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Did you hear about the man who invented the knock-knock joke? he won the nobel prize.
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Knock knock who's there? dwayne. dwayne who? dwayne the bathtub, i'm dwowning!
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Guys.... women aren't hard..... and if they are... they aren't women.
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves? russell.
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What's the definition of trust? two cannibals doing 69.
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Newspaper which reported on gay abuse in chechnya fears for staff
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Why do scotsman wear kilts? because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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Bad yelp reviews: one-star ratings for three-michelin starred restaurants
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Another town gripped by fear over lead-tainted tap water
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Let's make this bar joke week. here's one to start: a man walks into a bar. ouch.
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If a plane from california crashes in a cemetery in montana where are the survivors buried?
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Congressional oversight may be more important than ever. is jason chaffetz up to the job?
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Let me bore you with tales of libor -- or is it lie-bor?
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Fool me once, fine by me. fool me twice, jokes on you. i still don't give a fuck.
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Troll your friends by texting them a fake blinking ellipsis (...) http://imgur.com/3rm8yc2
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What makes perfect sense? the u.s. mint (cents)
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Whats the most common breakfast in africa? ebola cereal!
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Netflix just released the first teaser for 'wet hot american summer'
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A breath of fresh art: rabbit air purifiers merge form and function (photos)
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I just wanna make a lot of money and not do very much, is that so wrong?
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Sorry, i can't listen to your vegan nonsense right now. i have more important things at steak.
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Anti-abortion governor ironically tweets about the importance of 'choice'
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Ronda rousey in her latest match.. she really did suffer the agony of da feet.
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Knock knock. who's there? the jews. the jews who? don't question us, that's anti semitic.
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How do punctuation marks get freaky? the comma sutra
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A look back at zimbabwe president robert mugabe's rise to power
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Why can't t-rexs clap their hands? because they're all dead
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How do you make an asian blind? you put a windshield in front of them
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Weekend box office: 'oz: the great and powerful' has a huge opening
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Kevin love dislocates shoulder, slams celtics player for 'bush league play'
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How to discover and embrace your ultimate truth
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Is the black friday name racist? because everything's a steal?
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I hate when i forget to shave then people assume i'm a hippy and start talking about recycling.
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There's never enough time to do it right, but there's always enough time to do it over.
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I've just received my 14th christmas card from the alzheimer's society.
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You've decided to leave your spouse -- now what?
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Bombing at doctors without borders clinic in yemen kills 4, group says
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6 ways dating is like hiking in dangerous climbs
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John boyega to star in film based on detroit race riots
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What do you give a sick microbe? primordial soup
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Instagram account highlights art history's most badass fashion moments
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6 steps to reset your sleep patterns for fall
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What do you call a whiny dog? a chi-waaa-waaa!!!!
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This rap about authentic ethnic food is the asian-american anthem we need
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What do you call soap for your ass-hole? shampooder.
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I bought a tiny chili pepper plant today. i wanted to spice up my apartment.
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Two peanuts were walking though the park and one was a salted.
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Domenico dolce apologizes for anti-ivf, anti-gay adoption remarks
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Brain: he mentioned marriage again. you know what to do. *sets phone on fire*
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I just checked out the new windows 10 browser. i'm still on the edge to download google chrome.
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Why do bulimics love kfc? it comes with a bucket.
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Doritos recipes: a brilliant way to eat more chips (photos)
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Why do spies never use capitalization? they like to stay low-key.
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Mike huckabee celebrates firing of former fbi deputy director by making dead dog joke
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What do you get when you cross a person and a manatee? humanity! ...and bestiality....
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3 charming and affordable european cities you haven't visited yet
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I told my therapist that i was hearing voices. he told me i didn't have a therapist.
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What does a gay orgy sound like? a cockophony.
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Q. how do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher? a.it's cloged up with paper plates.
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What's the difference between a calendar and me? the calendar has dates.
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Did you know in judaism there is no hell? hitler changed that
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Sarah palin pokes fun at hypothetical 2016 run on 'snl'
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My friend got into an accident while vacationing in vietnam he got hit by a truc.
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I've finally worked out why spain is so good at football. nobody expects the spanish in position.
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Where do you get a drink on excel? ....formula bar
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7 thoughtful chalk messages to brighten your day (photos)
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What's the best part about having a deaf child? you can have sex as loudly as you want.
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People call me peanut-butter... because everywhere i go, folks be gettin' jelly.
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Compound in corydalis, chinese medicine plant, promising for chronic pain relief
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That awkward moment when you change your facebook status to single and your ex likes it.
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Here are the latest photos from march for our lives
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Bruce willis is in talks for his next role with 'expiration'
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What do you call an airplane's cockpit if it's staffed by female pilots? the box office.
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Republicans have basically given up on repealing obamacare
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If abraham lincoln was alive today... he'd be desperately clawing at the lid of his coffin.
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Dwayne 'the rock' johnson is returning to 'wrestlemania'
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How to be an optimist: 10 habits that'll help you look on the bright side
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Huffpost hill - so hard to say good bayh
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Apparently the g-spot is located in a $1700 pair of christian louboutins.
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How do you beat someone in an argument? use your fists.
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The 2 beliefs that keep you stuck in a stress cycle
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A man didn't like his haircut but it started to grow on him
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Mothers make 71 cents on a man's dollar -- time to celebrate?
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Best way to answer a call: mario's pizzeria and abortion clinic: your loss is our sauce self.jokes
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The ultimate poster art for every person who binge-watched 'stranger things'
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'supergirl' star melissa benoist met some 'super' girl scouts on set
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What kind of soap do middle eastern citizens use? arab spring
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Statistically speaking..... isn't a mean joe just an average joe?
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Drying out wet fireworks in the oven is not a good idea. trust me on this
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Have you seen that old movie about the kkk? i hear it's a real cult classic.
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Bill maher reveals '25 things you don't know' about bernie sanders
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Report: nypd union meeting devolves into yelling and shoving
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Love in marriage: long-term love may not be uncommon, study says
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What do you call a math teacher who's really into bdsm? a denominatrix.
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What happened when steve irwin forgot to put on sunscreen? he got hurt from harmful rays
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What does batman put in his drinks? just ice.
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Madonna truth or dare logo is copyright infringement, says sydney artist (photos, video)
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What's green and smells like ms. piggy? the boston celtics
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Why do sailors use liquid soap? it takes longer to pick up when they drop it.
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Pun megathread post your punniest, worst, most awful puns here
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