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How do I help my SO who is finishing an outpatient program? My SO was recently diagnosed with major depression. They wanted to make him inpatient but settled for a partial hospitalization program, which is outpatient 5 days per week, all day. He is either going to be discharged this week or next week and go to just seeing a therapist plus our GP to manage meds. He seems scared about being done, and I was looking for advice on how to help make the transition back to life easier. He is unemployed, and I work overnight 3 to 4 shifts (12 hours) a week. I try to spend time with him, but it can be tough because I'm usually tired and dealing with mild depression and chronic headaches myself! I ordered a couple of books/workbooks he can continue learning his coping skills with, but I'm wondering what else. What would you all like for someone to do to help you with your depression? Has anyone gone through intensive programs like his, and if so, what was the "other side" like? Sorry this is long!
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self.depression
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Skipping a work meeting because I just feel worse after [deleted]
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self.depression
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Of all the ridiculous crap, I'm getting therapy because my gender disappointment from my baby is out of control. I wanted a boy from the start, and the 8 week scan suggested boy going by Ramzi. I had heard that Ramzi was really accurate and on this site it seems like Ramzi is usually correct!
I uploaded my ultrasound image and of course had a chorus of people saying boy. I was so happy. I'd say I was 95% sure I was having a boy.
Then came the 12 week scan. The tech didn't want to try to guess gender that early, but we got a good nub shot and so I put that online. I'm not very good at nub shots, but it looked feminine to me. I told myself I'm bad at nub shots, so I just waited to see what others replied.
Female. Female. Female. Everyone said female. I knew 12 weeks was early to guess that with any certainty, but I figured it was right. I had plenty of time to get used to the disappointment by week 20 for the anatomy scan, where it was confirmed. I managed to hide my sadness from the tech, I think.
The rest of the pregnancy I was disappointed and angry, and still am even 5 months after birth. I never stopped being glad she was healthy, but I had a had a hard time mustering up much joy. I mostly faked it. I love her, but I don't bond with her too well. When I see other mothers out there with baby boys I have to look away.
For those 4 weeks I felt what it was like to be excited for your pregnancy. It made the rest of it that much harder.
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self.offmychest
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THOU SHALT NOT FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR MEDICATION - a reminder i must not not take my medication. i ran out of it 3 weeks ago or so, and i didnt bother to get me a new pack.
3 weeks later:
i am almost completely ruining my school degree, i have riled up everyone against me, social paranoia is over 9000, constant anger, unfounded accusations against people, bouts of arrogance to be replaced by deep deep volatile sadness, loneliness, despair.
once more i realised - i am mentally ill. these pills are not antibiotics to a temporary flu which you stop taking once it's passed.
once more i realised - the evil things dont come back to you consciously as in "oh, i am seeing things again". no. theyre just....nice little thoughts and emotions, which seem ever so right.
please, do not fuck around with what the good doctor prescribes you. unless you are up for a disastrous ride.
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self.bipolar
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Can anyone please talk me down from my panic As the title suggests, I really need help rationalizing right now from someone who is much calmer than I. I have the feeling that someone hacked into my cellphone (it wasn't jailbroken or nobody had access to it besides me) because I accidentally clicked on a sketchy hyperlink and then quickly closed it. I've reset my phone multiple times and changed every password to every possible thing that I used it for, but now I'm paranoid to use it and I'm afraid to put any of my information back on it out of fear that someone may still be in it. I feel incredibly stupid, anxious, and bummed out, and I feel yet again that this is a sign the universe is trying to put me in my place...
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self.Anxiety
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Just wanted to tell this anonymously I was sent to prison for a crime I did not commit. I was told to plead guilty, I trusted my brief, I don't know what went on but I was sent to prison.
I am autistic.
I had a breakdown while inside, the prison staff were really nice and helped the best they could, and since then, every single morning I think about suicide for at least an hour. My character has been ruined and I have nothing to live for, I can't get a job - I've applied for over 600 jobs and no one returns my application.
I'm trying to train as a grafter, but can't afford the courses. It's a complete spiral. I am utterly worthless.
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self.SuicideWatch
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I have the most incompetent professor ever, and I hate it. [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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Don’t you realize we do everything we really wanted and thought when we are manic ? Opposite when we are depressed , we do the things we don’t want to do and have to think about the things we don’t want to think about.
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self.bipolar
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When two BP2 people date and it all goes wrong. Need ladies help about her wellbeing. I met a girl on Tinder a week ago after getting out of a LTR about a month and a half ago. I needed a rebound but was open for looking into a relationship.
When she told me about her medical problems, I knew exactly what she was talking about and we realized we both have BP2. Great, right? Now we have someone we can relate to!
She was manic, came over, we hooked up and talked. I realized she doesn't look very similar to her photos (normal for tinder I guess) and tbh I wasn't extremely attracted to her, but wanted to have a good time and enjoyed her presence. Keep in mind, we matched at like 8pm and she was at my place by 11:30pm. That's how fast.
Then the next day I went to her place, then she came to mine the next night. Lots of sex, drugs, alcohol, just lots of manic and impulsive fun. Today, I realized she and I are a very bad combo (mania + mania = awful) for my mental health and for what I need right now (stability to finish my last year of school).
I told her exactly that (that I need space and to slow down for my mental health and school). She freaked out, called me, said I'm her only support system (I reminded her that I met her 5-6 days ago...). I calmed her down, I was honest and straightforward and she just kept dumping emotional baggage and insecurities and defensive statements at me. I continued my best to calm her down and remind her that we just met and to take it slow.
She really is getting beat up about this and already sent me an aggressive text or two about if I "realize what I've done" and dramatic things... She's prescribed benzos (which scare me, but if she's prescribed them for panic attacks then I should respect that, she smokes a shit ton of weed though) and I just feel like she's really unstable and unpredictable. I don't want her to take a lot or do something extreme, but I really don't need this is my life. I literally just met her and have been as healthy, wholesome, and honest with her as I can but she is acting like we're dating or something.
It's very very very clear she has a lot of emotional baggage and self esteem issues and I don't know how to handle that. She literally called me crying one night when I told her I am not looking for anything exclusive or a relationship right now.
When I try to reason with her and explain myself in a healthy way, she calls me a player and accuses me of using her for sex and ridiculous things. I've had to defend myself from that like 4 times already.
110% not interested in her, how do I move on? I don't want to ghost her and destroy her emotionally.
**tl;dr** - Two bipolar people meet on tinder. We bond over our illness, but she clearly is attached to me after dating me only 3 times and knowing me for a week. Calls me crying and sends aggressive texts, idk what to do.
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self.bipolar
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Tomorrow, I get to decide whether or not to go into an inpatient program. I cannot cope with work. I can’t even cope with getting up and taking a shower. Or getting up to eat. Sometimes I chose starving over buying/making food because it takes energy I don’t have. *Vitality* I don’t have.
My job is soul-sucking and my manager is so skeptical and passive aggressive towards my building anxiety at work. Which just makes a cycle. However, she (very reluctantly) gave me tomorrow off to “seek help”. I have some “mental health resources” through my work, but I don’t know how good it is.
Maybe I should skip the whole ordeal and just self-admit myself? My bipolar swings are out of control and go from fine to manically overspending to quietly contemplating suicide. I vomited this morning minutes before having to leave for work. The entire morning was a blur. I felt so alone and helpless. Like, *how could no one else notice that I can hardly breathe? Or how I look like a dead shell?* I fell into a psychosis-like daze at my dear in front of all my coworkers and it was like everyone ignored it.
I’m so confused and don’t know what to do. I wish I was dead. But st the same time, o feel like I’m “not bad enough” for a hospital… But the option of suicide blindsides me so often I live in panic. And if I go on leave and admit myself, what happens to my apartment? Do I lose everything?
If I admit myself into a psychiatric hospital, will I lose *everything?*
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self.SuicideWatch
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My Story, And Why I'm Depressed. Many people see depression as a selfish. Maybe if you hear my short story you will understand my situation more and why I'm thinking about doing it. My name is William and I have been depressed for many years now. I have been separated from family and friends because of a stupid incident. One day after school when I was just trying to play with my friends some guys came up and started being very aggressive to me when all I was doing was sitting at the courts with my friends. They didn’t realise I did martial arts and I ended up hurting them allot.. My mum was terrified by the whole experience and ended up sending me to live with my grandparents. Up until this point I had been in and out of hospital a few times but this was enough for her…. I begged her day after day not to send me but she refused to listen. She had bought me a ticket and kissed me goodbye like I was nothing. The time I was traveling to by grandparents’ house I considered suicide many times. I just put my earphones in and turned myself off completely. She paid for a very expensive flight for me it was business class. This made me even more angry as she could afford to get rid of me but hadn’t taken me on a holiday in years. As I was headed to my grandparents I remembered how posh they were and how they will try and change who I am. As I got out of the airport they hadn’t even bothered to collect me. I whistled for a cab and it looked very dodgy. At this point I was worried that even my grandparents didn’t want me. I was looking forward to getting to a bed so I just went with it. What happened next you will not believe. This just destroyed me as a person. The house was massive. I had never been to my grandparents’ house but they had visited us. Is this the type of place they really want to send this cool cat? I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To settle my throne as the Prince of Bel Air. I am writing this part so that you don’t instantly read the bottom line and spoil my fun.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Don't you just hate it when people tell you they understand [deleted]
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self.depression
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I have enough pills to od and some razors to slit my wrists. I think it's time I left I tried to get over my best friend abandoning me. I went off to college the other side of the country I made new friends but I just can't shake this thing. And I can't live a life alone like this. I think it's time I ended it
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self.SuicideWatch
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I embarrassed myself in front of the whole class today and it’s making everything feel like it’s falling apart I’m a music major and sometimes we have to perform in front of the class. Today was test day and I did so fucking awful. He had to keep stopping me because I was missing notes left and right, nobody did as bad as I did. And then he said I should see him after class because I need help.
The one thing I’m proud of is I held it together until I got to the bathroom to have an attack and completely break down.
But seriously, fuck this. I feel like such a failure and a waste of space. Why do I have to feel like this all the time, agh.
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self.Anxiety
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What am I worth Feeling like self harming or worse. I feel unloved, important, like I'm an extra smiling in the background in everyones life. I know my thoughts and desires to hurt/end myself are purely selfish, i don't want to but at the same time i feel i should. I just want to know someone cares, that someone has seen my pain amd wishes to see me overcome. I want to be a winner facing the impossible in someones eyes but my mind keeps telling me I can never be that.
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self.SuicideWatch
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My dad just told me that if I killed myself he’d feel no guilt [deleted]
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self.depression
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I can't picture a future for myself. Just like the title says, I can't picture my future. I can get maybe a vague idea of something I would like to do one day, but that's it and honestly nothing I picture seems like it could really happen. It's just wishful thinking. I thought once I started college again I would have more direction in my life, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Does anyone else feel this way? How can I have the strength to go on day to day without actually working towards a goal? I don't know how long I can keep this up.
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self.depression
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Small Victory Saturday 9.9.17 (complete with a personal huge victory) Whether your victory was surviving or breaking a world record, you accomplished something this week? What was it? Let's celebrate our victories together =)
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self.bipolar
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Wife nearly died a year ago. Have had trouble being happy or feeling alive since. [deleted]
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self.depression
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My life is sucking more everyday. I wish it would get better I hate my life. I wish I could just fall asleep and not wake up. My job has been down hill. A little over a month ago, my job was removed and I was placed in a new role with half the job roles as the last. I thought that was the worst of it. Now my new job is being eliminated and I will be placed in a role with a horrible schedule. I just started seeing a guy, and our schedule was aligned really well, we had the same days off each week, and that will stop in 2 weeks. I don’t see that causing him to lose interest in me, but I think it could put a strain. I just wish I could quit, but I can’t lose my pay, losing my job while screw me and my family(I pay my moms mortgage so without my job, me and Mom, and my brother and sister would be homeless. When this first started to happen, I wish I would have followed thru on ordering Nembutal. That would solve my issues and I could just never wake up from that
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self.SuicideWatch
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I've had enough.. Okay so this is the fifth time that I'm going to be typing this up. Honestly it's pissing me off trying to explain how I feel even though it's pretty simple. I'm suicidal, my parents couldn't give two shits about me and it's gotten to the point of which I've written my suicide note. All it says on it is "I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough." I'm just waiting for them both to be out of the house just so that I can avoid any confrontations with them. I know of a place where I can kill myself where it's pretty secluded so even in death I'll be out of everyone's way.
Probably a little late to add this but I'm 19 turning 20 in just over 2 weeks. Lived in the shadow of my two sisters for what? 12/13 years now. And well, I've had enough of it. Of feeling worthless all the time, just like my piece of shit father reminds me every day. I'll never be successful like my sisters... I'm a failure.
Probably someone will say, "but you've still got the rest of your life ahead of you." Personally, I don't want to carry on anymore. Funnily enough I haven't spoken verbally for nearly a year now. It's like I've forgotten how to talk haha or maybe I'm just terrified to do so.
I've only posted I think two other times on this feed. And this'll probably be the last. I'm just tired of being hurt, feeling drained everyday. I feel like someone has their hand to the base of my neck choking me. I don't want to live like this anymore... I don't want to live anymore.
I'm sorry if anyone took time out of their day to read some loser's post.
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self.depression
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Would it be okay to ask my psychiatrist for a prescription? So I have been diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, and Depression which all manifest themselves with some pretty strong GAD-type symptoms. I have the occasional anxiety attack that makes things very hard to deal with, and occasionally my ADHD med (focalin) exacerbates these problems. Would it be odd/out of the question for me to ask for a small (maybe ~30 .5mg pills of clonazepam or 30 .25mg pills of alprazolam) for such situations where this anxiety becomes a lot to handle? The closest thing I have to an anxiety reducer is prozac, but it doesn't help in these intense situations. I was just wondering if you guys have had any experience "requesting" a prescription so to speak. I'm worried he'll be reluctant as it is simply treating the symptoms and not the cause, or that it might seem I want them for recreational purposes.
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self.Anxiety
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It bothers me that people my age die from illnesses [20 years old] [deleted]
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self.Anxiety
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Do you ever kind of feel like you’re a celebrity when you’re out in public, like the world is your oyster?
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self.bipolar
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SO and best friend (both my housemates) had a fight today. I have no intention of taking sides, because it seems to me they're both in the wrong. Neither wants nor expects me to either. The fight started over something stupid and has continued over stupid things. It's brought to a head a tension that had been building for some time. It's tense for me because I'm in the middle whether they intend it or not, and I have been putting out fires on both sides for months. For whatever reason they can't be adults and talk it out, and it's driving me batty. I'm already struggling with depression and anxiety and this does not help. I just want them to sort their issues out so we can live in peace.
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self.offmychest
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Haven't been here in a while I am feeling lonely, bored, indecisive and depressed. I can't focus on anything. I just want to sleep or not exist. I can't bring myself to be social, even if just online voice chatting or typing. I don't want to be in this world. I hate what has become of the world or even what I have come to realize about this world. I can't stand that I live in USA and the state of general bullshit here. I have applied for disability and have a hearing at the end of the month and I am so paranoid that I am going to be denied. I don't know what I can do if I am denied. I have constant thoughts of guilt and embarrassment from my past, they plague my thoughts way too often. I am losing my will to eat, to shower, to even sit up.
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self.depression
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A family member killed herself and I don't feel anything except envy. [deleted]
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self.depression
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I miss the days when everything was new and exciting Now everything is empty and boring..
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self.offmychest
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Really disappointed when I don't take the opportunities to kill myself I get the perfect window of time to do it, but for some reason end up distracting or questioning myself until I'm out of time. Then when it sinks in that I've missed another perfect opportunity, I'm hopelessly disappointed that I didn't take it.
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self.SuicideWatch
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My dad died. I'm not sad about it. My dad died a month ago from a broken neck. All my childhood, (when he was around, of course,) my father was an emotionally and physically abusive, selfish, and self centered lying jerk who got off especially on making me upset or angry. He did it so often, my pokerface is legendary. I could never let him know he upset me or the needling would get worse. Once I graduated college in the late 90s, I peaced out. I talked to my dad about three-four times a year for about twenty years.
Three months before he died, he called me crying about how he knew he was a shit dad. He wanted to make it up to me. I listened while drumming my fingers. I've heard that sad "I can change" song my whole life. Nothing, and I mean nothing ever changed after his Oscar worthy performances.
I have been in therapy for twenty years. Basically, I've cried all the tears I'm going to cry about how he's treated me. When he was in the hospital, every time we talked on the phone which was every other day when he was coherent, he'd say "I love you". I couldn't bring myself to say "I love you too" It most certainly doesn't accurately capture how I feel about him. In all honestly, I feel a little bad about not saying "I love you" back--but it's too late now.
My dad isn't the only one I didn't get sad about. My grandfather (his father) was a mean old man made worse by dementia. I haven't shed a tear in eight years because he was an awful waste of space type person too. I'd dance on his grave if he wasn't buried in a crypt.
I went to my pdoc two days ago and he said he was concerned I am angry, but I haven't mourned or cried since my dad died a month ago. He claimed that a month was a bit long to not have felt anything. I'd be sad not about my dad, he said, but sad about the father-daughter relationship we could have had. This could lead me getting emotional, which might could catch me off guard and my grief could potentially hit hard.
As it stands, I'm "meh". I haven't told anyone except close friends and my relatives he's dead. I went to his memorial and didn't feel a thing. I felt bad when my mom (wife 1/3), brother and niece started to cry at his memorial. My dad got religion ten years ago (most probably for the benefit of wife 3/3). He became a minister of a congregation and has twice as much friends on Facebook as I do. At the eulogy, I imagined knocking the mike out of the hand of the pastor who was eulogizing him and break down how my dad REALLY was for the benefit of the congregants who were buying the "how great a man he was" schtick.
I still don't feel grief stricken. It kind of sucks because my dad should have been a harbor in the storm of life for me. He should have been someone who was cherished and missed, but he didn't create a relationship with me that would warrant that. I was more broken up about the death of my high school English teacher than my own dad.
And that's that.
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self.offmychest
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Anyone else go to their Psychiatrist and melt down after? I had my Psychiatrist apt the other day and I just felt like he wasn’t even listening to me and what I had to say. He just seems like he could care less. I tried to tell him how I have been feeling lately and the meds I take just make me feel weird and I’ve been taking them for 7 months now. I kept giving it time and I just feel like giving up on it. After my apt I got so upset and had to drive away from the drs office and park somewhere and call my Mom. I broke down into tears. I just felt angry and sad all at once. What’s the point of paying a dr that doesn’t listen? Going to go to my family dr to find someone else. Maybe I am being dramatic but I feel like I’ve given it awhile to work. I can work with drs pretty well, but when they don’t listen to me it starts driving me nuts. And he gives me 15 minutes each apt and that’s not enough time for me to tell him what all is even going on. It’s hard enough with my anxiety too.... just because I am bipolar doesn’t mean I can’t be trusted with everything I say...he makes me feel like my feeling are stupid. I literally wrote down one apt what all I was feeling and showed him and he just looked at me and said that’s silly to even think. Well duh but I can’t just control how I am feeling. I wish it were that simple 😕
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self.bipolar
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Hello I have GAD and I was wondering if anyone feels more comfortable in there panicked or anxious state then there normal healthy state?
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self.Anxiety
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Almost 3 year relationship, got dumped, and emotionally cheated on After nearly 3 years I got dumped. At first I thought he broke up with me in November, but we were able to get through it.
Last week he broke up with me and said we could still be friends and all the generic “It’s not you, it’s me.” BS
It’s all a lie because he admitted he had a crush on this girl, and ever since we have broken up officially, all he’s done is be with her. (Not to mention she’s one of my closest friends)
For almost a year he had a huge crush on me and didn’t tell me until a few months later, where we started to develop this relationship.
He was the one that told me I had a reason to live because I was his world. I didn’t believe him for such a long time, but I went with his lies because I stopped being hard-hearted.
And now all I know is that I am forever and always second choice. This will never fail to happen no matter how great or deep of a relationship/friendship I have with anyone.
I attempted running away a while ago, but now I want to just shoot myself and be done with all of this. I only have one person (not him) that I know would be deeply hurt by this, and it is stopping me somewhat. Yet, this growing pain is too much to handle and I can’t take it anymore.
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self.SuicideWatch
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Im pretty sure my anxiety ruined my marriage Been married 15 years, kids, the whole thing.
I'm pretty sure I had anxiety most of my life but really came out when we had kids. I saw a doctor and was put on meds.
This helped a lot but I didn't realize it made me numb and not care about things. We started seeing a marriage counselor and realized I needed to change. Was switched to Prozac which was significantly better.
I started working on myself and trying to be the best husband and father. We had always had a dead bedroom after kids but I was accepting it and hoping it would get better. I know there is a sub for this.
Now we are splitting up and more than likely getting a divorce. I didn't want this but I understand. Something is missing.
If I didn't have anxiety would it have all worked out? Is it more Complicated? F-ing anxiety. Thanks for reading.
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self.Anxiety
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r/depression What do you do on your numb days? It's 9pm and today I did absolutely nothing. Not like I watched Netflix and played games. I lay in bed looking at the ceiling all fucking day. Didn't eat, tried to watch a show but couldn't get more than a few minutes in. I'm not sad or crying or anxious I'm just numb. No emotions, no drive to even exist, none of the usual self loathing and suicidal thoughts. This happens a lot usually after I have an unusually good day.
How do you get out of this state and do something.. Anything.
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self.depression
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/r/Anxiety Community Map **An Update to the r/Anxiety - Community Google Map of Subscribers!**
Interested in adding yourself to the map? Awesome! Now we have a nifty form you can fill out, and we'll let you know when you're added.
#[Click Here To Add Yourself](https://goo.gl/forms/Kx9Rbg6oPIyfKc3e2)
---
If you're hesitant about using the form, you can still message [me](http://www.reddit.com/user/ri0tnrrd) with the following information:
* Username
* City/state/zip/country
* Color/shape you want your icon to be.
And don't fret - your icon will be placed **randomly in the city you live in, not at your exact address.**
Also - if you don't want your username attached but still would like on the map feel free to message me and you can either put your diagnosis, or we can come up with something else. I want everyone to feel comfortable so by all means PM me and I'm sure we can figure it out :)
---
The following info is **OPTIONAL**:
* Greeting/General Info
* Personal URL (do not post companies or private information)
* Diagnosis or Anxiety Related Issues
* Interests/Hobbies
---
**Here is the [Map Link](https://goo.gl/sA8XNJ) take a look**
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self.Anxiety
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What can I do when my doctor and therapist can no longer help What if the pills and therapy don’t work. And my doctor can no longer help what can be done.
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self.depression
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If you could pick one thing to never be anxious about ever again, what would it be and why?
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self.Anxiety
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I love my life, and I'm sick of other people shitting on it [deleted]
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self.offmychest
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Anyone feel that work/finances are the root cause of their depression? I believe if I was financially stable "rich" for life, I'd have little reason to worry about anything. Is that just me?
Also feel like it's a self fulfilling prophecy in that, my parents also have been worried about their finances for long, and the way I see it, many many people over several generations are living this narrative of working the 9-5 and still being worried about money and their job etc. Why is that?
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self.depression
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my depression is literally driving me insane I have been depressed for a year now, i have asked tons of people online, i have asked my parents, and none seem to want to help me and the ones that do cant help me. Being depressed and having that unnatended for a year is making me so desperate that i am starting to show signs of social anxiety disorder, schizophrenia, uncontrollable anger, uncontrollable crying, sociopathy, wanting to kill myself and hurting myself and hating god and my religion. I JUST WANT TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF my fucking life is a mess and if i keep going on unnatended i think i will have permanent
fucking brain damage eventually.
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self.depression
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Gone too far, too young. Learn from my mistakes Not entirely sure if this would be the right place to post this but fuck it. I have nothing else left to lose anymore.
20. Second year in college. More than likely subject to dismissal. Lived in many places but never learned to be independent. Got into a world class uni but didn't learn how to adjust to it. Parents were paying so I didn't appreciate the value of money. Got into wrong crowd, smoked weed my entire freshman year (Just to fit in, I never had any health concerns). Party > sleep > study. Never got out of that high school mentality. Second year started but I didn't change my habits. Memory is fried. Now I'm here looking back at where my life would have gone and where it is now. I'm living with parents again (only thing I have left), haven't gone to work in 2 months, im sure they fired me already (don't even care anymore), academics went straight to gutter. I'm pretty directionless. Joining the army was my last resort but now i'm sure I blew that up too because of too much weed. Been attending chemical dependency meetings, where im around 35-45 year old alcoholics and tweakers. Not fun. I havent done anything in last 2 months but smoke weed and chill. Family is in shreds because of what I've done. We aren't rich, not by any means. I fucked up. I am a living example of how overdoing anything can be problematic. Its too late to start over and I'm probably just going to renounce everything and go live in the hills or something. Don't be like me. And don't tell me hang in there or some shit like that because that's all I can say to myself. Do good, stay in school. Take my story as an inspiration. You truly never know what you actually have until its gone, my health and future in my case.
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self.offmychest
|
Need some help Stats test, first time getting a panic attack. Never happened before. I don't know how or why it happened, I got up to run to get some air and I just collapsed, the proffs took me down in front of the lecture hall to sit, meanwhile 500+ are writing their exams. Meanwhile I'm struggling to breathe, not knowing what to think, freaking about how there are hundreds of people starring at me having a full blown panic attack. And I'm just there "dying" . Disappointented in my self because I just failed the test, and thus the course which I studied weeks for which now has a Domino effect of maybe getting kicked out of my program ( because I can't keep the minimum avrg ), faculty said there's nothing they can do, since I was present. I am not even sure what to get mad at. I just feel so embarrassed, I can't even tell my friends or parents what happened. I was trying so hard not to cry on the way home, IV never felt like this and it totally fucked me up if I'm being honest, and now my anxiety levels are thru the roof and I am scared it's going to happen again for my finals, and to make things worse, I can't be touched. If someone physically touches me, I just get this intense anxiety, I'm not sure how to even explain it. I told my doctor but she just shrugged it off because apparently I'm a guy and I'm just being "emotional" and totally disregarded everything else.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I just want to talk to someone right now Im not suicidal but I am sad and I dont like being that friend that always talks about their problems or about sad things.
|
self.depression
|
downhill really fast Honestly, my day took a really sudden downturn. I'm sharing a hotel room with people and hiding in the closet crying. This cannot be normal.
|
self.depression
|
It's Getting Worse I finally got help after many years of struggle, went to a doctor and then a psychologist to be diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Also on meds.
But I feel nothing, not getting better and I've started lying. I can't get out of bed in the morning and I make up excuses why I can't make it to some event I'm committed to.
At this point, I've lied to my workplace, my closest friends, my family, and every possible group I had some responsibility to. I didn't even have this habit before, but now I do, and I don't know why.
Why is it getting worse, why do I have so much trouble getting out of bed in the morning when I didn't have this problem before. And I don't think its the meds because I've been on them for over a month now.
My suicidal thoughts are popping up more now, but I don't know. I want to live, but I don't know how. I also want to die, but I don't know how. I know nothing. I'm empty.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
To the person who hit me in the crosswalk today: thank you Thank you for stopping, for calling an ambulance and for talking to the police. If you hit me even a little faster, I'd be dead right now. You could have driven away and I would never know who hit me.
But you stayed, even if you were panicking more than me when I was screaming about how I couldn't breathe, when I started coughing up blood, when I asked you to call my parents.
I honestly thought I was going to die in a puddle at a strip mall, but you saved me.
|
self.offmychest
|
Why I have been going to a counsellor for a year now. Been on meds for 6 weeks. I know I can't expect magic results but life just seems to be getting worse and I am not finding it worth living. Why is this happening to me???
|
self.depression
|
I feel like everyone is more successful than me and I'm a failure I dropped out of college in 2014 I keep going back but I get really depressed.. I started in 2011... Ive been in school on and off for 7 years and I still dont have a degree! It so discouraging when I see all these people I went to school graduate and get good jobs but im starting all over and in a new major .. I have no social life anymore.. I hate having to live with my dad hes a drug addict and the house is disgusting , I don't even have a car..I hate my job..Im slowly gaining weight and getting more and more ugly.. I make a list of things I need to do and struggle to get anything done..It took me forever to make an appointment with a psychiatrist and get anti-depressants but I couldn't even get those..
|
self.depression
|
There’s other girls that like me and would go out with me in a heartbeat, but your the only one I actually want to be with. I’ve got roughly 5 girls that want to get with me, want to take them out on dates, but your the only one I genuinely want. Your cute, but like a wholesome cute ya know? Your so smart, even though you’ll always deny it (#12 out of 257 wtf your a genius), your so motivated, the kind of girl I could bring home to mom and I know she’d love you, and you’ve gone through so much tough shit in your life, and come out smiling still. It’s like getting hit in the heart with a sledgehammer every single time I’m left on read.
You’re so different than any other girl I’ve met, and that’s what’s won me over. But of course, the one that I see a future doesn’t see one in me. So now I’m just stuck, aimlessly talking to girls that don’t interest with hope in my heart that you’ll answer. Fuck.
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self.offmychest
|
I want to end it all, my life is in fucking shambles. I don't care enough to rewrite a whole paragraph for reddit. I have no motivation. Here's what I sent a close friend:
Dude I honestly just wanna kill myself. Maybe I'm in a really bad state of mind, but honestly, I don't see the point in living anymore
I know I can get over the situation with my dad, and I know that I will get stronger. But I've said this multiple times before these past 2 years have been hell, and, every time I've gotten over 1 phase of depression, some new tragedy happens in my life. With no exaggeration in only 2 years I've faced over 11 tragedies in my life, I've been suicidal before, and kelpt it to myself, I'm not keeping it to myself now because I'm really on edge
I'm not doing this for attention or for you to feel bad for me. Honestly, I just don't know what else to do. I feel like once my dad dies, even if I become happy again, some new crazy and even bigger tragedy will happen, 11 times I've felt depressed this year thinking EACH TIME "This is the worst it's ever been I don't think it can get worse" and all 11 times I've been proven wrong, I'm sick of it. I just wanna die dude, I'm sick of all of this pain. I don't care what my family or friends think. If anyone truly loved me they'd understand that death is the only thing to stop this pain
The worst part is, I have no one to turn to, I feel like no one truly understands how much fucking pain I'm in
I don't know why I'm turning to you, I don't know what you can say, I don't even really want you to say anything. If you want to know where my mind is right now, this is where, if you want to know why I'm not hitting deadlines, it's because I don't even wanna live
To give some context on my life:
>19
>Go to college that makes me miserable
>Father has stage 4 cancer and is dying
>Don't ever feel happy
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Un-diagnosed with Bipolar, but on same meds. What happens to me now? [deleted]
|
self.bipolar
|
Fuck antidepressants They haven't worked for me longer than a month at a time for the past 7 years I've been taking them. I've been on I don't know how many brands on various strengths, nothing. The doctors don't seem to care about finding out why, they just want to pump me full of happy pills and ring my wallet dry. According to one doctor, I have chronic depression. According to another, it's my anxiety causing all this.
And the thoughts. My head never stops going. The only way I can get to sleep is to drink. The only thing preventing me from dowing a bunch of Xanax before bed is the risk of random drug testing at my job. And not because I want to kill myself, but because I don't know if tonight is the night I'll fall asleep at a reasonable time or if I'll stay up super late.
My head just never shuts up. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!
It's a battle I'm tired of fighting. Everyone keeps pushing me to "give it all" I've got, but I already have. I don't want to die, but if I waste away in bed after days of not eating or drinking, then it is what it is. Stop pushing me to fight a battle you know nothing about. Maybe I was strong enough to hold this burden, but my muscles are tired and my legs are shaking.
I'm tired. I'm so, so tired.
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self.offmychest
|
I just ended a somewhat health relationship. I had been with this girl for a few months, it was going really well. She didnt really ever have time, and this tore her up. She felt like shit when she was too busy to see me. She was really interested in me, and I loved her, and she loved me. I did. But she chose to isolate her feelings, if she was upset or something her solace would be being alone. And this tore me up, I knew she loved me and wanted to live with me, but if she couldnt trust me with her emotions like that.... I just couldnt. I went to her work, spoke my peace, and texting ensued after that... but she told me I did nothing wrong. That I was perfect...
I dont know anymore. I feel like I did the right thing, but I am just not sure anymore. I couldnt keep going forward with the idea that she couldnt trust me when she was in a moment of weakness. Thats what relationships are about. Trust.
|
self.offmychest
|
I want to live but I don't know if I can. [deleted]
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self.offmychest
|
I can finally see it now. (This is approx 5 months ago)
Had been dating this girl in an on/off type a relationship for about 6 years - (last 1 1/2 years was a steady relationship).
When we were together she meant the world to me.
But now I can see how much she have actually ruined for me.
I wasn’t with any of my friends because she didn’t like them. I wasn’t anywhere but at home, because of that. I was often in front of the pc, because I needed to talk to someone, but she was always pissed if I didn’t want to close to pc ASAP if she wanted to watch a movie or something. It was a whole other story if I asked her to stay at home so we could do something together.
The last ~3 months together she was home maybe 3 whole weekends. She was always either at her friends place, out drinking or something, never asked me to join her or anything. I was always at home, waiting for her to call me, for me to pick her up.
At a point I had had enough, and took down to a mutual friend, (let’s call her A. I got to know her through xgf) to talk about how I felt about the relationship.
While I was at the friends place xgf called and said that she wouldn’t be sleeping at home, cause she was at A’s place, which I always was. At that point a whole lot of thoughts went through my head, primarily; she’s cheating on me, a lot of signs all of a sudden made sense.
A took my phone and cussed at xgf for lying to me and using her as an excuse and xgf confessed at that point to have been cheating on me for ~3months.
A few of my real friends, those who didn’t give a fuck about how she was and still kept contact with me, have told me multiple times that she was toxic, but y’all know the saying: love makes blind. Which I can say it did in this case..
But now that I look back, and I have started to date a wonderful girl, who let me be with my friends, and even ask if she can tag along, I can also see how toxic my relationship was..
Sorry if this looks like a ramble of thoughts, but I just wanted to let it out and English isn’t my native language.
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self.offmychest
|
Happy (lol) birthday to me So, I just turned 18, but there's nothing happy about my birthday, just the usual life with depression. My parents are asleep, they are gonna wish me in the morning, so you guys could actually be the first to wish me today.
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self.depression
|
Has depression turned any of you into really good liars? I've probably had depression for a bit now, and I feel like I can create a realistic story for any situation that either gets me away form things or away from talking about my depression
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self.depression
|
I didnt see my boyfriend over the holidays. I literally stayed in bed in my own filth, didnt take a shower or eat or anything. And today he told me he doesnt care if i dissapear. There is a lot mote context to it, but honestly this is what its boiled down to. I was going to come see him today, and he got mad that I wasnt going to wait in his room for him. And he just let it all out. I'm honestly glad he let it all out. But, this is sticking in my head playing g over and over and I don't know how to stop it.
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self.depression
|
Cognitive side-efffects from sSRI: any sSRI users who got their intelligence back after quitting? Hi,
I'm looking to see if there are any stories of SSRI users who have experienced worsened cognitive functions (e.g. memory, executive function, logical or arithmetic degradation) but who have regained them after stopping the medicine for a while? In essence, I'm looking for hope.
My background is 20 mg Prozac from 17-year old until 24-year old. I'm currently trying to quit the stuff as I feel my above-mentioned cognitive functions have suffered, although it is difficult because the medicine does work and anxiety/depression also has negative cognitive effects which makes the whole "cause and effect" thing quite tricky.
Thanks!
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self.Anxiety
|
Stepping out of my Comfort Zone. Hi Reddit. How’s everyone doing? I just thought I’d try to step out of my comfort zone and type down how I’ve been feeling. I hope someone can understand. I apologize in advance for my negativity/cynicism. Here we go.
I feel so lost, so weightless. Each morning I wake up, I feel a blanket of guilt overwhelm me. It’s suffocating and I don’t know how else to describe it. My family, has been more supportive than I thought they would be. They always ask me how I’m feeling, and if I want to talk. I never really do, because I don’t really know how to describe how I feel. My mom scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist a couple months ago. I was prescribed some medication which I make sure to take daily. It seemed to be working, but I feel like I’ve regressed the last couple of weeks. I still feel so hopeless, so alone. I’d give anything to know what I’m supposed to do on this Earth. I find myself asking why I even wake up each morning. This week has been the worst. I’ve left early from work each day, I haven’t been able to concentrate. In my head, I keep hearing a voice that constantly berates me, and makes me overthink everything. It’s mostly where the guilt comes from I’d say. I’ve had thoughts of Suicide off and on for over a year. Never to the point of acting on those thoughts though. I’ve never told anyone.
Anyway, I’m sorry for writing such a long post, but I was hoping to talk to someone, anyone here, as I distanced myself from my friends that I was close with. I d give anything to have a friend again. I’d also like to extend a hand as well to anyone that’s feeling down. I’m sure I wouldn’t be much help, but I am a great listener. Anyways, Take care everyone. Thank you.
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self.depression
|
Can't cry anymore? I just feel sad but can't cry. I've had periods of near full numbness but now I just want a release. I look at my face and I see a bad frown and want to let it out. Why do meds do this?
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self.depression
|
I love the way you touch me like I’m so fragile I might break
I feel like you might feel like my body is like music
Too bad you don’t want to see me that often. Now I’m looking for your replacements. But I’ll come to your bed any time you call.
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self.offmychest
|
I just want someone to tell me I'm valid. There's this image floating around the internet that always breaks my heart when I see it. It's a large wolf with a lot of arrows craved on his back, suffering but standing. By his side, a smaller wolf with only one arrow craved on his back. He's dead.
The caption: **"Pain is relative."**
I feel like the small wolf. Constantly.
Everyone tells me I should be like the big wolf, and soldier on independently of the pain. I just can't seem to do that. Maybe I'm just not big enough. I'm too weak and fragile to move on.
The last few months, I've been missing a lot of school. My circadian rhythm is all fucked up and even when I wake up in time, I end up staying in bed because either I didn't sleep enough or I can't find the motivation to get out of bed.
I've also been very forgetful. Even now, writing this, the sentence went as following:
*"[...] because either I didn't sleep enough or (...) I can't find the motivation to get out of bed."*
The "(...)" represents the time — around three seconds — I took to remember the rest of the words. Words of a phrase I composed not even 15 seconds prior to that.
I can't remember a single thing from school. Even from the classes I like. I don't know where my English textbook is, nor my Spanish one. They're not in my bag, and it's been so long I don't even know where they are.
I can't concentrate. When I'm talking, I tend to drift off of the original subject — reread the first paragraph and see where we ended up — and can't seem to tell a short story. It's always so *long.*
At school, I might try to start copying the Art text that the teacher put on the board, but three or four paragraphs and I'll feel the aching need to talk to someone.
(Great thing for someone who also feels anxiety in certain social situations.)
I might also try to understand those weird numbers and letters the teacher keeps writing on the board in Math class, but it'll just feel like my brain is frying. After fifteen seconds at my best, five at my worst, my mind will drift off somewhere else.
Due to all of this, my grades are falling apart. Only I know how much I criticise myself every time I oversleep. How much I tell myself I'm worthless. I'm a bad person. How much I cry.
My parents, grandparents, friends, they don't see it. And they don't hear it, and they don't know it. I have to hide. They can't see me like this. Friends will get away. Family will think I'm whiny.
Because for these people, I'm making a storm out of nothing. My problem is something so simple to solve, but *I'm* making a show instead. Because I'm weak, I have no discipline, no rules.
I started thinking that maybe they're right. Maybe I just have no commitment, no work ethic. Maybe I can create that with discipline, but I don't want to, because I'm lazy.
One thing I know: I would rather be depressed and anxious than not. Even saying it, typing it, I feel so dirty and wrong. It feels so disrespectful to all the victims these illnesses have made, comparing my schoolgirl first-world problems to people who actually suffer.
But the pain is there. It might be ridiculous, and it might be invalid, but *it's there.* And it shouldn't be there.
I just... Depression, social anxiety, panic attacks, that I can deal with. I know the protocol. I know what I have to do: go to a psychologist, and, if needed and medically approved, take drugs. I know how to stop a panic attack, or at least diminish the effect.
But what if I'm just an asshole? What if I'm just lazy? What if I'm just some hypochondriac fuck trying to find excuses for my characterless behaviour?
Because I do have a problem with differing opinions. I'll be fine in a football, politics or religion debate. But when the topic is my feelings and life decisions, I'm the only one allowed to say it's my fault. If anyone else says so, or even *mentions* the topic in a way I don't like, I get all offended. I feel so whiny whenever I do that. I feel so *spoiled,* like a little kid who's always had it handed to her in a silver plate and wants everything sugarcoated.
And this whole thing — *wanting* to be ill rather than a bad person — doesn't that make me a bad person already? Disrespectful and dismissive of people who are anxious and depressed? Of their suffering? Treating it like it's light pain compared to the other option?
I've said this too many times, but I don't know, I guess it's better to keep it spontaneous? No idea. I just feel so much like an asshole right now. Like I deserve this, because I'm just weak.
I know I'm not, but *knowing* and *feeling* are very different things. And sure, I might know it, but is it true? Because no one else seems to agree with me. They all think the opposite.
I know I'm valid, but it doesn't feel like I am. Doesn't feel right saying it. I'm the only one saying it, might as well be just foolish hopeful voices in my head, who completely forgot to be rational.
I just want to read that I'm valid. From someone else. Please.
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self.depression
|
Agoraphobia Can anyone give me any remedies for agoraphobia? It really has taken over my life i dont even like leaving my house or going to the movies unless i have an end seat just so i can have a quick escape if i need to. Any help would be awesome
|
self.Anxiety
|
has anyone with bipolar had Success with memantine? im looking to try this out wondering your guys experiences with this.
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self.bipolar
|
My neighbours just found my kitten dead in their yard after a storm i'm shaking, she was asleep on the lounge when i left for work and when i got home she was missing. fast forward to 8am and my neighbours just found her in their yard dead.
this is my fault
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self.depression
|
I was called an "insane fat faggot" years ago by an ex-friend, and it feels more true now than ever. I'm an overweight possibly trans moron with severe anxiety and depression. I should just be killed. I don't know why I bother with this tortured existence no one likes me everyone hates me I should just stop living fuck
Please, any kind words would be appreciated I'm at the end of my rope
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Why does killing yourself hurt people around you so much? I hope I don't offend anyone, this is an honest question.
Why does killing yourself hurt people around you so much? Why isn't it seen as a personal choice like choosing a career, or a partner, or moving abroad? Why would those who love you rather see you suffering and being miserable than knowing you finally did something to be better? Is it cultural ("if my son killed himself I must be sad because if not I'm a bad person")? Religious ("he'll burn forever in hell")?
We are all going to die anyway... what is so bad about doing it some years before your time? Why can't people just be grateful of the time they spent with you and not sad you decided it was enough?
I would like some opinions on this. Thank you.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
I have severe bitter hatred for those that block me on social media and judge me based on my manic psychotic episodes Especially the family members. I hope they fail at life and die early for judging me.
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self.bipolar
|
I have no life So i suffer from mental illness ocd which i currently in therapy for which causes me lot of anxiety which harm my ability to do stuff because i get a obsessive bad thought in my head and just obsess that it will happen for example get cancer, have heart attack while playing sport stuff like this.
I have got to the point now im just done and fed up with everything i get up everyday just stay in bed, watch tv,video games,youtube and reddit that is it i am so bored, depressed and feel trapped with my current situation, im trying mt best to get out of this but it like im running in quick sand and getting nowhere.
I have dreams to play pro football/soccer i've been tols by coaches in the past im good enough and its something i want to do yet i have 2 issues with 1 is im scared i am going to have a heart attack while playing football which i mentioned earlier and i've told my therapist about and 2 is that when i go to a trial or join a new team i cant do it like i cant get out the car im frozen scared, last year i trained for 3 months for a trial travelled good few hours in car to get to it and freeze in the car and couldnt get out to even have a go. So iv gone on longer than i thought i would thank you for reading and would appreciate your thoughts!
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self.Anxiety
|
I'm doing great I just finished my appointment with my psychiatrist, he said "whatever you're doing, you're doing great"
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self.bipolar
|
Depression, borderline, anxiety, and physical disability is extremely lonely. So a few years ago I went to intensive treatment for my mental illness and that seemed to help while I was there and then after while I was finishing up school. I'm autistic also so I've had lots of trouble getting and keeping jobs between the autism, mental illness, and physical disability. I have IBS, addiction problems, and interstitial cystitis in addition to all my mental stuff. It feels like the world is out to get me and the system wants me to die. I've been trying to get disability and of course I got denied because the disability system is designed to keep as many people from actually getting it as possible. I'm so depressed that I lost all my passions. I used to be passionate about music, video games, art, and reading. I can't pay attention to anything except Grace & Frankie because it's my favourite show and the television equivalent of mac and cheese. It just makes me feel good to see Lily Tomlin. I love her and I think she might be my FP (favourite person, a borderline thing) lmao. I texted my therapist yesterday to ask what I should do about anhedonia. She said opposite action, the DBT skill, which I already knew and was already trying to do.
The problem with opposite action is I can do it but I can't pay attention to what I'm doing or it just doesn't help. I tried to play Prey, which I think is a very good game, but I can't pay attention and I keep getting frustrated because I don't think I'm playing it right.
Every time I open up Ableton I just make a few bleep bloops and then feel like it's pointless and stop. I haven't touched my guitar in over a year.
I'm thinking of trying a more intensive DBT program if switching therapists doesn't help. Tomorrow I am going to talk to my current therapist about switching back to the therapist I had last time I was in treatment who now has her own private practice. I love my current therapist but my therapist from treatment was the best therapist I ever had and I really made a lot of progress while I was seeing her. Also my current therapist is not hard enough on me and she isn't really helping me relearn DBT skills and is only suggesting things I already know.
Also I just went to the urogynecologist and I have to go to pelvic floor therapy for 12 weeks because my interstitial cystitis is so bad and I keep peeing on myself when I cough and sneeze and I can't have sex because it hurts too much.
I just feel lonely because I'm so sick all the time that I am stuck at home a lot and no one ever comes to visit because the people that care to hang out with me either don't have a car or work all the time or even live in a different state now.
Also I broke up with my abusive ex after 3 years of being with him and even though he's awful I miss him and I keep getting an urge to call him even though I know I shouldn't because I'm so fucking lonely.
I just want to get better but I feel like that's never going to happen. The system is designed to keep me sick.
Does anyone have any advice? I'm just gonna try to watch Grace & Frankie and SVU since they are my comfort shows and Mariska Hargitay is my other FP. I'm gonna watch Marsha Linehan videos to see if I can learn some DBT things that I forgot.
|
self.depression
|
Having a difficult time leaving my house I am totally off all medications for the first time in 7 year's because none have really worked I'm now 1 month off paxil and I'm having a hard time leaving my house even thinking about leaving makes me anxious. I pushed myself to drive last night and I had a attack down my street and turned around. I did wean off correct with the help of my physiatrist seems these past two weeks have been rough.
Not sure how I should calm these feelings down everything just hits me at once and I feel I'll lose control or die even though I know I will not.
Anyone had withdrawal and how long do they last ?
|
self.Anxiety
|
Am I going to feel like this forever? I've felt like this since 8th grade. 2 years ago, I thought it would come and go, but it didn't. It stayed and got worse. Last year my girlfriend broke up with me because I was "too miserable all the time." I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.
|
self.depression
|
Done The thought of suicide is my pleasant day dream. It is the place of peace. I haven't got there to do it yet but I could do it quickly.
I have a son and that is the only reason I hold back. He has a life of his own now and doesn't need me that much.
But i don't want to add that burden on him. I feel bad enough that I brought him into this life.
I'm almost 60, my job is about to disappear, so will my industry and I don't have enough to retire.
I can't find a partner after a lot of trying. So I'm done with that.
My back hurts all the time.
I don't enjoy anything anymore. Antidepressants don't fix it.
Oh a brain tumor would be so sweet.
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self.SuicideWatch
|
Too down to game I just got a new PS4 last weekend and I’ve been too down for most of April that I don’t even feel like playing
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self.depression
|
Coming to terms with my mental issues and realizing I'm probably depressed [deleted]
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self.depression
|
Being depressed for a long time I don’t know what I hate more myself or my life. Am I the only one that thinks this?
|
self.depression
|
How do you maintain a healthy diet when living alone and going through depression? Hello guys, as the title says how does one maintain a healthy diet while they are battling depression? As a struggling college student with barely a dime to my name, I find it hard to shop and prepare affordable meals each day.
My emotional levels are already at an all time low especially when paired with my lack of food intake. I often go days without eating because the thought of going into the kitchen to cook a health conscious meal feels insanely daunting. Only when I reach the point of near starvation do I muster the instinct to at least go buy some fast food.
Any advice?
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self.depression
|
Stages from depressed to suicidal Stages of depression
I’ve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder for almost a year and a half. I know most of the people in this subreddit has it and I hope that all of you get better soon. Ive been suicidal for so long and I have failed at my own suicide attempt. I’ve noticed some few things that change from being depressed to being suicidal. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I guess I needed somewhere where my thoughts are seen and I want to see what other people think. All of this is from my own experience so please add on to it. If you have anything to add just comment. There are five stages: pre-depression, fighting depression, accepting depression, joining depression, and post-suicide attempt.
1. Pre-depression:
(The events that led to depression.
Childhood.
Loss of innocence.
Insecurities.
Bullying.
Breakup.
Pessimism.)
2. Fighting Depression:
(Most people are stuck here.
The formation of eating disorders.
The formation of anxiety disorders.
Overthinking.
Insomnia.
A mask or a filter around people.
Extreme emotions.)
3. Accepting depression:
(Losing the will to fight.
Losing the will to live.
Fatigue.
The mask becomes harder to pull off because now it’s becoming forced.
Antisocial.
pessimistic point of view on the world and the future.
No emotions; empty inside; the feeling of numbness.
Loss of interests.
Loss of appetite.)
4. Joining depression:
(Self-hate.
Feeling worthless.
Feeling like I’m a burden on everyone.
Apologizing no matter the situation because I don’t want to blame anyone but myself.
Delusional.
Self-awareness.
Cutting; lots and lots of cutting.
Doing shit that I’m not supposed to do like smoking and drinking, so doing risky shit.
Being a bit aggressive.
Suicidal tendencies.
Closing off people.
Opening up to other people feels like a punishment.
Being so tired that I’m unable to pull off the mask.
Getting help is not appealing anymore.
Feeling like there is no future for me.
Extreme insomnia.
Mental breakdowns happen more often.
Committing suicide.)
(Note: in each stage, it adds on the previous stages so stage 4 contains all the previous stages.)
5. Post-suicide attempt:
(There are 2 outcome that comes after committing suicide. You either die or you live. If you survived you have to go back to stage 4. So you have to continue as a living carcass.)
If you can, add on to this.
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self.depression
|
Sometimes I wish my mom gave me up for adoption instead of my sister Edit: srop downvoting me. I am speaking from the heart.
My sister is a few years younger than me. She was adopted at birth and lives with her extremely wealthy family in New York. I live in a pretty shitty town with my drug addicted mom. I see photos of her on FB l, partying, travelling, smiling... I love my current boyfriend, but sometimes I feel that he'd be better off without me. Why the fuck did she keep me? I suffer from depression on a daily basis and she puts me through so much shit. I am so lonely. Fuck you, mom. Fuck you
|
self.offmychest
|
I’ve cried more in the past three days than I’ve cried all year [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Is it weird that I (22/f) always want to recieved a lot of dick pics/vids and always horny? It is not just a dick pic, I spefically want them to include their face so I can see their horny faces and most of the time i demand their jerk off to send it to me. I feel like i'm always horny all the time or in any not appropriate places like in bakery, cafe or subway. If i see a guy who are well built, big bulges or i can see their body in their t-shirt my libido always increased immidietaly. Is something wrong with me?
|
self.offmychest
|
I need help I'm sitting with boxes of painkillers and a bottle of bourbon in front of me.
I've had 2 failed attempts in the last 6 months. I live with my parents but they won't be back till Thursday. I don't have any friends I can call and the man I'm in love with has asked me to leave him alone.
I am seeing a counsellor but it's not helping, the doctors won't put me on any medication because they can cause seizures and I'm already at risk of those.
I need help. I'm scared.
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Numb left arm I have recently weaned myself off from anti depressants that although helped lessen my anxiety, caused me to gain a significant amount of weight which heightened my depression. Ever since then, I have had almost daily panic attacks accompanied by my left arm going completely numb, to the point where I am shaking it around trying to regain circulation.
Of course we all associate left arm numbness with heart attacks so that causes me to panic even harder. Occasionally I will feel it in my neck too.
I'm sure it's just my body's response to anxiety but sometimes it occurs before the panic attack even begins. Can anyone else relate or should I see a doctor? I'm 20 years old and in relatively good health otherwise.
|
self.Anxiety
|
Advice A friend of mine attempted suicide recently, luckily I was there to stop it from happening , does anyone have advice on what I can do to help her ? I’ve not known her for long and I’ve never been in this kind of situation so any advice would be amazing
Thanks !
|
self.bipolar
|
I love you much too much I'm sorry I still want to call you even though you're going to be home late and tired from a concert. I really missed you today and all I wanted to do is talk to you. I'm sorry for being so irrational and greedy because really, we just saw each other yesterday. We talked a whole lot and I still want more and more and more and this longing and wanting is making me sick especially because you don't feel the same way.
|
self.offmychest
|
At my happiest I'm also my dumbest While depression makes me feel dumbed down, and screws with my memory and attention span, when I look back at things I actually wrote or did or remember things I said....I am a complete cringey jackass when I'm not depressed. Non depressed me seems stupidly happy go lucky to the point of being basically drunk all the time to depressed me. Say what you will about depression, but for me at least, it makes me way more cautious and way less likely to do insane impulsive bullshit.
|
self.depression
|
Do you guys have a plan? If you ever actually do it? [deleted]
|
self.depression
|
Everything feels like it's on repeat. I go to school, I work, I sleep, I try to fill the remaining hours of my day with whatever (often times I can't bring myself to do anything), rinse, repeat. How do I escape this? The fact that I probably won't be finished with my bachelor's for another four years (six years total) doesn't help whatsoever, and I just... I don't know how to reach out to people and talk to them. It's just an empty, lonely void and I want it to change so badly.
|
self.depression
|
Killing myself to avoid a false rape accusation I didn't do it. I didn't rape her. Throwaway because I've never used reddit and I'll be dead within minutes. I don't have much time.
It was a girl at my campus. We went out for some coffee, then went over to my place and after a while had sex. Completely sober, consensual nothing bad. she said she enjoyed everything next day cops at my door she's saying I raped her, not true, I have my court date today and everything's gone to shit. they will take her word and they will imprison me. god knows the truth and he knows that I did not do anything bad to her. I won't go in prison and die there oh god no. Im dying innocent and free, tried shooting myself in the heart... flinched and I think I shot myself in the lung I cant breathe... just wanted to thank you for hearing me out and everybody else, god help us all
|
self.SuicideWatch
|
Help me... Can't Keep Living Like This Hello all.
I'm a freshman at an out-of-state college, first semester.
I am unbearably anxious about friends. It is killing me. I wake up in the morning and am immediately attacked with thoughts that "you have no friends", "no one would reach out to hang out with you", "no one cares about you", "you don't matter to anyone", "no one will listen to your problems". It causes me to go into almost panic attacks that last for hours on end. I worry that I'll be alone, that no one will want to hang out with me, that my friends will leave me, that nothing will ever get better.
Help me.
|
self.Anxiety
|
I keep daydreaming I listen to music and daydream about events that'll never happen. I dream that someone would hug me and tell me that its gonna be alright and i've done amazing and they're proud of me. I dream that one day i'll wake up and feel happy again. I dream that one day i'll actually get myself up to exercise. I dream that one day i'll feel motivated enough to study. I dream that one day i'll find something that im passionate in again
But then eventually it ends and i have to go back to reality
|
self.depression
|
Been reading news about all these murders lately, and it's honestly scaring me. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm going to get a gun as soon as I can. I don't feel safe at all anymore.
Maybe I should stop reading these things but I'm beginning to grow a larger distrust of strangers.
|
self.offmychest
|
I just want to be in a fucking band again but everyone I know is treating playing and instrument as just a thing to impress random strangers with in conversation and not as art. That's it. All summer long I had jam sessions at my house. The first few months the place was packed and we'd play for hours, but then the "rock star mentality" creeped in and the people who would come over would spend more and more time talking around their instruments and not playing them.
Eventually people started "next weeking" the sessions-- "I'll go next week"-- as though it would always be there. But it actually took time and effort for me to set up, so, no, if no one's going to show up I'm not going to keep having them.
Finally I gave up when the two remaining people who would sometimes show up said they wanted to become a cover band of Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. So, a cover band of a cover band. Probably the worst professional music I've ever heard. "Punk" covers of non-punk songs aren't interesting.
Now god fucking damnit there's a concert I've been offered a spot on because I was known as the jam guy over the summer. I'm trying to get people together, the ones who said they also wanted to be in a band, but after agreeing it's one excuse after another.
It will be humiliating to tell the venue that I can't fill the spot. I've always wanted to play there, since it opened, and now's my chance but the musicianship of the musicians I know starts and ends with telling strangers they're musicians so they can try to fuck them.
|
self.offmychest
|
It's such a simple thing but I can't do it I have a paper that was due today and I plan to pass it tomorrow so that I have a minimum deduction
But right now everything just hurts and I can't type anything and I feel so hollow and lifeless right now
Kind of a bad time for the depression to hit hard
I would have done it earlier but I still felt too un-alive to type it
It's been going on for a couple of weeks now
Idek I'm just really anxious because I need to pass this class and this paper counts towards my final exam
I may need help or advice
|
self.offmychest
|
Hey democratically elected government. LISTEN TO YOUR CONSTITUENTS. This is a load of B.S. really. The sheer corruption crawling out of the woodwork the last few years fills me with both stomach churning disgust and blood boiling rage. What the hell happened to "of the people, for the people, by the people?" This is America dammit! We were founded by rebelling against greedy bastards like this. Have they no shame? How do they sleep at night?! Stop taking bribes from corporations! This country is dying because these people won't crack down and limit the amount of power these corporations have. They are sucking us dry, slowly and surely. I am truly ashamed of my government. We deserve better than this.
|
self.offmychest
|
What have you found helpful? Hi all!
First I'd like to say that I do not have bipolar, but my girlfriend of two years has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for around two and a half years now. I know that no one here is a doctor, so I'm not looking for treatment suggestions, I simply am wondering about the paths you are all taking.
Her bipolar disorder manifests more on the depressive end, with few or comparitively mild manic episodes. No shopping sprees or anything like that. Those of you that identify more with this iteration of BP, what treatments have you found most helpful for yourself? I know everyone's different, even within similar symptoms, I would just love to be more anecdotally educated on this.
I send much love to you all, and thank you in advance for the answers. Each and every one of you are an absolutely lovely human being, I love this community and how accepting you all are.
|
self.bipolar
|
Today is a really rough day I've been feeling pretty down for the last few weeks, just feeling really inadequate and apathetic. Today it really hit me hard. I tried to make plans with a couple different friends but no one was available. I just feel like no one around me understands how I'm feeling, and I don't know how to open up to them. I really could use someone to talk to.
|
self.depression
|
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