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New Physical Symptoms? Lately (especially after a night of drinking) I've been feeling very twitchy and have muscle spasms. I went to a doctor who after running some basic tests said there doesn't seem to be any neurological issues with me. I believe these are apart of my anxiety but don't know. I have extreme hypochondria, so when I get these feelings I freak out, fearing an oncoming seizure (even though I've never had one in my life). I also feel spacey and lightheaded, and lately a second long wave like feeling of dread passes over me and I feel it coming up my throat. This is so bad but I just need reassurance other people have this random anxiety and I'm not super ill. I'm currently seeking Psychiatry so I can get on some type of medication, I hate living like this.
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self.Anxiety
|
Convincing myself there's hope. This was my first holiday season since my dad passed. I thought I could handle it by myself. I had been talking to friends and family and truly felt I could do it. I have ketamine treatments beginning this week to look forward to as well as my sister and her family coming up to visit. I just had to make it through today. Simple, right?
I couldn't have been more wrong. I couldn't handle my depression when he was alive let alone now. I just see his shadow over everything, gone too soon. Now I need to convince myself that this treatment will help, that I will have something to fight for. But I'm alone in all this. I have friends but they're far away. Same goes for family. How do I get up each morning and motivate myself to give it everything I have. I've been doing that for years and I don't know that I have it in me anymore.
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self.depression
|
Zoloft breast pain Anyone on zoloft (sertraline) 50mg and have very sore breasts...I’ve been on it for 2 weeks and two days ago my breasts started hurting a lot.
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self.Anxiety
|
What's wrong with me? Ok,please read completely before judging. I am really smart firstly.I haven't slept properly for quite a while.
But recently I've been experiencing events where I'M acting really stupidly,like recently I was playing a game of UNO with my young siblings, I lost but could hv won with 1 smart move(still based on luck though) and therefore I couldn't sleep for 2 nights, another event where I couldn't guess a physics event which dumb people were able to guess. Please help me,I haven't slept properly since a week, it's affecting me professionally. Another instance was when I blurted stupid things while in a physics practical,where one of my frineds who is not that intelligent corrected me and since then uses this incident as a bait to prove me dumb(he used to consider me intelligent).PLEASE HELP ME,everyone seems to ignore the seriousness of this issue.
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self.Anxiety
|
Is it pathetic to go to a concert on your own? So I managed to score tickets to Download in June, something I've wanted to go to for ages. But now my friends have bailed out giving me some BS excuse. This isn't the first time this has happened and I have missed out on tons of events before due to having no one to go with.
I usually hate going anywhere on my own cos I feel so out of place when I see couples and groups of people there which sends my anxiety through the roof :( I'm seriously contemplating going on my own as I'm sick of being let down by my friends and missing out on stuff I really want to do. Would it be as fun going alone or would I just be out of place?
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self.Anxiety
|
Dailyo and mood swings Ok so : I started using Daylio a month ago, and it's great, I can see some patterns, keep track of depressive episode etc etc
But my mood swings make a lot of the day seem pretty "normal" even when the hypomania come (generally the crash even it out on the graph since I haven't had multiple day being hypo yet) how do you manage to keep a precise track of your mood through the day ?
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self.bipolar
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I BEG FOR HELP, PLEASE READ Girlfriend of 6 years turned strange in a week and broke up with me without reason. [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I feel like a waste I'm 20.
I never really click with people, I mean I get along well with people, I have close friends and acquaintances, but from my side I never feel like I've clicked with anyone.
You know that teenage notion of 'nobody get's me', or the 'I'm different to everyone else'... in a strange sense, that.
I feel like I should have a girlfriend by now, I know why I haven't and it's down to me always wanting to see what else is out there, if I'm doing 'as well as I could'.
I'm very competitive with myself, I don't care for sports, I'm not competitive in that sense, but I always feel like I've yet to achieve anything I'm capable of.
I set high standards for myself and I feel like I'm a waste.
These standards are not black and white, it's not a checklist of 'graduate college, get a girlfriend, become a millionaire'.
It's just me being a perfectionist.
I went out last night, NYE.
My friend got into an altercation, police were involved and I managed to talk his way out of it.
I got on the bus to go home and I looked at the nice sweater I was wearing thinking 'is this my life?', I'm just another drunk guy talking to girls and getting into trouble with my friends, not that that's inferentially bad, it's just not what I want..
I know what i want.
I want to be successful, by my definition.
I want to make a lot of money, I want to run a business, actually feel of some significance and not just a guy with potential, because that soon turns to wasted potential.
I'm sick of being good enough to have a girl for awhile but never exclusively, never in a relationship, I don't want to wear nice clothes and think it was a substantial purchase.
I want to get out of college and start to live.
I've hated college, my only friends are my friends from home and even then it's just getting drunk and into arguments on nights out.
It's so easy to say 'oh but you're just being hard on yourself', or 'everything takes time'..
I agree in regard to both statements but I don't see that as reason to settle.
I'm sick of being a 20 year soon to be a 20 something year old who could potentially feel accomplished by my own definition, to have at least achieved some of the goals I've set..
I want to feel like I'm at least on my way, and not sat wondering if this is my life, as though I'm shocked by the notion.
But I don't know where to go with it, I've just been listening to Do Not Disturb by Drake thinking how different of lives we live, and each with our own individuals problems, but I can guarantee he feels more accomplished and happy with his life than I do.
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self.offmychest
|
I've been meaning to post this for a while somewhere Here goes nothing. Gonna use abreviations for names to keep anonymosity.
Parents recently divorced and my mother was the only one to sustain the family for the past 5 years. My father also brought money home but not as regular as my mother. We sold our house and I'm currently living with my dad. I was a month at my uncle's with my mom and sister, but since my aunt doesn't like my guts and was constantly nagging my mother about me, I decided to move in with my dad. I'm the oldest of three, 1 brother and 1 sister. My mom is busting her ass open to find a house and my dad doesn't seem to care. They argued often but it never got physical but my mom has been mentally and physically exhausted for a long time. Lately I've been feeling down often because of my parent's situation and also because i don't seem to get my life together. As soon as i think things are going smooth, i get smacked right in the face and feel down. Suicidal thoughts cross my mind here and there but I'd never think of harming myself that much to eventually lead to death. Here's my back story:
About me, I'm 21 lightskinned (black dad whithe mom), 185cm tall (6'1), 80kg (177lbs), I'm rather fit since I've started playing foot again. I'm chill, funny, good listener, outgoing. I'm a good listener and on some instances people vented to me even though they barely knew me. I don't judge, I just sit there and listen. I'm 6/10, 7/10 on good days.
About 5-6 years ago, I had my trust in people broken. I was never one to go out much. I'd rather stay in and play COD. At the time, COD and football (soccer) were the only thing on my mind. I was pretty decent at both and they didn't really interfere with school.
At home father's company had just gone bankrupt and we were in debt. My mother had a stable job so she managed to bring money home and sustain the family. Growing up we never went hungry and money never was one of my issues, so my mom's a hero and my dad's kind of a jackass. This didn't affect until much later when it was too late.
When i was 13, i had a month trial at a major club in Portugal (Fc Porto), but since i was too young and didn't live in Portugal, my dad and grandfather didn't want me to stay there. Next year i went to train there again but same thing happened.
Back to 5-6 years ago, there was one girl in class i had a crush on. I had good share of friends, I spent time with and she was one of them. One day someone's parents were away, and we decided to have a home party. I went, got wasted but as i wasted something happened i would find out months later. (Legal age of drinking in Luxembourg is 16 so it was easy to get a hand on alcohol). After the home party, friend group started falling apart but i didn't think much of it.
3 months later, I was eating with a friend, when he asks me if i trusted girl A, the one i had a crush on, and if i trusted my best friend (still my best friend to this day). I said yes because I really did trust them at the time. He then says to no trust them anymore. I was confused since I did not understand why he was telling me. I ask why. He tells me I'd rather not know it. After some time of gettim him to talk, he then tells what happened. While I was wasted at the home party, girl A and best friend had sex while I was wasted. They kept on talking to me like nothing had happened. This made friend angry because everyone that was at the home party knew except for me and he felt the need to tell me. Later that day I confronted both best friend and girl A. Best friend didn't wanna tell me, but ended up telling me saying he regretted it and shit. Girl A though said yes without regretting it as if it was a normal thing to do. I cut contact with her and moved on with life but never had a crush again until 2 years again.
In the mean time, I had quit both COD and football since I didn't enjoy them as much and lost love for both of them. I didn't game as much and went out a lot. Never hooked up with anyone, am not shy but can't really connect with people. My class was cool and we partied, new set of friends, but had like 3 good friends (still same best friend).
2 years ago, I graduated with good grades and after we got the diplomas, there was a party. I was kind of drunk but not wasted. There was this girl B grade lower but kind of cute. I talked to her, got her number and we talked for a while. She stopped texting me and felt down again.
Parents finally got divorced 4 months after I graduated. I was 19 at the time so it didn't hit me as much, and was studying french at university abroad. But whenever I was home all parents did was argue. It got on my nerves so I didn't spend as much time as I should have. I quit university after 4 months because no motivation. The No Motivation thing though slowly became a trait. I would start doing something, get into it but quit after a month. I fell into alcoholism, so bad that I'd drink almost everyday. This lead to some mental breakdowns when I was home alone, but I never really vented to someone since I couldn't trust people. I'd vent to some friends I knew during my gaming days since it was less personal.
Lately I've been talking to girl B a lot and almost everyday. Even though I know I'm deep in the friendzone. A friend told me he says it would be better for me if I stopped talking to her since it's nlt healthy. Parents situation is out of hand now and my mom is still living with uncle. The situation has been getting to me lately but there's not much I can do. I'm back at uni, now closer to home doing mathematics. I'm trying my best to keep at it but i can feel myself losing hope and motivation to pursue studies
TL;DR: Parents divorced, can't trust people because of a certain incident. I don't know where i went wrong and what i did wrong. What can i do to change myself, Is there any hope in this situation. What should I do?
Sorry to bather y'all with this long ass text but I really needed to get this off my chest.
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self.offmychest
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How should I tell my parents when it’s the time.. [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Depressed teen Soooo im only 17 and im depressed for a long time already (2-3yrs i think) when i was training i kept it under control and pushed bad thoughts and things away but shit always happen to me so i got badly injured over a year ago and i still cant train , i dont know when ill be able to train and jf ill be able to train eve again . Since i got injured everything i succsefully pushed away throught years of depression hitted me back even harder than before . I cant find joy in life anymore , i suck at school , my grades are shit cuz i cant motivate myself to start learning (even when i try to learn i still fail on tests) , im afraid i ll have to repeat 3rd grade , and i just dont want that, this year we re suposed to go on excursion and i rly want to go with my school friends cuz im great with them . Almost everyone tells me im good looking , im pretty etc , but still i cant find love , i fell in love only twice i think and both times they didnt feel anything for me, one just used me to get over her ex , and second told me im like her best friend... in second case it might be my weight? Cuz i gained almost 20kg since i stopped training (my face still looks good but my body is like dad body...i used to have packs...) but who knows... i just eat i guess that helps me to supres my feelings and everything? Currently im trying to lose weight but its hard when i cant do anything... tommorow my winter break ends and im returning to school and i just dont want to live anymore... +im always arguing with my family brothet etc... plz someone help me i dont know what to do anymore...
P.S. sry for my english it s not my first language , i hope u ll understand everything.
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self.depression
|
With the way this shit is going, I don't think I'll matter to anyone ever on an intimate level.
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self.depression
|
Why do elderly people think that nursing is the only career that women should do? [deleted]
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self.offmychest
|
am i going to get any better ? (sorry for my english because its not my first language)
i've been depressed for over 4 years i took all kind of medications with my doctor but nothing changed . i really don't know if i will get better soon or my depression will stay with me for my entire life.
im relly worried and desespred.thank you
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self.depression
|
I’m so fucking sick of never being able to relax with people. Everytime I interact with someone it’s so forced, awkward, quick, weird, and unenjoyable. Even after a minute of being stuck with someone I will be DRENCHED in sweat and in physical pain. I’m so sick of anxiety. It’s fucking RUINED all my relationships. I can’t even be alone with my best friends anymore, I’ve lost all of them because I keep postponing and postponing hangouts. I’m getting really tired of this.
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self.Anxiety
|
Job makes me think of suicide constantly. Can't quit because of poverty. So I'm a dirt poor Brazilian shitstain who owes a lot of money to banks and needs to earn a lot of money. I am also a junior programmer with the responsibilities of a senior and the salary (and knowledge) of an intern. I am awful at this job. I don't want it anymore. But I need it and there's nothing else I can do to make money. Our economy is dying and soon enough I might be homeless. I don't know what to do. I want to die. I need to die before I lose everything so I at least go with dignity.
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self.Anxiety
|
My dad refuses to seek treatment... Is this normal when manic? He's already gotten his diagnosis, years ago, but he dropped off his meds and I think has been lying to us that he's been taking it... now he's full-blown manic. He just sold his Rolex watch for a loss of $7000. The trader is probably laughing his way to the bank. He's doing so buy a ticket to China to travel on his own--which I think he might do today. I can't say anything to stop him. I don't want him to be travelling at this state. He might end up doing something stupid. I don't know how to talk to him at this stage, or if I can even do that. My mom's still trying to stay strong but she's taking all his mental abuse and insults.
He keeps saying that she's trying to control his money when he's the one who's jobless and won't pay his gambling debts or help him treat all his friends (or acquaintances) to lunch He gave me a lift to work this morning, to yell at me about my mom controlling his spending 'like he's a prisoner'. He tries to Uber people to earn side income, but he ends up giving free rides and buying them lunch instead, at my family's expense.
Some people say to cut him off when he's like that, but my mom's been cushioning all his actions for years and all my relatives are very against leaving him to fend for himself. They continue to enable while he refuses to seek treatment.
What to do? I'm at a loss... I really hope that he doesn't disappear to China (again).
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self.bipolar
|
I am close, I have never been so certain before So, I am, for the first time in my life, so close to taking the early checkout option. I have, a few times, feigned an attempt because I wasn’t really ready, just trying to cry out maybe, even though I didn’t really tell anyone I tried. This is different though, the times before were impulsive and in no way effective; however, I have never been so calm and reasonable about carrying out a plan. It is unnatural how much peace I have, now that the real decision has been made and all I have to do now is carry out the last act.
I don’t want to keep going, life isn’t life anymore. It’s agony and every moment is exhausting on every level. I know my family will suffer, that’s the only reason I haven’t done it yet, but I’ve made it to the point where I have accepted that this might be the only way.
I don’t know why I am posting here really, but I have. Maybe this is my note, maybe not, but I honestly don’t think I can make it very much longer.
Look, I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to live anymore. The fear of death has been overcome by the misery of living.
Help maybe, I would like to have not to go through with this, but I really can’t find any.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Dissociation and derealization Hey everyone. I have been struggling with anxiety for about 2 months now. It hit me at first with an extreme panic attack and ever since that first panic attack I have felt as if I am living in a sort of dream and like nothing is real. I get really confused and my hands are always trembling. Sometimes my mind just goes blank. I am studying abroad currently and right when I left home this all hit me, but I’ll get extremely sad thoughts about not wanting to feel like this forever and I just want to feel like I am in control of my life. I feel as if I have no control and my anxiety runs my life. Sometimes I get a weird tunnel vision or dizziness, but for the most part I just feel disconnected from myself.
If anyone feels like me, please speak up. I feel like I’m going crazy and if you have any tips or pointers, please tell me. I have seen a counselor from home and tried a few weeks of seeing one here.
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self.Anxiety
|
I'm going to kill myself soon. Thanks for everything. This Sub gave me some comfort and made me feel that I wasn't alone. Even though I haven't posted in awhile I did through out much of the year. There's some really good people on here. I felt a little less alone speaking to people on here. Some advice and empathy can go along way. Knowing others who struggled made me feel at times less of a freak and nutter than I am. I hoped I helped others too.
Things have gotten to much for me,this year was a complete waste of life ((past 11 years have been tbh). I'm constantly depressed,angry,anixious etc and I've been in therapy for 2 years and hasn't helped much.
However now I think I may have glaucoma or some other eye problem. Maybe even diabetes or brain tumour I dunno. But I do fear I could go blind (even though I can see) I have pressure in my eyes at times and head pressure too and I feel dizzy too. I know something is wrong. I can't stand being alone and blind is too much. It's not like I have much to lose anyway. No job,no friends, no hobbies etc.
I just wanted to say thanks, and I hope people get mental and physical treatment early on and don't wait up on things like me. I honestly wish people the best. I don't care about death because I'm getting out of the pain I'm in now and the pain the future awaits.
Bye
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self.depression
|
Just my thank you's I'll take the opportunity sitting here with a bottle of whiskey to say thank you to my parents for the beatings and treating me like an object, to all the kids in school that beat me up and humiliated me, to my "friends" that betrayed and used me throughout the years, to all the crazy women in my life that showed me a new meaning to pain, and on a side thank you, to my doctor that made a joke about prescribing two boxes of pills instead of one fully knowing my background.
To all of you, my thanks. I would not be the man i am today without your support.
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self.depression
|
How can I tell if I'm depressed or just fundamentally a piece of shit. Have all the pieces in my life fallen apart because I'm depressed and it's turned me into a piece of shit? Or did my self reflection and reaction to my own actions (ie, being a piece of shit) brought on depression?
Or are they the same thing and I'm searching for causality that isn't there?
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self.depression
|
I can't stop thinking about death. (TW for obvious reasons) I hate not being able to truly feel happy. Every time I feel upbeat or optimistic about my life I just know it's another pointless hypomanic episode. It's just empty excitement usually brought on by circumstance, not because I truly feel fulfilled. Every time something new happens to me, it's only a matter of time before I get used to it and grow bored with my life again or screw things up for myself. So easy to go back a depressive episode triggered by the stupidest things. It's an exhausting cycle. Every day feels like an exhausting chore and I'm sick of living week to week working in an office feeling like an expendable cog in a stupid capitalist machine, having nothing to truly look forward to in the long run. Sometimes I can't believe how people actually look forward to living to old age. I really don't see the point when I know I may feel like this forever. I'm sure I already reached what little potential I had.
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self.bipolar
|
I think about suicide everyday, but I know I am too much of a coward to do it. I just feel trapped.
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self.depression
|
Is it possible to be depressed for just a week? I'm not sure why, but I was suddenly severely depressed last week, yet for the past couple days I've been feeling relatively okay. Now that I think of it, most of my depressive episodes have only been one to two weeks in length while my manic episodes can last for up to a month at a time.
Is this normal?
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self.bipolar
|
DAE ever get suicidal thoughts "against their will"? I've been having suicidal thoughts the past 2 weeks like "I should kill myself" or "It would be so easy to just kill myself with a knife" or "I don't want to live anymore, I can't take it anymore", etc. The thing is, I don't *want* these thoughts to be there, to even be present. It feels like they are occurring even though I don't want myself to be suicidal. It feels like my conscious mind is fighting against my subconscious mind. My conscious mind is being rational and logical and it *knows* suicide is not the answer. Whereas these suicidal thoughts keep popping up in my subconscious no matter how I try to ignore them or block them out or overpower them with logic. It honestly feels like that "[kermit vs hooded kermit](https://images.huffingtonpost.com/2016-12-02-1480719823-2522186-EvilKermit_Header-thumb.jpeg)" meme. At this point, it feels like I'm losing control over my own mind. I'm scared that these thoughts might eventually progress to the point where they completely take control of my mind. I've heard certain people who've attempted suicide tell of a "suicidal trance" you fall into.
Does you ever feel like your suicidal thoughts have a mind of their own that won't listen to you? How do you do deal with it?
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Can I please have a hug? I've been crying for hours. All I want is to be loved by someone again. I wish that I could hug someone and let it all out
Edit: i love you all
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self.depression
|
Restless, irritable feeling Every now and then, I’ll be able to relax to a point where I’m comfortable and then all of the sudden have this restless, irritable feeling that makes me feel like I️ have to leave. It feels like I’m trapped and I️ need to escape, when in reality I’m just watching tv with my gf. It’s just frustrating that my thoughts have such an effect on me. I appreciate any thoughts, feedback.
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self.Anxiety
|
I'm on my way down now My husband flew out in the morning yesterday and I flew in by the time to pick my son up from school.
I came home to a disaster area. I can't stand it literally. I've been hiding in my bed neglecting my son all morning. He popped in to ask if he could have cake for lunch and I said yes.
I'm in the living room now but still in my pjs and just looking at all the mess. I'm almost sure I'm staring at a pee spot but the floor is so cluttered I can't even get the steam cleaner into the room.
I feel like I am going to barf. I'm crying. My birthday is on Tuesday and I had expectations that they would make the house look nice for me, not leave a huge ass mess.
I can't even start cleaning. I don't know how to make myself start cleaning.
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self.bipolar
|
Anyone else get a false sense to pee when they are anxious? [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
|
I obviously know I have a problem but I feel like there isn't really a way to get external help If I go to a doctor I'm risking being institutionalized. They can't cure my autism which I feel is at the core of my depression and I don't want to be emotionally lobotomized by modern medicine especially with all the side effects. What advice would they give me? I feel level headed in my self hate. My major problem is the ups and downs and I know the downs are bad and I've tried a lot of coping strategies but I really feel like I deserve the downs when they happen.
And a major problem is insurance. I have insurance from my parents (I'm 20) but how do I get my insurance to cover the costs without my parents finding out? I've taken measurements to have the paperwork sent to me but idk if I'm getting everything and the process for getting mental health coverage is not easy. It seems like a lot of effort for something that will probably do me no good. Even if the way I'm coping rn isn't the healthiest I feel it's the best option
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self.depression
|
Missed a bunch of sleep and I can feel it catching up I was sick, plus working a bunch of overtime at work. I haven't really slept much the past week, for the past couple days I can feel it starting to hit me. My wife was away the past couple nights and I can tell she thinks I skipped my medication, I really didn't. In fact I haven't missed any for the past few weeks which is pretty much amazing for me.
Anyways, I'm definitely going up. I've got all my usual signs. I don't know what to do, or if I even want to do anything about it. I know if I let it take it's course eventually that course might lead to a crash and depression. It doesn't always, but when it does it's bad.
Anyways, I'm having an especially hard time concentrating, or focusing. I don't know if it's a common thing, I'll be working on something, and it's like my mind wanders off at a hundred miles a second about this and that and here and there. And I feel like I'm constantly on edge about to explode with who knows what. Rage? Happiness? Overcome with joy? I don't know! I just feel like something is trying to explode out of me. I guess it kind of goes with the constant need to talk and fidget, because if I stopped I'm sure the pressure would be too much and I'd be ripped apart from the inside while people just gawked at me. I don't know what I'm posting anymore, I've gone on some weird tangent now. I'm bombarded with signs and signals by somewhere, something...I can't describe it. There's just too much going on in my head I can't even find the right words anymore.
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self.bipolar
|
Bipolar and Supplements Hey y'all. I'm 28F on Wellbutrin, Lamictal, and Lithium. I low key suck at drinking water, but am getting better at it. My doctor recommended that I start taking B6 ( I chose a BComplex with high B6), and I added Spearmint and Evening Primrose for the severe cystic acne that comes with Lithium.
I also started taking Milk Thistle, as recommended by someone who also has Bipolar, as it is supposedly good for your liver function.
I was just curious if anyone else takes supplements or what your personal experience with any has been. I know since supplements are sort of wishy washy anyway, so defnitely not a recommendation, but am interested to see what other folks might know for further research.
Thanks!
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self.bipolar
|
Anxiety crash, up all night. Mood is a powderkeg. This sucks. [deleted]
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self.bipolar
|
What's a good word/phrase to describe when you want to do something but you are too anxious to try it? I've noticed I have this symptom sometimes. Where I logically know that there is [something good] that I can do. But instead I feel anxious and procrastinate instead.
Does anyone else ever feel like this? What's it called?
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self.depression
|
How do I deal with obsessive thinking combined with depression? Lately I realized that if its possible to have our minds immortalized by transferring them to a digital copy (basically creating a backup with a computer, or slowly replacing each neuron with a computer to keep our conciousness intact) that its possible to wind up in a situation where humans have created an eternal hell.
I am terrified that one day the government will force people to have digital copies of their brain, or "go digital". It will probably start with the military, but eventually everyone will have to (the government loves control). At this point, it would be possible for a hacker, or a shady government, to just torture a person.... forever. I mean, until the universe ended, if it does. If the person can't die, then there is a chance for eternal suffering.
It is REALLY upsetting me. Now, I dont want to die. Im not suicidual by any means. But I can't trust other people with something so important as my eternity, and so I dont ever want to have to live forever in this world.
How do I handle this fear??
This feels very real to me. Please don't make fun of me :(
It's gotten to the point where I don't want to live a long life becuase the longer I live the more likely I am to be living when this technology is available.
My mental health has gotten so bad I worry I am one day away from having to be institutionalized.
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self.depression
|
Been feeling better for a month now. But still not good. It just wont leave. Its a leech. It will always stay. What the fuck should I do? Its tearing my relationship apart. Its tearing me apart. I’ve given up on almot everything soon. Yet I feel calm? Am I giving up? Am I going to end it soon? What the fuck am I supposed to do.
I cant talk to anyone anymor, I’ve been told that Im too much of a burden. And I dont blame them. I blame myself. Its no ones fault but my own. I probably deserve it...
Sorry, had to vent.
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self.depression
|
I can’t handle working I know that title sounds like I’m a deadbeat, but I genuinely can’t handle working. At least not fast food. When I started working I was happy to finally be able to make money, but then they started training me on one thing and then trying to get me to do a million different things I just don’t know how to and then getting disappointed with me when I tell them I don’t know how to do it. Since I started working I’ve had about 10 anxiety attacks and I started working about two weeks ago. Yesterday, I had one that was so bad my legs went numb, I started to black out, and my arms started tingling. Luckily I was able to go on break, but I never recovered from that anxiety attack, and am still laying in bed more sore then I’ve ever been.
I just don’t know what to do. It feels like everything I try to do differently gives me anxiety. Granted that job is the second most stressful thing I’ve ever experienced. I don’t want to be labeled unemployable because of my anxiety. I even doubled up on pills before work and that still happened. I’m genuinely terrified for my future...
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self.Anxiety
|
I hate me, I hate this illness, I hate everything about the person I am and the effects this has on me I hate my life, waking up every single day to utter silence, nobody, complete and utter distant.
I wake up with guilt and regrets. I cry, I hate the person I let myself become.
Im glad my ex broke up with me due to the guilt of my depression. No one fucking deserves to have the shit that I bring, in their lifes.
Im a fucking piece of shit human being and one of these days I'm gonna wake up and really just stop this burden that I bring to the world.
I let my fucking depression get to the point where I hid everything from her and pushed her away because I knew she deserved better than me. She wanted me and all I could do was push her away because im a coward.
3 months later and I'm still here, in my head, repeating it every day.
Im a worthless piece of shit, human being, with no direction, ambition motivation or skills.
I cant keep doing this, I'm deteriorating daily.
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self.depression
|
I'm not the person my friend needs I have MDD and I have a friend who has bipolar disorder. When she's manic she would suddenly run away from us and hid someplace where she can cry or self-harm. I really tried my best to be with her like contacting her or following her. I really tried my best to communicate with her because I know she needs someone when she's manic and even when she isn't, I'm trying to be there for her.
I know I'm not the person she really needs when she's really sick, but I try to be with her with or without that person. I don't know. I feel useless or something. I know I'm empathetic and that's one of the shitty assets I have. Maybe, I'm too annoying for her or I'm just getting in the way of their friendship or I'm really not that needed. I tried my best. I really did. I feel left out. I feel alone. I feel abandoned. I feel unnecessary.
When the day came that I quit university and went to my hometown I have less communication with her and my other friends. I really tried my best to never get myself involved with anyone. I thought that it'll cause me to get hurt more. But the more I distanced from them, the more I felt hurt and forgotten. I have these thoughts that it would be better this way when it isn't.
My friend communicates with me sometimes but it's hard keeping in touch when she just suddenly shuts you away and there's no other way of communicating to her. It hurts when I'm being shut down. I mean I'm also doing it and it hurts when I did it but I try my best to move on. But being shut down repeatedly hurts even more.
I'm sorry for my English and grammar. English isn't my first language.
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self.bipolar
|
I'm frustrated. I don't like very many of the people in my life right now - in this individual moment - and I know I'll look past it in a few hours, or days, or whatever; I feel like this is a moment of clarity, though, unobscured by the apologies of emotion. I don't like the way these people treat me, and I like even less the way I know they think about me, the way they talk about me when I'm not around. I feel like I'm just a joke to them, like they keep me around to laugh about. Or at.
I've been rather disillusioned with the concept of "people" and having them in my life at all for quite a while, and things are just getting worse and worse and worse. I can't even keep up the pretense anymore. People ask me what's wrong when I'm around because I'm just too tired for the fucking charade, and they don't understand when I tell them that there's nothing wrong - that this is just me, that who they know isn't, because I just don't care enough to even attempt to appease them anymore. I really couldn't care less.
I'm unlikable, and I'm okay with it. I don't want to be liked anymore. I don't want people in my life. I don't want to *want* people in my life. There's no room for me in anybody else's, if the past near 30 years are any indication, and that's quite alright with me. I'm tired of being perpetually let down by everyone else around me.
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self.depression
|
I don't know what I'm doing anymore... I really don't. I feel as though my life has been a major letdown up until this point. I did fine in high school. I finished my first semester at college, and finally made friends. But I'm 19. This feels like the first time I've made any sort of friendships. I've never dated anyone. I've never had a major achievement. I do everything I can for others. I help people. I genuinely try to be a good person by my own standards. But it always seems to never matter to anyone. I'm always cast aside at some point or another. I'm always forgotten about. I'm never invited anywhere. When I'm home, like I am now, my mind is clouded by these bad thoughts. I've never done drugs. The stress of life in general seems to be killing me. I feel sad. I know I'm a major depressive, but I don't know what I can do to fix this. I feel trapped by my introversion. Anytime I meet someone new, I freeze up. I'm awkward to talk to in person. My mind jumps from topic to topic, much like this post. I don't have the guts to tell anyone this in person, not even my own family. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, and I feel like it's going to kill me.
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self.offmychest
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If one takes a big amount of pills (but it’s not big enough to be 100% lethal) with the purpose of hoping one dies anyway, is it considered a suicide attempt? [deleted]
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Being a male with depression sucks because i feel like i cant talk to people about my problems because i want people to think im normal so i google how im feeling and everything is geared towards women
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self.depression
|
another day another weekend indoors. another day of being alone. another day of wishing that i wasn't such an ugly, worthless, disgusting piece of shit. another day of wishing that a girl would show any amount of romantic affection (16, male. never had a gf. never hugged a girl, held a girls hand, or kissed a girl in any romantic setting). another day of thinking "it would be nice to be able to go somewhere, or have a friend to hang out with" (live in the middle of nowhere, to poor to get a car. can't get a job cuz none are currently within walking distance). another day of thinking "damn, wouldnt it be nice if a girl gave two shits about me". another day of realizing that we've got it fucked up about suicide: we don't care until there gone then we care so much that if we cared 1/4 before it happened as much as we do after, they'd probably still be alive (saw it first hand, a kid died a month ago at school. it was probably a suicide considering the circumstances). another day, another post. another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another another. i'm tired of another "another". i'm tired of the same shit every damn day. i'm tired of the boredom. i'm tired of the pain. i'm tired of the sadness. i'm tired of being alone. i'm tired of having shit grades. i'm tired of not having a life. i'm tired of the depression. i'm tired of being tired. i'm tired knowing that barely anyone cares. i'm tired of being physically tired all the time. i'm just tired.
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self.depression
|
Hyperawareness of my mouth and tongue Hey guys. I am fairly new to reddit and especially this subreddit, but would like to share my story and maybe hear if you'd have any suggestions on what to do about my problem.
First of all, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder around two years ago, but have been battling it for quite a long time. I've had many different symptoms, but this one I currently have, is completely new \(and I'm not sure yet whether it's even tied to my anxiety but it seems to be\).
For a bit over a week now, I've been constantly aware of how my tongue moves in my mouth and how much saliva is in my mouth. I have to swallow the saliva constantly or otherwise I feel like it'd "drown me" \(English is not my first language so it's a bit hard for me to explain things\).
It started with my mouth feeling a bit funny \- it felt like my bite had suddenly become different, and I suddenly hated the feeling how my lower middle teeth hit my upper teeth. It felt so awful and I was so sure there was something wrong with my teeth.
When I went to sleep I couldn't get sleep at all because I suddenly didn't know where to rest my tongue. I've even asked my boyfriend and friends where they rest their tongue but I can't seem to be able to hold it against the roof of my mouth, it always "slips" lower and touches my bottom teeth. It made me feel very anxious, and I could even imagine that the pressure of my tongue pressing against my teeth would somehow move & fuck up my teeth.
I thought this problem would be gone in a day or two, but no, here I am, still stuck with it. Even now I'm thinking about how much saliva is in my mouth, how my tongue presses against my lower teeth and how I need to swallow every two seconds. The only time I get the slightest amount of peace is when I'm chewing a bubblegum, but it doesn't help for much longer than a minute or two \- then I'm back into thinking about this problem.
I haven't been able to properly sleep for a week now, only because of this. I stay awake up at night, feeling the pressure of my tongue pressing against my teeth and the constant need to swallow. It's driving me nuts, and I just don't know what to do. I just want to sleep and get rid of this problem, but I'm now afraid I'll be stuck with it forever and have to live the rest of my life with this problem.
\(Oh, I also went to the dentist this week because of this problem but there was nothing wrong with my teeth or mouth in general so it's all in my head then\).
Has anyone ever had a similar problem? What have you done about it? Is there anything I can do and most importantly \- will this feeling ever go away?
Hopefully this is the right subreddit for this.
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self.Anxiety
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Share Your Victories Large & Small Weekly Post - 2018-04-21
As I'm sure many of you already know first-hand it can be overwhelming even to do the "little" or "normal" things in life for those with anxiety issues. It's about time every one of us bragged about our triumphs big and small in our day to day life.
This weekly post is all about sharing our victories - large and small. Because let's face it - for those of us suffering with anxiety issue it really is all about the little things. Success & victories large AND small happen all the time and these are worth sharing. Also, sometimes in sharing these moments of success, there is the added bonus of fellow Redditors - giving encouragement and hope. It helps to know that there are people actually beating this.
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**Come chat with us!**
That's right /r/Anxiety is on both [IRC](https://kiwiirc.com/nextclient/#irc://irc.snoonet.org:+6697/#anxiety) and [Discord](https://discord.gg/anxiety) were we hang out and talk about random things, or help those who are having a hard time. Tons of great people so feel free to stop on in and say hello!
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| [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/index) | [Types](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/anxiety_subtypes) | [Online Resources](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/onlineresources) | [Community Map](https://redd.it/5ff4bn) |
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self.Anxiety
|
2018 has started off terribly and made my depression much worse [Long Story] [deleted]
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self.depression
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Tips for dating with anxiety I posted this elsewhere and thought maybe it would help some of you who have been posting about dating and love. . .
If you don’t have the time to read it all, check out the TLDR at the bottom of the page.
Tip One: Bye, Bye Booze
This is a widely accepted but rarely followed rule. Even people who don’t struggle with anxiety get nervous on first dates. Oftentimes people will suggest you take a shot or two to calm your nerves down. This is a Very. Bad. Idea.
As a young, single woman in Chicago, I often went on dates. The issue is that these dates almost never went anywhere, because I always got too drunk and made a fool of myself. I would take a few shots to calm down, then a few shots more and by the time I met my date, there were two of him. I quickly learned that you don’t make good impressions or good choices when you’re drunk.
The other issue with drinking before a first date (or any big event) is that you start to train yourself that drinking is the only way you can do something. Instead of focusing on working through those initial nerves, you start to believe that there is no other option available.
But there are other options. Keep reading to discover some tips for going on a first date without alcohol, and beyond your anxiety.
Tip Two: Sit at the bar
Does it seem contradictory? Don’t drink but do sit at the bar?
Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. If you struggle with social anxiety the way I did, then part of your fear is another person’s focus on you. I always terrified of people seeing me twitch or freeze up. Sometime my eyelids would flutter and I couldn’t control it. The idea of sitting face to face with someone I was romantically interested in terrified me, especially since there weren’t other things to occasionally distract us from one another’s company.
It’s tough, because going out to eat is common for a first date – so, make it work for you. Suggest a sports bar that has TV’s playing. That way, you can interact with your date, but you can also use outside distractions as a source of comfort if things start to get stressful. You are also both facing the bar instead of one another, which helps take some of the pressure off.
This method also works for interacting with the bartender for those of you who fear all sorts of social interactions. Nervous about ordering your food? Look at the menu while you’re doing it. I don’t encourage avoidance, I encourage baby steps. Once you start getting these little victories, you’re going to start to feel more confident in general, and you’re preparing yourself to take on even bigger (and more rewarding) challenges!
Tip Three: Do something outside
I am a lover of the outdoors. Even when my anxiety was at its worst, I could find comfort in nature. I felt connected to something greater and something better, and while my anxiety was still there, it wasn’t the all consuming terror that typically wreaked havoc on my body and mind. There’s also so much going on outside! The sky is constantly changing, the birds are chirping, there are different species of trees and flowers to hold your attention.
Why does all of that matter for a first date? Because those are all things to distract from whatever is happening to you internally. If you go for a walk with your date, the focus is on the things you’re observing outside of yourselves. So if your hands are shaking, clasp them together and tell your date to look at a neat flower nearby. If your voice keeps breaking, then take some time to listen to the wind in the trees or the birds calling out. You’re also burning off your nervous energy by moving – it’s a win, win!
Tip Four: Do something at night
My anxiety has always physically manifested itself, and that made me even more nervous to be around people
because I thought they would judge me or think I was weird. Nighttime is something of a security blanket though, because people couldn’t see all of the things that were happening to me, and that awareness actually helped calm me down!
Suggest to your date that you meet at a local park to stargaze. Bring a blanket and sit next to each other while looking up to the sky. Not only are you able to better manage your anxiety this way, but it’s also a really romantic way to spend a first date.
Tip Five: Be upfront about your anxiety
By the time I met my fiance, I was already living a life beyond anxiety. That being said, I still have occasional bouts of nervousness! My partner does not understand anxiety. He is an extrovert, loves to be around people and hasn’t ever had a panic attack. Yet, he shows me great compassion when he knows I am struggling – and that is because I was honest with him.
I told him about my struggle with anxiety during our first week of dating. I didn’t lay all of my cards on the table right up front (it took me some time to tell him everything) but I told him enough that he understood what I had dealt with. It was a huge weight off of my shoulders and made our relationship that much stronger for it.
I do not think you should disclose everything on your first date. Anxiety still has some stigma attached to it, and it’s something that takes time to explain. I do think you should be up front before your date and say, “Look, I struggle with anxiety. I can be nervous at times and first dates are tough. Do you think we could do XYZ so we both feel comfortable?” Your date will respect that. And if they don’t? They’re not worthy of going on a date with you.
Tip Six: Find your confidence
I have tough days still. Nothing like before, just “normal” tough days. My recovery time from those tough days is almost instantaneous though, because I know what to do to feel better.
I go to the gym. I eat right. If I’m having a tough day, I stray from my typical t-shirt and shorts and a pony tail, and put on a dress and do my hair. These are things that are important to me. You may not need a dress to give your confidence a boost. Find what it is that makes you feel physically confident, and work it.
After addressing that, I then remind myself of my accomplishments. I am alive. That’s my greatest accomplishment. I found love. I can do some woodworking. I can read a large book in a day (if it’s good)! These accomplishments can be great or small. They are still things to be proud of, and when you focus on the good things about yourself, you will temporarily forget about your anxiety.
Tip Seven: Reloop from your negative thoughts
I learned the concept of relooping during my stay at the hospital. It’s a really great tool if you are consistent with it. I remember reading about it the first day during our exercises. I was still coming down from the alprazolam and thought it was the absolute most ridiculous concept in the world. The book said that every time a negative thought popped up in your head, you needed to reloop it to a positive thought.
At the time, my thinking was, “Everything is negative. Nothing in life is positive. This is the dumbest thing ever.” But even then I knew there were some positive things in life and I begrudgingly acknowledged that. After some practice though, I started to focus on the positive more than the negative!
You get on a positive track of thinking and all of a sudden you start thinking positively about yourself. When you’re headed into a first date, your mind may be running with thoughts of how the date will go wrong. Well, just reloop and think about all of the ways the date can go RIGHT.
Tip Eight: Refocus your attention
I am a big fan of exposure therapy. That means you do the things that are foreign and uncomfortable (or even terrifying) so many times that you eventually make them comfortable. Getting there takes time though and you need something to help you get to the next step.
If you are out on a date and start to notice that you are sweating or your heart is beating rapidly or your date keeps looking at that one spot where you can feel a blemish swelling up, then refocus your attention. Look for a distraction. If you’re at a restaurant (sitting at the bar) take a few minutes to watch the sports channel. You aren’t ignoring your date, but you are giving yourself an opportunity to calm down. If you’re outside, point something else out so you have time to catch your breath.
Tip Nine: Double Date
You may have a friend who is very outgoing but somehow completely gets you. They may be able to help move things along without stepping on your toes. They may sense when you are getting uncomfortable and know it’s time to distract the group for a while. While I typically advise against relying on other people to manage your anxiety, a group date may be a step in the right direction if you haven’t gone on a date before.
Double date has a second meaning though. It means you need to have a first date. Then get out there and do it again. As I mentioned above, exposure therapy means going through an uncomfortable situation so many times that you end up acclimating to it.
Tip Ten: Remember that one date isn’t going to change the rest of your life
Let’s say you read this, follow all of the tips go on a first date. . . and it’s awful. That’s it. There’s no more to it. It was an awful first date, but guess what? You still did it. You still braved your fears and went on a date. Maybe it only lasted ten minutes. Maybe you twitched the entire time and freaked your date out. Maybe your hands shook and you knocked a plate of spaghetti on to your date’s Armani dress. None of that matters. What matters is that you took the initiative to get out and do it, and that’s HUGE.
My father has always told me that he doesn’t get embarrassed. He first told me this when we were driving home and I had drank several bottles of water, but wasn’t close to a bathroom. He said the worst thing that could happen is having to clean out the car and throw your pants away. Case closed. Luckily I made it home, but that oddly resonated with me. Embarrassment and anxiety aren’t tit for tat, but if you can overcome one then it gives you the tools to get past the other.
If you’re short for time and rushing out the door for a first date, then look below for a condensed version of this list.
Don’t Drink – You may become dependent on drinking to engage in certain activities; and, as a person struggling with anxiety, you may drink too much and find yourself in an embarrassing or even dangerous situation
Sit at the Bar (but still don’t drink) – You’re not sitting directly across from a person and the focus isn’t completely on you, which provides some comfort during the date.
The Great Outdoors – Use nature as as means of distracting your partner from your shaking hands. If your voice is shaky, stop talking and listen to the birds. Walk as a means of burning off some of your nervous energy.
Night Moves – The dark can be a security blanket for many. Go somewhere and look at the stars.
Honesty in Anxiety – If you give your date a heads up about how you’re feeling, then they can be more sympathetic to your situation and plan the date around something that makes you feel comfortable.
Find Your Confidence – Dress your best, remind yourself of victories you’ve had in the past, look past your anxiety to your achievements. That little boost of confidence can go a long way.
Reloop – For every negative thought that pop up, reloop it to a positive one. You may not be able to stop the bad thoughts from creeping in at first, but at least you can balance them with something good. In time, you’ll train yourself to seek out the good in every situation.
Refocus – While you are getting used to exposing yourself to situations that exacerbate your anxiety, it’s okay to rely on distractions to feel comfortable. If things become too tense with your date, focus on something else, like your surroundings.
Double Date – This has two meanings. One is literal — if you have a friend you do feel comfortable with, ask them and their partner if they would like to do something as a group. The other is about exposure. Date, date and date again (unless you find the right person, of course!) The more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll feel.
The Sky Isn’t Falling – The most important thing to remember is, if you screw the date up, you’ll still recover from it.
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self.Anxiety
|
Hung up on a girl I just need to let it out right now. For years I've been hung up on a girl and for years she as never really rejected me but basically pushed me off. I cant get closure and it kills me inside. Every night I'm on a app like tinder matching with girls trying to shove this girl out and I just cant. Most nights I'll kill a bottle just to sleep but in reality the more I drink the more I think. I need advise before something dumb happens.
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self.depression
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fuck it Seriously whats the point in prolonging the inevatability of death? Whats the point in furthering our already bloated species? I know I'm meant to find joy in the little things and I know I'm meant to be grateful for what little I have but I can't forget the fact that everything I do is pointless and will be forgotten in a few years. I hate myself and I hate what I've become and I'm too far gone now. Seriously don't know if I can handle another day anymore.
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self.depression
|
Too scared to take my medication.. help? So yesterday after a terrible time trying out Citalopram, I was prescribed Mirtazapine to try and help with my Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and lack of appetite which has now caused pretty bad constipation. This medication sounds perfect for my issues, but I'm too scared to take it. It's just sitting on my desk as the clock ticks by until I decide to try again tomorrow like last night. I get so anxious about it, as if I'm about to take a hard drug like MDMA or a psychedelic or something. I can't stop thinking about what if I have a bad reaction to it? What if it turns out I'm allergic to it or something? Or what if it makes me freak the hell out like Citalopram did ending in yet another ER visit thanks to a panic attack. I never used to have any health anxiety issues, but now I'm a serious hypochondriac. I get scared to take simple pain meds like Paracetomal because I'm scared I might have an illness I don't know about that reacts badly to it. Gah. Ironic that the thing that could help these feelings is causing so much anxiety just to take.
Edit: Finally took it, here's hoping for the best. Nervous as hell though. Going to play some video games to take my mind off it but I'm sure that won't last long with this meds effect of knocking you out within an hour.
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self.Anxiety
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What to do when feeling suicidal Feeling really anxious and suicidal don’t know what to do
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self.depression
|
Wish I had a healthy brain I get to see my boyfriend maybe once a month, LDR, and this morning he left to go back home after a small visit, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to put me in the hospital from my anxiety. I’ve been severely depressed since my suicide attempt on Christmas Eve, and I only have so many things right now that I feel are worth living for, and when he left this morning, half of them left with him. This sounds so ridiculous, but any stress makes my brain tell me it’s time to die. I hate it. I’m out of my anxiety medicine, and can’t get anymore until the end of this week, or next week, and it’s really taking a toll. I try and remind myself I’m working towards moving a state over, so we can move in together, but I feel like every time I finally start saving a good amount, it is taken from me with random issues and bills. I just want things to start looking up, and to not feel so absolutely lonely anymore.
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self.depression
|
My meds work well: a story in how I can’t stay up late any longer. I’m trying to stay awake to go get my boyfriend from the airport. After I realized he was going to get in WAAAAY LATER than my bedtime of 9:30, and lamented about this with my aunt. She and I concocted a plan: I’d to drive over to her house, and then she’d give me a ride to the airport to pick up boyfriend, and then he could drive us back to our apartments if necessary. He lives walking distance from me, or could stay over! However, I’m on my fourth cup of coffee this evening to try to stay awake, and it’s just not happening. My daily regime is carbamazepine 600mg, buspirone 30mg, and risperidone 2mg.
I have enjoyed dancing around my apartment and imitating Kimmy Schmidt to stay up. This means including the realization that rather than being upset about my early bedtime, I’m happy that my meds are working along with my habits. It feels nice to realize that my meds are working and now I can do a bunch of work in therapy, along with petting my cats and stuff.
Boy, I am tired. I hope this isn’t coming off as braggy, but it felt nice to realize that this is happening.
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self.bipolar
|
This is all too much. I feel like garbage because I’ve been surrounded by family and friends this year and I still just feel truly awful inside. I feel hollow and I want to die but I know I shouldn’t. I don’t know anymore.
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self.depression
|
Feeling good about tommorow I mean that figuratively, of course. I’ll get better someday, and that is something worth looking forward to!
I don’t need a psychologist, no mental ward in the hospital, I am *who I am,* and if anybody tries to change that, I’ll tell them to piss off or something.
Feeling good
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self.depression
|
Sometimes I swear your family and closest friends can be the most ungrateful people in the world I say this in the nicest way possible. I have always been the one to help my family out of situation after situation especially monetary ones and today got the biggest slap in the face imaginable. But maybe a recount to why I say this might be necessary
Back in 2016 I lost my apartment to a slum lord who thought tenant laws didnt apply to him. Lost 2 laptops and other small items when he unlocked my door and started showing the place, saying I had abandoned the property, while I was out of town for a week. So I moved into a friends where I paid all but the rent. He paid that $395 a month. I paid the electric bill, gas bill, internet, and food bill which accumulated to roughly around $130, a gas bill of $65, a cable/internet bill of nearly $130 a month, a food bill of nearly $200-300 a month depending on how much he ate. So on average I paid out nearly $625 a month in bills. Then in January of 2017 he decided to take my key while I was asleep and give it to his friend in case and I quote it "I ever get locked out" leaving me to sleep in my car for nearly 8 hours for about a week when I moved out.
Now during this time I was paying this money I was also shelling out nearly $100 every week in helping my parents as well. So in 6 months that was $2400 in a 6 month timespan.
My dad let me stay there and it was supposed to be temporary but my family kept "borrowing" money and I couldnt save anything at all. (some of it was my fault as well (impulse purchase)). Now on top of this I shelled out almost $5000 on top of the $2400 I had already shelled out over the previous year. So here I was sleeping on a "porch" effectively on the floor paying $416 a month for a floor to sleep on and electric. Here is the kicker though. They dont pay rent as they own the house and their taxes are like $800 a year. There electric bill is $120 at best, gas $65, water at $50 and internet (which I paid for and they said I couldnt use) $55 and their food bill of nearly $400 a month. I was also paying for my own food etc and then yesterday got into a spat with my mother who said "its not enough. What you say you have "contributed" to "helping" us is nowhere near enough". Their total expenditure for a month for 5 people is $695 (oh and their financial situation is none of my business at all...im giving them a huge chunk of money but its none of my business). So they pay $695 for 5 people and I was contributing nearly $416 a month to "help" them out. I was paying nearly 60% of their monthly bill for a floor to sleep on and was being told it "wasnt enough".
Sorry dont mean to sound like I am whining but does this sound off to anyone else? And the money I gave them I have never once asked for any of it back save one time in which I had $120 set aside for a purpose and got put on the spot to pay a gas bill. My dad paid me back and then my mother demanded I give it back as she "didnt like being short on money". So I have given them almost $7500 over the last 18 months. How should I handle this?
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self.offmychest
|
I've had pretty specific thoughts of killing myself in response to impulsive thoughts I have toward my baby. I don't know how much longer I can go on. Nearly every day I have extremely violent "fantasies" about ways I can harm or even kill my baby. I find myself thinking that my life would be better if he died somehow. I've been seeking help (outpatient therapy, as well as hospitalization and weekly counseling sessions), but I still have these thoughts. Lately I've just wanted to end it all in fear that I could do something horrible. This has literally been haunting my nightmares and basically I live every day disgusted with myself.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I just feel burned out all the time Hey everyone. For a couple months now, I've just felt burned out about everything I do. I went to see family before Christmas, and I could barely spend time with them because I just...couldn't. It's hard to describe.
I've talked to my mom about it, and her solution seems to be getting involved with a community somewhere. I really would if I didn't live forty minutes from the nearest town (I live deep on a lake in the sticks on a dirt road.) If I talk to her further about my issues, she just says "well maybe I should just take you to a mental hospital."
I can't even tell her my issues anymore because that's the response I always seem to get. I've talked to dad but he says I need to get more involved too, but it's hard for me to do when I'm burned out and can't force myself to leave the house.
I just hate feeling like this all the time. It's disrupted my sleep. I'm terrified of the semester starting Monday because my last semester almost made me fall asleep behind the wheel more than once. I can't even get a job because I find it hard to motivate myself to "pound the pavement."
I just want to know that I'm not the only one. I just need some reassuring and maybe somebody who actually understands the situation I'm in.
I'm sorry for dumping everything but I'm just getting sick of all of it.
|
self.depression
|
I'm not sure what to make of it anymore... [deleted]
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self.depression
|
End My single desire is for this bullshit life to end
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I have been pacing around my house and breaking dishes... Well, where should I start... My name is Teddy. I am from Cameroon. I am also 54 years old. I am an old man. The other day I went to the La Congus Valley Mall in North Congolous. My caretaker was with me. I will not say his name. First we went to the pretzel store to get a warm pretzel. Then I paid a visit to the store Hot Topic to look for a T-shirt with the Invader Zim character on it. That is my favorite cartoon. The gay boy at the Hot Topic said that there was no more. I politely asked him to check the back because sometimes you know they leave shirts in the back. He told me he would not do this. I was upset with this boy so I said something i knew i would regret. "You know, the reason you dress like you do is because you have low self confidence and your mother did not love you enough" is what i said. Then i couldnt help myself and i told him that his shoes were tacky. The gay boy was very upset and began to cry. My caretaker hit me with his elbow and said "Hey Teddy, it looks like the little gay boy needs his little baby bottle." I told my caretaker to shut up and apologize but when i turned around the boy was gone... i feel awful. I wish i could take back the whole trip to the mall. Needless to say i have fired my caretaker.
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self.depression
|
What am I suppose to do at this age? I feel this pressure to work so much but I won't because of school. I'm just 17 and I've recently found a really great girl, which of course is great because I used to never want to date, but now I'm more anxious than ever because I'm afraid she might leave or cheat on me. It's been a week of spending time and learning more about eachother, fun and all but I'm scared if she thinks I'll never bring her out on dates because I'm lazy.
School is basically already my job. If not for that, I would be looking all over for work. I wanna get a car and money to do things but my school comes before anything. I need to pass this.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Worried about what people will think of my coping skill [deleted]
|
self.Anxiety
|
Have any of you gotten in drug trouble during mania/hypomania [deleted]
|
self.bipolar
|
How long after a breakup will i stop crying myself to sleep? [deleted]
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self.depression
|
Everything is gonna be ok :) I just recently came to a conclusion that I have an anxiety problem just like my mom. I thought about the times when I was helpless and all I wanted to do was to scream for help and a person just magically came through and stop all the storm and craziness.
Whoever you are, I wish I could give you a hug now and tell you everything is okay. This world is a little crazy sometimes, but we can do it!
|
self.Anxiety
|
Relationship considerations. I'm (40M) in a relationship with someone who has an anxiety disorder (34F). Any advice? [deleted]
|
self.Anxiety
|
My anxiety is getting bad, and im losing too much weight. My anxiety flares up when I have nothing to do all day. These past few days haven't been bad, as I had work all day. I'd wake up, experience some anxiety early in the morning which would keep me up, go to work feeling a little crappy, and then once at work, it would get better since my mind was occupied. But now, I have 3 days off starting yesterday. The morning was alright aside from the usual anxiety upon waking up, but as the day wore on, with nothing to do, my anxiety got bad. I'm in a big band with a bunch of people, and we've been on vacation since mid December. Last night was the first night back. Usually band practice is my escape, but having the entire day off with nothing to do leading up to it, I got so anxious that half way there, I turned around and went back home. If I have the entire day off, being cooped up all day raises my anxiety, but it seems like going out in public has also been making me more anxious recently. My anxiety (and maybe the meds I'm on) have completely killed my appetite, which isn't good because I'm already extremely underweight. Before this anxiety episode (which has lasted around a month), I was around 118-120lbs, and today, after forcing myself to eat a muffin, I weighed myself, and I'm down to 106lbs. I'm a 29 year old man, and 5'7. I feel like I'm wasting away. I don't know how much more I can take of this. When I get really anxious, I tend to go back home to my mom's place. I think my apartment is alright, but when I'm panicky and anxious, I just need someone I'm comfortable around to be there. I've been on lexapro for 10 days, and though I know it can take a few weeks to work, I'm losing hope. If this medication doesn't work, I'm worried about what my options will be, because I can't live like this. I really need help.
|
self.Anxiety
|
What do you do when you feel control slipping? I started to wonder what others did when I had my recent down days (im on Lexapro so ups and downs here and there).
So, what do you do to cope/get through anxiety?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Job interview soon. I should feel good. I have a good chance going into it to get the role. But here I am absolutely depressed out of my fucking mind. LOL. [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
A teacher who's student is suffering from depression. Advice needed. Hello everyone,
I'm a teacher at a high school. A few months ago I found out one of my students in my class has been diagnosed with depression. I know that she's getting professional help through medication and therapy. Due to the illness, she has been missing out on classes for a few months now and according to our counsellor, she's been found to be inflicting self - harm as well.
She is such a lovely student and worked very hard before getting sick. I care about each of my students and I want to support them to my best abilities. However, since it's impossible for me to understand what she is going to it is difficult for me to know how I can best support her. I want her to know that she has support from her teachers and we do care. I want her to feel that the school is a safe environment for her.
Hence, I'm turning to you for help. What are some things I can say to her to make her more comfortable or just feel better? Depression is such a difficult issue to deal with and I want to be careful not to say the wrong things. If you would be in her position, what sort of things would have helped you cope with the illness in a school setting?
So far, I've told her that I care about her and that right now she should just focus on getting well. Once she is feeling better she can start working on the missed academics and I've been very clear that I will support her with that. I guess I'm just lost with what more I can do.
Thank you for reading this and please respond if you have any advice to give. Even the smallest comment or advice will probably help since I feel quite lost here.
|
self.depression
|
I consider myself a good person, with morals, ethics, good sense of humor, good hygiene, proactive, responsible, mature, and im not that bad looking. I am almost 30 and havent had any luck with women. Can i blame depression?
|
self.depression
|
I wish I was fucking dead. Preferably by knife to my wrists.
|
self.depression
|
I'll never be good enough for my parents. I want to start by saying that my parents are great in certain areas, for instance they've always kept a roof over my head and I never went a birthday or Christmas without a present. In terms of supporting me financially, they are amazing.
The problem is that they've always tried to change me. I've always had a massive interest in games, something my dad has never approved of. He'd always try to get me to do anything that wasn't games, despite the fact that every weekend I'd play in my local football team between ages 8-18 and would often play outside with my friends. None of that mattered, as soon as I picked up the controller I was "wasting my life in front of the screen".
For context, I'm now 20, in a full time job in a promising company, have been in a great relationship for 4 years, have a small circle of friends I see often and rarely ever drink or do any drugs and yet it still isn't enough.
For the first time in years, he walked into my room and asked about a game I was playing, I genuinely got so damn happy, finally he was taking an interest. I talked for a few minutes about what I was playing and showed him some cool stuff to do in the game, after I was done showing him he looked me dead in the eye and said "Wow, could you imagine if you put all your time and effort into something useful? You might have a degree by now" he then just stood up and shook his head as he walked out.
Needless to say that fucking crushed me. Instances similar to this usually happen every month or so.
My mum does this in a more passive aggressive way, she'll walk into my room multiple times a day and make comments like "On your games as usual I see" while sighing despite the fact that she's spent hundreds of hours and pounds on candy crush or some other bollocks.
As a result of this they seem to thing I'm anti social or socially incapable. In reality I'm just an introvert and they're both extroverts. They're constantly making comments about how I don't go out enough or don't have enough friends and how I'm "weird" or "just sad". This particular issue came to a head just now after they practically forced me to have a party for my 21st birthday despite the fact that I just want to see my friends for the night. Again I was called weird for not wanting to invite 50 people I don't care about to a party I don't fucking want and won't enjoy.
Other things they do that I can think of on the spot:
-Constantly criticise my language, whether it be how I pronounce things (god forbid I miss the occasional T or shorten a word) or if I let the odd swear word slip out - despite the fact that they both have awful pronunciation of words and swear fairly often too.
-Comment on what I eat all the time despite the fact that I'm a healthy weight and like how I look - This also extends to grabbing bits of fat on my body to "prove" I need to diet.
-Make a big deal out of any spots on my skin, often saying how bad they look (even though my parents both used to suffer from acne and this is likely where I got the trait).
-Say how pale I am even though I am incredibly fair skinned and my previous attempts to tan have resulted in severe burns.
-Often mock me for how "spoilt" I am, such as not knowing how to cook, regardless of the fact that my mum doesn't let me cook because only she cooks the meals and we have to eat as a family.
-Say how sad I look all the time and how I should smile more and how I'm putting them in a bad mood by not being happy 24/7.
I'm so sick of it all, I just want to be me, I'm a decent person and none of my habits or things I do are destructive to anyone and yet my parents constantly chip away at me to the point I hate them and I hate myself.
I want to end this on a note to all parents and all future parents: Embrace who your kids are. If they're good kids who do things you might not do, try to get to know them and understand why they do what they do and how you can join in. I watched a video with Terry Crews in the other day and it almost brought me to tears when he talked about learning about his son building a PC and wanting to do it too. That's the kind of dad I want to be for my future kids and I think everyone should aim for that too.
|
self.offmychest
|
Figures i cant pull the trigger Im such a pussy. The guilt i feel and the fact i really dont want to die keeps me from death. Called that stupid hotline told me to wait in the morning. Like me they're fucking useless.
edit i know i like to give you guys a hard time because im an asshole but at least this sub pretends to care
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
I'm too scared to ask people I know for help. [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
I draw to keep my mind in shack Hello
As the title says I draw to keep my mind in shack and get out my feelings and frustration. Shot said it's my outlet. So if you want to look at what I do you can check me out at Facebook and Instagram just search for frexdrawings.
Thanks for your time.
Oh yeah befor I forget I am a ADHD/bipolar person . So don't expect gratenes from me I'm a fuck up at keeping my life inorder .
Well that's that .
Edit: Not intended to be a shameless plug. Just saw a post that some one did posting their art.
|
self.bipolar
|
Random rambling about people and other stuff. The amount of people i dont fear has gone down from 15 to 8-9(not certain about one person as she is new). Its weird. I do my best to see that something in their eyes but it doesn't work. I try to look in their eyes even if it paralyzes me with fear. I don't want to be alone. Fuck it, i even fucking fear my every family member, im only taking it better because im used to hiding that fear while with them.
I might make this all "fall" early by accident, thanks to massive amounts of minor "mistakes". Like fuck, i have pretty much told my entire "murder plan" by getting carried away on a joke!
I'm starting to hate the music i listen to, but i dont really have a choice but to either start crying like a little cunt, say something major/dangerous by accident, FUCKING CUT RANDOMLY DURING THE DAY, or use music as a distraction.
My smaller but still influential plans are popping up more randomly with less planning required in the style of: *Gets the idea to cut my fucking finger open* "Yeah, i can do that"
*does it*
It seems that the event i had last week has almost fully removed my crush out of my head.
Feels incredibly empty now.
This just a slow walk to the end, isn't it?
"ignore the following sentences as they have future plans for a totally different topic"
He "feels" "self-centered"/"cocky" or atleast that's the best way i can word it. Not your type, as you are more "open" as a human. "Tuesday, 21st of November" "edit:5th of December 2017. There is something wrong with him, hes hiding something. I can see it in his eyes. In those dark eyes i normally avoid looking into. Its not going to end well."
Goodnight.
|
self.depression
|
Does anyone else get dizzy? I recently had an ent appointment and an mri, but both results came back normal. I guess that means it's my anxiety. My dizziness isn't very intense, it doesn't make me nauseous but at it's worst it feels like I'm going to fall over. Or sometimes when I take a step, it feels like the ground is closer to me than I thought, kind of like that feeling when you miss a step. My issue is that I have been feeling this dizziness almost 24/7. Does anyone else get this or something similar?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Does anyone else have periodic limb movement disorder? Crosspost from r/depression
|
self.depression
|
Do you ever feel like you spent 5 years in a bomb shelter, barely knowing how to communicate with people and how to live a normal life? i'm feeling that way more and more often lately... i know it's probably because i was socially isolated for 3 years,i'm scared to be honest, it feels like i will never be able to connect to another person romantically,
friends sometimes come and go i know that from experience, and i'm fine with that
even from early teen years i noticed that i'm an outsider, i can't fit in everywhere, i was a bit different from my friends then but we had same ambitions, yu-gi-oh cards, football, skating and other sports so we were all good friends because when ur kids some things don't matter and it's easy being friends, but during my high school years i started to wonder something, seeing people going in and out of relationships like it's nothing, i could never understand that shit, how do you connect to someone so easily, i must miss some part in my brain or something i just don't understand, i don't know how to speak to some people, especially girls, and older i get... it only gets fucking harder
i feel so dislocated from everyone, those couple of years after high school fly away so fast it's scary, at some point you just look around and wonder how the fuck are you 23 years old, where did all the time go?? why is everyone around me getting married, having decent jobs, normal families, moving on, moving away, buying cars, going on vacations and shit, how someone has sex multiple times a week? how can they afford to go to festivals all the time??
i feel so lost and lonely, i experienced nothing but dissatisfaction and hopelessness after high school, i worked on and off, mostly part time jobs and i understand how money can help you, you have more options but where i'm from jobs don't pay well and that's why people move away, i wish i had the balls,
i feel like an alien, sometimes its like i'm the spectator in this world, just observing other people do what they do, ambitions are fading, will to live is fading, i guess i'll be that one 35 year old creepy ass dude who works at retail that lives with a dog and 3 cats
|
self.depression
|
Should you/Do you seek reassurance from your partner when you are feeling anxious? Should I be trying to find ways of reassuring myself when I get hit by anxiety or is it ok to ask my boyfriend for reassurance? Sometimes I feel like I'm bothering him about trivial things that 'normal' people don't talk to other people about. Should I stop doing this and be self-sufficient in that way? Do you do this, and if so how do you help yourself feel better when you feel anxious?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Not fearing any consequences for our actions? "Not fearing any consequences or not fearing anything" is one of the feelings I have observed in myself. I am not able to study well, yet when test comes, I have no fear of the consequences of the failing tests, even though I am certainly failing it.
Same with my other habits, I eat like once in a day, which is an obligation I have put on myself to do at least once. Even then its very less than what any normal person of my age eats. I barely get 4-6 hours of sleep due to my schedule and not able to sleep quickly at night.
I know its not healthy, but aren't we supposed to do these things by fearing what will happen to ourselves? I think I have lost the fear of consequences of my actions.
Does anyone have this kind of experience?
|
self.depression
|
How do you deal with your anxiety when life gets out of control? I was diagnosed with GAD about 13 years ago, and my anxiety is pretty high even when everything else in my life is going alright. The past few months have been super stressful (cross-country move, money issues), and I can feel any small amount of control I had over my anxiety slipping away. How do you guys keep calm (or as calm as possible) when life is crapping on you? I’m disappointed in myself because I felt like I was finally starting to get my anxiety under control and now I’m back to square one.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Coping mechanisms Hi all,
Today my depression's worse than it's been in a long time. I'm just hoping to get some tips for coping mechanisms, advice, anything really. Normally I'm very good at this type of thing myself and I'm very self-aware. I'm just struggling to cope today. I'm hoping that someone could suggest their coping mechanisms, because right now I'm willing to try anything to get my head out of this dark place. I'm not in any immidiate danger and don't feel it necessary to consult a professional right now, but if I still feel like this in the near future I will. Thanks in advance!
|
self.depression
|
What are some signs (subtle or not), that you're becoming manic/hypomanic? Asking for a friend....
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self.bipolar
|
Yes I have anxiety but it comes from a growing up with a bipolar sister. I never know when her behavior is mental illness or manipulation. Either way I'll come out feeling guilty or gullible. I don't know when to blame anxiety and when it's just a crappy situation.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I feel like my medically treated anxiety at a young age has stunted my social growth [deleted]
|
self.Anxiety
|
Extremely close to leaving, someone please speak, I can't take it anymore Someone please who actually understands just voice call me, I'm so close to leaving, and I went back to cutting yesterday in order to stop myself from taking my life but it never stopped the emotions, and now they're happening again. I just need a voice before I go over the edge. I had a mental health assessment but it will be a while before they get back, mymedication has run out, my doctor is on holiday, I just need someone, please, please, I'm so desperate, I don't know how much longer i can even try anymore, I just need someone to speak to
|
self.depression
|
I've been considering the prospect that I may be mildly depressed. Can anyone with experience help? I am in my 4th year of college now and for the past 2 semesters I have failed or am failing all of my classes. I have no motivation to do any kind of school work or even go to class, i have become more and more socially anxious even around people I know. (The only exception really is people I know quite well). I have lost most self confidence as of now and spend most of my time on the couch (where I sleep even though I have a bed). I go multiple days without showering. All in all I just feel lazy and apathetic. Even going to my cakewalk of a job that I only work 15 hours a week is getting tough. I don't have any problems sleeping or eating (besides maybe overeating) which I know are also symptoms of depression. I know several people that suffer from mild or moderate depression and hate it when people use it as an excuse for their problems if they're not actually suffering from it. So I want to see if I actually am affected by it or if I just share a few symptoms and there is another problem. Especially before I let my friends and family know about it. I just need help before things start to spiral. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading the long post.
TL;DR: I think I may be experiencing some symptoms of depression and am wondering if I should be worried.
|
self.depression
|
Weird vision issue I don't know if I'm over reacting or what but sometimes when I'm browsing reddit I will see a sort of line connecting some words together it's always diagonally and it's not like an actual black line almost like my vision is blurred and only on one part of the text I'm reading. Idk if that makes any sense. It's only happened a few times and now I'm stressing about it and the fact that I'm stressing about it makes me think I'm going crazy and ugh I just idk has anyone had this happen to them?
|
self.Anxiety
|
CNN the big winner here This is an 🍎. Some people say it’s a 🍌 but then they slip and fall and realize they have had their head in the sand.
I wonder if Flynn, Kushner, Manafort and Whoever else will invoke the 5th with the proverbial “Fake News!” As the chaser.
|
self.offmychest
|
Loneliness, Self-destructiveness, Substance Abuse So I don't really like going out and hanging out with people a lot, but I think I've gotten out of hand. I'm a 19 year old guy and I graduated high school in 2015 and moved in the fall of that year. I've been high off of marijuana nearly every day since the end of 2014. I've suffered from anxiety and depression in the past and when I first tried weed, I thought it helped me, so I kept smoking. Next thing I know it's almost 3 years later and I'm worse off than ever.
Earlier I brought up when I graduated, that's because that's pretty much the last time I had friends I was around regularly. I had an amazing girlfriend, but she cheated on me before I moved and I ended up breaking up with her when I was drunk one night after moving. I haven't been able to get her off my mind since, we haven't talked in a while.. I miss her. It feels like every relationship I've had since has suffered because of this dumb hang-up I have and it certainly doesn't help that I'm always by myself. I've made a few acquaintances (that's all they really turn out to be because they already have their own friends and all), but nobody really talks to me and I tend to push people away sometimes. Like lately I haven't gotten on Facebook or turned on my phone or anything. Not like anyone really wants to message me anyway.
I deserve this, right? This is all my shitty decisions and actions towards others coming back at me, right? I'm ugly and disgusting and I see no reason anyone would want anything to do with me. It kind of makes sense why I'm so alone ig
|
self.depression
|
Bipolar Reddit, what's the best life lesson you've learned after coming out of a Psychosis? After my first one I basically had to reprogram my mind. I found that there was a lot of nonsense thoughts that I didn't even agree with. So I learned to be mindful of the ideas and thoughts I allow to circle around in my mind.
What's yours???
Edit: Apparently Bipolar people are wise as fuck.
|
self.bipolar
|
I ought to, But I Just Don't Care One of the biggest challenges I have ever faced with Major Depressive Disorder, is I know I need to do certain things, but I just don't care enough about myself to do them...
|
self.Anxiety
|
I feel like a failure to my parents I've been doing crappy in school and failing all my classes and it pisses me off and makes me feel like I'm a failure to my parents and that I'll never accomplish anything in life. but the same time its all my fault cause I just sit down and play guitar and games, sure I do all the chores and errands around my home and what my parents want me to do, but I'm just so lazy I don't find motivation to do my homework and succeed and just sit there and cry, thinking to myself that ill never make it. I've confronted my parents about this and had been told that as long as I try their proud of me, replying with that I haven't been they had just said to try anyway. I still can't do it, when I get to school and sit down in any class it all seems pointless and doesn't interest me and end up not caring up until work that I haven't done the whole year weighs over me. then when I do try I think some various school subjects are not worth anything, English counts as a credit and is required, I don't mind poems and crap or improvised ways to convey other subjects but to be required sounds stupid in itself. I'd rather be hanging around with my buddies and work for more and more already, but basically if you don't have a diploma you're fucked. I already know I'm failing my parents, I know I won't be successful, for now I'm looking at another year maybe 2 if I don't start now. So I guess Just try to pass as much as I can.
|
self.offmychest
|
Memory loss with BP Wondering if anyone can help me understand what's happening. I used to have a terrific memory in high school, I loved history and was really good in exams (mostly due to being able to recall a lot of information off the top of my head). These days, after years of untreated BP (I was only medicated this year) I have an embarrassing lack of basically my entire adult life. Some things come back to me every now and then, and I feel like my memory is coming back now I'm being treated. Anyone else experience this ?
|
self.bipolar
|
I was told my smile is offputting in the worst way. For some context, I asked a female friend to help me "fix" whatever was wrong with my tinder profile and we talked for a bit and it was fine and constructive until she told me that I needed to change my first picture. It's objectively the best picture I have of myself, but she tells me to pick a similar one without my smile. I'm of the opinion that my face without a smile is menacing on the level of Russian Mobster and tell her that, just to have her say "thinksandbeaches, I love ya, but you have a pedo smile."
My heart sank and I just left. I am a camp counselor. I work with kids day in and day out. To hear that have a "pedo smile" is incredibly distressing to me and I don't know what I do now. I don't have confidence in my smile. Wearing braces for years really limited how much of my teeth I'm willing to show, so the grin in my picture is as harmless and non-menacing as I can make it, but to hear that I look like a pedophile breaks my heart. I just feel unmotivated to do go to work, to interact with my friends, I just feel bad.
|
self.offmychest
|
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