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| humor
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What do you call a car crash caused by hitler? an axisdent
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Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they're talking?
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Beijing snow means less pollution and more winter fun (photos)
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I can't believe it's already been 10 zoips since i invented my own system for measuring time.
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From airlines to hotels, a quest to help you sleep
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Medtronic edited doctor reviews for its bone-grafting product, senate review finds
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Bleak new data show just how long women around the world will be waiting for equal pay
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My night at the table of shocking critics' choice winner, syfy's 'face off'
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Here's why you shouldn't take selfies with pythons
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I need to stop asking strangers if they're ticklish, and just start tickling them.
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Police officers give family car seats instead of tickets
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Who's the only living relative of penguin? his aunt arctica
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Violence as a public health problem: a most violent year
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Hugh hefner, crystal harris and 7 other celebrity couples who exchanged expensive gifts
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Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? they find bookkeeping too exciting.
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When i'm not anxious i'm anxious about it.
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Celebrities who wear glasses and the 5 makeup tips they should live by (photos)
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School meals can save a life and change the world
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What do you call a spoiled sausage? a brat-wurst.
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Glucagon, appetite-regulating hormone, may not work properly in obese people, study suggests
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A man goes to heaven he says to god i've been dying to meet you.
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Ann! do you remember me? we have so many memories together ann: **segmentation fault**
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The today show's joy bauer proves yet again that anyone (yes, anyone!) can lose weight
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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair ? virgin mobile
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Did you hear what ubisoft rated assassins creed black flag? they rated it arrrrrrrr 16.
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What do michael jackson and mervyn's have in common? they're both dead.
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Why do jewish women like circumsized men? because they're 10% off.
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Valerie jarrett on obama's secret to finding fulfillment (video)
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My bathroom smells like somebody just took a shit when i walked out of it.
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I've assembled a list of all the jokes feminists find funny: ##
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I wish i had emo hair so it would cut itself.
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What's it called when you get a boner at a funeral? (nsfw) mourning wood.
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What is the empire's favorite kind of font? sans scarif
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What slides in and out until it's balls are busted? piston
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It happened to me: i had very public affair and got fired for it
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Australian fashion week fall 2012: the most outrageously jaw-dropping moments (photos)
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A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
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Russia's three steps to homework step 1. putin it off step 2. stalin step 3. russian to finish
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British pm rules out another scottish independence vote
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Why was the ocd race car driver so fast? because he had anal prolapse.
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You still use internet explorer? you must like it nice and slow.
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How do you make all the terrorists in one room convert to rationalism. air condition the room.
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You can fart openly as long as you're always holding a whoopee cushion.
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Why do waitresses hate mohels? because they never leave a tip.
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What is every redditor's blood type? edit: typo
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Why you don't need to freak out about that kidnapping video
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15 tweets that prove celebrities are just as obsessed with pokémon go
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Hey mind if i try some of your chloroform? sure knock yourself out.
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Being overweight is linked to increased cancer risk
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What did the stockroom giraffe say to the apprentice meerkat? you're two short!
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Did you hear about the procrastinating dictator? he was stalin.
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Dog scared of feather, gives fear a cute new dimension
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My brother lost his eyesight in a motorboating accident. her nipples were pierced.
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Facebook partners with 50 publishers to launch instant articles in asia
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U.s. embracing a new approach on battling isis in iraq
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Always trust people who like big butts.... they cannot lie.
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Friday's morning email: inside trump's first big change to obamacare
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This vodka tastes strange, kinda like i'm not going to work tomorrow.
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What do you call a normal potato? a commentator
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Lea michele kicks off the new year with a cheeky nude photo
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A naked woman robbed a bank nobody could remember her face
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California declares state of emergency over l.a. methane leak
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Brandi glanville looks gorgeous in throwback modeling shot
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10 quick and painless new year's style resolutions
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What do you call a stupid skeleton? bonehead.
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Best of maria's farm country kitchen: five oldies but goodies
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Mitch mcconnell: republicans lack votes to defund planned parenthood
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Kate moss to shill mobile accessories for carphone uk
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Government finds 'top secret' information in hillary clinton's emails
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Question: what do you call a lesbian dinosaur? answer: a lickalotopus.
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What type of dog did the tweaker have? a pure bred meth lab.
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Ob/gyns, infertility doctors: toxic chemicals harm mom, dad and baby
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On struggling to love hollywood when it's so full of evil
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What is a sluts favourite drink? 7-up in cider
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If acne on your back is back-ne... then what is acne on your knee called?
| true
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I haven't gained weight. i'm just retaining cookies.
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Poll shows why black lives matter activists should be proud
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I started a band called 999 megabytes... we haven't got a gig yet...
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My attitude changes in 5 seconds flat. from sweetheart to bitch. so i suggest you don't test that.
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No hair tie? this backcombing trick will secure your strands (photo, video)
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Another casualty of 2016... ronda rousey's mma career
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Making out with the pharmacist has its percocets...
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A chinese man does stand-up comedy what is beautiful and delicious at the same time? pussy
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Did you hear about the guy that shits out jars? he's a real glasshole, that guy
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What did the hat say to the scarf? you hang around, and i'll go on ahead.
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What's the worst period of caitlyn jenner's life? there is none.
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Increasingly, retirees dump their possessions and hit the road
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The $ports guy: the making of darren rovell
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Remembering coral gardens: rastas wanted dead or alive
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Stop talking about 'screen time,' start thinking about screen use
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Dream-like novel lays bare the emotional fall-out of child abuse
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They found more dna from the ny escaped convicts... ...all over joyce mitchell's face!
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Veterans’ wait after trump fundraiser shows hurdles for campaign
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Iphone 5 announcement all but confirmed, ipad mini in tow? this week in apple rumors
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What kind of cereal does microsoft make? wind o's
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This device could make remembering to take the pill way easier
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When you're down by the sea and an eel bites your knee that's a moray.
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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? putting her back in the wheelchair
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How do polish people show gratitude? they say thansk.
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Digital prints belong in your wardrobe, not your computer (photos)
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