text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
What made gandalf spend most of his time in the shire at brothels? love of the halflings' queef. | true |
What do you do if an elephant breaks his big toe? call a big toe truck. | true |
Why were the indians here first? because they had reservations | true |
Pizza deliveryman checks on stranger's grandma after hurricane | false |
What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild? deez nuts | true |
Lobbyists swarm congress to protect interests in gop tax bill | false |
I saw trump's tax returns. you should, too. | false |
Reading about how much daniel craig hates bond is like the pope visiting kim davis all over again. | true |
Private prison companies will still lock up immigrants, despite doj decision | false |
Why can't you find any painkillers in the jungle? because the paracetomol | true |
Tokyo's robot restaurant: a bonus level for adventurous diners | false |
Chris martin performs beautiful tribute to george michael at homeless shelter | false |
Dallas police chief defends decision to use robot to kill gunman | false |
The only thing bill cosby did wrong was pudding. ...pudding his dick where it doesn't belong. | true |
What's long and hard on a black person? first grade | true |
Charlie and the chocolate factory is basically saw, but with desserts. | true |
What machine should i use at the gym to impress girls? the atm | true |
How can you help a starving cannibal? give them a hand ! | true |
James franco directs new ads for seven for all mankind (photos, video) | false |
Dark carnival: ghost clown shot in dunk tank | false |
Michigan governor asks obama to declare emergency over flint water crisis | false |
Pope admits he made 'serious errors' in handling chile sex abuse allegations | false |
Senate dems ready to 'fight back hard' on anti-abortion bill | false |
Money stress: why we use money to feel bad about ourselves | false |
Due to my lack of sexual experience... i prematurely ejaculate every time i watch a baseball game. | true |
New zealand prime minister john key unexpectedly announces resignation | false |
Dying puppy found alone in forest makes miracle transformation | false |
My visit with the lord of the startups: y combinator's paul graham | false |
Reverse psychology is like regular psychology except the woman is facing the other way. | true |
I asked rihanna where chris brown was she just shrugged her shoulders. beats me! | true |
White people 'are a lot more blind than i thought,' killer mike tells stephen colbert | false |
How do you make the best americanized chinese food? like tso. | true |
Bill de blasio wants to see a vision from hillary clinton before endorsing her | false |
Man ejected from football game gets sweet revenge with doughnuts | false |
Why did the gamer refuse to join the boy scouts? he hates camping | true |
When it comes to volunteering on my gynaecology residency, i'm the first to put my hand up. | true |
What back to school really means for moms | false |
Why the f**k can't i go to sleep?: pregnancy and postpartum sleep issues | false |
Adele covers vogue march 2012: see the pics! (photos) | false |
Vaginas are like the weather if its wet, its time to go inside. | true |
Street artist mocks 'cry baby' jimmy kimmel in fake ads around l.a. | false |
The horror of hearing the anesthesiologist say, yolo, as he puts you under. | true |
These wacky vintage beauty products look like torture devices | false |
The best juice boxes: our taste test results | false |
You know why i love space murph? you keep gettin older. i stay the same age. | true |
38-year-old defends his questionable behavior with 16-year-old niece | false |
I hate fake girls. *a nearby girl's coat busts open and four dogs tumble out* | true |
'evil sodomites' now being blamed for hurricane matthew | false |
-i can't stand liars and fakes -you are so pretty -see? why can't everyone be honest like you | true |
Japan has a clever solution to overcome the language barrier | false |
Guide to making everyone hate you: step 1) turn your hat backwards | true |
What did the boy pee say to the girl pee? urine angel. | true |
*bumps into an acquaintance in a world where there's no such thing as weather* uhhhhhhhhhhh | true |
Michelle obama won't stop encouraging kids to pursue college | false |
Who made you the boss of me? reclaiming authority in our own lives | false |
What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute? solvent | true |
Open up. this is the police. thank you. can we use your bathroom | true |
Frank ocean's interview with timothée chalamet is pretty darn charming | false |
Tired of hearing the same song over and over again? try being in marching band. | true |
Two chinese guys walk into a bar.. the bartender says why the same face? | true |
What do you call a faked pregnancy? a misconception. | true |
Light travels faster than sound. this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. | true |
If awards season teaches us anything, it’s that everyone is problematic | false |
New 'don't be mean to people' beer is fighting bigotry in north carolina | false |
Political eye: a comprehensive master plan for addressing racial inequality | false |
My poem to you roses are 0xff0000 violets are 0x0000ff return(success); | true |
What is a stealth bombers favorite banana from bananas in pajamas? b2 | true |
This coming-out will make you want to ... redecorate? | false |
Knock knock who's there? the pilot! let me in! . . . too soon? | true |
Never lose your luggage again with these 4 tips | false |
We should build a wall that keeps burning man attendees from coming home | false |
Trump threatens to veto spending bill over border wall funding, then signs it | false |
Who called it your 4th stepfather instead of mom beau number 5 | true |
What is the difference between jelly and jam? i dont jelly my dick down your throat. | true |
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? the wheelchair. | true |
If you've ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you've seen me wrapping christmas presents. | true |
What do you call an expensive circumcision? a bloody rip-off | true |
Reese witherspoon cleaning her own hollywood star is next-level extra | false |
If you do not say it, they can't repeat it. | true |
Did you know jesus was gay? he was nailed by a bunch of guys. | true |
What do gyms and prisons have in common? they're both full of ripped assholes. | true |
I pinched out a bowel movement while reaching for a stool. | true |
Something to celebrate: 17 of the best lgbt moments from march 11 - march 17 | false |
Kate upton in louboutin heels: swimsuit model proves she can toss a football in pumps (video) | false |
What is the difference between tiger woods and ted cruz? heidi cannot swing a golf club. | true |
Anything can be sexual if you think about it long and hard enough. | true |
The 25 things moms really don't want to hear this thanksgiving | false |
Lupita nyong'o wants to fill the 'gaping hole of representation' in hollywood | false |
Leprosy joke what did the leper say to the hooker after they had sex? keep the tip. | true |
What's a kidnapper's favorite kind of shoes? white vans | true |
How very is a very good dinosaur? very. (thought of this idk if it was good) | true |
Millions of 'shade balls' protect la's water during drought | false |
Bigfoot versions differ across cultures, but rooted in common 'wild man' myth, expert suggests | false |
Imagine a world where the nra used positive messaging and preached responsibility | false |
I make spelling mistakes alot and when i say alot i mean a lot. | true |
I bet george washington's favorite drinking game had to have been quarters. | true |
My girlfriend was upset when i brought home a vibrator... it rubbed her the wrong way. | true |
What do you name a dog with no legs? cigarette because you take him out for a drag. | true |
What do tight jeans and a cheap hotel have in common? no ballroom | true |
If jack helped you off the horse... ... would you help jack off the horse? i tried. | true |
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