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Went on one of my rare outings tonight to see The Last Jedi that I went to with a couple of friends who I occasionally see. That is one of my rare social outings. I am in my 40's and have social anxiety among other things. Never been in a relationship. I don't go out of the house much except for my work and running my needed errands. Prefer being at home but also wish I had the desire to go out and enjoy myself. I mostly live a lonely unfulfilling existence. Hate New Years, hate birthdays. Hate anything that makes me realize time is moving forward and I am not.
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self.depression
|
Describing depression. Name a concept that best describes depression/describe manic depression in your own words?
 
I usually refer people to the movie "Old Boy" where he's locked in a room for years and years for no reason at all. At 3 months he begins to lose it, and he's banging on the door to his cell screaming for someone to let him out- at first, to me, it seems like bad acting: because his screaming at the top of his lungs is probably lower than your average talking volume. But slowly I started to realize he's been screaming for so long the sound has drowned out.
 
I think the entire scene/concept perfectly describes the endless fucking torment that is being unrealistically sad/delusional for no apparent reason- and for a long period of time.
 
[If you want to see this part, this scene is at the very start of the movie, its on Netflix. Don't watch the dubbed version.]
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self.bipolar
|
do Suicidal thoughts go away? Do suicidal thoughts ever really go away? I've been stable for about ~8 months now but I still think about death. Not to the extent that I would even think of acting it out, but if someone decided to murder me / run me over with a car I wouldn't mind. Is that normal?
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self.bipolar
|
This new found anxiety has become an awful alarm clock. Currently in the middle of a separation/divorce with my wife of 7 years. We have two kids and both stay with her with the exception of weekends and hanging out twice a week in the evenings. So for the most part I’m often alone. She left sometime in the middle of September and these “wake ups” started almost immediately.
No matter what time I fall asleep at the 4 or 5 hour mark I jolt awake to my heart pounding. I can feel it in my neck and it’ll even have my upper stomach bouncing. It beats so hard and fast and will remains like that till mid morning while I’m at work.
The remaining hours in bed I just toss and turn and slowly fall back asleep a few times only to wake up to it again.
Here’s the thing, when I wake up it’s like movie reels start spinning of all the negatives I have going on right now. Failed marriage, finances, selling a house, not seeing kids as often, the list goes on. And they just keep rolling through in my mind.
I spoke to my therapist about it (started going since the separation) and she recommended getting on some sort of anti-anxiety medication (until my life slows down). What could I expect to be put on? I do not want any anti-depressants. And am currently taking Vyvanse 50mg.
TL;DR Waking up every night with heart pounding.
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self.Anxiety
|
Depressed at college So I just started my second semester of college, and I feel horrible. For context, I'm an 18 year old girl and I go to a small liberal arts school that's about 3 1/2 hours away from my home. I've struggled with anxiety (especially separation anxiety) and depression for as long as I can remember, and I currently take Zoloft.
I thought that this college was my dream school, but now I'm not so sure. Last semester I enjoyed my classes, got all As, and kept busy with my campus job, but everything felt kind of hollow. I felt like I was just going through the motions and pretending to be content. Last semester I called my dad nearly every day; my separation anxiety never really abated. I've only just started the spring semester and I feel just as bad, maybe even worse. I was dreading going back to school all throughout winter break and when my dad dropped me off yesterday I couldn't stop crying for about 2 hours. I don't have the energy to do anything but sit in my dorm room and watch Netflix, go on reddit, etc.
I spoke to a therapist at my school's counseling center this morning and I've made a follow-up appointment for next week. After talking to someone I felt a little better, but that didn't last very long. I have friends here and we get along well, but I still feel distant like I don't have any "true" friends. I keep counting down the days until spring break because I just really want to go home and be near my family (I'm really close with my dad).
I don't really know what to do. I know I have to get through this semester but during the last few weeks I've been questioning whether or not I should transfer to a different school closer to home, even though my current school has really strong programs in my prospective majors. Sorry if I'm rambling; I'm just at a loss as to what to do and how to feel better.
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self.depression
|
Numb is the new freaking out. Anybody experienced this? Basically you freaked out so much in your life that you grew numb. People would think you are nonchalantly calm and you usually are upon friends freaking out and even calming them down but in fact you would not even raise an eyebrow if you see something shocking -- like an accident across the street. That when life continues to turn upside down you only poker face back at it.
I think this is what depression is about. When you can't get anxious you get depressed. And vice versa.
Edit: I need to further elaborate. Numb isn't the same as calm. Numb is when suddenly shit happens and you don't even know what to feel or do because feeling anxious is just too much and ridiculous to everyone.
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self.Anxiety
|
“She parked her car on the shoulder of the freeway, keys in the ignition... [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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It's not that I want to die; I want the world to disappear. I'm wondering if anyone feels like me. I am depressed all the time, but I am pretty much ok when I am alone in my house with just my dog. The second I get a text or a phone call or I have to go to work, i get more and more sad and anxious and the thoughts of killing myself increase. I fantasize more about moving to an island or another country where no one knows me than I do about killing myself, but I definitely think about killing myself at times too. Anyone have these feelings?
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self.SuicideWatch
|
What i've learn today about anxiety In terms of evolution, our response to things that cause fear or dangerous is the body producting hormones and molecules that made us feel apreenside, with fear, with some chest tightness
,strange abdominal sensation and high urinary frequency (It's funny that when i was a child I used to play the HIDE game and i always wanted to go to the bathroom when i was hidding myself). This responses are for things like height or some animal's attack. But sometimes this response in production of molecules and hormones can be desregulated, what cause Anxiety. Anxiety is a abnormal and excessive response of the defense mechanism of the body against things that usually didn't inicialize this response.
Anxiety can cursate with some symthoms and signals like: headache, palpitations, sweating and tremors.
DSM-5 caracterize various conditions responsable to cause anxiety, like for exemplo:
GAD - Generalized anxiety desorders: it's caused by excessive worry about everyday things, like money, family, relationships and work. This type of anxiety has 3 major caracterists: UNREASONABLE, PERSISTEND, EXCESSIVE.
Panic disorders: constant panic attack and avoiding behavior
Social anxiety: fear and avoiding of social situation
Agoraphobia: fear of being unable to scape (I remember feel it when i watch saw I for the first time in my life, when i was a kid. I remember feel like I will sleep and when i just had wake up, i was in a room alone forever)
- Specificphobia: most commom type. It's when something causes exarcebate fear in the person.
DSM-5 moved two more disorders to a specific group. But it is anxiety disorders:
- TOC and post-traumatic stress.
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self.Anxiety
|
DAE get suicidal/ depressed in the evenings? Think it may be my Seroquel wearing off. Every evening I get into this super depressed, angry, suicidal mess and I have no idea why. I'm well medicated during the day and able to function (ish) but evenings I'm a mess. Anyone experience this?
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self.bipolar
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People who have had ECT, what was your experience like? [deleted]
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self.bipolar
|
I'm so tired of begging people to be nice to me Maybe it is my fault. Maybe I'm just the worst.
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self.depression
|
You’re just making yourself sad? People ask why do you think about all those horrible things? You’re just making yourself sad?
If I do not think about my pain it’s still with me. It feels like this loud banging in my mind. It feels like a high pitched screeching trying to get me to pay attention to it. It starts ripping me apart and causing me to burst at the seems, until I feel like I’m going to explode.
But if I think about the pain and accept it, it becomes a gentle throbbing. A soft manageable pain. A familiar pain. So I sit alone, writing my sad words, listening to my sad music under my blanket of pain.
For example, it’s like I’m in a bath, and silence is all around me. The water is black and it’s slowly seeping into my skin. Being alone in this situation is more desirable than others being around to see me this vulnerable. Because if others were around they’d rip me naked out of the bath and drag me onto the cold tiles, just to find I don’t fit anywhere else. Then they’d leave, and I’d crawl back to my black bath, and sink back under the water.
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self.depression
|
I am... sad. You've left me. You casually talk about stuff he gave you. You talk as if nothing in your life changed.
We were together for almost a decade. You did fuck all to improve yourself until you left me the first time.
I built a career out of nothing. Out of hopelessness and desperation. And you just sat there, playing games. Literally everything you own came from me.
But you always had a fucking escape room in the form of your family. After everything, you speak as if nothing happened.
You replaced me with someone so similar to me, i want to kill myself.
And i'm the one who fucked it up?
I'm the one who cant get a date. I'm the fat nerdy bastard who everyone looks down upon.
I'm the one with the shitty hobbies that dont involve other people. Not you. You are a girl who shared exactly the same shitty hobbies as i did.
But you are not the one who has problems finding a date.
Because you are a girl. Because nerdy girls are interesting. But i'm creepy. My intereste are creepy. Except they are exactly the fucking same!
You get to move on without changing jack shit about yourself while i'm supposed to change everything about who the fuck i am just to not be lonely anymore?
I tried making friends. Guess who's alone this christmas and new years? Well, you dont have to. Its not you.
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self.offmychest
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Have anyone changed careers and gotten better? I am really down at the moment and a big part of it is due it my job. I don't believe I have a major depression but might have situational depression due to my work. Has anyone changed jobs/careers and seen a big change in their mood?
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self.depression
|
What a difference It’s amazing the difference in my life in just 2 and a half years. 2.5 years ago I was horribly depressed and refusing to do anything about it. I had been
feeling that way for probably close to 7 or 8 years. I had honestly forgotten what it felt like to be “happy”. I was drinking almost daily just to deal with the pain and not realizing how much I was hurting myself. I would drive to work everyday thinking of just letting go of the wheel on a major highway in hopes my death would look like an accident.
Luckily, I had a girlfriend (now fiancé) who refused to give up on me. She knew something was wrong without me even telling her. I had treated her like garbage for much longer than I am proud of, in fact I am embarrassed by how I treated her. But somehow she saw through it all and stuck around. She basically forced to get help and I could not be more thankful. Now, thanks to therapy and medication I feel like I am back to my “normal” self. Not drinking very much at all and am genuinely happy for the first time and a long time.
Sorry for rambling, Not really sure where I’m going with this other than to say if someone cares enough to try to get you help, let them. You will be glad you did.
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self.depression
|
an interesting thought that could be of help to you all I'm a part of this comunity for about a year now, i made this account just for this subbredit. I want to say thank you to all of you first, this community has it's hands in my ongoing recovery.
I go to a psychiatrist and a psychologist for quite some time now, besides that i'm trying out things to try to find myself. The thing i'm in battle with for the last couple of months is starting to take responsibility and have faith in myself. The only difference between not succeeding and succeeding is how you cope with failure, if you always think in your head and imagining negative outcomes that's what you are picking, if you build positive thinking and believe in yourself and keep trying, things will work out.
Today was the first time i put those thoughts into words when i was at my psychologist. I don't understand completely how to do it but if you are certain that you are a failure you are a failure, if you believe you can do what you want, even thought bad thoughts apper too, you really can.
I'm constantly going back and forth between smoking pot and making myself believe everything is ok, doing things i feel comfortable doing and short spurs of energy where i do things like study, work, go out etc which are really draining psychologically, i feel fatigued and give up. Comfort zone is dangerous, if you feel comfortable it doesn't mean it's good for you, the magic happens outside of the comfort zone. I stopped smoking again, hanging out with toxic people, i'll switch my bad habits with new, good ones like reading books, going to museums and art galeries, studying, hanging out with people i really do care for and the other way around. Comfortable doesn't mean good and uncomfortable doesn't mean bad. I've been going back and forth a couple of times, today was again a hard day, the whole day i felt sick to my stomach (except when i was working out and riding my bike) and was afraid something terrible will happen but i did lots of useful things and it makes me feel like i did something.
Hope the post is understandable and helpful to anyone, i wish you luck in your struggles, keep on going!
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self.Anxiety
|
if you're lonely.. F/17/AUS
I'm very active online and have insomnia, so timezones probably aren't an issue. I am very loyal and caring, with lots of love to give, especially to those who can show that they want it :)
I have depression too, I'm very miserable and lonely, occasionally suicidal. Yet I am optimistic at heart, so feel free to PM me if you think a chat with me is what you need to feel a little better...
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self.depression
|
Haven't taken my pills for two days I've been on antidepressants pretty regularly since I was 21. I'm 29. I was originally on 10mg of Lexapro and last year we increased it to 20mg. I forgot to refill my prescription on time and when I went to the pharmacy today there was a mixup with the doctor's office and now I have to wait until tomorrow. I almost cried leaving the pharmacy because I know how bad I need my medicine. I tried to do things to make myself feel better, like buying healthy food and eating a nutritious dinner. But now I just feel so sad and I'm looking for support so I don't drink an entire bottle of wine. I know this is probably boring to read, but writing this is better than doing bad things--like calling an ex or self harm. I also feel the need to apologize to anyone who reads this: I'm sorry.
---
**tl;dr**: Haven't taken my medicine and now I'm really sad and feel alone. Don't want to make a bad decision.
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self.depression
|
Please just tell me Im doing a good job Im really sad. I always feel like no one likes me and I dont know why, many say they do like me but Im not even sure anymore. For the past month and a half I havent found enjoyment in anything, I want to feel happy again. Id be okay with this if I werent so below average in absolutely everything I do. I have no achievements and I have nothing I can say Im proud of, all I do now is mope and stare at my ceiling, I sometimes think Id be better off dead for my parents sake. I try my best, I really do, Im trying to get good grades and Im going to a gym almoat daily but no matter what I do it always fails. Im a failure. I have absolutely no talent but Im trying my best.
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self.depression
|
I don’t know what to do I’m a 19 year old dude. I’ve never posted here or reached out or anything to strangers but I don’t really know where else to turn. My depression has gone off the rails at this point. I haven’t had a steady stream of good days in as long as I can remember. Today I got dumped. Yesterday I learned my uncle has terminal cancer. Piled on with the uncontrollable shit I’ve felt I’m just at the point where I’m done. I cut for the first time in like a year tonight. I want to die and I just don’t know where else to turn. I’m sorry if this isn’t where this belongs or whatever. I just needed to get this shit off my chest and I dont know what to do.
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self.SuicideWatch
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how to cope with suicide of a loved one as someone who is suicidal? Hi, this is my first post on here, so sorry if I do this wrong or anything.
I'm 16 years old, and have actively contemplated suicide since I was 12. It continuously feels like it's getting better, then worse, in this gross cycle that I don't even know how to describe. Recently it feels like I'm drowning. Whenever it was so bad it felt like I was carrying around a yoke on my head, I saw a post on snapchat from someone from home that said "Pray for the ***** family." This last name was the same one as mine. As someone who lives in a dorm a few hours from home, I immediately thought something could be wrong with my parents. I texted them, but my parents and immediate family were both okay. I didn't think anything of it, brushing it off and telling myself it was some other family with my common last name, until I went onto Facebook and saw obituary upon obituary for my cousin. This hit me hard. He went to school a half hour from my house, was a soulful, kind boy who was a mere 3 weeks younger than me. We went to church together sometimes, and he was one of the most genuine people I could name. I couldn't find what happened anywhere, and I knew he hadn't been sick. I assumed something tragic had happened, like maybe a car accident, etc. My heart felt heavy, but I couldn't place why. The next time my parents came to visit, they told me that he had committed suicide. This was two months ago. I think of him every day. I witnessed first hand the grieving process of suicide in my family, and I can't help but think, what if that was me? What if that was my parents who were stuck in a depressive spiral after their 16-year-old, seemingly perfect kid committed suicide in their own backyard? What if it was my death that turned my whole community upside down? I can't come to grips with the situation. The day that he ended his life was the same day that I was contemplating ending mine. He ended his in the exact same way I was thinking about mine, probably 20 minutes away. His family is my family. I need help here. It's pushing me closer to the edge.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I've been fighting depression for 21 years and need help to finally get out of it. Hello everybody,
I'm a 28 years old man, who has been fighting different degrees and intensities of depression ever since I was 7 years old or old enough to realise how unfair and how perverted, this world really is.
I've fought through countless years of bullying, I survived multiple cases of sexual and physical abuse, I kept moving forward despite repeated school failures, I have not kissed a girl in 16 years and despite all that, I still want to keep moving forward but I sense depression is coming back my way... I feel like a boxer, who's been fighting wars for 20 years and is completly rusted by all those fights.
Because I made terrible decisions in life, I have been in debt all my adult life and had to work like a mad man for years, just to keep the head out of the water and my body can still handle it, I am fine, physically, it's psychologically, that I'm weakening and I'm looking for help before I cross my limits and crumble.
Last time I had a vacation was in 2012, it was 5 years ago. I am tired of working so hard and still, I have to work more and more to keep moving forward. All that for what? So I can live someone else's dream and make rich people even more richer. It is completly unfair how the world works today. The media will never say it out loud but it is a form of slavery, that 99% of the world population has to work for the 1% that has 50% of the world wealth and ressources. And in too many cases, they do not even deserve it. There are very bad people and people like us, who fought through so much adversity, who had it so tough, deserve it far more! I am 28 years old and the most money I ever had was $4200 and I had to give almost all of it to repay debts.
For a time, I dreamed of becoming a philanthropist, a billionaire and helping to build a better world, with all my wealth and my contacts but I realised the world doesn't work that way anymore and because I am far too honest, I could probably not make it to the higher spheres of the world. I would need to become corrupted and I refuse to hurt other human beings to furfill my own interests. And even if let's say I could, I would never have as much power as the POTUS and even he, cannot change that much things.
To build a perfect world, we would need, no division and human nature itself, leads to division, because one's utopia is someone else's dystopia. Genetic engineering could fix the problem but we would lose our humanity and is that what we really want? I am not so sure.
So I write about all this and I realise that I find no purpose in my life. I kept moving forward, despite all I suffered, because deep down, in my naivety, I thought I could be like those video games heroes and be a hero to the world but it is not possible anymore. Was it ever possible? No single man ever changed the face of Humanity and even if I had the power, wouldn't it be incredibly selfish of me to try to impose my view of Mankind on others? In that regards, I would not be better than that maniac in North Korea, a dictator.
People often tell me, when they get to know me in real life, that I am the kindest person they ever met and even if I have great values and I really want the best for the world and my human brothers and sisters, not everyone think like me, it is a mathematical impossibility. Even if I wanted to make good to all people, it would mean bad, for a lot of people, that don't think like me.
So here I am, 28, at a crossroads, having to decide what I will do with the rest of my life, before I hit 30, I've got to find out while I still have some youth in me, if I want to have time to reach my full potential but I've been doing this exercice for 10 years, ever since I graduated from high school and I still don't know.
For a while, I wanted to be a mangaka, then a musician, then I wanted to become a businessman, a video game programmer and now a philanthropist but for what purpose if my actions will mean nothing, if I cannot change a thing?
I have zero interest in material things, why become rich if I don't want houses, I don't even drive cars. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't go to bars, I need very little money to live.
I guess I could do it for others but even if I did, the actions of those that will come after me will probably erase what I worked all my life for. Let's not meddle with Politics, it is not the purpose of my thread but to illustrate what I meant by ''the actions of those that will come after me will probably erase what I worked all my life for'', think of Trump coming after Obama and undoing all he did. It is a perfect example of what I mean. Then, if you think even farther in time, at some point, the Sun will die and all life will dissepear from Earth. Why do anything if all will be erased someday?
I realise this is incredibly depressing and I do not want to depress others even more by saying this but I get this feeling, more and more, that we make ourselves believe false things, like it meant something when it all means so little and the world is more empty than we would like to believe. I believe scientists even said reality doesn't even exist as someone's reality is different than someone else's.
We are born, from our parents, for various reasons. Be it love or any other reason, really. Then we go to school, so we learn how to live in society and live our lives to the fullest and live our dreams. It would be perfect, if this was the case. Sadly, there's a catch. It is so we can live our lives the better we can and work hard so the elite can live their dreams. There is so much inequalities in this world, it is sickening.
The human specie could go so far, farther than the most distant stars, if we all pushed in the same direction, instead of always being divided all the time with gender/politics/religions/everything. I am a living example of living and letting other live and what do I get for this? I get called a ''nice guy'' and called names for stupid, empty reasons. Maybe I am an intellectual and maybe in ancient Greece, I would be a philosoph, a great Sage but in this time and place, you get laughed at and thrown rocks for thinking different than the mass.
I get mocked every time I mention beers, video games and the sex industry, were made to keep us, a little more enslaved to Society. Society does not want what is best for you, it wants what is best for itself and the one that rule it, the 1%.
We beheaded the kings and waved good-bye to monarchy with the French Revolution but History repeats itself and we are still slaves, that we want to accept it or not. It is more subtle, less in your face, than 500 years ago.
What hope is there for this world, that value money more than human specie advancement? Companies like Apple and Samsung, slow down technological advances, on purpose, so they can release a new phone every year, instead of just one, every 2-3 years, that change everything for the years to come. All for the sake of money. Money, money, money, money, money, money, money. It all goes down to money now. Just look at what Floyd Mayweather Jr. is doing with his money or what Holywood is doing with it's money and you'll see the hard truth that the world is how it is, because our ''stars'' are purposely allowing it.
If all of Hollywood gave 50% of it's wealth, to fix all the world problems, there would be no more poverty in Africa. If all of the wealthiest 1% gave 50% of it's wealth? No more poverty anywhere and free school/health system for all. What do they do instead? They buy castles, buy $50 000 wine bottles like Johnny Depp, buy million dollars cars like Floyd, it is depressing to think about it.
Back to the title of this thread, I have been depressed for a while and I want to get out of it. To finish this long essay lol, I suppose the best thing to do would be to enunciate all my personal problems and cross fingers that anyone can bring any idea to fix them. I tried on my own, for years, with various degrees of success. Bear with me, it is almost over.
1. Finding my purpose in life.
2. Finding my future career.
3. Finding ressources to help me get my life back on track.
4. Repay all debts, finally. I would need a plan and ressources to help me craft such a plan.
5. I might have Asperger's and/or ADHD, I need a diagnosis.
6. I always catch colds, 4-5 times every time during winter. It has become a problem for I feel like Hell, for 4-5 weeks every year during winter. I live in a nordic country and life is already hard enough with the weather, I need to do something about these chronic colds.
7. I am way too nice. I need to learn to become more extroverted and learn how to stand more for myself. People make me do the worst jobs at work and I accept every time as if it was normal that I always do the worst jobs. Why am I so nice? I am getting abused and this have to stop.
8. I need to get better at public speaking and expressing myself. I have a terribly nasal voice and I talk very low. People make me repeat myself all the time. It must not be impossible to fix this.
9. Learn how to enjoy Life once again. I am not satisfied with what I accomplish in a daily day and when I do things during the day then settle for leisure activities during the night, I feel like I'm wasting time and cannot feel happiness anymore. People will make me laugh and I get frustrated all the time but I don't feel genuine happiness anymore. All this suffering in my existence has made me like this. I seem to have lost the ability to express my emotions, as if I built a wall between me and them, so I can survive all I went through. I became aseptized.
10. Learn how to love women again. For various reasons, I seem to have lost the ability to attach emotionally to women. I think this has to do with Pornography. Nowadays, all I think about is sex, sex, sex. Though I never had sex and haven't kissed a single girl in 16 years. I would much rather save the world then have relationships with women, raising childs in our overpopulated world but then, there's a 100% probability I cannot save the world so I am pretty much in a deadend. Therefore, I am writing this thread. I apologize if my ideas are hard to follow, I am not at my best, mentally, right now but I am doing my best.
11. Learn the arts of negociation and persuasion. I am tired of being on the losing end of such social situations. I always lose and when I do win, I feel like a bandit or I hurt others. I think I was hurt too much in the past and now I cannot hurt others or I feel bad. This got to change otherwise I will never reach my full potential.
For 22 years, teachers, friends, people, all said I was brilliant. They said I was different from others, that I was, so talented and I could contribute so much, to Society. Nothing would make me more happy than doing this but I need help to reach my full potential and get out of this depression. Help me help others, so that we can make the world better, even if that might be trivial and useless in the end.
Thank you very much in advance and Merry Christmas! :)
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self.depression
|
the loneliness is messing up my mental health im on year 3 on living by myself with no social life and no real family and its just too empty
I've ruined my life so much
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self.depression
|
I think I was raped on halloween night while extremely manic (trigger warning: rape) [deleted]
|
self.bipolar
|
I'm giving myself one more year. December 2, 2018. If, by then, my life does not improve in any way, and if I continue to struggle like it's the only thing that matters in life, if I don't get a better job and if I continue with these insane cycle of constant sadness and self-pity, I'm ending my life. I've exhausted all of my resources. If life is all about struggling, all about worrying if you'll have a roof over your head 10 years from now, all about worrying that you'll be able to support yourself, all about making sure enjoying fleeting moments of happiness that will be completely forgotten by long periods of intense sadness, then life is not worth living. I think my parents were very irresponsible to put me in this world, so I'll ask for a refund on life. One year. I hope it comes sooner than I think.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I Am So Afraid Of Getting A Job Again, But I Need To Get Back On Track. I had extremely horrible working experience as IT Technician.
Had 2 jobs, both I quit within a week because I was unable to handle the stress, the yelling, the anxiety. I cried every night and unable to sleep.
Decided to stop finding job and start a business.
4 years passed, my online business is failing and barely enough to pay my bill. I need a job, desperately.
Now I'm 25, zero work experience.
I'm not sure how do I get back on track. I'm still in fear getting a job.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I've never felt so alone After being hospitalized I had to quit my marijuana habit. It caused a drug-induced mania. I feel hopeless every day. I worry about if my husband died I would be completely alone. I can't stop thinking about it.
I have two friends. One is super busy with school so I never see her and the other has a full life and I see her once a week.
I spend my days completely alone. I can't find the drive to do anything. I spend most of the time trying to come up with a painless way to commit suicide, but if I do it it will destroy my husband. His brother died from it.
I am 45 years old. Making friends is almost impossible. I am just not sure what else to do.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Anxiety is killing me, i used to be outgoing now i wont go out. Hi, I'm new here but iv'e started having panic attacks and never had them before, been diagnosed with GAD years ago and used to take tablets for depression and anxiety but stopped as they don't even work but i get loads of side effects, anyway i tapered myself off of nearly every antidepressant you could think of and thought i was ok again but now i will get these awful panic attacks, i actually had to go to hospital and ive just had bloods done and a 24 hour ECG as i thought something was seriously wrong with me, i get aching arms and jaw with chest pain and people are like "oh it's just anxiety" oh great thanks is it JUST anxiety ? i'll just continue to sit on the floor and feel like im dying then sorry to bother you with my pathetic anxiety(intense, violent sarcasm). Anyway i'm sorry for the rant, i just wondered if anybody could help me deal with this, since that first panic attack i now have the worst health anxiety and convinced myself that my heart is failing. I used to not give a f(&^% about anything, now i overthink everything and most things give me anxiety haha i'm quite mad.
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self.Anxiety
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Tonight (NYE) Im gonna be alone in a cold flat. I have nothing to eat, I don’t feel like I can make myself anything and tomorrow I have school. Day one starting to be amazingly depressing. This has be to a new low. Can’t even pretend to be happy anymore.
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self.depression
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Help me find a reason to live pls (19/M) My english is bad so i will try to keep this short. 6 months ago i got a laser eye surgery that fked up my eyes permanently. I got extremely depressed and lost all my friends. Had to quit my MMA gym after 4 years. I became suicidal and the only one who noticed was my grandma. She came to visit me a few times a week even at her old age because she was worried about me. She died at a car accident two months ago probably because of me. And now my two dogs, my two children, the only thing i care about in this world were diagnosed with cancer. After they are gone i will be left with nothing. Why keep going after that? What the hell did i do to deserve all of this?
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self.SuicideWatch
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If you had to be stuck in a state of either hypomania or stability for the rest of your life, what state would you choose and why? I'd have to choose hypomania. Sounds like a messy life, but my asperger's syndrome just disappears while hypomania. And I feel like it's more crippling to be stable with Aspergers than hypomania without Aspergers.
What would you choose?
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self.bipolar
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I can't commit suicide. What next? I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. I finally went 18 months with no suicide attempts and hospitalizations. I thought I was in the clear.
I wasn't. It's back, and the long absence of hopelessness and despair almost makes its return that much worse. Like I remember what it's like to be okay because only a month ago, I was functioning and feeling content. Not happy. But people like us won't ever be happy. So I shoot for content. Now, being awake is torture. I'm hunting down benzos and percs. Smoking and drinking every day as much as I can while still trying to function.
I can't kill myself. I know that now. It would destroy too much. I used to try and tell myself, no one would care, but that's simply not true. What else can I do to numb this? I genuinely do not know what else I can possibly do without drugs. My psychologist isn't too much help during a crisis (he admitted that to me), my family is still grieving the loss of a beloved grandmother, my friends don't get it. I'm retreating from people, wishing for death. And I don't know what to do. What will rid me of consciousness without killing me? Please help.
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self.depression
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Sleeping is very weird for me and I'm not sure if I'm the only one or not? I have been diagnosed with depression and panic disorder for a few months now. Does anyone else struggle with borderline attacks (just major heart racing, heavy breathing, and extreme sadness or stress, sometimes not knowing where it comes from----but not to the extent of a full on panic attack) whenever they wake up, or interrupting any sort of sleep (naps or just normal sleeping) that keeps them from doing anything, like just getting up?
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self.Anxiety
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Health problems caused by anxiety Newcomer here and newly diagnosed. Have found out my tachycardia is related to my anxiety . My resting bpm can be more than 150 during bouts of serious anxiety . Anybody else with the same issue ? Don’t really know much about it .
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self.Anxiety
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Doctor Shake-Up Blues It's been a while since I've been in this sub because I've felt pretty stable on the meds I'm on for almost a year now. Out of sight, out of mind, etc.
I've been going to this place that's about an hour away from where I live every month to get my prescription for methylphenidate; because it's a Sched II drug, I have to physical pick up my prescription and take it to my local pharmacy for refill or wait for it to come in the mail (which is always late and missing dosages really screws me up).
This place has been pretty shitty the entire time I've been going there. They've changed my appointment times without confirming, not called me for over a week when my prescription was ready or if I needed to schedule an appt in order to get my refills processed--all of this has led to me running out of scripts which has been hellish. I'm on Lexapro, Seroquel, and methylphenidate so when I run out of methylphenidate, I can't take Seroquel because I won't be able to wake up or function the next day. Without Seroquel, I can't sleep and get panic attacks. It's a whole thing.
Anyway, the reason I don't go somewhere in the city I live in is because there *are no psychiatrists in my insurance network* closer than the place I'm going now. I've just spent a couple weeks trying to find a GP that will allow me to just transfer my care to them so they can continue my current scripts and I won't run out or have to drive an hour both ways once a month for refills. They can't see me right away because they need me to also see a psych in conjunction to their care. Okay.. I'll just stay on with the other place that's an hour away and have like 6-month follow-ups with them, right? Wrong. New doc needs a "letter of diagnosis"--old doc can't give me that until I make a follow-up with them. The next availability is Jan. 8th.
UGH IT SHOULDN'T BE THIS DIFFICULT. SERIOUSLY. I've been feeling pretty stressed out. When I was looking for GPs near me to transfer care to, I was grilled by a receptionist about my use of methylphenidate. Been referred to a counselor I used to go to as a psychiatrist which she is not. Yesterday had to drive an hour both ways to pick up a prescription because my old doctor's office is closed for over a WEEK for Christmas. Wtfff, you're supposed to be healthcare professionals, not a flower shop.
Anyway, I'll shut up. Just frustrated and stressed out and the yo-yoing of running out of meds, calling doctors, having mood swings, bad sleep, and holiday depression is just wearing heavy on me.
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self.bipolar
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Alcohol + antidepressants? So I’ve been taking antidepressants for like two months now and I’m starting to feel better. Last night I started drinking and I started off with beer but then I remembered that you shouldn’t drink while you’re on antidepressants...
What would happen if you drink a lot and you’re on them?
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self.depression
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Girlfriend problems have me stressed out to the point it affects my sleep and bathroom needs... After over 2 years together my girlfriend and I took a break. It was mutual, and it was mostly her that pushed me away due to how stressed she was and she’s horrible at communicating her problems. She’s from England, I’m from Ireland, resulting in me leaving my jobs, flat and the love of my life.
We didn’t talk for a week, then I broke the silence and we started talking again and we both missed each other and wanted to make things work. But because she acknowledges she messed up she’s coming to me next week. So all good right?
Well just before Christmas, are conversations were good, positive, full of memories, and hope for the future as we both want things to continue, because we were the perfect couple. I sent her a parcel because I wasn’t gonna have her get nothing from me, especially with us on the mend, so with a few bits and pieces inside, nothing over the top. But during Christmas she didn’t acknowledge the parcel. She was very dry with her conversation, but it’s Christmas she’s busy.
26th she didn’t speak, 27th I spoke to her at 5pm asking how she was and asked if she liked the parcel. She said she was busy and she thanked me. I wanted to Skype her but again, she was busy. 28th she said again she’s busy with her friend, because her friends mum has cancer and didn’t get good news. So I respect that and don’t want to interfere.
But I haven’t received a reply from her since... which is stressing me out and my anxiety is going bananas.. It feels like she’s creating that no talking break we wanted to get away from. It feels like we’ve taken a step backwards.
People are saying distract myself, let her come to me, but it’s the last day of the year, and up until a month ago, it’s been an amazing year for me! I messaged her before I went to bed last night saying that she has a good NYE and that she enjoys herself. And still after reading it, and starting to reply... nothing... I can’t do anymore...
It’s affecting my sleep, I can’t use the bathroom, she seemed so desperate to get us to work again and now it’s like she is toying with me.. I’m just lost..
TL;DR - My girlfriend and I were trying to get over a break. After Christmas she stopped talking and it’s making me freak out.
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self.Anxiety
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Any Unipolar Manics Out There? I consider myself pretty much a unipolar manic. I haven't had depression in 8 years, but have had multiple manic or hypomanic episodes.
Anyone else? Anything you'd like to talk about?
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self.bipolar
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I always comment on my friends' stories, but they rarely comment on mine. [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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My existence is a mistake. The only way to restore peace to my life is to end it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams. There's this *thing* in my head. Like an itch from a bug bite that I can't ignore.
It wants me to hurt myself.
It was just on the peripheries at first, something blurred and soft that I could avoid until it faded away. But it keeps getting *louder*. *Bolder*. More focused and intensely present.
Is that me? Is that the real me? Are these attempts at progression through predetermined checkpoints deemed the markers of success the true mark of my living in a false reality?
I can't reconcile this. I have to pretend to be someone I'm not or the consequences are disastrous. In apparent health, mind, fortitude, gender, and satisfaction, my *entire* existence is a lie. But every moment as this fabricated being widens the schism and it’s splitting me in half. The opposite poles of expectation and expression rip and tear at my carefully practiced facade, threatening to expose the limits of my veil.
I wasn't made for this.
Things like me aren't supposed to be here. My mind is diagnosed as "disordered" because it functions differently than those who would label it. Am I, at the core of my being, unnatural? A consciousness so twisted and volatile that the only supposed cure is to sequester and avoid the very traits that define it? Every time I'm told how "sick" I am, I feel so empty. And yet I am so full of all these colors and sounds and passions. But be it the drained monotony of mental illness or the manic expressions screaming into the void, I can't contain either. Both the vacuum and the flood threaten to carve me apart from the inside.
I should be scared of what I'm telling myself to do, but I'm not. Is that not *also* scary?
I can't remember what fear feels like. It all just blends into noise now. Joy and harmony and discord and terror are violently shrieking at me, and no matter how much I wish for silence, the cacophony never *stops*. It's so loud and so bright all at once.
I was supposed to be past this. I dropped out of school and left home and was trapped in a facility for months so I could fix this. I was drugged and deconstructed and carefully pieced back together to form a functional human, and yet it's all coming back. I don't even know what it is, only that it hurts.
Actually, it doesn't hurt. Pain is a word, a lie, a spark masquerading as lightning. There are no words for this sensation. The feeling is beyond description.
I cannot balance the overwhelming silence and hollowness with the sensory overload I experience every waking moment. Everything is so bright and vivid and all the pulsating heartbeats of the world form a swelling nebula of brilliant light where the essence of life expands, surpassing time and binding the hearts of every living being. I see it and hear it and want to revel in it everywhere I go, yet such a vast expanse of warmth eludes me. When I realize this, all at once the starlight is shredded and the void swallows the wordless world.
There's so much I should be feeling, but it's all just outside of my reach. I’m pounding on a window, begging to be part of all the joy and love connecting everyone and everything, yet my only company in this chasm is the cold vapor of my screams.
I am severed from everything, homesick for somewhere I have never been and can never go.
The dichotomy forms a nervous cyst that builds up over days and explodes in cataclysms of existential dread and agony, only to reduce my wailing soul to a grey and hollow shell, struggling to maintain a sense of feeling without resorting to tracing narrow scarlet slits across the surface.
I can’t put the pieces together.
I used to do bad things when I felt like this. Every hidden scar bears the memory of a wound that guided me from wild despair to dull sorrow along its thin trails of blood. In times of realization and pure torture, splitting my skin would pull the shreds of my screeching mind into a coherent space. I know it's wrong to hurt myself. People tell me it’s wrong. So why do I want to do it?
Why do I feel this way?
Why am I alone in this pit, my anguish invisible to the world, my yearning to love and my passion for life condemned to an unsung abyss?
Life does not belong here. *I* do not belong here.
*My existence is a mistake.*
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self.SuicideWatch
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Not so Lonely I've been kind of lurking here and not staying to myself just reading what everyone is saying. This sub blows my mind. It restores my hope in humanity to see so many people come together and share their stories. I know for me it's terrifying to share with someone that I have depression because most of the time is stay positive or have you tried the doctor? But it's nice seeing a community come together and really support one another. So with all that said if you're still reading this thank you and know I'm here for you, any of you. It helps me at least get out of my own head when I have others to talk to. I guess this is my really lame way of saying "Hey we can be friends if you want".
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self.depression
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Don't belong in this world as it's proven over and over [deleted]
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self.depression
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I don’t really know what else to do. For about a year now, I’ve been feeling constantly down, and it’s taken an impact on my life. My grades are suffering, and my relationships are too. I tried talking to my family members, but they all say it’s just “teen phase” or to “snap out of it”. It’s gotten to the point where, my days just come and go, like a blur. I’ve been losing interest in almost everything, and I barely get out (I’m an online student). Any advice?
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self.SuicideWatch
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Anyone ever get really depressed after hanging out with friends? Like, having a good day with friends then coming home to have these thoughts that I hate
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self.depression
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It took hours to turn this run-on sentence into an articulated thought [deleted]
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self.depression
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Starting Zoloft I started 50mg of Zoloft on Thursday and throughout the weekend I felt so awful because of the side effects. I skipped it today and my anxiety was bad but manageable. I was gonna start back on it tomorrow but I was gonna cut the pill in half and do 25 mg in the morning and the other 25mg at noon. Did I already screw up the dosage or should I tough it out and go back to 50mg?
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self.Anxiety
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What situations make your anxiety flare up? I [21/F] have recently read feel the fear and do it anyway. The book says to try something that scares you every day. I hate change and I hate new situations; I’m planning to write my own list but would be interested to know which situations scare you so that I can potentially add them to my beating anxiety to-do list?
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self.Anxiety
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I feel trapped. I feel like I shouldn't be here. I get a feeling that everywhere I go, everyone hates me. I'm pathetic... I cry to much. This illness seems like something that is never-ending, and I hate it. I care about everyone, except for myself. I hate myself. I just want someone, anyone, to give me a reason to be happy.
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self.depression
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Just don't know what to do anymore... The last 5 years have been a complete mental health roller coaster for me. Such a long story of dropping out of college, hospitals, marriage, failing friendships, new jobs, agoraphobia and just plain bad luck. Now, I have a steady job and I leave the house but life just doesn't feel right. Loneliness is the worst feeling. When you have to show confidence in your job but lack any. You try and open up to coworkers but it only blows up in your face. Life long friends disappearing. Realizing your mental health is basically ruining your spouse so you refrain from opening up with them anymore. Trying to find help but counseling centers turn you away. All I ever hear is "don't worry, it'll get better." when? What do I have to do? I just don't know what I'm doing wrong anymore. My heart hurts everyday and I don't know how to fix it. Social media is so toxic and makes me want to scream seeing everyone's highlight reel but then I have my mom who guilt trips me into reactivating my facebook. The world seems like one big trash fire but what do I know. I don't go far from home. Anyway, I'm ranting. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I'm not suicidal currently but I really don't want to fall down that hole. I can't do that again and again. I want to get better. I want to find help. I keep reaching out in the dark but I'm finding nothing. I don't even know what to ask or say. I'm just lonely. How do I stop being lonely when it's hard to trust the world around you?
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self.SuicideWatch
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I think I might be suicidal and not know it... I'm too scared to die, and I don't want everything my families done for me to go to waste. I've accepted that I'm stuck here now that I've been put here. I dont think I'm suicidal... but at the same time, I don't think normal people wake up wishing they had never been born. I don't think normal people keep googling how much it hurts to shoot yourself and not die. I dont think normal people look up the most effective place to shoot, or the rate at which each method kills. And I don't think normal people google "I want to die" just to see the little "You're not alone" bar pop up. I wish I could commit to something for once...
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self.depression
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I want to help my anxious kindergarten student! I'm a kindergarten teacher and I have a student who is smart, well liked and from a supportive and involved family who is so anxious about school and being away from her mother that she is terrified and breaks right down many times a day. She lost her grandfather last year and we think this may have something to do with it.
She's very introspective and good at saying "I am having anxiety right now" which is good. It's worse at the beginning of an activity and when we switch activities or go to another room bug once she gets going on something she's generally okay.
My questions are:
should I keep pushing her to participate?
What are things I can do to ease this?
What are things I shouldn't do?
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self.Anxiety
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Does anyone else notice they get anxiety literally over not having anxiety? Like wait what am i forgetting? Is everything really okay? Just before, i realized i had nothing to be anxious about at the moment (besides the run of the mill existential dread on the back-burner of course). But anyway, yeah, i’ve been not missing work, which i’ve been having issues with, i have everything well-budgeted although its very tight, and basically “all my bases are covered” on a surface level.
Its just so crazy how used to the constant state of anxiety one can become, but i think me noticing this is a positive thing. So if you’re going down a spiral of thoughts, really try to break things down and if you can’t pinpoint something, it could just be what our minds and bodies have become accustomed to. It just helped me feel better about things for some reason, and i hope it can do the same for any of you. Peace and Love
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self.Anxiety
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Today was not a great day. I took a lot of shifts this week. I work in the customer service field and I have been working quite a lot this week, which already started to give me anxiety.
A lot of bad things happened today. I dreaded coming at work because I thought something was going to go wrong. Turns out, my higher up thinks I lost a valuable equipment even though I returned it when I last had it. On top of that, I did not do all my required duties due to how busy it was and I wasn’t thinking properly.
I cried a lot on my breaks.
This is the easiest job I have had, and I still end up having a severe amount of anxiety on some days.
I recently quit a very good job, and have been quitting jobs. I finally started liking this job but today really messed me up.
How do you guys cope with shitty days like this, and give less shit? I don’t want to bother anyone close to me anymore because I don’t want to look weak like this, they have way more problems than I will ever have.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t exist because I don’t provide much for the society, and a lot of things I do get messed up and hinder others.
TL;DR I had a lot of anxiety because of work for things some of which were not my fault. Feeling extremely down today compared to other days and wanted to rant for being extremely useless to society.
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self.Anxiety
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why should i care about anyone when no one cares about me? [deleted]
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self.depression
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My girlfriend wants me to talk with psychiatrist.. Should i go? Shouldnt i talk with psychologist? I dont think even whats the difference, i know only that psychiatrist can prescribe medicine...
And i think that psychiatrist helps only people who are fucked up completely, im not that bad i think
I think almost all the time in a negative way, im not happy(happiness is artificial for me), i have mood swings, suicide thoughts, i feel like im ugly and the worst often, when im angry i want to hurt myself, struggle with anxiety, i worry all the time, no friends,feel like my parents dont like me, dont have any successes at all...
Is it a good reason to talk with specialist? Or im retarded and i should go to psychiatrist ?
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self.depression
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I wonder if other people feel like this... I feel like I spend every holiday whether it’s Christmas or new year waiting for something really special to happen or for someone to make plans with me, instead nothing happens. Tonight, everyone said they had small plans ( none of which I was invited to) and now seem like they are having the best time. I stayed in with my parents and a few gin & tonics and now I’m feeling really sorry for myself. Kinda wish I just didn’t exist.
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self.offmychest
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I just want out Hello. I've always been plagued with suicidal thoughts all my life, but today I think is the strongest I've felt it so far. I've been having severe problems for the last few days, and it doesn't help that my aunt is treating me like shit. This day, she's been angry at me for going to the kitchen for wanting to eat two times. The first time is when she called for my sister, I went down because I was hungry too. When she saw me she angrily whispered "I only called out for your sister." I was going to go back up but she made me sit down already. The second time is recently, I was having an anxiety attack and went to get some food. Now she goes on mumbling something again and says angrily again that I have to sleep early because we're going out tomorrow. I get some ice cream and I couldn't return the lid for some reason. Now she gets angry again because I'm melting the ice cream.
I really just want to lash out already. She always treats me like this. She's always angry at the smallest things, but she treats my cousins nicely (of course because they're her children). I want to get out of this house but I have no money yet to move out. Now I'm contemplating on killing myself because this plus the current problem I have is too much for me and I can't take it anymore. I wanted to feel better that's why I ate ice cream but now I just feel even worse. I lashed out on fb but deleted every post I made because I'm worried no one will even take me seriously and they will just make an issue out of it, giving more reason for my aunt to be angry at me.
I don't even know which friends I ask help from. My current problem gave me severe trust issues. Plus it's so late at night that even my boyfriend is asleep. I feel like I don't want to bother them anymore. But I really really want to kill myself. It's just that I'm worried because my boyfriend loves me very much and I don't want him to wake up that his girlfriend is dead. I also don't want my mom to be so heartbroken. And I also have job interviews on monday and tuesday that i'm worried if I survive that I won't be able to get to the interviews.
I don't know what to do. I just searched this reddit because I don't know who to talk to. I don't even know what I want I guess? Just some comfort? Just to let this all out? Please help me. I don't really want to die, but I really feel like I just want to sleep forever.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Capricorn (2018) So I was recently on Snapchat. Well...my sister was. And she came across something, like a reading for 2018. Reading mine, I really thought about what it said. It actually got to me. It said to strengthen ties with friends and that they can support or help you. But...why? How would it know that I’m going through stuff? Idk...it just confused me. Maybe I should tell people about how I feel. Maybe I do need help. I’ve spent my life holding everything in. From tears to rages of anger. But now...I feel like I’ve hit a breaking point. I’ve felt like I’ve had hit points like this before but they’re nothing compared to this. I’m just really confused and I can think straight. I feel alone and scared of the world, scared of myself. I hate myself to the point where getting off the bus for school gives me so much anxiety I could start crying. I always feel judged, my friends are starting to fade. Maybe that’s why I need to strengthen the ties with them, so I don’t lose them. I just hope the year ahead can be better than the previous. I need my life back, I don’t want to keep living like this.
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self.depression
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Why do people care about us? So, there's this podcaster/YouTuber I stumbled upon, and in one of his recent videos, the topic of suicide comes up. In the video, he speaks about all the suicidal messages he recieves from people
all around the world who listen/watch him. As he goes on, it gets harder for him to talk about it, and it reaches the point where he breaks down, where just describing the messages puts him in tears, as you can tell how much he cares for these people and how much he can empathise with them.
But, I just don't understand it. As much as I try to get it, I can't. Why do people weep for us? Why do they care so much? Why do they spend so much time and resources helping us get better? And with 7.6 billion other happy souls out there, why should one or two lives even matter?
TLDR: I just don't understand why people would help and care for others so much, even when there's nothing in it for them?
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self.depression
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hang myself I'm gonna go grab a rope and hang myself I'm 54 rady to die
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self.SuicideWatch
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I fuck shit up every time I try to establish friendship In this case a coworker too. I hung out too much at my workplace when I was off yesterday now I got her in trouble. Today her bf got in contact with me saying to cool it, presumably allowed him to get my number from her phone. Well, that's another bad impression I made within 7 years of fuck ups. I might as well not exist. I'm not worth anyone's time. I keep making mistakes.
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self.depression
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Any of you guys have problems with gambling (when manic/ in general)? [deleted]
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self.bipolar
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When I have a moment of me without depression, the realistation of what I have missed is like a knife in the heart I occasionally have moments where I am normal again, and I see the damage that depression has done to my life, and it is like a stab in the heart.
Occasionally when a new life experience forces itself upon me, my brain washes away the depression as it lights up with new information and experience, and then I see the avoidant decisions I have made throughout the years.
I view the life I could have had as if through a movie in my head. I see the confidence, the pleasure, the ease of attitude, the pleasure in lifes little things. And then I know that that is not what I am.
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self.depression
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Has anyone tried therapy and what form had worked best?
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self.Anxiety
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Feel like I’m going to be in trouble for something Last week I felt very depressed and desperate. I was just feeling so frustrated and helpless. I made a bunch of posts about that, and ended up more frustrated with the answers I got.
This week I feel less depressed, but so anxious I don’t know how to interact with other people. I ended up deleting my main account this morning because someone on a normal sub had taken an old response of mine, began trolling my account, and ended up causing a dispute with a mod. I had another rude answer waiting for me on a separate site/forum where I was just asking a school question. I just have this feeling of impending doom like I am about to get “caught” doing something bad. My bosses have been on everyone’s ass at work, over small things. My home life is not good. I am having issues with my ex. I need support badly, but I am insatiable and so tired of non-answers and rude answers I just had to vent.
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self.Anxiety
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speechless I don't know what to say. I'm done. I should off myself. I really fucking should. I was so close to saying something. Parents asked what was wrong and nothing came out. I had a chance and I said nothing. It's like I was screaming but nothing was coming out. I fucking hate my lard fucking body. I am the definition of pathetic. Fuck. FUCKING FUCK
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self.depression
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I️m having mixed episode and I️m concerned for myself Hi, never posted here before but here goes. I was diagnosed w Bipolar 2 around April of this year. I was on lithium for a while, super low dose, but then I went off it when I ran out and had been doing fine. Recently, I am going through a VERY stressful time, and I think it has triggered a mixed episode. Some things I’ve been experiencing:
- inability to get out of bed in the mornings (feeling so depressed I cannot move)
-staying up until 3-4 am simply because I am not tired
- extreme feelings of apathy, sadness, and hopelessness; I will be feeling good and happy one minute, then a switch flips and I feel suddenly that I am incapable of socially interacting, getting out of bed, going to class, etc.
- inattention and trouble comprehending things people say to me - feels like my head is cloudy, people talking to me is just background noise
-extreme agitation
- extreme anxiety
- hyperactivity/mania (duh)
At its worst, a typical day looks something like this:
I wake up and instantly *know* that I cannot go to class. I feel as though my body is trapped in my bed and have no desire to get up or do anything. I feel completely numb. When I finally get out of bed, I feel similar; very numb, very apathetic. Usually around 10:30-11am I get manic. Can’t stop talking, get extremely compulsive (feel that I *must* write down an hour-by-hour schedule of my day or I just won’t be able to go on), I get irritated by anything and everything yet can’t stop trying to interact with people and talk. This is where the listening problems come in; People could be talking to me for 5 minutes and It sounds like muffled words- I zone out. Then, usually around 1 or 2, I feel “normal”. I usually work or go to he gym around this time, so those go fine. But then 5pm hits and I am depressed again. I lay in bed, unable to eat or do homework. I can’t talk to people or be in social situations. I neglect my responsibilities and remain in bed for hours until I start to get restlsss again around like 11 pm. This is when I can’t sleep. I simply do not feel tired - I lay in bed on my phone or watching Netflix until somehow I fall asleep or until 6am hits, when I can usually fall asleep again for a while. Right now I am writing this at 5am. I haven’t slept bc I simply don’t feel the need to. Yet I know that when I have to get up at 9, I won’t be able to. The process starts over.
I guess I just need advice. I don’t know how to handle this correctly. I feel as though lithium would help but I also don’t have access to a prescribed right now. Any advice welcome
|
self.bipolar
|
What’s the point I got another email from my professor about how I’ve missed so much class that I could fail, but he’s giving me another chance which is good but I’m so used to fucking up everything why should I live it would be so much easier just to end it all
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I don't like the people I go to college with. I've been at my local community college for almost two years now, and for the most part it's been okay. I've met some really great professors, I've made a very close friend, and I've done a lot of hard work. But something has been bothering me about this college, and it's the fact that it's filled with people I don't like.
I'm not just talking about the people who do stuff like walk really slowly to their class, or stand around and look at their phones while people are trying to get through the hallway. But yeah, those things annoy me as well. However, what really gets under my skin is that so many of the people I attend this school with are so immature, rude, and disrespectful. For instance, a couple of days ago when I was waiting for my Speech class to start, I overheard these two guys talking about the professor of said class. Now, you should understand that my Speech professor is such a sweet person. Sure, she talks a lot and she's a little ecstatic, but she gives us nothing but respect and she's such a kind soul. But these two assholes, for lack of a better term, were talking shit about her. She breeds and adopts Scottish Terriers, and takes them very close to heart. So one of the two guys says that he's going to say to her that Scottish Terriers suck and they're shit, or something along those lines. Honestly, I felt so angry and disgusted at these two guys. And you wanna know the worst part about it? One of the guys that was talking shit about the professor, he's like one of the most popular people in the class. Everybody talks to him, says how positive he is, and he's always around this big group of people. I wonder if those people would still hang out with him if they heard what I heard, if they found out that he isn't really who he says he is. That just made me so angry for the rest of the day, the fact that someone who's that big of a jerk is so popular around people.
You wanna know what else bugs me about the people in this school? Sorry, I keep calling them people because I don't have anything else to call them. I would call them students, but I don't personally think they're deserving of being called students. Anyway, I hate that these people are on their phones all the time during classes. Seriously, like even when the professor is speaking. They have their phones out, they're texting, they're hiding their phones beneath their desk even though the professor clearly knows what's going on. It's like, what is so important that it needs to distract you from the lesson? You're paying for this class, you're paying to go to this school, and all you're doing is texting when you're supposed to be paying attention. That is so incredibly rude to the professor, that you can't even look them in the eye or listen to them when they're talking because you're so absorbed in your phone. Now, I know what you're probably thinking. You're probably thinking that I'm like in my 80's because of how I'm talking about how much I hate people being on their phones all the time. But no, I'm 22, and I do indeed have a smartphone myself. But you know what I do that these people that are around the same age as me don't do? I turn the fucking thing off before I go into my class.
Here's a few other things I've noticed about the people at my college:
-A lot of them are Trump supporters. Like, even the people who are in the 18-20 age range. One of the assholes that I mentioned before is one, I've seen his Twitter and it's full of Trump stuff. How the hell are people this young already starting to have racist, sexist, extremist views like that?
-Some of them talk about you as if you're not even there. This one guy in my Spanish class moved his seat from where he was sitting (close to me) over to someone else, specifically because "it was getting annoying sitting over there." Whatever that means, I don't think I did anything to annoy him.
-So many of them blast their music through their headphones, or not even when they're wearing headphones. Fucking hell, dude, people can hear your music from across the hallway. Don't you think you're disrupting other people? Doesn't that seem overtly rude to you?
How is it that so many people that go to college don't seem like they've even graduated high school yet? Like, I feel so fucking old now because I'm around a bunch of kids in my classes. Scratch that, I meant to say I'm around a bunch of fucking ADULTS, who have brains the size and capacity of someone who is still in high school. Is there a time when these people are ever going to grow up? At least be grown up mentally before you go to college, or else you end up failing all of your classes because all you did was text people and make an ass out of yourself.
My education is very important to me, if you didn't get that by the wording of this post. I, for one, didn't think I would ever make it to college. I am autistic, I was first diagnosed around the end of middle school. I got bullied a lot, I got made fun of because I was this super quiet kid who was an easy target. I had multiple suicide attempts, I've lived through countless bouts of depression and anxiety. So yeah, getting to college has been one of the biggest successes in my life so far. But for some of these people...it seems like college means nothing to them. It feels like none of them want to be there. But then, why are they paying to go there? I ask the same question to myself whenever I see someone who skips class constantly, or drops the class around the first few weeks. What are you doing that could be so important, that it makes you not want to go to college? It just doesn't make sense to me. None of this makes sense to me.
|
self.offmychest
|
That's it. I've decided that no matter what, or how hard I try, I'll amount to nothing in the end. and that's that.
I've finally accepted the fact that I'm worthless.
|
self.depression
|
I thought getting a job would help. I was wrong I'm worse now than ever. I don't want to get up in the morning and go to work, I hate interacting with people. The money I get isn't even enough to comfortably live, I'm lucky to get $100 a week. I've had two breakdowns on shift just last week alone, and I get home every day and just cry because I'm so drained.
I just want to talk to someone and have them understand. I feel so alone lately and I have no-one, not even my partner understands the torment in my brain.
|
self.depression
|
What medicine works best for irritability / anger for you?
|
self.bipolar
|
I can't conform to the social norms of people my age [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Question about "de-realization" My short-term memory has been really bad, particularly in times of heightened stress, but recently I have started feeling like my lack of ability to remember things is a symptom of my losing touch with reality. I read about "derealization" and "depersonalization" which seems to explain it, but now I feel like I am making it all up and being dramatic over nothing, or that I can't trust my perception, even when my perception is that my perception is flawed.
Today is my worst experience of it yet and even after my attack earlier I still feel totally out of it.
It's a bit fucky and I am a bit worried I have a more serious issue. I have made an appointment with my doctor (just in case it is something serious) but I wanted to know if "losing touch with reality" is something that other people here might have experience with.
Am I making much ado about nothing?
|
self.Anxiety
|
I'm a mistake. I am nothing. I am just a heavy baggage for everyone around me. I just can't see nothing in front of me. I want to die. I don't know what's worth fighting for.
|
self.depression
|
I just made a legit suicide plan I've always attempted on a whim before. But this time, I've got a plan. Saturday, when I get my meds, I'm going to tell my boyfriend I love him and I'm running to the store. I'm going to park my car somewhere empty. Im going to take all my pills and wash it down with as much alcohol as I can stomach. I'll climb in the backseat of my car. If the meds don't kill me, the cold will. I really just needed to tell someone about this. I'm scared but I'm sure. I can't see any other way out and finding help has been difficult and humiliating at times. I am finally ready to say goodbye. Honestly, the only person who loves me is my boyfriend and he can do so much better. I just hope he doesn't think I don't love him.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I envy some of you. Everyday i read posts on here and see that most of you have either friends,family,soulmates...
I have none of that and reading that makes me wanna die even more.Well good thing my time is coming very soon.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I got engaged only to realize that I have no close friends I recently got engaged. I'm only having groomsmen to make my fiancee happy. In reality I don't have any friends that I am that close with anymore except for 1. Outside of one who was married a few years ago (and I was in his wedding) none of them are married and I can't imagine that they would ask me to be in their wedding party if/when they get married. I feel like, except for the one whose wedding I was in, the reaction to me asking them to be in my wedding party was more of a "really?" than anything (but they did all say yes and seemed excited). I never realized how few close friends I had until I had to choose, as my fiance says, "my closest friends who I know I will be friends with for years to come".
On the same path I am kind of torn on whether or not I want a bachelor party. I think it would be fun but I have hesitations around certain things that are common. My fiancee says she doesn't really want a bachelorette party but her bridesmaids basically told her that they are planning something and she can't know the details; they are just going to pick her up and take her somewhere and pay for everything including airfare if needed. I don't want to to plan my own bachelor party partly because I am torn on how much I actually want one, but also that feels like something I should not be doing for myself. I just don't think I have any friends who care enough to plan one for me so I am guessing it will just fly under the radar that I never had one until someone asks about it on my wedding day.
It makes me kind of relieved that I don't have to deal with the aspects that will stress me out about having a bach party, but also makes me sad that I will likely not have one and nobody will notice because I don't have any close enough friends that will care whether or not I have one at all.
Not sure why I am posting here but mostly because I don't have anyone else to talk to about it or even tell and it has been having me super down. I can't tell my fiancee because she will only get on a group text with my friends, none of whom I fall in their inner circle of "best" friends or whatever you want to call it, and basically tell them to do something for me because nobody is stepping up and that is going to make it feel disingenuous and forced, and likely foster resentment toward the whole event within myself.
|
self.offmychest
|
I never finished college, quit my first salaried job, now work as a rideshare driver, and am scared every day that my family will find out and yell at me. [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
why do i feel like this? since yesterday i just felt my chest was so heavy and my heart was beating fast and i feel so worried that something bad will happen. when i do something i feel like i cant focus or dont feel like doing anything, i feel suffocated and depressed. is it because of loneliness or boredom?
|
self.offmychest
|
I'm having a good day and it scares me Normally everyday I'm riddled with self-pity and disgust, feeling shitty with myself and hearing constant arguments between my parents from the next room. But today was different; they didn't fight, they smiled at me and didn't insult me at all and I didn't think of killing myself after a long ten years.
This scares me and I know something is gonna pile up on me, like this just one random day where nothing happened and this fear that shit is gonna hit the fan real soon. Is it just me?
|
self.depression
|
I feel trapped at home with my own family Ever since they knew I had a bf and that I'm gay I'm a shame to them, they're aren't please with Anything that I do, my mother has insulted me, my sisters it's just a bully in some sort of way and it's just nice when she needs a favor, and at the end I'm the only one that is wrong all the time and I never have the reason, I can't even spend time with my friends or in college since for then I'll be doing something bad and forgetting about them ( sometimes I wish that last part was true and I could forget all the mess), the deal is that I can't leave home since I'm in med school and I'm afraid to be a charge to anyone. I'm kinda desperate and trying to cope in the best way possible with this...
|
self.offmychest
|
I can’t drink because of my meds, but what do I say to others? The majority of social activity seems to revolve around drinking, and people can be really inquisitive and pushy toward the one sober person in their midst. I want to still get myself to go out and socialize, but I don’t want to admit I’m on anti-depressants just because I keep getting alcohol pressed my way. Any tips on how to handle the situation?
|
self.depression
|
No interest in anything that I used to love... I am 20 years old. Second year in college. I spend most of my days locked in my dorm room, pretending I'm stuyding, while all I am doing is overeating, sleeping and crying.
I don't know what caused this. I used to love my major (history, pretty much all I can do), but this semester, I missed half of my classes. I don't give a shit anymore. Sometimes I struggle to finish some papers, but when its due date, I stay in my room again without turning them in. I loathe myself for this. In high school, my parents used to push me a lot, and I am not afraid to say that my results were above average. I was admitted into college without any entrance exams, my grades were good enough to let me in without any trouble. While I was at home this summer, I also lost some weight in gym, and I was happy for a little while. Now, all I can do is waste my time, life and friends away. I am losing grasp on what is real, and I cannot controll myself anymore.
Fat, ugly, no social skills, and a shitload of mental problems. I am too shy to visit a therapist, not only because I am scared of any human contact, but also because my father would not support me. He always thought I was lazy, and he won't accept any other explanation.
If there is anyone who got into similiar problems...and walked through safely...please, I beg you. Help me. Tell me what helped you kick that boogeyman away. I am scared that one day, I will open that closet and won't walk out alive. Not scared for myself, but for my parents and my brother. They would break down. Without them, I would have closed that door already.
|
self.depression
|
Stuck in my car - because I'm too depressed to go inside to work I usually really like my job, even though it's pretty stressful, to the point that I was actually *excited* Monday that the long holiday was finally over. Excitement faded well before lunch. I'm still struggling badly to fill the role of this promotion I pushed so hard for last year.
This particularly bad episode has been almost a month now. I go to bed as soon as I get home from work, I lay in bed most of the weekends, I even started drinking some.
But it wasn't even that *good* before - I stopped taking medication in June because it "hadn't been working" for a few months. Apparently the meds only felt like they weren't working because they were doing their best to moderate severe depressive episodes into milder depressive episodes.
My mom didn't have chronic severe depression until she had children. But since my disorder started so young, I didn't think having children would affect it. I was very wrong. It's sad how little of their infancy I remember, even though my firstborn is only 3 years old. It's impossible to take care of others when you can't take care of yourself.
I'm in a female-dominated profession, but every other woman I know with more than one child at home works part-time (unless they have grandparents living with them). I feel judged as a bad parent for devoting so much time to work and "letting daycare raise my kids" but it's worse when I'm home, ignoring them or screaming at them or smothering them with affection to make up for the bad days.
It never makes up for the bad days.
|
self.depression
|
I think I loved the person I thought you were. [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
I sincerely hope you're dead, and that doesn't make me a mean girl. [deleted]
|
self.offmychest
|
How do you cope with all this? What do you do when you feel overwhelmed with all your problems, and you MUST succeed but it's just too hard?
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
statistics regarding anxieties and types of therapy? Anyone have some source of (or a list of) statistics regarding what forms therapy have been proven to best treat certain forms of anxiety (social, health, etc.)? Thanks
|
self.Anxiety
|
Just venting If you want to read, any advice would be helpful. Otherwise, this is one hell of a wall of text. Stay strong folks.
I get up around 7:30. I eat my granola dry with a glass of water because I can't eat milk. I shower, brush my teeth, pack my bag then walk to college. I enjoy this part because I can just get lost in a song outside.
I get to college (slightly late) where I greet my friends. I never feel like I'm truly accepted here. Whilst we've had laughs, been abroad together hiking, helped each other out at parties when we've not been feeling too great... They don't message me outside of asking me how to do homework. I like to try and remember interesting things that they say they're going to do and ask them about it later, or just anything because I generally care about how they're getting on.
Anyway, the day goes on. I have 6 lessons in a day. Whilst I'm interested in the subjects, often it just feels like killing time until the next lesson. At lunch I try to eat something bigger so whilst most of my friends eat at the cafe, I like to persuade at least someone to eat with me at the main canteen. The food isn't tasteful, but at least it's warm and I feel a bit more human after. After the last couple lessons, I walk home often alone. My friends mostly have cars by now or get the bus back with each other. No one lives near me so even if I wanted to visit or invite someone round, it's a hassle and I don't want to hassle them when they might be too polite to say they don't want to visit.
I'll sit down at my desk and do the homework I have to do for tomorrow. By the time I'm done with that I don't feel like doing much. Perhaps I'll play a game on my pc but after a while, I get the feeling that I'm not even enjoying it and doing it out of necessity to fill a time void.
6/7 days I'll go on a run before dinner. I did 10K yesterday and I like the feeling of running. The physical response of the ground against your feet seems to make me feel just that bit more alive. If it's raining it's better, as I get to feel more of the world around.
It's true, running makes me feel better but there's something wrong with me because whilst I know I'll enjoy it once I get out there, I have no motivation to and like everything else in my life the only reason I do is because it's structured around a routine. After I get back and eat, I still have another 2 hours of the evening before I should sleep. Perhaps I'll find myself listening to some Segovia or Tarrega. I love my speakers because music elicits emotions in me easily. Currently listening to a mixture of Norah Jones and Rob Wasserman. If I'm not listening to music then I'll just fill the void with a video game that I won't enjoy and it'll stress me the fuck out but at least I'm feeling something.
I'll play a bit of guitar to make sure I'm improving at least somewhat, then go to sleep and wake up feeling like shit in the morning.
What is strange is that some days I feel great. I listen to some Stevie wonder, Pastorius, Tower of Power etc walking to college. The same the day goes the same way but everything seems to just be great. My friends still don't message me first, the lessons are the same, I eat the same breakfast, and have an ok run and after question how I was ever sad, and think I'm just some fucking phony attention seeker. But here I am typing this and I feel like shit.
In college, I'm asked why I look sad. I'm not aware that I do, I guess I'm not going out of my way to smile but do other people? A girl I used to like I think just considers me as her smart little, sad, shy buddy and that pisses me off because there's more to me than that, but no one ever fucking asks and I don't wanna shove it in their face. I like all the people around me and I don't blame them for anything, I just don't know whats wrong with me.
I just feel like my life's repetitive. My dream of taking a few months out to hike the AT or a European trail is several years away because the course I want to do at uni doesn't like gap year students. My weekends are spent alone with my parents finishing work or gaming, and running. I feel so privileged for the life my parents have given to me. I can't tell them I feel like this, that I daydream often because I imagine myself somewhere not here, or that I'm so lonely but I avoid talking to people because I don't have a single fucking thing to say.
I would love to invite someone over. I feel like I've missed out on 5 years of my life. By my age, my siblings had friends who congregated around our house just for the fun of it most days and still meet up even though they are separated by hundreds of miles at different cities. But I have had 3 friends over in the last 5 years. What would we fucking do if they came over, sit and play Mario Kart? But it's too late now, I don't know them well enough and neither do they know me enough. I'd love to listen to their problems, be involved in some of the 'gossip' or be a point of call if they need anything other than fucking answers to homework. So we hardly have anything to talk about or relate to between us, and I'd like to start.. but where?
I promise this is almost over if anyone reads this aha. I'm currently talking to this girl who I don't want to lose. I don't know how she feels about me, but I don't know what to talk to her about. There's only so many questions I can ask about how her essay went, or if her dog is better, or how the film was in the end?
I'm lonely, I want to talk to people but I have nothing to say and they never talk to me first. My life is a repetitive sequence and hobbies bring joy but only ever temporarily. There's so much more I could say but I won't. Enjoy your day/evening/night folks.
|
self.depression
|
I'm really starting to hate living my life. You(I) don't know how to express my thoughts or emotions well. every social interaction you make is practically a play, or a move like in chess. and the more that people disappoint you, the more validated the system becomes. It's just so frustrating. You have goals and you have ideals, things you would like to do and achieve. But what's the point in telling people if they'll only think a) You're crazy or b) you'll never make it (your own fear as well).
What's the point in continuing to push on emotionally when all you do is fall down, again and again, through either no fault of your own or being entirely your fault. Whether i's stupid decisions by others, or your continued procrastination (which you are doing right now by typing up this post anyway), how can you possible hope to achieve anything that you dream about and vividly imagine everyday.
Because at the end of the day you know what everyone's really thinking. You'll settle down, have a normal life. But you hate it, it eats at you everyday that it could become your reality, and for some reason you refuse to make a change on it now, but set a deadline to change (which you probably won't change in anyway), and that only frustrates you more, and yet you know what its inevitably going to lead to.
Friends: They either won't believe in you or the same. It's complicated so you avoid talking to them on it.
Exes: Either didn't understand, or thought of you as ridiculous.
Yourself: Well not much hope believing in that.
Venting: What actual good does it do talking about it randomly on the net.
There's really no one to turn to on it but yourself, and it's why you hate living your own life and want to escape. You're imprisoned within yourself.
|
self.offmychest
|
Wow!! Night and day difference going from 60mg to 80mg Latuda Like its almost hard for me to believe. I had been on the 80s for about 3 weeks then insurance got screwy and I had to fall back on the 60s. I got to say time on the 60s wasnt all that stellar and then I missed a day and it kind of went to shit after that.
Had my pdoc visit and he hooked me up with a month of 80mg samples. Last night I took the first. Last night was tense as I was feeling down as I had been for a while. I went to bed upset and woke up the same way. Though a few kind words and it went away. And then I realized. I recognized I was feeling a certain way and then I recalled that I had the same feeling last time I was on the 80s.
Its almost hard to believe bc I just took the med last night. I wouldn't think it would be that fast acting. I would say on the 60s I felt more on the depressed side. However now I feel slightly more on the positive side. I also have this feeling that i describe as a pseudo-buzz as its kind of similar to a hyped up feeling I get when on sudafed. I attribute this to my vyvanse. It seems as if I am able to feel my stimulant now which is great!! I hope it stays this way, but from what I recall I think it will so long as I get to stay on these 80s.
|
self.bipolar
|
How do you feel when u actual suicidal? I'm scared I feel that feeling right now.
I went for a walk today and it was dark outside, and it came car after car and I walked next to the road. I started thinking about "what if I jump" and started playing it in my head. And I feel I get a adrenaline rush out of thinking on it. But I got a "counter" thought to this. Cause when I start thinking of it, I instantly think "nah u don't wanna do it, u dumb fuck. Then u will never have a boyfriend, u will never know how it feels to cuddle etc"
I'm super scared I feel suicidal right now 😭
How do u guys feel, when u actually feel suicidal?
|
self.depression
|
Trying some things. Don't think just do. Day 1 [removed]
|
self.depression
|
What did I do to deserve this? My BF just helped me confess to my best friend that I have a big fat lesbian crush on her.
It went so well. :)
|
self.offmychest
|
DAE ever feel guilty for complaining because “at least you get to be happy”? I’m not sure if I should post here since I’m undergoing evaluation rather and we have not confirmed a diagnosis yet.
I have friends who have unipolar depression and this thought crosses my mind quite a bit. Also my ratio for mania vs depression is around 3:2, which I’m aware makes me extremely fortunate (although I’m including mixed emotions on the mania side.)
|
self.bipolar
|
I don't know what's worse Being depressed because things are bad, life is hard, you're alone and hopeless, or when things are good and you're loved and heading for wonderful new things?
I should be happy. Great new job opportunity, ending a chapter of my life plagued with fear, sadness, and guilt, a fantastic marriage, a lovely house, money and health. Yet I am so sad.
I'd almost rather have reasons for this rather than trying to reason it or explain it. I feel guilty for being sad. I'm so fortunate. But fuck, I can't stop.
|
self.depression
|
Being unemployed is like having your self-worth get beat with a baseball bat everyday It hits at random times, really, really hard. It's so sad. Dunno where to put this so here it is. Wrote a long thing but fuck it.
|
self.offmychest
|
Upped my citalopram dosage, feels like I'm starting over I just upped from 10mg to 20mg. My regular anxiety was increasing and my normal maintenance methods were not working as well as they usually do. I was originally supposed to up to 20 after the first 2 weeks last year but I tried and couldn't get past the side effects.
Seems like the same thing is happening again. Twitching, nausea, depressive symptoms (cyring)and my brain running wild again. I feel like I've put myself right back where I was 6 months ago when I started taking medication. I'm going to stick with it and trust that I'm strong enough to make it through the first few bad weeks. Wish me luck. This group is a great source of inspiration and I just wanted to post this to say you're not alone and you're strong enough to overcome what you are dealing with.
|
self.Anxiety
|
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