless to say, is making me hella anxious 24/7. on weekends/vacation, i feel pretty good about other aspects of my life, and then when i go back to work it's like my anxiety about my job spills over onto everything else. my anxiety about the guy i've been dating was so manageable over the weekend, and then today was the first day back at work after thanksgiving break and i'm a fucking wreck, freaking out because this guy hasn't texted me in a day or whatever.
i just wanna know that i'm not crazy, that my anxiety about my job is causing all this other off-the-chain anxiety... anyone else ever notice your anxiety about one specific thing making you more anxious all-around?
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self.Anxiety
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WTH is happening to me?? I have type 2. I'm compliant with my meds. I've had good control over my moods for a year now but things went to crap about a month ago.
Here's my new pattern. Two or three good days then a day where I start out sad, hopeless and depressed for a few hours, then I get frustrated, agitated and anxious for a few hours then back to sad and hopeless. The next morning I wake up feeling fine again for two to three days. Then a bad day comes, again
It's constant, 2-3 good days, 1 day of pure hell.
What is happening to me? This started on day 5 of a 5 day Tamiflu course. Tamiflu does have evidence of neuropsychiatric side effects in some people. Maybe it screwed me up? IDK.
I see my therapist Wednesday.
Any ideas? Advice?
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self.bipolar
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No it’s not ok if I wait until tomorrow for my check. Tomorrow is fucking Saturday. I don’t work on Saturday. It costs me 12 dollars in gas to get here and back. You’re supposed to have my check ready on Friday. I can’t afford the time or money just drive here to pick up a check. I need it now, I have bills that were due this week that I haven’t been able to pay until I got paid and I need my fucking check. I understand management is under a lot of stress, that everyone’s quitting and the CFO is being flaky at best. But you need to fucking take care of the people that are sticking by you and staying or I’m gonna quit too.
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self.offmychest
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I hate getting happy just to then remember I'll feel like crap soon so I shouldn't show off any emotions to anybody and hide in sadness. [deleted]
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self.depression
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Ever Had a SAD lamp set off an episode? Essentially just the title. I have read a bunch how SAD lamps can set off episodes in people diagnosed with bipolar, especially if used in the morning. Has anyone here ever actually experienced this?
I just got a lamp (largely because it was a good deal) and am going to try using it in the afternoon but that might be hard schedule wise so I'm wondering if anyone has experience with this situation. Or should I just stop worrying and give it a try?
Also, this thing is crazy bright, will my eyes get used to it over time?
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self.bipolar
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Am I the only one? I am currently 14 and have the biggest fear of losing my parents, my dad isn't that healthy but my mom has made an amazing accomplishment for her to live longer in her health. I have my brother to support me but whenever I think about it, I don't think I could stand not having anyone to be there for me, or to talk to me. I don't think I would know how to get through with my life knowing that the people that raised me and taught me what I needed to know in life are gone and would never be there again if I needed help with anything.
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self.offmychest
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If my depression and anxiety are making others suffer then am I the problem? I don’t like talking about these things to anybody so posting this is pretty much a last ditch effort.
I’ll keep it short... I’ve struggled with crippling depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. On top of that, I’ve never been good at pretty much anything, I’ve never shown any actual promise or a future, I’ve never been crazy good looking nor have a had any reason to believe so, school amplifies my anxiety and depression to an all time high and the list goes on. In general I’m one of the most useless people you’ll ever meet.
I’ve always noticed that my depression has cost my parents money, its cost the few girlfriends I’ve had time, including my current one, and nobody is ever truly happy around me unless I’m pretending to be okay.
I talk about my problems or I try and everything people tell me just sounds like I’m the problem. They’re probably right. My depression has made me complacent and scared of reality because I feel I have no place in it. ( one of God’s only mistakes) I’m wasting my parents, my girlfriend’s and everyone else’s time.
Typing this out I realize I don’t have a clear question but I just need to know, does anyone think my being alive is actually worth these people’s time.
I’m aware that this would be extremely selfish but I truly feel like no one understand what I’m trying to say and maybe just removing myself from the equation will hurt for awhile but in the long run people will be happy they don’t have to deal with me anymore.
I’m just weighing my options.. sorry if I sound whiny.
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self.depression
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My life is practically over... I've officially lost all hope. Two days ago, I got the worst beat-up of my life. I live in a very conservative and traditional Middle Eastern home, and my family thinks of me as a whore. My brother's friend claimed that he slept with me, and my brother didn't think twice before believing him. He went through my private chats and beat me with the intention of killing me. He then dragged me down a flight of stairs by my hair... I managed to escape, and am away from home for now.
I seriously don't know what to do, or where I'll go when my options of places to stay run out. My family is taking his side, and he's threatening to literally end my life. I'm tempted into going back home and letting him kill me, but I don't want to die that way. It seems to me that suicide is the only way out, really... There are just so many ways to do it, and not enough reasons not to.
The law won't be on my side, I don't want to live in a shelter, my family is against me, and I'm running out of time. My desire to die keeps on growing, and I can't think of any reasons to back down on it.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Just swallowed the rest of me bottle of antidepressants. Goodbye everyone. Hope my family forgives me.
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self.depression
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I just want to die, I'll probably sneak into my parents house and steal my dad's gun soon. It's what I want to do. Regardless of what everyone else wants [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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Self hate is sticking when I have work to do [deleted]
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self.depression
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What doesnt kill you.... Makes you wish it had.
Now every minor frustration, every normal and to be expected unpleasantness in life takes my brain to thoughts of suicide...how great it would be to not exist...how i have no future and life is a trap.
I feel like Ive seen thru the falsehood and meaninglessness of things...Cant picture myself being happy again ever...How do you become excited about anything when you seem to know for certain that everything is shit...? I cannot shake this conviction that nothing is worth it and Im just screwed...I have changed on fundamental level.
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self.bipolar
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Does everyone experience suicidal thoughts on the regular? Not just the people on this subreddit, but literally everyone **TL;DR** *I have thought about killing myself everyday for years. The reasons are pretty dumb though. I don't think much of it and feel like if I did kill myself it wouldn't be too big of a deal. I feel like it would be normal. Does everyone think like this?*
Ever since a young teen I've always wanted to kill myself. I thought nothing of it, and figured it was no big deal. I even told my parents, and they were heartbroken and I couldn't understand why. Back then, I definitely wanted to kill myself because things overwhelmed me too easily. Every time I stepped outside of my comfort zone I thought it was the end of the world, so I made sure to never do it and thus never achieved anything. I dropped out of piano and never tried to do anything after school.
Nowadays, I still think about killing myself on the regular, but for a different reason. I basically live outside of my comfort zone now, and only feel at peace when I'm at work or with my friends. So many things scare me in life, but I face them anyways. I've never told anyone besides my mom and dad I am suicidal, because I don't think I am I think I just have these thoughts because it feels normal to want to kill myself.
I have nothing to look forward to at the moment, but I know that will change and I am too stupid to reassure myself of that. I think, "It would be great if I killed myself," because then I wouldn't have to deal with things that make me uncomfortable. The people I live with, my tiny social circle, and my failing ambition is really what gets to me.
I care way too much of what people think of me. If someone even thinks remotely bad of me I take it incredibly personally, and I'm not sure why. My brother and cousin think I might be autistic, so I feel like the chemistry of my brain is just difficult to live with. I can't afford to see a specialist, however. I remember a few moments in my life that really got to me. One time the people I live with, my friend's parents because I didn't like living at home, had a talk with me about my habits and they are not approved. The talk was nothing more than if your dishes are dirty put them on the counter instead of in the sink, but months later I still can't shake the feeling that I disappointed them that badly. I remember when I made my dad incredibly angry one day because I took a shower before he wanted to and he had no hot water. He thought something was wrong with me for thinking that that was an ok idea. I remember when this girl I used to date broke up with me. I asked her why, and she didn't even know she said she just felt like she needed to. It's been months and I am still trying to figure out what I could have been like to make someone go from having me as one of their favorite people in the world to hating me. I think it was because I started to be myself around her more and that wasn't ok. Even today I called one of my friends because my car is in the shop and I have nothing to do so I was thinking maybe she could distract me, but it was clear she didn't want to talk to me and ended the conversation almost immediately. I couldn't help but think, "wow I'm that uninteresting."
These things are just normal every day experiences that everyone has. It kind of makes me mad that I'm forcing whoever is reading this to hear me talk about myself and wasting their time. I do not struggle with depression I feel like. I feel like if there's a situation that warrants enjoyment I will enjoy it and if there is one that does not I will try to make the most of it. Last night my tire got flat and I was pretty mad about that, which is probably understandable, but only for maybe 10 minutes or so. Instead of something terrible like having to spend $200 on a new tire, what gets to me is when someone just displays something that means they don't like me. Everyday I have some kind of suicidal thought, but I think nothing more of it. It's the same kind of thought as "wow this food I'm eating is good," or "i should probably shave today." Lately those have been my only thoughts. I haven't eaten in days because I can't stop thinking about how I want to die. I'm a little scared to though.
I have 2 cats and they are the most precious things in the world. My life revolves around these two and everything I do I wish I could do for them. I will not kill myself if it means anything to my cats. Because of this, I'm not looking for ways or advice on why I shouldn't do it, but instead I'm asking why do I feel like it all the time and do other people feel suicidal for seemingly no reason?
If it matters, I'm 19, work full time, and study computer science.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Birthdays My birthday was yesterday and I just couldn't get excited for it. Today the self harm thoughts very strong and are just to hard to resist and the depression is so strong.
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self.bipolar
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Tonight Tonight I plan on killing myself. The last 4 months have been hell. I've lost everything that I've worked for the past 2 years of my life. I had a place on the beach in Saint augustine Florida, a career that I loved, a girlfriend that I loved. And now everything I worked for is gone.
I quit my job because of a chemical burn on my face, my belongings were destroyed by hurricane Irma. My girlfriend and I had a falling out because of my depression and anxiety I didn't feel like I should put my weight on her and I regretfully ignored her. I then bought a plane ticket back to New York to try to fix myself, well that failed. I now am even more depressed and I have no motivation or ambition left to continue on and try everything again.
I have a bottle of xanax, a liquid bottle of butisol, and I'm about to go drink myself stupid before I pop them all and put a noose around my neck in my closest and wait until I black out.
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self.SuicideWatch
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If my life were a movie, it'd be a suspenseful dramatic movie. [deleted]
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self.depression
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please help is there not a way to renew? i am so depressed. food is bland, music is terrible. gaming feels like a chore. i do everything for female attention and i need a friend to talk to... please help
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self.offmychest
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I found out depression literally gives you brain damage I just read a study stating that depression shrinks the hippocampus which is responsible for learning and memory, the study implies that this damage can even persist after the depression is treated. I am experiencing this cognitive impairment first hand, at times i feel like depression has made me mentally handicapped. Will my brain be able to recover from this damage? If i beat depression will i regain my cognitive acuity?
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self.depression
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I'm tired of this Everyone's telling that I'm a pussy and they're right . I feel no motivation and I have exams this year and I'm pissed I don't wanna do anything. Everyday I wish that I'll die soon. I want to spread positivity but inside I am so deppressed and everyone hate me I'm sick. I am addicted to food . Everyday I think of suicide but I'm not brave enough. So I'm praying that I'll die soon. I'm sick of this world.
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self.depression
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Anxiety is destroying all my relationships I just wanted to rant honestly. My girl left me last night and I don't blame her at all. We didn't go out too much because I'm too scared of everything. I have to take pills before going out cus I know I'll get a panic attack when something merely troublesome or exciting happens. I spend my days staying in and googling syptoms, feeding my anxiety and insecurities. And this is not the first time it happened. I know I could probably benefit from proper therapy, but shit I'm scared of that too.
I wanna cry
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self.Anxiety
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My dad is not supportive at all, I just need to vent and get this out! I'm currently doing a masters, my dad never really liked the idea of me going to university. When I said to him that I was looking at going to uni for an undergrad degree, he said that "people like your brother should go to uni, those who are clever enough to go to uni", basically saying I'm not clever enough. Bearing in mind that my brother is 6 years older than me, he did his PhD and has got a good job, he's just got married and he's got 2 kids; him and my dad get on so well, they both home brew beer and they have so much to talk about.
Supposedly, when my mum told my dad that she was pregnant, he was really hoping for a girl, he always wanted a daughter. But now he's got one and he just doesn't care.
I lost my part time job about a month ago, through no fault of my own, the owners were selling. So I was hoping to get my job back but with them. Anyway, a load of crap has gone on with that and the pub is still not open properly. I saw my dad today, as it was his birthday, and my brother and his family were there, my sister in law asked me if I had given up on that place and I said that I had. Dad had obviously heard and he asked if I was still at uni, I said I was and he said "you need a job, you're wasting your time with uni".
I honestly thought I was doing pretty well to complete an undergrad and go onto do a masters whilst suffering from depression, he knows about the depression. But every time I see him, he criticises my decision to go to uni and makes me feel worthless.
I don't understand how a man who was so desperate to have a daughter, because he wanted to have a "daddy's little girl", how he can be so unsupportive and nasty.
I apologise for how long this is.
Tl;dr - I'm doing a masters and my dad is not supportive at all, he makes me feel worthless and not clever. I feel like I'm compared to my brother all the time.
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self.depression
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Anyone who has overcome suicidality created by the mind? What can I hold on to when the mind says "no" to life? Just a question, especially when there are several mind attacks. I always notice myself being confused after such attacks and ask myself if I truly am suicidal, I generally take the minds words for true, like compulsions. I have never dealt with suicidal thoughts before and they hit me out of the blue like 3 months ago. I got them all of the sudden though I was a fairly happy guy, not really depressed.
I was very terrfied by them, I didnt understand it but it felt like I was destined to suicide soon.
I just am confused what I can rely on when the mind says 'no'. These thoughts actually dont make sense at all but I cant stop analyzing what may have caused them to occur.
However, I never had specific plans and I know that I actually am not suicidal (or am I?), so for what reason does my mind spit those distressing thoughts at me? When someone is suicidal, is he/she also confused? I never said: Ok now it is time to die and I WANT to die.
It was always like I couldnt imagine living with those thoughts but when they werent there I was completely different, yet I have a stronger bound to the thoughts (because thoughts were normal to me), and I regularly have to check them...the worst thing is, I cant let go of them, I feel so uncertain when they're not there.
First I had this crippling fear of the thoughts, now this barrier somehow disappeared and I am lost.
I want to Do things, but when I start thinking about what Id like to do, like going out or
playing drums, my mind is like "no, whats the point? Suffer! Life is meaningless!".
I am so deeply saddened that I am so low, 4 months ago suicide was an absurd thing for me:(
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self.depression
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I wish I just died in that car accident. [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
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I was just diagnosed and I don’t know how to feel... sooo now what?
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self.bipolar
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What the f*ck? My ray of sunlight went back to his cheating ass ex who almost got him sent to juvie... We didn’t have a title or anything but we talked and acted like a couple. And he...? What the F U C K I’ve been crying all day and I wanna hit stuff and I can’t HEAR HIM we would face time all night and this silence is devastating. I was so hopeful. And so was he...
If I never have any hope I’ll never be hurt.
I’be been sobbing all day. I had such a comfort with him. Now I can’t hear him or see him... I’ve cried myself to dehydration and I’ve hardly eaten all day. This should t be hurting me that much. We had a thing going on for not even a month.... we weren’t even boyfriend and girlfriend. Why am I so killed over this.
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self.SuicideWatch
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The fact that my husband is deployed is not an invitation to flirt with me. I'm not going to fuck you because I'm a young, lonely wife whose husband is several seas away. I love and miss him too goddamn much for that. If that means cutting off friendships with certain people in my life because they decided to cross my boundaries, then so be it. I respect myself and my husband too much. Fuck you.
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self.offmychest
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My birthday is today and I'm trying to sleep it away until tomorrow. I've slept for 14 hours. I'm so annoyed it's still my birthday. [deleted]
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self.depression
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Has anyone looked into neurosurgery that treats depression? Heard of one treatment called Deep Brain Stimulation, but I've read that it's not FDA approved.
Any others??
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self.depression
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4am and I can't sleep again I wish I had a big hairy bearded man to cuddle me :( Being lonely and old sucks.
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self.depression
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I’m 14 and don’t go school and I’m always on drugs [deleted]
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self.depression
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3rd. since i actually have no one who takes me seriously or who even gives a fuck about me i’m venting out on reddit of how i’m planning to kill myself on the 3rd. honestly, nobody fucking cares. my fucking friend literally laughed it off when i told them i was feeling really suicidal. she did not even take me seriously. i’m done with these fucking overwhelming emotions. i can’t fucking wait till friday.
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self.SuicideWatch
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sick on christmas i just gotta vent a little because i've had a throat infection for a week and i'm taking antibiotics for it and i only missed 1 day of work because of it but last night i developed pink eye and so i had to call in sick to work today, christmas freaking eve (i work retail) and my coworker was pretty nice about it but i still feel bad because i know today was already gonna be crappy but now it's crappy with one less person to help. but what the hell can i do? go in and infect everybody? so now i've called in twice in two weeks and we don't get sick days so i'm not getting paid and i might even get in trouble or fired if i have to call in one more time. and now i gotta try to get to urgent care or somebody who can get me something for this pink eye so i can go back to work the day after christmas... and then worst of all i'm already missing out on family time. my sister is visiting from out of state and i'm probably barely gonna get to see her. i'm trying not to cry into my cereal, i gotta eat so i can take my antibiotic for my throat. i'm so tried, i've slept for shit every night for a week on top of working when i'm sick and then doing family stuff last night. i could barely do anything but i tried.
anyway i just had to vent a little. i wish for people's good health this christmas. you don't appreciate it until you're sick...
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self.offmychest
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Grappling with the realization that it gets worse with time...and nothing actually fixes it. [deleted]
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self.depression
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Diagnosis support- anyone felt illegitimatized by their awareness of their symptoms? I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost a year now, she’s thinking I need further diagnosis for bipolar, borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorder.
I slipped into a depression around the holidays and completely stopped seeing her. Things got bad and I have a session with her as well as some psychiatrists to finally get something solid figured out. Back to my title question, When I reflect on my behavior I can clearly see patterns and actions that are out of character for me. I can speak to her about things that happened and we discuss how it could maybe be an episode of mania or something. But I feel like being aware of my symptoms almost makes them illegitimate.
I’m not sure if it’s just this preconceived notion but I always felt like therapists or psychiatrists were supposed to listen to you and then hand down their words of wisdom or diagnosis and it would shed light on you and give you an ah-ha moment. Like up until that point you were supposed to be unaware of your disorder or behavior. I feel like it wouldn’t be authentic if I go in any describe all this behavior. I feel like they’d look at it as if I’m TRYING to be diagnosed with something, which I’m not.
Does that make sense to anyone? Would you mind sharing your story of diagnosis and if you were “aware” of your behavior before hand?
Thank you!!
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self.bipolar
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Been depressed for a while now and just got money problems too. When I was 15 I started being depressed, I dont have any fun in life and I am not loved by anyone, or so it seems. My father never talks to me and doesn't live with me and my mother, but when I am with him he doesn't even look at me when we talk. He is always to busy with different things.
We don't have allot of money at all and don't talk to a big part of our family since we have a fight with them. I haven't gotten any pocket money or money for clothes, just when It doesn't fit I get a new pair of pants for example.
I started driving lessons last year which my mother is actually funding for me, which I really appreciate nonetheless. She put the money on my bank account so whenever the driving school sends me a invoice to pay the first part of the lessons (400€) u could just send them the money from my bank account.
I had never ever had so much money on my bank so I was really stupid with it.... I bought a new pc game, little bit of weed (I life in the netherlands so it's not like I'm a junk or anything, I barely smoke anything but me and my friends wanted to smoked something and it took me away from all the shit), and then I also got scammed wanting to buy second hand shoes worth €100 which I tried getting my money back but I didnt. I was thinking the invoice was still gonna take months to get payed and nothing could go wrong.
Yesterday I got an email with the invoice and I shit my pants, I was literally crying.
How is a 17 year old student gonna get 200 euros in 2 weeks? If I tell my mother she would kill me. If I tell my dad he would kill me. I'm seriously thinking about ending it since I don't have any stress anymore then, my life is shit anyway and nobody really loves me. I'm doing it soon Im pretty sure.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Does anyone here wish they could just get up one day, pack your stuff, leave everything behind, and go? [deleted]
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self.depression
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Depressed about my future. Hello /r/depression,
The last few months have been rough. Today I feel like shit but I still have to go on because I don't have to worry only about myself, I have a few dependents. Here is a bit of a back story, it might be a wall of text but this is only because I honestly have no-one that I can talk to about this.
I'm terrified of being homeless; I have a job, my father has a job, my brother has a job but we recently found out that we have to find a new place to live due to unforeseen circumstances. I'm guessing we would have to move in the next 6 months. I'm overly worried and depressed about not being able to find a place. One of the bigger pains for me is that I would likely have to send my pet to the SPCA as a lot of places where I stay aren't pet friendly.
All these negative thoughts are now snowballing; from me thinking about how we might become homeless to me thinking about how there is no future for me, to me thinking about so much negative things. When I think about my future I don't see anything; everything I do feels pointless. To boot, I recently wanted to chance jobs but with the impending move, it seems like I might have to stick where I am now; working 55 hours are week, Saturdays included.
I'm so tired of struggling and feeling like this. I have been feeling like this for the last 5 years, and I honestly cannot remember the last time I feel good, happy or optimistic about my future. Everyday is a slog, the routine is killing me slowly. About 5 years ago I have a similar situation, unemployed, threat of being homeless. That overwhelming feeling of being washed away is there again and I don't know what to do.
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self.depression
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I’m fucking stuck and embarrassed and evicted My mom gambled away our rent money for the second month in a row, and now we’re getting evicted, so now there’s that on my record at 20-years-old. We’re moving back in with a family member we used to live with when the recession hit in 2006-2012, and that’s when my depression was the worst and I went through a psychosis.
My mom doesn’t have a car or else I’d go live with someone else, but she’s fucking dependent on me now to drive her 15+ miles to and from work now while I have to babysit for my cousin during the day and also work a 30-40+ hour job at night. Today’s my first day off in awhile and I have to pack everything before we get locked out, and I don’t have a day off until Wednesday.
I’m more than 5k in debt with maxed out credit cards because of my mom, so she’s just fucking drained me of everything.
I have a dog too, so I can’t just go anywhere.
I fucking just want to die so I can’t just not have to do this right now.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Dealing with email anxiety I have recently been doing ok with regards to my anxiety but today I'm having a really bad day due to anxiety surrounding emails.
There is an opportunity at my university that I'd really like to get involved in but my anxiety has been stopping me from sending the email I need to send for 2 days now. The deadline for this is quite tight and I'm determined to not let my anxiety stop me from putting myself forward, but I feel sick to my stomach and utterly panicked whenever I try to sit down and write the email. I'm so paranoid I'm going to come across rude or bad as I've never actually spoken to the person I'm contacting before, I was simply directed by a professor to get in contact with this person.
Does anyone have advice on how to get myself to send the email and stop panicking? I really want to give this opportunity a go and I don't want to let my anxiety stop me, but I feel so unbearably horrible whenever I try to do it I don't know what to do
Any help is greatly appreciated!
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self.Anxiety
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I'm having some strong anxiety issues in my relationship with my girlfriend and it's starting to hurt us. What can I do? [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
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Can I be bipolar and not fuck up my life if I refuse medication? [deleted]
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self.bipolar
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How people in your life check on you that doesn’t feel too intruding? [deleted]
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self.bipolar
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Needing help dealing with depersonalization Going to get straight to the point here, I’m having problems dealing with reality as a whole for hours on end for certain parts of the day. I’ve never really had a problem with it before but recently (last couple months) the feeling of me not being well me keeps invading my thoughts. This usually leads to me getting very anxious as I️ get scared that it will not end.
I’m wondering if anyone dealing with the same problem can help me. I’ve started meditating everyday and when I️ start getting the feeling I️ try and deep breathe and try to focus in the moment, but most of the time it doesn’t seem to work. If anyone has any advice for me I’d greatly appreciate it.
Edit: sorry haven’t updated my phone yet so the I️ on my iPhone is all messed up.
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self.Anxiety
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I just need someone to talk to... I dunno... maybe itll help me stop thinking about my ex and his gf and suicide. It's all just getting worse. I have no irl friends at all. I have anxiety cause by an auto-immune disease that is hard to deal with, especially alone. I just want someone to care about me. That I even exist....
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self.depression
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I don't feel suicidal, but I feel like it's coming I have constant thoughts of suicide and what not, but I never want to because I don't want to scar my family's thoughts with me, but it's getting to the point where it's nearly everything I think of.
I don't want to commit suicide but I feel like I might eventually, I want to prevent this but I don't.
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self.SuicideWatch
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I'm a Lazy piece of 💩 So, I'm wondering what the heck is wrong with me??? I've been doing nothing for years, literally nothing. I haven't had a job in about 4 years. I've quit college so many times. I would always go back to school, and think this time it'll be different, but that was a big nope. I'm 26 now no job and no education smh. My daily routine consists of waking up around 3 pm, and then go lay on the couch for hours either on my phone or watching tv. I haven't had friends since I quit school. I like to think I'm an ok person, but people just don't like me lol. I also dropped out of school when I was 13. I was supposedly going to do home school, but that didn't work out. I just can't seem to get my life on track. I've tried so many times to get it together, but I end up failing. I still have goals, and aspire to be someone in life, but my laziness is turning into a huge handicap. Some days are really tough for me; I'll end up crying about nothing, and being sad all day. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, just plain lazy. I see all these people my age that have everything setup in life, and that really gets to me, just like a kick in the gut. I don't think I would have problems adapting to society. The problem I have is lack of motivation. I have zero discipline. I don't know anyone like me. I really can't pinpoint what went wrong in life.
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self.depression
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What do you do when nothing works? What do you do when nothing works?
What do you do when everything that used to bring you joy makes you hate yourself?
How are you supposed to get better if you sabotage yourself at every turn?
How do you exude confidence when you don't know what it's like?
What do you do if you're in a painful situation, but it's even more painful to get out?
Why should you even get help if you don't heed advice?
How can you see that it can be better when you can't see anthing?
How am I supposed to control my life when I can't even control my mind?
Are people who resist treatment worth the time of psychological professionals?
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self.SuicideWatch
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I want to die. To sleep forever and not give a fuck about any of this.
I want to talk to someone, but I don't want to be near anyone. People always disappoint you. Especially the people who make themselves out to be friends, but ghost you after a few months. It's pointless anyway.
Every day is an endless, repeating slog of pointlessness. How anyone stands it is beyond me.
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self.depression
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Found out I have a team day at work next tuesday... i feel sick and on the verge of tears TL;DR - panicking about team day because I cried at the last one and don't like the woman that runs it. Don't know whether to call in sick.
We're all (~100) going to a separate venue from the office for 5 hours of Reflecting on the past year and sharing our successes. Then looking ahead to the coming year to focus on what’s important and identify ways we can work better together while staying true to our values.
The last team day in October was a horrible experience. They projected a photo of me on the big screen as part of a presentation (I hadn't been told beforehand), I cried in front of my boss and half my team, and then I didn't cope well with the evening social and got so drunk to compensate I threw up on my bedroom floor.
I hate everything about this. The fact that there's no real agenda so I can't plan. I'm in a team of 1 so I've no idea if I'll be on my own or not. I don't like 'enforced fun' and 'getting to know you games' which I'm 99% sure will be happening.
I also don't get on with the woman facilitating the team day next week. When I have told her I have been uncomfortable in previous sessions she's pressured me to keep going and brought up possible anxiety (she's an outside contractor, and not an appropriate person to bring up my mental health state), which led to me crying again.
I want to call in sick but I feel like the guilt will just make me an awful lot worse. I feel so pathetic that I'm getting this worked up but I don't know what to do. I really struggled to concentrate all afternoon when I knew this was coming and I still have another week to go.
Any advice please? Or just some support that I'm not the only one that freaks out at this.
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self.Anxiety
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I want time and focus for myself and mental health but my family won't leave me alone [deleted]
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self.depression
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Manic streaking This sounds funny but I thought the idea of clothes was silly during mania so I took them off and walked through the hospital naked. I was like “We’re a bunch of talking apes, why do we need these?” I also thought I was the chosen one like Jesus or something.
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self.bipolar
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My boss told me that I have no strengths I was in the room with my direct supervisor and HR discussing my performance issues. I asked him if I had any strengths and he had nothing to say. Even HR didn't interject. This is after I disclosed my mental illness. All my confidence is gone. I don't want to live anymore if I can't support myself.
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self.depression
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Not sure if I'm depressed, stressed or overreacting, so I want your opinions [deleted]
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self.depression
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I was “abused” as a kid and I want to kill myself but I have a son [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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So..I feel like beating my brothers ass Last Christmas my brother tells everyone in my family..and when I say everyone.. I'm referring to my mom and two sister's....that I had molested him..which fxkn makes me pissed .. I have never done such a disgusting thing to him or any other human being...but only thing I can come up with is rumor..a while back went around he raped some gay guy...and me being who I am...would have called him out on his bullshit...of praying on people ..so being the sick tweaker he is...conjures up this bullshit story day before Christmas so I wont dare show my face...well jokes on him.. I've told the family.. I'll glady pay for a polygraph examination....fxk him...JUST had to get that shot off my chest
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self.offmychest
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Marriage trouble- lots of suicidal ideations... just need a listening ear. Hello friends. I've been married a few years to a woman I love very much. We have a blended family of 6 kids. 4 are biologically mine, including a 3 year old and a 3 month old. I love them all very much. Anyway, long story short, I've battled major depression and anxiety most of my life and was hospitalized for self harming in April. Psych ward. When I got out, she was not very understanding and said she wanted to get her own place. To her credit, I've put her through some real trying times. Porn addiction, impulsive spending, dishonesty... I've failed a lot as a husband. But I thought we were working it out. Fast forward to the end if October. She finally moves out. My depression comes back full force. We still see each other a lot, but each time we part ways, it feels like I'm dying... I just want my family back together. It's been so bad the past few weeks that suicidal ideations have been popping into my head a lot. She seems so detached and cold towards me and in my selfish depressive mind I want people to hurt like im hurting. I don't think I'll ever do it if for no other reason than for my kids sakes, but it's all I can do to plod through life one day at a time right now, hoping against hope that I can repair the damage I've done. I feel like I'm in hell, my family is all I've lived for for so long. Any thoughts are appreciated...
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self.SuicideWatch
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What helped me a lot was time, a low profile and expressing myself here and reading other people’s stories, trying to help them. ♥️ It can be hard to find someone to talk to IRL. Believe me I tried. People either treated it as a joke or made me feel even worse by reacting like I’m some crazy person. My cries for help got ignored and when I reached out I lost friends. I’m one of those that seems to have everything. Happy, great life... but deep down something was bothering me even though nobody saw it. When I tried to reach out for help, those around me made it worse.
Then I found this place. I visited from time to time. Sometimes just spending hours at night in bed reading and thinking about people I never met.
It’s nice to be able to express or let out thoughts and not be judged. It feels good to see what others are going thru and to help them out of it. These things helped me a lot. Visiting here and interacting and reading helped. It helped a lot over time.
The small victories approach has helped me a lot, setting small goals and feeling good about them.
I hope you’re all better and hope you gain the courage to share and help yourselves in any way you can.
Thanks for listening and thanks for sharing. Even if someone doesn’t answer, there’s always someone reading and being there with you
You’re not alone, we’re all in this together ♥️
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self.depression
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Help with final wishes? Looking for a good way to commit suicide but looking for some specifics. I don't have a wife, children or family that rely upon me for financial support and no one will be hurt or even really notice if I was gone. I would prefer for it to be at least somewhat painless, in no way hurt someone else that may have people that need them and/or love them (no driving my car into oncoming traffic, etc...) and I want it to be 100% for sure. That is probably the most important factor. I have tried three times in my life and couldn't even get that right. If it can't be made to look accidental but matches the rest of the criteria, that would be acceptable. I unfortunately do not have access to or a way to purchase a gun or I would have already done so. A felony conviction for an act of stupidity (official misconduct) approximately two decades ago prevents me from obtaining a gun and I don't know of anyone that can obtain one for me outside of normal/legal channels. I wish I did..... My conviction wasn't for anything horrible that hurt anyone else and I am not going to make the last thing I do in this world change that. I am seriously asking. So, please no "suicide hotline" posts. If you want to post something derogatory or mean feel free to do so. I am past the point of that kind of thing bothering me. Just want to find a somewhat painless to hopefully painless way to end without hurting anyone that is a sure thing. If someone has some truly serious idea(s) that would fit all of this criteria, it would be greatly appreciated. If you don't want to send your answer publicly but think you may be able to help in this matter I am sure we can figure out a way to do this privately and I would be willing to pay for assistance. I will definitely pay to have someone do this for me (to me). Thanks.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Work and Anxiety OK. So I've had bad anxiety all my life, and find it difficult (painful) to change routines.
I worked a menial job full-time throughout my 20s. 6 years of that has overlapped with a PhD program in humanities at a mediocre university. I've done some publishing, conferencing, teaching, etc., that has helped me negotiate the anxiety. But I finally quit the menial job that I was balancing against all of that (midnight shift), and the anxiety is coming back. Lack of comfort zone, loss of routine, self-doubt.
How will I explain to employers that I have no meaningful experience outside of my teaching, tutoring, and academic stuff, which is all very specific? And should I even mention the full-time work? At 30, is it all lost?
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self.Anxiety
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Help from fallout from my best friend not wanting to date. How does she feel? Am I being used? A little about me first: I love playing and watching sports. I'm a Sophomore at Texas A&M, I'm pretty deep in my faith, I'm in a Christian fraternity.
My school has a camp (Impact) that welcomes incoming Freshmen to Texas A&M based on Christian principles. She (who is in a sorority) and I were counselors together for our small group. After camp in August, we grew a lot closer as friends. We started talking every day to the point where we were the first people we would go to whenever we were struggling with anything. I knew just about everything about her, and she knew the same about me. Some of the best times I have had during all of college were with her. We hung out with just us or one of her girl friends at least once or twice per week. I remember we went to this poetry thing, we sat down to get food before and after. After she told me she wanted me to go to all of her date parties, and I told her I felt the same way. She posted to her insta after one of them saying "this is my best friend". Then she started saying it in front of our camp, and our friends. I had never had a girl as encouraging as this one in my life, and I was proud to call her my best friend (didn't have feelings for her yet).
Then I started to feel like I was getting signs from her. She liked/commented on all of my insta posts. More and more of her friends started to follow me on social media. One time at a football game, she asked me what color my dad's truck was (mine was in the shop so i was borrowing his) and she said that if it was black then we couldn't date.
Then I caught feelings. I figured that if she was my best friend, I should go for it. The next week, we sat down and talked, and I told her that I'm interested in a relationship. She said she was busy next semester because of the number of classes she was taking, I said ok, and was fine with it, wasn't really too hurt. But then later I knew that was a bad excuse.
Communication was a little rough that next week, then she called me, saying that I shouldn't take her to my semi (i was already going to hers). We sat down and talked the next day again (beginning of Nov.). This is where I got hurt. She told my she didn't want to date me because she wasn't physically attracted to me (good reason) and that if we weren't going to date then we shouldn't go to all of each other's date parties together. I asked if she viewed my differently now and she said yes. I was crushed. Cried for 2 weeks straight, pretty much led me to evaluate my life (20 years old, no real gf, no real first kiss) and I felt worthless. She still told me that I was one of the most incredible guys she had met her entire life which meant something. After she made the effort to keep talking to me even though I had never been hurt by someone this much and I kept talking to her.
Then she kind of forced her girl friend group and my guy friend group together to the point where I could never really hang out with just her or her and her girl best friend anymore. That's what I miss the most. I feel like I'm being used when we hang out in this big group because she told me she wants to talk to more guys.
Then I got kidney stones and went to the Emergency Room the night before finals. She was the first person to call me and offered to spend the night with me in the er and bring my breakfast. She brought me breakfast (I stayed overnight) and sat down to talk with me, the first time we sat down one on one since our talk. But I've still felt terrible. Over Christmas break, I feel like one of my guy friends is making a move for her. This guy knew how much I hurt and told me he would be there for me, and kept asking me "how are you and her?" I still feel like she only wants to hang out in groups, and she always talks about her "future husband" whenever she is around me.
She and I still talk briefly almost every day (over snapchat usually). I am still extremely hurt, and have been for almost 2 months. Am I being used? How do you think she felt after our sit down talk? How do you think she feels now? Is she trying to make me jealous? I want things to go back to where they were before I caught feelings for her. Thanks in advance.
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self.offmychest
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Anybody ever experience this? - mild psychosis or just inopportune Facial Feature Extremes So here's something: I have BP1 always w/ dysphoric mania. I have never ever felt like I experienced "traditional" psychosis, thank the stars. I probably would've succumbed at this point if that was the case, in addition to the dysphoric bs. Anyway, something in my history has made me think that maybe I've experienced a mild form of psychosis at times. Whenever I've been feeling my absolute worst - like, waiting in the ER to get admitted - I've had the most odd experiences with the medical staff who come to speak with me. It is VERY distracting. They will come and do their usual assessment, asking questions and whatnot, and their face appears to have some extremely prominent feature - similar to a caricature. One doctor years ago had very large, protruding, and extremely googily eyes, for example. He was also an asshole. More recently, a doctor had hugely prominent teeth, like Jim Carrey the The Mask, only his teeth stuck out even more. It sounded like he could barely get his words out.
Now, I see and talk to folks who have facial oddities, but this is different - more extreme. I feel like I am the only one who notices too, because if my husband is with me he doesn't say jack. Ordinarily, he'd say "Did you see that guy's nose?? Woah!" to lighten the mood in a stressful situation, or something, but nope - nothing. The biggest issue with these things is they catch me off guard in my highly agitated state and are very distracting, especially when I am trying to get help.
Does anybody have any idea about this kind of thing? Experiences? Maybe mild psychosis?
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self.bipolar
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Just Keeps Getting Worse I’m pretty deep into my depression now, almost to the point where I’m questioning if I’ll ever see the light at the end of this. My girlfriend left me about two and a half months ago, she was the love of my life and I feel hopeless without her. I want her back like crazy, but she seems fine without me. Just before that happened, my business started to get slow. I had a cancer scare too, not that I told anyone about that. Since she’s left, things just seem to get worse and worse at work. I feel like my circle of friends have vanished and the few that haven’t are pretty sick of hearing me bitch about my ex. I ended up day drinking around 11 yesterday morning and didn’t stop until one of my friends forced me to get in an Uber and go home. And today, one of my closest friends told me that I’ve been hurting her for years because I come and go in her life and make her feel like she’s not good enough for me to stick around in her life and I had no idea she felt this way.
Every time I feel I’ve hit rock bottom, it just keeps coming.
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self.depression
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I hate my life and want to run away. I’m 35. My wife wants a baby. We are moving to a city that holds no real employment opportunities because she wants to be around her family and friends when we have our child. She wants to buy a house in this city, which has some of the highest housing costs in the province because of how beautiful it is there. The move is going to cost us almost $3000 and that doesn’t include living expenses for when we get there jobless. I’m afraid for our future, my own future, and everything in between.
She just sleeps saying “we’ll make it, all my friends have”. Well her friends own their own home because their parents gave them money for down payments when housing was affordable there. They all have good careers that pay well. We will have neither when we get there. I have a great paying job here, but doesn’t transfer at all down there so I have to start all over. During the crash in 08 and 09 I went bankrupt due to an injury and not being able to work, so I have no house currently to sell because I lost it then. She keeps saying “we’ll find a way”. I’m a realist and know that we never will when the minimum down payment needed as of Jan 1 when they change the mortgage laws will be around $60,000.
I love my wife, but she’s physically becoming unattractive to me and I’m finding myself wanting to stray as I have physically attractive women constantly giving me attention. I haven’t yet, but have recently come close. I didn’t do it because I am definitely in love with my wife and couldn’t see myself with anyone else ever. I don’t want to hurt her.
My brother is constantly jobless and always making excuses as to why he has no job, but is always asking to borrow money from my family. I haven’t given him a dime in years. He is an embarrassment to me and I hate him for it.
My mother is losing her mind, I think she is clinically paranoid but won’t get help. She lives in my city and is getting mad at me constantly because “I’m leaving her behind”. I feel trapped.
I hate my life. I want to run away and never look back.
I want to do so much with my life, learn more, do more, but I have zero motivation. I find myself constantly just flipping through Reddit and nothing else besides a few mobile games. I tried to start doing some free online courses that interest me. 5 mins in and I’m angry because I think it’s futile. Everything is futile. Life has no meaning or direction.
The planet is toast. Trump is a fucking moron and is destroying a country that isn’t mine and it’s depressing me. The Americans need to stop it but won’t. The rest of the world is just as fucked up. We’re all just waiting for our inevitable demise and It bothers me more than anything else in this world. I can’t do anything about it and it kills me.
I hate my life and I want to run away and never look back.
I have no interest in anything anymore really. I feel I’m interested and then 5mins later I have no interest. Back to reddit I go.
I want to be successful again and be able to give my wife the things she wants, to give my future child the things they deserve to have. I know it won’t happen and it makes me hate myself. I constantly feel that the only solutions to life are: Give up. Run Away. Win the lottery.
I want my family to leave me alone. They are toxic and depressing and embarrassing. I love them, but I fucking hate them and what they put on me.
This is all over the place but it doesn’t matter. I’m probably going to submit this and in 5 mins it will be automatically removed because of something stupid or get downvoted in to oblivion.
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self.depression
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I'm worried that I'll stop caring about anything. Hi everyone, this is my first post here. I've never spoken with anyone qualified to tell me if I am depressed or not, but have my suspicions.
For the last couple of years or so, my greatest fear has been that I will stop caring. That's because the list of things I do care about, the things that make me feel something, that make me happy when they go well and sad or angry when they go badly, is getting smaller. I used to care a lot about my grades, and it showed, but now I just can't bring myself to care about upcoming assignments when I think of the world at large. I also used to care more about sports, cars, trying new foods, seeking answers to difficult questions, and reaching moral conclusions - now, all of these topics seem spent to me, even though obviously I have only scratched the surface. The wonder is all gone, and I'm terrified that it means everything I ever find wonderful will, with time, become dull and fade into the background.
There are some things I couldn't really bear to stop caring about. For a while now, I've felt that suicide is not an option I can even entertain because of the effect it would have on my family - in short, I care about them too much to hurt them to that extent, but if that care faded, the situation would be much less clear and I'd have to consider things more clearly. I was pretty disheartened recently when I realised that the death of our dog, who has lived with me since I was a young child, hardly made me feel anything. The realisation that I wasn't sad made me feel sadder than the actual loss. It signified to me that perhaps no care is sacred and impervious.
The world just seems less significant, less important, less impressive, and less wonderful than it once did. I'm grateful for the things that still make me feel strong emotions, but I can't help but feel that it's fleeting, in a world where everyone just tricks themselves into feeling good enough to keep going (whether that trickery is intentional or not).
This turned into a ramble because I didn't really consider what my points were before writing, so thanks for stumbling through it.
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self.depression
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I thought that I was depressed, when in reality I just “woke up” As the title suggests I thought I was really depressed and not looking at the greener grass of things I guess, when I finally realized I’m just finally “waking up.”
I’ve come to realize that my mom is a skeptic/to a point unavailable as a parent/and a bit of a hoarder, my father is more concerned about money than himself and those around him, I’m a bit of a black sheep on both sides of my family, and there are a lot of open wounds festering in my family that have been ignored for way too long.
I don’t really have anyone to really vent to, but I needed to get this off my chest because it’s been crushing me.
I’ve tried so hard to busy myself in college so that I can focus on myself & my life and be happy, but these disappointments & the reality of it has seeped so insidiously that I’m having a hard time coping and don’t look forward going home. I’m just silently carrying this burden, holding onto this false hope that it’s going to get better. I’ve honestly tried to be positive so hard these past few months, and it hasn’t gotten me anywhere... I’m just swimming in a fish bowl :(
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self.offmychest
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Redditors suffering from depression, what is one service you'd pay for to use that doesn't already exist? [deleted]
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self.depression
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Is there a stage of depression where you low-key hope you don’t get better, because you hate yourself so much the idea of happiness is cancer
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self.depression
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I applied to a couple of jobs today. I've been unemployed since January. [deleted]
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self.bipolar
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I told my crush how I feel... Kind of I'm a 18 year old bi male who has a friend who I've pretty recently developed feelings for.
We met last year in my art class. For many months it was just us talking about things like video games, anime, TV shows, stuff like that.
After summer vacation, I'm assigned to a first hour class with him. It's largely stayed the same but something was different. Something that was so minuscule I don't even know what changed. Over the weeks, we slowly started talking more comfortably to each other and after a couple weeks I got his Twitter (big step for me, I can barely talk to people) and for a good week we simply talked about things we would normally talk about over DMs after school.
It's important to note at this point I started noticing I had butterflies developing. So, I very very gently started making moves. He's an extrovert and I'm introvert so I don't think the moves were obvious though. However, I'm not sure because he does seem to flirt with me a lot (he's bi too) but it was casual flirting, if that makes sense.
For the past couple weeks ive had the butterflies BAD. It's to the point where I wake up and literally one of the first things I think of is him. I couldn't hold back anymore so last night I decided to make a move.
After some casual talk about various stuff, I got the courage to say he means a whole lot more to me than he knows. He began asking "emotionally?" In which I reply "A little" (I couldn't get the courage to say how much) in which he seems to have taken it pretty well so far. We didn't talk about it much though after that short moment though. We went back to talking about casual stuff.
He didn't show up to school today which is why I have the time to write this. But I have no doubt when he comes back he's gonna use this as ammunition to embarass me, as he usually calls me things along the lines of adorable and it usually flusters me, but I do like it.
I say "kind of confessed" since I'm not entirely sure it was a secret. I don't think he's that dense to not have noticed it before last night. But idk, I'm both scared for tomorrow and hopeful when he comes back.
Oh boy here we go.
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self.depression
|
Everyone is living the life but me, in recent months. About 2 years ago, I moved from NY to SC my senior year of high school. I didn't get to graduate with my best friends, and I didn't even get to make friends at the new school, since no one in their senior year really wants to make new friends. It was incredibly hard, but I managed to graduate. I thought my life would get so much more exciting and fun in college.
I'm now 20, and in my second year of a very small women's college in the asscrack of the South, and I feel more alone and trapped than ever. All my friends do in our group chats is talk about how so many amazing opportunities and events keep happening to them and how much fun they're having while I'm having absolutely no fun at all. I'm doing average in my classes, and I live 35 miles from campus so I can't enjoy campus life even if I wanted to, and I heard it's not that exciting anyway as it is very small and single gendered. I tried to make friends in my classes, but no one really bothers trying to talk to me. I know life is a choice, and I could do things like go to college back closer to my old hometown, live on my campus and try to enjoy campus life more intimately, see a therapist... if it weren't for the cost. I feel completely stuck and every day I want to die more and more because none of my friends can relate to me at all.
Whenever I seem to vent about my feelings they all just feel sorry for me and can't provide any advice as their lives are literally perfect and I'm the only one who feels like I'm wasting my breath every minute. I'm terrified these feelings and thought are going to push me to do something to myself and I don't want to hurt my old friends and family but they're all becoming fed up with my constant complaining.
I know I probably sound like an ungrateful ass, but I just can't stomach the feeling that I'm wasting my youthful years being completely alone and there's nothing I can do about it. I've always overthought about my future but I never realized that I'm actually 20 and I'm living my life young life completely unhappily. My father was helpful at first, but I can tell he's becoming fed up with me whenever I bring it up. My mother and sister don't want to hear any of it. All my friends back home just tell me that they're sorry. I have nowhere else to turn but the internet unfortunately, but even then I don't expect life changing advice.
I can't cope with my new life, and I just want my old life back. I miss seeing all my aunts, uncles, and cousins on holidays, all the laughter me and my friends shared, my weekly visits to Manhattan where I could just take in the noise of the city and walk around like a fly on the wall without a care in the world. But that'll never happen again. I feel like a child who can't get a grip on her own life. I just want a way out.
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self.offmychest
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Trying to make it a Happy Christmas.
This year our Christmas will be tinged with sadness. My Dad died from lung and liver cancer aged 69 on 16th of November. He’d been unwell for a few months and we suspected it wouldn’t be good news. Within two weeks he’d been to his doctor who ordered an X-ray and blood test. He’d then been sent for a CAT Scan and then diagnosed with Advanced Lung Cancer that had spread to his liver. We were waiting for a specialist to confirm that it had also spread to his brain. Two days after having the worst news confirmed he died at home with my mother, his wife of 37 years, my brother and I by his side. He wasn’t in pain and he didn’t suffer. He gave himself permission to stop fighting. To relieve us of the burden he perceived himself to be or didn’t wish to become.
He’d been through it with his own mother and the memories where as difficult to deal with for him in his 60’s as they were when she died two weeks shy of his 15th birthday.
He’d nursed her and looked after her in ways a young boy shouldn’t. He didn’t want that for us.
He also wouldn’t want us dwelling on the fact he isn’t with us but knowing that doesn’t make any of this any easier. It’s the stupid traditions I know realised we had together that in missing, like him remembering just before the shops close on Christmas Eve that he really should by my mother something and making me go with him or him complaining about Christmas and it being a waste of money but then spending most of his days watching Christmas Movies.
I struggled to wrap my mother’s presents knowing there’s be nothing under the tree for my Dad but also knowing that weeks ago when he could still make it to the shops he’d gone out and bought her a necklace with her birthstone and had arranged for them to hold on to it until the week before Christmas with my contact info so I could collect it knowing he wouldn’t be able to. The most stubborn, miserable, argumentative man I have ever known but the guy who made our Christmas complete.
Tomorrow the three of us will have a quiet Christmas on our own each one going through the motions, putting a brave face on it so as not to spoil it for the other two. Oh well.
Merry Christmas all.
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self.offmychest
|
Today I freaked out in public. I was having a bad day already. I need to get out of the place I'm staying and the person doesn't really want me here. Anyways, I was down at the library and had checked out a neat documentary about Prohibition and another one about Svetlana Geier. I decided against checking out a Coleman Hawkins CD because I was/am having a shitty day and didn't feel a piece of shit like me deserved it.
I walked across the street eventually to Dutch Bros (a coffee shop). I took my plastic Dutch Bros. cup out of my bag, zipped it back up, and went in. There was a gaggle of teenage/preteen girls hanging out at a table in front of the counter. They were loud. As I approached the counter one of them got really loud and practically yelled in my ear. I almost dropped my cup but I turned right back around and walked out.
I walked to the sidewalk by the street and walked down the sidewalk some. I think I yelled and I got mad at myself for being an idiot. I think I cried a little bit. I went to the store and found out I don't have any EBT benefits for this month for some reason and I freaked out a little then. I went to Taco Bell and got some chicken soft tacos and a coffee then I took the bus "home".
I'm 40 years old this year and too old for this shit. I'm too old for this shit.
|
self.Anxiety
|
In a really dark place This is really hard to talk about. I have aspergers and worked at a vet clinic where I worked almost exclusively with cats for 4 years. I went to vet tech school and got my vet tech license. After that I applied to 3 cat clinics and was denied by all 3 because of no drivers license. I applied to the shelter nearby hoping I could fit in.
I work with dogs three times per week and cats two times per week. I am happy when I am with the cats and I actually excited and do not want to even eat lunch but working with dogs is tough and I clock watch the entire day.
All I can think about is working with cats and my whole day becomes a large panic attack and not feeling like I have a purpose. I have a psychological need to work with cats all the time. I once said that a life not working with cats is no life for me. When I was at my previous shelter there was no issue anf I was so happy I even worked on my days off.
I have my license now and it has been 4 months. I still feel the same and every day I work with dogs is another day I have a mental breakdown. I work, take 30 minutes inbetween visits to cry and go home to sleep and hope that the next day is either better or doesnt exist. It is not that I dislike dogs, it is a combination of missing cats and working with dogs. I do not want to feel like this but I cannot change who I am.
I am thinking that quitting is a good option even though they call me fried/buddy and are nice plus treat me well. This psychological attachment to cats may seem weird and I dont know how to phrase it so I do not burn bridges with the boss since I do want to volunteer with the cats afterwards. I also do not want to act like I led them on.
It seems wrong to leave and I am almost too scared to talk about this feeling with them. The boss is nice but also seems like she can go off if she gets mad. I thought since I live with a friend that I could ask to work part time with the cats, on the days I normally do which are the days that their main cat person is off. I have a website and several books I would work on about cats and wait until another cat rescue starts hiring since I have a license now. Actually not sure if they will since I applied once and if so I am screwed. I have started to make money in my website and hope too on my cat behavior books.
Thoughts? Tips?
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self.depression
|
Drama seems to follow me everywhere regardless of me trying to be positive [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
The Off-White Jordan 1 is ugly AF Sorry, just my opinion. If you think they look good then wear the fuck out of them. Who cares what anyone else thinks.
|
self.offmychest
|
Everyday is getting harder, my family is starting to notice it's not getting better. [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Can't see a doctor for a while so I'm stuck with low dosage fluoxetine pills Low-key can't find a single psychiatrist taking patients around here. I need to up my dosage or get a new medication, but until then I'm stuck with these :/
|
self.bipolar
|
Work anxiety and possibly depressed Hello. I’ve begun doing my clinical externship at a veterinary clinic. It’s actually been 6 weeks now, 9 more to go. I’m not ok.
I think I’m sinking into a complete depression. My relationship is not ok, I don’t want to be with my family, I’m not happy at my site, and I’m not doing my schoolwork.
Going to my site in the morning is a serious, serious battle. I can’t get up to go. At all. It’s worse because my hours really just feel like an open door. I push back my time to get out of bed and leave the house further and further.
My room is a mess. I leave my dishes, there’s clothes everywhere.
I don’t know how to find a doctor. I made a list but my anxiety is stopping me from calling. This hurts so bad.
I honestly can’t remember ever being like this, ever. It scares me and I can’t get myself out of it.
I don’t know what I can do to help myself. Everything is just so hard to do.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I have 14 days I have 14 days until my inevitable court date, I have a drug charge coming my way and I was just about to get into college but I can't even go because they're going to give me probation and public service. I'm going to make just enough money to pay off court fees and my fine but I'll have to quit my job because I'm a government worker so they'll have me physically removed once they background check me. I don't even want to break the news to my parents because they already see me as a fucking disappointment and every day I just get more and more depressed. I think about taking my life regularly and on my way home from work I almost purposely crashed so I'm on fucking edge already. I don't see any upsides anymore. I'm only 18 and my life is already ruined so at this point it's only a matter of time until I just scrounge around for a bunch of medication and just overdose in my bed so I can atleast give the illusion that i died peacefully before they find the cause of death.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Fuck mooddisorders I cycle between types of hypomanic and depressive moods every day. Pretty much every morning I find it hard to get out of bed. When i’m social with someone i like I’m generally in a good mood, but when feeling down I dread human contact.
I’ve been diagnosed with mild bipolar 2 and cyclothmaia by two different psychiatrists, but didn’t feel like any of them fit me until recently.
It’s so bad at the moment that I want to try something. I’ve been to therapy, but hated it. I am also scared af of medications as I’ve been overprescribed drugs and experienced a lot of bad side effects (fat gain and seemingly permanent sexual/erectile dysfunction.
|
self.bipolar
|
I feel so awful I started about 6 months ago, not much but since then ive been in a deep fall, it all started with losing interest doing things i liked to do, then i started feeling exhausted all day long and lacked motivation, now all i feel is emptiness and it feels so awful, its like draining me, some nights i just cant sleep, just thinking about how everybody around me will be happy and i will have to wear that emotional mask i wear everyday it scares me, i feel like im on the verge of a mental breakdown, i feel lonely, i hate myself, i cut myself, its so draining and confusing, my will of living is almost drained, thinking about this makes me sad and more depressed, i isolate myself from others, i would just prefer to be dead, i dont know what to do anymore.
|
self.depression
|
Diagnosed today I am 34 and was diagnosed as a younger person and tried to ignore it. After years of struggle I just couldn't do it anymore. Went and got a prescription to help me stay in routine and healthy. I have physical health issues as well. I was prescribed depakote. Anybody know anything about it or give me any heads up of how this is all gonna go down? I am kinda scared.
|
self.bipolar
|
Waiting to die from a rare disease I'm not really depressed naturally it's more of a forced State mind. I have a rare disease called porphyria and I'm learning to live with it just fine I accept it and I choose to make the best of it however my dad suggested I come live with him I really think it was just for my big disability back pay when I get it or he has a life insurance policy out on me I'm not sure which it is. However I was living in Florida and my friends you know made proper accommodations to their house for my porphyria AIP and PCT which is kind of like photosensitivity but much more severe it seems I'm allergic everything I explained to him before I came I am allergic UV light and the Sun that's what porphyria is. However it comes with a lot more stipulations I'm allergic to most chemicals of any kind talking from air fresheners two perfumes I can't use acetone nail polish remover I have to be very careful what I wash my clothes in shampoo and conditioner on my head I can't even care for my own hair anymore because I'm so sick I don't have the physical strength and again I accept this and I choose to smile and make the best of it. But I want to know does anyone else I have something that has no cure only treatment and your family won't read about it they're constantly blaming you there has to be a big fight just to go to the emergency room because I have an attack which I won't be asking to go to the emergency room again I will stay in my room and die because these attacks can be fatal most likely won't be though although I've had a couple close calls. But my dad has his girlfriend who hates me and knowing that I'm allergic to light they will not put up curtains she makes everything that she knows I can't have and it's just on offering it to me 5 times I believe my dad only had me move up here because he's waiting on my disability back pay or he has a life insurance policy out on me. Like tonight I puked my brains out because you turned on the propane heater which was throwing all the fumes upstairs and I can't even open a window it did put me in serious abdominal pain and physical body pain felt like my eyeballs are going to pop out of my head started having a panic attack I ripped off most of my clothes while I'm trying to hide under the blankets because I can't breathe and I have nowhere to go so I send a text can you please turn it off for a little while get me a fan for the window something while the pipes are frozen well if you call in your trash can like isn't that evidence enough I can't handle it my body does not want it. when I leave my room I wear gloves a mask and insulated jacket pants sneakers I'm covered from head to toe and I have my head flashlight but like I say this is more of a forced depression I live with it but they make me feel so bad about it it's not my fault I didn't ask for it I did not self-induce this I was born with it and it just chose to show itself later in life with symptoms through the years I went to the ER the other night to get a treatment I told the doctor I have the paperwork from the foundation with the ER guidelines on what to do I have my test results in my doctor's letter he said I'm not reading any of that you said I'm going to do some blood work nothing comes back you're leaving and my blood test came back negative porphyria he said no we know you have porphyria I said can I get thanks trust and he said no you'll have to go to your physician all I can say is my doctor doesn't have a hospital room with the dextrose drip that she can give me for 3 days he said I met a porphyria patient once and you don't give them dexrose I live in constant pain which I'm used to I'm alright with that I don't have to be in pain if they gave me treatment but it was an assistant physician and no doctor in the hospital other than him and he's not even a doctor I could have died thank God my attack was not severe. My pity party is over if you want to talk to me about anything you guys are going through I'm more than happy to listen keep your hope up keep your faith up I know my faith is all I've got to hold on 2.
|
self.depression
|
falling would a fall from the second floor of a building be lethal?
|
self.depression
|
I want to disassociate myself from my past mental disorder [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
Can't wait any longer for things to get better. The longer I stay at work, the darker my thoughts get. I've been working in a deli at a supermarket for about six months now. It just doesn't feel like a healthy place for a person who already has been diagnosed with depression. We don't get mean customers often, but when they do show up and scream at me, I take their comments out on my arm with a knife. And it's not just customers. Coworkers too seem to like taking their anger out on me, and I'm just not strong enough to take it. Then pile that onto the existential issues I already have working food service due to the fact that society as a whole likes to point and laugh at food service and retail workers.
I only started this job so that I could support myself while I try to establish myself as a writer. I don't expect to find success right away. I had to work a few months finding a preferred style, let alone write a novel. The issue is that I feel like I'm running out of time emotionally. Each day seems to take a chunk out of my strength and I feel as though if I don't 'make it' by a certain time, I'll fall to pieces and kill myself.
As this is my first job out of college, I look at my coworkers who have worked here for 10 years or more and I ask 'How can this be life?'. And if 9-5 really is 'life' for the majority of people, than what is the point of living it?
I've tried so many things to try and build myself up again after breakdowns. I have a counselor. I've tried a trick where you only care about one thing. The main point is...I just don't know how to keep renewing and sustaining hope. I'm going through all this suffering with no guarantee of a reward. Without something that helps me manage that stress and pain or feel there's reason or reward in that pain, I'm just feel like I'm gonna burnout.
How do I keep moving on when everything I try to make myself feel better fails? I just can't keep moving on when it feels like I'm not making any successes with keeping myself happy in the meantime.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
NYE and sadness my friends are piling up and going batshit over finding a place to spend NYE as a group, but ever since they've started scrambling for places, i've been thinking about not going and finding an excuse to give them, so i don't hurt their feelings. (i don't hate them, i can't stress how lucky i am that these people care for me so much)
thing is, i've been single for a long time now, and this thing has come back to bother and pester me whenever i see couples, or hear my roommate listening to shitty love related music, or when his gf comes over and they make out like horny teenagers.
they've been making plans for a while now, but just this week, my roomie's gf, and one of her roommates messaged me to ask me about this. the gf at first sent me a fuckwad of text, telling me that i shouldn't lock myself up in my home like a saddo, and wallow in my own sorrow instead of trying to be proactive and forget about all my woes. the other girl's told me that there isn't going to be just couples(one of the major reasons i'm not keen on going).
i know that staying home alone is just going to make this worse, because i don't really socialize at all, because i don't have any incentives to. but i'm also afraid that, even if i go and let myself drink again, even tough i stopped by myself), it will just be like the last times i went out with them: devoid of any fun, and me basically sitting around them saying nothing, whilst they all talk amongst themselves, only to be surprised when they turn around and see me standing there. or even worse, when someone is suddenly aware of my complete silence and then asking "why are you so quiet?"
this being single thing, i fucking hate it. it's eating at me, and maybe it's why i get so upset when any tinder match turns out to be a bust. maybe it's some sort of quiet desperation, altough i'm trying to contain it,, because i'd rather kill myself than tell someone straight up: i'm sad because tfw no gf. or even worse, be outed as the only single person in my group, which i kinda am. if that ever happens, i'm literally going to kill myself.
TL;DR - op is single for a long time, and this gets under his skin very often, making him sad
so has anyone got any idea or advice on what i should do about this naggig feeling ? not like, tips on instant gf or some shit, but rather something to stop this annoying feeling?
(also, not to be rude, but any of you thinking to say "you're eventually going to find someone, there's someone for everyone, one day you're going to meet your soulmate etc etc", thanks but that's not helpful at all)
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self.depression
|
23 M depressed, want to commit suicide. Would anyone read what I wrote there along with comments and give me an oppinion? https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/7q4bxy/whole_day_in_bed_crying_23m/?utm_source=reddit-android
|
self.depression
|
I'm googling about over-the-counter drugs that are harmless when overdosed. I think I need help. If I don't reply within the next day, that means I have attempted to, but failed, or successfully did it. I don't know. Life to me is meaningless anyway, especially with my fucking bad circumstances. I hate this shitty life.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I just don't really wanna exist anymore my life hasn't been really easy thus far and I don't have anyone I can really rant too so ill just turn to the anonymous internet,from day 1 it was tough I was broke and growing up I was abused I wasn't shown much affection growing up you see,so my sanctuary was like many others video games at school I was an outgoing guy with plenty of friends to joke around with but in the back of my head I had all these depressing thoughts going off sooner or later I started getting flashbacks to my childhood and my depressing thoughts,my self esteem that life whittled away at every opportunity it had i wasn't good at anything in particular my brothers were better than me athletically even at video games ironic considering i played them the most, and just overall worthlessness compelled me to attempt multiple times i nearly got caught or i stopped because i didn't even have the spine to do that which made me feel even more worthless all my relationships with the exception of 1 ended with me getting cheated on i aven't been in one for quite a while now but anyways the day to day life sucks i hate every moment of my life i haven't gotten so much as a damn pat on the back or heart emoji when it comes to affection my self esteem is still about as low as it has gotten before i literally stopped myself from crying because "i don't have the right to cry" was exactly what my thoughts were i feel like shit and i want everything to end but i don't have the damn spine I'm always having bad thoughts everytime i cross a street i mentally beg for a car to appear out of nowhere and hit me everytime i see a couple my brain wastes no time in reminding me that ill never be like that again because I'm too fucked up and disgusting for somone to even consider me as a partner i don't show my depression i talk pretty often even though a lot of times i get ignored when I'm talking in a group thus ive come to the conclusion that nobody cares anymore so why should i exist? all i do is contribute to my fathers money problem go to school probably annoy the hell out of other people go home and sulk till my body decides its time for me to sleep i know its unhealthy to place a lot if not all my value based off how much I'm cared about but what else is there? i have no redeeming qualities nobody loves me and i think-know nobody ever will i cant say i blame them but it makes my existence ten times more miserable i want to just not exist or my life change for the better the second isn't very likely and i don't have the guts for the first so now I'm just stuck in a ruthless cycle of constantly hating myself and dragging myself through mud
|
self.depression
|
DAE just get a complete and utter mental block sometimes For example I know I need to think about something important but when I try to think nothing happens or I might be able to think about it for a minute or so and then just completely lose my train of thought.
|
self.depression
|
First my father commits suicide, now 3 months later my girlfriend lefts me out of the blue - thank you year 2017! [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
With a kid on the way, I feel like I'm stuck My depression has been up and down over the past 2 years. I've hit my lowest lows, but bounced back towards the highest highs. Recently it seems like I'm slowly going back down, and there's no incline in sight. If everything keeps going the way it is, I'll be farther down than I've ever been. When I was at my lowest, I was pretty ready to take my life. I felt almost a sensation of peace over myself knowing that soon enough I'll never have to feel this way again. I ended up not going through with it, and I talked myself away from those feelings for a good while, and I was feeling good.
Now I have a kid on the way, almost halfway to the due date, and I'm going back down in the rut. It makes me feel like a complete piece of shit, but knowing that I can't just end it anymore is making it harder to deal with. In the past I've always had suicide as a plan if all else failed, and it made me feel a bit better knowing, if anything, it could all end. But with a kid on the way, I don't dare even think about it. I wouldn't want to have her resent me, or feel guilty in anyway, and now I can't seem to get over this feeling.
On top of it all, my wife knows of my depression, but overall it feels like it's just a burden to her. I don't even want to talk to her about it anymore because it makes me feel like I'm just complaining and loathing in my own self pity. I'm just stuck where I am, and I hate it more than anything.
As is, I don't have insurance, or really any money, so I can't seek out medical help. The only other people who I know that have depression is my mom and a friend. But my friend just makes jokes about it, and I have too high of anxiety to talk to my mom about it.
I guess this wasn't really going anywhere, but I needed to get it off of my chest, so thanks.
|
self.depression
|
I would love some advice or input on this topic [deleted]
|
self.Anxiety
|
Had mental break-down in a public place. Not sure if I should ask for help or if I'm only exaggerating Hello reddit,
For the longest time I was observing various subreddits, but I didn‘t had the guts to create my own post. It‘s my first time writing here, also it‘s my first time writing my problems to other readers, not only myself. English is a secondary language for me. Sorry if there will be some mistakes (there will be for sure) or if my sentences has a wierd structure. Hopefully someone will understand me.
I don‘t know if I‘m depressed or if I have an axiety or some other issues. I can‘t go to psychologist/psychiatrist for now, because I‘m a student without a steady job. Also, I don‘t really know if I should go and ask for help. Maybe my problems aren‘t real problems at all.
Yesterday I had something like mental break down in front of big number of people. It started so unexpected. From an early morning, the same second I woke up, I felt like something switched in me. Usually I‘m really friendly, happy and optimistic person, that is always in a good mood and likes to cheer up other people. This morning I woke up annoyed and unhappy, like all joy of the world dissapeared in front of my eyes. My instinct said, that I need medicine (I use easy nerves-calming pills every day and night, just that I could live with myself), sadly, I didn‘t had any. I tried to calm myself down looking at my reflection in the mirror. „Everything is fine. You are fine. Just try to survive this day.“ As I whispered these sentences over and over again, for a second I thought, that I will survive. It‘s only 5 hours, and I‘ll be back at home, in my safe place. As I already mentioned, I wasn‘t fine. I had to go to the doctor, but before that I was triggered by a talk with my mother in a car. She didn‘t say anything bad. My mind did. So I flew out of the car without „goodbye“, went to the hospital and tried to calm myself once again. I tried going to the bathroom, but after one minute of locking myself in, someone would try to open bathrooms door. I couldn‘t find peaceful place in a full of people hospital... All that time I tried to talk to my bf and he couldn‘t really help me. He suggested some rational thoughts, but I was in emotionaly unstable place and rational thinking triggered me even more. I walked back and forth crying my eyes out for 2 hours straight. Only after I found silent place and eventualy calmed myself. My cheecks were completely red, like irritated, because of crying, my face was swolen and I didn‘t had energy at all. It was my first time of having such a strong mental break down in such a bussy place. I had couple of similar situations at home, only they ended with me not being able to talk physicaly for about 10 hours, but, the positive side is that I could be alone, in silence and try to slowly rebuild myself.
It‘s hard to describe my feelings, but I‘ll try. It feels like my brain changes. I feel lost, distant from the world, issolated, even if there are caring people around me, scared, extreemly emotional.. I feel sadness, similar to grieving, like I would be grieving of lost life. At these moments I feel like no one understands me, even if I try to explain. And my mind is always talking with me. I don‘t hear my inside voice, but I feel it all the time. Voice says I‘m wothless, I‘m nothing, I will never reach my goals, I‘m a burdain to others, no one can or should love me, that everything is my fault and so much more. Sometimes the voice isn‘t talking, but expressing everything with waves of emotions. I can‘t stop this. All the sentences are coming and going all at once again and again, like glitching mix of couple of recordings (it‘s really hard to explain).
I don‘t have suicidal thoughts. I don‘t want to do anything bad to myself, as I was thought that it is egoistic to leave loved people like this (I doubt that it‘s the best description for suicide, but it is engraved in my brain when I think about it). But I do think that I‘m tired of life. I don‘t want to die, but if everything would dissapear without any couse it would be easier.
I had a rough childhood with a lot of comparing myself to other family members, envy, thoughts, that no body loves me or remembers me, that I‘m not important to anyone. I had to live throug mother having cancer, firstly having toxic friends, then not having friends in school at all, a couple of really toxic and destructive relationships, little brothers fight with cancer, really hard studies (when you‘re sleeping for 4 hours max a day, for about 2 weeks)... Not so long ago my beloved dog died and she was replaced with another one so soon... That broke me. And when I thought that the worst had happened, in summer camp with my university classmates, one girl started to actively talk behind my back, she tried to humiliate me in front of really important people in my profession. After I tried to talk with her, I couldn‘t take the pressure and I ran into the unknown forest at night, when the wind and rain were really hard and I just walked for 3 hours. I came back to the camp completely wet and feeling like a different person. It felt like rain soaked into my soul. That‘s when everything got extreemly bad. After last summer I was on those calming pills almost every day.
I read a lot of books about self love, how to control my emotions, think more positive and it works for some time, but after - everything gets wors. It seems like my mind is always attacing me and that it turns on the same movie over and over again: all my mistakes, bad things in my life.. sometimes I even have severe paranoia, that I can‘t sleep without bright lights that lights up every corner of my room. I never feel safe..
I am writing all my thoughts every day and when I read my diary it seems, that I‘m stuck in one long nightmare that I created myself.
Maybe you have some suggestions how I can overcome these issues? Maybe you have something similar? I would appretiate every comment..
P.S Sorry for the long post. Also, I didn‘t know what subreddit was best for this kind of stuff. Hope I‘m in a right place.
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self.depression
|
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